First of all, I just really need to say
thank you for your beautiful words on the previous two chapters - especially regarding the sex scenes.
I find sex scenes
really difficult to write. I always find myself writing along happily all the way up to a the "sex scene" itself and then just stop, mentally adding a "insert sex scene here"-clause, before skipping to the next chapter while trying to ignore the big pink (sexy) elephant in the room.
This is not because I don't want sex to be part of a story. In the books I read, I find them to be a crucial part of a real relationship, because that's what sex is in real life. So I, personally, need them in a story to make the relationship I'm following more real and realistic.
But they are difficult to write because I don't want them to come off as crude, unrealistic (not taking into account alien themes here obviously
), or even pornographic.
I want sex to be an extension of the relationship I'm trying to describe. I want it to be natural and just as intimate and real as sex (in the best of worlds) should - and could - be. I want it to be insecure and hesitant while intimate and empowering, because I believe most of us are at our most vulnerable and exposed in that situation. Which could both be good and, sometimes, bad.
I want to describe the act of love
making, not the mere technical mechanics.
Which for a person like me, with annoyingly high demands on herself, is a monumental task and - apparently - demands that I succumb to excruciating tooth pain before gathering the strength to write this stuff
But to be serious... Apparently, judging from your feedback, I've managed to do something right. And since writing sex is my Achilles' heal, I'm really touched and moved by your compliments.
Just needed you to know that <3 <3 <3
On to the rest of your wonderful feedback!
Ashley (Morning Dreamgirl) - Ashley, I'm happy and grateful that you didn't just copy mezz's feedback. Because even though I get a feeling that you have very similar thoughts and opinions about what might be going on in this confusing story, you always manage to add your two cents.
Plus, I would hate to miss out on your feedback
Concerning Max's "freak-out" when he was on the phone with Isabel; he was - as you guessed - most likely stressed about there being no change to the connection - inadvertently now having put Liz in even more danger by breaking yet another rule. And Max - knowing Max - probably feels responsible for adding danger to Liz's situation. But yes, there might also be something else that Max gets anxious about. Something that he obviously doesn't want Liz to read from his mind. You'll (amazingly enough) get the answer to that question in the next chapter
I know, not very often I can say that
Concerning Mr. Evans role in this whole Hondo-adventure; I wrote mezz a reply below since she was pondering the same thing. In sum, it's still a bit unclear why no one checked up on Max, since he obviously never called his mother last night before he went to rescue Liz from the walk-in closet.
But if he thought his son was going to try and strengthen the bond with Liz there's a 50/50 chance he'd try to stop that from happening. Maybe the conversation between them was basically his way of letting Max know that whatever choice he made was going to have a consequence. Maybe he was trying to encourage his son to take the "easy way" out and let Liz go.
That's actually a valid thought.
And the fact that she was able to make him glow (I think) shows how strong their bond was before they even "double-bonded."
You're onto something there...
And sneaky you! Making us go a whole (wonderfully long) chapter thinking that a double-bond would happen, have it not happen and then pop it into the
next chapter! That's the sneakiest cliffhanger if ever I read one!
But I think that's part of the reason their bond is so strong. Not only did he surrender to her and she to him but the power and domination that usually accompanies great power was the last thing on either of their minds. One of them wasn't pushed aside so the other could "come out on top" so to speak. It was a joining of equals and so the power was distributed equally and not in favor of one person more than the other. I think that's probably one of the reasons that "Unbreakable" bonds are so rare. You're only as strong as your weakest link. So if it's a joining of equals it stands to reason the bond would be stronger than if one person was more dominating and controlling during the process.
You and mezz are both seeing this the way I want it to be seen
Good on you. And I love how you use the "weakest link" analogy, because that's exactly what it is. They are - logically - stronger as equals, as equally willing participants, instead of Max having to force Liz into the bond and Liz resisting (which would've been the case if it had been a bonding between Liz and Sean).
