A/N: Thank you both for the feedback. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.
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<b>CHAPTER SEVEN » </b><i>Hanging By a Moment</i>
Some time later, I made my way back to camp. Coming over a small ridge, I could see Liz and Kyle packing up the van. Isabel and Max were sitting across from each other at the picnic table, and she looked up as I approached.
Kyle called something out to her, and suddenly she was in motion, striding toward me quickly.
Her arm shot out when she was still a few feet from me, and as we closed the distance, she started to rub my face with her outstretched hand.
"What the hell?" She moved to the other side, applying gentle pressure, sweeping her fingers across my skin, and I could feel the slight energy she was using. "Iz, knock it off. What are you doing?"
Taking my free hand in hers, she lifted it to my line of sight. My fingertips were stained, almost black, and a layer of graphite coated my palms in random streaks. I'd swiped at my face harshly after my little breakdown, and I could only imagine what I looked like.
"Most of it's gone," she said softly, trying to meet my eyes. "Are you okay?"
Liz and Kyle were watching us now, and I looked down at my feet, letting my hair fall in my face, and nodded.
We walked slowly back to the rest of the group, my head still hung.
"You missed breakfast. I could grab you a sandwich or something... Hungry?" I shook my head in response, and we stopped near the van. I caught Liz out of the corner of my eye, staring at me intently. Kyle put a hand on her arm, turning her toward him, and I shot him a small, grateful smile.
Max jogged over, maps and notes in hand, and hopped into the driver's seat. Liz glanced at me over her shoulder, then climbed in beside him. I expelled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and squeezed my eyes shut, while Isabel grabbed my hand and led me into the back.
-----
<i>Any second now, I'm gonna scream.</i>
Isabel was trying to mother me, all whispers and hands and quiet reassurances. She and Kyle were sitting up, exchanging looks, and I was lying between them, getting frustrated with their silent conversation.
Finally I growled and sat up, my voice as hushed as my frustration would allow. "I'm not five, people. And dammit, I can <i>see</i> you. Why can't you just sit in the corner and grope each other like a normal couple?"
Kyle grinned and looked up at his better half. "Well if it would make him feel better..." She slapped him on the arm, and his smile disappeared. "Ow! You are getting <i>violent.</i> Not good for your karma, Princess." He looked back at me, exasperated. "Seriously, Conan, we're just worried about you. I didn't think your body was physically capable of producing tears."
<i>Breathe.</i> Breathe. <i>Do not throw him from the van.</i>
I glared at him, but Isabel did the vocal work for me. "Kyle, you are <i>not</i> helping."
I hissed out a warning through gritted teeth. "<i>I don't need any help.</i>"
They blinked in unison, wearing his and hers expressions of disbelief, and I rolled my eyes. "Jesus, you two are starting to look alike." Fed up, I dropped my head in my hands. "Can we at least talk about this <i>later</i>?"
Isabel nodded quickly, and Kyle relocated his grin.
"Now about that groping..."
-----
We'd been driving for a few hours, and Isabel and Kyle had fallen asleep in a tangled heap. Liz had drifted off in the passenger seat, her head turned toward the window, resting on her shoulder. I had shifted positions, my back against the door, staring at a discolored spot on the ceiling. My brain was in overdrive, and I silently prayed to Antar for the ability to mind warp myself.
We hit an angry patch of asphalt, and my head jostled forward and slammed back against the metal. Turning toward the front seat, I started to vent. "Jesus, Maxwell, were you <i>aiming</i> for the pothole?!?"
Then my eyes settled through the windshield, taking in the sight stretched out before us, and I bit back a groan.
"<i>That</i> is your top secret destination?" He smiled into the rearview mirror, and I had my answer.
<i>You have</i> got <i>to be kidding me.</i>
-----
I was still on him when the van stopped.
"What the hell happened to steering clear of big cities?"
By then, Isabel had joined in. "Max, this is not a good idea."
He took the keys out the ignition and turned in his seat. "Look, this is a tourist trap, not a hotbed of FBI activity. We'll only be here for a couple days. It'll be fine."
I blew out a puff of air, glancing over at Liz. She'd gotten a rude wake up call when the argument started, but stayed quiet. Her legs were pulled up to her chest, her heels on the edge of the seat, and her face was hidden by a long sheet of dark hair.
