Round Eleven
Funniest Fanfic
Thank you guys! I'm so pleased you like it!
**Warning ‘The Ring’ Spoilers Ahead**
Wow, I never thought I’d ever have to write that.
Ok, so I may have based Liz on myself just a tad in this next part. I was the one who couldn’t sleep for two weeks after watching ‘Thirteen Ghosts’ and the whole phone ringing thing happened. A whole bunch of hammered sixteen year olds at a birthday party and someone decided to play a prank and hide a mobile phone under the couch. Needless to say there was much screaming and hysteria.
If anyone doesn't get the whole movie reference, PM me and I'll give you a synopsis of the plot so that you understand.
Chanks_girl
Natalie36
Clueless
Steph
Alien_Friend- Ha ha! That’s so funny! ‘I’d tap that’ was a regular saying in my house because my parents are fairly cool (I got my sense of humour from my dad). For example, we’d sit down to tea and someone would remark that they hate snow peas (me. I hate them) and someone else would reply ‘I’d tap that’. But now, ‘Your Mum’ jokes are a stable in our house. And since we’re all related, my mum seems to get most of the insults directed towards her. My brother and I even have ‘your mum’ fights. I’ll call him a douche or something and he’ll respond with ‘your mum is’ and I’ll reply ‘No, she’s a hooker’ and we’ll go on from there, usually with my mum in hearing distance. Yeah, we’re stupid.
Carolina_Moon- Your update? Right here.
Eve
Emz
Sunrise102
Nibbles2
Dreamer19
Katydid- I’m not sure that she’d be considered goofy in this part, more of a sissy.
Synera
Maigu- Thanks for taking a chance on a dreamer fic, I hope I put enough M&M action in for you. I love pretty much all the couples so I try to incorporate the others as much as possible.
ShatteredDreamer
Part Twenty: I Wish You’d Been Born A Girl, Max
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” muttered Liz as she lay down on her stomach, leaning on her elbows with her feet in the air. Isabel placed the DVD in the tray, pressed play, turned off the lights and then joined Liz on the bed, mimicking her position.
“Liz, it’ll be fine. It’s just a movie and you’ll be here and I’ll be here and we can stop each other from freaking out too much,” replied Isabel, propping a pillow under her chest as the disclaimers began to play.
“Isabel, I couldn’t sleep for two weeks after I saw ‘Thirteen Ghosts.’ How the hell am I going to survive ‘The Ring’?”
Isabel stared at her in amazement. “Seriously? Two weeks?”
“I’m the biggest pansy, I know. This is going to wreak havoc on my sleeping patterns. I can just tell.”
Isabel tried to stifle the laugh she felt coming. “Liz… it’s just a movie.”
“I know that!” cried Liz petulantly. “But fear isn’t rational! I keep thinking, ‘but what if it is real?’ and I freak myself out! I hate scary movies.”
Isabel slung her arm across Liz’s shoulders and hugged her lightly as the movie began to play. “You’ll be fine Liz. Don’t worry.”
Liz groaned and hung her head. Maria and Alex both knew not to rent out scary movies when they knew Liz would be watching it with them, but when she and Isabel had gone to the video store, she didn’t have the heart to tell Isabel that she couldn’t handle them. Especially when Isabel was so excited about watching it. She had always wanted to see it, but never had the opportunity before, and this seemed like the perfect one to her. So Liz had simply bit her lip and agreed, an action she was now seriously regretting.
Throughout the movie, Isabel kept sneaking glances at Liz to see how she was faring. Liz hadn’t been exaggerating when she said she hated scary movies. She had screamed out loud when they revealed the grotesque face of the girl who had died in the closet, which brought her Dad running into the room to see what had happened. He left laughing and promised not to come back in unless he was summoned. He knew Liz’s difficulty with scary movies and wouldn’t be surprised if she screamed many more times before it was over.
They were about halfway through the movie when the loud, shrill ringing of Liz’s phone broke the tense silence. Both girls screamed wildly in response, jerking back on the bed. Liz clung to Isabel, still screaming until Isabel snapped out of it and shook Liz. “Stop it! Just go answer to see who it is!”
Liz sat up, panting slightly in fear and made her way over to the phone. Her hand trembled as she reached for the receiver. She picked it up and placed it to her ear, half expecting to hear the creepy whisper of ‘seven days.’
“H-hello?” Liz answered shakily, waiting in terrified suspense to see who was on the other end.
“Hey Liz, it’s Max. Just calling to make sure everything’s alright.”
