Steal Your Pain II (DA,XO,UC,MATURE) [COMPLETED] 06-30-05

[RavenSprite]

I’m back!!! Can you believe it? Yes. It’s me. I’m here. Continuing with Steal Your Pain II just like I promised.
TITLE: Steal Your Pain (the sequel). *I'll think of a niftier title for it, but for now, it's just SYP the sequel, lol.
AUTHOR: Mua, RavenSprite (Sam)
CATEGORY: Crossover, Liz/Alec, Maria/Michael, Maxie/Logan, etc.
SUMMARY: This happens just after Steal Your Pain ends. Meaning it's been Alec's birthday and the gang is going to Seattle for spring break... where lots of chaos is about to go wild. As always, my main focus shall always be Liz. And Alec. And Liz AND Alec together. And Alec shirtless... etc.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters and I'm just a poor girl that likes writing, lol. And still has an eerie, abnormal obsession with Roswell characters that belong to Jason Katims. Any problems you might have? Please PM me and I'll always reply to assuage any doubts or concerns you might have.

The gorgeous banner was made by the lovely mrsjbehr.

Now, this is just a small prologue, a snippet that doesn't explain a whole lot, because starting Chapter One I'm going to go back. Does that make sense? This part is two weeks from the future, when Spring Break is over and the gang is going to head back... or some of them (insert evil laugh). I'm writing chapter one as we speak so you'll have that one out soon as well. Thank you to everyone who stood by patiently and awaited! All of you have been a huge inspiration to writing this, and I would like to continue becuase there is still a lot of Liz/Alec story that hasn't been told. So, here it is.


PROLOGUE~Broken Inside~


Her smile faded when she noticed he didn’t have any suitcases with him.

“Alec…”

“I’m not going back to Roswell with you, Liz. I’m staying here.”

Liz opened her mouth about to speak her confusion when Alec silenced her. “I know you don’t understand, but I just… all I want to say to you is… thank you. I’m so grateful for everything that you have ever done for me. You came into my life, Liz, and made me see there was so much beauty, so much good in this world I never thought I’d form a part of. You made me so happy. Whatever you do, wherever you are…”

He paused, swallowing a lump in his throat. Liz couldn’t suppress the surprising gasp that came out of her when she saw a tear slide down his cheek. “Whatever you to,” he repeated, clearing his throat, “I’ll go on loving you forever.”

Tears formed in her eyes, her voice cracking as she asked, “Why does this sound like goodbye?”

His head hung low. “Because it is.”

That’s why it all fell apart for him at that moment. Because a part of their relationship had been his quest to prove himself that he was worthy, that he wouldn’t taint her, that he wouldn’t corrupt her pure soul with his damaged one. That if she ever got hurt, if he ever put her life in danger, despite doing his best to protect her with all he had, it would be because he wasn’t strong enough, smart enough, good enough, and Alec would always push harder. As clichéd as it was, she was his salvation. And he’d genuinely believed his past would never come back to haunt him, that he could live the life he’d always wanted with Liz, basking in the safety of her arms.

There was no safe anymore.

“What?” she whispered, as she began to relieve each and every achingly beautiful moment they’d ever had together. “No, Alec… you can’t… you can’t do this…”

“I was lying to myself, Liz, alright? I can’t be with you,” he answered pained, “because I thought that I could stretch time. But I can’t. I have to go back, because there is something there that is worth fighting for, worth dying for. And I might. Because I have a duty to protect the people that are like me. People that are preyed upon, destroyed, and killed because of who they are. And I can’t be here with you because when I am, then nothing else matters.”

She stared at him defiantly. “And I have no say in the matter?! I hope you don’t think I’m just going to take that. Alec, I’m not going to just let you go.”

“I can’t… you won’t change my mind, Liz,” he whispered mournfully, grabbing her luggage and dumping it in the cart, looking at Michael as an understanding passed between them. Alec’s eyes were clear and determined and told Michael not to budge—get her out of here.

“Alec…” It was a reverent prayer, a beseeching plea.

“No, Liz. I don’t want you here.”

She arched her back with dignity, staring at him with open tears. “Go to hell.”

Alec had been the first person to ever even notice there was more to her “good girl” exterior. He was the only one who saw into her heart, despite the fact that he was grabbing at it and tearing it apart. He knew what he was dealing with, he understood she wasn’t one to wear her heart out on her sleeve. He knew she wasn’t one to right out spill on what she felt because that was who she was-a little guarded, a little scared, a little unsure, and a whole lot of emotional baggage she kept in the inner chip of her shoulder. So she had saved him, she had been the healing grace that chased his ghosts away.

And he was the one person who had ever seen her truly at her core. Liz Parker, in every sense. He was the only one who knew what buttons to push to enrage her, get emotion out of her. It was something no one had done to her. Liz’s goodness appealed to Alec, and his brutal truth and darkness appealed to Liz. Both, unintentionally, wanted to help the other. Liz had always wanted Alec to need her, to save him, to<a onMouseOver="window.status='' ; return true;" onMouseOut="window.status='';" oncontextmenu="window.status=''; return true;" onclick="location.href='http://www.enhancemysearch.com/admin/re ... 31';return false;" href="" TITLE="More Info..."> love </a>him. And Alec had always wanted to read Liz, to break through her exterior and see what was inside. And both had gotten what they wanted. She had saved his tortured soul and he had seen inside her broken spirit, and down the road they had healed each other and fallen madly in love.

And this was their special bond. Liz saw Alec. She understood what was lying underneath, and she loved him because of it. He saw her wounded soul, he knew every inch of it, got why she said the things she said and did the things she did. She saw the dark knight inside the arrogance and he saw the beautiful vulnerability inside the façade she had created. And because they saw each other, because they got each other, because they loved each other, this was hurting. A lot.

She was still the broken spirit, the wounded soul. None of that had changed. And so many had. She didn’t have the shelter and protection of Alec’s arms, she didn’t have the safety she felt when she was with him. Everything had turned over and she was left to deal with it all alone. There was no one she could talk to it about, because no one would ever in a million years understand the deep emotion that was Liz/Alec. As a unit, it was powerful, and beautiful, and complicated. And apart they were miserable. She couldn’t deny any longer the tension she felt as she turned to see him standing there, waiting for her to leave. She was in pure agony at having to ignore the electricity that surrounded them every time they so much as glanced at each other.

But everything was broken. He couldn’t ask her such a huge commitment, couldn’t put her life in danger after everything she’d been through.

It wasn’t until Liz left that Alec understood what it meant. It wasn’t until she was out of his sight that he was overcome with a new, foreign, human emotion that he’d never felt before in his entire life, barely remembered feeling.

Alec was crying.

~*~

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way
she felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
It's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind

She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place
~Avril Lavigne, 'Nobody's Home'

[RavenSprite]

So, I see I managed to rattle you with the prologue. And, I noticed that you’re quite upset with the Alec/Liz thing… Me? Cackling with evil glee? No, why would you think that? Honestly though, if there is one thing that I can assure you is this: I always leave happy endings. That is ALL that I’m saying there.

I would like to thank, first and foremost, my first and constant and wonderful beta, burningchaos. She has been with me through all of Steal Your Pain. I feel that Liz and Alec are her characters as well. And also to my other fabulous beta, Petal who is quick to send me my chapters. I thank them both profusely. Without them there would be many erring and well, you wouldn’t like that, I assume.

I’d like to specially thank as well WomanofMystery’s impatience. I am quite fond of it, lol. And, here the next chapter is, have no fear!

Now, remember I'm taking you BACK to the week BEFORE Liz/Alec's fight ensues, so it explains a little bit more. It's good to see familiar people reviewing this one, I hope you stick along!

CHAPTER #1

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am…”
~Sylvia Plath

One week before...


It was amazing, really.

How far she had come, and how truly young and free she once felt again.

It was a new and strange feeling. A huge part of her life was over, and a small fraction of her felt her life hadn’t really begun yet. There were many things she had learned, so, so many things that Liz Parker had felt—her life was turned upside down in tumultuous, irrevocable ways and still she survived. She tripped clumsily in the world of pain she had collided with. She always fell, and still, always managed to come back up with her two feet successfully on the ground.

She had been through a lot in her very young life. Seen things and felt things no teenager should ever have to. And here she was today, still alive. Liz Parker still loved, still laughed, still cried and still lived. She had managed to heal so much of what had crushed her being, had left her breathless with agony and smashed with hopeless edges.

It all seemed like a distant reverie now, this vague cloud that had hovered over her but no longer does.

Thank God for new beginnings.

Thank God for healing.

Thank God for mercy.

She sometimes wished she had never had to go through all she did—being so angry, so hurt, so betrayed, and so blindingly lost.

Now, though, sitting around two tables full of cheerful, laughing, lively friends—Liz couldn’t say it hadn’t all been worth it. So much had happened; so many fights, so much laugher, so much jokes and anger… they were a family. All of them, and like family members, they bickered. And there were moments of madness, though she still adored them. So many moments in life had broken her heart: Alex’s death, Max’s betrayal, losing, if only for a moment, Maria’s friendship and Isabel’s concern.

And because of this, for even just a small split second, she had forgotten.

She had forgotten all of the times she and Maria had shared sleepovers and babbled incessantly—and sometimes nonsensically—of everything and everyone. They were, and always would be, there one and only. They were soul sisters, they were soul mates. It went above and beyond any call of friendship. She had forgotten how lucky and blessed she was to have such a treasure for a friend.

Maria, her soul sister—beautiful in anything and everything she did, moving beautifully and gracefully in all that she did, supporting her, loving her, always giving her an ear, a hand, a heart to hold on to. Kyle, the only person in her entire world of chaos that ever kept the world sane, the person that ever kept her balanced, the only person she knew she would always be able to have there by her side, in her corner. Alec… Alec, her rock, the one always hoping, always loving, always protecting her, no matter what, no matter who, no matter where.

She had forgotten all of the tears she had spilled not only from pain but also from laughter. Kyle’s humor, Michael’s quiet, unintentional comedic sarcasm… and Alec. For some unknown reason to the sciences, she’d always associated love with pain. And if you weren’t dying from a broken heart, then it truly, couldn’t be real. Because, it’s supposed to slice inside of you. It’s supposed to never want to make you live again. It’s supposed to crush your dreams and it’s always about waiting for the next baited breath where you won’t feel that anymore…

Only it wasn’t.

Liz smiled as Alec’s words reverberated through her ears.

“Love’s not always about the pain, Parker.”

If anyone were to ask Liz what she liked most about Alec she would know the answer in a heartbeat. She was incredibly drawn to his intensity. Max, Kyle, Sean, even, to an extent, Michael, would treat her like some porcelain doll that would break if you put too much pressure. As if they didn’t really know there wasn’t a part of her inside that hadn’t already been broken. Alec, though, he knew how to be gentle and intense all at the same time for entirely different reasons. It wasn’t his fear that she would shatter that made him care. The way he sometimes looked at her, as if she was something precious, so precious that he couldn’t bear treat it with anything but respect and gentility. It was… beautiful.

She snapped out of her thoughts as Maria’s glare threatened to overwhelm her. Luckily, it wasn’t directed towards her. It was directed towards Kyle, whom Liz was sitting next to at the particular moment. She, Michael, Maria, and Kyle were waiting for Maxie and Alec, who were making phone calls to make sure everyone knew they were arriving at Seattle that Saturday night.

“Did you just… yawn?” Maria asked with incredulity.

Kyle turned to Michael nervously. “I did no such thing.”

“I am speaking of something utterly crucial and fascinating, Kyle Valenti, and I would appreciate you at least look as if you’re paying attention… which, you aren’t because you totally yawned.”

Kyle sighed, grabbing the nearest fork. “How’d this look stuck in my eye?”

Maria’s eyes darkened. “You completely yawned, Valenti.”

He stared at her with disbelief. “You’re a total mental case.”

She had the decency to look indignant. “There are differences between insanity and quirkiness, Kyle.”

“You’re bordering a thin line,” Kyle muttered.

Liz elbowed him, trying to stifle her own amusement.

“What? She’s talking about her Brazilian wax, for goodness sake!”

“It scarred me for life, Kyle!” Maria hissed.

Liz rolled her eyes, her laughter cut short when she saw Isabel, along with Max and Phillip Evans, walk into the diner. Max and Mr. Evans were each carrying a suitcase, and Isabel was biting her lip, her eyes screaming apologetically at Liz. Phillip went to the counter to talk to Jeff, while Isabel and Max moved towards the gang.

“Hey, Liz… can I talk to you?” Max asked unsurely, shuffling his feet.

Liz noticed everyone was staring at them, withholding their breaths, and she nodded mutely, as Isabel took her place and they moved to a different booth.

“So… Max, what are you doing?” she asked once they’d sat down and silence had ensued for a few minutes. She noticed Max clamping and unclamping his hands and his eyes darting each and every way, and it didn’t really remind her of the arrogant, stubborn Max she’d been encountering all senior year.

“I’m trying to apologize, Liz,” he cried out defensively.

Liz sighed. Max had created more walls around him than China, always guarded and always ready to pounce. He reminded her nothing of the silent, sweet, strong boy she had met that had saved her life selflessly.

“I’m sorry, Max. I saw you and thought…”

“I was looking for a fight,” Max finished for her.

Liz raised her eyebrow. “Can you blame me?”

“No,” Max admitted with defeat, hunching his shoulders. “I’m just… I’m just a little lost right now.”

Liz smiled, remembering all those days ago when Max had asked her how she could lose her journal. “Not lost, Max. Misplaced.”

Max nodded in agreement. “You know, I don’t think I ever told you, but right after…” he paused, gulping, almost as if tasting something poisonous, “Right after Tess came into town I’d keep having these dreams. They were mostly of me as Zan, and it was… it was interesting to see how I’d relate to everyone around me. He was self-serving, he was arrogant, he gave a damn a bout no one but himself. He made Ava’s life and their marriage a misery. And I had promised myself—I promised myself, I wouldn’t turn into him. And it’s all I did. Talking so much about making our own destinies… I fell right into mine. I used to shrink back at the thought of him, and now I am him. An eighteen-year old single parent and just… just a failure.”

“You’re not a failure, Max,” Liz whispered softly.

“Yes I am,” he answered with lament. “And I’m so sorry you had to pay for it a lot of the times.”

“You’re trying to apologize now, right?”

“Yeah…”

“See? That’s progress already,” Liz replied with determination. “Max, you can’t expect to take this huge leap and not feel slightly unsteady once you’ve fallen to the ground. You have to fight the good fight.”

He nodded, opened his mouth a few times, and then decided to confide in her. “Sometimes, though… I’m tired of fighting,” he confessed wearily. “I tried blaming it all on Tess and her mindwarps, but a lot of the times it just wasn’t her. It was me, giving up the good fight. I want to give up because I think of who I am inside, who I really am and what I represent, what I’ve lost… and I want it so badly I can sometimes feel it hurt inside of me, twitching just to grab it. I want to give up sometimes and give in to who I am.”

“Max…” Liz breathed, staring into his eyes sadly. He reminded her of an old soul, and not an eighteen-year old boy. He looked so old and tired.

“You don’t understand, Liz. I thought you did because we…”

“We were a mistake, Max,” Liz put down gently.

“I know,” he agreed painfully. “But I thought maybe when you saw, through our connection, but you don’t understand. You don’t get that every day I fight—fight this monster inside of me that keeps on urging to bring out its ugly head. A horrible monster that hurts everyone I love, and hurts everyone that loves me. I can’t keep on doing it. I killed Alex, I destroyed you. Everything I love… ends up hurt. I’m not strong, Liz. I thought I was and I’m just… not.”

“Life’s a struggle, Max,” Liz whispered with encouragement, her eyes full of purpose. “And it’s never easy but it’s something we have to do. It strengthens our will and spikes our courage. You can’t give up because I still believe in you, Max, even after everything that’s happened with us.”

“I’m still so in love with you,” he confessed, and she immediately backed away at the words. “I know you love Alec, it’s so obvious. Even back when I tried… it was just so obvious. And I swear I’ll respect it, Liz, even if it breaks my heart. But how can I fight myself? How can I stop from wanting the only thing that makes me feel alive at all?”

“You find something to live for,” Liz coaxed. “Not me. Your son, Max. I always said you were too selfless for your own good at first. You kept putting every burden on your shoulders. You never have to carry any chip that isn’t your own. But you can’t be a strong person unless you respect yourself, Max. You need to get better for yourself and for your son. The rest… the rest will come along.”

Max gazed into her dark eyes and smiled sadly. She genuinely wanted him to get better, but only as a friend. Max got that now.

“Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely.

Liz stood up from the booth and gave him a small smile. “No problem, Max.”

She led him to the front door of the Crashdown, and as he was opening the door he looked back at her. “So even though we were a mistake… you wouldn’t take it back?”

Liz thought about that for a moment. Everything that happened led her to this moment in time, and at that moment, she was happy.

She looked back at him. “No, Max. I wouldn’t.”

She stared after him before joining the booth.

“Everything okay?” Kyle asked, his eyes full of concern.

“Everything’s fine,” she assured him, realizing there was still one more tie she had to severe.

“Kyle… I’m glad you decided to come with us.”

Kyle shrugged. “There wasn’t much else. It was too late to join anyone else.”

“Thanks,” Liz answered wryly.

He laughed with mirth, drinking his soda before noticing she was still staring at him expectantly.

“You okay?”

Liz bobbed her head to each side. “Yeah. It’s just… I’m sorry, Kyle. I’m really sorry.”

“For what?”

“Tess.”

“Oh.”

The single word changed the whole atmosphere in the room, but the four knew that she had been the elephant in the room for a while now, and no one had wanted to approach Kyle after Ava warned them he was deeply mourning.

“I know you cared for her, Kyle, might have even loved her, and I’m sorry that I just didn’t talk to you about it. I gave the choice impulsively and I’m just…” she stopped, her hand grabbing at Kyle’s.

“It’s okay,” he reassured. “I wasn’t angry at you, Liz. Not really. I see it was the only way it could go. She killed Alex. Killed him. She deserved what she got. Who knows what she would have done had she stayed her? I loved an illusion, not the real Tess.”

Liz bit her lip, and hugged him.

“Uh, Liz? You know I love ya too, but to what do I owe this public display of affection?” he joked.

“I’m glad you’re my best friend,” she whispered to him. “I know I don’t say it often, if I’ve ever said it before. I can’t think of a time when you weren’t there for me, Kyle. Don’t think for a second I’m not grateful of all you do for me.”

“Aw, shucks. Ditto here.”

Maria sniffled softly. “That was beautiful, man.”

The air was cleared with that, and breakfast continued smoothly.

