Here Without You (UC, Mi/L, K/I, ADULT) Ch 14A [WIP]

[Dimensia]

Title: Here Without You

Author: Dimensia

Email: dimensia@gmail.com

Disclaimer: Roswell characters belong to Metz, Katims, and a slew of other folks who are not me. The line used in the banner comes from "Forever December" by Tabitha's Secret (aka matchbox twenty). Kim Richey's "A Place Called Home", Maroon 5's "Tangled", Beth Neilsen Chapman's "Sand and Water", and scattered lines from matchbox twenty's "Bed of Lies" are also used along the way (I can't help it - I love them like Michael loves Metallica). Don't sue, I'm broke.

Summary: Set after Graduation, with one major difference - Max and Liz aren't married. Michael's POV. And the hair is still long.

Couples: Mi/L, K/I

Rating: ADULT

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<b>PROLOGUE » </b><i>The Future Ain’t What It Used to Be</i>


To think, this was supposed to be freedom.

That's what we had told ourselves when we fled. When we left our families behind. When we risked all to keep each other safe. When we banded together as a unit, creating a new family, and each pledged loyalty to the group. That we were setting out into the unknown to be free, and to be together.

What a joke.

The great wide open isn't all it's cracked up to be. Not when you're trapped inside a VW van on its last legs, with five other bodies to boot. Not when you don't know when you'll get your next shower, hell, your next hot meal. After a few days, the excitement fades away, takes the idle conversation with it, and you wonder why you ever took sleeping in a bed for granted. After a few weeks, the people who now make up your entire existence start to grate on your nerves, wear down your patience. Gone are the pleasantries, the reassuring looks, the carefree chats.

In their wake, a new tension is born. You start to realize that there's more to the souls surrounding you than you ever knew, even as tight-knit as you were back home. That one grinds his teeth as a nervous habit. Another mumbles in her sleep. One even chews on her hair. And each and every surfacing quirk, one that may have been cute or laughable under different circumstances, pisses you off.

After a few months, the silence is deafening.

Even though you're crammed together like tuna in a can, you feel completely alone. There's an emptiness that can only be filled with a constant, a place to be. Somewhere to belong. And as you look at the scenery whizzing by, each tree looking like one you left behind eons ago, each road kicking up the same dust, you realize that that place is anywhere but here.

And then the voices start.

Whispers in the dark, crawling over you in a dreamless void, or in a quiet daze as the miles slip underneath. Asking you questions that have no answer. Making you doubt your reasons, your choices, your feelings... And feeding that empty place in your soul, so it grows, expands, paints everything in its wake in matte shades of black.

The promises made in the beginning start to warp... The combined shouts and solid whispers that once made everything okay, that made everything worthwhile, have been replaced by a new mantra. One that echoes in your head constantly, creating a silent chorus with the unspoken thoughts of everyone around you...

<i>Life sucks, and then you die.</i>


<i>The endless night has got a hold on me
Dark days are pulling me forward
There’s nothing so sad
As a tomorrow gone bad
The future ain’t what it used to be…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

A/N: Calinia, thank you for the feedback. I had the same problem with the ultimate ending (and many, many others. Hehe.) This is my first fic, my baby (and posting these early parts has emphasized in my mind just how much my writing has changed since)... And I guess I started it for a sense of closure. I'm so glad that you're enjoying it, and that it rings true for someone. Enjoy the rest of the story.

Courtney

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<b>CHAPTER ONE » </b><i>A New Day Has Come</i>


The van ground to a halt, the brakes screeching in protest. A few days ago, Maria would have followed with a screech of her own, leaving me to pray to the auto gods that the brakes would drown her out in the process.

Maria isn't here anymore.

We all knew she wouldn't make it on the road. What surprised us is how long she lasted. Four of us actually had a pool going. Not that there was any money in the pot - there was far too little of that to go around. Nah, the winner got out of the driving rotation for a week. Seven whole days.

It's amazing how long a day can be.

After 20 months, 16 days, 9 hours, and 38 minutes, give or take, Maria dropped the bomb. We were packing up our campground just outside of Buffalo, headed God knows where, when she calmly announced that she wasn't coming with us.

<i>I swallowed a groan and turned to stare her down. To my surprise, she stared back at me, one eyebrow raised in cool defiance.

"What are you talking about?" I bit out, feigning shock. My bored voice reached my ears - somehow, I don't think it worked.

"You know what I'm talking about, Michael." Her tone was surprisingly even, and the volume alone caught me off guard. Quiet, steady. "I can't be here anymore. I don't belong here." She paused, and pain flashed briefly across her face. "Maybe I never did."

Suddenly anxious to get to the point, I asked her a simple question. "Where?"

"NYC, babe. I'm going back to my old stomping grounds. Oddly enough, Billy and Sean are living together. I'm gonna stay with them until I get a place of my own." Her eyes caught mine as she mentioned her ex, searching for something. I smirked back at her before she looked away. </i>And 3, 2, 1...<i>

"Maria, you know that's not possible." And </i>there<i> was the royal decree. "We can't have person to person contact with anyone from our lives back home. There are too many factors to consider, too many things that can go wrong." Max was talking to the ground, not even looking in Maria's direction, and his words were slow, measured, like he was speaking to a small child. Unconsciously I took a step back, bracing myself for the torrent to come.

A minute later, silence still hung in the air.

When Maria finally spoke, it was in the same condescending tone Max had used. "I'm not an alien. I have no powers. And I have no idea what I'm doing living in a van with five people I don't even know anymore." She stopped, and shivered a bit in the wind. "Even if the FBI was still watching my delinquent cousin and vagrant ex-boyfriend, which I highly doubt, what would they want with me? I'm no good to them, just like I'm no good to you."

"You knew the risks when you left, Maria. You knew what you'd be giving up, what we were all giving up!" He was looking at her now, alright. His eyes were dancing with rage.

Maria didn't flinch, but he'd fanned the flame lying dormant. When it came to yelling, Maria gave as good as she got. "Some things just aren't worth it anymore!" she shot back. "God, when was the last time I even talked to you, Max? When was the last time we even spoke to each other, other than 'Hey' or 'Night' or 'Your turn to drive'? Was </i>this<i> what I chose to leave my home for? We've all changed, and you know it. But the thing is, even in the hellhole this has turned out to be, every one of you still has a place. I don't. And I'm leaving."

"Maria - " Max warned.

I cut him off. "Maxwell. She doesn't need permission from you."

Liz suddenly stepped forward and laid her hand on Maria's arm. "Are you sure about this?" Her tone was chillingly indifferent, as if she didn't care either way. But her eyes met Maria's with a pleading gaze. Maria nodded quickly, then choked out a garbled "Yes." Liz searched her eyes again, then pulled her into a hug. She clutched tightly to the bigger blonde, and her whispered words caught the wind and drifted over to me.

"Be happy."

-----

The goodbyes were brief. Kyle tried to send her off with parting words from Buddha, but Isabel shot him a glare that would have killed the fat man himself. Max had left the campsite, fuming, and after a brief hug, Isabel went off to find him. Liz, having said what she wanted to say, was calmly sitting in the grass, looking into the ashes of our last fire as a sextet. </i>And the symbolism runs rampant<i>.

Maria and I were sitting in the van, doors flung open, letting in the breeze. She was strangely silent, waiting for me to say my piece.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"Did you just ask me that?" She stopped, giving me a Deluca-patented incredulous look. "Anything's better than this, Michael."

"Yeah..." I trailed off.

"You could leave too, you know." My head shot up at her words, eyes wide. "Not with me, Spaceboy. I was speaking in more general terms."

"You know I can't do that, Maria."

"Why? Because of some loyalty to Max? That was another planet. You were another </i>person<i>. And I use the term loosely." She laughed then, actually laughed, and I marveled at how easy it came. I wanted to smile back at her, let her know that it was okay, but my mind must have jumbled the signals. Instead, I looked out over the campsite, narrowing my gaze against the wind, and brushed her comments aside. After a few minutes, I looked back at her, smirk firmly in place.

"Take care of yourself, okay? I don't want to find you singing on a street corner in the distant future." I expected the laugh to come again, but she frowned and hung her head.

"We're never going to see each other again, are we?" She paused and blinked back tears. "I mean, I'm never going to see any of you again. Ever."

I shrugged, leaning back on my hands. "Future's not certain."

"I'm not harboring delusions of love lost here, Spaceboy. We've been over for awhile. But I never thought that this might be the last time I see you. Or Liz. God, I've always had Liz. She's always had me. Even after Alex... We still had each other. She's why I came..."

"Ouch. And here I thought I was special."

She did laugh then. "You were." She laid her palm over my hand before she spoke again. "And you can be special again, to someone else, the right person's out there for you. Are you gonna give that up to stay </i>here<i>?" She swung her free arm around the van in disgust.

"I've got loyalties that are more important than Max," I said softly. "Isabel needs me, Kyle, Liz... Somebody's gotta look out for them while the boy king is on a yellow brick quest for his subjects."

"I'm just putting it out there, Michael. You've got choices."

"Really?" I scoffed. "When did that happen?"

"Michael - "

Suddenly Max came stalking out of the brush, Isabel close on his heels. Her eyes were red, puffy, and I leaned forward and clenched my fists in frustration. "We're leaving," he announced. "Those of us who are still loyal, anyway."

Rolling her eyes, Maria stood and extended her hands, and I let her pull me upright. Immediately, she launched herself into me, latching on to my shirt. But no tears came, we'd shed them all on the open road, along with the last pieces of our relationship. She raised her head and mumbled into my shoulder.

"What was that?"

Eyes laughing, she pulled back. "I said, live long and prosper, Spaceboy." I smiled down at her, thrilled that one of us was getting out, and placed a firm kiss on her forehead before gently pushing her away. She turned smoothly, without a backward glance, slinging her bag casually over her shoulder as she walked away. Turning back to the van, I was still smiling.

"Okay, who had March?"</i>


<i>Hush now
I see a light in the sky
It's almost blinding me
Let it shatter the walls
For a new sun
A new day has come...</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

<b>CHAPTER TWO » </b><i>Underneath It All</i>


We packed up and left, no one searching out the window for Maria on the wide path that led out of the campground. Hours later, Max was glowering behind the wheel - he'd been silent since the order to move, and I still had no idea where we were off to. He'd shoot me the occasional dirty look by way of the rearview mirror, and then go back to sulking. After the fourth I snorted hard and stopped watching.

Isabel was sitting near the back, leaning on a sleeping Kyle and fixing the frays and tears in the carpet. Willingly.

<i>Oh, how the mighty have fallen.</i>

Kyle had been sleeping a little too peacefully, thanks to his pool win and new absence from the driver's seat.

After a few minutes, I glanced over at Liz. She'd chosen to forego the passenger seat, I assumed as some kind of act of defiance. They'd been few and far between lately, I wasn't sure what one looked like anymore. I focused on her, trying to make her aware that I was blatantly staring, but she kept her eyes on her hands. She was off in her own little world. <i>Probably missing Maria.</i> It was the easy way out, of course, and I knew it wasn't the whole truth. Even their relationship had changed. Sometime over the last year and a half, she'd become Maria's one woman support system. I couldn't recall a single time when the two of them were huddled together with Liz doing the talking. She'd just nod, periodically rub Maria's arm, smile or frown if the occasion called for it, and listen intently.

If Maria had nothing to say, they didn't talk at all.

No, this was Liz now. Staring silently at some unseen object in the distance, a look of concentration plastered on her face.

I would have believed she was actually thinking if her eyes hadn't been so empty.

It was almost a gradual change. Another mile on the odometer, another layer of glass over her eyes. Until they looked like shadows of the soulful orbs they used to be, now big pools of muddy brown that bled into nothingness.

There was a time when it would have intrigued me to see Liz Parker sitting quietly, biting her lip, staring at nothing at all. It meant the wheels were turning. Trying to figure out some problem, solve some complicated riddle. Now... it just meant she was fading.

-----

So now we've stopped. Again. I'm hungry, I'm groggy, and I have no idea where the hell we are. Isabel asked after that first night. "West" was the only answer we could get out of his highness.

On the plus side, I get to stretch out in Maria's vacant space now. A small victory, but hey, gotta roll with the punches.

Once the brakes stopped wreaking havoc on my eardrums, I rolled into a sitting position and groaned loudly.

"Is that the wake up call, Fabio?" Kyle's voice was muffled, almost a squeak.

"Quiet, Midget. You're not allowed to speak until you're back on the steering squad."

"Both of you shut up, some of us are still trying to sleep here!"

"Actually, Princess, we're arguing, El Presidente has stepped out, and Liz has been awake for hours. So technically, you're the only one still trying to sleep."

"<i>Shut up!</i>"

Isabel's shriek echoed through the van, and Liz jumped at the sound. Frowning slightly, I raked my eyes over her. She was curled up in the corner, lying on her side with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were open, empty, looking through me.

She still hadn't said a word.

-----

I climbed out of the van, pulling a worn sweater over my head, and took in the surroundings. We were in a small clearing, surrounded by dense trees. There was a sparkling lake just below us and a shelter with restrooms to the west. "Not bad, Maxwell," I mumbled.

Kyle stumbled out of the van behind me, whistling as he looked around. "Ah, very nice. Buffalo was like a Motel 6. This is closer to the Holiday Inn. Not luxury, but less chance of finding roaches in the john."

Sometimes I wonder how Kyle's brain hasn't ceased to function.

"Do you see Max anywhere?"

"Nah, maybe he headed out to the shelter. I should be heading that way myself, I've gotta piss like a racehorse."

"And you're about the right height for a jockey."

"Funny, Guerin. That one was a little too easy." He started to back away.

I shrugged, unfazed. "Sometimes you've gotta stoop." Pausing, a slow smirk crossed my face. "No, wait, I guess you don't, do you?"

"Laugh it up, Ludo, you're a riot," he called out, turning towards the shelter.

I turned back toward the van, smiling a bit. <i>Some things never change.</i> Ducking my head inside, I could see Isabel now sprawled out over the floor, softly mumbling to herself. Turning my head, I braced myself for another encounter with Liz's vacant eyes, only to discover that the small space she'd occupied was empty. Whipping around, my eyes frantically searched the area.

She was standing by the edge of the water, a tattered blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and I wondered how she'd slipped from the van unnoticed. I was content to stand there, watching her from a distance, hoping she didn't throw herself in.

Imagine my surprise when my legs started to move.

I stopped a few feet behind her and stood, wordlessly, eyes locked on the back of her head. She didn't acknowledge me, though I'm sure she knew I was there - Docs trekking single-mindedly through grass and gravel is a sound that tends to carry. After awhile I stepped toward her, close enough to reach my hand out to her shoulder. The touch was quick at first, as if she could shock me if my hand rested to long. When she didn't jerk away, I wrapped my fingers around her collarbone and took another step forward. Silently, she curled up her arm and laid her hand over mine.

She was warm. I wasn't expecting it, not with the eyes and the silence and the whips of wind coming off the lake. But her skin against mine was insulating, and I almost jumped back at the contact.

"Are you okay?" She released the words slowly, still gazing into the water's dark depths. Suddenly my mouth and brain weren't connected anymore, my vocal chords had abandoned ship, and my lips were moving of their own accord, silently. <i>Jesus, she's asking if</i> I'm <i>okay? Isn't that my line?</i>

I cleared my throat and tried to answer again, knowing that the timing was crucial on sarcastic quips and witty comebacks, but still couldn't bring myself to say anything coherent.

A small squeak left my lips, and I silently cursed her for putting me here, right here, searching for the perfect words to say to her, when I shouldn't have given a damn. She squeezed my hand then, and I found my tongue.

"That's a loaded question. I could ask you the same." I expected more silence, maybe a little nod or shake of the head.

Instead, she raised her head, turning to look at me, and her eyes flashed with a million different emotions. The glass was gone, the veil lifted, and she stared me down, hand over mine, heart in her eyes.

The connection crackled between us, new but somehow familiar, and I was assaulted by her presence. Not images, but feelings. They bombarded my senses, until all I could hear was her even breathing, all I could smell was the old wool of the blanket, mixing with the vanilla tones where her hair met the fabric, all I could see were the flecks of fiery gold in the warm brown of her eyes. Colors I thought were long gone. And through it all, I could feel her soft skin on the back of my hand, coaxing the connection through our joined body heat.

Her emotions were dancing around me in different rhythms, and I couldn't make out any one of them clearly. There were too many, and she was torn in every direction possible. I got fleeting waves of loneliness, guilt, regret as the connection grew stronger, more vibrant, and then one stopped the whole procession.

Happiness.

It was small, barely a whisper over the dull roar of the others, but it was there. She was happy that Maria had left. There was no malice in it, no bitterness, no jealousy. It was just a tiny twinkle of pure joy. And she was keeping it safe, close to her heart, almost urging it to grow.

With a small squeeze, her hand fell away, and I stood there in shock, wondering how much time had gone by. Slowly, I made my way around to stand in front of her, my hand never losing contact with her shoulder.

Lifting my free hand, I planted a finger underneath her chin and raised her eyes to mine. Chocolate swirls gazed back at me, bottomless, endless, shining in the early light of day. And I could see her behind them, struggling for the surface, not content to drown in herself anymore.

I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I'd been holding, and released her head. She didn't look back down, just held my gaze evenly. And then she smiled. It was small, crooked, but not broken, and something in my chest leapt in victory.

Suddenly I couldn't resist smirking down at her.

