In the Background (M/L, CC, TEEN) Spoiler Fic ~{COMPLETE}~

[Bordersinsanity]

<center></center>




Title: In the Background
Author: Borders
E-Mail: BordersInsanity@yahoo.com
Category: Spoiler/Song Fic. Max & Liz
Rating: YTEEN-TEEN
Disclaimer: I own nothing… Just wish I did!

Summary: Lots of songs… Each chapter is going to be another song. There is always music playing on the show and I am trying to recreate that feeling. Each chapter was written without the song and then the lyrics were placed in between the appropriate parts. Meaning, you ask? You don’t have to read the lyrics to have the story make sense, but it will help set Liz’s mood.

Ever wonder how Max and Liz end up in Utah?

Everything came from Spoilers.

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Part 1 – All You Want – Dido
Part 2 – Sick Cycle Carousel – Lifehouse
Part 3 – Come To Stay – Oleander
Part 4 – Turn Off the Light –- Nelly Furtado
Part 5 – In the End –- Linkin Park
Part 6 – It’s Been Awhile – Staind
Part 7 – I Shall Believe -– Sheryl Crow
Part 8 – Benign – Oleander
Part 9 – Wherever You Will Go –- The Calling
Part 10 – I’ll Be There For You –- Bon Jovi
Part 11 – Blurry –- Puddle of Mudd
Part 12 – Everywhere –- Michelle Branch
Part 13 – Live Your Life (Down) –- Tantric
Part 14 – Wouldn’t you believe –- 311
Part 15 – Giving in – Adema
Part 16 – Woohoo Song 2 – Blur
Part 17 – Short skirt/Long jacket –- Cake
Part 18 – The People that We Love –- Bush
You Don’t Know –- Econoline Cursh


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Part 1 — All You Want

“What do we do now, Max?” She just had to ask. It seems whenever I hear that phrase the outcome is not what I want to hear. I pulled away from Max knowing what he was going to say to his sister, Isabel and to everyone else. It wouldn’t be him if he didn’t. Always thinking about everything and everyone else, but not this time. This time he was thinking about himself.

“We find my son.” His son he says. I can’t believe he’s going to have a son.

That was two months ago and now here I am just sitting in my room contemplating what I’m going to do now.

I tune into the radio. “Here’s a request from a jaded dream girl. She didn’t want to tell me who the dedication went to, she just said he would know. So this song is for you mystery man. This is Dido playing All You Want.” I perked up a little. Even though I haven’t been talking to Max I have been. It’s really hard not to. I don’t know if he has been listening to the radio or if he is playing his CD’s. Isabel had said that he hasn’t been home lately, but she really doesn’t know much because she has been working at her father’s law firm.

<center>I’d like to watch you sleep at night,
To hear you breathe by my side.
And although sleep leaves me behind,
There’s nowhere I’d rather be </center>

I walk around the room listening to the song and replaying the events of last year. There had only been two times that I had slept with Max overnight. Once was when we were looking for the orb and the other time was when we stayed in the old beat up delivery truck when Pierce and his goons were chasing us.

<center> And now our bed is oh so cold,
My hands feel empty,
No one to hold.</center>

Stopping near the dresser drawers that had a few pictures on its top, I picked up the picture of the gang that was taken on a rare moment. If only things were different. Was the first time line really that bad? Yeah… There is no way that I could just stand by and let both Michael and Isabel die. But really, is it any better. I lost one of my best friends and lost the man that I was going to marry… It’s definitely a lose, lose situation.

<center>I can sleep what side I want,
It’s not the same with you gone.
Oh if you’d come home,
I’ll let you know that
All you want, is right here in this room,
All you want and all you need, is sitting here with you,
All you want.</center>

I haven’t felt right since that night Max came to me. I tried so hard to do what was right but I had failed. I have basically lost everything and everyone.

<center>It’s been three years, one night apart, but in that night you tore my heart.
If only you had slept alone, if those seeds had not been sown.
Oh you could come home and you would know that
All you want, is right here in this room all you want
All you need is sitting here with you.</center>

I get up and turn off the radio but I know what the rest of the song says. There’s nothing I can do to change the past. Nothing he can do to get the future back to where it should be. I made sure of that.

<center>All you want, I hear your key turning in the door,
I won’t be hearing that sound anymore
And you and your sin can leave the way you just came in
Send my regards to her I hope you’ve found that all you want
Is right there in that room all you want
All you need is sitting there with you, all you want</center>

I’ve been thinking for the last two months… Yeah me, Liz Parker, thinking. The end of the world came in the year 2014. There is fifty-two weeks in a year. Max came back from the future in October. It’s been almost a year. Fifty-two weeks of my life wasted. That leaves me with six hundred and seventy-six weeks left to live. That is if the world still ends at the same time… I might have more… and then again it might be less. Who knows? From this day forward I’m going to live my life as if there will be no tomorrow. Hold nothing back. I go to my desk and grab the pages and pages of print out. The translation of their book, it’s time for my daily ritual of going to the library and scanning the thousands of archives that could be related to anything remotely close to the subject of alien artifacts. You’d be surprised at what I found or maybe not… I really haven’t found anything. Nothing, zero, zilch… You get the idea.

<center>I’d like to watch you sleep at night, to hear you breathe by my side.

All You Want by Dido</center>

Why do I do it? Do you really have to ask? There is only one person that I do this for. Alex. It was hard to accept his death but that doesn’t mean that I have to accept that he died just so Tess could get back home with Max’s son. No. Alex’s life is worth much more. If it is the last thing I do I am going to find a way for Max, Michael, and Isabel to get home and to find Max’s son. That is if they survive the trip in the Granolith.

It could be possible. The book doesn’t really go into full detail but there is a loophole. I’m heading down the stairs and am almost out into the restaurant when Michael stops me. “Have you heard from Maria today?”

“No” I say. “She usually calls me at night after she calls you. Why?” It wasn’t like Michael to ask me, of all people, about Maria. We drifted apart when Sean said that he needed to leave town. That was what he was doing when Alex had died. He was trying to get the state to let him live on his own for the rest of his probation. They did and so he left. Maria knew it was because he liked me, maybe even loved me but he had the decency to let me go to follow Max. He had said that he couldn’t stand and watch me die. Maybe he was right. If I stay with Max I will eventually die.

“No reason. So, you off to the library again?” He says this while he looks everywhere but at me.

“Yeah. There has to be something in this thing.” I hold up the print out for emphasis.

“You know Liz. You don’t have to do this. I don’t think any of us really want to go there. After what Tess told Max I don’t think that we could make it alive for very long. It’s just best that we stay here.” He meant well, but I couldn’t let him lie down and surrender. There was too much at stake now.

“No Michael I do have to do this. This is what Alex died for; I can’t let his death go so easily. Besides, Tess knows where we are. There has to be answers to how long we have before they come back for you guys. I’m not going to let anyone else die because we underestimated her. No way.” I think I got my point across to him. He gave a weak smile and then turned back to the grill. “See ya.” I left it at that.

I walked through the swinging door and took in all the customers. I don’t know when I started doing that. It hasn’t done any good. Roswell isn’t that big and I don’t know everyone in town, but we need to. We needed to know the comings and goings of every Roswell resident possible. We had let the enemy in once; I wasn’t going to let it happen again. A few of the customer’s saw me looking at them and I acknowledged them... It never hurt to act normal instead of paranoid. That seemed to help a little. I had gotten good at knowing who they were. Even the tourists were easy to spot. After all I have lived here my whole life. What I needed to learn was how to spot the skins. Not that easy.

I headed outside into the sweltering heat. This summer so far had reached record highs and there was no reprieve in sight. The library was a good five blocks away. Before I turn to leave I look long and hard at the UFO museum. Max was in there. I can feel him. It’s amazing how the connection between the two of us got stronger the minute Tess left. She had to have had some kind of power that interfered with our connection. Another question that will go unanswered. The list was getting longer and longer. A truck drove between the museum and me. It was enough to make me go toward the library.

I had to stop by Kyle’s. He had once again pulled away from the group. I didn’t blame him but I still thought it was necessary to make sure that he was doing okay. I didn’t know how it felt to be mind-warped into carrying Alex’s dead body out of the house, and he didn’t talk about it. None of us did.

My mind tends to wonder when I am out walking. All of my senses are heightened when I am out in the open. That’s the paranoia creeping out. I don’t think I will ever be Liz Parker, smallest of small town girls again. The sprinkler is going on in the front yard. It looks like it has been going all morning. I knock on the door…

“Liz. What a surprise.”

“Hi, Mr. Valenti.” We can’t call him sheriff anymore because he never got his job back. After hearing him tell me that he wasn’t sheriff and seeing the pained expression on his face I made it a point not to call him sheriff anymore. It was one of the hardest things that I had done so far this summer. “Is Kyle here?”

“Yeah, come on in.” He held open the door for me to come inside. Looks like he is doing another one of his wood working projects.

“So, what’s this one going to be?” So far I think he’s made every kid at the Y a baseball bat. We all need to heal and if this is his way of healing, more power to him. Who was I to judge? No one, that’s who. I gave a small sincere smile. Standing in front of me was a man that we had all feared growing up and now we all considered him a good friend. He had lost his job protecting us. It doesn’t really matter who was responsible for him getting fired. We are all one. What one does affects us all, we just didn’t know it yet.

“Well, I’m hoping it’s going to be a oak dining room table for Amy, but I have a feeling that it will turn out to be another bat.” I didn’t want to tell him that baseball bats weren’t made out of oak. The wood is too soft, it didn’t matter to the kids at the Y they were happy getting their very own bat.

“Is it a secret?” The sheriff... I mean Jim… see there I go again. Old habits are hard to break. Anyway, Jim and Amy have been spending a lot of time together. I think that is part of the reason why Maria had to leave. I think deep down inside she still thinks her real dad is going to come back I’m not going to tell her any different. Look at me. I still think deep down that Max and I will get back together and everything will be back to normal. Ha! Keep dreaming.

“Yeah. I don’t want to get her hopes up about getting a new dining room table if it doesn’t turn out to be a dining room table.”

“I know what you mean.” Amy was like that. She would take anything from the man. So would he. You should have seen what he was wearing the other day when him and Amy came in to eat supper. Some god-awful shirt that she had sewn for him. The phrase ‘Love is blind’ comes to mind.

“Kyle! Liz is here.” I guess he didn’t want to talk to me anymore; either that or he wanted me to talk to Kyle. Speak of the devil.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” He was trying to be very strong. It didn’t work. I could see right through him.

“Nothing much. Just on my way to the library again. Wanted to stop by and see what you were doing later. I’ve been thinking a lot and I have something I want to do but if someone doesn’t go with me I think I will chicken out.” Please, please, please say ‘Do you want me to come?’

“So. Do you want me to come?” Yes! I could actually hug him right now but decided not to.

“Really? You would come?”

“What are friends for? Wait. It’s not like the time you came and ask me for a favor last fall. I don’t think I can do that again.”

“No. No. Nothing like that. I just need someone to hold my hand. I’m thinking about getting my belly button pierced.” I know Liz Parker with a belly ring. Never thought I would do something like that. But hey I only have six hundred and seventy-six weeks, give or take, to live.

“Really? I hear that really, really hurts. I thought getting my ears pierced really hurt. Have you seen the needle that they used to pierce your belly button?” He didn’t even wait for me to shake my head no. “Its huge.”

“Kyle you’re not helping. I thought you would come along for moral support, not to change my mind. I have been having enough of those thoughts running through my mind.”

“Okay… Sorry. What time?”

“I’m closing tonight so come by anytime. I have an appointment afterwards.”

“They give appointments for things like that?”

“Yes. I’m sure they take walk-ins too if you want to get something pierced. Maybe your tongue or…” I hesitated. I didn’t know if the next thing I said would keep him from coming at all.

“No way… I know you Parker and I’m not getting my nipple pierced.” I didn’t have to say it after all. I guess over the past year we have all gotten used to each other.

“I didn’t say it. Just remember you said it. Not me.” He was doing well.

“Guess what I finally did?” He had a smile on his face. It was something big.

“What?” I didn’t want to steal his thunder. Whatever he had done meant a lot to him.

He motioned me to follow him. I hesitated. We were going toward Tess’ room. No I couldn’t think like that. It was his old room. Yeah, that’s better. Right. “I finally did it.” He pushed the door open. I was amazed. “She had a lot of junk.”

“What did you do with it?”

“I packed it up and put it in storage. I didn’t want to throw it away incase there was something important in there. I had to get it out of the house.”

“I like the color that you painted the walls. I would have never thought of you as a ‘yellow’ boy.” It was a bad attempt at a joke. I couldn’t believe that he went through all of her stuff.

“It reminds me of the morning sun and helps when I am with Buddha.” I didn’t urge him on. I knew all too well what talking about things did to a persons will. This was his way of dealing. Who was I to judge? Once again, I’m no one.

“Hey. I gotta get going if I want to make it to a new book today.”

“Oh yeah. How’s it going? Found anything yet?” Nice try Kyle. I know you don’t want to really know.

“No, not yet. So, I will see you tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks Kyle.” I hug him. He took it and held on a little longer than was necessary. We all have our ways of dealing. I seem to be saying that a lot. “I’ll see you later. Your room looks great.”

“Thanks Liz.” It’s funny that what he said had more than one meaning. It felt good.

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[Bordersinsanity]

Part 2 — Sick Cycle Carousel

I left the Valenti household and went to the library. After spending all afternoon there I headed back home just in time to start my shift at the Crashdown. Michael had gone home and it was pretty quiet for a Friday night. I went from table to table and filled the condiments, made sure that a certain booth had plenty of Tabasco sauce on it. With it being a Friday night he might decide to come in. It didn’t mean I’d have to talk to him. Agnes could handle it. Boy I sure miss Maria.

As if she heard my prayer the bell above the door rang and I looked up. “Liz! I missed you so much.” She was beaming and looked more like her old self. She almost ran me over as she hugged me.

“When did you get back?” I looked at Michael. “That’s the reason why you asked if I had talked to Maria today or not.” I slug him in the arm.

“Yeah, she wanted to surprise you.”

“She did. Maria, you straighten and cut your hair. It looks great. You look great.”

“Thanks. You really like it?”

“Yeah. I like it. So what are you guys going to do tonight?”

“We’re all meeting here to catch up on some stuff. I couldn’t wait any longer I made Michael bring me over before I even unpacked.”

She hugged me again. “I gotta go. Mom hasn’t even seen me yet.”