Liz’s eyes brightened as she saw Alec and Maxie making their way towards them. She all but pushed Kyle out of the booth to go over to kiss Alec.

Kyle huffed with mock indignation. “Best friend my ass.”

“You ready?” Alec asked, his trademark smirk in place.

“M-hmm,” she answered, her lips lingering on his. “Our adventure begins soon.”

“We’ll be just like your grandparents,” Alec promised, locking his hands together at the back of her small waist. “You and me, a modern day Bonnie and Clyde, only you change bank robbery for transgenic facilities.”

Her eyes sparkled. “I like it!”

Alec sighed in mock annoyance. “When did I turn you into an adrenaline junkie?”

She answered without hesitation. “The day that you gave me our first bike ride.”

“Good memories,” he answered, eyes sparkling with devious intonation.

“Okay, I know we would all like to continue gagging with your overly sweet antics but it’s really time we get going,” Maxie answered, as she and Ava moved about the booth.

“What about you, guys?” Kyle asked Michael and Maria.

“Our flight isn’t due for another two hours,” Michael responded.

Maria, who was clinging on to Isabel’s shirt, turned to Liz. “Don’t have too much fun without me, okay?”

Liz tried to withhold her chuckle. The minute Maria stepped foot into Florida it would all change. Liz who? Isabel who?

Which was exactly what she needed. If there was anyone who needed a vacation, it was them.

“Are you ready?” Alec asked, opening the door of the cab for her. She grabbed on to the handle, looking out at the Crashdown, at Michael and Maria, arms around each other waving, and her parents’ wide grins, and turning to see his calm, peaceful hazel eyes. “Yeah,” she replied slowly, smiling at him lovingly. “I think I am.”

There was a time for everything. A time for laughter, for tears, for heartache. A time for love, for anger, for forgiveness…

And a time, where one has to move on.

She was Liz Parker.

And she didn’t have to wait anymore.


~*~

Here I am, unseen
You look through me unaffected
So stand beside me and don’t deny me
Help me find my way

All alone I stand
Looking in at your world
So mold me, make me, hold me, break me
Fit where I belong

Take my hand, I’ve lived
All the pain that you’re fighting
So stand beside me and don’t deny me
I’ll help you find the way
~Adrienne Leon

[RavenSprite]

Hey everyone. Here's a new chapter. I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting, I really am. Hope you're still there!

And I just wanted to point out WomanofMystery's observation.

matter how bad Alec feels he can't cry. So that just makes the end of the prologue of this story even sadder because he cried in that and it just shows how much pain he was in having to watch Liz leave him

I REALLY wanted to drive point home on this. You get a golden star for catching this! LOL.

CHAPTER #2

Maxie Guevara had never been nervous once in her entire life. She had been trained to expect every circumstance possible, had been taught how to react to each of them and always, always to be fearless. She was fearless. She didn’t run away from anything.

Except Logan, a small voice inside of her seemed to continue to say. She just couldn’t block away all of the things she had tried keeping dormant inside of her. Away from Logan, being able to block his face and his words and everything that made him Logan had been a lot easier. Without having to deal with the magnitude of him, she didn’t find the task of living without him so unbearable.

Being a door knock away from him, however, proved to be completely different for her. God, she didn’t want to be one of those women that acted like school girls when they were around their crushes. She didn’t want to experience sweaty palms. And why the fuck was her heart skipping a beat?

She. Was. Not. Nervous

“Are we going to be here all day?” Kyle complained, grabbing a hold of both Isabel and Ava’s suitcases, grumbling when Ava slapped the back of his head.

“You’s okay?” Ava asked softly.

Maxie nodded, giving her a shaky smile. “Five by five.”

Only she really wasn’t sure she was okay. This was Logan. And she was Maxie. And together they were the Maxie and Logan that could never be together despite how badly they’d always wanted to. She’d left him, left him for well over seven months, and now she just comes barging into his life again?

What if there was someone with him? What if she painfully had to accept him moving on and away from what he meant to her?

She had always concealed herself from the world that so eagerly shunned them. She had always been fine, standing alone, standing there unseen, away from the feelings that she had wanted so hard to block. She had been unreachable until she had breathed, felt, and loved Logan. Until there was nothing but Logan.

Giving herself a painful sigh, she rolled her eyes and knocked on the door in her loud-and-annoying-Maxie-way of knocking. Before she wouldn’t have even had to knock, but things had changed and she no longer felt comfortable barging in there. Especially not when she had five people with her, three of which Logan had never met.

Maxie could almost faintly hear Logan walking around. He was walking again?

He opened the door, halting in mid-step, his eyes noticing nothing but Maxie.

She was once again hit with the enormity of her feelings, the intensity of her pale blue eyes that seemed to hover over her and envelop themselves in her air.

“Cheerios!” Alec greeted, breaking up the moment as he clapped Logan hard on the back, tugging at Liz’s hand as the two of them along with Ava, Isabel, and Kyle entered, leaving Logan coughing for air while holding on to the door frame, eyes still locked on Maxie’s.

“Um, we’re back,” Maxie answered in a fake voice, giving him a wobbly smile.

“I noticed,” came Logan’s answer. He seemed sullen, bitter. And could she blame him?

“We need places to stay,” Maxie whispered softly.

His eyes seemed to soften at the small vulnerability she had let slip out of her voice, the uncertain eyes that couldn’t seem to meet his. “Maxie, I told you a long time ago that you could always come to me no matter what. That’s still true.”

Why, why was he so nice to her? She had left him, had basically ripped his heart out and stuck it in a blender and gleefully watched it tear into pieces. She had said there was no hope for them ever and went away never telling him where the hell she was going. And there he was still, looking at her the sweet way that he always seemed to look at her, as if he saw some goodness there that she knew did not exist, opening the door to his home as if it were easy to him as breathing.

Maxie walked in wordlessly, noticing Logan scratching the back of his head.

He didn’t have time to open his mouth because Ava lunged towards him.

Logan chuckled heartily, enveloping the small blonde in his arms.

“I missed you,” Logan admitted sincerely.

Ava grinned up at him. “Missed ya too, priss.”

“So you… all need a place to stay?” Logan answered.

“Oh, yeah. This is Liz, Isabel, and Kyle. They’re our friends from Roswell. I was thinking that maybe Isabel could stay with me and O.C., Kyle could stay with Joshua, and Liz and Ava could stay here with you,” Maxie suggested softly. Why was there no sass to her voice? Damn it she was Maxie. She had attitude and spunk and fire. She would not feel so doubtful and… and hurt, for god’s sake.

“So I guess I’ll stay here too!” Alec said cheerfully, plopping into the couch, his feet resting in Logan’s coffee table, crossing one foot in front of the other.

Maxie shook her head. “No, no, no, no, no.”

Alec looked righteously offended. “What? Why?” he asked with a pout.

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Because we’re here for a purpose, not for you and Liz to shag like bunnies in some strange dude’s house.”

“Thanks… I think,” Logan piped up.

Kyle grinned at him, holding his thumbs up. “Anytime!”

Liz gasped indignantly. “What?! We do not—it’s—I—” she sputtered.

“Oh, please!” Ava chimed in. “Cornball, sorry, but they’s right.”

“They are,” Logan corrected promptly.

Ava grinned at him. “Dude, did I miss you!”

He smiled back at her.

Maxie couldn’t help it, a grin itself formed.

“Fine!” Alec grumbled. “But if I have to stay away from Liz then I demand that Ava and Maxie are also away from Kyle and Logan, respectively of course.”

“Alec,” Maxie warned with a glare.

Isabel nodded. “We’re here because it’s safer, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t help them in their purpose. I’ll be damned if those sons of bitches hurt Maxie and Alec’s family! And, well, you do have a one-track mind, ya know, Alec.”

Maxie smiled at the blond warmly, touched by her passionate display in her and Alec’s defense. It hit her then how close the two groups, Roswell and Seattle, had gotten months ago. A bond was formed, a bond she didn’t want but had always needed, and seeing Isabel and Liz fight for her, just because she was their friend, was weird but highly reassuring.

“You’re not going anywhere near Manticore,” Maxie ordered, shoving a finger at Isabel.

“Why?” Isabel pouted, much like Alec had a moment ago.

“Because this isn’t your battle,” Maxie argued. “Listen, I don’t like Liz getting in the line of fire—”

“She’s not doing anything no matter what she says,” Alec said from behind.

Liz snorted. “That’s what you think pal.”

Maxie, shaking her head, continued his rant. “But Liz has a lot to protect herself with—even more than I do. I’ve fought against her and I know she can hold her own. Hear me out, okay? I want you to stay far away from this as possible. Go shopping, take a bubble bath, go sing some place or sniff some of the oils Maria left for you but for the love of Buddha, Isabel, do not get involved in this. Please.”

Isabel’s eyes softened, noticing the raw fear in Kyle’s eyes. “Okay.”

“Promise me.”

Isabel rolled her eyes. “I promise.”

“Promise me in the name of all that is Jimmy Choo,” Kyle warned.

Isabel’s mouth dropped. “Not that kind of promise, Kyle!”

He stared at her sternly.

Isabel rolled her eyes in mock frustration. “Fine. In the name of all of the Jimmy Choo shoes I possess, I promise I won’t go looking for trouble.”

Logan shook his head, deciding then and there he liked the Roswell girls. Turning to Liz curiously, he inquired, “What exactly can you do?”

Liz beamed at him, eager to tell someone about her powers. “Oh! Lots of stuff. I can mindwarp like Ava, dream walk, heal, create force fields, have flashes and blow up things,” she piped with excitement.

He was stunned. “Wow.”

Alec nodded proudly. “That’s my girl.”

Liz winked at him. “Alec also taught me the wonders of martial arts.”

“How, exactly?”

She noticed a cut on his cheek, probably from shaving, and passed her hand lightly around it as a glow emanated from it. Logan was surprised to feel the cut was no longer there.

“That is awesome!” he stated like a little kid.

The room laughed and Maxie nodded. “She’s a powerful little weapon to have,” Maxie admitted, looking over at Liz as the two dark-haired beauties shared a smile.

“You’re going to need all of the help that you can get,” Logan admitted.

Maxie regarded him curiously, wondering if his mood had more to do with the news he was about to break to them then Maxie’s sudden arriving. She had been foolish to believe that Logan would harbor any ill feelings towards her. That really wasn’t who he was.

“Are they…” Logan asked, his eyes saying more then words ever could.

Maxie nodded. “They know everything. We trust them with our lives.”

They all followed him to the computer as he showed them files, pictures, and a news-break out video that he mainstreamed as Eyes Only.

Isabel covered her hands with shock and repulsion as they watched with shock pictures of transgenics. The pictures in the news were so graphic, so tortured, so terrifying. No one seemed to care, no one seemed to realize they had feelings. That people of their own kind were burned, were tortured, were torn apart limb by limb. They hadn’t done anything—their only sin being different.

Burned. What had they done to deserve death in such a horrible and painful manner?

“Oh, God, what happened?” Maxie whispered.

“They were captured in a lab that was anti-Manticore. I think it’s a branch of the government that conducts experimentation of phenomenon and the genetically engineered. They wouldn’t cooperate and so… so they were punished,” Logan explained in a hoarse voice, looking away as the next picture made its way.

He was an X-8, X-9 maybe. He was still a young teenager. He laid battered and bruised in the alley near Terminal City… and he had been burned as well.

Maxie closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek.

There was no hope left.

~*~

After the shock of Logan’s news, there was only one thing that Maxie could find herself doing. She had immediately gone to the room Logan had designed for her and began to work out.

Maxie stood there, punching the boxing bag as Logan tried holding it for her. Grunting as her punches got stronger, she finally stopped, turning to Alec.

Alec paced the room restlessly, furiously, and no one dared utter a word. They were still numb, shocked to their core at what they’d heard and seen—and Liz could only imagine what Alec must be feeling. After so much had happened, he was still captive by so many ghosts. She knew what he was thinking about, she didn’t need to ask him to know how he felt—he was thinking about those transgenics that he recognized because they had been Alec’s friends, or subordinates.

He pounded the wall with his fist multiple times, before letting out a low growl, continuing to pace. Even Maxie flinched with fear—not of Alec, but for him—but they immediately hid it.

Hesitantly Liz walked over to him, curling her hand in his arm. He tried pulling away but she held on. “Alec, please. Please let us help you. Don’t turn away,” she whispered, staring into his eyes, beseeching him to let her in again, to not shut her off.

It seemed like an eternity, only it wasn’t. Not really. One second she could have sworn he was walking away from her and the next he engulfed her in his arms, crashing her to his chest, she feared her rib cage would burst. Instead she held on to him just as tightly, a tear sliding down her cheek when she heard his shaky, uneven breathing, the dampening of her shoulder with his tears.

Maxie looked away, wiping her own tears before she fell to Logan’s chest, the past seven months forgotten.

She slid with him to the floor, never once breaking their embrace, soothing his back, placing a gentle kiss of his forehead. She wasn’t sure how much time lapsed, but after what seemed an eternity he looked up towards her, almost in confusion.

"Liz?"

“Yes, Alec?”

“I’m going to kill whoever did this,” he said in a low, chilling snarl. It almost made her spine shiver.

“I’m backing you up,” Maxie agreed, for once letting someone else lead.

Liz and Logan shared a look of mutual understanding, before she turned back to Alec who was still breathing with rage. She didn’t know where it came from, this need to never disappoint him. She wanted to take care of him. Maybe it was the sight of someone who was always so manly, so in control of himself, who now lay broken on the floor, his eyes betraying his toughness, the little boy screaming inside of him visible through his walls. So many walls.

“I—I don’t think I can do this by myself,” he admitted, so low, so pained, it broke her heart.

“You won’t have to,” Liz vowed fiercely.

“You’ll never have to,” Maxie added, just as fiercely.

“We’re all in this,” Logan agreed. “Together. We’ll fight for you, Alec.”

“We’ll fight with you,” Liz whispered into Alec’s ear, her arms still around him.

Maxie’s breath hitched as she looked outside the window, the meteor shower displaying its majestic beauty in the night sky. This wasn’t just them they were fighting for. It was for hundreds of people just like them that would perish in death did they not fight. She turned to her two best friends and Logan.

“It has arrived. It has begun.”

[RavenSprite]

I know. You must all be wondering… who is this RavenSprite I haven’t seen in a very long while? And what is this story, Steal Your Pain II about? It has been a long time and I’m still having a little trouble with certain parts of the story. I just wanted you all to know I’m definitely not leaving it, that I’m still very much an X-Tremer at heart, and that no matter what this was my first story and I’m sticking to it.

Thank you to everyone who’s been interested in it and I’m really honestly very, very sorry I’ve left you hanging. And… hope there are still some there interested in it.

CHAPTER #3~The Lady and The Tramp~

He that is not jealous is not in love.
~St. Augustine

The contemptuous scowl that fell unbecoming on her pretty face was accentuated by the glowering glare that her chocolate brown eyes were sporting. She was lying on the comfortable, carpet-covered floor of OC and Maxie’s place, her stomach to the ground as her elbows were propped, hands resting in her face.

The reason for her momentarily violent-induced temper was the screen in front of her (and of course, many vicious, vicious thoughts of Alec). Candy-wrappers and a pizza box lying around the bed, a can of soda in front of her as she scrutinized the television screen with her ever-present scowl.

According to Isabel and Original Cindy, the only way to truly get past seeing how truly ‘popular’ your boyfriend was with the ladies after a night clubbing, was to wallow ceremoniously and weep tragically in a darkened, light-absent room. And so, wallow she had. Making a statement by leaving Alec at the club and making sure he didn’t know where they were going, Liz had taken her three girls without a glance after the incident. And instead of doing any more bar hopping as OC had wished, Liz had slipped into her most comfortable cotton pajamas and the girls had let her be. Liz would always get a kick out of them because they were filled with big-whiskered cats of various colors. She wasn’t very humored today, however, as she put them on top of her, accompanied by her fluffy pink slippers and her robe.

And, so, maybe Isabel was right. Maybe Liz had gotten made at Alec a tad too hastily. But, she didn’t expect him to be such… a whore.

After the news they had received from Logan, it was actually Kyle’s idea to vent a little before they began their strategies. Isabel, Ava, and surprisingly Maxie had supported the idea, stressing that the Roswell gang was on Spring Break, and did deserve to have a little fun before they depressed themselves with confronting the terrorism against transgenics.

And so, Liz had gotten dressed up, had planned on having a fabulous first night with Alec and his friends after being introduced. Had fake ID’s thanks to Ava, was all up and ready to dance the night away. Until she saw Asha. Until she saw every other bimbo that pranced around Alec and touched his thigh as if they had known each other for years. He was known as the ‘Golden Boy’, Liz was informed. And he was the waitress’ and dancer’s favorite costumer. Not only was he a big tipper, but obviously, he’d had some sort of relation with one or the other. All of them, any of them—Alec knew them.

Liz glowered deeper.

“I love you.”

“Wait until he sees the next blonde with a shirt skirt, girlfriend,” Liz muttered, her voice muffled by the cream puffs she had just ingested as she talked to the figures walking on her television.

“There’s no one else in my life,” the handsome man on the screen was declaring.

“Humph! As if you’d ever say those words if you weren’t sure you could get her in the sack. Nice try, buddy.”

“Because I cannot imagine my life without you in it.”

Liz threw a piece of her chocolate to the screen. “Liar. LIAR!”

Isabel continued to observe Liz, shaking her head slightly. “Your crazy schizophrenia laced with sarcastic neurosis is seriously beginning to disturb me.”

“Well, he is,” Liz defended, sitting down with her legs crossed Indian style as she went to grab another pizza. “Does he even understand the gravity of his words? Is he aware of the commitment that belies the promises that he is making? No, he does not. Because he walks around with an ever-present member attached to his lower region. Because he’s a male. Males lack the brain capacity to understand what they say and the conviction to carry out what they have pledged. Sure, Mr. Darcy seems like the perfect prince, I’m sure. And poor little Lizzie Bennett’s gonna be heartbroken once she realizes that behind the practiced charm and the smooth-talking words lives an arrogant jerk that will always belong to the evil specimen. And so, as their fairytale-turned-disaster spins out of control, she will start to question the things that he does. Like, why does he come home with the smell of a different female perfume then the one she usually wears? And why is he more distant then usual? Why is her ‘I love you’ not returned in earnest as it used to?”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me,” Isabel grumbled, grabbing a pizza herself.