"Glad we had this talk, Parker."


<i>You see the colors in me like no one else
And behind your dark glasses you’re
You’re something else
You’re really lovely
Underneath it all…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

<b>CHAPTER THREE » </b><i>What If It All Means Something</i>


<i>What the hell was that? What just happened here?</i>

My thoughts were racing, and I didn't ask if she wanted me to stay. Some panicked part of me felt the need to get as far away from Liz Parker as possible. The other part, the half that wanted to reach out and shake her and make sure that she was still alive, was battling for dominance. Two little Michael-shaped devils in my head, duking it out. Angels were long gone.

I looked into her eyes once more, the color taunting me with its rediscovered warmth, and let the demon that wanted to flee beat his counterpart senseless.

Projecting nonchalance, smirk ever present, I gave her a little wink and stalked back toward the van. When her voice stopped me, I was surprised.

Not that she had spoken, that I had actually stopped.

"Michael?" My name was like a plea on her lips.

"Yeah," I answered, without turning.

"You can come back if you need to talk."

She let her words hang in the air and settle over me, while I contemplated laughing out loud.

And then, surprising myself once again, I spun and walked briskly back to her, taking her hand in mine and easing her to the ground with me. We sat there for what seemed like an eternity, and may have only been a few seconds, before I said anything.

"I'm fine." I meant the words to be steely and resolved, but they sounded empty.

She squinted at me, her nose scrunching in mock concentration, and laughed. Unconsciously, I clenched her hand in mine, and stared at her with unblinking eyes.

It wasn't like Maria's laugh days before, a laugh of careless freedom that only she could summon now. Liz's was precise, knowing, measured to find the weakness in my heart she somehow knew was there. She caught my eyes, and I braced myself for another flood of emotion. The connection never came, but something in her eyes was speaking to me, almost soothingly.

Then she turned her head abruptly, still curling her fingers in my palm, and I was left to wonder, during the earlier emotional Mardi Gras, what she'd seen inside of me.

-----

Kyle found us that way two hours later, and he looked at me strangely before announcing that Max was looking for us. Liz and I shared a look, and we both knew, without speaking, that we were expected to go to him, not the other way around.

Standing, I hoisted Liz off the ground, one hand still tangled gently in hers. Kyle shot up one eyebrow, then seemed to shake it off as he took Liz in. She smiled slightly at him, then set off for the van with me in tow. I turned my head and shot him a look that clearly said <i>"Don't ask me, I'm just as confused as you,"</i> snorting as he shrugged and ran to catch up.

Max had planted himself at a picnic table, roadmaps covering every inch of the surface. He barely glanced up as we approached. Isabel was sitting cross-legged in the grass, almost at Max's feet, violently tearing the crusts off a PBJ. My stomach protested loudly, and Liz let another laugh slip past her lips. Isabel looked up sharply, as if the sound had startled her, and I could see Kyle out of the corner of my eye, turning toward Liz and cocking his head to one side. Isabel noticed our joined hands then, we still hadn't let go, and I could feel the coldness in her glare battle the warmth that had spread up the tips of my intertwined fingers and into my arm.

In true Stonewall fashion, I started to drop her hand like a hot potato. Then I felt her fingertips gently dig in to my skin, almost urging me to stay with her, and I grasped her small hand firmly in my much larger one and turned back to Max.

I reached up to absently scratch my eyebrow and ground out words. "So are we gonna find out where we are anytime soon, Maxwell, or are you suddenly Carmen Sandiego?"

"Hey, I used to <i>love</i> that show! What was the group that sang..." Kyle trailed off, turning a fierce shade of red.

Max still didn't look up, immersed in the notes before him. "Ohio," he said flatly.

I blinked. "That's it?"

"What else do you want to know, Michael?"

"I don't know, a little insight into all of our immediate futures would be nice! Is 'Ohio' where we are or where we're going? Are we staying here? Is this a pit stop, what?"

I cut myself off when Liz flinched next to me. <i>Wow, my voice goes from zero to sixty in half a second.</i>

She wrapped her other hand around mine, making a cocoon with her tiny fingers, and began to stroke the space between my thumb and forefinger. I stared at the ground, drawing even breaths, trying to absorb the calming vibes she was shooting my way. Once my pulse had slowed a bit, I opened my mouth again.

"You still haven't answered me, Maxwell."

The only reply was the sound of his pencil frantically jotting lines across the page. I pinched the bridge of my nose, hard, and tried to wait patiently.

A few minutes later, as I raked a less-than-steady hand through my hair, I was still waiting. I tried to close my fists, on instinct, and found Liz's hands still holding one of mine. And just when I opened my mouth to yell again, before I slammed some sense into Max using the picnic table as a teaching aide, Liz spoke.

"Max," she said firmly. He looked up then, unwilling to ignore her, but somehow I doubt he caught the tone of her voice. "We have no control whatsoever here, and we don't know where we're going to end up when all this is done. The least you can do is let us know where we are, and how long we're going to be here." Kyle's jaw fell slack, and Isabel stared blankly at the tiny brunette in front of her.

It was the most she'd said in months.

She was trembling slightly, not enough to be visible, just enough to be felt, and I pressed one of her hands reassuringly with my thumb, keeping the pressure constant until the shaking had stopped.

Max was quiet for a moment, just staring at her. I kept waiting for her to look away, to drop my hand and run for the shelter of the van, crawling back into her corner, but she kept her eyes trained on him. He looked flustered, and I could see his jaw work before he started to speak again. "We're not too far from the border, headed west. It's as good a spot as any - I think we should stay here for a bit, a week or two, and build our resources. Try to find some temporary work, make some money, and get the van checked out."

"Now, was that so hard?" I wondered aloud. Max shot me a look, then went back to his maps.

It was just like Maxwell to think the question had been for him.

-----

As always, we drew straws to delegate who set up camp.

"Dammit!" Kyle looked disgusted as he pulled a straw from my hand.

"Tough break, Small Fry. Always coming up short." He glared at me and started to spit out a comeback, but Isabel shoved him to the side and made a grab for the next straw. Holding it up, I saw that it was even shorter than Kyle's.

She threw it on the ground and stalked away. "Whatever."

"Okay then, Liz and I are heading into town to pick up supplies. Is everything out of the van?" Kyle nodded in response. "Tell the royal pain in my ass that we'll be back pronto."

Liz always sat this part out, taking whatever straw was last. Max wasn't in on the draw, never was. There were more important things to do - routing, mapping, creating a schedule... No, he left the grunt work to his commoners. Shaking my head, I started off toward the van, before abruptly turning in the other direction and jogging back to Kyle.

"Hey," I called out as I caught up with him. "Iz has been weird lately."

He blew hard from his mouth. "Weirder than usual?"

"Yeah, you know, she's quieter. Colder. You haven't noticed?"

"She's the Ice Queen. Isn't that the front she always put up?" He frowned. "Does it get any colder?"

"Just keep an eye on her, alright? Something's not right."

Kyle's lips met in a firm line, and then he looked over at me. "Could it have anything to do with the fact that she got moodier the closer we got to Boston? That she keeps rubbing her finger, like she's twisting a ring that isn't there? That she hasn't mentioned Jesse in the last two calls back home?" He scowled. "I've <i>been</i> watching her, man! That's all I do." His last words were swallowed, and I almost didn't hear them.

I stood there for a second, frozen, not believing that I had missed all the obvious signs. Cursing myself for being so damn preoccupied. Then I spun away from him, walking quickly, calling back, "See you in a few."

-----

Liz and I drove into town silently, watching the afternoon sun highlight the bleak surroundings. Buildings were crumbling, and the streets were narrow, with no lane lines gracing the surface of the asphalt. It was one of the most depressing things I'd ever seen.

We found a small grocery store and slid out of the van, happy to be out of such close quarters. Once inside, we commenced with business as usual. Grabbing the essentials - bread, peanut butter, fruit, cereal - and pitching them into the small basket. We worked silently, but in tandem, having established a routine dozens of towns ago. After paying for our purchases, we left the store without saying a word to each other.

We made our usual stops - got a paper, filled the gas can, checked the streets and alleyways for the quickest escape route from any direction. Pulling up at a red light, I stole a glance at her. After everything that had happened today, the silence began to feel out of place, and I spoke.

"Hungry?"

"Starved."

<i>Aaaaand we're back to one word answers.</i>

I rolled my eyes and looked over at her again, only to find her looking back at me, a sly grin on her face.

"What's the smile for?"

She shrugged. "I was just wondering how long it would take you to actually <i>say something.</i>”

"I'm not exactly the world's greatest conversationalist, Parker."

"True," she agreed, too quickly, and I growled. And then she turned back to me, eyes almost as soft as her voice. "But you're the only one I seem to be able to talk to."

<i>Well damn, what do I say to that?</i> "Uh... thanks," I mumbled, and turned my attention back to the road. Up ahead, there was a lit sign, and a few people were milling around the sidewalk. Pulling the van over, I cut off the engine and got out.

"Michael? What are we doing?" She was still perched in her seat, so I walked around and opened her door.

"Executive decision."

-----

We left the van behind and took a walk down the main drag, clutching at our coffee. Every now and then, I'd look down at her, but she kept walking, eyes straight ahead, hair falling in a dark veil around her face. After a few minutes, one side of the street opened up into a small park, and I grabbed her elbow and led her quickly to a bench. As soon as we settled in, I issued the order.

"Talk."

"What?" I'd caught her off guard.

"I didn't stutter." And she didn't reply. After a minute, I took a long sip of my coffee and asked her the question I'd been wondering all day. "What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not..." she stammered, before I cut her off with a knowing look.

"Fine, you want me to talk? Want me to answer your question? Hmmm?" She was talking faster with every jumbled word, and her voice was rising.

"I'm afraid of costing any of you anything else. Look at Maria. She spent almost two years on the run out here, and she was absolutely nothing to show for it. She can't go home, she can't go back to her life, and she's gotta start all over again, on her own. God, we didn't even give her a ride out of camp! Isabel can't be with her husband, Kyle can't be with his dad, my parents are worried sick... We've all had to give up <i>everything</i> because of me. So I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I stayed quiet, everybody would just forget about me, and I wouldn't be the reason anything <i>else</i> goes horribly wrong!"

I took a second to blink after her outburst. "Parker, what the hell are you talking about?"

She collapsed against the back of the bench, looking weary and drained, coffee sloshing over the backs of her hands. I don't even think she felt it.

"None of us would be here if I'd died that day," she whispered. Even at a practically nonexistent volume, it was like a verbal slap.

I couldn't gather my thoughts fast enough to reply. I mean, what was I gonna do, deny it? Argue with her? Lie?

"I changed <i>everything.</i> I latched on to you, the three of you, and led them straight to you. I wrote everything down, everything. I didn't even stop after you stole the damn journal from me. I pushed Max to Tess, and now he's got a son he can't raise and Alex is... God, Michael, I put my bloody uniform in my <i>book bag.</i>"

She closed her eyes, looking for all the world like she was trying not to be sick. She choked out her next words. "I had a chance to fix it... And it still ended up <i>wrong</i>." Silent tears snaked down her face, making her eyes glassy and foggy again, and I had to stop myself from wiping them away.

Instead, I wrapped my fingers tightly around my cup, and told her the truth.

"I don't know where we'd be if all that hadn't happened. If Alex hadn't died. If you had." I paused, trying to find the right words. "I do know that that place we were in before you got shot was no better than here. We were constantly hiding, living in fear..." She shot me a look, and I continued quickly. "Yeah yeah, I know, that's exactly what's happening. But we didn't have anybody then, Liz."

Pausing, I looked away from her. "I was still with Hank... We didn't know anything about ourselves, who we were, where we came from... No matter what else saving your life did, it gave us that. And I happen to think it's worth it."

"Michael - "

I shook my head and looked at her again. "You're not listening to me. If you had died, Liz, what really would have changed for us? For me? Tess still would have come to town. Max probably would have knocked her up anyway, and then we'd have all gone on the fast track to Antar. You sure as hell wouldn't have been there to stop us from going back. We'd all be dead. You, me, Max, Isabel, maybe even Zan. I know this life isn’t all we'd hoped for, but I'll take it, knowing that at least my family is safe, over not breathing any day." Grabbing a napkin, I wiped furiously at her coffee-covered sleeves, wary of using my powers in public.

She was silent for awhile, and I could feel her watching me. Then she seemed to come to terms with what she wanted to say. "Michael - "

"Parker, if you argue with me on this, I'm going to gag you with this napkin."

She shook her head furiously, and I was a little entranced by the way her hair fanned around her, and then floated back to her shoulders as if it had never left. She tried again.

"It's not your fault, you know."

I frowned. "What isn't?"

"Me. Max." She paused, and looked down. "Isabel."

My hand dropped from her arms, and I wadded up the soaked paper and tossed it behind me. "I should have known."

"It's her marriage, Michael. It's not something you can protect her from. It's just... something she has to work out on her own."

I looked up at her, scowling, and before I could stop myself, ran my hand gently across her face, patting her skin dry with the edge of my sleeve.

"What do you know?" The gruffness of the words was a direct contrast to my actions, and I jerked my arm back into my lap. She gave me a long look, and one corner of her mouth turned ever so slightly upward.

"More than you think, Michael."

We discarded our cups and walked back to the van, silent once more, but our hands had found each other before we left the park.


<i>If I could fix everything for you
Believe me I would
It’s hard for me to know
Well maybe I should just let go
But what if it all means something…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

<b>CHAPTER FOUR » </b><i>Wherever You Will Go</i>


That's how it started. This weird bond with my ex-girlfriend's best friend, with my friend's ex-girlfriend, with my brother's <i>whatever</i>.

In the beginning, like that first exchange by the lake, words were few and far between. The towns, the camps, the seedy motels became a blur of odd jobs and mileage, and our conversations, strolling through empty streets with steaming cups of coffee, talking about everything and nothing, were how I distinguished one place from the next.

There was the small pantry in Geneva, where we sat on the curb in the early morning hours, absorbing the first few minutes of the caffeine rush. We played a little game of "what if?", inspired by a Harvard bumper sticker traveling in the opposite direction.

<i>"Do you still want that? School, career, the whole bit?"

She sighed, but the sound carried no emotion. "I want something... But I'm not sure if that's right for me anymore, you know? What I'm meant to do."

"Mmm." I curled my upper lip a little, and then turned to her. "Not meant for you and not possible right now are two different animals, Parker." She grimaced, caught, and I smirked. "I could </i>hear<i> the rehearsal. That the answer you practiced for Max?"

She looked evenly back at me and replied "Who said he even asks?" She held my gaze for briefly, and then faded back, her moment of renewed self-confidence gone. For the first time in awhile, we finished our coffee in silence.</i>

There was the open road along Route 20, when we'd stopped to camp out for a night, all too tired to drive. She found me that morning, drawing shapes in the ashes of the fire with my fingers. The ash coated my hands, and I longed for the days when I smudged charcoals across paper with my fingertips, creating every shade of gray you can imagine. Suddenly she was behind me, her slight frame hovering above me, and she watched me push the dry embers back and forth.

<i>"Is this what you'd be doing?"

I knew immediately what she meant, but decided not to play along. "Finger-painting with fire? I think not."

"Your art was beautiful, Michael. I don't think I ever told you that."

I closed my eyes, and my hand stopped moving. "I wouldn't have minded taking a class or two."

She smiled, that little half smile I now knew so well. "A class or two?"

"Yeah, no big deal."

"Michael, you're not fooling me."

I turned to her slowly. "Come again?" She sat down next to me, pulling my hand into her lap.

"</i>This<i> is the hand of an artist. Long fingers, tapered, graceful..." She trailed off, but didn't release my hand. "You see everything with an acute eye, no detail gets by unnoticed. You were a soldier, a general, you couldn't risk missing anything. It's genetically encoded in your DNA.”

She looked up and met my eyes. "You're like a sponge. You soak up everything around you, and memorize it down to the tiniest detail. I bet you even dream in technicolor."

A brief smile lit up her face. "You know, not meant for you to do and not possible right now are two different animals, Guerin." She raised an eyebrow, pushed my hand out of her lap, and started to back away.

"Smartass," I called out, wincing at having my own words turned back on me.</i>

Then there was the tiny cafe in Painesville. It was nearly midday, but the sky was gray and a light drizzle fell from above. It was one of the rare times we stayed inside for our little ritual. And it was there, in the building I could see reminded her of home, that I finally asked about Max.

<i>"He thinks everything's fine. I have a different opinion." She shrugged and swirled her coffee, speaking with cool indifference. "Since there are two separate entities on his side, Max and Max's ego, I'm outnumbered."

</i>Now there's the old Parker.<i> I fought hard to bite back a laugh, but she caught it anyway, looking up at me through her lashes and pinning me with a stare. Then, frowning, I actually processed what she'd said.

"So you're still with him why?"

She sighed heavily. "Max lives in his own little world, where every cloud has a silver lining and every story has a happy ending. He's Prince Charming, I'm the damsel in distress. He needs to believe in 'once upon a time' so that he can find his 'happily ever after'."

"Isn't that what you wanted? I seem to recall journal entry after entry where you swooned about soulmates and counting the seconds until the next time you'd meet again." The words were laced with more venom than I'd intended, and she gave me a sour look.

She played with the handle on her coffee mug for awhile, absently running a finger back and forth across the rim, and I shivered involuntarily. Then her small hand shot out to cover mine on the table.