While their joining this time was partly (largely?) based on their bond strengthening it was still no less sweet than the first time they were together. I like the fact that they're already so comfortable with each other while at the same time still in that "new" phase with one another as well. Beautifully done, Jo.
Thank you
Thank you, again - as much as ever - for your thorough feedback!
L-J-L 76
Will Sean, Sean's father and Mr. Evans try to destroy Max and Liz's bond?
I'm leaning towards a more definite "Yes" to the first two individuals in that question, but a more hesitant "Maybe" to the third
Thank you for the feedback!
Helen (Roswelllostcause) - Thank you so much
Carolyn (keepsmiling7)
Only Max.......now Liz is glowing.
Hihi, yeah
Thank you so much for the feedback!
mezz
Isn't it ridiculous how I can be so relieved that a pair of imaginary people in a land of make believe now have a measure of safety and security. Isn't it amazing how silly it is to be so happy for these two as their love for one another creates a strength of emotions, ties and memories in a life that doesn't exist. That enables them to have a fighting chance against a tough world that also doesn't exist. I laugh at myself at how ridiculously and happily I am bound up in this story you have created; so deep and tactile and so real. This is how good you are. This is what you have achieved. I'm totally invested in their survival.
At the end of this chapter I had to just sit and allow the happiness, joy and relief settle for a while. To sit and feel the memories between them flow for a little while in silence. I'm so excited for you that your writing skills have developed to this wonderful level. And you're only just beginning.
I'm speechless. That's a novel in itself, mezz. Thank you. So. Much. I...really don't know what to say
I feel inclined to offer platitudes like "I'm so happy you're enjoying the story", but that doesn't quite cover just how much I appreciate you taking the time to tell me such...beauty. Thank you.
But I'm also glad you're enjoying the story
I think you've really understood what the bond is; it's own living entity. Which - perhaps - has made sure that just these two individuals met and bonded. Why else would they (unintentionally) bond as children, just by a touch...? An act that is - from what we've gathered from the story so far - a choice that is decided by the alien in the "relationship" (and is certainly not spontaneous). I'm also very happy that you read equality into the fact that Liz also can make Max glow. They'll never be complete equals, because he'll always be a hybrid (with a lot more practice at this than she) and she'll always be human, but they might be equals emotionally, in self-esteem and in their ability to protect and care for each other (you can do that even without impressive powers
). But we will, probably, see more of this in the future...
I hope that Max now has his pre-brainwashing memories back also. That will give him a tremendous advantage.
No...
Unfortunately not. They could catch "glimpses" of their memories - forgotten and remembered - but they haven't really had the opportunity to sort through them. Obviously, they were slightly otherwise occupied while their heads filled with memory flashes. But it gave them a sense that there were a lot of memories that they weren't aware of, which hopefully will come to the surface with time. In a way, their memories were unlocked. Now they just need to figure out how to open the door.
And a whole community with half of their memories?
Yeah, it's like a town filled with old people
Having said that, I've a soft spot for Mr E that I hope won't be disappointed. As I said before, I'm thinking he's playing a dangerous game of politics. Playing both sides of the field as much as he can to both protect himself and to see if what he believes will be accomplished.
Maybe you're right on that one...
After all, he demanded that Max come home for dinner - but never rang when he didn't show.
Well,
technically Mr. Evans only ordered Max to
call his mother about dinner, because she was expecting him. Max tried to tell his father that Isabel was supposed to have told his mother that Max wouldn't be home for dinner, but Mr. Evans still wanted Max to be the one to tell her - even if he wasn't coming home.
But that doesn't really matter, does it? Because as far as we can tell, Max never made that phone call. Still, no one called him and no one showed up to see why he hadn't called. Maybe Max had his phone on silent. Maybe Isabel somehow covered for Max, like Max and she had (apparently) talked about. And then maybe - like you insinuated - the Evans' family decided to leave Max alone. Either just to let him study (as he had claimed) or to do whatever he was hiding (which means that they have decided to not interfere).
I'm just gonna leave it at that....