“Damn right I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you why! Because every night he’s supposed to have been working arduously he’s been flirting with his new secretary, a woman that is prettier and young enough to still roll around in the playpen. And of course she’ll have a tacky name like Bunny or Babe or something. And so Lizzie continues being the perfect wife and believes all of the pretty little lies that the pretty little package that Mr. Darcy is, tells her. She’ll give all that she has and he’ll just take it all, the sneaky son of a bitch. And when she asks him why he’s distant and he claims that it’s nothing, she’ll believe him. Because of his beautiful face and his irresistible charm that he displays, the bastard. And do you know what happens then, Isabel?!” she demands, her eyes wild as she crawls on her knees over to her friend, the television long forgotten.

Isabel, frightened to receive her friend’s backlash, and persuaded by her entire speech, nears her. “What?”

“He’ll cheat on her! Deceive her in the most atrocious way and for a young-looking hooker named Bunny!”

Isabel gasped with shock. “She’ll lose her self-respect!”

“She’ll spend her precious tears over the two-timing, low life!”

“Gain ten pounds!” Isabel added, hands on her face as she imagined the horror.

“She’ll be bitter!” Liz chided in mournfully.

“And angry.”

“And mistrusting.”

“And fat,” Isabel finished tearfully.

Liz stopped midway to opening her mouth, slightly bemused by Isabel’s last remark, ignoring it all the while as she grabbed Isabel’s hands. “Do you see? Do you see why men are the root of all evil? They pursue you and pursue you whispering sweet nothings in your ear, because they perfectly know what it is you want to hear! They whisk you away promising you rainbows and flowers and dreams. They prey on your innocence and good heart, Isabel!”

One hour and a pizza box later, Isabel and Liz were on their second ‘wallow-fest’ movie.

“You’re beautiful. And I’m quite in love with you.”

“Ha! Bet he also says that to Bunny!”

~*~

“Liz! Open up.”

Liz groaned. Why exactly had she gone back to Joshua’s?

She snorted. “Fat chance, jerk.”

“ELIZABETH!” Alec yelled, pounding more strongly.

He only called her by her full name in very rare circumstances, much like this one.

“Alec!!” she reciprocated, her tone in mock anger that rivaled his.

“Open the door, Liz.”

“Uh… no.”

“You know I can throw it down in second! Do you really want Joshua to lose his door?”

Joshua howled his response softly in the background.

Liz sighed, opening the door. Defiantly she raised her chin. “I’m going to make like a tree and leave now. So… bye!”

“Liz…” Alec warned.

She turned to him, the fire in her eyes stopping him from insisting. She was making her way towards the door, but he grabbed her waist and led her to their room, ignoring Joshua’s howls and OC and Maxie’s protests.

“Will you stop being so difficult?”

“You know what? I don’t want to. So I’m not going to. So there.”

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose. “Since when are you such a brat?”

“I am NOT a brat!” Liz breathed in disbelief.

Alec chuckled. “Then will you at listen to me?”

“I am not!” She repeated. “It’s not my fault if I’m at shock at what a man-whoring ass you are, you… ASS!”

“Liz,” he pleaded.

She was about to give in as she heard his soft voice, but could only imagine Asha’s arm all around him.

“Let’s just go to sleep,” she muttered.

Alec sighed, knowing that arguing with her at this point would be futile. Instead, he grabbed the pillow in a huff and began to accommodate himself in the bed.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she answered, shaking her head.

“Now what!?” he hissed in frustration.

“You just sat down on the right side of the bed.”

“And…?”

“You know I sleep on the right side of the bed, Alec.”

“Oh, not this…”

“I need to sleep on the right side. The right side is me. I am the right side. Now move your ass, buddy.”

Alec smirked. “You usually just sleep on top of me.”

“Why, you…” she muttered.

“I’m sleeping on the right side, Liz. Deal with it.”

“Fine. I guess I’ll just sleep on the floor then.”

“Liz…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. Did she honestly believe he’d just let her sleep on the floor??

“What?” she barked.

“Nothing.”

Liz opened her mouth in shock. “You were just going to let me sleep on the cold, dark floor?”

“You’re being stubborn, Elizabeth.”

“I like the right side, Alec.”

“Fine, have the fucking right side, princess!”

She opened her mouth and then pouted. “I don’t like your tone.”

She knew she was being a shrew, and she was doing this on purpose.

He laughed and put his hands over his face. Women. “You’re mental, you know that? Will you please stop bitching? If you’re angry, just hit me and get it over with.”

“Excuse me for bitching then! I didn’t really expect to find my boyfriend being fondled by a bunch of little skanks. And you were just enjoying it weren’t you? Well, if I’m so difficult then I guess I’ll just make this very easy for you,” she answered, grabbing her quilt, putting it over herself and marching out of the room slamming the door shut.

“You’re being unreasonable!” Alec shouted, opening the door and marching along with her. Joshua, OC and Kyle, turned to them, stopping their conversation at their sudden screaming match.

“Unreasonable! I’m being unreasonable? You just called me a brat, a princess, a bitching nightmare, so I was going to crash at someone else’s room! Why don’t you go call ASHA if you need a warm bed?” Liz replied, in the same volume he had moments earlier.

He growled with frustration. “Look who’s talking. You’re the one who came home at the wee hours of the morning!”

“After you were surrounded by your little groupies!” she retorted, crossing her arms.

“You make it sound like there were many!”

“Weren’t there!?”

“What’s—” Joshua paused with confusion. “What’s going on?”

Alec sighed and gave him a fake cheery smile. “We’re having a moment.”

Liz sneered. A moment. Ha! The little tramp...

OC cleared her throat. “Lizzie girl and I weren’t doing anything wrong. Took her clubbing, had some little fun, met up with a few friends…”

Alec raised his eyebrow towards Liz. “Any male friends?”

She grinned cheekily in response. “You wouldn’t believe all the numbers I pulled in.”

Alec glared at her. “You’re infuriating.”

“And you’re a whore!”

“I was a whore!” he corrected indignantly. “That all changed the day I fell in love with you!”

She was stunned into speechlessness.

His cheeks were red, both from anger at her stubbornness and embarrassment that they were having this particular conversation in front of their friends, but if it was going to make her forgive him, then so be it. Her eyes were watery, and he suddenly found all of his irritation and frustration evaporate from within him. He knew she held a way with him, and as much as he wanted he couldn’t stay angry for long, or even get angry for what she did or what she said because in some way, he loved her so much he understood it. He knew if Liz had had a lot of guys surrounding her with invitations, he’d be popping veins as well. And, her angry jealousy was kinda hot too.

Liz sighed, biting her lip and looking away. “You have such a long list of girls, Alec…”

“Do you honestly believe that I care about any of those women?” he asked her, almost demanded her, his eyes softening as they stared at her intensely—the kind of gaze that made her knees buckled, her eyes went dreamy, and she was reduced to a speechless, mere puddle in his hands. Her utter weakness. “Would it make you feel better to know I don’t even remember their names!?”

“Not really, no.”

“Okay then.”

She just didn’t know what to do with it. She knew it was irrational, to be angry at him for something he couldn’t change. But just the thought of him being with so many girls, when she had only given herself to him made something inside of her twist furiously. Liz had never really thought of herself as a possessive person but she hadn’t wanted all of those women to be with him, even if he hadn’t even known her.

Liz sighed. He was actually indignant that she believed him to be a womanizing player, when each and every proof that lay right under her nose proved her right? “You don’t get it, do you? Alec, all these fuck buddies of yours… is that who you were? Taking any girl that you could get and then just leaving them behind?”

“I can’t change who I was,” Alec said feebly, his face displaying the hurt and regret that he felt. “Asha was a mistake. Just like I’ve made many of them. I already told you before. You—you don’t know all of the things I’ve done, or seen, or said, and by Buddha I hope you never do. Just like I can’t change who I was I can’t change who I’ve been with. But Liz I’m different from that guy. And I love you so much. You know that. You’re the only one I ever want to be with.”

Liz’s eyes softened. “Alec…”

A sniffle interrupted their moment, and they both turned to see OC, Joshua, and Kyle staring at them. OC sniffled again. “That – was – so – pretty. My golden boy’s all in love.”

Alec chuckled, shaking his head but his eyes focused on Liz. She walked over to him and put her arms around his neck, hugging him to her as he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Can we go to sleep now?” Alec asked.

Liz peered at him and whispered softly, “Only if I get the right side.”

~*~

[RavenSprite]

I know, I know. You must think your eyes are deceiving you, and I'm awfully sorry about the long length of days between the updates. But, to make up for the long time, I have a new banner for the story (that I did myself, thank you very much) and a new chapter for you. I didn't want to write an Author's Note because I know you all hate those lol. So, if there are any people that are still actually sticking to the story, I hope you enjoy this.



Brushes used are made by Annikah Von Holdt.

CHAPTER #4~And So It Begins...

"Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all."
~Author Unknown


Isabel Evans had realized long ago, that life was painful. Sometimes, it was the shittiest thing she would ever have to live. Over and over in her sad, alien-existing life. It’s sad, and never easy... even if it was all she had at that moment, moments when she felt herself breathe and reassured herself she was alive. Moments when she had come undone, had been broken, had felt calloused and sad and full of self-hatred... and now she was at the point where she was lost. She had tried doing everything, even preferred to pain... and now all she was reduced to was feeling nothing.

She knew she had no reason to really be jealous of the people around her. But seeing Kyle all funny-guy on Maxie and Liz and Alec trying unsuccessfully to not touch each other every minute was driving her slowly to the point of violent insanity.

Sometimes people want things that are never good for them. Kind of like poison, like drugs. You want more, even if it is hurtful, you purposefully go look for it, even if you’re aware that it could never lead to anything fruitful. Poison is deadly, and drugs are addictive. But she could, not for one second, stop feeling and breathing Alex’s presence. She wanted to dream with him again - though she hadn’t, for what felt the longest of times. She was supposed to be enjoying her senior trip, nad yet, all she wanted was to weep a little, and die just a little. It suffused everything else that she felt.

"Hardships are a passing thing," Isabel heard from behind her. She turned around and smiled at Joshua, who was sitting down in front of his canvas, sketching her. "Isabel might not believe that, but Big Fella knows. Sun will still shine, jokes still are funny, and Isabel still beautiful."

Isabel’s smiled brightened a little. "Thank you, Joshua," she answered, moving a bit closer, wrinkling her nose as she inspected the painting. "I think you are a little too grandstanding when it comes to what you see."

Joshua shook his head. "Only draw what I see."

"Have you ever wanted to hurt yourself, Joshua? And got frustrated when you realized that you couldn’t? The only reason I even want to feel pain is to see if... if I can still feel at all," Isabel whispered softly.

Joshua frowned. "Joshua doesn’t understand."

Isabel sighed. "Ever since I could remember...breathing, there is another side of me that no one sees. It’s the side that cries her heart out when, on the outside, perfect Isabel Evans has to look defiant and untouchable. It’s the side that has fragile dreams and innocent wishes and a longing for a boy with blue eyes so deep she wants to weep. She’s the other Isabel that yells inside the silence I’ve always submitted to, to my brother and everyone else. And maybe it doesn’t make sense to you Joshua, but this other Isabel, this little girl still inside of me? I love her. And I need to protect her. I can’t show this side to anyone because if they do, they’ll see how easily I break and how scared I am of everything. And so, maybe it hides inside the icy cold nature that you’ve seen me display the first time I met you... I can’t run from it. And sometimes I don’t want to."

Joshua shook head. "Why hide? You’re not a monster... like me."

Isabel’s heart broke at his certainty. "Joshua..."

"Joshua a monster," he whispered softly. " Can’t… can’t be seen."

Isabel shook her head, smiling softly. "Do you see this, Joshua?" she asked, pointing to the painting of hers, deeply woven with detailed intricacies that she had never believed anyone could see. Her eyes were sad and poignant and hopeful and scared, and he managed to capture that. "This is beauty. It’s art. And do you know who are the only ones who can paint like this, Joshua?"

"Who?" he asked, curious.

Isabel smiled again. "There are many different kinds of ballerinas, and musicians, and painters. Some that have the hands, others the dedication, many the discipline and the determination. Very few have heart, Joshua. This is a drawing from someone who has much heart. No one who has this beautiful a soul, can ever be a monster."

"Joshua have heart?" he asked, pointing to his chest.

Isabel nodded. "Yes. Much, much heart. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Liz rolled her eyes. "I can’t believe you just spent half an hour on your hair."

Alec huffed. "Princess, it’s important. See, Kyle’s hair, for instance. Tragedy."

"I’m this close to kicking your ass," Kyle muttered.

Alec chuckled heartily, walking by Kyle and proceeding to slap him in the back of his head. "Innocent, delusional child. As if you could."

"Why you - "

"I wouldn’t expect a plebeian such as yourself to understand the unearthly god such as myself, Kyle."

Liz ended up laughing at Kyle’s expression.

"This one?"

Maxie scrunched up her face, which was at that particular moment covered with a green facial mask. She had a nail liner in her hand and was wearing a dark bathrobe with gothic colors splattered around it. "Eh."

"What about this one?"

Liz wrinkled her nose, looking up from the magazine she was reading, sporting the same mask that Ava had on her face, only she was wearing a pale blue bathrobe. "Eh…" she shrugged, "it doesn’t speak to me."

Kyle sighed in frustration. "Listen, people. This is a very important night for me!"

The two faces stared at him blankly.

Kyle sighed with frustration, putting both shirts in the bed and turning to Alec, who was still looking at himself in the mirror. "You should go out more often, both of you," he advised, going back to the bathroom to change. They could hear his voice from the other room. "You’re young, live like young people for once!"

Liz groaned. "I’m tired. After all I’ve been through, I don’t want to live like a young person. I want to live like an old person, lying on the couch and fattening myself up madly."

Maxie snickered. "I’d love to keep you company."

Liz grinned at her. "Yeah. We’ll cook up margaritas and have a party of our own, right Maxie?"

"Definitely."

"Besides," Liz said smoothly, eyes trailing over to Alec, who was smiling at himself, "I thought you stressed out it was a boys’ night?"

"It is," Kyle answered just as smoothly.

Alec shook his head, hands touching his jawline. "Why God? Why did you make me so damn beautiful?"

Maxie rolled her eyes in disgust and Liz turned to her. "Is it healthy I’m dating someone that worships himself?"

"Not really."

"I thought so."

"I thought Ava was going to be here any minute now," Maxie frowned.

"She probably didn’t want to leave Logan alone," Liz answered thoughtfully, turning to Alec. "You really should invite him."

"We did. It’s not our fault he wants to pine away in his bed for our little Maxie."

"Hey!" came her protest.

"You gotta admit the guy’s been through a lot," Kyle pointed out.

Alec nodded. "It must suck being in love with someone who doesn’t want to be with them," he paused thougthfully, once again grabbing at his chin. "I wonder what that’s like."

Liz rolled her eyes. "Uh, babe? There must have been some point in your life you were interested in someone of the female gender who didn’t reciprocate your affections."

Alec patted her head affectionately. "Love, don’t be silly."

Maxie’s eyes narrowed. "You’re so vain."

"I prefer the term ’aware of thy own’s beauty.’ "

"Yeah, girls will be lining up for you tonight, won’t they?" Liz asked with nonchalance, though a scowl was marring her pretty face.

Alec leaned down to kiss her nose. "Anger becomes you, doll."

"Which is why you should stay with us tonight," Liz answered, grabbing at his collar coyly.

Alec grabbed her wrists gently, but firmly. "You cannot entice me with your feminine wiles, woman! I promised Kyle I’d show him around, and show him around I will!"

"Amen!"

Liz glowered at them. "As long as you don’t come home with a can-can dancer, then I guess it’s all right."

"I promise it will all be in innocent fun," Alec affirmed.

"You’ll be good?" Liz asked, pointing a finger at him.

"Aren’t I always?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Maxie inquired innocently.

Alec threw her a pillow, leaning towards Liz.

Her lips took possession of his soundly, and though it wasn’t long it was enough to make him forget why the hell he wanted to go out with Kyle alone in the first place.

She pulled away, a soft smile on her lips. "I’ll see you later?"

"Uh-huh."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Liz chewed her lip nervously as she threw the garbage into the dumpster, the feeling that she was being watched ever present in her mind. Having been around Maxie and Alec long enough, she’d grown well into her five senses.

"Maxie?"

She backed away fearfully as she saw the figure walking towards her in the shadows, a powerful light emanating from it that Liz was unable to block, even with a force field around her. The light jumped out at Liz, as she flew to the wall, her head hitting forcefully on it as she fell from the impact, gasping. She wished she could scream, wish she could call for Maxie, Isabel, Joshua, but the fear was so palpable, the pain so tangible it almost crushed her body whole, she was left immobile and speechless, gasping for words, for tears, for anything other then the silence that she had fallen to. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t use any of her powers, felt every emotion and thought drain out of her as she was left with nothing but weak emptiness.

She never felt the tears, never felt the small prickes of blood from the back of her head. Her eyes could only concentrate on the figure that had proceeded to walk - run - along the streets, faster then she could ever imagine. She couldn’t see. A cloud of tears were forming in her eyes and they fell heavily. Hot, thick tears painfully sliding past her cheeks as she stared at the dumpster in front of her.

She tried croaking out Alec’s name, but found it impossible.

And finally, darkness swallowed her whole. [/img]

[RavenSprite]

I would like to apologize for the short length of the chapters. As you can see, I'm not just dealing with Liz and Alec. I'm trying to incorporate more fully other characters just as important. So, there are a few other chapters that I need to work on before I fully launch on the story, and they will be longer, I promise. Thank you for your reviews, and hopefully I'll keep an agreeable updating pace.

CHAPTER #5

We must learn to let go, to give up, to make room for the things we have prayed for and desired.
~Charles Fillmore


He paced. Back and forth, back and forth, paced, chewed on his lip to the point where he felt a coppery-taste in the insides of his mouth.

"Kyle, come sit down. You’re driving me crazy," Ava muttered, though her feet were nervously tapping on the floor, hands wringing about.

"I had a feeling this was a bad idea. Coming here," Kyle admitted, shaking his head, hands shakily moving to touch his temples. "Oh God, when we came back... all that blood..." he grimaced as the scene played over in his head, pounding on the wall before returning to his pacing.

"That doesn’t work," Ava informed him.

Kyle looked clueless, and even a little annoyed. "What doesn’t work?"

"Getting angry so you don’t have to be sad. One things that being angry is a lot more satisfying than being heartbroken. Anger doesn’t have all the emotions that pain does. And getting so angry that you don’t have to think, or really feel, about what’s bothering you," Ava answered.

"She’s going to be okay, Kyle. You and Isabel healed her the most that you could," Ava whispered softly, prodding him to move closer. He put his arms around her, hugging her so tight she almost felt he’d break her ribs but she didn’t care. And all he could think about was the excruciating pain that he had felt the minute his hands touched Liz’s head, the emotions she had gone through as she was attacked. Her cranium had been... Kyle shuddered.