“Oh, okay. See ya later.” She hugged me one more time and they both left.

The supper crowd was going full blast. All my tables were full and everyone was pretty much taken care of. I made another round with the iced tea pitcher to refill any drinks that needed it. Just as I was heading for the cash register to help check a customer out the bell on the door rang. Max and Isabel came walking in. Isabel waved, but Max averted his eyes to make sure as to not make eye contact with me. Man, life sucks.

“Hey guys. Someone will be with you in just a moment.” It amazes me how the prerecorded lingo flows out of my mouth no matter who it is. That comes with years of practice I guess. I closed the register and went to put the tea pitcher back on the counter by the soda machine. Before I could turn around Michael and Maria were there, sitting down with Max and Isabel. Boy I miss Alex.

I take a deep breath and start filling the drink orders. I don’t know what I was thinking. Agnes isn’t going to get that booth knowing that my friends are sitting in it. Thanks a lot. Three cherry cokes and one iced tea, I hope that is what everyone is still drinking. I place the drinks in their appropriate places. The Cherry Cokes for the three aliens and the iced tea in front of Maria. “Are you guys ready to order or do you want me to give you a few moments to look over the menu?” Yep, I’m in waitress mode. The waitress lingo just flows from my mouth and I don’t even have to think about it. I stand back and wait for their response and notice the song playing from the jukebox. Sick Cycle Carousel by Lifehouse. How appropriate.

<center>If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this?
Well here we go now one more time.</center>

“I think were ready to order Liz.” Thank god for Maria. If she didn’t speak to me I don’t think they would have ever gotten their order taken.

“Isn’t Kyle joining you guys?” I was just wondering because Maria had mentioned it earlier.

“He said that he would be in later.” Maria filled me in. “He said that he had to do something at the house and then he would be over before you closed down. What are you two up to?” I noticed Max’s look on his face. It pained him to hear that I was doing something without him. You would think that with summer practically over he would be used to it by now. Not yet.

“Nothing. I have an errand to run and didn’t want to do it by myself. What can I get you guys to eat?” I gave Maria an evil eye. They gave me their meal order and as I was walking to the food window I continued to listen to Lifehouse.

<center>I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground and
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I have tried to beat this.</center>

I brought the burgers to their table. “Is there anything else I can get you guys right now?” There it was again the waitress lingo.

“Nope” from Michael.

“Nope” from Maria.

“No Thank you” from Max.

“I think that will do it for now Liz. Thanks”

“You’re welcome Isabel. Holler if you need anything.” I turned and left. I went to the empty tables in my section and proceeded to clean them off. It helped to keep busy that way I didn’t have to hear them laughing and having a good time. Boy did I miss the old times. What I wouldn’t give to go over there and sit in Max’s lap. I shook my head and took the armload of dirty dishes to the cart and wheeled it back to the kitchen. The supper crowd was clearing out; it usually does about eight o’clock anyway. People on dates had to get to where ever they were going, while others without dates just went home to their solitude. I usually was like the last, but not tonight.

<center>So where will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good.</center>


“Lizzie?” Dad, great, what does he want?

I put on my sweet, innocent smile “Yeah dad?”

“Your mother and I are going out to the movies. You’re closing tonight right?”

“Yes dad.” He didn’t have to rub it in.

“I know you think that we have been tough on you the whole summer but it’s for your own good.”

“I know.” Don’t rock the boat. I don’t want to be grounded longer than necessary.

“I’ll see what I can do to change your mother’s mind.”

“Really? Thanks dad.” I lean up on my toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You guys have fun.”

“We will. Don’t wait up for us.”

“Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy… Dad.” I gave him a smile. He knew what I meant.

<center>I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time.</center>


I walk over to the booth that I been trying to ignore all night. “Can I get you guys some dessert or anything else?”

“No, we got to get going. We’re going to go watch The Other’s. Maria was kind enough to offer the information.

“Okay… Let me get your check and I will be right back.” I took some of the leftover plates that were on their table and then walked over to get their ticket. I only charged them for half of what they ordered. Hey, they are my friends and if I couldn’t shave a little off their check then what was the purpose for them to come in and eat here? I placed the ticket on the table and they divvied up their bill and left the money on the table.

“See ya later.” Maria called out.

“Okay… I expect a full report tomorrow morning. I have to hear what you did all summer.”

“You can count on that.” Michael, Maria and Isabel walked out the front door. Max had gotten up from the table and went to the restroom.

I finished cleaning up their table and was in the process of wiping it off when he sat back down again. “I wasn’t done.” He said.

<center>I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground and
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I have tried to beat this.</center>

“Oh, sorry. Let me go get you a refill.” I turned and headed for the soda machine. Leave it to Max to stay behind. Didn’t he know that I wasn’t ready to talk to him? Maybe he didn’t want to talk. Maybe he felt like a third wheel.

“You’re not going to the movies with the others?” If nothing else works make small talk.

“No. I didn’t feel like seeing a horror movie. Had enough horror this year.”

“Yeah.” I turn to walk away and tend to the other customers in the restaurant.

<center>So where will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this.</center>

It was practically empty now. I told Agnes to go home. There was no point in paying both of us to stay when one of us could handle it. I turn around and notice that it’s just Max and me in the front. Jose was in the back doing dishes. Great. No point in avoiding him any longer. Where was Kyle? I’m not waiting forever for him. If it is the last thing I do I am getting my navel pierced.

<center>Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle, yeah.</center>

The phone rang while I was sweeping the floor. “Crashdown, this is Liz. How may I help you?” Years of answering the phone.

“Hi Liz. It’s me; Kyle.”

“Where are you? I’ll be done in fifteen minutes and if you aren’t here I’m going by myself.”

“Look… I know I told you that I would go with you, but something big came up and I need to stay here with dad. He’s talking crazy. He’s decided that he doesn’t want to go back to work. He wants to get his buddies together and start up a band.”

“Has he lost it?” I know that was the wrong thing to say.

“Not completely, but close enough.”

“Alright, I will let you off the hook tonight, but remember you owe me big time.”

“Yeah, yeah… I owe you. Be careful Liz. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.”

“I will… what could happen to me here in Roswell?”

“You never know. Just be careful. Call me when you get back or if you want to come by if the lights are still on come in and show me.”

“Alright. I gotta go… Thanks for letting me know you weren’t coming.” I hung up the phone and sat on the stool by the phone. Max was still here. Kyle called and cancelled.

<center>So where will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good.</center>

I walked to the middle of the room. “Um… Max… “

“Yes.” He looked startled a bit.

“Did you by chance see Kyle today?” Something was up. It was too much of a coincidence to have Max sitting here and Kyle canceling.

“Yeah. I wanted to see if I could go through Tess’ things for some kind of clue, she had to know more than she let on, and I’m hoping that she didn’t think about destroying it when we left. She thought that we were going with her.”

“Of all people I thought you would be the last one to go through her things. I’m surprised. I thought I was the only one trying to get to the bottom of things.”

“You were for a long time, but then I started thinking about past events and your instincts were always right. You were right. I don’t know what keeps you here helping us but we owe you so much more than we can give.” He paused. It had taken a lot of courage to say those things to me. “I… I know you are going to go do something that you wanted Kyle to come with you for support. I… I was hoping that you would let me come. I want to be there for you. I want… no. I need to be there for you Liz. I need to make amends with you. If we can’t be friends then I don’t think it would do me... do us any good to stay in Roswell.” He squirmed in the booth. I had sat down on the other side when he started his long speech. I just stared at him. Everything that he was saying was what I was waiting for him to say, but it didn’t give me the sense of victory that I thought it would.

“What are you saying Max?”

“Tell me Liz. Is there any chance of us being friends again and I don’t mean friends that just say hi in the hallway or on the street, but friends that depend on each other and are there for each other?”

I started to shake my head no… “I don’t know. It’s going to take a lot of time, and then even after it is all said and done, I can’t guarantee that it will be like it was. Things have changed. People have changed. I’ve changed Max. I’m not the same girl that you once knew. I really hate to say this but my heart has been ripped out and stomped on by the one person I thought that would always be there to protect me. To love me…”

<center>Where will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

Sick Cycle Carousel by Lifehouse </center>

I take a deep breath. I had to go on. Get this out of my system. This was one of the six hundred and seventy-six things I wanted to do before the end of the world. I just never thought that it would happen so soon. “I still love you Max, but I don’t trust you.” I hold my hand up to quiet him. “I don’t trust myself. I know it wasn’t all your fault, believe me, I was a major factor in the events that led to the break up of us. If I hadn’t been so adamant about us not being together we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.” I saw Max’s reaction perk up.

“I know that I told you that I would never ask you this again, but why did you pretend to sleep with Kyle?

I stumbled on my words. What was I going to tell him? I stood up. I tried pleading with him with my expression. “I can’t tell you.” I got up and headed for the back to get the mop.

“Liz! Wait. I won’t ask you again. I trust your reasons. Whatever you did you did it for a good reason. It just pains me to see you take all this on your shoulders.”

“What do you want me to do Max?” I had the mop in my hands and started behind the counter. I hated mopping and to tell you the truth I did a half-ass job on it tonight. “What’s done is done. I can’t change the past. I don’t think I did a very good job of changing the future. What’s done is done and no matter what I want it’s not going to happen. We can never be what once was. I will always have to live with that but I will make sure that no one else has to live with that.”

“What do you mean you changed the future? How do you know you changed the future?”

“Nice try Max. I know. Believe me I know.” I put the mop back in the bucket and push it to the back room. I poked my head out the door and said. “If you still want to come along with me that’s fine. Let me change into some street clothes and we can go, but no more talk about what happened in the future. I’m not going to tell you. You don’t need to know what is never going to happen.”

“Okay, but can you tell me what you changed?” I shook my head no. He gave a small smile and I left him by himself.

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[Bordersinsanity]

Part 3 — Come to Stay

I headed up the stairs and grabbed a pair of black hip huggers I didn’t want anything riding up on my belly. Always thinking ahead. I threw on my new black crop top with the short sleeves. I tied on my black belt and threw on the black Doc Martens. The outfit looked like something Michael would have worn if he were a girl. The thought made me smile. It fit my attitude, a lot of things in my wardrobe changed from the bright cheerful colors to black. I shut the door to the apartment and headed down the stairs. Max was sitting on the last step. I wasn’t surprised. I knew he wouldn’t stay out in the restaurant by himself.

“Bye Jose. I’m leaving. Everything is done. I put the deposit in the safe along with the receipts. If you don’t mind locking up I would appreciate it.”

“No problemo senorita. Buenos noches.”

We headed out the back door. “Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry about it. If you have to know then I guess you don’t have to come. Otherwise we’ll get there when we get there.”

“Okay.” He held up his hands in self-defense. A car passed by with its window’s down, it left a song blaring in the wind as it went by.

<center> If you're sad and mad
But glad to be away and free
From all the pain you've known
Inside you feel you've grown
If you take your time
With every leap of faith you'll find
It's easier to grow
With every step you know
Come to stay or stay away
Come to stay or stay away</center>

We took a left off of Main Street and walked a few blocks south. There wasn’t really any parts of Roswell that were run down, but it helped knowing that Max was there just in case anything went wrong.

<center> If you take too long
pretending that there's nothing wrong
Don't waste my time 'cause I'll be fine
Either way you'll see
That who we are what will be
In the end it's time to show</center>

After fifteen minutes of walking we were almost there. I could see the rainbow neon sign that read ‘TATTOOS’. Although I wasn’t getting a tattoo tonight I would be in the near future. I looked at Max and we stopped.

“You’re not getting a tattoo are you?”

“Not tonight.”

“Liz. This isn’t like you.”

“How do you know this isn’t me? I told you Max before we left. The old me is no longer available. If you want the old me you might as well just turn back and go sit at the Crashdown and wait. I will tell you now you will be waiting for the rest of your life. I can’t be like I was back then. I was naïve and I’m not going to go back. Ever.”

“Okay Liz. I hear you. It’s just that it’s just going to take some time getting used to that’s all.”

“Fine. Now are you coming or going? I have an appointment and don’t want to be late for it.” I went ahead and left him standing there.

<center> Step up and let me know
Come to stay or away
Come to stay or away
I hope that you can see
Nobody loves you more than me
Come to stay or stay away
Away
Away
Away
While distance grows between us
Every step you take away you take a piece of me
If you say so long
Pretending that there's something wrong
It's all for naught
'Cause I forgot</center>

“Hey Lizzie. Glad you could make the appointment. I did some searching and think I came up with something you were looking for.” Sam was a good man. He ate at the restaurant quite often. That’s how I learned about his little business on the south side of town.

“Sam.” I acknowledged him. “Let me see what you found.” I had shown him a picture out of my grandmother’s book about the Native American culture. I was looking for something in particular that resembled something that kept on reoccurring in most of her research.

He held out a silver ring that held a single onyx bead that had an engraving on it like the necklace Isabel had found at Atherton’s home the first summer. “It’s perfect. Where did you find it?”

“There is a little Indian reservation out by Hondo that has a lot of artifacts similar to this. I took a chance with the black one. I figured it would fit into your wardrobe quite nicely.” He smiled. Sam was an older man almost in his late fifties, but he looked like he was in the forties. Well kept, salt and pepper hair. It used to be thick at one time but had been thinning lately on top.

“You figured right. It’s perfect.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I gotta do it fast. My parents are at the movies and I need to make sure that I am home before they get home. Remember there’s an extra fifty in it for you if you don’t mention a word about all the work you will be doing for me.” I smiled at him a little.

“Not a problem. Sit down let’s get this over.” I looked around to see if Max was coming. I could still sense that he was close but he was still where I had left him.

I sat down and held on tight to the arm of the chair. It reclined like the one at the dentist’s office, but the only difference was this one was black leather. The one at the dentist’s was a bone color.

Sam took a clear plastic bottle of alcohol and swabbed the area good, making sure that he got real good inside my belly button. It tickled a little bit and made me relax as well. He then took a brown, almost black glass bottle and swabbed by belly area once more. My guess was that it was iodine. “Don’t want you getting any infections because I didn’t do a thorough job.” He smiled. I smiled and began to get really nervous.

<center>
If in time you find
The only leap of faith was mine
Is it easier to go
Or say we'll never know
Come to stay or stay away
Come to stay or stay away</center>

Why did I have to be so hard on Max? Couldn’t I have kept my big mouth shut until it was over? As if he heard my thoughts the bell on the front door rang and in walked Max. A little pale, but hey, he was here. I smiled at him and held out my hand for him to sit and hold it.

