Disclaimer: For the third time, no I don't own anything Roswell related


Category: M/L to begin with, maybe some UC later. Also AU fic, with no aliens.
Rating: MATURE or ADULT for some contents I guess

Summary: Max. Liz. Love at first sight. Perfect and happy romance... until an awful secret hidden for a long, long time is revealed and changes their lives drastically. Will they go through this or will this ordeal definitely tear them apart? … I guess that's pretty much it!
AN: I didn't really wanted to start a new fic when I hadn't even finished the two others I started, but some people told me that the idea could be good and I shouldn't keep it to myself

Some situations may shock some of you, but believe me there is a reason for everything so keep that in mind and everything will be alright, okay?
There shouldn't be any Isabel in this fic, at least not before a long time, but Alex and Kyle could be there, not sure yet. Tess will show up sometime later

Of course feedbacks are a must, whether they are good or not, so send them my way


This fic is dedicated to all the French Roswellians around here, to Angie, my own and personal banner-maker



Prologue
Liz ran as fast as she could, not even noticing the rain that was again pouring from above, soaking her more and more with each step away she took.
She ignored the burning sensation in her lungs. She ignored the growing pain in her legs. But most of all, she ignored his desperate voice begging her to stop. Begging her to wait for him.
She couldn't. Even if she knew she would certainly regret it afterwards, just now she just couldn't stop and face him. She wanted to get out of here. No she needed to get out of here. Put as much distance between her and this place and mostly between her and him.
She needed to go somewhere where she could cry and break down without having him witnessing it or trying to tell her that everything would be alright. Because for the first time in her life, for the first time since she had met him, she knew that Maxwell Evans wouldn't be able to make this right. No, even with the best will in the world, Max would never be able to fix this mess and change the fact that they couldn't be together. Ever.
How could her life have changed so much in such a short time, in a matter of hours even? she wondered for the thousandth time since hearing the news.
Yesterday everything was fine.
Yesterday she was the happiest girl in the world, loved by and in love with the most amazing man this Earth could bear and today everything was over.
Today she was told that she couldn't be with him anymore, that their love had been doomed from the start, forbidden by some mistakes other persons had committed so long ago and that had nothing to do with them. But in the end, they were going to be the only ones to have to suffer the consequences of those acts now. They were the ones whose lives and hopes had been shattered and destroyed with one single sentence, with one simple word in fact.
A loud sob escaped her mouth as she recalled the earlier events and she stumbled forward, catching herself at the last moment before falling but ruining her cocktail dress in the process. She didn't even look at the damage, knowing that she had to have opened the side slit much more than it originally was, but stopped nonetheless just long enough to search around her, looking for anything familiar.
She hadn't really paid any attention to her surroundings when they had entered the Evans's Estate in the limousine, wanting to enjoy the warmth of Max's embrace for just a few more minutes since she had known that they would have to keep some respectful distance once inside and not be all over each other like they used to, and as a result she felt like she was only turning around in the vast park now, unable to remember where they had come from.
She hadn't even looked where she was going when she had left the reception, too eager she was to be out of there and not see their faces any longer. She had not bothered to follow the main road either but instead had passed through the trees, hoping that they would hide her long enough to make it out.
But now she was lost. Lost, with Max still behind her, slowly but surely closing the distance between them, his pace definitely faster, when she could already feel her strength failing her gradually.
Soon he would be on her and she knew him enough to know that he wouldn't let her leave like that. Soon he would be there trying to convince her that every problem has a solution and that this one wouldn't be any different.
How wrong he would be for once!
Seeing some light on her right she turned off abruptly, treading on her long dress again and tearing it up some more and sure that she would fall for good the next time, she quickly gathered the torn and wet material in her hands and resumed her run, hoping that she would soon find the main entrance and leave this place forever.
After moving a few feet in that direction, she realized that she could indeed clearly see the little guards' cabin they had stopped at when they had arrived and she released a relieved breath. She was almost there. She would do it, she could do it.
But her reprieve was short-lived since no sooner had she thought that, that she heard him again and more clearly now.
"Liz… Liz, please… stop!" Max tried again though he had been yelling after her almost ever since she exited the house and started running with him in tow. But so far all his attempts had resulted to be totally unsuccessful and once more he cursed himself for having wasted some precious minutes and not having followed her as soon as she had left.
She kept running and running and Max was too afraid he would lose her if he let her leave him now to even consider that she might just need some time before being able to talk to him. "Liz… wait please!"
"Open the gate… open the gate please!" Liz immediately yelled once she reached the cabin, frantically knocking on the window and startling the guard that hadn't seen her coming.
He looked confused at the young girl who had obviously emerged from the large grove on his left, wondering what she could be doing outside with the storm that was growing more and more menacing and why she looked so scared and eager to leave, until he saw Mr. Evans not so far behind her, looking just as disheveled as she did.