"Michael... The day we connected, what did you see?" Her eyes searched mine, and I tried to quiet the roar that was starting in my head. </i>What the hell are you doing to me?<i> I slid lower in my chair, but didn't take my hand back. There was no connection made, but I swear, I could </i>feel<i> her.

I swallowed hard. "I didn't really see... It was... There was a lot happening there."

She smiled slightly, moving her hand back to her cup, and the beautiful noise in my head started to quiet. I pulled a hand through my hair and closed my eyes, exhaling slowly while I hung my head, my hand settling at the back of my neck. She seemed to sense my turmoil, and changed the subject a bit. Setting her cup softly on the table, she asked me a question.

"Did you know that I'm still a virgin?"

My head shot up quickly, and I could feel my face getting warm. "Uh... Can't say that I did," I stammered out.

She cocked an eyebrow up quickly, and leaned back. "Max and I came so close when I first started getting the flashes, and just after we found the orbs. And it scared me, but I was ready then. I loved him, and he loved me, and we were together in every other way possible, it just felt like the next natural step." She paused to calmly sip her coffee. "And then everything happened. Tess showed up, destiny was revealed, Alex died, the bitch got pregnant, you were all leaving... It felt like one big blur of pain. And after it was over, I was kind of... catatonic. Max was declaring his undying love before Tess had even left the planet, and before I knew it we were on this full-blown quest to find his son. I mean, I robbed a convenience store. </i>Me<i>."

After another long sip, she closed her eyes briefly and started again. "I wish I could take back so much of that last year. Max convinced himself that things were back to normal between us, and I just went along with it. Maybe things would be different."

She was silent for a few beats, and against my better judgment I blurted out a question. "What's any of that got to do with your virginity?" Again, my tone was a little harsher than the situation called for, but she didn't seem to notice.

"I was never ready again."

"What?"

Liz smiled slightly at my cluelessness. "Things change, Michael. The love that I had for Max died with Alex, with Tess. We're not supposed to be together. God, he </i>told<i> me that himself." She shook her head, and I narrowed my gaze at her.

</i>Max told her that? Where was I when hell froze over?<i>

"That was the dream of a different girl. He still thinks we're </i>soulmates<i>, that it's true love, and we don't even know each other anymore. I keep wondering why I kept playing along. I mean, think about it. If Max was just a normal guy, and he'd done the things he's done... He slept with someone else, he got her pregnant, he tried to </i>kill<i> me. No love in the world is strong enough to survive all that. He just can't see that."

She looked at me like she expected me to say something. "So if it's not love, what is it?"

She didn't hesitate at all. "Obligation."

Her tone was steady and sure, and I searched her eyes for any shred of doubt or dishonesty. She stared back at me intensely, as if she knew what I was doing. I tried to wrap my mind around what she was telling me. There were questions running laps in my head, trying to be the first to the finish line.

"So you left everything behind for a twisted sense of obligation to Maxwell." It was not a question, but a statement, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her anymore. It was almost painful to hold her gaze.

She laughed. It was brief, and quiet, and a little bitter, but she actually laughed at me. "That is </i>not<i> why I... I left for you, for Isabel, for Kyle and Maria."

"So exactly where does the obligation come in?"

When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet, almost childlike. "If he doesn't have me, what will he have left?"

I let out a puff of air, and some invisible hand tightened a vice over my chest. "And that's it. You're going to lay the rest of your life at Max's feet, so that he can go on believing that his is a fairy tale."

"He knows it's not a fairy tale, Michael. If anything, these last two years have taught him that. I'm just trying not to make it a nightmare." She looked up at me then, almost daring me to look away, and spoke so softly her lips barely moved.

"I've surrendered everything else. What difference does it make now?"

"It's your life!" I yelled, slamming my palm against the tabletop. She didn't flinch, but the small crowd in the diner collectively turned to look at me. I ignored them, standing up to tower over her, and bent close to her face, my hand still flat on the table. "You may have convinced yourself that this puppet routine is for Max, but all it's doing is giving you a good excuse to die a little at a time. Here's a newsflash, Parker - you're still breathing. Cut the strings already, this dance is getting old." I threw a few bills on the table and strode quickly out the door, leaving it rattling in its frame.

I made it halfway down the block before I turned and walked back. She was still sitting where I'd left her, looking down at the table. I jerked the door open and made my way past the chair I'd abandoned, planting my feet firmly before looking at her again.

She looked frail and broken, like she had for so many months, and my heart constricted at the thought of a relapse.

I crouched down next to the table, suddenly all too aware that my body was blocking out the light, leaving her darkened and muted. Slowly, I reached up a hand to cradle her face, brushing my thumb back and forth across her cheek. Her eyes were brimming with tears, but her skin was still dry, and she fought to blink them back.

"I'm not gonna apologize."

"I know." Her voice cracked on the two small words.

I brought my hand down and slipped it into one of hers, pulling her gently from the table. We walked slowly outside, and were almost at the edge of town, headed back toward camp, when she stopped walking.

My arm jerked back, and I turned around to shoot her a questioning look. The tears she had fought so hard had won the battle, and almost instantly she was quietly sobbing. I rubbed my thumb reassuringly across the back of her hand and urged her forward. She walked slowly toward me, stopping when her head met my chest, and I could feel her fingers clutching at my back. Before I knew it, my arms were wrapped around her, one hand cradling the back of her head.

"Hey," I said soothingly. "Sometimes the truth hurts."

I chuckled a little, and she held me tighter. My shirt had ridden up in the back, and one warm hand had made contact with my skin. I could feel her energy pressing into me, almost as solid as her body, seeping into every pore. The connection was more intense than the last, if only because there was one overwhelming emotion coming through loud and clear.

Fear.

She whispered against me, and I don't know if I heard the words or felt them.

"I can't be here without you, Michael."

I tightened the hand on her back, holding her closer, and mumbled my reply into her hair. "You won't have to."

The connection crashed into me then, and each wave of feeling had its own brilliant color. The endless rainbow encircled us, and I held her in a shimmering bubble of our own making, letting her thoughts and emotions become a part of me.

When we finally separated, each of us taking a small step back, the rainbow dissipated, and everything around me looked dull and lifeless. Everything but Liz. Her hair was shining in the emerging sun, and her skin glowed as if she was lit from within. Her eyes were bright and dancing, and the faintest hint of a smile caught the corners.

"Liz?" I broke the silence reluctantly, and she smiled wider.

"Yes, Michael."

"When we... what do you see?" My voice almost broke, and I had to look away from her.

Her hand stretched up and pushed my hair out of my face, and I turned back to her. She let her hand rest on my collar for a minute, then slid it down to tangle her fingers in mine. Taking a step, and pulling me along, she finally answered.

"You."</i>


<i>If a great wave shall fall
And fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?

If I could, then I would
I’ll go wherever you will go…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

A/N: Thanks for the feedback, everyone, I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the story. Asabetha, your question will be answered in a few chapters.

Courtney

-----

<b>CHAPTER FIVE » </b><i>Down So Long</i>


One night, a few weeks later and a couple towns over, Liz and I were coming back from another shift at another nameless, faceless bar. She was half-dressed, as usual, and we both smelled like beer and cigarette smoke, an acrid stench we’d bitterly deemed "the perfume of life." Nights like this, when we had to walk back, she'd go barefoot just to escape the heels, and I'd crack jokes even Kyle wasn't short enough to deserve.

We were almost back to the campsite when Isabel pulled me aside. I'd tried to talk to her a few times since my chat with Kyle, but she'd always blow me off.

Looking behind me, I caught the look on Liz's face - it screamed <i>"Don't worry about me, she needs you."</i> She smiled tiredly, and made her way over to sit next to Kyle by the fire. He was watching us, his expression set in worried concentration.

Turning back to Isabel, I caught her face in the dim light.

Saying she looked awful would be an understatement. She'd been losing weight since we left, her shoulder-length hair, blonde again, had lost its luster, and there were dark circles under her eyes that looked almost painful. Her lower lip was trembling, her breathing was erratic, and she was wringing her hands as if it hurt not to do so. <i>God, how did I let her get this bad?</i>

When she started pacing in and out of the bushes, I put my hands on her shoulders to quiet her.

"Iz, what's going on?"

She took a huge gulp of air and choked out her answer. "It's Jesse."

"Okay... what about Jesse?"

At that, she flung herself to the ground almost violently, landing Indian style and bending over her lap. She slowly started to rock, arms crossed at her midsection, and I lowered myself down on my knees, my hand on her back.

"I can't do this anymore," she sobbed.

"Iz, if you have to leave, then go," I said simply. "Nobody's gonna blame you."

Her head shot up, and she looked at me with wide, teary eyes. "It's not that." Her head was shaking rapidly, and I knew she had to be making herself dizzy, even parked on the ground. She sniffed. "Like he'd ever let me leave."

There was no need to clarify who "he" was.

"I don't want to leave, Michael. There's been too much of that already, it wouldn't do any good. I just..."

"What, Iz?"

She sobbed, and I pressed my palm against along her spine, waiting for her to continue. "I can't go back, Michael. I can't go back to Jesse. Ever."

My head was reeling, and I needed her to clarify. "Explain."

She slid her arm harshly across her face and started to ramble. "We've been out here so long that everything just got confused, jumbled. I just feel like I'm <i>disappearing</i>, you know? Like ceasing to be. And I tried to think about who I was, and get back to that, but I didn't like myself, Michael. I was shallow and empty and that started to change when Alex and I got close, but then he was gone and I was <i>lost</i> again.

“It wasn't just trying to figure out if I would become Vilandra, do the things she did... It was knowing that I was probably already on my way. I threw myself into this relationship, and it was something <i>else</i> I had to hide. I didn't even tell my parents about him until right before we got married." She closed her eyes and stopped for oxygen. "I still think about those dreams we had, when Tess first came to town. How happy I was... Marrying Jesse was my way of trying to find a piece of that in reality, to have something <i>normal</i> for once in my damn life. But I can't go back to that, I wouldn't even know how."

She inhaled wearily and looked up at me, and my heart broke at the look in her eyes. "There's nothing in my life that didn't start out as a lie, nothing. Everyone else is running away from the FBI, from our enemies... I'm running from <i>myself</i>, Michael. And I can't get away, no matter what I do."

I looked around blindly, torn between being angry at her for staying silent for so long, and happy that she'd finally opened up. Shaking myself a bit, I drew her into my arms and let her cry against my shoulder, trying to figure out a way to save us all from this mess.

-----

When she'd finally quieted down, I walked her back to the fire and settled her into her sleeping bag. She drew in a shaky breath and rolled over on her side, her back to me, clutching the fabric around her. I stood and looked around, taking in the rest of the camp.

Max was breathing deeply, evenly, but even in sleep his face bore a mask of mild frustration, his head jerking slightly every now and then. Kyle was sprawled on the ground as well, staring straight up at the dark canopy above him. Liz was sitting in a ball on the edge of her bag, looking worried and exhausted and a million other things.

She glanced up briefly, and I raised my eyebrows and shoulders in tandem, my mouth hanging open, clearly at a loss. She lowered the rest of her body to the ground, resting her head on her arms, and I began to ready myself for bed.

A few hours later I stirred. The sky was still dark, and I was hearing voices. Turning my head and letting my vision clear, I let my eyes follow the sound.

Kyle was sitting next to Isabel's sleeping bag, her head resting in his lap. I strained to hear the exchange.

"It'll be okay, Princess."

"How?" she mumbled.

"Well, I could rack my brain for an appropriate quote from the big guy."

She giggled, and then her hand flew to her mouth to stop herself. It was a sound I hadn't heard in a very long time.

Kyle looked up at the heavens again, softly stroking her hair. "Just trust me. Trust us all. We're you're family, Iz. We know you inside and out." He looked back down at her. "Maybe that's what's scaring you. But it doesn't scare us." He tilted her head to the side, making her look up at him. "It doesn't scare me. And I've experienced your Christmas Nazi techniques firsthand. If that doesn't do it, nothing will."

She giggled again, briefly, but this time she let the notes fade into the night. They didn't say anything else, but he stayed with her, gently rubbing her head, and after watching her at peace for the first time in ages, I drifted off.

-----

I woke early the next day, spending a few minutes just enjoying the peace the rising sun brings. When I stood up to stretch, my head instinctively turned over to Isabel. Kyle was still next to her, nothing between him and the grass, and her head was propped up on his bicep, his hand resting on her shoulder blade.

My gaze was still fixed on them when Max made his way over to stand at my side. He had risen earlier than usual, and I remembered then that he'd found a temp position with a local packing company.

"Is she okay?" His tone was clipped, preoccupied, and I fought the urge to deck him.

"Nope."

"She just needs some time."

I turned to him and scowled. "It's been two years, Maxwell. How much more time does she need? When are you gonna wake up and realize that's <i>something's</i> got to change here?"

He ignored my outburst, turning to walk over to where Liz still slept. He bent down, left hand and right knee in the grass, and kissed her forehead. She flinched, then settled back to sleep. He rose, burying his hands in his pockets, and set out in the opposite direction.

"I'm gonna walk it, the van's all yours."

-----

By the middle of the summer, we had worked our way through Ohio and into Indiana. Work was steady, tips were good, and we'd managed to save more money than usual. Liz and I were still working the bar scene, but surprisingly, Isabel had joined us on the last few stops. She was a natural, all coy looks and brilliant smiles, and I started seeing glimpses of the happy girl I once knew. Kyle stuck to auto shops and towing companies, and his efforts pulled in the most cash.

He still slept next to her.

They started a routine that resembled the pattern Liz and I had fallen into. Long walks, talking late into the night, early mornings in town with steaming cups of coffee. Sometimes they joined us, and we were a unit again, sitting in a cracked booth at the local dive, swapping stories and telling jokes. Only Max seemed oblivious, on the outside looking in.

After years of pain, rejection, loneliness, the wall I'd built could battle with any one of the great wonders of the world and still be in one piece once the dust had cleared. It had been standing so long that even I thought it was impenetrable. I had no reason not to.

But I could feel something inside of me slowly changing, shifting gradually. Every time Liz and I connected, I let the warm peace of our joined energy settle around me. Once she was gone, I took inventory, making sure every stone was still in place. It was like being two people - one eager to share with her, to milk her of every emotion, and the other desperate to keep my heart, not to mention my sanity, to myself.

Then, one sweltering July day just outside Hammond, a small step from Illinois, there was an earthquake.

I returned to the van after a short pit stop, and found it empty. Assuming the others wanted to relish the last few gulps of fresh air before breathing each other in for another hundred miles, I climbed in and reached for my bag.

There, balanced precariously on top of the duffel, was a flat package wrapped in a brown paper bag. My name was scrawled beautifully on the surface, almost reverently, the delicate script battling with the rough texture. For a moment I hesitated to even touch it, afraid it was a mirage created by the steel prison of the van's four walls.

I reached for it slowly, and as my fingers made contact, my brain tingled and I got a quick rush of emotion, the air crackling bright blue. I smiled in spite of myself. <i>Liz.</i>

Unwrapping it quickly, my hands tightened on the revealed gift.

It was a large bristol sketchpad, wire bound, and a single 2B pencil was taped to the front. I flipped open the cover, anxious to feel the paper on my fingertips, and my eyes met her script again.

<i>Anything is possible. L.</i>

I stared at the inscription, and the words began to blur, becoming a dark smudge on the light surface. I closed the book before the single salty drop that fell could mar the paper.

Screwing my eyes shut, I searched the wall again, finding no fault lines anywhere. It still stood, tall and proud, guarding my heart ferociously. But slipping around the corner, I caught a flash of dark hair, and I was shocked to find that beyond my stone wall, the other three sides of the massive fortress I'd built were made of nothing but glass.


<i>I’m a thousand miles from anywhere
But I’ve been down so long
It can’t be longer still
I’ve been down so long
That the end must be drawing near…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

A/N: Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

-----

<b>CHAPTER SIX » </b><i>Breakable</i>


The back of my hand wiped furiously at my eyes, and I stumbled blindly from the van, desperate for air. The sketchbook lay abandoned on the carpeted floor, half hidden by my bag. Familiar laughter approached, and I struggled to regain my balance before she could reach me.

When I opened my eyes, Liz, Kyle and Isabel stood before me, Liz's hand reaching out.

"Here, Cherry Coke. They didn’t have any Snapple."

I took the cup from her with a shaky hand, carefully avoiding contact with her skin, and she gave me a long look before hoisting herself into the van, Isabel on her heels.

"We found this tattoo parlor, and I swear to Buddha, it was like some twisted Animal Planet. This guy had <i>tigers</i>... Hey, man, you okay?"

Mutely, I nodded at Kyle. He continued to stare at me, one eyebrow slightly furrowed, and I shot him a quelling look. He backed away, his hands in the air.

"Just checking, Sasquatch. You look funnier than usual."

I couldn't even think of a comeback.

"Where's Max?"

"He was still at the payphone when we left. He's all bent out of shape about Maria, said something about getting more updates from my Dad." He shrugged. "Don't know why he didn't talk to him after I did. Dad said that everything's still fine."

I nodded, and he climbed inside, planting himself next to Isabel. She and Liz were happily chatting, Liz's hand on Isabel's leg, obviously still on a phone home high. I turned back to the street, squinting through the sharp sunlight, and Max jogged up to the van.

"Everything cool?"

Max looked over at me, then looked away again. "Yeah."

"Fine. I'm driving."