“Thanks” is all I said to him.

“What are friends for?” He gave my hand a little squeeze and Sam did his duty. I tensed but it was over before I knew it. The last few bars of Oleander’s song were the only thoughts going through my head as the needle went in and the belly ring was in its home.

<center> I hope that you can see
Nobody loves you more than me
Come to stay or stay away
Away
Away
Away - yeah, yeah
Away - yeah, yeah
Away - yeah, yeah
Away - yeah, yeah.

Come to Stay by Oleander</center>

“You make sure to keep the area clean with alcohol at least three times a day.” I nodded and started to dig in my pants for the money that I owed him.

I handed him the money and he took it and shoved into his pants. “Is your young man interested in anything tonight?”

“I don’t think so.” Max quickly supplied Sam with an answer.

“So… Max. Do you like it?” I had both my hands in my pockets to push the front of my pants farther down. It didn’t really hurt but I knew there would be a time that it would.

“It’s cute. I never thought about it before, but it looks great there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. So does it hurt?” I took my right hand out of its pocket and fingered the ring. Testing the water so to speak.

“Not too bad. Are you sure Sam can’t do anything for you?”

“Yeah. Maybe next time.” He joked.

“Liz, how about I schedule you in for your tattoo in a few weeks. That way it will give you some time to heal before I have you laying on your belly for over an hour.”

“That sounds good. How does the end of August work for you? I get paid on the thirty-first.”

“The thirty-first it is.”

I turn to Max. “Would you mind coming and holding my hand again?”

“Not a problem. I think I’m free that night.” He took my hand and we headed out of the tattoo parlor.

“Thanks Sam. See you in a few weeks.”

“Nice to meet you Max. Keep me in mind if ever you want to add some art to your body.”

“I will.”

We left and were out in the street when Max turned me toward him. “You know I could have done it for you without any of the pain. All you had to do is ask.”

“I know. I actually thought about it, but then it wouldn’t be a true experience.”

“What’s the deal with all this Liz? Why are you doing things like this?” He pointed to the tattoo parlor for emphasis.

“There are things in life that people never get around to doing because death caught them by surprise. I don’t want to die and wish that there was more time to do the things I put off.”

“Liz…” Max had a worried look on his face.

“No, Max. I’m not dying anytime soon. I just want to have all my bases covered before I go.” A gave him a small kidding smile to ease him some.

He took my hand and I let him. He needed comforting as well as I did. It was nice. The night had grown a little chilly and I let go of his hand and started rubbing mine up and down my arms.

“Are you cold?”

“Not really.”

“Here.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we continued walking in silence.

We were in the alley behind the Crashdown and at the stairs that lead to the door to the apartment.

“Thanks Max. It meant a lot for you to come with me.”

“Not a problem.”

I started walking up the stairs and leaned over the railing “I’m going to try.”

“Try what” he said looking up at me.

“I’m going to try and be friends with you like we used to be. Give me some time.”

“Thanks Liz. It means a lot to me.”

“Me too, Max. Me too.” I continued up the stairs and quickly changed into my pajamas. It was going to be hard for mom and dad not to see the belly ring. I had to be careful.

Pajamas consisted of a black tank and a pair of Joe Boxers. Color? You got it. Black. However, they had rainbow happy faces on them. I turned the waistband down a few rolls so it wouldn’t rub on the ring. Sam did a good job. It didn’t really hurt that badly and the ring that he had picked out was perfect.

I had to go to Hondo to see the little jewelry shop. I made a mental note and added it to the list of things to do before the end of the world hits.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Bordersinsanity]

Part 4 — Turn Off the Light

I was tossing and turning in bed. I don’t know if it was because I was being cautious of the belly ring or what, but I couldn’t get to sleep. I got up and went out on the balcony. I lit the candles and turned on the radio. Nelly Furtado’s Turn Off the Light was playing.

I think I will always couple Nelly with Alex’s death. I went to turn it off but decided not to. It was her new song. I sat down and began to listen, really listen.

<center>It's getting so lonely inside this bed
Don't know if I should lick my wounds or say woe is me instead
There's an aching inside my head
It's telling me I'm better off alone
But after midnight, morning will come
And the day will see if you will get some</center>

I went back in and grabbed my journal. The last entry was prom night. After seeing Max kiss Tess I had left and went to find Sean. I don’t think I will ever look at a bowling alley in the same light again. Sean had been good for my soul, but now he was gone. I don’t want to fall back into the same groove as before.

<center>They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
And I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down
till' you see all my dreams
Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems</center>

I began to write down the things I had accomplished. I made a list.

Accomplishments:

1. Belly ring
2. Talked to Max

To Do!:

1. Leather
2. Jewelry
3. Self-defense of some kind

So far the list was short, but I had a few other things on my list that I didn’t exactly want to write down. Too incriminating if it were found out. I blow out all the candles and turn off the radio. With the journal in-tow I go back inside and lie back down in bed. Nelly’s song is still playing over and over in my head. Tomorrow was a new day.

<center>I looked above the other day
Cuz I think I'm good and ready for a change
I live my life by the moon
If it's high play it low, if it's harvest go slow and if it's full, then go
But after midnight, morning will come
And the day will see if you're gonna get some</center>

My dad banging on my door wakes me up. “Lizzie. It’s time to get up. The breakfast rush is going to be starting soon.”

“Alright Dad. I’ll be down in a minute.” I felt like I had just fallen asleep. Why does it seem like you just fall asleep right when you are about to be woken up? Who knows? I drag my tired body into the bathroom and take a moment to admire my new belly ring in the full-length mirror. It looks good if I do say so myself.

<center>I'm searching for things that I just cannot see
Why don't you don't you don't you come and be with me
I pretend to be cool with me, wanna believe
That I can do it on my own without my heart on my sleeve
I'm running, I'm running, catch up with me life
Where is the love that I'm looking to find?
It's all in me, can't you see, why can't you, why can't you see it's all in me</center>

I troop down the stairs while I tie my apron on. I’m late. Who cares? My dad runs the joint. I step through the swinging door and to my amazement Max is in his usual booth. I give him a quizzical look, and mouth ‘what are you doing here?’

He smiles.

<center>All in me</center>

Dad was right the crowd was busy. I got the counter. Lucky me. The counter usually moves a lot quicker than the tables. During the morning rush I thought that it was a little convenient for me to have the counter instead of my usual station. I guess Dad was still a little hesitant about Max and me. *Note to self – remind dad that Max and I are friends again. It had been a long, long summer without him in my life. Two months down and one to go.

<center>Where is your logic?
Who do you need?
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need? </center>

I finally had the counter in pretty good shape and made my way to Max. “What are you doing here this early?”

“Mom was making some kind of quiche and I didn’t feel like forcing the food down. I told her that I had plans with you today.”

“Really?”

“I think she was glad to hear it. She practically scooted me out of the house before I was dressed.” The twinkle in his eye was back. There he goes again. Screwing around with my mind. I don’t need this.

I get up and start back to my station. I turn and tell him that I get off at one. “Do you want to meet me here and then we can go to the library for a few hours?”

“Okay.” I hadn’t stopped for his reply. I knew what it was. By the time I was back behind the counter he was out of the booth and paying dad at the register.

<center>Follow me follow me down down down down
I do not need I do not need nobody</center>

The rest of my shift went quick. Give a person a goal to look forward to and time seems to fly. I had gotten off early. Surprise, surprise. I went upstairs to shower and change. I put on another pair of hip huggers. The basis to my wardrobe now… and put on the red bandana top and a flannel shirt over it. I had buttoned the flannel up but kept the sleeves unbuttoned. I didn’t want my parents to notice the ring. I was back downstairs sitting out front waiting on Max.

<center>Where is your logic?
Who do you need?
Where can you turn?

Turn off the Light by Nelly Furtado</center>

I hear the church bell’s ringing in the distance. One strike. I look up and notice Max in his dad’s rental car. Right on time. He gets out as I stood up. I noticed that he had a new leather jacket. God did he look good in leather. Just one of the reason leather was on my things to do list.

“Did you get a new leather jacket?”

“Yeah.” He straightened it out so I could get the full effect.

“I like it.”

“Yeah? I just don't feel comfortable in my clothes anymore. That was someone else. It's the past.”

“Where'd you get it?”

“This thrift shop in Hondo”

“Take me there?”

“Sure.” We got in the car and drove off. My list was well on its way of having a few more items moved from one column to another. .

The library would have to wait.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Bordersinsanity]

Part 5 — In The End

It didn’t take us long to get on the road to Hondo. Hondo. I shivered just a little. A dark memory creeping back to the surface. //Tess and I were sitting in Max’s jeep. She was in the process of mind warping Pierce’s goons to go to Hondo.// I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about Tess, not today.

<center>It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind </center>

“What’s wrong?” Great Max had noticed.

“Nothing. Just thinking.” I shifted closer to the window and rested my head against the warm window. The desert was dry and barren, just like my life, but it was all changing. I was making sure of that.

<center>I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know</center>

“So have you found anything at the library?” Small talk. Awkwardness. I hated feeling uncomfortable around him. What do I say? How do I act? What do I want to happen? All these questions were floating around in my head and he had to go and add another one.

“Maybe. I’m not really sure. I was going to research it today, but decided I wanted to do this first. Sorry.” I gave him a sympathetic look.

“It’s okay. I understand and maybe when we get back I can help you follow up on the lead that you have.”

“Sure” I didn’t want to give him false hope. It’s just that I think I may have found another key to the Granolith. I just wasn’t sure why there would be another one if the Granolith were basically a disposable piece of equipment. It just didn’t make sense.

<center>Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal</center>

“So what have you been doing all summer?” More small talk.

“Working. Brody gave me more responsibility. You are now looking at the manager of the UFO Museum.” He looked like he was proud. How weird was it to know that the man sitting behind the wheel of his dad’s car was an alien king from another planet. I guess he needed to take comfort in the little things. We all did.

“That’s great. I think. Where did he go?”

“Well, with the thing that happened with his memory retrieval device he decided that it was best to be closer to Sidney and his ex-wife. He thought that he had had a mental breakdown. Who was I to argue with him? He’s the boss. With Sidney being well and all I think he really wanted to have a fresh start with his wife. I guess having Sidney sick was the whole reason they were a part.”

“So he’s not even in Roswell?”

“Nope.”

“Did he by chance leave his alien room open for you to use?” It could be relevant in trying to find out information on a few things that were in the works.

“He did.” Max had a grin on his face. I’m sure he already knew that it would be helpful in pinpointing the specific’s when the time came for Tess and the rest of the bad guys to come for us. Yes, I still consider it US. No matter how hard we tried we will always be linked to the three of them… Always.

“So… How’s Isabel doing? I see she’s cut her hair and she’s told me that she is working for your parents. What’s that all about?”

I think I had hit a nerve. Max took a while to think about what he was going to say, or maybe he was trying to figure out how he was going to say it. I let him sit there and went back to looking out my window.

<center>Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go</center>

“She is working for them. I don’t know what possessed her to work for them; she knows nothing about the law. As for the haircut, I’m still not used to it. She says that she wanted to look mature so she could get the respect at the office. She didn’t want to be known around the office as Daddy’s little girl. She’s growing up.”

“Don’t you think it’s time that she does that?”

“I do.”

“I’m sure Alex’s death took its toll on her. Give her some time Max. We all need a little time.”

“I know.”

“Look at Maria. She did it. She looks great. She left Roswell for a few months and came back a new person.”

“Yeah, I know. Michael wouldn’t let me be while she was away.”

I slumped back into the seat and continued to look out the window. I didn’t know what else to say so I didn’t say anymore. Max continued driving. It just wasn’t the same. Nothing was. If only he wouldn’t have saved me that day in September. Sure I could have died, but it was worth a chance. I would gladly die if it meant that Max, Michael, Isabel, Maria and Alex would be safe for all eternity. I took a deep breath and blew it out. It was a way of relaxing.

“Are you ok? Do you want me to pull over to stretch a little?”

“Sure, if you want to. I have all day. Nothing too important waiting for me when I get home.” I gave him a false smile. I hated this awkwardness.

At the next rest area he pulled in. We both got out and went our separate ways. The rest area wasn’t the cleanest one. The pale yellow paint on the concrete walls was peeling off in thick patches. As I walked inside there was graffiti on the longest wall. Nicely done if you want to say so. They had plenty of practice. A neon green alien head was in the center. The words said, “They are out there!” If they only knew how true it was.

I did my business and after exiting the stall I went to the stainless steel sink. It only had one water control. Luke warm. The mirror wasn’t actually a mirror but a highly polished piece of stainless steel as well. Over the years of wiping it down with rough paper towels it was no longer useful. What will they come up with next? I undid my flannel shirt and examined the ring. It still didn’t hurt. That surprised me. I contemplated on whether or not to take the flannel off or not. I chose not to. I didn’t want to give Max the wrong idea. No, that wasn’t it... I didn’t want to be too forward. Me. Liz Parker. Being too forward. It was possible.

<center>I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter</center>

I pushed my hair behind my ear and then took it out again. That was another thing I wanted to change. I made a mental note to put that on my list of things to do. That action alone was a sign that showed that I was nervous. It could get us all killed in the future. I had to make sure that when the time came I was a blank wall to all those that didn’t know me. I rounded the concrete wall and looked toward the car. Max was leaning on the hood. God he looked good in leather. The flash of future Max went racing across my memory. I just stood there and stared.

“What? Do I have something in my teeth?” Max stood up off the car pretending to dig at something in his teeth.

“No. Nothing. I walked over to the Coke machine. “Do you want anything to drink?” I was digging in my pants pocket to get the change out for a Coke.

“No. I’m good to go.”

“Are you sure? I have plenty of change. You know that with me having to work practically everyday this summer I have coffee cans full of this stuff.” I pulled my hand out of my pocket and held a hand full of change up for emphasis.

“Yeah.” He didn’t finish what he was saying and I guess it was his turn to stare. I looked at myself and realized that the flannel shirt had fallen off my left shoulder and my bandana top had ridden up exposing my midriff. I was showing a lot of skin and I do mean A LOT!

“What… Do I have something in my teeth?” It was my turn to tease him. I pretended to dig at my teeth. Yep, we both had the same feelings for each other. No use denying it any longer. I just had one question for myself. When was I going to drop the badass act? The answer, as soon as I knew that we were ready for the shit to hit the fan. That’s when. I adjusted the flannel shirt and deposited the money in the machine and punched the button for a root beer.