He tells Max that he's still got talents to strengthen, things still to learn about his gifts. It's like there is basic information about bonding that all kids are told and then more information given when it is seen it will happen. Like how your parents start telling you more when you're getting married. (I imagine, not being married myself.)
And seeing that Mr. Evans appears to be part of the council meeting that next day, he probably knows
a lot more than Max.
Over the years, Max learnt how to hide better but Mrs E still knows Liz is special to Max (and perhaps simply special), so Mr E must also.
*whistles on an innocent tune*
The story is just beginning.
*laughs* I love this. I was like, "Really? I'm on chapter 50, man." But I see what you mean and I agree. In a way, we're heading into the second part of this story. The playing field is changing...
Thank you so so so much for your reflective insights and for sharing your thoughts!
AlysLuv
I'm so glad they cemented the relationship finally. And it was beautiful for both of them.
I wonder what changed all of a sudden for this glowing to happen and what it means that Liz has his alien powers now. Is that an effect of everyone alien and human bond ooorrrr is this something different /special. I can't wait to find out.
Well, that's why I'm here - to try and clarify things
"The glow" was first mentioned in chapter 25, when Liz had a nightmare about Sean, Mr. Evans and Max visiting her bedroom and "checking her development". Mr. Evans then observed "No glow" which wasn't further explained and hasn't been since. The glow means something. And considering that Mr. Evans was actively looking for it hints towards it not being particularly rare, but rather something that should eventually happen. And it also hints that any alien can bring forward that glow, even if they are not bonded. Since Mr. Evans was seeing if Liz was glowing in response to him and they are obviously not bonded to each other. This will be further explained later. Liz doesn't know what this means either, after all.
Thank you for the feedback!
Eve (begonia9508)
Let's keep our fingers crossed
But I wonder; isn't Liz an alien too? they never said what a gaea was... maybe she was a powerful alien so to get rid of them, they told gaeas that they were humans and not aliens?!
They (Max) have sort of said that humans become gaeas because they have a rare gene in their DNA, but you're right. No one has actually verified that Liz is completely human. As far as we know, Nancy was human. And Jeff is human. Liz researched this. But A doesn't have to equal B.
Thank you so much!
Alien_Friend
I'm speechless. I don't know where to begin. For being in excruciating pain you managed to do something so fantastic. I love how intimate and personal that was for them. I liked how you built them up and brought them over the edge.
You make me speechless too <3
I have a thing some times about not really liking sex scenes when it's just more like porn than anything. With writing I think you get a unique ability to do more than just talk about the mechanics and that's what I loved the most about that. The mechanics serve their purpose but when you can tap into more than just that I think that is the beauty of what writing can accomplish and you have uncanny ability for that. You had perfect blend of that and heart and emotions and just the essence of what it would be like if two souls that were created with the solo purpose to love each other would be like when they finally were able to connect and bond. You really personified that to the letter just now. I loved that most of all.
I melted with this.
Thank you. I'm so happy that I managed to "please" someone that sometimes don't like sex scenes. That makes me really happy
Mr. Evans really should be on Max's side. He should be able to tell that Max is hurting and he should protect him like a father. Let's hope he'll prove us wrong.
Nancy has spent her whole life as a mother protecting her only daughter. More on this is to come - in future chapters.
Thank you so so much for the feedback!
From FORTY-NINE:
He brushed my hair off my damp shoulder, traced the sprinkle of freckles over my shoulder, occasionally grazing my skin with his teeth as the desire became too much, when the feeling of being inside of me, so tightly bound to me, almost became unbearable.
But it was as if he knew, even though I didn’t, that we had been needing that break, had needed that moment to calm everything down, to not break apart.
When Max felt the ache twist in my stomach anew, he slowly and tenderly moved our connected bodies down on the bed, me under him, needing that full on connection between our bodies. We remained intimately linked, as close to each other that was physically possible without actually crawling into each other, as he moved inside me, bringing us to wonderful completion.