He quickly considered doing as he was asked, thinking that there was something wrong in this picture, when he heard his boss's son ordering him otherwise.
"LUCAS DON'T!… DON'T OPEN!" Max shouted, dreading what would happen if he didn't obey and Liz was able to exit the property. Would he see her again? Or would she just disappear from his life forever, leaving him utterly miserable for the rest of his existence?
"Please… you have to open that door, NOW!" seeing there her last chance to escape from Max, Liz insisted at the same time that she threw almost terrified looks behind her shoulder.
Lucas briefly wondered again what the hell was happening here and why young Mr. Evans would be chasing a woman who obviously didn't want to have anything to do with him, but in the end he knew better than to mess with him. Whatever this was, it was none of his business. But just for his own peace of mind he would still observe them and make sure that nothing happened to her and that he wouldn't hurt her.
"I'm sorry…" he mumbled, regretting not being able to help her at the moment.
"NO!… NO!… PLEASE… You don't understand… I have to get out! PLEASE!" he then heard the brunette's tortured voice and that was nearly enough to make him cave.
However before he could act the young man was already behind her and he instinctively sat up when he saw the woman immediately moving away from him like she was really afraid of him.
He considered calling Philip Evans or even the police but one look at the now distraught face of one usually always in control Maxwell Evans and the tenderness with which he was looking at her despite the situation, was enough to appease any doubts he could have had: whatever the reasons she was running away from him were, he would certainly never harm her. This had to be some lovers' argument that they just had to solve together.
He saw the apologetic but definitely relieved look Maxwell gave him and he decided to resume his previous activities and act as if he couldn't see them or hear them to give them the privacy they certainly needed for that.
"Liz!" Max expelled, trying first to catch his breath. He then instinctively reached for her arm to turn her to him but before he could even utter a single word she yanked it off like the simple touch had burnt her delicate skin.
"Don't… d-don't touch me please!" she painfully said and taking a few more steps away, she found herself directly in front of the huge iron bars, griping them so hard that her knuckles were turning white, desperately pleading with both of them again. "Open the gate please…"
"Liz…" Max breathed, following her nonetheless but hurt beyond belief by her rejection.
The logical part of his brain of course knew that it was certainly only a defensive reaction and not real repulsion, but it didn't lessen the blow for all that.
"Tell me it's not true Max!…" Liz finally asked when she realized that they weren't going to comply, but so softly that Max wasn't sure he had really heard her speak.
Her back was to him, her head hanging down dejectedly and though he was literally dying to just touch her, he somehow managed to curb that urge not wanting to see a repeat of her previous response to him.
"Baby… I… " he stammered helplessly not knowing what to tell her. He himself had no good answer to offer her. Though he hoped with all his might that what they had just been told was not true he didn't know for sure.
"Tell me it's all… a-all just a lie… or… or some big mis-misunderstanding… please Max!" she continued before turning to him and looking at him, a frightening and pleading look in her usually so expressive eyes.
Max gulped and felt the air rushing out of him all at once, leaving him totally speechless in front of her so obvious distress as much as her appearance.
Her dress, almost transparent now, was clinging to her, revealing to him the soft curves of those breasts and hips he had learned to love so much, the light curls that she had added to her normally straight and silky hair were long gone, washed away by the pouring rain, her usually flawless face was marred with the evident proof of her crying, but strangely Max had never found her more beautiful than at this moment and the sight made his heart ache painfully.
Looking at her now he couldn't help remembering his thoughts when he had first seen her this evening when he had come to take her here. How she had literally taken his breath away in that ivory dress that had hung her forms so perfectly, how proud he had felt or how lucky he had thought he was that this beauty could actually love him when he was so sure he didn't deserve such a wonderful woman.
God, how was it possible for them to have reached this point now? How? And WHY?
"TELL ME MAX!" Liz suddenly yelled at the top of her lungs when he didn't answer, before leaning forwards hands on her stomach and breaking in a painful sob. "Tell me… tell me… tell me please…"
"L-Liz… I… you have to calm down love!" Max pleaded with her, hating to see her so upset and vulnerable but unable to find anything that would really help her.
Not an hour ago he could have just taken her in his arms and he would have brought her all the comfort he could offer her, but now she didn't even seem to be able to stand the sight of him and it made him feel utterly helpless and useless.
"C-Calm down?… how am I supposed to calm down when my life is falling apart! And… god, are you calm Max? Can you be calm after that?" she inquired between tears and hiccups.
Calming down was the furthest thing from her mind.
She wanted her life back. She wanted to wake up in her bed, in his arms and find out that all of this had been nothing but a horrible and twisted dream. She wanted what she had just lost, though somehow she was sure she wouldn't have it ever again.
"Of course not, but Liz…" he started, but was instantly stopped by her broken voice.