<center>One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I</center>

I gathered myself and started for the passenger side of the car. “You can blink now.” I couldn’t help it. I missed where we used to be, and I liked the way he looked at me. It had been a long time, a really long time.

<center>I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know </center>

I drank some and placed the can into the cup holder in the center console. I adjusted myself in the seat and continued to stare out the window. Awkward silence once again. “So you said that you went over to Kyle’s to look at Tess’ stuff. Did you find anything?”

“No, not yet. I didn’t even get a foot into the storage room. I just stood there and stared most the afternoon. It was harder than I thought it would be.”

“I don’t mean to sound…” I was looking for the right word. There was no word that I could think of so I just blurted it out. “People are depending on you Max. You don’t have time to pussy foot around. There are innocents that could be harmed just by being in the same town as you, hell, the same world as you. What if the information that you put off finding tells you that Tess and Khivar will be back next week? What kind of leader does that make you? You have to push the personal feelings aside.” There I said it. It might not have been the best way of saying it but it got the point across.

I dared to look at him. He was gripping the steering wheel pretty tight, so tight that his knuckles were turning white. I undid my seatbelt and turned in the seat so I could face him. “I know I didn’t say that the right way.” I was prepared to go farther but he interrupted me.

“No. Don’t apologize. You’re right. Like always.”

“Max.”

“Stop it Liz. Comforting my feelings isn’t going to do us any good. You’re right. You aren’t the same person as you were before.” I turned back around in the seat and went to looking out window once again.

<center>I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter</center>

“Buckle your seatbelt.” That’s all he said. I did what he said and nothing more was said between us.

I ran the events of the conversation over and over again and I didn’t come up with an alternative way. Those things had to be said and if it made the distance between us bigger then it was bigger. No regrets. My new motto.

<center>I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

In The End by Linkin Park</center>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Bordersinsanity]

Part 6 — It’s Been Awhile

Hondo couldn’t come at a better time. Max dropped me off at the Indian jewelry shop while he parked the car farther down the strip by the second-hand shop. We had decided that we would walk from one shop to the other.

“May I help you?” It had to be an elder, an Indian woman she was. Long salt and peppered hair that was braided down to the tip. She was wearing faded blue jeans and a pair of moccasins. She was wearing a western shirt, like the one that I had seen Eddie wear so often in the visits with River Dog.

“Um… Yes. I was looking for something to go with this.” I lifted up the bandana top and showed the woman the belly ring. “The man said that he had purchased it here and I would like to see what you have in necklaces and bracelets to match.”

<center>It’s been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
It’s been awhile
Since I first saw you
It’s been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
It’s been awhile
Since I could call you</center>

“You have traveled a great distance to get to this place?” Her features were peaceful and caring. I didn’t mind telling here the information that she was looking for.

“No, not really. I came from Roswell.”

“No, child. I do not speak of a physical place but one that exists on another plane. You have gone through many battles at such a young age. It hasn’t been kind to you but you are a warrior.” Her words of wisdom surprised me. River Dog always had a way of doing that.

“How do you know?”

She smiled and giggled a soft giggle. I’m not really sure giggle was the correct word for it but it would have to do. Maybe a chuckle? “The way you hold your head and the way your body moves don’t represent the way your voice speaks for you. You are torn between to worlds, two destinies but they are one in and of the same.” I didn’t listen to the woman any longer. The word destiny never did me any good.

I interrupted the woman, “Maybe, but I was wondering if you have something that I would be interested in buying today?” The bell above the door rang. In walked Max. He didn’t have a smile on his face like he did the first time I saw him today. I had taken care of that.

“Ahh. This young man must be with you. You two belong together.”

“No, I don’t think so. Been there and done that and his destiny is much more important than mine is. I’m no one that he needs.” I’m sure Max didn’t hear what the woman had said but he might have heard what I said. It was too soon to see.

<center>But everything I can't remember
as f***** up as it all may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means</center>

“I see.” The elder started to walk behind a glass case that was filled with jewelry. “Your bead came from this section. I might have something else for you in the back excuse me while I go look.”

“Thanks.” Max was walking around the shop, basically everywhere where I wasn’t. I looked down at the rows and rows of jewelry. Nothing very interesting but I needed the woman to come back so she could pull it out for me to get a closer look

“Find anything yet?” I jumped just a little bit because I hadn’t expected him to talk to me.

“Not yet. She said that she might have something in the back that I would like.” I looked up at him. I really hated this distance between us. All I could do now was hope that things would get better.
<center>It’s been awhile
Since I could say that I wasn’t addicted
It’s been awhile
Since I could say I love myself as well
It’s been awhile
Since I’ve gone and f***** things up just like I always do
It’s been awhile
But all that s*** seems to disappear when I’m with you

“Oh.” He concentrated on the glass case in front of him. The Indian woman returned with a black velvet tray lined with a few necklaces.

“I think you might find something in this bunch that might pique your interest.” It was hard to tell what the woman was really saying. Her words so far had a double meaning to them. I think she knows more than what she wants to put forth. What? Me being paranoid? Nah.

“Thanks.” She set the black tray on top of the counter. It was a better selection. The first thing that grabbed my attention was a choker. It had a lot of black strands and in the center was a bunch of sterling silver beads that were etched with some interesting carvings. “Is there a history behind any of this jewelry?” I looked up at the woman and put a piece of hair behind my ear. I immediately took it back out. I really needed to concentrate on that.

<center>But everything I can't remember
as f***** up as it may seem
The consequences that I've rendered,
I've gone and f***** things up again. </center>


She smiled at me and then at Max. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering what the etchings mean. Everything in your culture tells a story. My grandmother studied your ways for most of her life. I was just wondering.” I don’t know why I wasted a smile on the woman, she knew me better than I knew myself. I wish that I had more time to spend with her.

I looked at Max he has a questionable look on his face. I’m sure he wanted to know what I was getting at. “You are correct, child. Much of our jewelry tells a story. This piece however, doesn’t seem to have much significance to our culture.” I didn’t believe her. I wondered what made her decide to start lying to us.

“I definitely want this one.” I held up the choker and tried to put it on. My hair was in the way and before I knew it Max was holding my hair up. “Thanks, Max.” I smiled a genuine smile to him. He smiled back. After I had the choker on he let my hair fall down onto my shoulders. His hands continued down my arms and lingered a little bit longer than I expected near my wrists.

The old woman had turned around while I put the necklace on and retrieved a mirror for me to look in. I ran my fingers up and down the beads lining them up and turning them so the etching was clearly visible.

“It looks good on you. It matches your spirit.” I looked up at the woman. She saw so much more in me than I did myself.

<center>Why must I feel this way
Just make this go away,
Just one more peaceful day</center>

I continued to look around and wandered back to the back of the shop. Max stayed up front with the elder. They had begun talking while I was still shopping. I wish that I could get some good information out of her. Maybe that is what Max was doing now. I looked back up front and they were too engrossed in each other so I turned and continued looking at another case. She was right, there wasn’t much in the cases that didn’t resemble anything in Grandma Claudia’s book.

<center>It's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
It's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
It's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
It's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste</center>


I was looking in the mirror at the back of the room when I noticed that both the woman and Max were walking my way. I continued to watch them head my way through the mirror. Max was now standing behind me with the smile from earlier on his face. The twinkle in his eyes was back.

“What are you up to?” He smiled again.

“I found something and I want to see how it looks on you.”

“Okay…” I grabbed my hair and pulled it up so that he would be able to get the necklace on. His hands felt warm against the back of my neck. The necklace was something that looked definitely Native American. It had several round silver beads and in places between them were longer cylinder shape beads to break up the monotony of it. There was a feather shaped stone of turquoise, burnt sienna, burgundy and white after one of the cylinder beads, then there was three more round ones and then in the middle of the necklace was an oval piece of turquoise completely surrounded by sterling silver. Once again, there were engraved feathers on the side of the turquoise stone that framed it. I let my hair down. Max’s hands were still resting on my shoulders.

<center>But everything I can't remember
As f***** up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me</center>

I smiled back at him through the mirror. “It looks good on you.”

“It does. I like it. Where did you find it? It wasn’t on the tray that she had brought out to me earlier.”

“I persuaded her to let me buy something a little more unique than what was being displayed. It just looked like something that would look good around your neck. It brings the attention of anyone’s gaze up to your face.” He had started to blush, I leaned back into him.

“Thanks, Max. I like it.”

The old woman cleared her throat and then she touched us. As she was holding both of our hands she began to say something. “There is too big a gap between the two of you. The universe is spiraling down to nothingness. Your minds are clouding what is in you hearts.” Her touch made my head grow fuzzy and before I could pull away I slumped down to the floor. I felt Max go down with me.

<center>It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been awhile since I said

I'm sorry

It’s Been Awhile by Staind</center>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Bordersinsanity]

Part 7 — I Shall Believe

~*~Dream~*~

The scene before me was one that I had tried to forget for ages. The time: October. Yes the old woman was forcing me to tell Max what really happened between Kyle and me. I looked around and yes, I was sitting on my lawn chair that always sat on my balcony and… wait. “What are you doing here?” Max was sitting on the ledge near the ladder that led down to the street.

<center>Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe</center>


“I have no idea. What is the woman trying to get us to do? More importantly how was she able to do what she did?”

“I don’t know what she did, but I have an idea of what she wants us to do.” He just looked at me, but something had grabbed his attention to the window. I turned my head to see what he was looking at. Me. He was looking at the version of me in a sweatshirt standing in front of my oval mirror pulling the lace runner over my head.

Max got up from where he was. He walked over to the window so he could get a better view. I stayed where I was. I knew what was going to happen. “What are you doing?”

“I, Liz Parker, take Max Evans to be...” The past version was right on queue. How embarrassing.

<center>I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe</center>


“It’s October, I have tried so hard to make you go to Tess. Maria had just taken us to see a psychic. Well, she had told me that you chose love over destiny, she told me...” I paused trying to remember what the woman had said to me. Then it hit me, clear as day. “You marry your true love. You have happiness. This card here? Intimacy, sex. You will not be left wanting.” I was a little red from stating exactly what the woman had said.

Max shook his head no. What was she talking about?

“This is the night that you come and serenade me.” The flash hits the balcony. Max almost fell over backwards but held his place. The scene unfolded in front of us. I didn’t know whether or not if we talked if it would change the effects of the dream.

“What the hell?” Max had said as plain as day. The future version of him didn’t even notice us.

“It’s you, from the future.”

“How do you know it’s me? How did I get here? Liz…” Max looked scared, but he quieted down to watch the show.

“No, no, I don't...I don't know who you are, but you...you're not Max.” I was running around the room looking crazy. It was almost comical.

“Liz, I know this is all hard to believe... “

“Wh-what? You expect me to believe that the...the Granolith is like some sort of time machine? “ I glanced over to where Max was sitting near the window. He was too enthralled in the scene that was playing out in front of him to pay any attention to me.

“It wasn't intended to be, but it does have an enormous amount of power, and we were able to modify it to artificially create a tear in time space. “

“No! No! There is no such thing as time travel, okay...because it is against every rule of physics, of reality, of everything.”

“Look, I realize this is overwhelming.”

“No, you're not Max, okay? You...you're like a shape shifter. You are like some other kind of alien, with, like… the ability to look like Max with that beard and those...and those gray hairs.”

“Do you really see gray?”

“This isn't funny, okay?” I was now standing on my bed looking at the future Max. God did he look good in leather.

“Is this real?” My Max was asking me. I shook my head to quit my staring at the Future Max in leather pants.

“Yes. This is what changed it all for us. This is what I have been keeping from you.” I shifted in the chair and took my attention back to my room.

“Hold on.” Future Max was getting ready to tell me what is going to happen next.

“No! Let go of me!”

“Liz...Liz, it's me.” The pain on his face was quite noticeable. I had seen that same look on my Max’s face a few times since.

“Please, just let go of me. “ I shook loose of his grip and step down off the bed. I straightened myself for what was to come.

“If I were a shape shifter, there's no way I could tell the future. In approximately ten seconds, I will show up outside your window and begin singing to you...accompanied by a mariachi band. “

“A mariachi band. Max wouldn't do anything that cheesy. “ I looked at Max. His eyes didn’t move from the scene. He had wanted to know what changed my mind for so long and here he was getting his answer in person.

“3...2...1. “ Nothing happened.

“Well? “

“I said approximately. “ Even in that time of desperation Max was able to keep things light for me. He must have really loved his Liz.

Music starts down on the street. Max gets up and walks over to the wall and looks down. “It’s me… again.” Yeah, this was getting too weird. There were now three different versions of the same man.

The past version of me and the future version of Max are now out on the balcony.

<center>That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe</center>

“I spent a week learning the lyrics from Mr. Delgado at the hardware store.”

Past Max and his mariachi buddies start singing to the past me in Spanish.

“Wow, that's really embarrassing. “ She said.

“I know...but I had to do something to get your attention. You had shut me out.

Past Max throws up a bouquet of red roses to her.

“As I threw the flowers up to you, I remembered you preferred white roses.

The roses change from red to white as they are in the air. She catches them.

“Why are you here? “ She asks the future version of Max while she smells the roses.

“I can't tell you too much, Liz...only what you need to know...but fourteen years from now, we are taken over by our enemies.”

“Uh, who's taken over?”

“Everyone. Earth. I need you to help me keep that from happening. We need to change the future. What we do here has to be precise and surgical. No one can know I'm here, especially not me...that is, my younger self. “

“Uh, what is it you want to... “

“Not now...your dad's coming. “ It was amazing that in a fourteen-year time span he still remembered when my dad walks in. I never really thought about it, Max had remembered almost everything that had ever happened between us.

My dad knocks on the door and enters the room to find out what all the noise is about, he ends out on the balcony with the rest of us.

<center>Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key</center>

“Lizzie? What the hell is going on out there? Is that Max again?” He leaned over the balcony “Max, is that you again? It's 11:00. Tomorrow's a school day... “ After he finished his speech he walked away, but not before adding “Aw, jeez. “ when he saw the flowers.

The past Max then walks away and the future version of him walks back into my room. He picks up the strip of photos that were taken in one of those photo booths the first fall that we were together.

The past version of me walks in and states, “That's private. Okay, I have some questions. “ When did I not have questions?

“I understand. “

“If you need Max to do something different, why don't you just go to Max directly?”