Sealing the bond firmly between us, which - as we would later find out - would give me an indirect access to his alien gifts...
____________________________________
FIFTY
”Come. Come with me.”
I looked up into his blue eyes, the fear rushing through me like ice cold water, and I slowly shook my head in refusal at his offered hand.
”No.”
”Don’t be ridiculous, Lizzie. There are sharks in these deserts. We need to be careful.”
The almost painfully bright rays of the sun bounced off against the calm surface of the small lake behind him and I wondered if he was telling the truth. How could sharks live there anyway?
The sand was burning into my feet as I shook my head. ”I don’t want to go with you.”
”There’s no one else, Liz,” he said and as I looked up at him his face had been shrouded in shadows. I couldn’t make out his features anymore. ”We’re alone here.”
”No,” I refused. There had to be someone else.
While I blinked the person in front of me was replaced by someone else. Golden brown eyes looked down at me, a small smile playing on his lips.
”Come. Come with me.”
I found myself shaking my head again. This surprised me. I didn’t want to go with him either. It didn’t feel safe. My whole body was tightening in fear and every instinct I owned was screaming at me to run. Run far away in the opposite direction.
”It’s me,” his soft voice - which I knew so well - coaxed. ”It’s just me.”
”I don’t trust you,” I whispered. Behind his head, clouds pulled up. Dark, thunderous clouds. I added in a hard-set, ”A storm is coming.”
”Yes,” he mumbled and grabbed my arm.
I startled, feeling his normally gentle fingers digging harshly into my upper arm, and pulled backwards. ”Let me go!”
”What’s wrong, Lizzie? You love me, remember?”
My breath hitched coldly in my chest as I watched his face change right in front of my eyes. His eyes turned larger, lost their brown as the pupils drowned everything out. His mouth disappeared - faded - while his skin shifted color.
”No…” I whispered, feeling the fingers of the hand around my arm elongate and curl almost two loops around my arm.
”You love all of me,” the…thing in front of me said. But there were no lips moving (
there were no lips) and the telepathic voice was grating painfully against my mind.
”You told me…” My body was falling apart in fear. I was shaking so badly I could barely form the next thought. The clouds were moving in, blocking out the sun, and darkening our surroundings.
”You’ve bonded with me.” The large bottomless, emotionless eyes stared at me. ”It’s too late to go back. You’re mine. You’re all mine.”
He snaked the fingers around my other arm, trapping me in coldness. I struggled against his hold, fear fueling me to extreme levels.
Thunder ripped across the sky and I bolted awake.
”Are you okay?”
I flinched at the hand that came up on my shoulder, my breath harsh and labored in my chest as my eyes flickered around the dark room trying to orient myself.
”Liz?” his voice said next to mine and his strong presence both next to me in the bed and in my mind was coaxing me to calm down.
I ran my hands up across my cheeks and through my hair. My face was damp, my scalp equally sweaty. Heartbeat after heartbeat was thundering against the inside of my ribcage.
I felt the sheet move around my waist as he shifted beside me.
Safe. I’m safe. I’m safe safe safe.
The mantra was rather unsuccessfully trying to convince me of that. Because the dream was still too prevalent in my mind. It had scared me. Really shaken me to the core.
Blinding fear coiled in my stomach as he put his hands on my upper arms and my body jumped with a fearful gasp.
The hands fell away immediately. ”Jesus, Liz. It’s just me. You’re here with me.”
I tried to still my breaths as his words (
It’s just me.) imitated the ones from my nightmare.
”It was a bad dream,” he said gently. ”You’re back.”
My heart was still beating all over the place when I slowly looked over my shoulder - almost anticipating large black eyes to look back at me - and was faced with Max’s concerned, emotional and warm eyes.
A sob surprised me and my body surrendered to the relief that it was just him. It was Max.
He took this as a sign to put his arms around me and pull me against his warm chest. A remnant of fear momentarily teased my mind before I let myself succumb to his comforting touch.