Without words she managed to soothe him, wrap him inside of her. And in his angered silence, he knew he was cared for. His eyes widened however, as he felt Ava’s lips begin to descend towards his.

He backed away, and stood up, ignoring the hurt in her face.

He chuckled nervously. "That... wasn’t supposed to happen."

She looked at him for a moment, his handsome face as he stared out into the sky, searching for what could never be, searching for someone who was gone and was not coming back, someone whom had destroyed him...

Ava sighed. "I knew that was why you’d always look at me like..."

"Like what?"

"Like it’s painful," she whispered softly. "You’d always look into my eyes like it hurt. And... I tried shruggin’ it away, ya know. What you feel... isn’t what I feel."

"If I could choose to," he began, swallowing the odd lump in his throat, "I would love you. I would give you so much love and... and I could let myself be happy with you." The conversation seemed to come out of left-field, seeing as how they had never discussed anything about the two of them. People had just assumed they would fall into each other eventually, but he knew better. Had always known better. His hair was unkempt and his eyes were wild, and he seemed to back away with every word, to the point where she could no longer reach him. "But I can’t do that. Ava... I’m not sure I even know how to love anymore. I loved deeply, a girl with your same pale eyes and the same button nose... I think I loved her so much that when she was gone, there wasn’t anything in me left to give. I - I became calloused, and I’m - I’m really sorry."

He tried telling himself it wasn’t tears forming in the pools of her eyes, when he was saved from saying anything else. Alec stuck his head outside of the window. "Kyle? I - I need to talk to you and Maxie. Alone."

Kyle nodded, his eyes turning once more to Ava, his hands itching to touch her, console her, apologize for something that wasn’t either of their faults.

Sighing heavily, he trudged back inside.

Only then did Ava break.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kyle walked past Isabel’s worried gaze, and Joshua and Logan’s silent reveries. He stopped at the door frame, feeling like an intruder. Alec was sitting on the bed Liz was lying in, hand tangled in her dark hair as he whispered. The last thing he heard Alec say was ’I’m sorry’, before turning to Kyle.

He stood up with composure and elegance Kyle had once been envious of, though now he was sure it was all just an act. The two moved towards the room opposite, where Maxie was sitting down, as pale as Kyle had ever seen her. Her eyelashes drooped forward and her hands wouldn’t stop trembling. He noticed she had biten her nails to the point she was tearing flesh - since when did Maxie chew her nails?

"Kyle - I really need your help right now," Alec began, facing the window as the pale moonlight shone on his face, never letting anything else seem accessible.

"Sure. Anything," Kyle promised, the loyal friend in him emerging. He needed to feel useful, needed to do something, anything to help in whatever happened tonight with Liz.

"You are all... leaving in a few days," Alec began cautiously, and Kyle was aware he didn’t include himself.

"I’m going to need you to be there with Liz... help her accept I can’t go with her."

Kyle’s eyes widened. "You’re... you’re going to leave Liz?"

"I told him it was a fucked up plan," Maxie sneered from beside him.

"And I told you you know shit," Alec sneered back.

Kyle felt like an intruder, almost awkward at the animosity being displayed by the two of them.

"I do know, you’re scared. You’re scared because you feel Liz is going to end up like Rachel - "

He stood up, facing Maxie, their noses brushing furiously. "You know what, Max? You didn’t know shit about Rachel, and you don’t know shit about Liz, all right?" Alec shouted, crushing the cup with his hands, the shreds falling from the floor. He made a point of not using his nick name for her-he’d always use ‘Max’ when he was seriously pissed off.

"You don’t know hell about me or Liz. You got it? Did you get that, Max? I love her. I. Love. Her. Every day, all the time. Without limits and certainly without measure. There is nothing that I love more than I ever do her. I’m never going to get over her, never going to stop seeing her face in my mind, feeling her soul burning inside of me. I am going to die loving her. Don’t you dare… don’t you dare question that-ever again." His voice was rampant with anger he still didn’t know he possessed, the menacing stance of his making Maxie back away a small nudge.

"She’s a half-alien for crying out loud!" he continued, the dam already open. "What did you think we were going to do, huh? Have a date every Friday night and then one that follows running from a secret facility that’s looking for me? And if god forbid Lydecker or White gets her as leverage, payback, or bait, then what? I shake my head and say ‘oops?!’ Let it all go so she can be attacked by a Familiar? They burned our family, Maxie. Burned, tore limb by limb, opened their chests, grabbed at their hearts, crushed their brains, shocked to distortion-alive. And I’ve already accepted they might come looking for me. But Liz? What, you think Manticore wouldn’t be interested in making a soldier out of someone with her extraordinary abilities? You think they’d just walk away from someone who could potentially be as powerful as they want? Better yet, you think Lydecker wouldn’t put on a show, killing her right in front of me to teach me a lesson? Because you know he would-and he’d enjoy it. And who would lead her right into the devil’s lair, Maxie? WHO?!"

He was met with silence. Maxie’s eyes were slightly bulged open, her stance no longer daring, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Who?" he repeated, a soft cry. "I was fooling myself," he bit out harshly, "believe that I could be normal, that I could lead a normal life and get away from all of this. Liz already dealt with her demons. Nasedo and Tess are long gone. Alex’s death was avenged. For right now, she doesn’t have anyone at her tail, no special unit, no FBI. I do. I’m glad Logan sticks by you. If he’s stupid enough to walk into this with open eyes, knowing what’s coming, then, good for the two of you. Glad he has a death wish. I hope you’re all happy. But you know what? Logan is not my problem."

He breathed heavily, finally pausing, wondering if he’d actually said all of the words he’d had bottled up inside of him since Liz’s attack. Noticing Maxie and Kyle’s bewildered, stunned, frantic faces, he knew his answer. Alec sighed, covering his face with his hands. "Sometimes…" he swallowed back his tears-he’d be damned if he started crying again, in front of them of all people-and gulped down the big, suffocating lump on his throat, "sometimes you have to give up the thing you want the most to set them free.

"And Liz…" he stopped, covering his eyes for a minute. Alec tried swallowing the lump down his throat again, tried blinking. Dammit why did he feel the need to cry? He wasn’t a fucking sissy. Crying was for girls and pansies and wilting flowers, NOT for a genetically empowered transgenic. , "she was the one thing that was mine. All I had of value. I need to give it up. If I’m going to forsake my life, I’m going to walk into it with empty pockets, like I always had. We live dangerous lives. And because of who we are, I’ll always be danger… I’ll always bring death to those I love, even if I don’t want to, because I can’t help it. And they come with dire consequences. And sometimes those consequences are people’s lives. I am not about to gamble Liz’s life away because I was greedy, because I was selfish and I wanted her by my side. I will not let her have Rachel’s fate. For once, I’m doing the right thing. So don’t question my decision, and don’t ever question how I feel."

"I’m sorry, Alec," Maxie finally said awkwardly.

Alec shrugged. "Whatever. I just need to get the fuck out of here."

Maxie closed her eyes.

Kyle sighed. "So this is it?"

She nodded helplessly. "This is it."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Loving her had been his religion.
And all the while he was there, needing to learn how to stay without her. All of that passion, all of those feelings… the irony that they’d be put in his heart for nothing. And so he stayed there, inside of his loneliness. It was really hard to be so noble when his body was calling for hers so desperately.

What was he left with? Yes, a lot of good memories of the two of them together and a chunk full of heartache? He needed to stay away from her, because looking into her sleeping form... he would just risk everything. He would gamble his life even if he knew he would lose, just for her. And that was the sigh of things, he’d learned-when you love someone nothing is enough.

Throughout his life-and the short part of it he’d spent outside of Manticore-he’d been taught the limit of passion, the boundaries of physical and emotional space, human interaction. And Liz herself had taught him many things. Love, loyalty, beauty… never had anyone ever taught him the aching pain of having to say goodbye, of having to walk away. No, he’d learn that all on his own now that he’d had to do it himself.

He would try to reasure himself that he could protect her, that he would find a way to make it work… and then the mental image of her being thrown across a wall came back to him, and his resolve would strengthen. For the first time in his life Alec was doing the right thing, for the right reason, for the right person.

Alec rolled his eyes as he felt someone sit on a stool beside him. "Maxie sent you to check up on me?" he asked dryly, drumming his fingers on the table as he ignored the female bartender that was obviously staring at the two of them-had been staring at Alec for the past hour.

"You okay?" Logan asked, ignoring his rudeness.

"I’m-"

" ‘always all right,’" Logan finished for him sarcastically. "Yeah, yeah. Now you wanna tell me the truth?"

Alec, shocked that someone had called him on his bluff, stared at the table before turning to him with doubt in his eyes. "I-I am doing the right thing. You know, for once. Call it once in a blue moon or whatever. She’s better off, man."

"You’re doing the exact same thing Maxie did to me. Let me tell you something, that pisses off a person-taking away their will of choice," Logan observed, motioning for the bartender to serve him a drink.

Alec snorted. "Yeah. Only difference is you’re here. Okay? I can’t… I couldn’t ask Liz to stay. To give up everything for a battle that isn’t hers to fight in."

"You sure it’s not because you’re scared?"

Alec shot the glass of dry vodka on the table and hissed at Logan, "This is not about fear, Cale. This is about a girl, who’s beautiful and incredibly smart. She should have the opportunity of living a normal life."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "You know, she isn’t quite so normal herself."

"She certainly doesn’t need my problems to add on to hers," Alec retorted. "Don’t you get it? They’re killing each and every one of us. I’m going to have to look behind my back every day for the rest of my life, I think. And why on earth would I subject Liz to that kind of life? Why would she ever want to? I wasn’t about to lose her because I chose not to let her go. She could have died."

"You realize that doesn’t make much sense."

He had known, the minute that she had literally fallen into his arms and he’d teased her about her uniform-he had known a story had begun that day, whether he would like it or not. Forgetting was an effort he wasn’t being too keen on-he’d rather let the memories hurt then stop feeling them at all. It was all he had left of her. One day he’d probably tire of living with hope, but for now, he’d let every word, every kiss, every conversation seep into his mind, drink himself to oblivion and then begin the next day.

"So… you’re letting her go," Logan stated.

Alec shrugged, trying to downplay the magnitude of the sentiment, the pang of the realization. His face was crumpled, and his shoulders were hunched, but he’d be damned if he let Logan Cale see his fucking heart was breaking.

"You and Maxie both have that stupid stubbornness," Logan confessed, shaking his head.

Alec couldn’t help himself. The rumble of Logan’s laughter in his stomach made its way into Alec’s ears, and he tried giving him a glare.

"Maxie seems to think you two are good for each other."

Alec didn’t answer.

"You know, Alec, the minute I heard from Maxie you’d gotten a girlfriend, I can’t tell you how incredulous I was," Logan began, a faint smile. "I thought you’d never be able to change. I’d felt bad for the poor girl you’d suckered. I thought for sure it couldn’t last, because, well, you’re a whore."

"Thanks," Alec quipped wryly.

"I was wrong," Logan added.

Alec regarded him curiously. "What changed your mind?"

"Many things. I realized you weren’t the same whoring, adventurous punk who always had a problem with authority. I never believed, in my wildest dreams the whoring part would vanish the minute you laid eyes on an eighteen-year old small girl with long dark hair. But it happened. I see how you look at her. It’s… it’s the way I look at Maxie. I saw how you were with her, and I knew you didn’t want to be with anyone else."

"I don’t," Alec answered ruefully.

"And what are you going to do? Live the rest of your life alone while she eventually learns to move on?" Logan demanded. "She isn’t going to wait forever. And there’s going to come a time when she’s going to have to find someone else, one that won’t take no for an answer, ones that won’t let her go because of their need to protect her and instead they’ll hold her tight and fight with their lives for her. What are you going to do then? Are you going to be able to live with the fact that she’s with someone else?"

"Why am I even talking to you?" Alec snapped.

Logan grinned languidly. " ‘Cause who wouldn’t want to talk to me? I’m a great friend!"

Alec gave him a look.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Fine, ‘cause I’m the only one here. Geez. Do you want to talk or not!?"

Alec didn’t answer, just gulped loudly. He hadn’t really thought about it. But just picturing Liz with someone else-with Max Evans made his entire blood boil.

"Just drop it," Alec finally answered. "I won’t change my mind."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long

There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress

There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Learn to say good-bye
~Madonna

[RavenSprite]

Important Author’s Note:The reason I am updating so quickly is because I might not be able to do so for the next week, and I thought I should leave this because, frankly, I can’t wait to get it out there! I have been waiting to write this for some time now. This takes places weeks after Liz and the gang have gone back to Roswell - without Alec, Ava, or Maxie. What I wrote in the prologue already happened, and we’ve skipped six weeks to the Roswellian’s graduation.

Some of you might get mad at me for some parts of this chapter, and I apologize. The Loyalist in me couldn’t not write this. In case some of you forgot who Lydia Chastity is, I’d like you to read a passage from the first Steal Your Pain, and the only passage where Ames White makes his appearance:

Ames White liked the feeling of the tobacco filtering his lungs, encompassing the burning swirl of smoke as he played idly with the wood of the desk, the fingertips barely drumming it, his eyes in a faraway, distant reverie.

"What is truth?" he asked the woman that was sitting across his desk. She was not as powerful as he, for she did not exude power as perfunctorily as he did, nor did she look as regal and dangerously soulless as he looked. No, she feeds her anger with his. She knows his blood is as dark and sinister as hers, and so she melds within him.

"What is it, Lydia?" he asked her once more. "There is no truth. People do not lie to the world. They lie to themselves."

"It always hurts most, not when you hurt the enemy," Ames White said to her. "But the soft spot-for everyone and their mother has a soft spot. Hers is so easily pathetic to spot. How did someone as perfectly designed as her, someone as beautifully purposed for a malicious and cruel intent become so enraptured in the human heart and its dismal fault? The heart remembers too much and relinquishes too little. It is not of the matter, I suppose. It only makes things much easier for me, in the end."

She saw that spark within him. It was the spark of the hunter before they caught their prey. It was as if they could almost smell the scent of the blood they would spill, the nearness of fear, of victory. "The devil can’t compete with you, sir," Lydia answered with admiration.

It was not a smile, for nothing so sinister could ever be mirthful. But the corners of his lips were turned, and she saw his pearly white teeth clash against his inner mouth. "Oh, Lydia.I am the devil."

Feedback Response:

ElfAngel3748 LOL!!! I literally laughed out loud reading your review. Yes Alec is stupid - he is a guy, so he is sometimes prone to those stupid-induced decisions men decide to make. So, since I don’t like it when it rains fire, here’s the next part, hoping it’s to your liking!

Calinia You’re right on all accounts, hon. Stupid and stubborn they can be. It’s why I often got frustrated with Maxie a lot of the times, too. She was just so sure she was doing everything for the good of the people she loved, she failed to see people can make the choice to risk for her. Same goes for Alec, the stupid git. And, yeah. I’m evil. But entirely harmless, I assure you. I am so glad you loved the Kyle/Ava scene! For some reason, I could never really see them being together. And, as the story progresses, you’ll really see what I mean.

Lyra!! Girl, I’ve missed you!! I haven’t even begun to read those fabulous new installations of yours, seeing as how they’re so long and I haven’t had the time. The minute I sit down to do so I’ll leave you a long, long feedback. Promise! See, I don’t like Logan all that much either. At times I was endeared but mostly he grated on my nerves. But in my story, I want him to be a good guy, and a little less high on the moral self-righteousness. I’m glad you’ve missed the story - I’ve missed writing it!

mrsjbehr. The only reason I can give for Alec’s spasm of irrationality is he is a man. Men are stupid, lol.

elfangel01 See, while I do think it’s stupid of him to take such a presumptious decision, and leave Liz from any will of choice she may have, I can really see him doing this. He genuinely believes it’s for the best. And it may be - you’ll see what I mean. He’s totally concentrated on Liz’s well-being, it comes first and for now, he can’t be with her 24/7 to protect her like he wants to. There’s a lot on his shoulders right now and he isn’t willing to risk Liz’s life. It may be stubborn heroic on his part, but it still comes from the good in his heart that Liz herself has made him see is there.

Traitor Um, well, see, I am going to defy you on that. Read the chapter - but please don’t kill me. Remember I’m an X-Tremer to the end. Thank you so much for your compliments, they mean the world to me!

WomanofMystery Hey there! Yes, Kyle has healing powers. I wanted him and Liz to have powers similar to Max’s, and they will slowly come to their own original ones, seeing as how the powers are human, only advanced. Max finally triggered their own abilities. I can promise you this - Alec and Liz will have the happy ending. Getting there, however, will prove painful. And all I ask is patience and and open mind. It’s going to get a lot, a lot worse before it can get better. But that’s the beauty of stories, I would think!

CHAPTER #6

The bright blue sky was half-covered by jubilant white clouds, as Liz Parker sat near an oak tree, her back resting on it as she kept mindlessly plucking the flowers in the ground beside her. Her toga was a few feet away from her, the valedictorian band still around her neck. The excitement - and nostalgia - was thick in the air for Roswell, as many of the seniors were piling in cars, shouting and honking their victorious triumphs, hugging and crying their regretful laments, yet she and Kyle Valenti just sat away from the entire commotion, both lost in their own thoughts as they gazed at what they had known their entire lives to be true. Their home, Roswell.

Her hair that she had curled for the evening was flying tameless through the wind, one hand of hers clasped to Kyle’s and the other buried in his hair. To anyone else it might have looked like a romantic, private scene but to them it contained the chaste friendship they had long ago begun to build. Whatever chasms they had formed sophomore year, whatever petty rivalries and their own relationship gone awry, that day full of commencement and unbridled opportunities, that day that meant good bye and not tomorrow, had filled their hearts with a dull ache. The prospect of not seeing each other daily in the hallways, of not being allowed to act like careless teenagers... Liz’s science fairs and Kyle’s football games. They were all left behind in the book they had just closed.

"It really was a nice speech," Kyle commented out of the blue.

"Not corny?" she teased.

"Oh, it was very corny. But I overlooked it."

The beautiful clouds that sometimes made her feel as if she were a bird and was able to fly, hovering by, making anything seem possible.

"We’ve known each other forever, haven’t we?" Liz asked in a dazed voice. "You, me. Maria..."

"Pretty much a whole lifetime," Kyle replied with an assertive nod.

She thoughtfully looked out ahead of her, her hands still playing with Kyle’s light brown hair. "You know, Kyle, if I could have done things different, after finding out who Max Evans was... I would have. I’m... I’m madly in love with Alec and I don’t regret my mistakes because it lead me to this moment. But sometimes, Kyle... sometimes... I do wonder how things would have been different."