“It's complicated...but if a person encounters himself in another time period, there could be a...a reaction.”

“A reaction...”

“I don't entirely understand it myself, but Serena said...she's gonna be a friend of yours one day. It has something to do with quantum mechanics, but in essence, Max and I would both be destroyed if we actually came into contact. “ I still hadn’t met Serena. I wonder if I will ever meet her now?

“Oh. “

“Liz, what's about to happen over the next few days is critical to the history of this planet. Things between us are about to change...grow deeper. We become inseparable, and nothing comes between us ever again, until... “

“The...the end of the world? “

“That's right. “

“What happened? “

“The closer that you and I grew, the worse it got with Tess, and eventually she left Roswell.“

“Because of me? “

“Because of me, and how I treated her. And it turned out Tess was critical to our survival. The four of us - Michael, Isabel, Tess, and I...we made a complete unit. We all had different gifts, and with one of us missing, we weren't as strong, and everything fell apart. “

“So, um...you want me to help you and Tess get together? “

“Yes. “

“NO!” The present Max was standing up now. “This is ridiculous. I would never do this. I wouldn’t ever ask you to do this. This isn’t real.” He looked at me.

“It’s real. It happened.” That’s all I could say. He was still listening very closely to what was happening in the room.

“Why don't you just go to Tess? “

“It's you I trust. It's you I have faith in, and because it's not just about getting me close to Tess. I need you to help me fall out of love with you. “

The scene inside faded and it left Max with nothing to look at but me. “What happens next? Tess still left. Nothing I did helped.” Bingo! He now realized the agony that I had been living for so long. He was on his way over to me but the scene changed as if the powers that be were listening to him. Future Max and Past Liz where at the glass door at Whitaker's office.

<center>Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe</center>

“What are we doing here?” Present Max asked.

“This is where you go and meet Tess and then you catch me here.” I pointed to the past me talking to the future him.

“Good, you got her to wear that top. “

“Yeah, so you like that top? “

“Well, we have to...play every card we have. “

Past Max arrives promptly and sits down at Tess' table

“Here he comes. “ Future Max said.

“Just don't look at him. Let him come to you. Show him the book. Make sure he sees it. “ The past me was trying to coax Tess on what to do. I look back on it now and realize how stupid that was.

“He sat down. You got him to sit down with her. “

“Rah-rah... What? “ I started laughing. The present Max looked at me as well as the Future version.

“Shh.” Is all he said and I quit laughing. He had a right to quiet me down. He didn’t know what was happening and he didn’t want to miss anything.

“Nothing. It's just...seeing you at seventeen again is making it all come flooding back to me. How my stomach used to rumble every time I saw you. “

“So, um...did we get married? “ The present Max looked at me.

“Liz, you know I can't... “

“You...I know, you can't talk about it. I'm sorry. I know. “

“We eloped. We were nineteen. “

“We were nineteen? Wow, that is so young. That is too young. “

“That's what I said, but you said that Romeo and Juliet were even younger than us, so we drove to Vegas. Got married at the Elvis chapel. Congratulations, kids.“ Future Max’s version of Elvis was still cute. I shook my head. I couldn’t believe that I was looking back on these events without completely losing it. What was wrong with me?

“So we didn't have a real wedding. “

“Oh, we had a great wedding. You called Maria, Michael, Isabel, and Alex, and had them meet us halfway. We spent the whole night singing and dancing in some dive outside Phoenix, and at the end of the night, "I Shall Believe" came on the radio. “

“I love that song. “

“I know. Everyone else was exhausted, but not us. Oh, we danced...just the two of us. And ever since then, it's been our song. “

“If this works...I'm not gonna have that day. “

“No, you won't. “

“Then what happens to you if we succeed? I...I mean you, the future version of you? “ Give it to me I could always move on to the scientific point of any situation. I know now that it was just my way of making sure that Future Max didn’t hurt anymore than what he was already. It had to be hard on him to get me to do this. If this works he’s not ever going to be back with his Liz ever again.

“If we succeed in changing history, a different version of the future will take place. All the events that led to who I am fourteen years from now will be different. The man I am now will cease to exist. “

“Get outta here. “ The past version of me sees the past version of Max coming towards Whitaker’s office. Future Max leaves and hides in Whitaker’s office.

“Max. “ Why didn’t I hide? Fool.

“Were you watching? “

“Um... “ I was never any good at lying. Especially to Max, but that had changed I had been lying to him for almost a year now.

“So, it was all a setup. “ Past Max couldn’t believe what Past Liz was doing.

“Yeah. “ I couldn’t lie back then.

“You tried to get Tess and me together? “

“Look, I know that you must hate me right now. I, um... “

Past Max grabbed Past Liz and gave her a long, passionate kiss. I can’t really recall what flashes passed between us, but I know there were some.

<center>That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe

I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow</center>

“I felt that...and I know you did, too, and I know you think that...that I need to let you go...for the sake of Michael, and Isabel, and my race...so you went to Tess. But she can't be you. Tess can never be you. “ That was too much. Tears were beginning to roll down my cheeks. Max was still staring at the past scene that had taken place so long ago.

“Max, we have to stop this. We have to. I am telling you that we have to. “

“Go out with me on Friday. There's a Gomez concert in Santa Fe. I have tickets. “

“No. No, Max. I can't go out with you ever again. Please stop doing this. “

“I can't. “

The scene fades into nothing and Max and I are sitting in a black void.

“Is this what really happened that night. Everything that you did was because of me. You did it all for me?”

“Not really. There were other reasons why I did what I did.”

“Tell me.” Again the powers must have been listening and we were transported back to my room.

“You're supposed to be breaking up with him, not kissing him. “

“You...you kissed me. I mean...you know, he kissed me. “

“You're only making me love you more. “

“I just said no to Gomez. “

“You said no the last time, too. I didn't take no for an answer. “ I was hoping that this part wouldn’t show up, but no such luck.

“So we went to the concert. “

“No. The night of Gomez I came to your room. That's the night that things between us were cemented. “

“Cemented. So when you say cemented, you... “

“We made love. “ Present Max whipped his head to me. I looked away from his gaze. I couldn’t look him in the eye right now.

“No, no, we...we didn't. “

“Liz... “

“No, I have no intention of making love to you or...or anyone else at this particular stage of my life. “

“I beg to differ. “ He was so smug. At least he got to live that one experience. I probably will never be able to have it. Only in my dreams.

“No. Making love to you is the farthest thing from my mind. I...I don't even have protection.“ My past self fought valiantly but it was no point arguing with someone that already knew the future.

“I did. “ Future Max said.

“Oh, that's great. There you are, Max the Saint, just walking around with a condom in his back pocket. I...I...I don't even care what happened in your reality. I am not making love to you or anyone until I am ready, and I am just not ready. “

Max looked at me. “Max the Saint?”

“It was the only thing I could think of. Did you really have a condom in your pocket that night?” I had to know if it was real or not. There was always a possibility with the past experience with Tess that this could have all been a mind-warp.

“Yeah, my dad had given it to me when I first started high school. I never thought about taking it out. I really didn’t have any intention of doing anything with you that you weren’t ready for.” I gave him a sympathetic smile. My mom had once given me the sex speech and I knew where he was coming from.

He turned his attention back to the past.

“Liz, I am telling you what happened, and we have to change that. We have to. And so far, we've failed. Liz, its not just Max that's the problem here, you are. You are not letting yourself change. Now you have to do something...before it's too late. “

The scene fades out to the balcony. Past Liz is crying and Future Max is reaching for a tissue and his hand goes through the box.

“What...what's happening? “ Past Liz was rubbing her eyes as she asked Future Max what was going on.

“This must be it. What you did must have worked. I'm leaving. “

“What, so you're just...you're going back to where you came from? “

“No. There's nowhere to go back to. “ He grabs for the box again, but this time he is able to take hold of it.

“It didn't work. We have to do something else. “

“No, I...I can't. “

“You have to. “

“Do you know how hard it was for me to tell him that I didn't want to die for him? He's the only reason that I'm alive right now. You...you've...you gotta come up with another plan. Please go to someone else. I...I just...I can't do this anymore.”

“Just twenty-five minutes before I came here, I held Michael in my arms...dead. Isabel died two weeks before that. Now you have to do this. You have to find a way. All of our lives depend on it. “

“How? What can I do that's gonna make you turn away from me? “

“I don't know. “ The scene fades to the black void.

“Liz…” I had been crying and didn’t hear him move towards me. “Liz.”

“Hmmm.” I looked up at him. He was squatting down on the balls of his feet. His hands were on both sides of me holding onto the lawn chair.

“What happened next? Did I hurt you?” I shook my head no. “What happened next?”

“You know what happens. This is Thursday night. Gomez is tomorrow. I didn’t have any clue on what I could do to get you to go to Tess. I went to Kyle’s house after school and asked him to help me. He agreed.” Just as I was telling Max about how the events happened to lead to when he walked in on us, the black void turned into my bedroom once again.

Max turns his head toward the bedroom window. He sees Kyle in my room. Kyle is undressing while my past self is in the bathroom. The view switches to my scene in the bathroom. Future Max is in there with her.

Kyle said, “So...we haven't really, uh...talked much lately.”

Liz returned, “Yeah! How's it going?”

“Not bad. I found Buddha. “

Future Max was getting cold feet, “I don't think this is a good plan.”

Past Liz turned to Future Max and said, “What are you talking about?”

“You really think this is gonna work? I would never be jealous of Kyle.”

“Can you turn around? “ I don’t remember telling him to turn around. I can’t believe that I was so in control. I knew exactly what was going to happen. The past me started to undress.

I yelled out to Kyle, “So that's like meditation, right? Incense, that sort of thing?”

“It's really about approaching life through a spiritual place and becoming in tune with different planes of existence.” Kyle sounded so silly when he talked about Buddha, but we all have to have a way of releasing.

“What a line of crap.” Future Max didn’t trust Kyle as far as he could through him. I had to keep him quiet by giving him a look.

“Am I taking my boxers off? “ Kyle was willing to do almost anything that night.

“No. Undergarments stay on. “

“Right. “

“If he tries anything... “ It must have been hard on Max to stay in the bathroom while all this was going on. My Max would be showing up in only a matter of minutes.

I had to reassure Future Max. “I've got it under control. Please stay out of earshot.”

I walk out of the bathroom with a towel around me so Kyle doesn’t get a free peep show. The scene follows me. I look over at Present Max and his face is so unreadable.

“This brings back memories. “

“Kyle, we were never in bed together. “

“What? No. I'm talking about the towel. The "Y" pool, summer before last? “

“Yeah. “ Back when we were dating. How come I always end up hurting the ones I care about?

“Liz...I, uh...I want you to know that, uh...uh...I meditated on this entire situation, and I'm, uh...I'm at peace with it. “

“Oh. Uh...that...that's great. “ What else was I suppose to say to him? I had no idea. I didn’t know at the time how things were going to work out.

“So shall we hop in? “

“Yeah. Um, Kyle, look...I just wanna make sure that I...I...I made it actually clear that we're not gonna... “

“Consummate. I understand. “

“Right. And when we kiss... “

“No tongue. I'm on board. “

“Yeah. Okay. “

“I'm here to help. My body's merely a vessel. “

“Okay. “

“So Evans must have really pissed you off to get you to resort to something like this. “

“I told you I don't really want to talk about why I'm doing this. “ It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk about the situation; it’s just that I was afraid what my talking to people about things would do to the future.

“Jeez, I just figured since I'm giving you my last shred of dignity... “

“I...I really. I can't. “

“So...we have something in common. “ We have more than one thing in common. We both fell in love with an alien only to have that said alien rip our hearts out. Life wasn’t fair. I should have never brought Kyle into the picture.

“Yeah? What's that? “

“We, uh...we're the only two people I know of who have died and were brought back by an alien. “

“Yeah. You're right. “

“You feel different? “

“Yeah. Kyle...when he healed you, um...did...did you see things? “

“See things? “

“Flashes. Images. “

“No. But since he healed me, I keep getting these flashes of Max Evans naked. “

That was funny. Not as funny as Alex would have been but it was close. Kyle was now our only vent for jokes. He tried his best to keep things light, but no one would ever compete with Alex. I missed him so much.

“Feels good to make you laugh again. “

“It feels like this is the first time we've talked...since... “

“Feels good to do that again. “

“Yeah. It does feel good. “

Past Max shows up with the Gomez tickets in hand, just like Future Max had predicted. He sees Liz and Kyle in bed together and is stunned. I look at the Present Max and he is staring at the situation with great concentration. The Gomez tickets get dropped and Past Max leaves the rooftop. Present Max doesn’t turn to watch himself leave. I guess he already knows what happened to him that night. He must be more interested in knowing what happens to me next.

“Well, I guess it worked. “ Kyle’s voice didn’t sound as cheerful as I remembered it being. I just shook my head and rolled over while Kyle took the hint really well and got dressed and left me crying.

Future Max came out of the bathroom. “Liz… Liz… Are you Ok?”

I wipe at my eyes. “Yeah, Just let me get dressed and I will be with you in just a moment.” Max walks out to the balcony. I wasn’t worried about him peeking in on me. I trusted him. I went to the bathroom to retrieve my clothes from earlier.

After getting dressed I walk out to the balcony. Max is sitting on one of the lawn chairs, he looks up and says, “I've fought a thousand battles...but watching you do that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. “

“The look on his face...on your face. “ Past Liz started crying. I didn’t. I wasn’t going to cry anymore tonight.

“Maybe it's for the best. For you, too. “

“What are you talking about? “

“I saw you with Kyle. He's turning out to be a...a great guy. Maybe it would be better for you to be with a human. “

“Don't you realize what you are to me...and what you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you. “

They just sat there in the silence. I remember sitting there with him. I had pushed my Max away but wanted Future Max to take me with him. I didn’t want stay in this Hellhole that I had created.

“So Max and…Tess are going to be together now. “

“I don't know. I don't know anything now. This is a different world. “

“I'm gonna be alone. “

“Maybe. Maybe not. From now on, the future is to be determined. It's what I’ve always said to you, Liz. We create our own destiny. “

“Could you dance with me? “ I didn’t want to watch anymore so I turned my back and concentrated on the scene across my balcony. A brick wall… That was better than seeing him disappear from my life again.

“What? “

“I wanna have my wedding dance. “

I Shall Believe starts playing and I know that Past Liz and Future Max are dancing. He’s just about to spin me around and disappear when Present Max turns me around and kisses me.