I didn’t cry. There were only the shocked occasional dry sobs that fanned against his chest. My mind was too occupied with what I had seen in that dream. I was too shaken up to really focus on the fact that Max was reading my every thought and going through my dream along with me. I was too shaken up to notice how his warmth kept moving in and out of the connection; weakening and normalizing.
After a couple of minutes, I pulled back, brushed my hair back and looked at his face. There was an unreadable expression across his countenance and I frowned as more parts of him were gradually shielded from me. I was curled up on his lap, both of us naked in close physical proximity, but I felt the mental distance growing between us.
”I’m sorry,” I whispered, wondering if he was rocked by my behavior, about my reaction to a simple little dream.
”It’s okay,” he mumbled back, but except for my body resting in his lap, he didn’t actively touch me. ”You’re okay.”
As I searched his face, prodded against the walls in his mind - like someone would search a wall for an hollow sound, a weakness, an opening - I started to analyze what had happened. What had changed?
The stereotypical alien face flashed in my mind.
Maybe I just figured it out or maybe Max had let me see it. It was hard to tell which.
My eyes widened as I looked at him in horror. ”No…” My faint whisper was regretful and apologetic. ”I didn’t mean- I was-” How do you excuse a nightmare that your fucked up brain had constructed?
”I’m not that,” Max said quietly, averting his eyes from mine and I felt the coldness seep into my bones. ”I told you… I’m not that. I’ll never look like that.” A shudder raced through his body so violently that I felt it against my still one. ”And I would never treat you like that.”
”I know,” I whispered and a tear rolled down my cheek. I was hating myself for putting him through this. I already knew the insecurities he was struggling with pertaining to his origins, and to have me basically accuse him of being a cold alien had to be…
”I’m sorry,” I said faintly, feeling mutually mortified and distraught.
”It was a dream,” he filled in my apology as he looked up at me and offered me a soft smile (which didn’t reach his eyes). ”I know.”
I hesitated, not sure where the boundaries were. Not sure if I was doing the right thing. But I simply decided on closing the gap between our lips and kiss him gently.
He didn’t pull away, but it felt nothing like kissing Max. He was holding himself back, his mind shaken as much by my dream as I had been.
Without his responding passion and smoldering fire, the tightness in my stomach contracted further as I tried to coax a reaction out of him. It was frighteningly lonely without the heated response that almost had become second nature by now.
”Please,” I whispered against his lips and put my hands around the back of his neck. I threaded my hands through his hair, concurrently urging his head closer.
”I’m really scared,” I admitted in desperation and, to my relief, felt his lips slowly respond as possessiveness floated through the connection, strongly followed by protectiveness and concern. Lastly, as he put his hands around my chilled back and flushed my front with his, an overwhelming wave of love flooded our connection making tears of relief run down my cheeks.
”I’m sorry,” I repeated in the brief pause between kisses.
”No,” he said and pulled back, his fingers fluttering lightly down my shoulder blades and further along my spine. My body shivered in delight as it grew more and more aware of its position against Max’s body. He caught my eyes and I felt his mind soften through the connection, letting me see more of him again. ”You shouldn’t apologize. I just…”
As he trailed off I could see that he was embarrassed about his reaction, knowing that I couldn’t help what my subconscious made up, and knowing that it was my way of dealing with everything that had happened. He couldn’t blame me for that.
But I could also see that it had really hurt him. It had really hurt him that he had been such a frightening part of my nightmare. That I had pictured him as cold and in the shape of an alien - a classic Grey.
I shook my head, cradling his cheek in my hand. He leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. ”I don’t know why I dreamt that, but it wasn’t you, Max. Even if it
looked like you, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t you. It didn’t feel right. I would’ve trusted you. I trust you with my life.”
He opened his eyes and quietly searched my face. ”Maybe it was trying to tell you something.”
God, I hope not.
Against the background of my very loud thought in our connection, I nodded. ”Maybe.” I brushed my thumb slowly over his bottom lip and added in a whisper, ”But that wasn’t you. That could never be you.”