Liz felt the air she’d been holding in her lungs whoosh out of her in relief. Her relief was quickly replaced by anger as she recalled how frightened she’d been because he’d called.
“No! Everything’s not alright, Max! Jesus Christ!” she yelled into the phone, letting her weak legs have a reprieve as she sat down on the bed. She glanced across and saw Isabel place her hand on her heart and attempt to steady her breathing.
Across town at Michael’s apartment, Max felt his heart seize. Where things really that bad between Liz and Isabel? How was he going to fix that if they’d come to hate each other? He looked across at Michael and Alex who were listening intently to Liz who was on speaker. Alex looked worried as well but Michael was more taken aback than anything.
“Why? What happened?” he asked, a touch of panic in his voice.
“I’ll tell you what happened, Max!” snapped Liz sarcastically. “There we were, sitting in the dark, watching ‘The Ring’, and you decided to call us. To
call us. Do you know how much we freaked out?”
Max’s brow furrowed as he tried to understand what she was saying and then let out a bark of laughter as he finally grasped what she meant. Michael cracked up as well once he got it, whereas Alex looked more stunned. Why on earth was Liz watching a scary movie?
“You know what? I just… I can’t talk to you right now.” She passed the phone to Isabel and collapsed onto the bed holding her head in her hands.
“Oh, Max. You have no idea how much I hate you right now. Absolutely no idea.” She half laughed into the phone as Liz groaned on the bed, trying to get the adrenaline out of her system.
“Izzy,” Alex called out, yanking the phone from Max’s hands. “How on earth did you get Parker to watch a scary movie? I’ve tried and failed so many times.”
“Alex?” asked Isabel with a trace of confusion in her voice. Liz sat up at the mention of Alex’s name and stared at Isabel with a questioning look in her eyes. “What are you doing with my brother? I thought that he was at Michael’s?”
“He is,” answered Alex cheerfully. “I got invited to come over and do manly things like watch sports and action movies.”
“Oh, ok.” Isabel smiled along with Liz who had pressed her ear up to the side of the phone to hear Alex’s answer. They silently high fived each other, both thrilled beyond belief that Alex was being accepted into ‘the boys club.’ Liz knew that Alex loved her and Maria like sisters, but it wasn’t the same as having male friends.
“So spill! How’d you get Liz to watch a scary movie? The girl’s the biggest wussbag I’ve ever met and I can never get her to watch scary movies with me.”
Isabel glanced at Liz before replying. “I dunno. I guess I just asked her and she said yes. Nothing too special.”
Alex’s eyebrows raised at that flippant reply. “Wow, Isabel. She must really like you if she’s willing to watch a scary movie for you.”
Isabel grinned at notion and then stifled her laugh when she saw Liz throwing a sock at the TV screen and proclaiming it to be the work of the devil.
Max yanked the phone back from Alex who’d successfully been holding him at bay by twisting out of his way whenever he tried to reclaim the phone. Alex scowled at Max but let it be as he began to talk to his sister.
“Izzy? How are things going at Liz’s anyway? Despite being scared shitless by me, are you having a good time?”
“Oh, the best! I love girl talk. I’m so going to need one at least every week from now on. And to think of what I’ve been missing out on. I wish you’d been born a girl, Max.”
Isabel laughed as Liz chimed in. “I don’t.”
Max smiled as they engaged in light banter for a moment that went way over his head.
“Anyway Max, we’re going to go finish the rest of the movie right now. We’ll see you later.”
“Wait, don’t-” Max grimaced at the sound of the dial tone in his ear. “Hang up.” He turned to the two guys standing on either side of him and a wicked smile grew across his face.
“What’s that look for, Maxwell?” asked Michael suspiciously, his own smile growing in return.
“We’re going for a drive.”
***
“Don’t you understand Rachel? She doesn’t sleep.”
“That kid’s a freak,” remarked Isabel to Liz as Aidan’s nose began to bleed while he freakily chastised his mother for helping Samara out of the well.
“Scariest. Child. Ever,” replied Liz her eyes intent on the screen as the film changed location to Noah’s apartment.
Liz sat in absolute terror as the TV flicked on in Noah’s apartment filling the loft with the sound of white noise.
“Run, you freaking idiot! Run!” she whispered at the screen as Noah turned and flicked the TV off with the remote.
She bit her lip as the TV flicked on again showing the well. She had to physically stop her reaction of horror as Samara appeared suddenly, clambering out of the well. She was so engrossed that she neglected to see the shadows moving outside her bedroom window.