The kiss is long and hard, like the one in Whitaker’s office. The presence of flashes isn’t there but the meaning is there all the same. He pulls away from me. “You were trying to keep me from finding out because you knew how I would feel about myself for doing this to you?”

I shook my head. My lips were still on fire from the kiss and my bearings on things were still reeling. “You take responsibility for everyone, Max. You couldn’t stand the fact that both Michael and Isabel were dead so you did the only thing you knew to do. I was there in the future. I was the one that made it possible for the Granolith to be used as a time machine in the first place so I don’t want you blaming yourself. Like I said before, I hold the blame just as much as you do. Don’t feel sorry.”

“That’s why you are researching so much. The end of the world is coming.”

“I was hoping that I could find some kind of solution before it happens.”

“That’s the reason for all these outlandish things you are doing.”

I shook my head yes. “In the first time line we had fourteen years. I don’t know how much time we have now. I don’t know if Tess knew about the Granolith when she left the first time, so our time might be a lot shorter now. I’m guessing five to ten years max.”

Max began to fade. “Max! Max!” and before I knew it he was standing above me and I was lying on the floor of the jewelry shop. “What happened?”

“You fainted. When was the last time you ate something?” I don’t know. I do know that I didn’t faint because I didn’t eat today. I didn’t eat on a lot of days and I don’t ever remember this happening before.

“I can’t remember eating today.” Max held his hand out to me so I could pull myself up. “Thanks”

“Are you sure you are okay?” I look back and forth between Max and the Indian woman. What did she do to me?

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” I start walking up to the front of the store. “How much do I owe you for the necklaces?”

“Nothing, all has been taken care of.” She looked at Max implying that he had paid for the jewelry. “Everything will be right in the future. Don’t fret over what has changed. Live for the now and for the new future.” I looked at her. She did do something to me, but did she do anything to Max. .

I look at Max, he didn’t look any different and his facial expression didn’t let anything out. “Thanks, Max. You didn’t have to buy them for me.” I had to see what he would say. If he said that he didn’t then I would know that he was actually in the dream with me.

“I know. I just wanted to.” Okay. This was really strange. Was Max really there? Does Max know what happened in October or was that just a dream that I was having? Maybe he would talk about it once we left the shop.

I shook the woman’s hand and said, “Thanks so much for all your help.”

“I hope that I have enlightened you child. You are strong as well as the ones you hold dear to you. They will understand and you must learn to trust again. Believe in yourself as well as the others.” Max was already at the door and was holding it open for me to leave.

“Thanks.” We left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Bordersinsanity]

Part 8 — Benign

The New Mexico heat has risen to make me immediately start to sweat the minute I leave the jewelry shop. I want to shed the flannel shirt but am a little bit uncomfortable with what Max might think about it. I push back my doubts and stop in the middle of the sidewalk and take off the flannel shirt. I take the arms and tie them around my waist being careful not to cover my new ring.

<center>Would it be so hard for you
To state just for the record
That you've done your best to do nothing at all
And that you stood around
And watched from every corner
As everyone around you hit the ground</center>

I continue to walk towards our destination. “What did you think about the Indian woman in the jewelry shop?” I kept on walking expecting to hear Max’s reply sometime soon. No answer. I start to state the question again and notice that he’s not next to me. I look back and there he is.

Standing about five feet back with a blank look on his face. “What are you doing back there?” I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle me without my flannel shirt. “Earth to Max. Max… I guess I better put my shirt back on if you are unable to function with it off.” That put some spring in his step.

“No way. Don’t you dare put that shirt back on, you look great!” He caught up to me and immediately took hold of my hand. I looked at him and he began pulling me towards the thrift shop.

The warmth in his hand was absolutely wonderful. I had to ask what changed his mood but didn’t because I already knew what had changed him. I stop him in the middle of the sidewalk and pull him to one side so as not to be run over by the people on the street shopping. “You saw it, didn’t you?”

“What?”

“Don’t give me that. You know it all now. Don’t even try to hide it from me.” I was not moving from this spot until he told me out loud what he knew.

“Yes. I saw what happened last October. The woman told me that she didn’t know how much you would remember from the dream and told me not to mention it until you did.” He paused for just a moment probably to gauge how angry I was with him. We were still holding hands so he must have taken it as a good sign and so he continued.

“When I was up at the counter and you were at the back of the shop, she started talking about the pain that was keeping us apart. I questioned her on what she was talking about but there was no use. She had left the counter and when she came back she had the necklace with her. She said to put this on you and all will come forth. I had no idea what she meant by her words. As you know they seem to have a double meaning most the time.” I smiled at him. Everything was going to be all right.

“Max… You know that this doesn’t solve everything between us, right?”

“I know, Liz. But this is a beginning. What I saw today told me what my heart has been saying for awhile now. I know I can’t take back my actions, but we can at least get pass them.” I knew what he was talking about. Tess… his infamous one night stand. “I saw the way I used to look at you, I saw the way you use to look at me. I want that again.”

I didn’t want to hear anymore. I started to pull him toward the shop. Max didn’t move. I looked at him. His grip tightened on my hand and we looked at each other for just one moment. His amber eyes were calling to me. I was only inches away from him and the force pulled our lips together. All thoughts of Tess and Future Max left my mind. The kiss was what we needed to bind us together forever. Or at least that is what I took it at.

We parted and once again my lips were on fire. I rolled my lips to rub them together as if I had just put lip-gloss on them. It was his turn to pull me to the thrift shop. He was almost running and I was behind him giggling. Yes, me, giggling.

<center>Would it tear you up inside
To take on the reflection
Of everyone around you that you know
Instead of getting by
With lying and deception
Of everyone around you letting go</center>

<center>All of this time
It's been benign</center>

We were in front of the store. “Are you sure this is a thrift shop Max?”

“Yeah, come on I’ll show you what I mean.” I didn’t question him, but there was no way that this was a ‘thrift shop’. It looked like some kind of store that belonged in California or New York. This was no way a thrift store. I guess if I kept on telling myself that I would begin to believe it.

He pushed open the door and I almost ran him down from the momentum that he had pulled me from. I didn’t expect him to stop as soon as he stepped foot into the store. I bowled into him and we both came crashing down to the floor. We were laughing. It was a deep cleansing laugh something that we had needed for a long, long time.

“Here” he held up his hand for me to take it. Once again he was helping me up off the floor.

“Thanks.” He continued to pull me up and before I knew it we were kissing again. It wasn’t as passionate as the one outside but good enough for me. God! I had missed his kiss.

<center>Only heaven knows
Only heaven shows the way
Back to everything you know and love
Only heaven knows
Only heaven shows the way
Back to everything you know and love
Everything you know and love
Everything you know and love
Back to everything you know and
All of this time
It's been benign</center>

Somewhere behind us someone cleared his or her throat. I turned around to come face to face with a young man dressed completely in leather. He was a little bit taller than Max and had dark hair that was cut short. The tips of his hair had been highlighted with blonde highlights and his hair had been heavily gelled to make sure that not a single hair got out of place. He had earrings in both ears and… is that eyeliner? Yes. Eyeliner “I welcome you to ‘Nothing to Hide’. My name is Todd and I will be more than happy to help you find the right piece of leather to fit your lifestyle.” Yep, Todd had probably worked here for some time. He had the lingo down pat.

I looked at Max and then turned to Todd. “Todd” I said, “I think we will look around for a little bit. If there is anything that we need assistance with we will get with you. Okay?” I waited for him to say something but he didn’t. He just nodded his head up and down. “Alrighty then.” I grabbed Max by his shirt that clung to his nicely sculpted six pack and we headed to the woman’s section.

This place was absolutely cool… I didn’t know what possessed Max to think that this was a thrift shop but I guess I would wait for him to show me his reasons. I turned to look at Max and out of no where these black leather pants came sailing through the air at me. I didn’t have enough time to put my hands up to catch them and they hit me in the face and chest. I knew I had made a ‘oomph’ sound when they landed on me and before I could take the clothes and put them in my arms Max was by my side.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just wasn’t ready to be attacked by clothes.”

“Go try them on.” He flashed his pearly whites on me. I had a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It has been a real long time since I last felt that. I know, I know. I’ve been saying that a lot lately. What can I say? It’s been a long time coming.

<center>Would it be so hard for you
To state just for the moment
That you've done your best to do nothing at all
And that you stood around
And wallowed in your splendor
As everyone around you hit the ground</center>

I head back to the dressing room. They took up the entire back wall. The stalls were in different neon colors and had black patches to look like cow hides. The one I chose was hot pink and had black spots on it. My black attitude was suddenly changing for the better.

I started stripping down to my undies but then remembered that I wasn’t wearing a bra. My top had a built in one. I looked at the leather shirt that Max had handed to me; and sure enough no bra. I shrugged and went ahead and pulled the shirt on first. You couldn’t tell that I wasn’t wearing a bra. You know me… not that big up top. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror and laughed. I really needed to get some new undergarments. The white underwear just didn’t fit my grown up attitude.

I put the pants on next. Black leather straight cut I never knew how comfortable they would be. The pair Max had thrown me had a black lining that went to about mid-calf. They fit well. I was surprised. Before I made my decision on whether or not I really liked the leather, I looked at the price tag on the shirt and just about had a heart attack. The shirt was one hundred and twenty-five dollars and the pants were almost two hundred.

I opened up the dressing room door and poked my head out. “What did you do pick the most expensive outfit out for me to try on?”

<center>All of this time
It's been benign</center>

Max was sitting on one of the cow print lounging chairs that was strategically placed for the waiting patrons. “Do you like it?”

“That’s not the point.” He got up and swung the door open so he could see how I looked.

“Stand up straight.” He demanded. I did. “Now, turn around.” I did that too.

“What’s next, roll over and play dead?” He took two large steps and was about as close to me as he could get. I put my hands up in self-defense and he took them into his own.

<center>Only heaven knows
Only heaven shows the way
Back to everything you know and love</center>

“I would never have you play dead unless it would save your life.” He was whispering in my ears. His warm breath sent goose bumps up and down my arms. My defensive arms relaxed under his methodical kissing. He let loose of my arms and then wrapped his around my waist.

Still wrapped in his embrace I looked up at him. His lips were moist and I had to fight hard not to kiss him again. I don’t think Todd would like us making out. But what he didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. I kissed him and as I did I wrapped my arms around his waist and started walking back into the dressing room. “I can’t afford it Max. This outfit is over three hundred dollars. I was hoping to get a little bit more for my buck.”

He followed me into the dressing room all the while he was kissing me up and down my neck. Goose bumps were at full steam ahead and my mind was reeling from emotional overload. “Are you sure it will be over three hundred dollars?” His hot breath made everything in me stand at attention.

<center>Only heaven knows
Only heaven shows the way
Back to everything you know and love
Everything you know and love
Everything you know and love</center>

I looked down at the price tags once more and I knew almost without looking that he had done his alien voodoo on them. “Max. Don’t you think this is over doing it?” His lips and hands were still working wonders on my body.

“I don’t think Todd will notice if we go up there doing this. Keep the clothes on though. You look absolutely beautiful.”

“So, that’s the plan. Make out in front of the cashier and hope that he doesn’t pay any attention to what he’s doing. Is that how you got your leather jacket?”

“No. I wish you were around to help me with it. Even though Brody gave me a raise and all it doesn’t support the leather.” More kisses.

My hands were rubbing up and down his chest. “I was thinking that you had gotten some hot little momma to come with you and help you with the act.” Me jealous? Never. Well, maybe once upon a time.

His lips were at the base of my throat and were slowly working up my jaw to my lower ear. “I don’t think so. You’re the only one that I have ever wanted to do this with.” He tore the tags off the clothes and then paused a moment so I could pick up my old clothes.

We walked up to the cash register linked mouth to mouth and I set the clothes on the counter and while I took a breath I said, “I’ll take these, wrap them up for me.”

Todd stuttered and he couldn’t take his eyes off of Max and me. He scanned the tags and when his job was done he totaled it all up. “That will be one hundred and five dollars and ninety-two cents.” I didn’t even get a chance to slap the credit card out on the counter before Max laid down two one hundred-dollar bills.

“This is on me.” He whispered in my ear and then continued down my jaw to the front of my throat and down the front of the strapless shirt.

<center>Back to everything you know and
Everything you know and love
Everything you know and love
And love
And love
And love</center>

“Thanks honey.” I tilted my head back to allow him better access to my neck and turned my head towards Todd the most helpful employee ‘Nothing to Hide’ had. I winked at him and puckered up my lips. “Thanks Todd. You were most helpful. Too bad you can’t wrap yourself up as well.” Max didn’t want to hear anymore and he wrapped his arms around my waist once more and started walking backwards toward the front door. It dawned on me though that Max forgot his change so I ended up pulling back to the counter, still lip locked. I grabbed the change from Todd and then pushed Max back to the door.

<center>Back to everything you know and love
And love
And love
And love
Back to everything you know and love</center>

The minute we were out the front door Max took my hand and we started running and laughing. It was a cleansing laugh. We were so in tune that it was unbelievable. When we left the shop we turned the wrong way to go to the car. We were coming up to the corner. A four way stop to be exact. I was a little out of breath; I’m not sure if it was because I was excited from making out with Max, or if I was out of shape. I decided I needed to add another thing to my list of things to do. Pick up jogging to get into better shape.

We stopped. I looked up at Max and then followed his gaze to see what he was looking at. There it was; a blue Pontiac with black soft-top. I looked back to Max. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Let’s go see how much they want for it.” He took my hand and then looked both ways before crossing diagonally across the street. Forever the boy scout.

<center>All of this time
It's been benign

Benign by Oleander</center>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Bordersinsanity]

Part 9 — Wherever You Will Go

We reached the car lot that was across the street. Max walked around the car and he took me with him because he had yet to let go of my hand. “I wonder how much it is?” He asked as we went around.

“I have no idea, maybe a couple of thousand dollars. I really don’t know.”

“Do you like it?”

“Do I like it? Yeah. It’s cool.”

I noticed a sleazy car salesman walking our way. The balding, short, skinny man and his tacky clothes started dabbing the sweat off his forehead the minute he walked out of the building. “Hi, isn’t she a beaut?”

“Yeah.” Max was standing up now after he was done peering in through the driver’s side window. “How much is it?”

“Oh, she’s not for sale. We just use her to bring in the customers. The engine is completely shot.”

“Oh.” Max looked disappointed. He continued to walk around the car the twinkle in his eye had faded some.