"God, it can't be true… it can't… it would… it would mean that… that… oh god, oh god…" she said, starting to pace in front of him and shaking her head back and forth like she was having a silent conversation in her head to which she couldn't find any satisfying conclusion.
"Liz… please, come back with me inside sweetheart… you-you're going to catch something and…" he demanded, seeing her trembling more and more with each second they spent there, but couldn't finish his sentence.
"I don't care… I'm not going back there… I'm not going anywhere with you… and I-I don't care anymore… I don't care!" she started to repeat stubbornly over and over.
Why would she care about a cold, or even a pneumonia or whatever else she could catch tonight when her heart had just been crushed, broken, shattered into a million of tiny, little pieces. Surely nothing could be worse or hurt more than that.
"But I do! Liz, baby, please… we-we need to talk about this, and we'll go wherever you want if you don't want to go back but… you can't stay outside!" he proposed, trying to raise his voice above the sudden clap of thunder.
"No… no… God, Maaax… " she cried before clamping her hand over her mouth and starting to sob again. "It hurts… it hurts so much!" she then moaned tremulously, breaking Max's heart a little more with each word she said. God, they held so much pain.
Pain that would certainly be reflected tenfold in his own words if he just stopped long enough to really think about the situation. But Max just couldn't do that. If he did, the awful truth would hit him square in the face and he wouldn't be able to deny it, just like he wouldn't be able to deny then that he and Liz had absolutely no future, and that was something that was really not conceivable at the moment.
Liz meant everything to him and picturing a life where she could have no part in, at least not the one he wanted her to, was just unbearable and the last thing he could think about now.
So instead he did the only thing he could, the only logical thing: he pushed aside all those negative thoughts that were threatening to drive him crazy and he tried to concentrate on her and only her, like he always did when something went wrong. She was his life and he would do anything for her and god, how he needed her.
The only problem was, was he really the one she needed right now? And would she let him help her anyway? He couldn't say, but he would be damned if he didn't at least try and just gave up without a fight.
"It hurts!" she moaned again, suddenly wrapping her arms around herself and clutching at her sides like she was going to be physically sick.
Unconsciously she took a step towards him before staggering backwards again, needing his comfort more than anything else at the moment but knowing she couldn't seek it in his arms anymore.
Max caught the movement however, and despite her obvious reconsideration, he saw that as a sign and took a tentative step in her direction, closing the distance between the two of them some more.
"I know baby, believe me I know!" he whispered trying to still contain his own emotion but failing miserably. Of course, he also knew how much it hurt and he would give anything just to be able to take her pain, too, even if it would mean doubling his own, he would even welcome it provided that she wouldn't have to suffer at all, but he couldn't.
"How could they do this to me… how could you… I…" Liz accused incoherently, needing to find someone to blame for all this mess.
"I didn't know either, Liz… I-I didn't know… but I promise you… I… we'll figure this out!… Everything will be alright, Liz!" Max swore, needing to hear the words too, even if it was just to convince himself as much as her that they would go through this.
"Max… you are so… so naïve… this can't be figured out… and it's not alright… it won't ever be alright again… it's-it's over… don't you see it?" Liz half-laughed, half-sobbed while she resumed her nervous pacing.
She started running her hands through her hair shakily, gripping it like she was going to pull it out and then let escape a frustrated cry.
Stepping even closer Max took off his tux jacket to protect her as much as he could, sure now that she wouldn't go anywhere with him, at least not any time soon.
"B-Baby come here… come here, please!" he tried, his voice just above a whisper not wanting to scare her away. Once near enough then, he wrapped the jacket around her shivering form and pulled her to his body.
"No… no, Max let me go… god, I hate him… I hate him and I… I… I hate you!" she cried, all of a sudden pummeling his chest with her tiny fists and with all the strength she could muster at the moment.
Deep inside her she knew that none of this was Max's fault and that he was certainly in just as much pain than she was, but turning her anger to him was the only way she could find at the moment to express and deal with her own pain.
Maybe if she could convince herself that she could hate him, she would forget that she loved him too much to bear the thought of losing him and facing a life without him.
"Liz, stop please… stop baby, you're going to hurt yourself!" Max said without even wincing under her blows. Physical pain was nothing compared to the inner turmoil he was enduring right then.
"Let me go… let me go… M-MAX… I hate you… I HATE YOU!" she reiterated more forcefully and continued to struggle when he obstinately refused to let her leave his arms.
As far as Max was concerned she could beat him to death if she wanted, not that it could really happen anyway, but he would not release her until she would really calm down and talk to him.
"That's not true and you know it… you know you don't mean that!" he murmured into her ear, tightening his grip on her and hoping she would finally stop.
God, he hated this. He hated that she was fighting him so much when he was almost sure that, deep down, she had to need him just as much as he needed her right now.