Shaking my head, I turned back to him. "Fine, Maxwell. We stay low, keep quiet, and leave <i>soon</i>."
"I wasn't asking for approval, Michael."
"Well you should have." We both turned shocked faces to Isabel, who was glaring at Max with Ice Queen perfection. "This isn't exactly backwater country here, Max. And you're not on a solo trip, this affects all of us. We had a right to know."
His face softened slightly, and he looked down at his hands. "Maybe I shouldn't have done it this way. But I thought it would be good for us. I mean, the first time around didn't exactly end well." He glared at me briefly, then looked back at Isabel. "We're here now, let's just make the best of it. Have a little fun."
<i>Fun. Somebody explain that one for me.</i>
Kyle chimed in then. "Sleep indoors?" I chuckled before I could stop myself.
"I reserved three rooms," Max answered. "I, uh, assumed that you two wanted to stay together."
Kyle leaned back and snaked an arm around Isabel's shoulders. "Can't let a good hotel room go to waste. There are lamps to be trimmed." She smiled sweetly, then elbowed him solidly in the ribs.
Smirking, I baited him. "I caught that show. The girlfriend review said 'overconfident and badly timed'."
He glowered, rubbing his side. "Everyone's a critic."
-----
Vegas. Fucking Vegas.
Max had us booked at a small motel just off the strip, and we'd barely checked in before he ran off with the van, mumbling something about supplies on his way to the parking lot.
Kyle opened the door to his room, dropping his and Isabel's bags on the floor, and then collapsed facedown on the bed.
"Oh sweet nectar of life, a mattress." I half expected him to start weeping. "Wait a second, does this thing <i>vibrate</i>?"
Rolling my eyes, I pushed off the doorway, walking the short distance to the next room. I stopped with my hand on the doorknob and turned back to his room, poking my head around the door.
"Hey. Pinocchio." His head came up to look at me. "I don't want to... <i>hear</i> anything from your side of the wall, got it?" Before he could respond, I went back to my room, kicking the door closed behind me. Instead of the metal click of the lock, I heard Isabel.
"Okay, Michael. It's later."
I groaned and duplicated Kyle's earlier swan dive, bouncing softly, my voice muffled in the bedspread. "Not now, Isabel." The bed shifted as she sat down next to me.
"What happened?" she asked quietly.
A hollow laugh vibrated through my chest, and I rolled onto my side. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
"Michael, you were gone for hours, and when you finally showed up, you were a wreck. You looked lost, confused. I could see it, from forty feet away, before Kyle even told me... "
<i>I'm really gonna have to do something about his mouth.</i> "Kyle doesn't know what he's talking about," I interjected. She looked away from me, playing with a string at the hem of her shirt. When she spoke again, I could barely hear her.
"Yes, he does." She raised her head slowly, almost reluctant to look at me. "Kyle can read auras, Michael."
Rolling my eyes, I pressed a hand to my temple. "Buddha?" She shook her head softly and replied.
"Powers. It's one of his powers."
"Bullshit," I challenged, disbelieving.
"I can't believe it took me so long to see it. He's always the first to know when something's off. Always the voice of reason, calming things down before they have a chance to get out of control." She gave me a small smile. "I kept wondering how he automatically <i>knew</i> when I needed him, every time... I should have seen it earlier."
I felt her cool fingers on my arm. "Think about it, Michael. The looks he gives you, the questions he asks, the things he says..."
<i>"You okay? You look funnier than usual..."</i>
<i>"I've</i> been <i>watching her, man. That's all I do!"</i>
<i>"Yeah, that's what I thought."</i>
<i>"She deserves to know... It's not like she's happy..."</i>
I shut my eyes and chuckled. "Jesus..."
She nodded, pulling her hand away. "Talk to me. I know what's... I know something's wrong."
<i>This is all wrong. The world has tilted on its axis and pitched me directly into the seventh level of hell. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was so careful. I didn't need anybody...</i>
Rubbing a hand across my face, I looked away from her. "It's cool now, Iz."
"Michael - "
"Drop it," I bit out, leveling my gaze at her. Hurt tears sprang to her eyes, but she got off the bed and made her way to the door.