“Could I interest you in something else?”

“Umm. No thanks.” Max was next to me and he grabbed my hand and led me back across the street. I turned around to look at the car again.

“What are you doing?” I took a few hastened steps to get along side with him.

“We’re leaving.”

“What! Why?” He couldn’t be serious. I pulled my hand from his and we stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He was giving up so easy. I was beginning to think that nothing had changed at all.

“It’s not for sale.”

“Max. Everything is for sale. This is America.” I had placed my free hand on my hip while the other one was still toting my old clothes. “You haven’t learned anything have you?”

<center>So lately been wondering
Who will be there to take my place?
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a greater wave shall fall
It'll fall upon us all
With those dreams that are set in stone
Could you make it on your own? </center>

“What do you mean?”

“The dream Max. You didn’t learn anything from the dream that you shared with me about my experience with the Future you. The Future you wouldn’t give up this easy. What has happened to you? You can’t expect us to follow you if at the first site of a struggle you shrug your shoulders and walk away. Things have changed. There is a much greater risk than there was before.” I started walking toward his dad’s rental car. He infuriated me.

<center>If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go</center>

I walked by ‘Nothing to Hide’ and was almost tempted to waltz right in there and get a refund and tell Todd exactly what Max had done. In fact I think I will. I turned back into the shop and scanned the area for Todd.

He was back by the dressing rooms. I walked up to him bag in tow and started my speech, “Todd.” He turned and smiled.

“What you decided that you couldn’t leave without me after all?” Todd was giving me all the pearly whites and let me tell you it was another good asset.

I smiled. He certainly was cute, but I don’t think that I could ever be with anyone else. Max had ruined me for good. If that’s what you wanted to call it. “I ripped you off. I want you to do a refund and then charge me the correct amount.”

“Are you crazy? I was just coming back here to see how you guys did it… You can get a lot of stuff for dirt-cheap… Do you want anything else?”

“What? Are you crazy?” It was my turn to ask the silly question. I was totally focused on the situation with Todd and hadn’t realized that Max was now in the store.

“Yeah, we’ll take this jacket.” I turned and my temper just flared. What was he thinking? I’ll tell you what. He wasn’t. Max has totally lost it.

“What? I don’t think so…” I went to Max and pulled him aside so Todd wouldn’t be able to hear us. “You just going to switch the tags right here and now?”

He shook his head. “He won’t notice. He’s too busy being infatuated with you. God Liz, have you looked at yourself lately? Any man in their right mind would be hot for you.” I slapped his chest. “It’s true. Besides, I think you need a jacket like mine, so we can match.”

Who could resist him? I definitely couldn’t. “I can’t believe that you are doing this… This is stealing Max and I don’t want any part of it.” I looked at Todd. How can he be okay with it?

“It’s okay… This shop is a complete rip off… The mark up on this stuff is outrageous. Come up front and I will check you out. The boss is a real jerk anyway. I’ll just tell him that I bought it with my employee discount… Come on Liz… Take the jacket.” It was sort of convincing. What was I getting myself into here?

“Okay Todd, I’ll take this one too.” I handed him the jacket not even looking at the price tag… I knew Max had already done his ‘magic’.

Todd walked around to the register and looked at the tag and then looked back at us. “How’d you do it?’

I looked at Max and he didn’t look like he was going to answer so I took the liberty. “Oh, you see he’s an alien and they have the ability to change the molecular structure of things. It’s one of the reasons I keep him around. You never know when I will need something changed from red to blue or from short to long… It’s really useful.”

Todd’s face just looked at me like I was crazy. “Yeah, right. Like I believe that there are aliens. Next you’re going to tell me that he is actually from the crash in ’49.”

“I am.” I looked at Max. I was surprised. I thought for sure that he would be acting all crazy over me telling the truth. I’m glad that he didn’t make a big deal out of it. “We really need to get going sweetheart, we have a lot of research to do to find our ship. Keep an eye open for us Todd if you don’t mind.” That was just priceless. I never thought I would see Max Evans actually telling who he was in this lifetime. One small step at a time. That’s all I needed to do…

This time I was able to put the charge on my charge card. I smiled at Todd and gave him a wink… It never hurt to play the part that Max had so graciously pointed out to me. “Thanks sweetie.” I blew him a kiss and grabbed another bag and we headed out.

“Come back and see me sometime. You too handsome.” Oh my god… Todd was just too cute… I wonder if he’s going to get in trouble for today’s sale.

<center>And maybe I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a greater wave shall fall
And fall upon us all
Then I hope there’s someone out there
Who can bring me back to you</center>

We left the shop one more time. “Here I was playing this part of trying to be seductive and he was after you all along. How funny. Max… You going to go back and see him sometime.”

“Shush… I go for the opposite sex and then there is only one for me and that’s you.” He turned back and grabbed me around the waist. He kissed me and I was enjoying it way too much so I leaned into him and dropped my bags. Tongues going full blast we kissed on the sidewalk for a long time.

<center>If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
Run away with my heart
Run away with my heart
Run away with my love</center>

We were back in his dad’s car again. Even though we were having a good time I still couldn’t put it past me that he just walked away on the car. I looked out my window like I had done on the trip up here. Tossing the ways to approach the subject with Max I shifted in my seat.

“I know what you are going to say. I realize now what you were trying to tell me. You’re right. I left too easily. I don’t want to be like I was before and I really appreciate you calling me on it.” He reached over and grabbed my hand. My stomach started to rumble. Guess I was kind of hungry. I looked at the clock and realized that it was almost six.

“Do you want me to stop to get something to eat?” He had a look of concern in his eyes.

“No. We’ll be home before you know it. Dad is probably having a fit because I’m not home for supper. I appreciate it though.” He pulled on my hand so I would get away from the side of the door. He wanted me close to him and I was grateful for it. Even though the past two days have been good I still can’t get pass the feeling that we are still going to fail. I still hadn’t told him about there being another key to the Granolith. I’m not thinking about this. Right now is about Max and me. Nothing out of this world.

<center>I know now just quite how
my life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time</center>

I force myself to think pleasant thoughts. I would give anything for this moment not to end, but it inevitably will. We make a turn on Main Street and go the last few blocks to home. Max parks the car in the alley and we just sit there hand in hand. Looking at each other. There it is again. The awkward silence has returned. I look at his eyes. The twinkle is still there. I would give anything to know what he was thinking now. My eyes move down the features of his face. His nose. Perfect. His lips. Soft, moist and burning to be kissed. As if the forces of nature were pulling us together I leaned in and made the first move.

<center>If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

Wherever You Will Go by The Calling</center>

The kiss was hot and enticing. I could die a very happy woman right here and now. The world could end and I wouldn’t have been the wiser. Loving Max was what I was meant to do. Being with Max was what my life here on earth was for. Dying with Max is probably what I was destined for. He was the only reason I exist on this planet. The woman in the jewelry shop said that we had two destinies that were all in one the same. I needed to look into that option. I wonder if there is something in that stinking book of theirs. Maybe it was in Tess’ things. I needed to go with Max one day and take a look at it. Max wasn’t the right person to do it. He was too absorbed in his own feelings of betrayal that he couldn’t be objective.

Max had moved down my jaw line to my exposed neck. He knew my buttons and since we were in the seclusion of his car I let my moans escape. Just then there was a loud rapping noise at the window. We both startled loose and moved back to our appropriate seats in the car.

Great, it was my dad. I turned and looked at Max and told him good-bye. “Thanks for taking me to get some new clothes Max. I had a lot of fun.” I got out of the car and hurried to shut the door. I didn’t want my dad saying anything to Max about us making out in the car.

“Hi, Mr. Parker.” Great Max had to say something. Couldn’t he had just left?

“Max. I didn’t realize that you and Lizzie were seeing each other again.” He had given Max a stern look and Max didn’t back away. Go Max.

“Yes sir. I have come to realize that I love her and nothing will ever make me doubt that love.” My dad must not have liked what he was hearing and he hurried and shut the door. I was already at the back steps and was halfway up when I looked down at Max in his dad’s car. I mouthed “I love you,” and then continued my way up the stairs. The twinkle in Max’s eyes was enough for me. I didn’t have to wait for him to return the same three words. Today had been a good day.

I went straight to my room. I heard dad’s steps falling hard on the floor. He was mad. No, mad was too light. He was furious. “What do you think you are wearing?” Could he not tell?

I answered him. “Clothes.”

“You call that clothes. I don’t think so. What has gotten into you? Those weren’t the same clothes that you were wearing when he came and picked you up this afternoon.”

Observant he was. “No dad they aren’t.”

“What happened to going to the library. I’m sure you didn’t get your clothes at the library.” Da dad…

“No. Max picked me up and he was wearing a new leather jacket. I asked him where he got it and he told me at some thrift store in Hondo.”

He interrupted me. “Hondo. You know you aren’t supposed to go anywhere without letting your mother or me know where you will be.”

“God dad. I’m almost eighteen years old. When are you going to realize that I am a big girl? I’m no longer Lizzie the five-year-old. I’m Liz Parker adult!” I wanted to slam my door. Why not? I slammed the door in his face. “If you don’t mind I want to change into something that YOU can call clothes. If you come in here you are going to see something that you don’t want to…” Ha… I told him.

“Until you are eighteen you will obey my rules while you are living under my roof.” Where did parents get these stupid rules? Did it come in some manual or something?

“Fine.”

“Fine.” He stormed off. Needless to say I lost my appetite. I took off my clothes and hung them up neatly. My shirt smelled of Max. I held it up to my nose and inhaled deeply. Someone should try and bottle this stuff. I’ve seen the commercial for Irish Spring the one with Bob on it… I will forever put Max wherever Bob is…

I waited for my parents to go to sleep before I went do to the Crashdown to grab something to eat. I did this because I didn’t want to make a lot of noise in our kitchen. Besides I felt like eating junk food. My head was still swimming from spending the day with Max. I finished making a sandwich and grabbed a handful of chips and a Root Beer and headed back to my room. I wanted to go to writing in my journal about today’s events before I forgot about them. Tomorrow I needed to go see Kyle and see if he would let me in to see Tess’ things.

I looked at the phone and decided that I really needed some advice. Things with Max were going way too fast. What I needed was Maria. I dialed her number and no one answered. I dialed her cell and I got the damn recorded message stating that the cell phone customer is not available. There was only one other place she could be. Michael’s. I dialed his number and it rang and rang and rang. I guess they are out doing something together… and they don’t want to be disturbed. Just great! I’m in the middle of a crisis and my one and only best friend is probably banging her boyfriend. Life wasn’t fair.

I ate my breakfast, lunch and supper in about an hour. Between bites I wrote. By eleven I was done and in bed. My final thought for the day: Tomorrow was a new day…

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[Bordersinsanity]

Part 10 — I’ll Be There For You

I had fallen asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in almost a year. I take that back. I had a smile on my face the night of midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Other than that time this was the first time.

<center> I guess this time you’re really leaving, I heard your suitcase say goodbye.
And as my broken heart lies bleeding, you say true love is suicide.</center>

I had fallen into the dream plane and really looked forward to where the dream was going. I heard Max calling my name and had begun searching for him. I was in a dark secluded area. I didn’t really recognize anything and nothing was really familiar except the sound of Max’s voice. “Liz.” It was a soft whisper.

I called back to him. “Max?”

Again… “Liz.”

I rolled over in my sleep. I noticed because I had conditioned myself to sleep on my right side. Why you may ask? I girl has to be prepared when there are evil aliens out there and one of them hates you with a passion… I was slowly becoming a Boy Scout… ‘Always prepared’.

I heard my window close and I was instantly awake. I lay there on my bed perfectly still. I kept my eyes closed so I could concentrate. There it was. That smell. I began taking deeper breaths so I could concentrate on the smell. . I had a death grip on the knife that Max had returned to me right before he went to New York… That was my only weapon that I had but I was already working on something else… Those kinds of things take time… Anyway. You ask why I was concentrating on the smell. Well because I had to make sure that it wasn’t my overactive imagination running wild. My room was filled with the sweet, musky smell of Max. I loosened the grip on the knife. I knew who was at my window and was now next to me by my bed.

I decided to play along. He could think that I was still asleep. I wanted to know what he would do while I was asleep. “Liz.” His voice was soft and warm and the scent of him filled my nose.

I wiggled in my bed. “Oh, Bob.” I stuck my leg out of the covers and squirmed a little bit more. “Bob.” I breathed again. God what I wouldn’t give to see his face. What was taking him so long? Get on with it already.

“Liz. Wake up.” He nudged me… Couldn’t he do anything better than that?

“Bob.” I still acted like I was asleep. “Where are you?”

“Liz.” He was next to my ear. His breath was warm and made the little hairs on the back of my neck raise.

<center> You say you’ve cried a thousand rivers, and now you’re swimming for the shore.
You left me drowning in my tears, and you won’t save me anymore.
Now I’m praying to God you’ll give me one more chance girl </center>

I sat up. Rubbed my eyes and focused. I know he wasn’t Bob but he didn’t know I knew he wasn’t Bob. “Max?” Had to keep the story going…

“Yeah.” His facial features held a note of worry in it.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He was starting to scare me.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you sure?” I needed to be reassured that everything was okay.

He was now holding my hand.

“Yeah, I…Liz… Who’s Bob?”

“Bob? What do you mean who’s Bob?”

“Are you seeing someone named Bob?” That was pretty good. I didn’t expect him to come right out and ask.

“Bob? I don’t know any Bob. Why? What’s going on Max? You are starting to scare me.” Come on spit it out already.

“I had to come see you again. I had a wonderful time and I didn’t want it to end… Can you come out with me for a little while?”

<center> I’ll be there for you, these five words I swear to you.
When you breathe I want to be the air for you.
I’ll be there for you, I’d live and I’d die for you,
Steal the sun from the sky for you,
Words can’t say what love can do.
I’ll be there for you.</center>

“Yeah, let me get dressed.” I got up off the bed and Max stood back so I could walk past him. I grabbed my clothes out of the closet… Yep, you guessed it… black… jeans, shirt and shoes. I went to the bathroom and hurriedly put on the clothes. I looked at myself and flinched at the reflection that was cast from the mirror. I looked like death warmed over.

I splashed some water on my face and then wetted a hairbrush so I could tame some of the frizzy that had taken over my hair. I ran mousse through it and then sprayed. It had a waviness that it normally didn’t have when I did my hair after a shower.