"It's true… I hate you both… I hate you both so much!" she insisted though even to her own ears, her voice was lacking conviction now.
"That's too bad because I love you!" Max declared softly and meaning the words more than ever before, even if that was certainly the last thing she needed to hear at this moment. But how could he lie to her or not say it when he knew it could be the last time he would be able to declare his love to her?
"Don't say that Max… please don't say that… don't say it!" she pleaded, shaking her head but unconsciously wrapping her arms around his waist now and bringing him closer.
"Why not?… you know I mean it… Liz… they can say what they want, it won't change that… It won't change what I feel for you… I could never not love you Liz!" he vowed sincerely, knowing that they would have to rip his heart off his chest before this could happen.
"It's not fair… it's so not fair…" Liz lamented and angrily fisted her hands on his shirt just as she said the words.
"I know love… I'm sorry…"
"Why Max… why?… why?" she then cried, her voice coming muffled since her head was now tucked under his chin.
The involuntary brush of her lips on his chest instantly wreaked havoc on Max's senses and he had to close his eyes and inhale deeply to reign on his raged emotions.
God, how would he live without being able to be with her like this, without holding her whenever he would feel the need or without seeing her ever again or every time he would want to? It just seemed impossible.
"Shh, shh… look at me… look at me baby!" Max asked her before tucking her wet hair behind her ears and cradling her face in his hands to make eye contact with her. "We'll go through this together… whether it's true or not… and I'm sure it's not… it's… there has to be an explanation for this… but whatever it is, we are together okay!"
"Max… I can't do this… I can't… it hurts too much… if-if it's true… what… what are we gonna do? … I don't think I can do it…" Liz croaked in response and buried her face in his chest again, trembling with renewed tears.
"Shh… shh… don't cry… don't cry love, please!" Max tried to soothe gently while stroking her hair and her back.
"Why now Max?… everything was so… so perfect… why did it have to happen now?" she asked him brokenly even though she wasn't really waiting for any kind of answer.
"I don't know sweetheart… I wish I did, but I-I don’t know!" he replied, feeling like a total idiot for telling her the same lame thing over and over again.
'I don't know'… what kind of answer was that?
But what was he supposed to say?
He didn't know why this night that was supposed to be memorable to both of them had turned into the worst nightmare one could imagine. He didn't know why such a secret had been revealed only today when they should have been informed a long time ago. And he didn't know why this was happening now, and even less why it was happening to Liz, when in Max's eyes she was the person that certainly less deserved to be hurt like that or in any other way.
Liz turned watery eyes up to him and Max felt his heart constricting and his breath getting caught in his throat at the sight.
How many times had he gotten lost in those big brown eyes of hers thinking that he could spend the rest of his life looking at her, drinking her in, and now he wasn't even sure he would see tomorrow with her.
"I love you so much, Liz!" he breathed achingly, wiping her tears away with his thumbs before bringing his lips to hers for a soft kiss.
"M-Max… It's-it's wrong… I-I can't…" Liz stuttered, taking a small step away. But she couldn't go far, Max cupping her face in both his hands again as soon as he felt her pulling away.
"It can't be wrong, Liz… I mean… God, how can it be wrong when it feels so right?… Nothing… nothing has ever felt more right to me than loving you… holding you… being with you! And I won't let them… I won't let him destroy that… see, see… I-I'm sure there has to be some kind of explanation… because I know we are meant to be Liz… I've always known that… from the very first time I laid my eyes on you, I just knew we were meant to be!… And I know you felt it, too!" he declared fervently having finally lost all battle against those angry tears that had been shimmering in his eyes ever since she had flown away from the house.
"I don't know… I don't know anymore!" Liz cried and sobbed uncontrollably not having the strength to fight anymore.
She fell forward, directly into Max's opened and comforting arms and grabbed hold of him like her life depended on it. And right then she was sure that it did. That she would just die if he ever let go of her again. She felt so empty inside, the pain increasing even more and overwhelming all of her senses.
In the end, unable to hold on any longer, she felt her knees giving up under her and Max had no other choice but to lower them both to the ground, tenderly gathering her on his lap, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head from time to time, as she cried her heart out on his shoulder and he followed suit, finally letting his own tears run completely free.
"Shh, I'm here… I'm here baby, I'll never let you down… we'll go through this… I promise… whatever it takes… I'm not gonna let you down! I'm not giving up on you Liz!… I'm sure we'll go through this…" he repeated over and over again, hoping that if he said the words often enough they would somehow become true.
And for a long, long time they remained just like that, desperately clinging to each other and seeking some warmth and improbable relief in the other's arms, oblivious to the rain that had yet to stop or to the two figures watching them in the distance, aching themselves for the two broken-hearted whose only crime in life had been to fall crazily and irremediably in love with the only one they unfortunately had no right to.
End of the prologue