I could tell that he was still trying to trust that; his insecurities were deeply ingrained in him and I had just accidentally emphasized those insecurities in him. But he probably wouldn’t let it go just yet.
”Thank you,” he whispered and kissed me gently.
We both jumped as his cell phone started ringing.
My panicked fear from the dream was still lingering in my body, the intrusive and sudden sound of his phone causing my heartbeat to trip, and I dug my fingers desperately into his upper arms. ”Who is that?”
His eyes softened as he looked back at me. ”It’s my alarm. It’s time to go home.”
The fear clawed itself into my heart, making it miss another beat. His statement brought on a whole new set of fears in me.
*****
The hour hand had just passed five as we made our way to the car. Our minds were quiet in the wake of what had happened just hours ago. Of what we had shared. Of all the overwhelming emotions.
But also of the ’crime’ we had committed and what the repercussions might be.
Our minds had been emptied, exhausted of possibilities and anxiety-ridden prospects. Our minds shared a shocked silence. What would happen now?
Max was still keeping things from me, but I didn’t want to rock anything by questioning it. Not yet. Reading my mind, he reached out and took my hand in his as we walked up to the car. But even if he knew what I was thinking about, he didn’t remove the censoring of his mind.
It was still dark outside and the desert chill was surrounding me like a threatening cloak. But I didn’t last long in the comfort of the car, with Max turning the heat up and comfortably navigating the streets to get to the main road between Hondo and Roswell, until I fell asleep.
*****
His fingers were gentle against my cheek as his touch slowly brought me out of sleep. ”Kitten…”
I moaned against the intrusion and curled away from the hand. He, apparently, then decided to use a more alien-based method and projected images of some very-
My eyes flew open as one of his fantasies burned into my mind. I blinked against the scolding desire teasing my body, before groaning with fatigue and meeting his eyes.
”Hey,” he said, looking guilty and gorgeous in the darkness of the car.
I swallowed slowly at the hot churn which had come to life between my legs and then immediately flushed at my reaction, glaring at him as I focused on the connection he was keeping at the highest level with his hand pressed against the back of my neck.
God! What have you done to me, Max Evans? You’ve created a sex addict!
His laughter was so immediate and warm that he probably surprised himself and my whole body warmed with indescribable happiness.
You haven’t exactly gone easy on me either, Ms. Parker.
”Whatever,” I grumbled. I rubbed at my eyes, but froze as I took in the surroundings outside of the car.
Wait.
Where was I?
This was not my house.
”We’re at my house,” Max answered quietly and I snapped my eyes towards his face, the recent blush rapidly draining from my face along with any remaining facial color.
”Why?” I whispered, unconsciously reaching out and grabbing his thigh to still the trembles.
He looked at me closely before grabbing the fingers I had used to nervously clench onto his thigh and brought my hand to his mouth. Placing a kiss against my knuckles, he said simply, ”Because you belong with me. And I’m through with this charade. I need to tell my dad that.”
Holy crap.
I stared at him, searched his face for any signs that he wasn’t telling the truth, but I knew that he really meant it.
This was what he had been hiding from me. I felt for that blockage in his mind, but it was gone. He hadn’t wanted me to know, not wanted me to worry beforehand, or think about anything else than our time together, when we had been in Hondo. He hadn’t wanted me to know that he had planned this for the last couple of hours.
That he was setting himself up to risk everything to get permission to be with me.
There was so many feelings running through me that I was starting to feel faint. I was unspeakably happy about him intending to stand up for us and that he had no further interest in hiding what we were going through. But at the same time I was terrified of how his father would react; if he would still force us apart and throw me directly to Sean, if he would erase our minds and hence steal our memories, or if our confession would not only get us punished but also killed.
”There’s only one way to find out,” Max mumbled grimly as he pulled back and slowly stepped out of the car.
Leaving me with my heart thumping out of my chest, my breathing severely compromised, and my arms tightly folded around my waist.
TBC...