He turned to her, surprised. If he was honest with himself, he had long ago wanted to hear some sort of confirmation from her. Before they started to get along again, he had inwardly gloated Liz and Max’s doomed romance. After seeing just exactly how shattered it had become, no grudge Kyle could have ever held against Liz would make him anything short of sympathetic. And now, now that she was his best friend, and in many ways, a true soul mate, those words didn’t change much. "Yeah?"

She smiled at him sadly, the kind of smile that never sprung from happiness. "Yeah."

His head left her lap as he straightened, eyes thoughtful as they assessed her face and curious brown eyes. Eyelashes fluttered close, and his lips slowly leaned to meet hers, stifling her gasp of shock. The familiar softness he used, as one would running a finger through a fragile rose petal, made her eyes sting with faded memories she had long ago tucked into her heart. His tongue only managed to run over her bottom lip before he was already pulling away, surprised to see she was dissapointed.

She tilted her head, eyes gazing at him lovingly. "What was that for?"

He shrugged, head moving back to her lap. "I just wanted to see if it still felt the same." The same. Butterflies in the stomach, unspoiled contentment in the belly, waves of unending peace and rightness.

Her tone was amused, though her words shaky as she knew what he meant. "Does it?"

"Surprisingly... yeah. It does."

She shook her head, eyes lowering to meet his. "We’re special, Kyle, aren’t we?"

"We are. We really are. You can’t go through everything we’ve gone through together and not be."

She nodded her agreement, hand moving from his hair as she grinned at his discontent, occupying herself once more with plucking the flowers from the grass, putting some in his hair.

"Nice, Liz. Nice."

She giggled. "They flatter you, Kyle."

She closed her eyes, new, warm, blistering tears finding their way to her face, tears mixed from her pain and her joy. She smiled softly, inwardly asking God what she had ever done to deserve someone as loyal and wonderful as Kyle? He had stood by her, had so much meaning to her. Kyle always backed her up, never once failed to be the pillar that held her together when she’d needed him. Her first kiss. Her first boyfriend. And now, her best friend. They worked so well, the two of them. He really did understand her, knew what she was feeling and why, and so he didn’t speak. He just sat there, holding her as she cried softly. Always her lifeline, always her sounding board.

"He hasn’t called, you know," she spoke up, and he didn’t need to ask who she meant.

"I’m sorry," he whispered softly, helpless as he did so.
Her shoulders shook slightly as her face crumpled, turning to him. "I’m so in love with him, Kyle. So much it… it hurts," she whispered, fazed by the acute pain she was feeling shrivel up inside of her, turning her inside out, nailing heartache into every little crevice of her entire flesh.

"I know, Lizzie. He loves you too."

"Then… why…?"

He smiled at her sadly. "His life is not exactly the safest, Liz. He wanted you to come back, live your life the way you want. Finish school and not have to deal with the big burden that’s been placed upon his shoulders."

She wiped the tears from her eyes, her hand holding on tighter to his. "But I would’ve, Kyle. I would’ve fought with him."

"I know that," Kyle acquiesced. "So did Alec. He didn’t want you to."

She sighed a shaky breath. "I know."

"I… I agree with him," Kyle continued hesitantly. Her eyes flashed with hurt, but he followed through anyhow. "You’ve been through so much. And, if we could have it our way, I’m sure the two of us would hop on a plane and fight with them and damn the consequences. But it’s so much more then that, Liz. I also want you safe. And you know what those monsters would do. Alec wouldn’t let him ask this of you, to become an assassin like him. You still have your life here. It didn’t stop. And it doesn’t mean you won’t be with Alec when all of this is over. It just means you’re going to have to wait a little."

"But he made it sound…" she swallowed, licking her dry lips painfully, "like it was forever! Like he wasn’t coming back, like he was just ready to die, Kyle! He was so resigned… God, what am I supposed to do?"

"You keep going," Kyle answered immediately. "Like you always do. Life takes a pretty big beating towards you, Liz Parker, but you find a way to remain controlled and in check through it all. I admire your strength in that. There’s nothing wrong with missing him, wanting him back, needing to hear from him. But you can’t stop your life while you do."

She sighed shakily, nudging him a little. "Why can’t we just be in love with each other?"

He chucked. "Because it would be far too easy, Parker. And we don’t like easy, do we?"

He paused. "Though, I think I'm always going to be in love with you a little."

She smiled at him. "I think I've always been in love with you a little too," she grinned, her smile freezing. "Ava told me..." Liz paused hesitantly.

Kyle sighed. "I didn’t want to hurt her," he said softly.

"I was so sure that you two would... I don’t know. I thought I felt something from your end, as well."

"I’m just not sure if it’s even real. I meant what I said to her, Liz. I... I don’t think I know how to love anymore. You... you all saw only Tess’ bad side. Her selfishness and... and cruelty. And I didn’t. I always, always saw there was more to her. And I loved it deeply. I loved... I even loved her hatred, as unhealthy as that sounds. She hated so much, loved so much... but her emotions, her own self, it was always deep, you know? One might think she doesn’t feel a thing, with her pale eyes that never betray what she’s going through. But she really feels so much, and she never knew how to deal with it."

"Nasedo," Liz answered dully.

Kyle nodded. "Imagine... imagine living your entire life told you should never feel anything, to the point where you actually accomplish that. Can you even begin to imagine how scary that is? To not feel anything... at all?"

She shook her head slowly.

"And then she’s let out into the wild, I guess you can say, surrounded by people her age and situations she’s never been in. People treat her a certain way, good or bad, and it forces a reaction out of her. She’s feeling. And she’s never done it before, and she hates herself for caring. I know... I know she killed Alex, Liz, and I really do hate her..."

"You can’t hate someone you love, Kyle," Liz said softly.

Kyle shook his head. "Yes you can. The only way you can hate someone this deeply is if you’ve loved them just as deeply before."

Because she didn’t have an answer, and Kyle knew this, they once again stayed in silence.

Liz looked down at Kyle, whose head was still in her lap, before she brushed her lips with his, her tongue hesitantly darting to meet his before losing herself in the sweetness. His hand reached upwards to cup her neck, easing his mouth over hers fully, re-memorizing what he’d already known by heart. Despite the people in their lives, whatever pain they had to go through, a small part of their hearts would always be strictly for the other.

She finally parted, lips plum and bruised, eyelashes fluttering incoherently as he stared at her, amused. "What was that for?"

She threw his words back at him. "I just wanted to see if it still felt the same."

"Does it?"

She smiled at him, innocently and broken. "Yeah. It does."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There was nothing but pitch dark surrounding Alec. He had tried squinting, but his eyes hurt up to the point where he had to close them again. He had no clue what day it was. The date. The hour. It should be irrelevant to him at this point but it angered him he had no idea. Utterly lost and infinitely despaired, he stared a the deck of cards lrying in the only table inside of the dark, cold cell. The cards were to teach him, Ames White had said. To remember how it was to lie, to cover up your emotions up to the point where you felt you didn’t have any. What it was like to kill, fool anyone and everyone. To become an animal again, and shred all human instinct.

Alec threw them to the floor, grabbing the table and throwing it to the wall with outrage, with anger.

He tried putting on his grimy shirt without flinching, but as he noticed, the bruises had not faded. He opened his mouth to reveal the dry patch inside, for he hadn’t talked in days. Hadn’t eaten in two. Water. That was all. He could try standing up, but the pain he felt in his limbs forced him to sit down again, limbs that were torn and scratched and bloody.

Alec laughed bitterly when he realized he had actually thought he would get through this alive. That he had actually thought they would let him go. Why on earth had he thought that, anyway? When had cynical Alec because so stupidly, fuckingly optimistic? He knew that answer, of course, which only angered him more. It had never hit him, just exactly the extent of evil and violence that Manticore encased within its wall. To ever put a living being through this kind of imprisonment, this kind of assault, brainwash, and damage…

His temples were exploding, and Alec had to grab his head to keep it from falling apart completely. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to resist their machines. Didn’t know how much his brain waves would resist before he ended up giving them everything he knew.

The door finally opened, and he laughed bitterly again. The sound seemed foreign, even in his own voice. He had never laughed this maliciously. It was a psy-ops/feline soldier-who went by the name of Lydia.

"Lydia Chastity. What honor graces me with your presence?"

The redheaded woman put her hands on her hips, leaning on the doorframe with a knowing smile on her lips, putting his food tray on the floor, pushing it with the heel of her foot. "Ames White was interested in knowing if you’d been content these past few days without water or his fun little games."

"I didn’t miss him if that’s what you’re asking."

"Why do you make this so hard, 494?"

"Because I will enjoy it even more later on, when I finally get my hands on him and make him pay."

Lydia shook her head. "You don’t just betray him and expect to get away with it unscathed, soldier."

Alec’s eyes leveled with hers. "And what about what’s he’s doing to me?"

Lydia shifted. "It was necessary."

"It was inhuman. Make no doubt, I will kill him. And I’ll enjoy sucking the life out of the son of a bitch."

Lydia shook her head, clucking her tongue. "No, you won’t. All we’re asking for is your defeat-and the location of 452. If only you’d tell us what you know you would be free, and there would be no need for revenge."

Alec threw the bread to the floor, standing up and inching her closer. "I’m not about to sell out Maxie. And I’ll never be your pawn again. Never will I operate on your missions."

"We could just brainwash you again."

Alec shook his head. "You need me too much currently to do that."

"It is true," Lydia finally admitted. "What you don’t understand it is only a matter of time before we wipe your memories clean anyway. We aren’t about to do that-yet." She tilted her head, staring at his beaten face with wonder. "What is it about the world that you and 452 treasure so much?"

Alec remained quiet, but Lydia grinned at him wickedly. "Do not tell me you believe in foolish notions such as love, 494. I already told you I’d help you escape. I’d go against White. You just have to do one little thing for me. Or should I say, to me?"

He did nothing, remaining deadly silent as two guards went to his either side and performed what he had come to know as their daily ritual. He didn’t give them information, they pounded on him until all he could see was red-blotched spots, and he literally had to bite his lips to keep from yelling the information they wanted. The only thing that kept him sane… the only thing that kept him alive was the thought of… her. Her every kiss, her every smile, her every word. He tried concentrating on the memory of her skin, how she had felt, the beauty, the passion, and her achingly beautiful face that eased the pain.

"That’s quite enough," Lydia said, unfazed by Alec’s blood. "You can leave us alone now."

Alec doubled over in pain, but managed to glare at her, spitting out blood from his mouth. "You tell your masters this. I owe nothing. And you-I don’t need you sparing me shit. I’ll make it out, on my own."

"You’re already in too deep," Lydia answered with an evil laugh. "He’s already got you at the tip of his finger. And if he wants, he can brainwash you again-so badly all he’d need to do is say a word to active the killing machine inside of you that is just waiting to get out."

"Shut up," he growled lowly. "And leave."

"Why do you do it?" she asked with wonder, ignoring his request. "Why do you fight who you are? You are devious, you’re so bad inside that it’s good. Why deny yourself from the greatness that you were once? Why do you give up the opportunity to be invincible? And for what? Agent 452, who’s so incredibly insipid she wants humanity? Or is it for your precious little kitten? She must be a hellcat in bed for you to keep such interest."

Alec lunged towards her, grabbing her by the neck as he eased her high into the air.

Lydia licked her bottom lip. "So you like it rough. Good. I do too." Her eyes changed from playful and in charge to pathetically smitten.

"You know, Alec, if you ever do get out of here, you must ask her how she liked that little tumble in the air she had with the wall," Lydia taunted, a smile on her face, triumphant as Alec couldn’t mask the shock and concern from his face.

"Stay the hell away from her," Alec snarled with venom, not hiding the anger and threatening fury in his voice. "You hear me? I can’t stand the SIGHT of you!"

Lydia’s eyes darkened, as poisonous and soulless as a snake’s. "I would refrain from such unpleasant words if I was you, considering what you’ve been through-and they’ve been kind as of yet, because of ME. I came here, wondering if you would reconsider my offer."

"Why would I ever sleep with you?" Alec asked with total disgust. "I would have to be stupid, deaf, mute, and on top of all of it, blind."

Lydia tried squirming out of Alec’s violent hold. "Why do you say these things to me? I am trying to help you! I am trying to save your life!"

Alec’s hand tightened on her neck. "I will never forget everything you and your little master have put me through-have put Max through.. In fact, let me make this simple for you, Lydia. I am completely and totally repulsed by you. I look at you, and I find it physically nauseating. . I. Don’t. Love. You. I don’t like you. And if you even stopped to realize it, you would see I don’t care if you suddenly drop out of the face of this earth."

Lydia tried jerking. "You aren’t in any position to threaten me, 494. I know all about Elizabeth Parker. Roswell, New Mexico. Didn’t get into Harvard, though smart cookie she is. December 12th, 1985-that is her birthdate. Her best friends are Maria De Luca, Michael Guerin, and Kyle Valenti. September 19th, 2002-that was the day that alien Max Evans saved her life."

Alec tried hiding the shock from his face, but failed.

Lydia’s grin widened. "Think I didn’t know? I know all about alien hybrids, 494. And I know every little detail about Elizabeth Parker’s life-up to the little freckle on her lower back. I’m sure you know that as well so there’s no point in telling you that, is there?" she asked, amused at his low, raging growl. Raising her eyebrow, she continued, "You don’t know, do you?"

"KNOW WHAT?!"

She laughed. His anger was such a turn on. "Our next target is Max Evans’ son. The Special Unit had informed us of their alien status ever since they captured Max Evans for laboratory purposes. It’s all a chain, 494. We’re all connected, to serve a common purpose. We kept strict vigilence upon Max Evans and Tess Harding, especially after finding out of their pregnancy-a little babe who is half-alien. Well, he’d be perfect for our new project, our new, fault-free class that shall reign on earth. A killing machine without a conscience. He’d kill with the snap of his fingers."

"He’s… he’s barely four months old," Alec whispered in defeat.

"And just imagine what I’d do to your little girlfriend," Lydia smiled toothily. "Think a joy ride in a high building will do the trick? Maybe scorpions in her room?"

Alec, with one swift move, his hands still on her neck, positioned her even higher from the floor, and then let her fall to the ground. "Never speak about her," Alec shouted passionately. "You don’t say her name, you don’t visit her, you don’t even look at her. Are we clear?"

Lydia grabbed at her neck, coughing. "Why don’t you understand, Alec?!" she shrieked, finally using his name. "Your blood is vengeful, sinful, dark. No leopard can change it’ spots. You have a part inside of you that is beautifully malevolent, that’s twisted, that’s just dying to come out. And because of your stupid human emotions, you fail to see what is there!"

She crawled across from him, studying him intently. "How badly do you want to keep your memories, 494? And how badly… do you wish to, protect Max Guevara and Elizabeth Parker? On one command I can make you forget all about them. They won’t even be a recollection. I’m sure that you don’t want to see Elizabeth or her friends-and yours, now that I think of it, pay for your mistakes. You’d live your entire life to guilt over it. "

"Why are you doing this?" Alec asked, turning away so she wouldn’t see the tears pricking at his eyes. He’d be damned if he showed how much she was getting to him.

"Because I can," Lydia shrugged.

"If you go anywhere near her…" Alec’s voice trailed, shaking his head. "I am willing to do anything to protect the people I love. You’ll disappear from the face of this earth."

"Clearly, you won’t do anything, 494," Lydia reminded him tauntingly, straightening her shirt as she stood up. "I’ll give you one more day to think about this rationally. You know what I want and what I’m willing to do to get you out of here if you oblige. Sweet dreams, 494."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It might all look a little confusing right now, but I will explain as we go along. Remember, have patience with me!

[RavenSprite]

AN: Hello, my beautiful, wonderful people that I want to give cyber hugs to. I'm back with this part, but please be patient for the other one, as college and real life is taking a heavy toll on me right now. I used some scenes of another story I had written, because it fits well here. I hope you enjoy.

And... a huge revelation in this one... and a pretty mean cliffhanger.

CHAPTER #7

Her eyes are homes of silent prayers, no other thought her mind admits.
~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Doug Shellow was the perfect citizen.

He was. An upstanding citizen that volunteered in hospitals and joined the active young political community society. He had a 3.9 GPA and was going to attend Harvard come fall, but was not big-headed about it. His family was like the Cleavers, and he didn’t smoke and he didn’t drink-being on the football team at Roswell East, he liked being in tip top shape. He adored his mother and probably went to visit old people in the hospital just because he freaking felt like it. He had a very nice smile and thought everything was more or less funny, because Isabel opened her mouth and he’d just crack a smile. Quiet, observant, but really, very… nice. Very polite. He’d make small talk with the waitress, left a big tip on her wake, and they couldn’t take two steps without someone greeting him-whether it was a co-worker at newspaper he contributed at, or old people that thought he was the greatest thing ever.

Doug Shellow had never even gotten a ticket in his entire eighteen years of existence.

And it was grating Isabel Evans’s every nerve. He didn’t have one quirk. All through out dinner he’d eaten in a perfect manner. He didn’t make noise with his forks, he wiped himself with a napkin after every bite-even when he wasn’t dirty-and he’d cut the meat in such small pieces she had to wonder if he lacked some teeth. The conversation, in itself went smoothly. He was also a bit interested in medicine, but she found herself bored with it-aspiring to be a pre-med student Isabel Evans, bored in a conversation that entailed what involved her future - all Isabel wanted to do was set her hair on fire.

Yes, Doug Shellow had won the science fair four years in a row, and since one of his projects involved some recent studies by Laura Holton, he was awarded by meeting her. Isabel had not been made a fool, for, having listening to Liz long enough, knew who Laura Holton was. Doug Shellow had also met the President, after having written an eloquent, heart-felt speech on the hardships of taxes. He was also, apparently, bloody brilliant-his IQ that of a genius.

More importantly? Doug Shellow seemed very, very interested in Isabel. He’d ask a lot of questions. He’d smile at her timidly, and stare openly and in awe when he thought she wasn’t noticing. He’d tried holding her hand at the movie and was now trying to get something out of her.

Maria’s voice came bubbling into her mind, and so Isabel was trying her darn best to appear easy going and charming. She would have preferred, however, lying in her bed with her pint of ice cream and her dabs of chocolate and becoming an Oompa Loompa instead of having to endure this date that seemed to drag on longer then it should.

“I would have continued reading it,” Doug Shellow was saying, speaking of The Da Vinci Code, “but a lot of things just seemed a bit wonky to me.”

Isabel choked on the glass she’d just brought to her mouth. Wonky?? What nineteen year old said wonky?