Pressing her palm next to the doorknob, she took a deep breath and turned back to me.
"Don't shut her out too, Michael. I know you, and I don't need Kyle to tell me that feeling this way is killing you. But it's come too far, you've changed too much... You pull away now and you'll destroy her. She's your lifeline, Michael. The only way either of you are going to survive is together." She left then, the door closing softly behind her, and I was alone again.
-----
I was sprawled spread-eagle on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, when the phone rang. I picked it up in a daze, barely holding it to my ear.
"El Presidente has returned and requests an audience for the evening meal."
I blinked at the sound of Kyle's voice. "Huh?"
"Dinner, genius. We're going to dinner." When I didn't respond, he prodded me, his voice suddenly serious. "Uh, how'd the talk go?"
I grimaced, pinching the bridge of my nose, and answered him gruffly. "What, you can't see my aura through the wall?"
"No, but I can hear the bug up your ass. She's your sister, man, she cares about you. She just wants things to work out for you."
"No, she expects me to do something I can't possibly do. That road's not open, Kyle."
He let out an impatient breath. "Of course it is, Mufasa. You've practically paved the damn thing yourself. But the first step is the hardest one to take."
Brushing his comments aside, I sat up. "I'll see you outside in five." I didn't wait for him to respond, just slid the phone smoothly back into its cradle. Standing, I pulled back the curtains, and dim, orange light filtered through the window.
<i>When did the sun go down?</i>
-----
Ten minutes later, Kyle, Isabel and I were standing outside their room, Liz and Max still strangely absent.
"She'll be out in a second, she was just washing up," Isabel said, eyeing me carefully. I nodded, hooking a thumb inside my pocket. Then the van sailed into the parking lot, and Max hopped out of the driver's seat, uncharacteristically upbeat. Right on cue, Liz slipped out of her room and came up to join the rest of us. We stood in silence.
"So I assume you have a plan... Where are we dining this fine evening?" Kyle asked, clearly trying to cut the tension.
"The Hard Rock Cafe," Max replied, looking down at the small girl next to him. "Liz has always wanted to eat there." He'd clearly missed the pained expression that twisted her features at his words.
She looked up at him and managed a small smile. 'Max, I'm not really feeling well. You guys go on."
"Liz, you have to go, I've got it all arranged. It's going to be perfect."
Kyle shifted next to me, eyes slightly narrowed, his gaze moving back and forth between the two of them. When he spoke, his words were casual, but his voice was firm. "It's been a long couple days, man. Maybe she should just chill for awhile."
<i>He can</i> see... <i>Something's wrong.</i>
I inched toward him, whispering as quietly as I could. "What?"
"Panic," he whispered back, his voice low and hard. "He's losin' it."
Max had ignored Kyle's interruption, determined to change Liz's mind, and she was still declining as pleasantly as possible. Isabel had come up behind her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and was calmly trying to convince her brother that Liz needed some rest.
He wasn't hearing it. "Liz, we don't have to stay long. It would be nice to have a group dinner, we haven't done that in long time." He ran a shaky hand through his hair, and Kyle snapped.
"You've got a plan alright... What's really happening here?"
Startled, he turned to Kyle. "What?"
"This isn't about dinner. What the hell are you trying to pull?" Hearing the fury in his voice, Isabel started to back away, pulling Liz with her. "What's arranged, Max?" he continued, slowly advancing.
Flustered, Max stammered out a reply. "Nothing, I just meant - "
"You're lying."
His eyes darkened dangerously. "Back off, Kyle. You don't want to do this."
"Watch it, Evans. Jedi mind tricks don't work on me, I can read you like a book." Turning abruptly, he strode toward the van. "You went to get supplies, right? Let's just see what you picked up." The rest of us stood, frozen in place, as Max followed on his heels. He stopped next the door as Kyle crouched inside. "Well I see we're still out of Frosted Flakes, we're drastically low on peanut butter..."
"Kyle," Max snapped.
He turned around inside the van, and gave Max a fiercely hostile glare. "What's the matter, your highness? I was just curious as to what kind of supplies you were out in search of for three hours."
"I had some things to take care of."
Finally, Isabel found her voice. "What is going <i>on</i>, Max?"