Samara lurched towards the screen jolting as she went as Noah stupidly sat watching her approach. The warm New Mexico breeze filtered in through her open window and both girls failed to see two figures preparing for their attack, just outside on her balcony.
Just as Samara popped through the TV screen, both boys stuck their head inside the window into the dark room and boomed out, “Seven days!”
In later recollection of what will always be referred to as “The Ring Incident,” Liz will try and convince herself that she and Isabel weren’t that scared and they didn’t scream that loudly at the boys’ sudden appearance.
However, both girls were very lucky that the volume of their screaming didn’t bring either of Liz’s parents running into their room. And they were also lucky that neither parent could hear either Alex or Max practically wetting themselves with laughter. It was only when Liz switched on the light that both girls realised just what had happened.
“Ugh… you…” Isabel practically shook with rage as she tried to come up with an insult that would encapsulate just how pissed off she was with them. “PIGS!” She stormed over to where Alex was lying and started to kick him as he clutched his stomach, in pain from how hard he was laughing.
Liz slid down the door, holding her head in her hands, trying to lower her heartbeat. While Isabel was able to regain her composure rather quickly, Liz was the complete opposite. She was easily scared and when she was, she stayed scared for a long time. She knew tonight and many nights afterwards she would be unable to sleep. It was a feeling she detested and avoided as much as she could.
Max regained his composure slightly and crawled his way over to Liz, still laughing heartily. He was even more amused by Isabel and the manner in which she was berating her boyfriend. She was clearly not amused.
“Liz,” he managed to get out over the top of his laughter. “You okay?”
Liz didn’t answer, so Max reached out to rub her arm and get her attention, only to have his hand slapped away.
“It was just a joke, Liz,” Max rationalised, unsure of how to proceed. He couldn’t tell how she was because she had hidden her face in her hands, but he could see her chest rising and falling rapidly and that her body was trembling despite her best endeavours to keep that under control
“Not. Funny.”
Max looked around at Alex for help not able to understand why Liz was reacting this way to a fairly simple joke. Isabel stopped beating up Alex when she saw how Liz was faring and rushed over to give her a hug.
“Liz, it’s okay, they’re just idiots.” Isabel soothed, glaring at both boys as she rubbed Liz’s back. Max gulped and felt a wave of remorse flow through him as he saw how much this was affecting her. Alex rose to his feet and cautiously staggered over to them, feeling guilt over how the prank had affected his best friend.
“I’m sorry, Liz, I didn’t realise…” Max trailed off, feeling both guilt and a remarkable amount of tenderness as he saw quite clearly Liz’s vulnerability. And to think how so many people saw her as a cold, ice bitch with a heart of stone. And Isabel too, for that matter. And now look at her; he’d never seen Isabel so caring towards another girl before.
“You didn’t know, Max,” mumbled Liz from underneath her arms. “Alex, however, had an extremely good idea about what this would do to me.”
“Liz, I’m sor-” Alex’s apology was cut short as Liz peeked out from under her arms and aimed a hefty kick at his ankle, sweeping his leg out from under him. Alex fell to the ground with a large thud, stopping mid-sentence.
“Lizzy, everything okay in there?”
“Yeah, dad, we’re fine!” Liz called back cheerily, ignoring the amazed stares of the three in her bedroom.
“How’s the scary movie?” Jeff called through the door, not wanting to intrude on the girls.
“Scary,” replied Liz glibly, coaxing a chuckle from Jeff.
“Good to know. You girls have fun now.” And with that, Jeff wandered back into the living room.
“Well,” said Liz brightly, clapping her hands together once Jeff disappeared from ear shot. “I don’t know about you, but I feel better now. Who wants ice cream?”
Silence was her only answer. Liz tried again, trying in vain not to laugh at the dumb struck expressions on their faces. “Izzy? You want some ice cream?”
“Liz Parker,” Isabel paused and shook her head, “You are simply diabolical.” She grinned. “I love it!”
Liz glanced at Alex down on the floor and smiled smugly at him. “Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it Alex?”
“You mean to tell me that that was all an act?” Max stared at Liz, wondering if he was ever going to be able to predict her actions.
“No,” replied Liz, as she stood up, pulling down her t shirt which had ridden up when she had slid down the door. “At least half of it wasn’t. I calmed down sometime after I slid down the door. But I couldn’t just let Alex get away with it.”
Alex pulled himself up into sitting position. “In my defence, it was Max’s idea.”
“What defence? You don’t have a defence! You could have explained to Max what scaring me would do and he wouldn’t have done it.”