“Really? I fount it quite interesting,” Isabel answered with her best muttered smile, trying to cancel out his godawful ‘wonky’ with her very British ‘quite.’ This was a bad idea. She was supposed to be celebrating her graduation by watching movies, maybe with Liz and Kyle, having dinner and smirking at Michael and Maria, helping Max take care of Zan, going to the mall, not by being forced to a blind date.

Doug Shellow continued giving out his reasons as to why the book was ‘wonky’ and all Isabel could recite in her mind, as a mantra, was Date from hell, date from hell, date from hell, date from…

“Isabel?”

“Yeah?”

Doug Shellow seemed to notice she wasn’t paying attention, but he smiled kindly anyway. “I was just telling you about a mission that some of my friends were going to in Central America. We’re spending out time their in a medical brigade for our summer.”

That, Isabel had to admit, impressed her. Kids went to beaches, had threesomes, got drunk silly, passed out on the open sea-they did not go on religious missions to save ill children in third world countries. He was great. Doug Shellow as goddamn perfect. Why did this annoy her? Couldn’t he, like, hate puppies or something?

“Do you like dogs?” Isabel asked out of the blue. She could tell he was mildly shocked by the out-of-the-topic question, but smiled at her-again-anyway.

“Love them. Trained a German Shepard a few months ago. I needed more credits and so I helped at an Abandoned Dog Center…”

Date from hell. Date. From Hell.

“So what are your interests?” he asked, taking a time out from talking of his perfectness, his missions, and his puppy-lovin’.

Ways of manifesting my excruciating pain, she thought in her mind.

“Um… shopping,” she answered feebly. “I love fashion a lot. I recently took up reading, I want to go to med school. And…” her voice trailed, a genuine smile momentarily gracing her lips, “computers. I like computers and guitars.”

He seemed surprised. After all, Isabel Evans was a gorgeous girl-especially with her knee length white sundress, her perfect golden hair-turned-wavy, her faint blush and immaculate make up. A natural, almost cruel beauty, Doug Shellow had reckoned, a girl he’d like to bring to the folks, or have her accompany them to mass-Doug Shellow and his family went to mass every Sunday, did not particularly seem that kind of girl.

“You like them? I never would have guessed,” Doug Shellow commented.

“I had a... friend that loved computers. And as for music... just love listening to it,” she piped with a bigger smile.

He smiled politely. “That’s nice.”

She tried not narrowing her eyes. She would have preferred an eye roll out of him-but Isabel would think a perfect, nice young man as Doug Shellow never rolled his eyes, or cursed, or ever got angry. No, he rescued puppies and accompanied the elderly. What next, did he bleed divine blood?

Will you SHUT UP?! He’s a nice guy who doesn’t deserve you pouring out your bitter misery unto him! Isabel scolded herself, attacking her meat with the knife as if it were murderous, Doug Shellow staring at her mildly scared at the view.

She dropped the knife as it clattered near her plate. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

“You seem to be doing that a lot. It’s like you’re not… here,” he explained feebly.

“Oh, no! I am. I’m really sorry, Doug. I’ve just had a lot on my mind right now.”

“I understand,” Doug empathized, smiling at her again.

I don’t want you to! Isabel thought, a whiny scream in her head. She wanted him to cut the date short, tell her he’d call her but never doing so because he was too busy running for the hills away from the psychotic date their mutual soon-to-be-dead friend Maria had ever had the indecency of setting them up in.

She stared into his coffee brown eyes-Doug Shellow was a good-looking man, and she’d be damned if he didn’t have nice, chocolate-y brown eyes. “You do?”

“Maria told me bits and pieces,” Doug confessed. “I’m nursing of a broken heart as well.”

Isabel tried not to snort. Nursing? Grimacing at her flat-out bitchiness, she tried putting a sympathetic arm on top of his. “I’m sorry. Guess it wasn’t one of Maria’s best ideas, huh?”

“No, it was,” he quickly corrected her. “I… I like you, Izzy.”

Isabel had told Doug Shellow multiple times to call her Izzy because only Max and Michael could call her that-Doug Shellow also didn’t really seem to listen to that. “You’re not so bad yourself, Douglas,” Isabel quipped, biting into her bread to keep from cursing Maria profanely in a thousand different languages. She sighed as he parked his car-a very nice, very stable, very mature white Volvo-in front of the Evans household.

“Can we do this again?” he asked timidly.

Isabel bit her lip, turning to face him and for once, saying something truthful throughout the whole evening. “Listen, Doug-maybe Maria didn’t mention this, but not only am I also… ahem… nursing from a broken heart, but I’m just not ready to date right now. Or move on. I am not sure I want to.”

“Maybe as friends then? You’re a swell girl, Isabel Evans.”

He was staring at her so sweetly-and because he had called her Isabel, she didn’t snicker at the ‘swell’ comment. But, seriously, did he live in the 50s?

“You’re a really neat guy, too, Doug,” she answered back in his old vernacular. This made her giggle-she didn’t remember the last time she’d said neat. He chuckled with her as he opened the door for her, both walking up to the door.

He stuffed his hands in his pocket and smiled as he looked down, obviously embarrassed at her outburst. In a lot of ways, Doug reminded her of an early, fumbling nervous Alex.

“You want to know the truth, Isabel?”

She frowned curiously. “Yes?” she asked. She reckoned a man as perfect and polite and prim as Doug Shellow would prefer the ‘yes’ to the ‘yeah.’

“I asked Maria to fix us up,” he admitted.

“Really? Why?” she blurted out before she could stop it.

He laughed. “Because I had always seen you around,” he answered simply. “I wanted to get to know you. You’re beautiful and smart...” Doug answered, shrugging.

“I’m really sorry, Doug.”

Doug nodded understandingly. “I’m guessing he’s the reason you like guitars?”

She grinned. “Yeah. And, see, I still miss him. I guess, at this point, I don’t want to be in a relationship. But I just can’t explain it. I just can’t.”

“I hope you find what you are looking for, Isabel Evans,” he commented softly, his first real, private grin all day.

“You’re a really nice fellow, Doug Shellow,” she answered, both of them falling into fits of laughter at her unintentional rhyme.

“Yes. I do hope we can be friends, Isabel,” he answered.

“Definitely,” Isabel nodded.

He waved politely as he made his way into the car.

Doug Shellow was a very nice, very sweet, very understanding man. The kind of man she could see herself having the white picket fence, the kind of man her parents would absolutely adore, the kind of man that would never make her cry, which was all she seemed to be doing for the past two years.

Isabel sat on the porch, smiling softly as she listened and was comforted by Zan and his familiar wailing, and Max’s quiet murmurings of fatherly love.

At least one of us is happy.

Her tough-as-nails, bitch extraordinaire had made everyone believe that nothing could ever, ever hurt her.

And hurting seemed to be all she ever did.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Man... I cannot believe it’s over.”

Maria’s voice was filled with awe, sitting next to Liz and across from Kyle at the booth of the Crashdown. They had agreed to meet up after closing for their last ritual. The poignant nostalgy was not lost on any of them.

“It feels like the end of an era,” Kyle agreed sadly, staring at the table.

When she was young, all Liz wanted to do was become an adult. Be a microbiologist, have her own place, make her own decisions, live life the way she wanted to. To be able to do all the things she can’t do when she was a child. She had wanted to grow up. And now... now that she had, and such a huge part of her life was closing, all she wanted to do was hold on to all her memories, the memories she hadn’t really treasured. She had dreamed of this day for a long time, couldn’t believe she had still been chosen valedictorian, couldn’t believe that she had opportunities left and right, had good friends by her side despite the heartbreak she was going through.

And now that the time had come, all Liz wanted was for time to freeze for a few seconds, to be able to commit every feeling and visual of that moment. Kyle’s handsome smile, Maria’s bubbly laughter, Michael grunting and complaining by the kitchen, to be able to take a deep breath and remember the moments. She had known and loved Kyle and Maria since she was a little girl, had grown to love Michael, Isabel, even Max, still, as they joined in along the way, as they were tied together by a secret so mysterious and, truly wonderful... they had gone through everything, and had come out live… the tears and the laughter, the happiness and the sorrow, the good and the bad… she had faced many tests both in the academic and in life. And letting go of it was proving harder.

“Never thought I would feel this sad,” Liz chimed in, looking at the menu, though she knew it by heart. She was still flirting on what she would order. Liz wrinkled her nose. “I think these fries need more ketchup.”

Maria nodded her agreement. “Hey, Michael?”

A bark was his reply. “What?”

Maria’s eyes narrowed at his tone. “We need more ketchup!”

“Fine.”

Maria glared, but he didn’t seem to notice, as he moved back to the counter. She turned to Liz and Kyle. “He is so rude.”

Liz chewed her lip. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Maybe he’s as moved about graduation as we are.”

“How do you do it?” Maria wailed.

Liz looked at Kyle, who shrugged helplessly, before turning back to Maria. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re always so lucky with guys! I mean, as much as I say Kyle’s a dud, he really was a prince while dating you, taking your crap about Max and all.”

“Thanks, Maria,” Kyle glared bitterly.

“Yeah, thanks,” Liz echoed, the same bitterness tasting like copper on her mouth.

Maria was oblivious, however. “And then it was Max, who was, a white knight in all the glorious splendor,”

“Before, or after he impregnated Tess with an alien child after Liz saved his future ass?” Kyle asked sarcastically.

Maria chose to ignore this, still having an Achilles Heel for Max. “And the last one, Alec. You actually managed to find him. The bad boy with an actual soft side that doesn’t lose his edge when he falls in love. They were always so romantic. Always had something planned for you. Always gave you stuff, sometimes just out of the blue.”

“I still don’t follow,” Kyle answered. “Quite frankly? I’m confused.”

“Well, back in the old days it Max, Liz, Michael and I. So we’d always double date and the difference was painfully clear,” Maria explained, getting more upset and agitated as she continued.

“When you see Alec and Liz for example, you almost feel like you know what it’s like to be desperately in love. No matter what has happens, they still love each other. He still looks at her as if she were his whole world. And Michael is still stuck in the same place. He’s still the every rude sixteen-year old who refused to grow up.”

“You want commitment, you want something more serious?”

“I want the Liz-and-Max, Liz-and-Alec, even Liz-and-Kyle love story, I guess. And Michael and I, of course we love one another but I’ve had way too many pizza-and-movie dates to last me a life time. I mean, we were playing Braveheart last Wednesday. For like the thousandth time,” Maria emphasized with disgusting sadness.

Liz grimaced at the tone. “I see how that would make you... frustrated?”

“And he forgot to pick me up today.”

Kyle bit her lip. “Okay, that was bad,” he conceded. “But I’m sure he just… totally had something else to do. An emergency or something.”

Maria snorted. “Would you forget?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “So basically… Liz-and-whoever. Romeo and Juliet. Antony and Cleopatra.”

Maria nodded in affirmation. “Yep. I do, yes.”

“So… it doesn’t matter that one couple kills themselves, another has a Pharaoh who is a ho, and the last girl has not ended up with any of the above? That she has to wait painfully while the man that she loves is fighting for his life and his kind in a bloody war?” Liz asked with anger. “All of these stories are tragedies, Maria. You know what? I get that you want the romance. You deserve it. But it’s time you get your head out of your ass, Maria.”

Maria’s mouth was wide open, shocked. And Kyle’s, too, for that matter.

“Yeah. I said it. And do you want to know why? Because these love stories? What do they mean? They mean nothing if it doesn’t end the way it should. Romeo and Juliet died. Cleopatra lost her love. And Alec didn’t let me stay with him. Maybe you think it’s romantic, that we were so young and were so idealistic for so long. But I would trade every bike ride Alec and I ever had if I could have made us work. Michael might not be the boyfriend that acts or changes to what you want but he loves you with all that he has even if he doesn’t always know how to show you or tell you. Michael has never cheated on you. Michael has never not been there when you needed him. And you can take him for who he is or stop bitching all the time that he hasn’t bled for you yet. Love isn’t enough sometimes, Maria. And flowers and notions don’t mean crap in the endgame,” Liz finished, standing abruptly and leaving.

Maria watched her with wide eyes. And Kyle could only smirk.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I love you,” she blurted out. “For so many reasons. Because you make me happy and you make me smile… and when I close my eyes I still literally see you. You’re all around me, every day. And it makes my heart stop, Alec. And I never want to lose this feeling, this feeling of seeing paradise with your eyes closed, this feeling that makes me want to burst with happiness. It’s what you give me. And you don’t have to say it back because frankly I just wanted you to know.”

“I thought that I lived in nothing, that I was nothing-I breathed in this nothing for all of my life, Liz. I thought happiness was just an illusion, depending on which angle you saw it from. I prayed for a sign, for anything to prove me wrong, for something that made me think that I wasn’t nothing, that I wasn’t this… monster. And I found you. And it... it just is. Every time you see me, really see me, I don’t feel like a freak. I feel like I’m ten feet tall and able to conquer the world. I asked for a reason and you’re it for me, Liz. You’re the reason. You’re my sign. And I’ll be damned if I don’t fucking love you with all that I have.”

She closed her eyes, painful, thick tears scalding past her cheeks as she was onslaught with the memories that at one time were beautiful, but now only seemed poisoned with pain.

“How can I forget you? How I am supposed to go on living my life without you in it, Alec?” she asked, the room so silent, so still that her words echoed in the walls and bounced back to her ears. “I don’t want to feel anything anymore. I don’t want to look back. That’s my mistake. I always look back.”

“All I wanted was to love you,” she said to the room, her voice like that of a lost little girl’s. Her eyes blazed with fervor and passion. She felt it. For a minute she felt it again, the love that gave her heart life once more. Her eyes had been filled with bitterness, anger, and coldness. But now she couldn’t hide the pain that ghostly haunted her onyx orbs.

Every breath of her, every beat of her was begging to let the tears fall, begging to let herself scream as she wanted to. But she wouldn’t. Even if she was safe in haven of her four-walled room, there were ghosts haunting her. Every ghost echoing her every heartbreak, her every mistake, her every regret.

She felt so much frustration, so much anger. She felt like throwing things and making something hurt. Hurt more than she was hurting now but it didn’t seem possible.

Liz. A whimper brought her out of her thoughts. Liz frowned, gasping as she saw a figure huddled in the corner of her room. She hesitantly moved towards it, her hand outstretched, ready to strike if necessary. Alec had taught her defense well enough.

She stumbled back, unable to take a breath. She felt her entire body crushing itself against the weight of her eyes, felt herself swaying as she staggered to remain standing, her hands shakily crutched at the edge of her bed as she tried finding her voice to speak.

The lanky body... the unmistakeable bright blue eyes...

She feared she couldn’t, stood there staring until finally, a fazed whisper breathed her back to life.

“Alex?”

[RavenSprite]

Okay, okay, I'm sure you're probably all tired to death of the sorries and excuses for not posting sooner. But, as I've stated on other places or have maybe stated before, not only am I going through personal problems, but college and real life is right now my big focus, and I haven't been able to write or update much on any story and for that, I apologize enormously. I hate leaving you hanging like that, but add writer's block to some of it and you get nasty results.

What follows, from the point of the last chapter (Yes, Alex is alive!), is confusing. Far-fetched, confusing, and Roswell to the end. It may not be as believable as other venues I might have taken, but I really wanted to write this. And right now I warn that Alex is not the same as he was before. What happened to him changes anyone. And all I'm saying is... what happened to Alex is similar to what is happening to Alec.

Thank you, for your reviews and for not giving up on this story. Those who have given up, I honestly cannot blame you. I will finish this, however. I am just not sure how long it will take me. I am really, really sorry. My biggest of apologies to those I left hanging.

CHAPTER #8~Taken~

So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.
~Robert Frost




Alec was aware of the blinding loss that intoxicated his body, running around through his blood and crushing him at the seams. There wasn’t much in his mind, he was numb from pain, numb from everything except the void that entrapped him. Feelings and emotions rushed through him in a hazy, dizzying motion he couldn’t pull loose.

He grimaced, as patches of skin, swollen with purplish reds on the surface coiled around him. Long ago he had lost hope that Maxie would find him. How could she, when even he didn’t know where he was?

It was never supposed to be like this.

I am fortune’s fool.

He hated the role of martyr, hated that they knew all he felt, all he wanted, all he loved, and used it against him until they broke him.

He knew he should have never fallen in love, should have never gotten close enough to actually care about people, form bonds with them. Alec should have continued with his superficial ideas, with his safe existence and belligerent ambition. Didn’t love cloud your judgment, impeding you to frailty?

Liz..

He almost smiled, but as soon as it came, it was gone. He is once again stripped to his very bare essence, torn and scratched at all his wounded edges until he is left with his damaged core. He can’t leave it. It’s all he knows.

Back when he ws the smart aleck that Maxie couldn’t stand, he’d always thought that if he died, he wanted at least one person to feel as if they’d lost something, to bleed a fucking little! Now... he felt like going as quietly as possible. Hoping Liz forgot him, hoping Maxie didn’t do something stupid to assure his safety, everyone else just live there lives as if he’d never been there.

He belonged to Manticore. He belonged to his creators. He wasn’t real. His edges of tormen, his love for Liz, his sharp conviction, nuances of humanity, they just didn’t feel real anymore.

He tried being a good man... . “And I lose,” he whispered in agony.

Tried being the perfect soldier... “I lose anyway...”

He hung his head, eyes burning. “I am sick of losing.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alex finally staggered to his feet, facing Liz.

“Liz,” he groaned out, finally standing erect.

Her eyes watered. She slowly, almost fearfully stuck her hand out to touch his face. The second her hand came in contact with his cheeks, tears poured out of her face, though he stayed still.

“You’re real,” she whispered, fazed. “You’re real?”

He bowed his head, hiding the pain he wasn’t ready to show.

She had heard of life-altering moments. They were thunderous as lightning, and almost religious, in the fear that you could shatter them. She’d believed herself to have a few in the short span of her eighteen years.

But - and this was becoming a self-fulfilled prophecy - Liz Parker was of course mistaken.

Because certainly, this was life-altering. The feeling of her knees buckling from shocked emotion and bursting relief. The unintelligible thoughts that kept jumbling themselves through the corners of her mind and her tongue that seemed frozen in place, unable to utter a sound. She rested in the silence for a moment, whispered inside the small gap that she was not becoming crazy, tried regaining any sense of movement from any limb in her body, but rest assured she did not for the following ten minutes.

She was scared and ecstatic and disbelieving, and other emotions she could not name, were all tremoring through her body.

“You... you can’t be Alex,” was the first thing that escaped her lips, entering into denial, the safe haven that had kept her from losing her mind for so long. Denial that Alex had killed himself, which had led her to the truth. And now denial that he was alive, as painful as it was to her.