-----

We crossed the state line uneventfully, one more landmass behind us. Adjusting the rearview mirror, I glanced nervously at the group settled behind me. Kyle had nodded off, his head on Isabel's shoulder, and the two girls were speaking in hushed tones, trying not to wake him. I could feel Max watching me from the passenger seat.

"You seem a little on edge, Michael."

I pursed my lips, trying not to lash out at him and disturb the peaceful scene in the back. "That's not new."

He turned away, looking out the window, and plastered on a smirk that rivaled mine. It taunted me from the side mirror.

"No, I guess not."

Isabel laughed loudly then, almost snorting, and Kyle jerked awake. "Where the hell are we?" he mumbled groggily.

Max glanced down at the map in his lap. "Uh, Calumet City."

Checking the rearview mirror, I caught Kyle's grimace. "Isn't that where the pervert from <i>Silence of the Lambs</i> made his girly suit?"

I chuckled. "Nope, somewhere in Ohio, but I think we've been through there, too." I glanced over at Max, willing him to beam back from the Land of the Eternally Clueless and join the conversation.

He looked back out the window, Kyle snuggled against Isabel again, and we drove in silence.

-----

A few hours later, we stopped to refuel. Max was filling the tank, and Isabel dragged Kyle into the station's mini mart to stock up on snacks. I was coming out of the bathroom when Liz ambled up to me, watching me carefully.

"Hey," I started.

She smiled. "Hey yourself."

"Um, I didn't get a chance to say anything back there." I stopped and took a deep breath. "That was, you know, thoughtful of you."

Laughing, she crossed her arms. "I believe the word you're looking for is 'thanks'."

Warmth crept up my neck. "Yeah, that would be the one." I cleared my throat. "Was there any... reason?"

"I can't just get you a gift out of the kindness of my heart?" My face went blank, and she giggled at me. "Well, it occurred to me that I don't actually know when your birthday is, and the crash was around this time, so... I just thought I'd celebrate the day you got here."

I had no idea how to respond to that.

She looked at me for a minute more, then made her way inside to join Isabel and Kyle.

<i>Was she</i> flirting <i>with me?</i> Confused, I walked back to the van. Max was closing up the tank.

"So where's the next stop? We doing the Chicago tourist thing?" I would have loved to see the Art Institute, but I wasn't serious in the least - we avoided big cities like the plague.

He smiled slightly. "Actually, we're gonna drive through for a bit. It's been awhile since we've done that, and I have a particular destination in mind."

<i>Well that's new.</i>

Nodding, I felt the others come up behind me, and soon we were on the road again.

-----

"Forget 'there's more than corn in Indiana', is Iowa one big <i>field</i>?" I chuckled at Kyle's outburst and took in the flats of land around us. Every now and then, a barn would pop up on the side of the road, a silo, a few cows, but it was mostly an endless sea of vegetation.

I was actually watching the scenery for once, waiting for something to catch my eye and give me a chance to break in my new toy. Kyle had spied it before we left Illinois, and it made for frustrating rest stop conversation.

<i>"So, where'd you get the diary?" He came up next to me, leaning against the railing outside the small building.

I growled. "Don't you have someplace to be? I think the lollipop gang is looking for you."

"Hey, the village is still missing their idiot, but I don't see </i>you<i> going anywhere."

I smirked and decided to amuse him. "Liz gave it to me." His eyebrows shot up immediately.

"</i>Really?<i>"

"Yes, Willow. Really."

He paused and looked around the deserted parking lot. "So, uh, what was the occasion?"

I shrugged. "Just a friendly gift."

"Guerin, I haven't slept in a bed in almost a month. We do grunt work for a living. And we are traveling cross-country in a van that's only in one piece thanks to some </i>serious<i> alien mojo. There are no friendly gifts, we can't afford the luxury."

"It's nothing, alright!" I snapped.

He smiled knowingly. "Yeah, that's what I thought."</i>

-----

We were camped out for the first time in three days, the return to 24/7 driving rotation taking its toll on us all. I was sitting a little ways from the campsite, sketchbook under my bent legs, trying to find some inspiration.

"Not a lot to Nebraska, is there?"

"Are you grading on a curve, Iz?" She plopped down next to me and looped her arm in mine.

"So..."

I looked over at her. "Spit it out, Isabel."

"Jesse and I are getting a divorce."

<i>Talk about out of left field...</i> My eyebrows shot into my forehead. "When did this happen?"

"Last phone stop." She met my gaze. "It's for the best. We've grown apart, we're not the same people we used to be." Suddenly, she found her shoes very interesting.

"And...?"

"He met someone," she said, her voice small.

I frowned. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. No." She sniffed. "It just... hurts a little, you know?" I nodded slightly. Her tone told me that she didn't want to talk about it.

"Did you tell Max?"

It was her turn to nod. "Yeah. Jesse's going to draw up the papers, and we're trying to find a way for me to get them."

"It's good that he found somebody. You did." I waited for her to snap at me, but the blow never came.

"I just don't know if I'm ready, Michael. I mean, there's a part of me that's still <i>seriously</i> warped."

Smirking, I spoke foolishly. "Well then you and the midget will get along just fine."

I didn't get away with that one - she reached up and hit me in the back of the head. I rubbed at my scalp, glaring at her. She pulled her arm in, tugging me to her side, and tapped a finger on my sketchbook.

"Still empty, isn't it? I could be wrong, but I don't think that's the reason she gave it to you."

<i>Damn Valenti and his big mouth.</i>

Blinking, I changed the subject. "Seriously, Iz... He's good for you."

She was quiet for a beat, and then mumbled softly, almost to herself.

"I know."

------

Max was mum about the plans, as usual, and we pressed on, back on a grueling driving schedule. We drove through Colorado, and as we made our way past the mountains, I tried to find some captivating peak or intriguing angle to capture on paper.

My book was still blank.

Max was at the wheel, and I had just come off the rotation. I was dog tired, but couldn't seem to get comfortable, and my restlessness was making me irritable. Flipping on to my other side for what seemed like the fiftieth time, I let out a frustrated growl.

Liz stirred next to me, her head at my feet, and I started to grind out an apology for waking her. The words caught in my throat when she snaked a hand inside my pant leg, resting her fingers on my ankle. The connection sprung to life, and I was surrounded by soft waves of soothing, muted pastels. They licked at my eyelids, urging them closed, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke, we were stopped at a rundown gas station, and I could see Liz and Isabel milling around outside. Max was at the pump again, and Kyle was sitting quietly behind me, looking amused.

"Was I seeing things, or did Liz have her hand up your pants?" I shot him a scowl, and his expression grew serious.

"You ever gonna do anything about this?"

Exasperated, I ran a hand over my face. "About what, Valenti?"

He shrugged. "She deserves to know is all. I mean it's not like she's <i>happy</i> with - "

I cut him off. "Shouldn't you be looking in the mirror for this?" He slumped back against the side of the van, looking away from me, and I tried to get back to sleep.

-----

Utah sucks. Next state, please.

We'd been driving for a couple hours since passing the border, and stopped for lunch at a small deli. Max wolfed down his food and went off in search of new maps, and the rest of us sat outside, eating in eerie silence.

Suddenly, Isabel jumped out of her chair, protesting loudly.

"Kyle, that's just gross. Now your backwash is contaminating my Coke."

"I don't have cooties," he shot back with a smile.

She scoffed. "I wouldn't know." The way she said the words... It almost seemed like she was hurt.

He seemed to understand the tone and, standing quickly, he grabbed her waist, reaching his arms around her, and kissed her soundly. My mouth hung open in shock, and, once he'd released her, so did Isabel's. Her hand shot up to cover her parted lips, and she stared at him with wide eyes.

After a minute, I got bored with the scene. "Oh come on, Iz, it couldn't have been <i>that</i> unexpected. You practically begged." Across the table, Liz tried to stifle a giggle.

Kyle spun on me quickly, jumping up and down a few times, arms flailing. It was the closest I'd ever seen a grown man come to a full-blown hissy fit.

"Could I just do this myself, please?!? For the love of Buddha and <i>all</i> that is holy!"

I sat back, hands raised in surrender, and an amused grin spread across my face. A snicker slipped past Liz's lips.

By the time he'd turned back around, Isabel had recovered. She stood stock still, watching him.

"Tell me."

"Uh... I'm sorry?" He looked back reluctantly at Liz and I, silently pleading for help.

I smirked, looking away. "Hey, you wanted to do this on your own." Liz's eyes were closed, her face frozen, and she was turning red from the effort of holding back her laughter.

Isabel slipped into full Ice Queen mode then, cocking one hip out, arms crossed over her chest, eyebrow raised, tone meaning business. "<i>Tell me.</i>"

He dug his hands into his hips, staring down at the ground, shaking his head repeatedly. "This is so <i>not</i> how this was supposed to go down." He sighed heavily, then looked up at the clear sky, suddenly serious for a rare moment. Shrugging his shoulders slightly, he lowered his head again, meeting her eyes.

"I love you, alright? I love you, Isabel."

It's what she'd asked for, hell, what she'd demanded, but hearing her name from his lips, she seemed taken aback, and for a second I thought she was going to turn and run.

Instead, she launched herself at him, arms flung around his neck, grinning so broadly it threatened to split her face. She whispered in his ear, then nestled her head on his shoulder, and a visible tremor ran through him.

They stood that way for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other, while the rest of the deli's patrons applauded appreciatively. I went back to my food, shaking my head, and Liz smiled at me over the table, then turned to watch them again.

-----

Not long after we crossed into Arizona, Max's destination finally became clear. We pulled into a large campground not far from the site, and piled out of the van.

"The Grand Canyon." I whistled and clapped Max on the back. "Nicely done, Maxwell."

He gave me an unforced smile, then looked down at the ground. "Yeah, I thought it'd be a nice detour."

<i>Okay, maybe not entirely clear.</i>

Hours later, we were giddy first time tourists on a walking tour of the west rim. It was too much to take in at once, and I felt a little overwhelmed. Layer after layer of eroded rock stretched as far as the eye could see, and the Colorado River swirled beneath us. It was absolutely breathtaking.

Isabel got a little teary and fondly recalled a childhood vacation with her parents. In a moment of selflessness, Max took her hand, and they walked out of sight, lost in memories. Kyle had bought a disposable camera and was eagerly snapping shot after shot. The sun beat down on me, and the air was dry, but I was oddly comfortable.

I jumped at Liz's hand on my back, and I looked back at her as she stepped to stand fully at my side. She was gazing out over the canyon, her other hand raised to shield her eyes from the sun. When the silence stretched out, I looked down and said what I knew she was thinking.

"Remind you of home?"

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she nodded mutely. "Not this," she said, gesturing out at the geological phenomenon. "Just... something in the air."

"Yeah, I got that, too."

I wound an arm around her waist and pivoted her around, and she embraced me loosely. Wrapping my other arm around her back, I bent down toward her, and she clutched at me, her hands twisted in my shirt. I dropped my head down to her shoulder, and she raised her chin, her lips brushing against my neck.

The connection roared between us, and heat spread across my skin at the contact. For the first time, I got images from her, and they danced behind my eyelids. Each flash was connected to a memory of not only the scene, but the emotion, and the visuals were tinted with the blinding colors of our joined energy. Her memories blinked in my brain at a blinding pace, like a strobe light. Her parents, Alex, an older woman I couldn't place... The edges of the images blurred and distorted with emotion - remorse, pain, sorrow. Then there were memories of us, the two of us, and I jumped back at the sensations seeping into my head.

<i>Whoa.</i>

I backed away from her slowly, rubbing my face and raking a hand through my hair. My skin was tingling, every nerve was alive, and I was looking everywhere but at her.

Trust. Contentment.

Desire.

"Michael - "

"Liz, this... is not the best time for this conversation." My head was reeling, and the ground started to sway beneath me. "Let's catch up."

I walked backwards at first, staring at her feet to make sure she was following me, and then turned, taking long strides and large gulps of air. <i>This is not happening. Don't even think about it. She's not yours, Guerin.</i>

We finally caught up with the others at a makeshift souvenir stand. I tried to busy myself, staring at the overpriced t-shirts, when my eyes fell on a postcard rack. I picked up an aerial shot, taken low to the ground, one great split of the canyon the focal point of the image.

Slapping a quarter onto the counter, I retreated into the corner, suddenly anxious to get back to the safety of my own damn sleeping bag.

-----

<i>This has got to be the longest night of my life.</i>

We'd just wrapped up dinner, and it was barely even dark. I seriously contemplated the run and hide mentality - just laying down and zipping myself in until morning. The problem? Liz would know exactly what I was doing.

She was across the fire at the moment, talking to Max. Well, actually, listening to Max. Ever so often I could feel her staring, willing me to look up, but I kept my gaze locked on the fire pit, watching the wood burn away.

<i>I couldn't have felt those things. It just isn't possible. There is no way on earth that Liz Parker... No. Not the slightest chance in hell.</i>

Being alone with your thoughts is dangerous.

I was fighting the urge to throw myself onto the fire and put an end to my misery when Kyle sat down next to me, saying something about Buddha and the canyon of our souls.

I almost hugged him.

-----

I rose with the sun, careful not to disturb the others, and set out to find a place to work.

The campsite was crowded, and it took me awhile, but I finally found a spot on the edge of the grounds. There were a few families parked, but most everyone was still asleep.

I sat cross-legged in the grass, my back supported by a large oak tree, and opened the sketchbook, setting the postcard on my leg. I drew furiously, my hand sweeping wide arcs across the page, making a rough sketch before filling in the details. My fingers seemed to move on their own, and time ceased to exist. After awhile, I shifted, and the postcard flipped to the ground. The image already burned into my memory, I barely noticed.

Small whispers prodded the back of my brain, slowly getting louder as I drew. Soon, there was a violent storm between my ears, and the voices all sounded like Liz. Bits and pieces of our last connection flew through my mind, blinding my vision and blocking my view of the page, but my hand kept moving.

The aroma of coffee traveled over to me, and I could suddenly smell her, fresh and warm and wafting floral and vanilla notes into my nostrils. I continued to sketch.

Someone at the campsite nearest to me flipped on a radio. The soft twang of an acoustic guitar filled the air, and the vocalist began to sing quietly. I started shading.

<i>Well it's not hard to see
Anyone who looks at me
Knows I am just a rolling stone
Never landed anyplace to call my own</i>

The hard shadows of the canyon's depths, jagged rocks and slight crevices on the surface...

<i>Well it seems like so long ago
But it really ain't, you know
I started off a crazy kid
Miracle I made it through the things I did</i>

Translucent clouds in a clear sky, the sun spilling fragmented light on the uneven ground...

<i>I'd rather walk a winding road
Rather know the things I know
See the world with my own eyes
No regrets, no looking back
No goodbyes</i>

Beams of light reflected off warm strands, whipping into billowy curves and contours...

<i>Someday I'll go
Where there ain't no rain or snow
Till then, I travel alone
And I make my bed
With the stars above my head
And dream of a place called home...</i>

My hand jerked to a stop, my head suddenly crystal clear, and I stared at the image before me, my jaw set so hard I thought my teeth would crack.

The canyon was set on an angle, the rift dividing the page on the diagonal. Its depths were heavily blackened, in stark contrast to the well-lit, rocky surface, and the sky above was peaceful and serene.

The epic landscape was invaded by the presence of a tiny figure standing at the edge of the cliff. Back turned, head held high, arms outstretched, dark hair dancing in the breeze. Her dress followed her like a second skin, then degraded to tatters beyond her waist, the pieces curling around her legs. And behind her, a smooth extension of her form, magnificent, feathered wings stood unmoving in the wind. The light was drawn to that small area, as if the sun had a spotlight, and her spirit seemed to fill the page. The dark inscription was now worked into the rock, peeking out from beneath her bare feet.

<i>Anything is possible...</i>

I let the sketchbook slip from my fingers and drew my legs to my chest. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I dropped my head, feeling harsh denim against my skin, and the sound of shattering glass made me oblivious to my own sobs.


<i>Every time you push him to the wall
Why are you surprised
To see
He’s breakable…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

A/N: Thank you both for the feedback. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.

-----

<b>CHAPTER SEVEN » </b><i>Hanging By a Moment</i>


Some time later, I made my way back to camp. Coming over a small ridge, I could see Liz and Kyle packing up the van. Isabel and Max were sitting across from each other at the picnic table, and she looked up as I approached.

Kyle called something out to her, and suddenly she was in motion, striding toward me quickly.

Her arm shot out when she was still a few feet from me, and as we closed the distance, she started to rub my face with her outstretched hand.

"What the hell?" She moved to the other side, applying gentle pressure, sweeping her fingers across my skin, and I could feel the slight energy she was using. "Iz, knock it off. What are you doing?"

Taking my free hand in hers, she lifted it to my line of sight. My fingertips were stained, almost black, and a layer of graphite coated my palms in random streaks. I'd swiped at my face harshly after my little breakdown, and I could only imagine what I looked like.

"Most of it's gone," she said softly, trying to meet my eyes. "Are you okay?"

Liz and Kyle were watching us now, and I looked down at my feet, letting my hair fall in my face, and nodded.

We walked slowly back to the rest of the group, my head still hung.

"You missed breakfast. I could grab you a sandwich or something... Hungry?" I shook my head in response, and we stopped near the van. I caught Liz out of the corner of my eye, staring at me intently. Kyle put a hand on her arm, turning her toward him, and I shot him a small, grateful smile.