"Nothing!" he shot out.
She shook her head quickly. "No, if Kyle... What are you doing, Max? You're <i>scaring</i> me. You're scaring Liz."
I looked down at the brunette in her arms, and fought the urge to wrap her in my own. She was staring straight ahead, eyes fixed on Max, her breath shallow and uneven. The sight of her alone was enough to take me from frozen to furious.
"Nobody's going <i>anywhere</i> until we get some answers, Maxwell." My tone left no room for argument.
His eyes darted back and forth between the two girls, shining with pain. "How can you not believe me?"
<i>Leave it to Max to try anyway.</i>
I answered for them. "Kyle's a good judge of character. We're waiting, Maxwell."
Dejected, he sat down on the edge of the van, and Kyle stepped down to the ground. "I thought, if we came here, if we did this..." He looked up at Liz. "That we could be happy again." She shut her eyes, shivering in Isabel's loose embrace, and Max started rooting around for something in the van. When he stood, he was holding a long, clear garment bag. The dress inside was long, simple, and white.
<i>No, no, no, no, no. This is</i> not <i>happening.</i> Clenching my fists, I could feel the muscles in my neck snapping to attention.
He walked slowly toward Liz and Isabel, who were still huddled together. "I wanted to do this someplace special..." Bending down on one knee, he held the dress out to her, a shaky smile plastered on his face. "Will you marry me, Liz?"
<i>Christ, Maxwell, can't you see she doesn't want this?</i> I shook my head, suddenly afraid of what her answer would be, but stayed silent, watching the scene unfold. Max, kneeling before her, smiling in spite of everything that had just happened. And Liz...
Liz looked like a deer frozen in the middle of the highway. Small and frail, dark eyes wide, staring at the headlights that signal impending doom. Had circumstances been different, I would have been laughing at her by now.
She stepped out of Isabel's arms to stand on her own.
"I... I don't want this," she stammered, echoing the words I'd thought in my head seconds before, so low I almost couldn't hear her. She still hadn't moved.
"Is it not right? I could change it..." Max trailed off, frowning at the dress.
She blinked then. Hard and long, and it seemed to give her strength. In that second, I could feel her steeling herself. She changed her stance slightly, squaring her shoulders and bowing her head to meet his eyes.
"No," she stated simply. "You."
He pulled his brows together in confusion, then shot her a clueless smile. "What?"
She took a long, solid breath, closing her eyes for a beat, and the voice that emerged was calm and clear. "I don't want <i>you</i>, Max."
I tried not to smirk. Yeah, she'd rediscovered her spine, but now was hardly the time for congratulations. Now came the pleading eyes and the puppy dog voice. It's what he always did, when they argued, when she didn't agree, when she didn't automatically jump to his defense... Sure, she'd said it plain, straight, and to the point, and any person with half a brain cell would know what it meant. But not Max, not when it came to Liz. I wondered for the millionth time how he ever ruled an entire race of people, already beginning to recite words I knew he'd say in my head. But then he did something I didn't expect.
He broke. If you listened carefully, over the dull hum of the streetlights, you could hear him shatter. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he fumbled through a string of incoherent whispers that couldn't get over the lump in his throat.
"Liz... I... You don't mean that, I know you don't."
She kept her eyes on his, but they had softened at his words. <i>She feels sorry for him. She's going to cave.</i>
I wanted to turn away, unwilling and unable to watch her give up her life again, but my head wouldn't move. I just stood there, staring at her, waiting for the inevitable. When she opened her mouth to speak, my heart stopped.
She spoke softly, as if she didn't want to startle him. "No, Max... You don't know <i>me</i>." I gasped in shock, and my pulse started again. At that, she turned on her heel and walked away, and I pushed a palm against her stomach to stop her.
"What are you doing?"
She looked up at me, jaw set, head tilted slightly, and locked her eyes on mine.
"Cutting the strings."
Then she brushed past me without a second glance, moving quickly in long strides her small legs shouldn't have been able to handle.