Alex sighed, a little annoyed. “It’s me.”

His voice was so different, like an old instrument that hadn’t been used for the longest of times, old and weary, tired and... broken.

“When we were in the sixth grade...” he began, chuckling a deep, throaty laugh that had no similarity to his usual goofy antics, “we wrote letters in small time capsules. About our futures, our dreams, our hopes. I gave mine to you, you gave me yours. And we were to give it to each other on graduation day. That day... did not come for me. But I still have that letter, and I know all it says by heart. I also know your favorite color is blue and your favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla, boring as Maria and I claimed it was. Your first kiss was with Kyle Valenti under a tree where you later carved both your initials. You’ve known Maria since you were two and bonded over a dead bird, our favorite poet is Robert Frost and for the past year, Liz... I was in hell.”

She bolted. “Alex,” she choked, running to hug him, locking her arms around him as she let a sob of relief fill her. She was only slightly disheartened when she didn’t feel him hug her in return.

“I thought I’d never see any of you again,” he said in a sad cry, a low growl in that voice that just... didn’t belong to him. It was too cynical, too full of angry wisdom and pained heart.

“What happened?” Liz asked incredulously, hands still clutching at him as she feared that he was going to evaporate into thin air at any minute.

Alex sat slowly, elbows resting on his knees.

“Alex... where were you?” she urged once she realized he was staying silent.

Alex slowly raised his hand, his index finger pointing to the sky, shaky but certain. An action she herself had done to him, in a jail cell, on a hot night that seemed so long ago.

Liz shook her head. “But... how...”

“I was taken, and they used the trip to ’Sweden’ as an excuse. That was... that was really when everything became... different. I felt the shift. Liz, that guy that went to Santa Fe, the guy that came back, the one that... that people claimed dead? That wasn’t me. Someone had taken over my body. What I lived that time... all I wanted was to cut my heart dry so there wasn’t anything left there to bleed. I wanted to cease any humanity that was left inside of me because where I was, what I went through was not human.”

Liz gulped, trying to digest the information. “Taken... like Larek and Brody?”

Alex asserted his head in confirmation. “Only the time they used my body was more prolonged, and you add that with Tess’s mental damage... Nicholas was a goner.”

Liz’s eyes widened. “That was Nicholas?”

“All along I was... I can’t even... they knew all the buttons to push, and if I didn’t do this, they said Isabel... Liz there’s something you should know.”

Liz grabbed at both of her best friend’s hands. “Alex, you can tell me anything.”

“Good, good.” He took a deep breath. “Liz... I didn’t come here alone.”

He led her quietly to the balcony, hesitant steps that left her breathless with wonder.

She didn’t need to see the face, to know who was cowering on her knees in the corner. Liz would recognize the blonde curls anywhere.

“You brought your murderer?” Liz asked in a cold voice, memories resurfacing and pouring into her skin. It was too surreal, too out of her reach, the most far-fetched of situations. And the Liz Parker that loved her logical, scientific reasons could not fathom this as truth.

Alex gave her a look that was almost cold. “Trust me. Tess has paid her dues.”

Liz regarded the young blonde silently, wondering why words hadn’t escaped her. The Tess he knew would have gotten on her feet and gloated to the world she was fine and dandy, gloated to Liz that she had won her best friend over.

This Tess, however, sat shivering on the floor, eyes trained to the ground. She wasn’t even blinking.

Alex paused. “She might have thought she killed me. But she saved my life, Liz, in Antar. She was branded for treason. She was violated, body and mind, to the point where everything good and bad seemed to vanish from within her.”

“Tabula Rasa,” Liz murmured, too focused on Tess’s shivering body to dissect Alex’s sympathetic gaze to the blonde.

“She doesn’t remember anything? Not even that she had a son?” Liz asked cautiously, approaching the curly blonde who was still on the corner of the floor, eyes vacant and expressionless, reminding her of the dolls that she used to adore. Tess’s eyes had showed no emotion. But even when they had been empty and unfeeling, they had been beautiful. Now they were lifeless, which was different, and cruel, to the pale blue eyes she had known.

Alex shook his head. “She remembers nothing. Doesn’t remember any of you - except Kyle, sometimes. She doesn’t even know how to feel.”

The scientist in Liz let that piece of information ignite her curiosity. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“She doesn’t know what friendship, trust, or love is... much like the Tess we used to know,” Alex clarified. “But, and in the difference lies here, she doesn’t know what hate, revenge, or dishonesty is, either. She’s never felt them, not the way she is now, wouldn’t know how to explain them. Basically she’s emotionless until we teach her. At least...” he paused. “At least until Max tries to heal her. There’s so much damage...”

“Khivar?” Liz guessed softly, an explosion of guilt and sympathy coursing through her. She sent Tess back... true, she thought Tess had killed Alex. But did that explain Liz’s calculating coldness, separating a mother, however evil, from her child?

“I’m not sure why he didn’t kill her on the spot,” Alex continued, leaving no doubt that it was indeed Khivar. “He was ruthless. Everyone around him was either a useful pawn or an inconsequential bug that needed to be squashed. Antar was a snake pit, under Khivar’s ruling. There were only slaves and masters. When Tess showed up without the remaining Royal Three... he was angry beyond reason. But he had had a certain affection for Ava, in the past life. He felt it the minute he saw Tess again. Tess, she was smart and quick to jump on this. She gained his affection back easily, and he spared her life.”

“She didn’t see me until she was well back in the castle, her arm around Khivar’s. I don’t know if it was her conscience or whatever small tin heart she had, she let me escape. They caught her and... and did unspeakable, horrible things to her. I knew I owed it to Tess to save her as she saved me.”

“And you... you found a way back home?” Liz asked uncertainly. Something was missing. Something Alex wasn’t telling her.

“Max has faithful followers,” Alex responded simply. “His rebellion, while stifled by Khivar’s oppression, lives on. They die every day for a cause that Max himself is not capable to fight for,” he added dryly. Liz had never heard so much venom in his voice, especially not directed towards Max. “Anyway,” he continued, “Max’s people would have done anything for his wife, treacherous as she was.”

An uneasy feeling settled into her stomach. His voice was so monotonous, one-key, and unfeeling. What had they done to him? How much did they harden him, to the point where speaking of terrible past experience left him without any sort of sentiment?

“I was a prisoner, and she was his servant. They used our bodies, our minds in ways that only Tess and I can ever know. Her power cannot compare to the manipulation that was used upon us. They wanted information, about all of you. And... God, I tried so hard not to let them see what was inside of me, all I knew. But they had ways...” his eyes were trained to the ground as he passed a hand through his black hair. “Tess betrayed Khivar so I could have a chance, so I could get back to you and justice could be served. I’ll protect her, Liz, with all I’ve got. I saw what her life was like, saw glimpses of her with Nasedo, saw what she felt for Kyle... she’s human, and for what felt like the longest of times, we were all each other had.”

“She killed you!” Liz protested.

Alex sighed. “What we went through goes beyond death, we formed a bond, Liz, we had to trust each other to get out of there. It’s no longer a planet, it’s a war path, it is nothing if not destruction, and fear, and submission. I was a solder, a mercenary, I was a scapegoat, an inconvenience, but more importantly, I was reminded that I was nothing. They trained me to feel nothing and be nothing if not what I could do to serve the Great Khivar.”

Like Manticore, Liz thought miserably, thinking of Alec.

“Trained to kill,” Liz assumed.

Alex stiffened considerably. “Yes.”

“Alex...”

“Do you think I look at myself and I’m proud?” he cried out angrily, as Liz stumbled back. He cut himself off quickly when a whimper from Tess caught his attention. He kneeled down and took her hand. “Hey, I’m sorry,” he said with soft gentility. “I didn’t mean it.”

Liz couldn’t compute the scene that was happening in front of her. Tess so vividly reminded her of the mental state Leanna had been in... even more, she could not understand how Alex could not only defend Tess, but protect her with such fierceness.

A thought snapped her out of her reverie. “I dreamed of you,” she spoke suddenly, without warning. “You were begging me to save you. I was after your death, and I thought they were nightmares but you were alive, weren’t you? Trying to get to me?”

“It then became hopeless, or so I thought,” Alex said mournfully. “I had no proof you could receive my messages through the dreams. I tried reaching Isabel, too, willing her to forget me and move on, assure her of my death in case there was no way I could get back. I knew if there was someone who would listen, if there was someone who could see behind the blatant cover-up... it was you.”

“Alex, they have to know you’re alive. They have to know Tess is alive. We’ve been lost without you,” Liz said, her lip quivering (damn her emotion!).

He didn’t answer, Alex crossed his arms and looked outside the window.

She bit her lip. “Alex? Did something else happen? How... is anyone coming for you?”

“There is no one to come for us,” Alex answered mysteriously.

“What does that mean?” Liz finally asked in a loud, impatient voice. “How can you even say that? You betray Khivar and he just lets you leave without trying to get you back?”

“Khivar is no longer a problem,” Alex answered simply, closing his eyes, shaky hands covering his face.

That means...

Alex killed him.

Tears watered in Liz’s eyes. “Oh, Alex...”

“I don’t even know what day it is,” he said softly, looking outside of Roswell, a place that seemed foreign to him, the colors were abstract and different from Antar’s, the thickness of the air making his chest swell, as he had grown accustomed to the low gravity.

He wasn’t the same anymore.

Who was he?

[RavenSprite]

CHAPTER #9

I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body,
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

~Pablo Neruda, Love Sonnet XVII


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She could hear the yelling all the way from outside of her house-little Liz Parker was sure the neighbors could hear as well. These neighbors would tell their acquaintances, and they would tell their neighbor’s friends, and soon, everyone would know what she had witnessed that day-the nice Sheriff that had located to their county was always fighting with his wife, and today, it seemed, a little boy’s name was mentioned plenty.

She wished she could go and play with the other girls and boys that had made adventures out of being mindlessly bored during their summer-it was, after all, a boring place, and there wasn’t much to entertain them with. She had no friends, and at school she didn’t talk to anyone much. Maria would always tell her that Amy - this was her mother, and Liz thought it was really cool that Maria sometimes called her Amy - would take her on road trips, spinning the globe and pointing her finger. Wherever it landed, they went. Liz longed for Maria’s exciting life.

She stopped moving on the swings when she noticed a boy with bright blue-gray eyes and dirty, chestnut brown hair walking towards her.

“Hi,” he greeted uncertainly, waving hesitantly, standing there awkward. But as soon as he did, he gave her a brave smile that showed a boyish smile and his chipped front tooth. She grinned just as widely, and he wondered if there was a prettier girl then the one he was facing. He decided then and there he had to marry one just like her. “Hi!”

“How old are you?” he asked curiously.

She shrugged away the embarrassment. She had never talked to a boy alone before. Liz wrinkled her nose - she was not supposed to like boys, or so her only friend, Maria De Luca had told her firmly. She had heard Amy De Luca once express that men were the root of all evil, and women only ended up screwed. Liz wasn’t sure what screwed meant but it hadn’t sounded very good. But this boy reminded her of the angel painting that hung in her room, and inspired her confidence. “Eight.”

“Still a baby,” he answered, making a face.

This seemed to anger her, as she shoved him. He grinned at her, because, it was funny to see a very pretty girl that was twice as smaller then he was, with an very pretty dress and a red bow on her dark, chocolate hair shoving him and small hands on her hips. “How old are you?”

He straightened his stance, clearly pompous. “I’m nine,” he declared with pride.

“Oh,” she answered with dissapointment, sitting back down on the swing as he made his way behind her. A whole year older then her. A year was a lot in Liz’s opinion. “I am a baby.”

“Nah, you’re a bonnie.”

She wrinkled her nose. “What is a bonnie?” she asked properly, grabbing at her bow to tie it tighter around her hair. She blew a strand tickling her forehead with frustration and turned to him as she waited for his answer.

“Kid, I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he promised, swinging her higher as she squealed with glee.

She then stopped giggling, turning to him accusingly. “You just said I wasn’t a baby!” she whined at him.

He grinned again. “You’re not a baby, but you’re still a kid. I’ll tell you when you’re an adult - like me.”

She was going to ask him again - she was excited there was someone she could talk to, when a sound of broken glasses brought back their attention. Liz strained her ear, noticed that the boy cringed as he heard the loud, vicious voices.

“Do they always yell like that?” she asked with slight wonder.

“Sometimes a lot worse,” was Kyle’s heartbroken answer. “And Mom always threatens my dad with leaving.”

She nodded, even at his eight years, intuitive. He stopped swinging her and Liz, in turn, ran to stand in front of him. “I have a lot of games and movies at my house. My dad owns a restaurant so we can have all the food we want! Do you like fries and milkshakes?” she asked, determined to make him feel better.

His grin was wider. “I love it.”

She offered his hand. “So do you wanna come?”

He nodded eagerly, and then looked back at his house. There was still shouting, still pointing fingers with blame, never once asking where he was. Firmly she stood up, taking his hand.

Clearly, it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

He later slapped his forehead. “I didn’t ask you your name!”

She giggled softly. “Elizabeth Claudia Parker,” she boasted proudly. “Everyone calls me Lizzie and my dad calls me Princess. You can call me Liz,” she finished with determination.

He shook his head, moving his hand to ruffle her long hair, strands loosening at the end of the bright red ribbon. “Nope. I’m gonna call you Bonnie.”

She sighed with frustration. She didn’t even know if it was a good or a bad thing. “But I don’t know what it means,” she reminded him in reproach.

“It’s nothing bad there, Bonnie.”

She glared at him. Were all boys this frustrating and intent on teasing? Realizing if she made him upset she wouldn’t get him to go to her house to eat cheese fries and play games, she once again re-tied her bow and turned her wondrous amber brown eyes to his. “What’s your name?”

“Kyle James Valenti,” he answered proudly, his chest once again upright with pride as they made their way to his house. “You can call me Kyle.”

“I like the name Kyle. Hi Kyle,” Liz answered, giggling.

He grinned. “Hi, Bonnie.”
~*~*~*~

Ten-year old Kyle snickered, moving from one branch to the other as he climbed to the highest part of the tree. “Alex has a crush on Isabel,” he said in sing song, making sure to evade Maria’s small fist. It was a common truth that Maria hated Isabel Evans. If anyone asked Kyle, the reason was due to Maria’s latest tragic hair cut. Isabel Evans had the prettiest hair in their school, long, and wavy, shiny and golden.

“Isabel’s nothing special,” Maria grumbled, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out at Kyle, ignoring the reddened cheeks that Alex was sporting.

“Of course she’s special! She’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” Alex declared. “And one day, I’m gonna kiss her.”

Maria looked at him in disbelief - kissing? - and Kyle snickered again, stopping abruptly when Liz gave him a reproachful look.

“She’s not special! She’s mean. She made Lewis Moon cry today,” Maria reminded them.

“Who doesn’t make Lewis Moon cry?” Kyle asked in retort.

“There is something special in everyone,” Liz, the pacifist, assured Alex as she saw him glare at Maria’s comment.

Alex’s scowl deepened. “By saying everyone’s special, Lizzie, it means nobody’s really special. And Isabel is.”
Liz couldn’t help smiling at the memory, her hands tracing the carved lines of the oak tree that she was currently standing in front of.

L.P. + K.V.

Was it really so long ago?


Was it really that long ago she and Kyle had met, she and Alex had met?

All of those moments... once upon a time, long before the Pod Squad had entered their lives, it had been the four of them. Kyle, Liz, Alex, and Maria. Kyle had been Liz’s first kiss. Weirdly enough, Alex had been Maria’s. They had seen the ugly and the bad in each other.

She had been amazed by how Alex had the uncanny ability always - always - seemed to have the right words. A small slither of comfort, the smallest, even, seemed big because it came from Alex. He would aways envelop you in his tall, lanky frame and there was no bigger comfort, no safer haven.

Now... now she and Maria hadn’t spoken for the longest of times, Alex was presumed dead and every fragment of their friendship that had made it special was now just broken.

An impatient statement broke her train of thoughts. “Is he coming or what?”

“Since I called so late he’s probably getting dressed, ” Liz answered coolly, already used to Alex’s new attitude. She would remember to chalk up disdainful impatience to the growing list.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I just want to get this over with. People are going to look at me, I’m going to have to prove myself, and facing everything I left behind - it’s hard.”

Liz’s eyes softened. “I understand, Alex. Just wait till Kyle gets here, okay? He’ll try talking to Tess and you... you have to go to Isabel.”

“It’s not going to be a fairy tall reunion, Liz. I’m not the same,” Alex declared.

Liz didn’t answer, and Alex concentrated on shuffling the dirt with the heel of his shoe. Uncomfortably, almost inaudibly he asked. “How has she been?”

Liz sighed. “A wreck. When we thought you were dead… I had never seen Isabel like that. She was dead without you, Alex.”

“I know the feeling,” was all he said, feeling a pang in his heart, familiar feelings that he needed to push away.

“Are you still in love with her?” Liz inquired.

Alex didn’t answer at first, just stared at the night sky, that was so different from Antar’s.

“Alex, are you still? Or is Tess...”

“No,” Alex said firmly. “It’s Isabel. It’s always been her. It’ll always be her. No one else. Ever.”

“Then why don’t you go after her and solve things?”

“I wish I could,” Alex muttered. “Listen to me, I love her too much to have her deal with me the way I am now. What I became, how I operated, what I did... I just... can’t tell her...”

Liz nodded dully. Hearing the approaching footsteps, she sighed with relief and walked towards Kyle, who was staring at Alex dumbfounded. “I didn’t believe it at first, I couldn’t but...” Kyle whistled. “Damn, Alex, you’re alive!”

“Congratulations on stating the obvious,” Alex said while clapping Kyle affectionately on the back. He sighed - Alex seemed to do that a lot now - and turned to his friend. “I don’t want to always repeat what I’ve told Liz. I’m guessing she put you up to speed?”

Kyle nodded his head, his eyes betraying his confident stance. “Tess is really... Tess is here?”

“Kyle, you need to be prepared,” Liz began, noticing the tension as he tightened his hand around her. “She’s not responsive. I just want you to know.”

“Okay. Don’t worry about me. Just... take me to her, okay?” he asked softly, dreading and anticipating all at once. Was it possible to feel so much?

“I’m gonna head over to the Evanses,” Alex answered, wordlessly turning around and walking in the dark night, hands in his pockets. Even the way he walked, with trained confidence and defensive, no longer seemed like Alex.

“What happened to him?” Kyle asked.

There wasn’t wind, and there was warmness sorrounding the park she and Alex had ended up in.

Liz hadn’t ever felt colder.