Max jogged over, maps and notes in hand, and hopped into the driver's seat. Liz glanced at me over her shoulder, then climbed in beside him. I expelled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and squeezed my eyes shut, while Isabel grabbed my hand and led me into the back.

-----

<i>Any second now, I'm gonna scream.</i>

Isabel was trying to mother me, all whispers and hands and quiet reassurances. She and Kyle were sitting up, exchanging looks, and I was lying between them, getting frustrated with their silent conversation.

Finally I growled and sat up, my voice as hushed as my frustration would allow. "I'm not five, people. And dammit, I can <i>see</i> you. Why can't you just sit in the corner and grope each other like a normal couple?"

Kyle grinned and looked up at his better half. "Well if it would make him feel better..." She slapped him on the arm, and his smile disappeared. "Ow! You are getting <i>violent.</i> Not good for your karma, Princess." He looked back at me, exasperated. "Seriously, Conan, we're just worried about you. I didn't think your body was physically capable of producing tears."

<i>Breathe.</i> Breathe. <i>Do not throw him from the van.</i>

I glared at him, but Isabel did the vocal work for me. "Kyle, you are <i>not</i> helping."

I hissed out a warning through gritted teeth. "<i>I don't need any help.</i>"

They blinked in unison, wearing his and hers expressions of disbelief, and I rolled my eyes. "Jesus, you two are starting to look alike." Fed up, I dropped my head in my hands. "Can we at least talk about this <i>later</i>?"

Isabel nodded quickly, and Kyle relocated his grin.

"Now about that groping..."

-----

We'd been driving for a few hours, and Isabel and Kyle had fallen asleep in a tangled heap. Liz had drifted off in the passenger seat, her head turned toward the window, resting on her shoulder. I had shifted positions, my back against the door, staring at a discolored spot on the ceiling. My brain was in overdrive, and I silently prayed to Antar for the ability to mind warp myself.

We hit an angry patch of asphalt, and my head jostled forward and slammed back against the metal. Turning toward the front seat, I started to vent. "Jesus, Maxwell, were you <i>aiming</i> for the pothole?!?"

Then my eyes settled through the windshield, taking in the sight stretched out before us, and I bit back a groan.

"<i>That</i> is your top secret destination?" He smiled into the rearview mirror, and I had my answer.

<i>You have</i> got <i>to be kidding me.</i>

-----

I was still on him when the van stopped.

"What the hell happened to steering clear of big cities?"

By then, Isabel had joined in. "Max, this is not a good idea."

He took the keys out the ignition and turned in his seat. "Look, this is a tourist trap, not a hotbed of FBI activity. We'll only be here for a couple days. It'll be fine."

I blew out a puff of air, glancing over at Liz. She'd gotten a rude wake up call when the argument started, but stayed quiet. Her legs were pulled up to her chest, her heels on the edge of the seat, and her face was hidden by a long sheet of dark hair.

Shaking my head, I turned back to him. "Fine, Maxwell. We stay low, keep quiet, and leave <i>soon</i>."

"I wasn't asking for approval, Michael."

"Well you should have." We both turned shocked faces to Isabel, who was glaring at Max with Ice Queen perfection. "This isn't exactly backwater country here, Max. And you're not on a solo trip, this affects all of us. We had a right to know."

His face softened slightly, and he looked down at his hands. "Maybe I shouldn't have done it this way. But I thought it would be good for us. I mean, the first time around didn't exactly end well." He glared at me briefly, then looked back at Isabel. "We're here now, let's just make the best of it. Have a little fun."

<i>Fun. Somebody explain that one for me.</i>

Kyle chimed in then. "Sleep indoors?" I chuckled before I could stop myself.

"I reserved three rooms," Max answered. "I, uh, assumed that you two wanted to stay together."

Kyle leaned back and snaked an arm around Isabel's shoulders. "Can't let a good hotel room go to waste. There are lamps to be trimmed." She smiled sweetly, then elbowed him solidly in the ribs.

Smirking, I baited him. "I caught that show. The girlfriend review said 'overconfident and badly timed'."

He glowered, rubbing his side. "Everyone's a critic."

-----

Vegas. Fucking Vegas.

Max had us booked at a small motel just off the strip, and we'd barely checked in before he ran off with the van, mumbling something about supplies on his way to the parking lot.

Kyle opened the door to his room, dropping his and Isabel's bags on the floor, and then collapsed facedown on the bed.

"Oh sweet nectar of life, a mattress." I half expected him to start weeping. "Wait a second, does this thing <i>vibrate</i>?"

Rolling my eyes, I pushed off the doorway, walking the short distance to the next room. I stopped with my hand on the doorknob and turned back to his room, poking my head around the door.

"Hey. Pinocchio." His head came up to look at me. "I don't want to... <i>hear</i> anything from your side of the wall, got it?" Before he could respond, I went back to my room, kicking the door closed behind me. Instead of the metal click of the lock, I heard Isabel.

"Okay, Michael. It's later."

I groaned and duplicated Kyle's earlier swan dive, bouncing softly, my voice muffled in the bedspread. "Not now, Isabel." The bed shifted as she sat down next to me.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

A hollow laugh vibrated through my chest, and I rolled onto my side. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Michael, you were gone for hours, and when you finally showed up, you were a wreck. You looked lost, confused. I could see it, from forty feet away, before Kyle even told me... "

<i>I'm really gonna have to do something about his mouth.</i> "Kyle doesn't know what he's talking about," I interjected. She looked away from me, playing with a string at the hem of her shirt. When she spoke again, I could barely hear her.

"Yes, he does." She raised her head slowly, almost reluctant to look at me. "Kyle can read auras, Michael."

Rolling my eyes, I pressed a hand to my temple. "Buddha?" She shook her head softly and replied.

"Powers. It's one of his powers."

"Bullshit," I challenged, disbelieving.

"I can't believe it took me so long to see it. He's always the first to know when something's off. Always the voice of reason, calming things down before they have a chance to get out of control." She gave me a small smile. "I kept wondering how he automatically <i>knew</i> when I needed him, every time... I should have seen it earlier."

I felt her cool fingers on my arm. "Think about it, Michael. The looks he gives you, the questions he asks, the things he says..."

<i>"You okay? You look funnier than usual..."</i>

<i>"I've</i> been <i>watching her, man. That's all I do!"</i>

<i>"Yeah, that's what I thought."</i>

<i>"She deserves to know... It's not like she's happy..."</i>

I shut my eyes and chuckled. "Jesus..."

She nodded, pulling her hand away. "Talk to me. I know what's... I know something's wrong."

<i>This is all wrong. The world has tilted on its axis and pitched me directly into the seventh level of hell. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was so careful. I didn't need anybody...</i>

Rubbing a hand across my face, I looked away from her. "It's cool now, Iz."

"Michael - "

"Drop it," I bit out, leveling my gaze at her. Hurt tears sprang to her eyes, but she got off the bed and made her way to the door.

Pressing her palm next to the doorknob, she took a deep breath and turned back to me.

"Don't shut her out too, Michael. I know you, and I don't need Kyle to tell me that feeling this way is killing you. But it's come too far, you've changed too much... You pull away now and you'll destroy her. She's your lifeline, Michael. The only way either of you are going to survive is together." She left then, the door closing softly behind her, and I was alone again.

-----

I was sprawled spread-eagle on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, when the phone rang. I picked it up in a daze, barely holding it to my ear.

"El Presidente has returned and requests an audience for the evening meal."

I blinked at the sound of Kyle's voice. "Huh?"

"Dinner, genius. We're going to dinner." When I didn't respond, he prodded me, his voice suddenly serious. "Uh, how'd the talk go?"

I grimaced, pinching the bridge of my nose, and answered him gruffly. "What, you can't see my aura through the wall?"

"No, but I can hear the bug up your ass. She's your sister, man, she cares about you. She just wants things to work out for you."

"No, she expects me to do something I can't possibly do. That road's not open, Kyle."

He let out an impatient breath. "Of course it is, Mufasa. You've practically paved the damn thing yourself. But the first step is the hardest one to take."

Brushing his comments aside, I sat up. "I'll see you outside in five." I didn't wait for him to respond, just slid the phone smoothly back into its cradle. Standing, I pulled back the curtains, and dim, orange light filtered through the window.

<i>When did the sun go down?</i>

-----

Ten minutes later, Kyle, Isabel and I were standing outside their room, Liz and Max still strangely absent.

"She'll be out in a second, she was just washing up," Isabel said, eyeing me carefully. I nodded, hooking a thumb inside my pocket. Then the van sailed into the parking lot, and Max hopped out of the driver's seat, uncharacteristically upbeat. Right on cue, Liz slipped out of her room and came up to join the rest of us. We stood in silence.

"So I assume you have a plan... Where are we dining this fine evening?" Kyle asked, clearly trying to cut the tension.

"The Hard Rock Cafe," Max replied, looking down at the small girl next to him. "Liz has always wanted to eat there." He'd clearly missed the pained expression that twisted her features at his words.

She looked up at him and managed a small smile. 'Max, I'm not really feeling well. You guys go on."

"Liz, you have to go, I've got it all arranged. It's going to be perfect."

Kyle shifted next to me, eyes slightly narrowed, his gaze moving back and forth between the two of them. When he spoke, his words were casual, but his voice was firm. "It's been a long couple days, man. Maybe she should just chill for awhile."

<i>He can</i> see... <i>Something's wrong.</i>

I inched toward him, whispering as quietly as I could. "What?"

"Panic," he whispered back, his voice low and hard. "He's losin' it."

Max had ignored Kyle's interruption, determined to change Liz's mind, and she was still declining as pleasantly as possible. Isabel had come up behind her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and was calmly trying to convince her brother that Liz needed some rest.

He wasn't hearing it. "Liz, we don't have to stay long. It would be nice to have a group dinner, we haven't done that in long time." He ran a shaky hand through his hair, and Kyle snapped.

"You've got a plan alright... What's really happening here?"

Startled, he turned to Kyle. "What?"

"This isn't about dinner. What the hell are you trying to pull?" Hearing the fury in his voice, Isabel started to back away, pulling Liz with her. "What's arranged, Max?" he continued, slowly advancing.

Flustered, Max stammered out a reply. "Nothing, I just meant - "

"You're lying."

His eyes darkened dangerously. "Back off, Kyle. You don't want to do this."

"Watch it, Evans. Jedi mind tricks don't work on me, I can read you like a book." Turning abruptly, he strode toward the van. "You went to get supplies, right? Let's just see what you picked up." The rest of us stood, frozen in place, as Max followed on his heels. He stopped next the door as Kyle crouched inside. "Well I see we're still out of Frosted Flakes, we're drastically low on peanut butter..."

"Kyle," Max snapped.

He turned around inside the van, and gave Max a fiercely hostile glare. "What's the matter, your highness? I was just curious as to what kind of supplies you were out in search of for three hours."

"I had some things to take care of."

Finally, Isabel found her voice. "What is going <i>on</i>, Max?"

"Nothing!" he shot out.

She shook her head quickly. "No, if Kyle... What are you doing, Max? You're <i>scaring</i> me. You're scaring Liz."

I looked down at the brunette in her arms, and fought the urge to wrap her in my own. She was staring straight ahead, eyes fixed on Max, her breath shallow and uneven. The sight of her alone was enough to take me from frozen to furious.

"Nobody's going <i>anywhere</i> until we get some answers, Maxwell." My tone left no room for argument.

His eyes darted back and forth between the two girls, shining with pain. "How can you not believe me?"

<i>Leave it to Max to try anyway.</i>

I answered for them. "Kyle's a good judge of character. We're waiting, Maxwell."

Dejected, he sat down on the edge of the van, and Kyle stepped down to the ground. "I thought, if we came here, if we did this..." He looked up at Liz. "That we could be happy again." She shut her eyes, shivering in Isabel's loose embrace, and Max started rooting around for something in the van. When he stood, he was holding a long, clear garment bag. The dress inside was long, simple, and white.

<i>No, no, no, no, no. This is</i> not <i>happening.</i> Clenching my fists, I could feel the muscles in my neck snapping to attention.

He walked slowly toward Liz and Isabel, who were still huddled together. "I wanted to do this someplace special..." Bending down on one knee, he held the dress out to her, a shaky smile plastered on his face. "Will you marry me, Liz?"

<i>Christ, Maxwell, can't you see she doesn't want this?</i> I shook my head, suddenly afraid of what her answer would be, but stayed silent, watching the scene unfold. Max, kneeling before her, smiling in spite of everything that had just happened. And Liz...

Liz looked like a deer frozen in the middle of the highway. Small and frail, dark eyes wide, staring at the headlights that signal impending doom. Had circumstances been different, I would have been laughing at her by now.

She stepped out of Isabel's arms to stand on her own.

"I... I don't want this," she stammered, echoing the words I'd thought in my head seconds before, so low I almost couldn't hear her. She still hadn't moved.

"Is it not right? I could change it..." Max trailed off, frowning at the dress.

She blinked then. Hard and long, and it seemed to give her strength. In that second, I could feel her steeling herself. She changed her stance slightly, squaring her shoulders and bowing her head to meet his eyes.

"No," she stated simply. "You."

He pulled his brows together in confusion, then shot her a clueless smile. "What?"

She took a long, solid breath, closing her eyes for a beat, and the voice that emerged was calm and clear. "I don't want <i>you</i>, Max."

I tried not to smirk. Yeah, she'd rediscovered her spine, but now was hardly the time for congratulations. Now came the pleading eyes and the puppy dog voice. It's what he always did, when they argued, when she didn't agree, when she didn't automatically jump to his defense... Sure, she'd said it plain, straight, and to the point, and any person with half a brain cell would know what it meant. But not Max, not when it came to Liz. I wondered for the millionth time how he ever ruled an entire race of people, already beginning to recite words I knew he'd say in my head. But then he did something I didn't expect.

He broke. If you listened carefully, over the dull hum of the streetlights, you could hear him shatter. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he fumbled through a string of incoherent whispers that couldn't get over the lump in his throat.

"Liz... I... You don't mean that, I know you don't."

She kept her eyes on his, but they had softened at his words. <i>She feels sorry for him. She's going to cave.</i>

I wanted to turn away, unwilling and unable to watch her give up her life again, but my head wouldn't move. I just stood there, staring at her, waiting for the inevitable. When she opened her mouth to speak, my heart stopped.

She spoke softly, as if she didn't want to startle him. "No, Max... You don't know <i>me</i>." I gasped in shock, and my pulse started again. At that, she turned on her heel and walked away, and I pushed a palm against her stomach to stop her.

"What are you doing?"

She looked up at me, jaw set, head tilted slightly, and locked her eyes on mine.

"Cutting the strings."

Then she brushed past me without a second glance, moving quickly in long strides her small legs shouldn't have been able to handle.

I watched her fade into the distance, her petite form blurring with the lights of the strip, then turned back to Max. The dress had slipped from his grasp, but he was still kneeling on the hard concrete, hands clenched at his waist and his forehead touching the ground. I stole a look at the others. Isabel stood off to the side, head raised to the dark sky, fists balled at her sides. Kyle was still perched at the edge of the van, half-hidden in shadow, one leg on the ground and the other bent on the carpeted floor behind him. I was surprised his muscles hadn't begun to atrophy. I turned around again, looking for any sign of her, and it occurred to me then that I hadn't even watched Maria take her third step.

Silently, I took one step back, my mind made up before one foot met the other. I did the only thing I could do.

I went after her.

-----

I found her on a bench outside Casino Royale, hands folded in her lap as she stared at the flyers for high-priced escorts that littered the ground. I didn't say anything, just sat down next to her, letting her know I was there. Someone hit a jackpot on the nickel slots behind us, and the building's open doors let the sound flood onto the street.

Sometime before sunrise, she slipped one of her tiny hands in mine. I squeezed a little, then spent the next hour absently rubbing circles along the back of her hand with my thumb while trying to fend off sleep.

The sun was hitting the mountains, creating hypnotic swirls of gold, red, and purple along the horizon, when she spoke.

"I hate this town." The words were quiet, hollow.

"Yeah..." I croaked out. "Who the hell gets married in Vegas, anyway?" I was trying to lighten the mood, and make small talk, all in one neat little bundle.

It didn't go over well, remind me never to do that again.

She was quiet for a minute more, and then looked over at me for the first time in hours. "<i>I</i> did, Michael. I got married in Vegas."

I frowned. "I'm not following."

She sighed, exhaling the whole world in one burst of air, and then met my eyes. "There's something we need to talk about."

-----

By the time her story was over we were nearing the motel, walking at a snail's pace. I hadn't said a word since she started, and as she wrapped it up, I was wondering what to say to her. Questions were battling for dominance in my head, resulting in a muddled confusion, and I was at a loss for words. In that timeline, she'd married Max, Alex was alive... And the world had ended.

<i>She gave up everything...</i>

On top of all that, I was terrified that the group would fall apart. That Max would lay down the law.

That Liz would leave.

We were milling around the parking lot when I finally spoke. "I've gotta go talk to him."

Her head snapped up. "You're not gonna tell him, are you?"

I took a deep breath. "Why didn't you?"

"I..." Trailing off, she hung her head, and I shoved my hands into my pockets, looking away.

"You were protecting him." I looked back at her, and she nodded, eyes still locked on the ground.

"There was no reason for him to know, Michael. It wouldn't have helped anything." She slowly raised her head and gave me a penetrating look. "That's still true, but I can't protect him anymore." Wrapping her arms around her waist, she hugged herself. "It costs too much."