I watched her fade into the distance, her petite form blurring with the lights of the strip, then turned back to Max. The dress had slipped from his grasp, but he was still kneeling on the hard concrete, hands clenched at his waist and his forehead touching the ground. I stole a look at the others. Isabel stood off to the side, head raised to the dark sky, fists balled at her sides. Kyle was still perched at the edge of the van, half-hidden in shadow, one leg on the ground and the other bent on the carpeted floor behind him. I was surprised his muscles hadn't begun to atrophy. I turned around again, looking for any sign of her, and it occurred to me then that I hadn't even watched Maria take her third step.
Silently, I took one step back, my mind made up before one foot met the other. I did the only thing I could do.
I went after her.
-----
I found her on a bench outside Casino Royale, hands folded in her lap as she stared at the flyers for high-priced escorts that littered the ground. I didn't say anything, just sat down next to her, letting her know I was there. Someone hit a jackpot on the nickel slots behind us, and the building's open doors let the sound flood onto the street.
Sometime before sunrise, she slipped one of her tiny hands in mine. I squeezed a little, then spent the next hour absently rubbing circles along the back of her hand with my thumb while trying to fend off sleep.
The sun was hitting the mountains, creating hypnotic swirls of gold, red, and purple along the horizon, when she spoke.
"I hate this town." The words were quiet, hollow.
"Yeah..." I croaked out. "Who the hell gets married in Vegas, anyway?" I was trying to lighten the mood, and make small talk, all in one neat little bundle.
It didn't go over well, remind me never to do that again.
She was quiet for a minute more, and then looked over at me for the first time in hours. "<i>I</i> did, Michael. I got married in Vegas."
I frowned. "I'm not following."
She sighed, exhaling the whole world in one burst of air, and then met my eyes. "There's something we need to talk about."
-----
By the time her story was over we were nearing the motel, walking at a snail's pace. I hadn't said a word since she started, and as she wrapped it up, I was wondering what to say to her. Questions were battling for dominance in my head, resulting in a muddled confusion, and I was at a loss for words. In that timeline, she'd married Max, Alex was alive... And the world had ended.
<i>She gave up everything...</i>
On top of all that, I was terrified that the group would fall apart. That Max would lay down the law.
That Liz would leave.
We were milling around the parking lot when I finally spoke. "I've gotta go talk to him."
Her head snapped up. "You're not gonna tell him, are you?"
I took a deep breath. "Why didn't you?"
"I..." Trailing off, she hung her head, and I shoved my hands into my pockets, looking away.
"You were protecting him." I looked back at her, and she nodded, eyes still locked on the ground.
"There was no reason for him to know, Michael. It wouldn't have helped anything." She slowly raised her head and gave me a penetrating look. "That's still true, but I can't protect him anymore." Wrapping her arms around her waist, she hugged herself. "It costs too much."
-----
After dropping Liz off at her room, I went off in search of Max. I knew where he was before I ever laid eyes on him, thanks to a phenomenon I hadn't witnessed in a long while.
A very, <i>very</i> pissed off Isabel.
They were around the back of the motel, sitting near the deserted pool, squaring off like their lives depended on it.
"I cannot <i>believe</i> you did that, Max. What the hell were you thinking?!?"
"I don't have to explain myself to you, Isabel," he ground out. "It's between Liz and I, it has nothing to do with you."
She growled furiously, jumping up and plunging both hands into her hairline. "There isn't <i>anything</i> between you and Liz anymore. She walked away, she doesn't want to be with you. God, Max, <i>wake up</i>! She's not happy with you, and she hasn't been for a long time."
"Isabel - "
"<i>No.</i> You have got to let this go."
He looked away. "We'll work it out."
She sighed deeply and sat back down, her head in her hands. When she finally looked back up at him, her eyes were pleading. "Max, you proposed with a dress. Not a ring, a <i>dress</i>. She wouldn't even have been able to pick out her own wedding dress." Her voice was choked with sobs. "<i>You push too hard.</i> She has absolutely no choices. It's her life, Max, you can't live it for her."
She pushed herself up and looked him in the eye. "It's over. She doesn't want you. She <i>told</i> you that, you heard it from her own mouth." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Just let her go."
He backed away, his eyes never leaving hers. Slowly, he shook his head. "I <i>can't.</i>"
-----
<i>Shower. Long shower.</i>
I slipped into my room, peeling off my clothes as I went, and headed straight for the bathroom. Reaching into the stall, I turned on the water, cranking the lever as far as it would go. When I stepped in, scalding water hit my chest. I didn't flinch, didn't turn it down, just stood unmoving beneath the showerhead and tried to let the water wash away my anger.
