Things Roswell Characters Would Never Say

killjoy · Post by **killjoy** » Sat May 13, 2006 4:17 am

After a bad day a work Tess wanted nothing more than to go home to her boyfriend and let him spoil her. When she got to the apartment they shared she found Kyle sitting on the sofa, eating popcorn and watching tv. Thinking 'oh what the hell' Tess kicked off her high heels and curled up next to Kyle on the sofa.

"So what are we watching?" Tess smiled up at Kyle as she reached into the bowl of popcorn that sat in Kyle's lap.

"New tv show that's coming out." Kyle mumbled around the popcorn in his mouth.

"Anybody good in it?" asked Tess.

"Well Michael Jackson is the star of the show and it's based around him." shrugged Kyle.

"Cool, what's it called?"

"Touched By An Uncle."

NikkiA · Post by **NikkiA** » Thu May 18, 2006 10:15 am

Tess pushes Max towards Liz "You take him, I don't want anymore."

Liz pushes Max back towards Tess, "What am I going to do with him? You take him."

Tess pushes him back; "No you take him!"

Liz: "No you!"

Max "Girls!"

Liz and Tess "Shut up Max!"

After much arguing Liz and Tess agree they no longer need men and walk off to start their new life together, leaving Max by his sweet lonesome. He is summarily jumped by half the female population of the boards and decides he likes it better this way anyway.

Peace Out,
Nicole

FaithfulAngel24 · Post by **FaithfulAngel24** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:38 pm

"Touched By An Uncle."

OMG That show better never surface LOL

After much arguing Liz and Tess agree they no longer need men and walk off to start their new life together, leaving Max by his sweet lonesome. He is summarily jumped by half the female population of the boards and decides he likes it better this way anyway.

LMAO! Oh if only he did

killjoy · Post by **killjoy** » Tue May 23, 2006 3:33 am

"So you're a Skin and after time you have to change out your husk?" Liz asked Courtney as she sat in the bathtub trying to stay moist and avoid drying out.

"Yeah" nodded Courtney "Every fifty or so years we have to go back and get a new husk."

"Fifty years my ass." Maria rolled her eyes "As slutty as you are you probably wear that thing out and have to go get it replaced every FIVE years. And another thing......"

Liz quickly clamped her hand over Maria's mouth."We'll be leaving now." said Liz as she dragged Maria from the bathroom, the other girl still trying to mumble around Liz's hand.

SagiBecca · Post by **SagiBecca** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 11:42 pm

Does it have to start with a quote from the show? because this is completely random.

"Make love to me Alex, I want you so much right now" Isabelle says laying on the bed in a very seductive manner

"would love to but I got band practice in a couple of minutes, see you later" Alex responds going through the door leaving Isabelle hot and horny and by her lonesome.

kiwigirl · Post by **kiwigirl** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:00 am

Liz: I know right from wrong and I know it’s wrong to benefit in any way from someone’s passing but I wont denied that Tess’s death has freed me. Ding dong the witch is dead the wicked witch

killjoy · Post by **killjoy** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:10 pm

Michael was at home doing his damn best to watch the last game of the NHL hockey championship. But sadly and much to his dismay Maria had showed up at his apartment believing that they were needing to spend more "quality time" together. And what had that meant? Well it meant that she hadn't shut her damn mouth since she came in the door.

"MICHAEL!"

"What?!" Michael asked without taking his eyes of the game that was now tied and in the last period.

"Have you even heard a word I said?" Maria huffed.

"Actually no Maria.I told you earlier that I was trying to watch the game." Michael stated, once again not taking his eyes of the tv.

"Hmmmph" Maria pouted as she shoved the magazine she was reading in Michael's face "Look at this.It says here that scientist in Africa found the skull of a woman that lived over two thousand years ago."

"Whoopty all to hell,good for them." Michael sighed sarcastically, not given a damn about anything except watching the game he had money bet on.

"That's so cool." said Maria looking back down at the article while not catching the sarcasm in Michael's voice But a second later Maria looked up confused "If it was just a skull they found, I wonder how they knew it came from a woman?"

Finally having enough of this Michael turned away from the tv to look at Maria.

"Probably because when they found it, it had it's mouth open!"

SMACK!!

madroswellfan · Post by **madroswellfan** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:27 am

loved it killjoy!

Zanity · Post by **Zanity** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 11:55 am

This is based on an old party joke I heard again just recently. If you've heard the joke before you'll probably enjoy this, if not don't worry about it you're probably better off in the long run.

Khivar cornered Max and Zan in the basement of the warehouse, "I don't know what all you've been told... but I'm going to tell you the truth now. I'm not evil, in fact I'm your son. Your death on Antar was an accident and it was me who had you recreated in hopes that one of you could answer a question that's been plaguing me all my life. You see the origional King Zan, my father, was about to answer it when he died."

Max and Zan exchanged confused looks as Khivar shouted, "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL THE PING PONG BALLS?"

kiwigirl · Post by **kiwigirl** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 3:45 pm

Lmfao..... if you ever find out about the ping pong balls i really want to know as well