-----

After dropping Liz off at her room, I went off in search of Max. I knew where he was before I ever laid eyes on him, thanks to a phenomenon I hadn't witnessed in a long while.

A very, <i>very</i> pissed off Isabel.

They were around the back of the motel, sitting near the deserted pool, squaring off like their lives depended on it.

"I cannot <i>believe</i> you did that, Max. What the hell were you thinking?!?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Isabel," he ground out. "It's between Liz and I, it has nothing to do with you."

She growled furiously, jumping up and plunging both hands into her hairline. "There isn't <i>anything</i> between you and Liz anymore. She walked away, she doesn't want to be with you. God, Max, <i>wake up</i>! She's not happy with you, and she hasn't been for a long time."

"Isabel - "

"<i>No.</i> You have got to let this go."

He looked away. "We'll work it out."

She sighed deeply and sat back down, her head in her hands. When she finally looked back up at him, her eyes were pleading. "Max, you proposed with a dress. Not a ring, a <i>dress</i>. She wouldn't even have been able to pick out her own wedding dress." Her voice was choked with sobs. "<i>You push too hard.</i> She has absolutely no choices. It's her life, Max, you can't live it for her."

She pushed herself up and looked him in the eye. "It's over. She doesn't want you. She <i>told</i> you that, you heard it from her own mouth." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Just let her go."

He backed away, his eyes never leaving hers. Slowly, he shook his head. "I <i>can't.</i>"

-----

<i>Shower. Long shower.</i>

I slipped into my room, peeling off my clothes as I went, and headed straight for the bathroom. Reaching into the stall, I turned on the water, cranking the lever as far as it would go. When I stepped in, scalding water hit my chest. I didn't flinch, didn't turn it down, just stood unmoving beneath the showerhead and tried to let the water wash away my anger.

When I emerged from the steam-filled room, a towel wrapped around my waist, I fought to adjust my eyes to the darkened room. Faint light seeped in from the open curtains, and Liz was perched on the windowsill.

"<i>Dammit</i>, Parker." Reaching down to the floor, I shoved my damp legs into my jeans. "How the hell did you get in?"

Staring out the window, she lifted her hand off her leg and slowly wiggled her fingers. I tossed the towel on a chair and made my way around the bed. Flicking on the lamp, I stood silently, waiting for her to speak.

"We went to Madame Vivian once, just before he came to me," she said softly. Understanding who she meant, I let her continue. "She read tarot cards for me. Told me that Max was different, a leader. I told her that he had a destiny, one that didn't include me, but she said he would choose me. He would choose <i>love</i>." She let out a hollow laugh, then turned her body toward me, talking to the floor. "And according to the cards, I was destined to be happy, to have this great intimacy."

She shut her eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and her voice fell to a whisper. "He saved my life, but I never promised him the rest of it."

Standing, she looked up at me. "She said that my future was clear. That I would be with my true love. She just never said that it was Max."

"Liz," I warned, shaking my head stiffly. "Don't."

She pressed forward. "We're <i>connected</i>, Michael. I let you see things inside of me that I've never shown anyone, and I know the opposite is true. Are you gonna stand there and tell me that it doesn't mean anything?"

The connection was one thing. I could refuse to acknowledge it, convince myself that what I felt from her wasn't real, that what I wanted wasn't possible. But hearing the words from her suddenly made everything tangible. "It means..." I swallowed hard. "We'd never been close. I thought we were, you know, becoming friends." My tongue felt thick, and I could barely get the words out. She stepped toward me, shaking her head.

"That's bullshit, Michael. You've seen everything. You've <i>felt</i> everything. Denying it doesn't make it any less true. I know you think you're protecting me, cause that's what you <i>do</i>. But you're trying to protect yourself too, Michael. And there's no reason to, not now, not from this."

Words floated around in my head. Slices of conversations past, echoing in my ears. While I was sketching, they'd sounded like Liz. But these whispers were different... It was me, my voice.

<i>”You can be special again...”</i>

"Would you open your eyes for a second, Parker? This is <i>me</i> you're talking to. I don't do dreams and promises and grand romantic gestures." I took a breath, trying to stay in control. "I can't give you that, it's just not in my power to give."

She shrugged, nonchalant. "I've had enough of that in my life, just doesn't do it for me." She moved impossibly closer, until I could feel her breath as she spoke.

"My eyes are wide open, Michael. You're not Max. I know that as well as you do. Don't make my decision for me. That's not what I want."

"Then what the hell <i>do</i> you want?!?" I was practically screaming in her face, anxious to put some space between us, but somehow unable to back away myself. My stomach was churning violently at her proximity, and the air suddenly seemed thin, but she didn't back down.

"You know what I want."

<i>”Anything is possible...”</i>

I gasped and shut my eyes, defeated. "Why?" I choked out, looking at her again, struggling with the words. "Why do you want me?"

I was shocked when she spoke without hesitation. "Because of who you are, and who I am when I'm with you. Because of what we could be together. You told me once that I was letting myself die... With you, I'm alive." She smiled brightly, and my chest constricted. "Forget promises, forget romance. This is about you and me, about being <i>happy</i>."

Her hand reached up, fingers grazing my cheek. "We can make our own dreams."

<i>”She's your lifeline...”</i>

Her eyes bore into mine, expanding to fill my field of vision, and for a moment I forgot to breathe. I was drowning in them, cloaked in the velvety brown tones, swimming from one fleck of gold to the next. My heart was beating wildly, and my mouth fell open, grabbing for oxygen to refill my rapidly deflating lungs.

<i>”The first step is the hardest one to take...”</i>

Then I reached out, crashing into her, and the world fell away.


<i>Forgetting all I’m lacking
Completely incomplete
I’ll take your invitation
You take all of me
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

<b>CHAPTER EIGHT » </b><i>Long Time Coming</i>


I tumbled toward her in slow motion, my eyes never leaving hers. My hands found her hips, and the distance seemed to grow and shrink with every passing millimeter, until we were a breath apart but still half a world away. Her eyes slid closed, and I watched her in earnest, memorizing every detail of her face.

Parting my lips and taking a breath, I dropped my head and closed the gap.

<i>Sweet Jesus.</i>

My lips ground against hers with bruising force, moving as if they had a mind of their own. They had craved contact with her for what seemed like an eternity, and I had denied them for too long.

Her palms slid up my chest with a touch that was featherlight, one hand stopping over my heart, pressing her fingertips into my skin. I flattened a hand on her back and pulled her closer, higher, molding her to my body, our teeth clashing together. Her softness yielded to my hard planes, and I shut my eyes as she melted into me.

Pulling back slightly, I nipped at her bottom lip, and she shivered almost violently, raking her nails across my shoulders. The hand at her back slid underneath her shirt, tracing indistinct paths over her skin, while the other came up to her face. I rested my palm against her cheek, curling my fingertips around her delicate neck, and tilted her head up higher. I pulled her lower lip into my mouth, sucking gently, running my tongue over the lush fullness. She gasped and wound her arms around my neck, her fingers toying with the hair at my nape.

The tip of her tongue darted out to meet mine, and at first contact, stars exploded behind my eyes.

Tangible waves of need and desire crashed back and forth between us, building with every pass until the sheer size of them threatened to push us apart. I held her to me, her toes barely touching the floor, and her arms dropped to my shoulder blades, clutching me with strength I didn't know she possessed. Our tongues dueled inside the joined cavern of our mouths, battling for dominance.

My hand slipped around her collar to tangle in her hair, and yards of chocolate silk grazed my knuckles and slipped between my fingers. I pulled her head back, dragging my tongue across her still parted lips, then claimed her mouth again, licking into her teasingly. She moaned into my mouth, grabbing at the skin of my back, and the waves grew stronger still.

Our tongues met again, and a spark of white-hot energy shot up my spinal cord and through my tendons, leaving my fingertips to flow into her. Our joined emotions slammed together furiously, creating an invisible hurricane, and the ground quaked beneath me. We stood in a fierce embrace at the eye of the storm, our pulses throbbing in perfect time, and melded into one being, holding on for dear life.

She murmured against my lips, a single word that sounded vaguely like my name, and the torrent stopped as abruptly as it had begun.

My eyes shot open and met hers, gazing back at me, black as midnight. My tongue had ceased its frantic exploration, and my lips moved lightly, almost innocently, over hers, while I waited for the rainbow after the storm.

Her palm slid up my arm, leaving a trail of soft heat in its wake, and she took my hand, our fingers intertwining. Gossamer strands of pulsing light bound us together at the wrists, winding down like vines to wrap us in a glowing cocoon, and she smiled against my mouth.

"Hey, Paul Bunyan, King Nothing out there is really..."

My head shot up at the sound of Kyle's voice, and I unconsciously tightened my hold on Liz. His eyebrow shot up quickly, and a self-satisfied grin spread across his face. "Nevermind, there's obviously something <i>far</i> more interesting going on."

"Christ, Half Pint, can't you knock?" I looked down at Liz, expecting a fierce shade of red, but was met with an amused smile. Kyle closed the door quickly and stepped toward us.

"If I knocked, I'd miss out on all the fun." He rubbed his hands together, looking back and forth between us. "I need a recap of the action. Who's gonna start?"

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly stepped out of Liz's embrace, scratching my eyebrow. "What's wrong with him now?"

He looked at me incredulously, then shook his head. "He's freaked because Liz didn't come back last night. I told him that she'd probably joined up with Cirque, I remember her being pretty flexible..." I glared at him and he cleared his throat, forcing down a laugh. "Well, at any rate, he's pissed."

I sighed heavily and ran a hand over my face. "I'll talk to him."

Kyle looked hesitant to speak for a moment, eyes fixed on the hand still wrapped in Liz's, then found his tongue. "About… <i>what</i>, exactly?"

<i>Good question.</i>

I brushed it aside, looking down at the floor. "Where is he?"

I could feel Kyle's eyes on me, penetrating, and fought to calm down for the sake of his gift. There were so many things going on inside my head, the thought of a visual aide was enough to make me cringe. Right on cue, Kyle rubbed his forehead roughly.

"He's out by the pool." I nodded, and turned slightly pleading eyes on him. He straightened, talking quickly. "Yeah, so I'm gonna... Yeah. I'll get the play by play later."

He took Liz's free hand in his own, meeting her eyes, suddenly serious. "Everything's going to work out. Just stay strong, okay?" She gave him a brief smile, and he ran his thumb across her face. "I'm <i>proud</i> of you."

Before she could respond, he turned on his heel and strode quickly through the door. She stared after him.

"Parker - " I started. She turned to face me again, dangerously close, and my breath caught in my throat. Chocolate met caramel as our eyes found each other, and I could feel myself falling, spiraling, being drawn down into the vibrant abyss that was her soul.

Part of me had always thought of Liz as fragile, clinical, a little bland. Even after the journal incident, when I knew she could be trusted, she was still just plain old Parker, small town schoolgirl extraordinaire, trying to live vicariously through the alien contingent and add some color in her life.

Looking at her now, seeing inside of her, I laughed out loud. How wrong I had been, even then.

Her eyes were ablaze, alive, smoldering with the last embers of our kiss.

<i>You idiot.</i> This <i>is Liz.</i>

The signs had always been there, and I had written her off without a second thought. The girl who stood toe-to-toe with three aliens in a dark alley, and didn't back down an inch. The girl who had risked everything to prove to us that her best friend hadn’t taken his own life. The girl who had selflessly given up a future with the man she loved to save the world. To save me. Strong. Passionate. Determined. Utterly fearless.

I gathered her in my arms and buried my face in her hair, mumbling into the top of her head. Her scent drifted into my nostrils, and I chuckled lightly. Even after a night of pure hell, she was still Liz, her warmth all around me, smelling of vanilla and hope and salvation. "Incredible. Just fucking unbelievable."

She pulled her head back, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

Smoothing her brow with my fingertips, I pressed my lips to her temple. I leaned down, resting my forehead against hers, my heart beating so fast it hurt.

"You."

-----

The pool was no longer deserted, but was far from crowded. I spotted Max easily, sitting rigidly on a lounge chair near the back gate, and made my way over to him. I sat down on his right, but he didn't look up to acknowledge me. A few kids thrashed around in the shallow end of the pool, and I waited for him to get his thoughts together.

"I can't figure out what went wrong."

I looked over at him, but his eyes were still fixed on the ground. "Can't you?"

His head snapped up. "What's that supposed to mean, Michael?" I spread my legs out, propping my elbows on my thighs, and clenched my hands together.

"She told you what went wrong, Maxwell. You don't know her anymore."

He looked out over the pool, his voice dropping to a hollow drone. "That's not true. Things have been different lately, but she just needs some stability. Getting married would give her that." My fingers tightened around the knuckles of my other hand, and I could feel my nails cutting into my palm. "I even called her father once and asked for his blessing."

<i>Ah, the pay phone mystery is finally solved.</i> I snorted. "Yeah? How'd that go?"

"He hung up on me."

<i>Imagine that</i>.

I shook my head. "You've just gotta come to terms, man."

"With what? She's confused, Michael. She'll come to her senses. We've been together a long time. We share a bond... I saved her life, we're connected forever. She's mine, we belong together."

A pang of unbridled jealousy shot through me, and I spun on him, fuming. "Jesus, would you listen to yourself? She's not <i>yours</i>, Maxwell. She's not a thing to be owned. What the hell are you gonna do, force her to marry you? It's still her life, she can make her own damn choices, and <i>she doesn't want you</i>."

<i>Whoa, bring it down a notch, it's a little too close to home.</i>

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. "Look, she didn't say that she wants nothing to do with you. She just doesn't want to be with you, and that's valid. You need to get a grip before you lose her completely."

"I don't want to lose her at all!" His face was inches from mine, his eyes blazing, and I worked the muscles in my jaw furiously, trying not to shove him away.

"It's too late for that, Maxwell. She's made her choice." I stood, ready to leave.

"Where is she, Michael?" The question stopped me in my tracks, my back still to him. "She didn't come back last night. Did you find her?"

I closed my eyes, burying my hands in my pockets. "She's fine."

"Thanks. For taking care of her for me." A bitter chuckle left my lips, but he didn't seem to hear it.

<i>You cocky son of a bitch. I didn't do it for you.</i>

"I just need to find a way to fix this."

I turned around slowly, searching out his eyes, and pinned him with a hard look. "You just don't listen, do you? And it's coming at you from every angle. From me, from Isabel, from <i>Liz</i>. It's over, Max, there is no fixing it. Get that through your head."

He shook his head vehemently. "I can’t just give up on her like that."

I'm sure he heard my laugh that time, loud and mocking. "You gave up on her a long time ago, Maxwell. When you slept with Tess, when you didn't believe her about Alex's death, when you handed her a <i>gun</i> and made her commit a felony! And you expected her to come running back to you after everything, with no questions asked, like nothing ever happened. She gave up her family, her dreams..."

I turned my head, unable to look him in the eye anymore. "Liz has given up more than you know." My words were like gravel, spat through gritted teeth. "She's out here because of you, man. Because you took her life into your hands, and never let it go again."

Trembling with anger, I looked back at him. "<i>Just give it back to her.</i> After everything that's happened, and everything she's done, it's the least you can do for her."

His eyes were wide, surprised, and he stammered out a reply. "No... It's not... You don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about, Michael. You don't know anything about us."

"Now that's where you're wrong, Maxwell. I know her better than you ever did. Than you ever tried to." My eyes flashed, and I issued a warning. "Think about what I said. You're on a crash course for disaster, Maxwell... The way things are going, she's going to end up hating you. Is that what you want?" I gave him a final look, then walked briskly back to my room.

-----

I stormed angrily into the room, not bothering with the key, then frantically reached out to grab the slamming door as I took in the sight before me.

Liz was curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed, facing the door, her tiny body swathed in my discarded t-shirt. The hem was yanked over her knees and down to her ankles, and her long hair fanned out behind her, a dark shock on the light bedspread.

I'd never seen her more beautiful.

I closed the door softly, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, and walked over to the bed. Reaching down, I trailed a finger along her jaw line, and she buried her head in her cloth-covered knees, inhaling deeply. She was breathing in, absorbing my scent with the air. My hand stopped, and I groaned, fighting the urge to wrap my body around her and get some much-needed rest.

Reaching into my bag, I yanked out my supplies, then pulled a chair up next to the bed. Squinting against my fatigue, I straddled the seat and opened my sketchbook, intent on capturing every soft curve on paper.

-----

Satisfied with my sketch, I set the closed book down on the table, the pencil rolling off the cover, and stood up to stretch. I was itching to paint her, at least sketch her in color, to trap the hypnotic bronze of her skin on canvas. Liz hadn't moved since I started drawing, and her breathing was deep and even. She was completely at peace, and I was content just to watch her.

Her head jerked softly to the side, and she murmured in her sleep. "Michael..." Smirking, I knelt in front of her, running the pad of my thumb along her lower lip. <i>Sleeping beauty...</i> I ached to kiss her, to be the first thing she saw when her eyes fluttered open, like some fated fairy tale.

<i>”He's Prince Charming, I'm the damsel in distress...”</i>

I fell back at the memory, Liz's voice bouncing off my eardrums. Stumbling into the bathroom, I sunk to the edge of the tub, my head in my hands.

Max's face flashed in my mind, broken at Liz's declaration, challenging during his face-off with Isabel, resolved but detached with me just hours earlier. I screwed my eyes shut and rubbed my temples, and a small voice spoke from the doorway.