When I emerged from the steam-filled room, a towel wrapped around my waist, I fought to adjust my eyes to the darkened room. Faint light seeped in from the open curtains, and Liz was perched on the windowsill.
"<i>Dammit</i>, Parker." Reaching down to the floor, I shoved my damp legs into my jeans. "How the hell did you get in?"
Staring out the window, she lifted her hand off her leg and slowly wiggled her fingers. I tossed the towel on a chair and made my way around the bed. Flicking on the lamp, I stood silently, waiting for her to speak.
"We went to Madame Vivian once, just before he came to me," she said softly. Understanding who she meant, I let her continue. "She read tarot cards for me. Told me that Max was different, a leader. I told her that he had a destiny, one that didn't include me, but she said he would choose me. He would choose <i>love</i>." She let out a hollow laugh, then turned her body toward me, talking to the floor. "And according to the cards, I was destined to be happy, to have this great intimacy."
She shut her eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and her voice fell to a whisper. "He saved my life, but I never promised him the rest of it."
Standing, she looked up at me. "She said that my future was clear. That I would be with my true love. She just never said that it was Max."
"Liz," I warned, shaking my head stiffly. "Don't."
She pressed forward. "We're <i>connected</i>, Michael. I let you see things inside of me that I've never shown anyone, and I know the opposite is true. Are you gonna stand there and tell me that it doesn't mean anything?"
The connection was one thing. I could refuse to acknowledge it, convince myself that what I felt from her wasn't real, that what I wanted wasn't possible. But hearing the words from her suddenly made everything tangible. "It means..." I swallowed hard. "We'd never been close. I thought we were, you know, becoming friends." My tongue felt thick, and I could barely get the words out. She stepped toward me, shaking her head.
"That's bullshit, Michael. You've seen everything. You've <i>felt</i> everything. Denying it doesn't make it any less true. I know you think you're protecting me, cause that's what you <i>do</i>. But you're trying to protect yourself too, Michael. And there's no reason to, not now, not from this."
Words floated around in my head. Slices of conversations past, echoing in my ears. While I was sketching, they'd sounded like Liz. But these whispers were different... It was me, my voice.
<i>”You can be special again...”</i>
"Would you open your eyes for a second, Parker? This is <i>me</i> you're talking to. I don't do dreams and promises and grand romantic gestures." I took a breath, trying to stay in control. "I can't give you that, it's just not in my power to give."
She shrugged, nonchalant. "I've had enough of that in my life, just doesn't do it for me." She moved impossibly closer, until I could feel her breath as she spoke.
"My eyes are wide open, Michael. You're not Max. I know that as well as you do. Don't make my decision for me. That's not what I want."
"Then what the hell <i>do</i> you want?!?" I was practically screaming in her face, anxious to put some space between us, but somehow unable to back away myself. My stomach was churning violently at her proximity, and the air suddenly seemed thin, but she didn't back down.
"You know what I want."
<i>”Anything is possible...”</i>
I gasped and shut my eyes, defeated. "Why?" I choked out, looking at her again, struggling with the words. "Why do you want me?"
I was shocked when she spoke without hesitation. "Because of who you are, and who I am when I'm with you. Because of what we could be together. You told me once that I was letting myself die... With you, I'm alive." She smiled brightly, and my chest constricted. "Forget promises, forget romance. This is about you and me, about being <i>happy</i>."
Her hand reached up, fingers grazing my cheek. "We can make our own dreams."
<i>”She's your lifeline...”</i>
Her eyes bore into mine, expanding to fill my field of vision, and for a moment I forgot to breathe. I was drowning in them, cloaked in the velvety brown tones, swimming from one fleck of gold to the next. My heart was beating wildly, and my mouth fell open, grabbing for oxygen to refill my rapidly deflating lungs.
<i>”The first step is the hardest one to take...”</i>
Then I reached out, crashing into her, and the world fell away.
<i>Forgetting all I’m lacking
Completely incomplete
I’ll take your invitation
You take all of me
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you…</i>
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TBC