~*~*~*~*~

The soft, feathery pitter-patter of the thick raindrops that splattered on the window forced Isabel to open her left eye in frustration. Her hand, that was grabbing at the pillow in desperate hopes she would once again find the sleep she had been so deprived of, grabbed at her tousled, gold-curled hair. Turning over, she squinted her eyes as they both lazily drooped open.

She groaned as she saw the sky was still dressed in the dark dawn with navy blue tints, and the frustration seemed to seep further as she knew she would not go back to sleep.

The one night that Zan forgets to wail loudly to the wee hours of the morning, she can’t sleep.

Isabel didn’t even know why. She knew she felt a shift, something move within her. Intuition, alien ability, whatever it was, something was happening.

Not like she could go to sleep anyway. Hard as she tried, for the past long, agonizing months slumber could not find her, and before Isabel knew it, she was always lying on her back, both hands on her stomach, staring listlessly at the ceiling and discussing patterns with herself. She knew very well when her insomnia began to interfere with her life, she would just rather not bring it to anyone’s attention.

Everyone was already so worried for her as it was. Her mother continued cooking her favorite meals, frightened by Isabel’s lack of appetite. Max would, in his forever-agonizingly big brother act, continuously try to engage in conversation with her, try to force out of her feelings she had long ago dulled inside of her. She had made sure they were calloused and deep within, so she wouldn’t have to feel them anymore. She was so tired of feeling. So tired of her life, the vague emptiness it brought her.

Tired of her introspective ramblings (she wasn’t Max for goodness sake), she slung both legs over the edge of the bed, standing languidly. She ignored her cell phone that was blinking madly - she was already certain who was the recipient of what she was sure were over two messages. Doug Shellow really had a hard time figuring what a just-friends-nothing-else-ever kind of friendship entailed.

She moved forward, towards her desk, where she had proceeded to create a collage with Michael and Liz’s help. For as serious and level-headed as they could appear, she loved their artistic passion and talent. Pictures Liz had taken, sketches that Michael had drawn of all of them.

Isabel smiled faintly as her hands traced the familiar lines of Maria’s face smiling next to Michael, who was not smiling, but not discontent. Her index finger moved to the next picture, and her smile turned into a frown. It was of Liz and Alec. She didn’t understand how so much love could exist and have them still not be together. It seemed unnatural, which made her smile in a weird kind of way. The minute she had heard of Liz moving on from Isabel’s brother, she had found it hard to accept. But seeing her with Alec erased every doubt and resentment. The two were forces of nature that fit in almost every possible way.

Max and Zan, Isabel thought adoringly, a picture of Max sitting on the rocking chair, cradling Zan to his chest as the small boy slept peacefully. Kyle and Liz sitting on a swing. Isabel and Michael. Maria, Liz, and Alex. Max, Michael, and Isabel. Every picture was personal to her, but none so much as the last.

The last picture was always her favorite - Isabel remembered clearly when Liz took it. Isabel was sitting in the grass. Alex was sitting behind her, his long legs on either side of her, grabbing her waist, his face in the crane of her neck, the two smiling to the camera as if they had been with each other comfortably for years. Tears blurred her vision quickly. Now that she was alone, she let herself cry again.

Was it really all so long ago?

A loud thump made her gasp in surprise. She turned around, noticing the dark figure moving to stand up. She raised her hand, ready to blast whoever it was before it could harm her, when she stopped mid-way.

It... it couldn’t be.

“Isabel.”

Shaky hands moved to cover her mouth. She didn’t know exactly what she was doing.

Isabel was aware of the tears and the blinding sense of disbelief coursing her blood, running around through her entire body and leaving her shaking with fear it was not real. There wasn’t much in her mind because she couldn’t even breathe. Feelings, emotions, burst through her, entrapping her, as she succumbed to everything painful and everything loving inside of her. An overpowering sob tore through her.

To her, seeing Alex stand in front of her... it was everything. He had haunted her, was all she wanted, all that had broken and put her together. She had belonged to pain for so long, had told herself time and again that Alex was dead...

“Oh...” was all she could say, running towards him and crushing her body to his. He was solid, he wasn’t a dream she had cooked up out of despair and heartache. He was there.

But she felt his hot breath prickling in her forehead, she could almost feel the heat that he radiated burn itself into her skin, reminding her of all the nights she had dreamt him, only to wake up with the excruciating reality that it hadn’t been true.

“Can I do something I’ve been wanting to do since I got here?” Alex asked.

Isabel nodded with a smile because she knew what was coming. Her lips waited into anticipation until Alex’s lips finally came crashing down on hers. It was now inconceivable how she had lived without this for what felt years. She felt Alex’s hands trailing on her back and she immediately locked her hand on his black hair. Oh, it was so familiar, so wonderful. She now fully understood the ’coming home’ sentiment.

Isabel stared at him, and even through the shadows he could see her eyes that he had missed so much shining with salty tears. “Where were you?” she asked.

“I didn’t let myself think about it, even feel it,” Alex spoke suddenly. “I was torn away from everything and everyone I loved. I was stripped of everything, Isabel. The only thing that kept me remotely alive was the thought of you. The thought that I might see you again. I am not the same guy that you remember. Not even close, and I have so much to... to sort out and get through but... but I have never doubted what I feel, I have never once not loved you. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t.”

She would give him time to explain everything. For now, she would revel that he was there with her. “*I don’t know by what cruel plan of fate where we destined to spend a year without each other. But I love you, Alex. And I’m so sorry I never got to tell you that sooner.”

Alex swallowed hard. All the time he’d spent in Antar, being taught to fight against Isabel and all she represented. But with her standing in front of him, beautiful and resilient, he could not do this. He could not act as detached as he had with Liz and Kyle. With her he could not mask his water tears pricking at his eyes.

A single tear slipped out of his face as he hugged her tightly, never wanting to let her go.

Now she would simply freeze the moment.

She had read something, somewhere, in some place, about a girl who kept her most beautiful memories locked in a jar, so she could visit them any time that she wanted. So she can look at it, keep it close to her, and always remember how it felt. There are so many simplistic moments in our lives, things or words that at time seem insignificant, and we let them slip through our fingers, and inevitably our minds.

That moment did not appear insignificant by any means, it was thunderous and great as lightning.

And she would always, always keep it.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kyle was grateful Liz had offered to wait outside. He just wasn’t sure if he would be able to to explain to his father how Tess was living with them again. Not Ava, pretending to be Tess.

Tess.

Was it wrong of him, that he felt a small slither of ecstatic eagerness? To see her familiar gold curls and pale blue eyes, as vacant as they were? She was there, were she belonged.

“This was your room,” he offered in lame attempt to make conversation. She seemed content to stare at him and then dart her eyes to wherever he was taking her. She hadn’t said a word since Liz took him to her, which disheartened him. Though he had been warned, he had never expected such erratic, muted behavior from her. She had always been vibrant, and loud, and he had always loved to hear her laugh. He always associated laughter with the emotion he got. Everytime he heard Isabel laugh, it always felt like he had watched his favorite team play and they won. When Liz laughed, he always felt his heart fill with tender adoration and his stomach tickle with nervousness. With Tess, it was always a soothing, comforting feeling, and it was as bright as a sunflower.

There was anger accompanying whatever small sense of happiness, though. She had, in no uncertain terms, grabbed his heart from his chest, ripped it to sheds and unceremoniously dumped it into a blender.

Graphic, Valenti, he thought to himself sarcastically. He hadn’t been able to enter her room for the longest of times, and was soothed by the fact it was still as he remembered it. Her knittings were scattered all over, the jersey of his she always wore to sleep was lying atop the bed, and the pictures...

He gulped, averting his gaze from her.

He tried remembering all of the moments, memories, glimmers of conversations and laughters.

“Tess, do you remember me?” he asked helplessly. “Your Buddha Boy, remember?”

She didn’t answer him, and instead moved to grab the jersey, clutching it to her chest.

A sound of frustration came from him, crossing his arms and hopelessly gazing at her as she looked and touched at everything. He wondered if it was even familiar to her.

Tess turned to stare at him quizzically. “I remmeber something about you. Not exactly a memory, but how I felt every time you laughed.”

Kyle gulped. “How?”

“I don’t really know what emotion it is. I can’t feel anything now, just remember how I used to, ” Tess said helplessly, and she wasn’t looking at Kyle anymore, but outside the window, as if it held all of the secrets in her world and his. “My toes would always feel like someone was tickling them, and it made it harder for me to walk. Does that make sense?”

He smiled at her innocent way of explaining, finally understanding what Alex meant by her emotional confusion. “Sort of.”

“My tongue always felt like it was entangled into my teeth,” Tess continued, the closest to smiling he had seen from her that night, “and I couldn’t always talk so confidently. I always felt safe and beautiful, and I never felt lonely. That’s... that’s what I remember.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

She was so close to reaching him. His color compelled her to it, and she would reach him this way, through her dream state and his. She would follow the blend they had discovered together, emeralds, rubies, silver diamods and cobalt sapphires, golden yellow, bright oranges, ochres and velvet purples. She would one day paint this.

She finally saw him, standing in front of her, blurry through the thick fog of her sleep. But he was there.

Liz’s heart almost broke at the way he was staring back at her. His eyes watered, as he reached for her hand. He sighed with relief when she let him intertwine his fingers with hers. “You’re the only one who’s ever believed in me,” he whispered, staring straight at their hands, his big one eclipsing her fragile, small one.

“We believe in each other,” Liz reminded him. “You stood by me just as much.” She gulped, trying to blink back tears but it wasn’t possible, the dam broke loose. “I wish…” she choked out, “I wish things could be normal. I wish we could just be two people in love. I wish that so much, Alec.”

“I wish that, too,” Alec lamented.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered fiercely, wiping the tears away angrily. “We never asked to have to continually forsake our lives and our happiness for others. Alec, I just… I just want you to be with me.”

“No one said it was fair,” Alec whispered back, just as brokenly. “We didn’t ask for it - but it’s what we got. Please don’t put yourself in danger. Please just… just let me go, Liz. They want me. They’ll-they’ll leave you alone. Please.”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Liz…”

“No,” she cried quietly, before bringing his mouth down to hers.

“Liz,” he urged gently, stepping away from her and leaving her cold.

Tears fell through her lashes, though she tried to hide them, begging Alec to either ignore or forget them.

“We both knew that it couldn’t last,” he said softly, the pained expression in his eyes would not leave him.

“I know,” was Liz’s reply, even softer then his, surprising him as he tried not to flinch at her obvious resignation. He wanted this.

“If you know that it would lead us to nothing but pain, why don’t you let us go?”

“I tell myself that I should, that it couldn’t... can’t happen. But it’s like I’m two different people, Alec. With Maria and everyone else I’m just... I’m the sweet girl. The one who tries hard at her studying and is neurotically imbalanced and reads geeky books and she’s... she’s concealed. And with you I’m just different. And I’m not pretending to be either, I’m just both. And I don’t want to feel this for you anymore. Maybe you’ve been right all along.”

She finally stepped away from him as well, too hurt to keep pressuring. How long had she tried to reach him, only to be left in the dust?

He said something. And she had barely heard it but it was there, hanging in the air between them. “Liz, I love you enough to let you go.”

She stood between the colors, hair overlapping in her face as a tear found its way down her cheek. “I love you enough to allow it.”

Before she knew it, he was pushing her out.

Liz opened her eyes, More tears find their way scaldingly past her cheek, resting in the corner of her lips.

They taste like pain.

She had to keep fighting! her heart argued with her desperately.

Her mind knew better.

Tears clashed with her cheek, salt turning sour, fire turning bitter.

Her eyes finally focused, as she realized Kyle’s warm, brown eyes were closely gazing into hers. “You fell asleep,” he said softly, standing as she sat up, groggily.

“Tess?” Liz inquired just as softly.

“She’s out of it. Has been for half an hour.”

Liz nodded.

Kyle bit his lip awkwardly, damning himself for acting so weird. He was never awkward around Liz. It shouldn’t be weird. Only it was. Because whether they wanted to admit it or not they had danced around something since graduation, despite her loving Alec or him still holding on to Tess.

He had never in his wildest dreams thought Tess would return, much less return in such a state. She needed him.

Liz finally stood, facing him. He was scratching his forehead uncomfortably. She didn’t answer him for a moment, only held her hand in her chest, the dream so vivid, so rooted inside of her.

“Let me take you home, Liz,” Kyle offered quietly.

“Can we walk?” she asked abruptly, snapping out of her daze.

He almost smiled. Not quite. “Yeah. We can walk.”

She almost smiled back. But not quite. “Okay.”

They made it to her balcony, and the walk was quiet, but pleasant, and wordless, but not lonely.

Liz opened her mouth, closed it, then shook her head. “Kyle...” she let out a shaky sigh, “she looks okay. Considering.”

It was feeble, her comforting comment, and they both know it, because it doesn’t begin to encase what he must be feeling, what she is feeling.

Kyle cleared his throat, oblivious to the water falling to his jacket, troubled as her remembered Tess and her painfully empty blue eyes. “Yeah.”

Liz closed her eyes and stopped walking the minute she felt the gentle raindrops hug her face. She let everything else leave her mind, let the breeze and rain drive away her worries.

Kyle finally caught up with her after a few short strides, putting his hands in his pockets and raising his eyes to the sky as well, the both standing serenely.

She finally gave a heavy smile, turning to him. “Dance with me.”

He gave a low chuckle. “In the rain? Are you turning into a cornball again? I might have to inform Ava.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, but he nonetheless grabbed her arms and pulled her to him.

She rested her head in his shoulder, strong and safe and filled with warmth, and was Kyle anything if not all of the above?

“Kyle?”

“Hmm?” he murmured, lost in the moment.

“I’m really, really tired of being left behind.”

If he ever second-guessed himself, he would have never pressed his mouth so thoughtlessly to hers. That way, he’d have never remembered how soft and perfect her lips fit against his. Her gasp of shock melted into a surprised sigh, his hands moving to her waist, molding her body to his, pressing himself to her as he slowly darted his tongue to trace the outline of her bottom lip.

Liz moved them to the window, closing it swiftly once they had jumped inside, her lips coming to life as they moved against his and her hands moving to his neck, keeping up with his pace. She lost herself in the moment, let go of everything except the feeling that she needed it, needed him.

Kyle almost sighed with content when they finally made skin contact, having both lost their shirts. He traced patterns along her smooth waist, his hand reaching hesitantly to touch her stomach, fingertips grazing below her rib, eyebrows meeting softly in a frown as they stayed there.

“Where you were shot,” he whispered softly, his lips tenderly brushing the spot. There was no scar, but there would always be the wound. He didn’t need to see it.

He was firm, their eyes meeting once again.
Her legs gave out on her as she fell clumsily to the bed, bringing him along with her. His hands fell to her now-bare hips as his mouth once again found hers.

Bodies that burned at the touch of a hand, a gasp from her mouth. Ragged breath that didn’t seem as important as the exploration of each other’s skin. Her eyes fluttered closed, as a moan, husky and uncharacteristic, whispered out of her mouth and tickled his ear sensously. She clutched to him as if life depended on it, thrusting involuntarily.

She pulled him closer, needing his warmth, shivering as his breath tickled her ear, losing whatever small control she had left of her. Her senses were on overload, sounds were louder and feelings were stronger, and she didn’t know exactly what she needed, only that she needed more.

They pulled away, damning their need for breath.

“Do you love Tess?” she asked, panting.

“You’re asking me this now?”

“Do you love Tess?” she repeated.

God help me. “I think so.”

Liz bit her lip, choking a moan, hands clutching desperately at her pillow. She whimpered in frustration when his bare hips rubbed hers, moving along with him, strangled breath burning.

“Do you love Alec?” he asked in turn, groaning when her lips took tender assault of his neck.

Hopelessly. Irreversibly. Forever. “Yes.”

He winced, even if he tried his hardest not to. Their honesty was what made Liz and Kyle, Liz and Kyle. It always came from a place inside of them that could never be anything short of wonderful.

“But I love you, too,” he whispered miserably, lips frantically possessing hers, claiming her mouth so desperately he almost took her very soul. “It’s a different kind of love, but it’s love all the same.”

She writhed underneath him. “Kyle,” she pleaded.

He eased into her, and for a moment she stopped all movement, mouth opening in wonder as she felt him inside of her. Her head fell back in stunned fascination.

Teeth clashing with shameless need, lips bruising with agitated longing as he finally began to move. It wasn’t a hurried rythm, he took his time to find their pace. Nothing else seemed to come to her mind because she couldn’t think, she could only feel in that moment and she liked it. And Kyle was so, so gentle with her. There was no pain, only this need for more, more, more. Stronger, faster, harder. Stars seemed to fall through a crystal haze in her mind, as he fiercely demanded all of her, and she gave it to him.

Eyes locked, refusing to lose each other’s gaze as they connected, skin overlapping skin, her cry losing itself in him. Smoldering, hungry hazel dancing with his sultry sapphire. Labored breathing mingled with flesh as waves crashed into her.

Liz let her breath even, let her heart return to its normal pace, her face resting in the crook of his neck as his hands curled into her wet hair.

Still inside of her, Kyle put both hands on either side, staring at her longingly, as if he knew he couldn’t have her the way he had wanted.

Liz passed a hand through a lock of his hair that fell across his damp forehead, before pulling him back to her.

“We’ll be best friends no matter what... right?”

“Always,” he vowed fiercely, closing his eyes drowsily.

They didn’t need to speak it, verbalize it, throw it to the wind. No, what they had was far too special, far too deeply intwined to anyone to ever understand.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~





*This line was inspired from the movie The Count of Montecristo.

I’m so glad there are some sticking to the story, and here I am, with a much sooner update as promised! Now, after you read this... I don’t know how you’ll take it. I just hope you don’t hate Liz or Kyle - they’re both hurting and need some lovin. And yeah, I have a small soft spot for them. They’re both (along with Tess, Alec, and Isabel) my favorite characters in this story. Actually, they all are - Maxie, Ava, Michael, even Max, to a certain point. I know that after reading this, you will think this is a Loyalist story. Honestly, it has always had its undertones and slight banter. But this story is an X-Tremer story to the end, I still love them dearly but honestly, this chapter flowed out of me and I couldn’t write it any other way. I can’t apologize to those who don’t like what happened - it felt real to me.

So, it’s a long chapter and I hope it makes up for all the time I was absent or however long it might take me to get the other chapter coming. I finally have a stronger sense of where I want to take this, though. So I promise I’m going to try to make it as soon as possible.

I thank everyone who replied, and those who wish me well. I hope things work out soon too, but I might as well throw myself to writing a little.

I hope you liked it. I really, really do. Because it’s one of the most honest, truthful thing I have written in a long time.

Thank you.