"Penny for your thoughts."

I looked up at her, my hands sliding down my face, and my breath hitched involuntarily. My shirt had swallowed her, sliding off one shoulder to reveal a soft expanse of tanned skin, and her hair was tousled, alternately hiding and revealing her face as she moved. I found myself answering her before I could edit my thoughts.

"I want you, Liz." She tried to meet my eyes, but I kept them averted, my gaze planted firmly on the wall a few inches to her left. " But I... I don't want to need you..."

"The way Max does?" she finished for me. My head jerked toward her, and she locked her eyes on mine.

"I <i>can't</i>. It scares the hell out of me."

She nodded, holding my gaze, but didn't move any closer. Leaning against the doorframe, she sighed. "I don't expect you to. I don't want you to, Michael. I already told you, you're not Max. And I'm pretty sure that I am not some kind of irresistible homing beacon for alien men."

"Don't be so sure," I scoffed under my breath, and my eyes raked over her again.

Ignoring me, she continued. "The way Max feels has very little to do with me, Michael, and you know that. It's about him being in control. He wants this perfect life, down to the dog and the white picket fence. He's not living in reality. He's always <i>needed</i> me, even in the beginning. You could never be like that. If nothing else, you're a realist. Wanting is a choice, Michael. Need is not."

Stepping toward me slowly, she searched my face. "And for that reason, I could never be to you what I am to Max." She stopped directly in front of me, and I tilted my head back, trying not to break the eye contact. Reaching out, she grasped one of my hands tightly, weaving her small fingers into mine.

I squeezed her hand, locking our palms together, then pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles.

Her eyes peered down at me, shining with honesty, and I desperately wanted to believe her. But there <i>was</i> no choice. My path, though narrow and treacherous, was set, and the only destination was Liz.

Urging her forward, I wrapped my arms around her, sliding one hand up her back, the other snaking around her waist and down her hip. She cradled my head to her chest, running her fingers through my hair, and I let myself breathe freely, her unmistakable scent now locked in the fibers of my well-worn t-shirt. I could feel her heartbeat drumming beneath my ear, lulling me to sleep, and my grip on her loosened.

"Michael?" I felt the softly spoken word reverberate against my skull, and answered in a daze.

"Hmmm?"

She laughed quietly, and I pulled back to meet her smiling eyes. "Did you plan on sleeping in the bathtub?" I growled in response, and she laughed harder, both of our bodies shaking with the action. I pushed off the tub and rocked to my feet, kissing the top of her head, and she stopped abruptly. Her hands shot up to my face, pulling my head down, and she looked deep into my eyes.

"You told me to cut the strings, and now I'm telling you. You don't owe him anything, and you're not doing anything wrong. Let yourself be happy, Michael." Her hands slid down to mine, and she led me silently out of the bathroom.

-----

<i>She's actually going to put me to bed.</i>

I was standing stock-still in the middle of the room while Liz turned down the covers. She spun quickly when she finished, motioning me towards her, a small smile lighting up her face.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Parker?” I cracked, waggling my eyebrows suggestively. She laughed, and I grinned broadly when the musical lilt found my ears.

And then all hell broke loose.

The door flew open, and Kyle bounded into the room unannounced for the second time that day, his face distressed and furious.

“Danger, Will Robinson. El Presidente approaches.”

He stopped next to me, turning back toward the door, and I groaned inwardly. Max stormed in then, briefly slowed by an exasperated Isabel, trying in vain to hold him back. I reached out, grabbing Liz’s wrist, and pulled her to my side, then stepped toward the struggling siblings.

“I just want to talk to her, Isabel.” His frenzied eyes searched for Liz, half hidden behind me. “Liz…”

Her hand squeezed my arm reassuringly, and then she was stepping around me to face Max. Isabel’s palms were still splayed on his chest, but she had turned to face the smaller girl. Liz widened her stance, crossing her arms over her chest, and dropped her chin with frightening precision.

“Talk.”

It was a tactic taken directly from me. <i>Page 47 of the Stonewall Handbook, “How to Intimidate Without Really Trying.”</i> Forcing down laughter, I stared Max down.

He ran a hand through his hair. “Liz, I know things have been less than perfect lately, but I’m trying to make it up to you. There’s no need to act out like this.”

Her back went rigid at his words, and her tension and anger choked the air. Oblivious, he continued with his rant. “And I know that the proposal wasn’t what you’d hoped for, but the things you said…” He choked on the words, shutting his eyes. “This has gone on long enough, Liz. How can we work this out if you’re hiding from me?”

She was trembling now, her hair shaking with the slight movement. “Hoped? You think I hoped for <i>any</i> of this?” Her voice was tight, strained, and energy started to crackle in the air.

“<i>I don’t want to work it out.</i> This is <i>over</i>, Max.”

His mouth hung open in shock, but he persisted. “How can you say that? It’s always been you and me, Liz. That’s the way it was meant to be. I saved your life… You’re my destiny.” Isabel cringed against him, and Liz dropped her arms to her sides, her hands balled into fists.

“Stop it,” she growled. His eyes widened, and she laughed bitterly. “You say that like I owe you something! Like I have to be indebted to you for the rest of my life. After everything that’s happened, Max, I have paid you back tenfold. You don’t get to hold that over my head anymore.” Cold gave way to softness, and her voice begged for his understanding. “You said it yourself, this has gone on long enough. The truth is, you dissolved a bullet, Max. But I’ve been dying since then. And I have to heal myself.”

She took a deep breath, and the air around her calmed. “<i>I need you to hear me.</i> We don’t belong together. That was another life. We have to find our place in this one.”

Tears sprang to his eyes, and his face fell. He was silent for a moment, mulling over her words, and for a moment I thought he would take them to heart.

Then his features hardened, and I knew I’d hoped for too much.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Liz, this isn’t you.” He ground the words out, his forefinger stabbing at the air. He tried to step toward her and was promptly stopped by Isabel, her rigid arms hindering his movement.

Eyes still locked on Liz, he roughly shrugged her off, and a thud sounded through the room as she hit the wall. Kyle shot forward, blocking his path, eyes full of fury.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!?”

“Get out of my way, Kyle. This is between me and Liz.” He stepped forward, their heads mere inches apart. I reached out for Liz, my eyes locked on Max.

Kyle didn’t back down, snarling back at him.“<i>I’m</i> between you and Liz.” Isabel made her way to his side, resting a hand on his back, letting him know that she was alright. “I suggest you rethink this.” Max shifted his weight back and forth, glaring at Kyle, and the shorter man shook his head. “What are you doing? You wanted to talk, and you’ve said your piece. But you’re dangerous like this, Max. <i>You just hurt your sister.</i> And you don’t give a damn, do you?”

Max’s eyes flashed. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Kyle. It was an accident. She was in my way – “

“Of course she was,” Kyle cut in. “And anyone who gets in your way deserves whatever’s coming to them, right? You’re never responsible for your own actions, it’s always someone else’s doing. Michael made you heal Liz that day. Tess mind-warped you into impregnating her. Liz talked you into armed robbery. And of course, Isabel just <i>begged</i> to be thrown into that wall.” He stopped his frantic rambling, seething in anger. “Everything you do has consequences. You just can’t own up to the truth. <i>You destroy everything you touch.</i>”

The rest of us watched the scene with wide eyes, oddly captivated, and a warning sounded inside my head.

<i>Easy, back it down, he’s gonna snap…</i> I had no magic karma-reading ability, but even I could see that Max was teetering on the brink.

A bitter, strangled laugh left Kyle’s throat, and he smirked sardonically. "I don't know what you were like in your last life, Evans, but if this one is any indication, it's no wonder your planet went to hell."

<i>Shit.</i>

Max's fist flew up, nailing him squarely in the jaw, and then Max was a blur, throwing himself into Kyle. They staggered and fell, Kyle's head kissing the table on the way to the floor. Liz and Isabel's shouts were jumbled as I shot toward the brawling twosome.

Planting my hands under Max's arms, I yanked him up, only to stumble backward as his elbow painfully connected with my cheek. My vision swam and I reached out blindly, gripping his shirt, and pulled him away. Isabel rushed over, helping Kyle to his feet, and Max struggled in my grip.

“You agree with him,” he growled at me. He broke free, arms flailing, and stalked over to the window. I glanced over at Kyle, who was nursing his jaw, a jagged path of blood trickling out of his nose.

“If you were trying to prove him wrong, I don’t think your little display worked wonders.” My hands were shaking violently, the right side of my face throbbed, and I could feel a bruise forming. Liz reached up, gently stroking my face, and I brushed her hand away, focused solely on him. “You crossed the line, Maxwell.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this. All of you. We’re a group, the five of us. Maria’s already gone. We’re falling apart.” He looked at the ceiling, lost. “It’s not supposed to be like this.”

“You’re right, it’s not.” My head snapped down at Liz as she spoke. "But we’re not falling apart, Max. You are. You’re the one who’s distanced himself, who’s not a part of this anymore. You’re here, but you’re not <i>here</i>. You don’t know us anymore, any of us, and we sure as hell don’t know you.

“We’re out here on our own, Max, you’re just the man behind the curtain. And I hate to break it to you, but we’ve been doing just fine without you.”

She moved toward him, and my hand shot out, grabbing her arm. Watching him intently, she shook herself free but stopped where she was. “Max, open your eyes and look around you! It's <i>not</i> the five of us. There's us..." She paused and looked pointedly to her right, where Isabel had gathered Kyle protectively in her arms, checking his wounds. "And there's you."

Silhouetted by the window, his features were dark, and he turned furious eyes on her. "I'm looking, Liz," he snarled. "And all I see is my <i>family</i> turning against me!"

"No," she said firmly, stepping back and lacing her fingers tightly through mine. "<i>Open your eyes.</i>"

He froze, taking us both in, and I braced myself for the battle to come. My chest was still bare, and Liz was wrapped in my shirt, her clothes in a ball on the floor. Recognition passed over his features and he clenched his jaw, fixing his hard gaze on me. "You <I>bastard</I>. How could you betray me like - "

“Maxwell," I cut in evenly. "It's not... It wasn't like that. Not the way you're thinking.”

He stared at me, unblinking. “Really, Michael? Then tell me, what was it like?”

Liz’s fingers pressed into my skin. <i>”You don’t owe him anything…”</i>

“You changed, man," I stated simply. “And so did we.”

His hollow laugh echoed through the room, and he plastered on a disturbing sneer. “That’s rich, Michael.” Shaking his head slowly, his face grew serious. “You came to me with that condescending speech, and you were the reason all along. You knew how I feel about her, and you still took her from me!”

My mouth shot open, ready to level him, and I felt Liz drop my hand. She walked quickly, standing in front of him before I could stop her, and her voice was firm and cool.

“I wasn’t yours to take, Max.”

He stared down at her, his face unreadable, and I blinked. By the time I opened my eyes, he’d grabbed her shoulders, suddenly desperate, and was shaking her frantically, shouting in her face.

“Why are you doing this?! You’re my soulmate, Liz, we’re supposed to be together! After everything we’ve been through – “

The air was suddenly thick, almost solid, and my legs couldn’t move fast enough. I reached them just before Kyle did, my arm outstretched, and growled out a warning.

“<i>Let her go</i>.”

Wild eyes met mine, his hands still clutching at her collarbone, and he sobered at the sight of my raised hand. Looking down at Liz again, he jumped back as if she’d burned him, pushing her away and plastering his back to the window. Seemingly unfazed, Liz tried to reach him again.

“You’re out of control, Max.” He stared at the floor. “You’ve hurt everyone in this room, and not just today. Can’t you see yourself?” She took a small step toward him, and my arm locked in front of her, holding her in place. “None of us want to lose you, but we can’t go on like this.”

He scanned the room, his face frozen, his eyes petrified. Inching along the wall, he felt for the doorknob at his back, and lowered his head. “I… I’m sorry.”

Then he whirled, bolting through the door, and was gone.

Kyle sniffed behind me, spitting blood onto the carpet. “Well that was fun, let’s do it again sometime.” I chuckled nervously, my hand moving to stroke Liz’s back absently, eyes still locked on the door.

Isabel spoke for the first time, her voice quiet and strained, and I turned toward her. “Do you think he’ll come back?”

Kyle snorted, rubbing his face. “Do we care?” A little sob escaped her throat, and he went to her, hugging her tightly. “I’m sorry, Princess. I’m sure he’ll be back, he just needs some time.” She buried her face in his shoulder, grabbing handfuls of his shirt, then disentangled herself from his arms. I looked down at Liz, trying to contain my anger.

“You okay?”

She nodded quickly, silently, refusing to meet my eyes. Before I could question her further, Kyle was in front of me.

“This is my fault.” He pushed his fingers through his hair, looking pained. “I pushed him too hard.”

Liz reached out and put a hand on his arm, shaking her head softly. “No, Kyle, he needed to hear it.”

“That he did, but he didn’t need to use the entire room as his personal punching bag.” He looked over at me, his hands on his hips. “Thanks for stepping in. You didn’t have to.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, smirking lightly. “Oh yeah, I could see you had it all under control.”

“No, I mean… It couldn’t have been all that easy.” I was expecting an insult in turn, but he was completely serious. “He’s your brother, man.” He looked puzzled, slightly shocked, and a little honored.

I clapped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing in silent solidarity. “So are you.”

-----

It was dark when I slipped back into my room, two hot dogs and a bag of ice in tow. Max had taken the van, and I had to hoof it for dinner and supplies. Isabel had healed Kyle’s scrapes and bruises before falling into a fitful sleep, and he was still watching over her.

Liz was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the darkened television, right where I’d left her. She still hadn’t reacted to the day’s events, opting to remain strangely quiet.

I dropped the bags on the table and scratched my eyebrow. “I thought you were gonna get some rest, Parker.” She shook her head, gripping her knees.

“I was waiting for you.” Standing, she strode toward me, lifting her arm from her side. Her hand covered the side of my face, and warm heat spread through my skin, tinged with her worry. When the dull ache had stopped, her fingertips massaged my cheek, and she drew in a shaky breath.

A smile tugged at one corner of my mouth. “I brought ice for that, you know.” I covered her hand with mine, lifting it off my face, and kissed her forehead. “Hungry?”

“A little.” She gave me a tremulous smile. “You’re the one who should rest.”

I shrugged, taking the hot dogs out of the grease-splotched bag. “Sleep is overrated.” She smirked at me, crossing her arms, and cocked up an eyebrow.

<i>Damn, she’s getting really good at that.</i>

“Michael, you haven’t slept in almost two days.”

I set her hot dog on the table, tossing her some ketchup, and pulled a bottle of Tabasco out of my pocket, dousing my food.

“Would it help if I tucked you in?” Her voice was low and husky, seductive, and my hand froze, the hot dog halfway to my mouth. I tried to respond, but my voice croaked out some unintelligible sound, and I cleared my throat hard.

“Um, Liz…” My thoughts were jumbled, and my body wasn’t cooperating, every nerve responding to the unspoken promise in her voice.

I was snapped out of my daze once my brain processed her laughter. Her face was red, her hand clamped over her mouth, and her shoulders were shaking. I briefly considered throwing my dinner at her.

“Laugh it up, Parker.” She struggled to calm down, her delirious giggles turning into hiccups. “Just remember, payback’s a bitch.”

She sobered completely then. “Seriously, you should get some sleep. I know we don’t get sick, but it’s still not healthy, Michael. You’re tired.”

I motioned toward her food. “Eat. We’ve got plans.”

Ignoring her look of confusion, I smirked and turned back to my dinner.

-----

We wound our way through the loud, smoky casino at Fitzgerald’s, her hand in mine, and stepped out onto Fremont street. Liz’s eyes widened, and I laughed out loud.

The street was covered with a long metal canopy, trapping the brilliant light from the surrounding casinos, and night sky peeked in. Shops lined the street on both sides, and kiosks invaded the asphalt every few feet, selling everything imaginable. Music floated through the streets.

“It’s like a different world,” she whispered. She turned around in a small circle, taking everything in.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “But it’s not why I brought you here.”

Suddenly the lights snapped off, block by block, and we were enveloped in darkness. I could feel her tense, and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her to me.

“Watch,” I whispered. Everyone around us had stopped, anxious for what was to come.

There was a small flicker of light, and then the metallic track above our heads came to life. Laser-projected images danced hypnotically to Hendrix and The Who. She stared upward in wonder, and the anger and anxiety wafting from her began to dissipate.

When psychedelic flowers started to gyrate to the Grateful Dead, I raised my arms, locking them over her shoulders and around her chest. The connection drifted over us as she mouthed the words, and I could see her father dancing around the Crashdown kitchen, tapping his hands on anything within reach. I dropped a kiss on the back of her head as the first tear hit my skin, and she grasped at me, her small hands wrapping around my forearms.

She cried silently, her eyes never leaving the canopy. When the show was over, the street came back to life, flashing light bouncing off her hair. Turning her head, she wound one slender arm around my neck, pulling my lips down to hers.

I closed my eyes and licked across her lips, tasting her, the salt of her tears mixing with the sweetness of her mouth. She parted her lips, mating her tongue with mine in an agonizingly slow rhythm. I clenched one hand behind her head, and I could feel her fingers twist in my hair. She sucked my lower lip into her mouth, biting down gently, and I crushed her to me. Releasing my lip, she smiled against my mouth.

“Thank you.”

She turned in my arms, her head over my heart, and I held her, my eyes shut tightly, wishing time could stand still.