I put some foundation on to give me a little bit more color and then put on the eyeliner. Yes, I own eyeliner. After a few more touches and another glance in the mirror I was ready. I opened the bathroom door at the same time as I turned off the bathroom light.

Max was sitting on my unmade bed… He looked lost… I wondered what he had planned. I walked to my desk and started scribbling a note to my parents. I didn’t want another episode. “What are you doing?” I guess he was wondering just like you were.

“I’m writing a note to my parents telling them that Maria needed me… and to call me on my cell if they need to get a hold of me… They are on this big kick about knowing where I am at all times…” I left to go hang the note on the refrigerator… They would surely see it there. I was back and Max was waiting by the window.

“You ready?” He handed me my new jacket. “You might need this, it’s raining outside.”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He stepped through and held out his hand to help me through. I took it and once again was overwhelmed by the warm sensations travelling throughout my body. We were over the edge of my balcony and headed down the ladder. Max first and me next. When he reached the ground first he held his hands up to grab me by the waist. He took my hand and we raced towards the car that was parked around the next block.

<center> I know you know we’ve had some good times,
Now they have their own hiding place.
I can promise you tomorrow,
But I can’t buy back yesterday </center>

We climbed inside the dry car and Max began to drive to our secretive destination. The radio was playing Bon Jovi’s I’ll be there for you. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not. “So, You going to tell me where we are going?”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt. The state fair has been going on and this is the last weekend for it. I’ve always wanted to go with you. Is that okay?”

He didn’t have to ask. It was and I showed him. I leaned over to kiss him and when I was done I rested beside him for the remainder of the trip. “Won’t it be closed by the time we get there?” It was a fair question.

“Nope, but it will be deserted enough for us to think that we are all alone… That’s the plan.” Leave it to Max to cover all bases.

The rest of the drive was traveled in silence. We were enjoying each other’s company as well as the closeness that we were sharing. Sure enough the carnival was practically empty and all the rides were quiet. We parked the car and were amazed that there were a few patrons still working the rides for some teens. It wasn’t quite empty but was close enough.

Max opened the door for me and held out his hand. We walked hand in hand into the fair grounds. “So what do you want to do first?” he asked.

“I don’t care. What do you want to do?” We were in front of the gaming booths.

One of the carnies yelled out to us. “Why don’t you win the little lady a stuffed animal?” I looked at the game. It was the one with the three bottles and the ball. Test of strength.

Max looked at me and I gave him a shrug. I didn’t care. I was enjoying this time with him. Max paid the man his money three balls for a buck. He aimed and then let the ball loose. The hairs on the back of my neck began to stand on edge. All three bottles went flying. He had won. Unfairly, but still he had won. “Give the man a prize. Double or nothing?”

“Sure.” Max was grinning from ear to ear. The carnie had no idea who he was up against. Max knocked the bottles again and again. By the time he was done I had the biggest stuffed alien at the fair. Let me tell you this thing was huge. The guy didn’t beg Max to try again. He knew when to count his losses. I bet that no one ever won this game, at least anyone from this planet.

We continued to walk the main lane of the rest of the games. I kept Max away from them. I didn’t think I would be able to carry anything else for the rest of the night. This thing was getting heavy the more we walked. The rain wasn’t helping any either.

We got to a secluded part of the fair. The carousel and the rest of the easy going rides. None of the teenagers that were out tonight wanted to ride these rides so needless to say we were the only ones here. Max grabbed my hand and walked me over to the empty ride. “I think we need to get some things out in the open.” He said as he took my alien away from me and sat him down on one of the benches.

He pulled me up onto the carousel so that we would be protected from the rain. He looked at me… What was he waiting for? “Go ahead. What’s up?” I was ready. I put up my steel wall that I had been working on for most of the summer.

“Well… I don’t really know where to begin.” I don’t know about you but I knew where he should have begun.

I didn’t push it with him. I could see that he was having a difficult time so I offered my two cents worth. “I think I know where you are going with this.” I paused to see if that was in fact where this conversation was going. He looked puzzled.

“Liz, I know you have doubts I can feel them rising in you at times and I don’t blame you.” He shuffled and then continued. “I know it’s hard for you to let me in like we used to be. After all that’s happened. I don’t deserve you as a friend or even as a girlfriend. I’m hoping you do something that I wasn’t even willing to do. You asked me to trust you and the first minute you needed me I turned my back on you. It took me seeing the past in order for me to get rid of all the doubts that I had for you.”

“You doubted me?” I couldn’t believe it. Max the one that said at Christmas time that he believes in me but not in God is telling me now that he had lost his belief in me. He didn’t acknowledge my question. My head was spinning.

“I yelled at you. I said really mean things to you. I don’t know what happened to me during the days between Vegas and Alex's death; but when push came to shove I wasn’t there for you. I wasn’t the one that you felt that you could turn to and to top it off I even hurt you in ways that I can’t even bear to remember. You were so strong and I was so weak, so very weak. I didn’t want to deal with anything or anyone except her. You didn’t let me stop what you believed in. Even when I was being so mean to you, you didn’t stop. Not only did you save us once by turning me away from you; but you also saved us again by not letting us get into the Granolith with her. I must have been blind and to tell you the truth since she has been gone the fog has lifted. I know more than anything that I want you in my life.” He was now on bent knee in front of me. His eyes were almost full of tears that wouldn’t fall. “I need you in my life Liz. My life has always been in your hands and I couldn’t think of anyone better to keep it and take care of it. I can’t promise you things that I don’t have any control over. ” He paused and I grabbed his hands. I was now down at the same level as he was. We were both on the floor of the carousel.

“It’s okay Max. I’ve come to terms. I know that you won’t be here for always. Tomorrow you might be gone but I’ve decided that life is too short not to live fully. If I can only have you for a little time than that’s better than nothing. At least we can have now.”

<center> And baby you know my hands are dirty,
But I wanted to be your Valentine,
I’ll be the water, when you get thirsty, baby,
When you get drunk, I’ll be the wine.</center>

He was shaking his head no. “That’s not it. That’s not how I feel, Liz. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. The Granolith is gone. There is no way home. That’s over. You’re the only reason to stay. You’re the only reason.” He paused and searched my face. I could tell that he had really thought about everything. He continued. “I want to be with you.”

I had to know… so I asked. “What about your son?” There I said it. It was part of the reason I have been at the library almost every day this summer. I wanted to help him find his son and I needed to know if and when Tess and the others would be able to come back. I needed to know how he felt about the subject. His expression was enough. I had hit a nerve that had been buried months ago. Max Evans had given up on his own flesh and blood. Part of me wanted to jump for joy and the other was sinking lower and lower and crying for the loss of a man that I had only had the pleasure of meeting for a few days.

<center> I’ll be there for you, these five words I swear to you.
When you breathe I want to be the air for you.
I’ll be there for you, I’d live and I’d die for you,
Steal the sun from the sky for you,
Words can’t say what love can do.
I’ll be there for you.</center>

“There's nothing I can do about my son. He's gone. I have accepted it.” The pained expression created quite a picture for me to look at. “Liz, you've paid a lot to know me. You've been hurt. You've been put in danger. Now I want to make it up to you.” I had no idea how he planned on doing that but I also knew that by his knowing me he too had been put in danger.

Max put his hand down on the floor of the carousel while I looked at him. It began to come to life. The lights and music came on and it began to spin around. It reminded me of the time of my blind date with Doug Shellow. Max had the car horns playing a soft melody and the street lamps were twinkling like a thousand stars. He was drunk then and I knew for a fact that tonight he wasn’t drunk. This was the side of him that he kept hidden from everyone including me. He was finally letting the real him out. The real him was running his life. Max Evans was no longer hiding his true feelings. Mark one for the home team.

“I want to make your dreams come true, Liz. Will you let me do that?” He looked like a scared little kid. He should be. He was opening himself up to be hurt in a big way. He had just given me his heart, lock stock and barrel.

I looked up at him and smiled. It must have said it all for the lights on the carousel pulsed into a bright light. “This is how happy you have made me.” He said. Max always had a way of making me feel special.

“Like I told you once before. All the others will be second best. You are the only one for me.” I cupped his face and leaned up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around me and we started twirling. It was amazing that he was able to keep us standing while the carousel was spinning and we were spinning. I didn’t feel dizzy at all. I felt solid. We felt solid and I knew right there that there was nothing and no one that would come between us ever again.

<center> I wasn’t there when you were happy, I wasn’t there when you were down.
I didn’t mean to miss your birthday baby, I wish I’d seen you blow those candles out.
I’ll be there for you, these five words I swear to you.
When you breathe I want to be the air for you.
I’ll be there for you, I’d live and I’d die for you,
Steal the sun from the sky for you,
Words can’t say what love can do. I’ll be there for...</center>

“I love you Max. Always and forever… I love you.” I grabbed hold of his neck and looked deep into his eyes.

“I love you too. You’re the only one that I have ever loved. Believe me when I say that. It was always you, Liz. Always.”

“I know Max. I know.”

“Hey!” Ut oh, the carnies must have seen the bright light and came to inspect it. Max let me down and grabbed my hand. We were beginning to run and were off the carousel when I let loose of his hand.

“Liz! No!”

I looked back at him and said, “I can’t forget my alien. He’s mine always and forever.” He smiled he knew what I meant and I did. I couldn’t leave this behind I wanted everything that Max Evans ever gives me. I grabbed the little green man by one of his arms and began running. Max was waiting for me a little ways away.

“Hurry.” He held out his hand I thought to take mine but then I heard the yells of the carnival workers. I looked back and saw that the carousel was going around and around at an unbelievable rate. I turned back and looked at him. He took my hand and began running once again.

As we went through all the rides running from the workers, Max was busy starting all the rides. The spider, the rockin’ rocket, the rainbow and more. I didn’t know all the names of the rides but it did cause quite a distraction for our get away.

<center> I’ll be there for you, these five words I swear to you.
When you breathe I want to be the air for you.
I’ll be there for you, I’d live and I’d die for you,
Steal the sun from the sky for you,
Words can’t say what love can do.
I’ll be there for you.

I’ll be there for you by Bon Jovi</center>

We reached his car and got in it. We ducked down low so that the running employees of the New Mexico State Fair wouldn’t see us. We were soaked through and as if he read my thoughts he passed his hands over me and dried my hair and clothes.

I sat up and looked out the window. “I think its clear. Let’s go home.” Home. Max Evans had finally given me something that I have been looking for all summer. Peace. I only hoped that it would last for a little while. I leaned my head on his shoulder while he drove and I fell in and out of sleep.

“We’re here.” I looked up at Max. He kissed my forehead. I looked outside.

“When did the rain stop?” It was the first thing I thought about.

“Awhile ago. Did you sleep well?” Always the gentleman.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve slept that well in a long time. Thanks.” I rose up and noticed that I had a kink in my neck. Not for long. Max’s soothing hands were on my shoulders and the warm tingling sensation was traveling down my body. “Um, Max. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You know… when I got my belly ring and you were holding my hand.” I paused. I hadn’t been very good at being tactful lately. “Well, did you heal it? I mean me?” He looked guilty, but still remained silent. “Okay, listen to me. From here on out we’re in this together, Max. Together until the end… You hear me. Together until the end. That means no more lies between us. No more secrets.”

“Alright. Together ‘til the end. Yes. I healed your piercing. I didn’t want you to be in pain. Don’t be mad.”

“Look, I’m doing these things for a reason. They are experiences that I want to experience. I’m going to quit asking you to come with me if every time something rubs me the wrong way you fix it.” Max just looked at me like I had grown a second head. “I mean it Max. I will give you my opinion when you ask and I hope that we can talk about our actions in an open matter before jumping headfirst and doing it. I will stand beside you and I will support you until the end, but I won’t have you running my life. Is that understood?” I hope he got the message.

“Loud and clear my sweet. Loud and clear.”

“Good.” I leaned into him and kissed him. He got out of the car and I followed out the driver’s seat. He held my hand and helped me up the first rung of the later. I climbed up steadily and crawled over. The sun was just beginning to rise over to the east and I wasn’t even tired yet. I waited for him to come on up. I held my hand out for him when he climbed over the wall.

“I bet you’re tired. It’s been a long day. What do you have planned for today?” Max smiled from ear to ear.

“Spending it with the girl of my dreams. That’s if she will have me.”

“I think I can arrange it. Since we’ve agreed not to keep anything from each other there is one thing that I think you should know.” I hope he doesn’t change on me.

“What’s that?”

“I think I’ve found another key.”

“To what?”

“The Granolith or… or something. I don’t know exactly but it looks just like the one we already found.”

“Where? How? When?” I knew he would have questions.

“When I was going through some news articles at the library, there was this article about Shirley Maclaine and her interest in aliens and alien artifacts. They showed a picture of one. I hope you are up for another road trip. Her mansion is on display this Thursday, Friday and Saturday.”

“I’m not ready, but if I can convince a certain hot vixen to accompany me back to Hondo to pick up a certain blue car I will be.”

“Really? You’re going to go get it?” He shook his head yes. That’s the Max I know… and want. “You know you can count on me. I’m there. Anything special I should wear?” I already knew what he would want me to wear but I just wanted to hear him say it.

“Your leather. Must you even ask?”

“No, I just wanted to hear you say it for me.” I leaned in to him not wanting him to leave. “You better get going before you get in trouble.” We kissed and kissed and one thing led to another and he was groping my neck like we were back in Hondo already. “Down boy. We have the rest of our lives to do this. Get going.”

He looked like I had kicked him. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. “I gotta go Max. I need to get the note from the kitchen before anyone is up.” I kissed him again and he returned it.

“Together til the end Liz. Remember that. Nothing’s going to come between us ever again. I swear to you.”

“I know, Max. I know. Now go. I love you. Be careful.” He disappeared over the ledge and I immediately felt alone. All alone, but then I felt him, his touch but not his touch. He was sending me his love.

I walked through the living room to get to the kitchen. No one was up yet. Thank God. I didn’t know how I would cover it up if mom or dad were up already. I yanked the note off the refrigerator and headed back to my room. A smile beaming on my face.

Once again I stripped down to almost nothing and stepped into my pajamas. I set my alarm for nine o’clock. I needed to get a hold of Kyle to see if he could do me a favor. The Shirley Maclaine thing was going to happen whether or not I was ready and I owed it to myself as well as to Max, Michael and Isabel to be ready.

I crawled into bed and rolled over to my right side. The knife in its place I fell into a deep resting sleep. No dreams and no interruptions.

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