Alex groaned, when he saw the look on both girls’ faces. “I’m never ever going to live this one down am I?”
“Nope.”
Liz looked across at the credits rolling across the screen and shuddered. “I suppose I should finish watching that so that I have closure.” She looked at Isabel, begging her to disagree. “Right?”
Isabel nodded sadly, causing Liz to shudder. “Yeah, you probably should, otherwise you’re always going to wonder what happened.”
Liz grabbed the DVD remote and patted the bed, beckoning to Max and Isabel. “Alex, you can stay on the floor.”
Alex scowled, turned off the light and hopped on the bed, ignoring the pointed glare from Isabel as he settled in next to her.
Max swallowed audibly gazing at Liz’s bed. Up until that moment, he hadn’t even realised that that he was in Liz’s bedroom. The place where she did all of her… Liz things. This is where she slept and she calmly wanted him to clamber on like it wasn’t a big deal. And she was sitting there, all cute and sexy in her pyjamas and beckoning him onto her bed with the crook of her finger. He’d always thought that if this moment ever occurred, the circumstances would be a little bit different. For one, he thought that they wouldn’t have an audience of his sister and her boyfriend. Max cautiously crawled to the back of the bed and leant against the wall watching Liz sit up on her knees to fiddle with the remote.
Liz reached the spot they had gotten up to and pressed play, turning back towards the head of the bed and smiling when she saw Max sitting on her bed, his legs spread. Without even thinking, Liz crawled and settled in between his legs and leant against his chest, his arms coming around her in an automatic response. Liz snuggled in and winced as once again Samara crawled out of the TV screen.
Liz decided that if she was ever going to watch a scary movie again, it would have to be in Max’s arms. While it didn’t seem likely that she would ever watch a scary movie again, there was no denying that Max was an excellent balm to her fears. He made her feel safe with his strong arms cradling her, his chest was also an excellent place to press her face into when she saw Noah’s distorted face when Rachel swung the chair around.
The credits rolled again and Liz frowned, switching on the lamp next to her bed. “You know,” Liz turned to Isabel. “I don’t think I did get any closure from that. In fact, I think that I’m just as scared.”
Isabel inclined her head. “Yeah, it wasn’t exactly a feel good film.” Glancing at both boys, Isabel came to realise something. “Hey guys, where’s Michael?”
“Oh, Maria called him. Something about her Mom being out of town for the weekend and her having the place to herself. I think he nearly pulled something in his race to his bike.” Max and Alex both laughed at how Michael had hauled ass after getting a call from Maria just moments after they planned to go scare the girls.
“That’s funny, Maria didn’t mention anything to us about her Mom being away,” mused Liz.
“I think it was fairly short notice. Her gross Uncle Bob had a heart attack and no one wanted to go take care of him in hospital, so their family is taking shifts and Maria’s Mom got the first one,” explained Alex, snagging a handful of chips from the forgotten bowl beside the bed.
“Oh, ok.”
“Or maybe she just wanted a break from you hitting on her Liz,” remarked Isabel wickedly with a wink, whilst stealing the bowl from Alex and placing it on the middle of the bed so that they could all share.
“Nah, she loves it!” replied Liz assuredly as both girls began giggling.
“What?!” Max looked from both Isabel and Liz in complete confusion.
“Oh, I forgot, you weren’t here. We were teasing Maria about how hot her Mom is and how we’d both tap that,” remarked Isabel, grinning when Alex laughed. She loved this sort of camaraderie, because she sure as hell didn’t get it from the cheer squad.
Max laughed and then added, “Well, at least you’ve got good taste. Ms Deluca sure has a great set of legs.”
Both girls stopped laughing and stared open mouthed at him. Max looked at them both and wondered what he’d said wrong.
“What? Why aren’t I allowed to join in on the joke? Is it because I’m a guy? Because I’ve gotta say, that’s just sexist.”
Liz slapped his chest and rolled her eyes. “No, you idiot! You and Isabel both said pretty much the same thing. That whole twin thing is just freaky.”
“Really? High five!”
Isabel rolled her eyes but indulged him anyway.
“Some people go for boobs and butts, but Evans’...we’re leg people.” Stated Max proudly, gently patting Liz’s calf.
“Oh, apparently I don’t go for good legs, I go for retards,” stated Isabel snootily, still pissed off about the prank she was now solely blaming on Alex.
“So,” Alex asked over a mouthful of potato chips. “Where’s this ice cream you promised us, Liz?”
The only response he got was a pillow to the face.
***