<i>Didn’t know I was lost
Until you found me
And it’s been a long time coming
Down this road
But now I know
What I’ve been searching for…</i>

-----
TBC

[Dimensia]

A/N: Sara, Michelle, thank you so much for taking time out to leave feedback, and thanks to everyone reading. Hope you all continue to enjoy the story.

-----

<b>CHAPTER NINE » </b><i>Dare You to Move</i>


Liz let herself into my room, while I knocked on the door of the next. Kyle answered after a minute, rumpled and groggy.

“What the hell? Do you know what time it is?” He brushed a hand over his face, yawning loudly, and I chuckled.

“Just making the rounds. How’s Iz?”

He stepped outside, holding the door open a sliver behind him. “Less than great. Don’t get me wrong, she thinks we did the right thing, but she’s worried, man.” He paused, running his free hand through his hair. “What if he doesn’t come back?”

I was silent for a moment, pondering. “I don’t know. I really don’t.” He stared at the ground, his mouth set in a grim line, and I swatted his arm. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Go back to bed before I have to watch you scratch yourself.”

He scoffed, kicking an invisible pebble with his bare foot, and looked up at me. “A selection from your fantasy file?”

“You wish, Fievel.”

He raised a hand in mock surrender, slowly backing into his room. “Hey, you haven’t gotten any in <I>awhile</I>, Goliath. I don’t know what you put in your spank bank.” Laughing, he closed the door in my face.

Shaking my head, I made my way next door, suddenly drained. Liz emerged from the bathroom as the door closed behind me, and I chuckled to myself. She had changed, and was once again sporting my t-shirt. The sleeves hung past her elbows, and the extra fabric was draped softly around her. She plopped herself onto the bed, one leg crooked underneath her, exposing a golden thigh almost to the hip. My legs ignored my brain’s instructions to freeze, and I stopped at the edge of the bed, looking down at her. She tilted her head back, biting her lip.

“Michael…” She started, then paused, her face pensive. “Is this a problem? I know we didn’t talk about... You know, <i>this</i>. Sleeping together.”

My eyes widened, and my mouth went dry. “Wha… What?”

She smiled at my baffled stammering. “As in <i>sleeping</i>, Michael. I know it’s something you haven’t done in awhile, but try to remember.”

<i>You haven’t gotten any in awhile…</i> My eyes snapped shut as Kyle’s voice taunted me in my head. “Uh, yeah. Just what I need.” I rubbed my face harshly. “Sleep.”

“I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable…” She was twisting her hands slowly, a frown darkening her face.

I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but the signature smirk won out. “I’m not going to attack you during the night, Parker.” Her eyes left mine, settling on the floor, and she nodded to herself.

“Good to know.” She bit into her lip again, and I mentally kicked myself. <i>Smooth, Guerin. Now she thinks you don’t want her.</i> My brain searched frantically for a way to repair the situation.

A low chuckle fell from my lips, and I trailed a finger up her calf. “It’ll be hard as hell, but I think I can restrain myself for the greater good.” I didn’t count on the jolt of electricity that shot up my arm as I rubbed her creamy skin, and I groaned inwardly at my choice of words.

She rocked forward, one leg bent on the bed and the other planted firmly on the floor. Her eyes flashed, their chocolate depths giving way to black, and the golden flecks in them stood out like stars in a barren galaxy. She brought her hands to my sides, and they ducked under my shirt, her thumbs tracing languid circles over my ribs. Her lips parted, drawing my gaze down to her mouth, and the tip of her tongue darted out to moisten them. I watched it travel along the full lushness, oddly jealous, and licked my own reflexively. I felt a swift tug, and clumsily lifted my arms as she dragged the shirt from my body.

My lips were on hers before the discarded garment hit the floor. I tangled my fingers in her hair, stroking her scalp, locking her head in place as I slowly tortured her mouth. My tongue followed the path set by hers seconds before, pleading for entrance, and she opened for me.

I searched the deep recesses of her mouth, and caught her moan in my throat before her tongue met mine. They danced expertly with each other, the pace increasing by the second, a sultry lambada becoming a frenzied tango.

Her small hands kneaded my back, sending powerful bursts of hunger into my chest, and my skin burned furiously in their wake. I pulled her tongue into my mouth, biting down lightly, then soothed it with my own.

The need to breathe was becoming urgent, but I held on, my need for her much more pressing. She tipped her head back, inhaling through her nose, her mouth never leaving mine. Then she was kissing me hungrily, breathing for me, dragging her nails down my spine. She swirled her tongue over mine, licking the roof of my mouth, and a primal growl reverberated through my chest. Her hands gripped my hips, squeezing the flesh between her fingers, and the kiss became frenzied, desperate. My hands fell to the small of her back, urging her closer, trying to steady myself against the dizziness that was creeping into my head.

Gasping, she tore her mouth from mine, and I barely had a chance to gulp down cool air before she latched her lips onto the side of my neck. Her tongue flicked over my ear, trailing a wet path to the base of my throat, and I moaned loudly, clenching my fingers at her back. Turning her head, she sucked greedily at my pulse, and my arms shot up, my hands clamping down on her shoulders as I shuddered.

A sudden shock of pain gripped my heart, and she winced and jerked away from me, a strangled cry escaping her lips. Through my haze, I could see her throw a hand behind her, halting her backward motion. Struggling to regain her balance, she finally sat heavily on the bed, her head hung, her face hidden behind her hair.

“Liz?” I questioned, moving to sit next to her.

She offered a faltering laugh, the dark veil around her head swaying as she expelled the breath. “I wasn’t expecting… You just startled me,” she said meekly, shaking her head. “It’s stupid. I’m fine.”

My heart was pounding wildly in my chest, and it had little to do with my dimming desire. Frowning, I slowly reached out and let my fingertips rest on her collarbone. She stiffened at the touch and quickly pressed a palm to my chest, and I grimaced as her pain rolled over me again. Not sharp as before, but a steady stream of dull, throbbing ache.

Brushing her hair behind her, I carefully rolled up the sleeve of the oversized shirt, my anger growing with every passing inch. Deep purple welts marred the otherwise flawless skin, near black in some places, ebbing out to faint blue as they faded at the edges. I could almost trace the blurred lines of his fingers. Fuming, I dropped my hand, clenching my fists, and my nails dug into my palms.

“<i>Goddammit,</i>” I growled, looking up at her. “Is the other side the same?”

She gave me a sad smile. “They’re like bookends. Gotta have a matching set.”

“Not funny, Parker.”

Her smile faded, and she pulled her hand away. “I know.”

“Why didn’t you get rid of them?”

Her fingers brushed along the bedspread, and she chewed the inside of her mouth. “I thought… This is far from over, Michael. Max has to know how far he’s taken this. Can’t go wrong with a visual aid.”

<i>Always the scientist.</i> The thought was bitter, and the anger flared again. “You healed mine,” I shot back, my voice hard.

“These are different, Michael. You know that. I’m the catalyst for all this. He says he loves me… He needs to see that <i>this</i> isn’t love. But I couldn’t let you be reminded every time you look in the mirror. You’ve had enough of that.”

She extended her hand, cradling my unblemished cheek, smiling slightly.

“You’re beautiful,” she breathed, caressing my skin. “But purple is not your color.”

There was an unspoken question in the connection, her energy softly begging for my understanding. I moved away from her palm, and disappointment flashed in her eyes.

“So I get to be reminded every time I look at you,” I bit out. “Stop being so damn <i>selfless</i>. He knows exactly what he’s done. You don’t need to stay black and blue to teach him a lesson, Parker.” When she didn’t speak, I broke the silence. “So you’re not going to heal them.” The statement was flat, since I already knew the answer.

She shook her head softly, looking down and pulling her hands into her lap. I laughed bitterly, dragging a hand over my face, and started to get off the bed.

“You can do it.” My body froze at her words, and my head jerked up.

“What the hell kind of sense does that make?!?” She flinched slightly at the volume of my outburst, and I heard a muffled tap on the wall that separated my room from Kyle’s. Dropping my voice, I questioned her again. “You want to explain that reasoning to me?”

She met my gaze, her eyes resolved. “I’m not going to heal them, Michael. But if it bothers you that much, be my guest.”

Blistering cold spread through my body. It chilled my blood, and my fingertips suddenly felt numb, pins and needles lurking under my skin. My mouth fell open, trying to form words, and I eventually ground out a reply. “You know I can’t.”

“No, I don’t. They’re not life threatening injuries, Michael, they’re just bruises.” Her voice remained steady, but one eyebrow raised slightly in challenge. “If you want them gone, do it yourself.”

“Don’t ask me to do this,” I choked out, closing my eyes. “I could… I’d hurt you.”

Her warm hand found my arm. “I’m not asking you, Michael. It’s your choice.” She pressed her fingers into my skin, and I felt her lips against my forehead, her free hand at the back of my neck. Soothing vibrations flowed through the small kiss, but they did little to calm the turmoil in my head. Her fingers teased the spot her lips had left, trapping the warmth in my skin, and the gentle waves grew stronger.

“Come on,” she whispered, her mouth still close to my face. “Bedtime.”

Both hands left me, and I opened my eyes to see her reaching down to my waist. She unbuttoned my jeans, slowly lowering the zipper, and I marveled at how innocent the action was just moments after desire had choked the room. Standing, I let them pool at my feet.

“I could have gone commando, you know,” I said tightly, finding my voice.

Scooting to the head of the bed, she smiled slyly. “I decided to risk it.” She pushed the covers down with her feet, tunneling into the mattress, and I chuckled before I could stop myself. One delicate arm raised from the bed, calling to me, and I took her hand as I slid in next to her. We huddled together, wrapped in each other, concealed only by the thin sheet, the bed’s heavy coverings tangled at our feet.

<i>No, I would not sleep in this bed of lies…</i>

The melancholy lyrics echoed through my head, courtesy of Isabel and her Rob Thomas fixation. My brain burned at Liz’s earlier attempt at a cover-up, and I cupped her face in my hands, bringing her eyes to mine. “I don’t need protection, Liz,” I said firmly. “<i>Don’t lie to me.</i>”

Regret bubbled to the surface, dimming her eyes.

“It won’t happen again, Michael.”

She snuggled into me, and I embraced the added warmth. We were quiet for awhile, my fingers absently stroking her hip, and I started to drift off. Suddenly she reached back, stilling the movement of my hand, and opened a connection as skin brushed skin. A peaceful energy washed over me, and I was surrounded by a faint, serene light. It pulsed gracefully, pushing the undeniable feeling of safety into every part of me.

<i>I am all that I’ll ever be, when you lay your hands over me…</i>

Her lips slid softly over my chest, caressing my rapidly beating heart at the point of impact, then curved into a smile against my skin. Teasing softness brushed my nerve endings as she started to speak, her voice soft.

“You trust me,” she murmured, wonder bleeding into her tone.

I smirked into her hair. “Unlike so many revelations today, Parker, that’s not a new development.”

Her smooth cheek nuzzled into my shoulder. “No, you trust me with your heart. Max, Hank, Maria, even Courtney… After everything you’ve been through, I know that’s not easy for you.”

<i>I tried to be more than me, and I gave until it all went away…</i>

“You letting me in, trusting me… that means more to me than you will ever know, Michael.” Pulling her head back, she sought out my eyes.

“But sooner or later, you’re going to have to start trusting yourself.”

Her eyes slid closed, and she tucked her head underneath my chin, her palms warm on my skin. I tightened the sheet around us, lost in thought, and soon she was breathing evenly in my arms.

A fierce wave of fatigue hit me, followed by a distinct pang of fear at the thought of sleep, of letting my guard down.

<i>And they’ll be no rest for these tired eyes…</i>

Reaching over her, I extended my arm toward the door. It expanded silently as it sealed, shutting out the moonlight that seeped underneath, closing us off from the world outside. I slowly brought my hand back to her waist, relaxing in her embrace, and let myself slip into slumber.

-----

There are many things I take for granted in life. Things I do like they’re second nature, that I know like the back of my hand. Things I don’t think twice about.

Waking up with Liz will never be one of those things.

The scent of warm vanilla greeted me as I stirred, burned into my nostrils, and I opened my eyes, only to find my face nestled in a soft crown of hair. My legs were tangled in hers, and my arms were wound around her midsection. Liz’s face was buried in my neck, and I could feel the damp spot, high on my chest, where she’d drooled during the night.

<i>Why do I think that’s cute?</i>

I loosened the arms at her waist, sliding my upper body back slightly, and looked down at her. Her head had fallen to my arm, her long hair tickling my skin behind her. That face that greeted me was nothing less than angelic, and even in sleep her lips were curved into a faint smile, the corners pulled upward as if on instinct. One arm was flung around my hips, resting south of my waistline, and the arm underneath her was bent between us, her palm flat on my chest.

Lifting my hand, I ran my thumb lightly over her forehead, moving down her cheek and over her upturned lips. My palm settled on her neck, my fingers curling into her hair, and I let my eyes fall to her collarbone, still violently purple underneath my old shirt.

I dragged my eyes over her face. Every inch was relaxed, in a state of complete peace, and she was still sleeping deeply, her chest rising and falling in perfect time with mine. Her soft words came back to me, amazed at my trust in her.

<i>She trusts</i> you, <i>idiot.</i>

Though I’d known it to be true before, the thought struck me like lightening.

<i>”You can do it…”</i> I hadn’t paid attention to the double meaning in her words then, but in the early light of day, the symbolism hit me like a ton of bricks. She’d countered my argument before I started it.

I snaked my hand into the loose sleeve, the skin of my palm settling over the bruise, and pushed all thoughts but Liz from my mind. Touching her here, her hand over mine, making that first connection. Her bare shoulders, shaking with laughter as I ground out an insult and Kyle spit his coffee all over a Formica tabletop. Her first bout with my t-shirt, the stretched neck revealing flawless skin, smooth as silk and the color of warm honey. A dim glow emanated through the shirt’s fibers, and heat seeped from my hand into her skin.

Shutting my eyes, I pressed my palm closer, and images began to flash behind my closed eyelids. Hundreds of tiny slivers of time, blinking furiously, recounting every time her skin had come in contact with mine.

The energy stopped abruptly, the warmth fading, and my eyes shot open as I grabbed for air. My gaze settled on my hand, still hidden beneath the shirt. I lifted my fingers from her skin, bringing them down to the hem of the sleeve, and bunched it in my fist before pulling it toward her neck.

All evidence of the bruise had been wiped away. Her skin was perfect. Untouched.

My heartbeat quickened, and I slid my hand over her shoulder and around her back, crushing her to me. I felt her fingers move on my chest, pressing closer, and she woke slowly. A soft moan fell from her throat, her lips parting, and she tightened the hand on my back. Her head tipped backward, her hair gliding over my arm, and I locked hazy eyes on her face. The smile hadn’t disappeared, and as her eyes slid halfway open, closing briefly again, a wide smile replaced the one she'd sported in sleep.

“Morning,” she mumbled drowsily, kissing my chin.

I captured her lips before she could move away, kissing her firmly, my hand rubbing up and down her spine. I dipped my tongue into the corner of her mouth, then languidly traced a wet path to the opposite corner. She trapped me between her lips, sucking insistently at my tongue, and waves of surprise became dizzying need.

Her hips ground hesitantly against mine, creating a wonderfully frustrating friction, and I pressed back, meeting her halfway. My hand crept up her thigh and underneath the shirt, never leaving her skin, and skimmed her ribcage before stopping to rest under the gentle curve of her breast. My thumb rubbed her skin idly, just below the nipple, and she gasped into my mouth. Her small hand nudged into my boxers, grabbing and releasing handfuls of skin as we writhed against each other. My heart started to pound loudly, filling my ears, and she pulled her mouth from mine, breathing my name.

“Michael…”

The pounding continued, and as she stilled against me, I realized that it wasn’t my heart, but someone at the door.

Growling furiously, I extended a hand and restored it to its former state, and it swung open on its own, a flustered Kyle on the other side. He jogged quickly into the room, oblivious to what was going on in the bed before him, and shut the door loudly.

“What?!?” I shouted, thoroughly agitated. He planted his hands on his hips, staring back at me, his voice grave even through its singsong delivery.

“He’s baaaaack.”

-----

I dressed quickly after my shower, while Liz was still in the bathroom, and made sure everything was packed, ready to go at a moment’s notice. I didn’t hear her coming up behind me, and nearly jumped out of my skin at her hand on my arm.

She stepped around to stand in front of me, rising on her toes and gently grabbing my face, pulling my head closer. My eyes slid closed as she inched toward me, and I felt her soft lips brush my eyelids, then let a warm kiss linger on my lips before releasing me.

I took her in as my eyes opened. She’d chosen a sleeveless shirt, and her remaining bruise stood in stark contrast to her newly healed shoulder.

“I couldn’t get to the other side this morning,” I said softly, already trying to clear my head. My fingers brushed the marred skin, and I took a deep breath in preparation. Her hand darted up to cover mine, and she shook her head firmly. I clenched my jaw and stared her down, waiting for an explanation.

A single tear slipped down her cheek, and she let it run its course. “I want Max to see what he did to me, Michael.” I opened my mouth to protest, and she covered it with a finger, silencing me. “But I also want him to know that you made it better.”

Her eyes searched mine, imploring me to comprehend the full weight of her words. Then our lips met again, and I couldn’t tell if the warm tears that fell were hers or mine.


<i>Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
Like today never happened…</i>

-----
TBC