A huge thanks to LadyGloria for being my stand in beta for the first part of this! Much love!
Chapter 10: Misunderstandings
Liz grunted as she wrestled the last bag of trash into the dumpster. Slamming the lid closed decisively, she breathed an exhausted sigh of relief that it was almost closing time. Between time travel and confrontations, this had easily been the longest day of her life and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. A scuffling sound from behind drew her attention. Spinning, she extended her palm in warning, prepared to blast whoever was sneaking down the alley before they could reach her, the loss of her powers momentarily forgotten.
“Easy there, Tex,” Michael chuckled as he took in her offensive posture. “Don’t shoot; it’s just me.”
Feeling vaguely stupid, Liz lowered her arm and shivered. Michael had spent so much time drilling the use of her powers into her head that her reaction had become instinctive:
<i>Defend yourself. Disable the threat. Protect your family. </i>
It was the response of Liz Evans, a veteran soldier at war for the lives of the people she loved. It was a response that had no place in the life of Liz Parker, 15 year old waitress at her parent’s alien-themed diner. Wrapping her arms around herself, she watched Michael approach silently as she tried to reconcile who she was with who she was supposed to be.
In many ways, the girl who’d inhabited this body yesterday was dead. She couldn’t return to being that carefree innocent, even if she wanted to. She’d slipped back into this life with scarcely a ripple, but the simple truth was that this wasn’t who she was anymore. No matter how much she’d have to pretend for everyone but the man who’d just stopped warily in front of her, Liz Parker was dead. The stunning thing, she realized as she looked up into Michael’s curious gaze, was that so was Liz Evans. With the reality that had created her nothing more than a memory, the true nature of the crossroads she stood at thundered into her psyche.
There was no destiny. She didn’t owe Max for saving her life. The mistakes of the past would not to be repeated. The future was undetermined and, most importantly, she was <b><i>free</b></i>.
Free to live her own life, to make her own choices. Her eyes welled as she’d absorbed the opportunity Michael had unintentionally given them both. After all, he had been just as bound by their old reality as she had been. This newfound freedom was <b><i>theirs</b></i>.
“You okay, Parker?” he asked gruffly as he cupped her cheek, brushing away the solitary tear that had leaked through her lashes.
“I am now,” she mumbled against the warm cotton covering his chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Michael accepted her hug unquestioningly, sliding his damp fingers around to cup the base of her head as he welcomed her into his embrace.
“Must’ve been pretty distracted,” he murmured questioningly against her hair. “Been a long time since I was able to sneak up on you.”
Taking a deep breath at the reminder of how dependent she’d become on her empathy, she admitted quietly, “My powers are gone, Michael.”
He stiffened in her arms and drew back slightly to tip her chin up. “What? How?” he demanded in shock.
“We stopped me from being shot,” she explained softly, scarcely able to meet his eyes. “Never shot, never healed. Never healed, never changed.” A sick feeling filled her as she recognized how the loss of her abilities hampered her usefulness. She continued miserably, “I’m just a normal human now.”
The misery in her voice penetrated Michael’s surprise. Trying to ease the tension, he traced the line of her jaw with his thumb and said teasingly, “Like you were ever ‘just a normal human,’ Parker.”
Her dark eyes stared up at him tearfully and when she spoke, it was in a tone tinged with desperation. “I’m a liability now, Michael,” she confessed wretchedly, hanging her head and ignoring his attempt to lighten the mood as if she hadn’t heard him. “I’m helpless. I can’t keep watch for our enemies, I don’t have any way to protect myself…or you. Without my powers, I’m just another person who can be used against you.” Disentangling herself from Michael, she took a small step away and whispered brokenly, “You’re better off without me.”
A bolt of panic shot through him at her whispered declaration and he hauled her back against him before she could escape to the diner. “Liz,” he bit out as he crushed her to him, his mouth going dry in alarm and robbing him of his voice. Struggling to find the magic words to convince her how mistaken she was, he shook his head desperately and began again. “Liz, you’re wrong.”
“Michael, please…” she wept as she tried to slip free. “Can’t you see - ”
“No!” He explosively cut her off, suddenly angry with her for being so ridiculous. As if the only reason she were important to him was because her powers made her good backup! After all these years, hell, <b><i>especially</b></i> after the last six months, he expected her to know better than that! “Damn it, woman!” he snarled down at her, wrenching her chin up to force her to meet his blazing glare. “Are those teenage hormones eating your brain?” Ignoring her indignant yelp at the accusation, he continued unrelentingly, “When Max told you the truth about us, I was furious. I didn’t think some stupid little human girl could be trusted to keep our secret, but you proved me wrong over and over!” Shaking his head as his grip on her face softened, he bent to press his forehead to hers. “You saved us all dozens of times before your abilities ever manifested,” he rumbled softly as his lids slid closed, willing her to believe the truth in his words. “Helpless is not a word I associate with you, whether you’re crackling with alien mojo or not.”
Silence filled the small alley, thickening with tension as a stray thought occurred to him. Maybe she was looking for a way out. The notion seemed preposterous, until he remembered how she’d staged her showdown with Kyle by the lockers this morning. Their current little confrontation held some uncomfortable similarities to that event. The blood in his veins turned to ice at the idea of Liz voluntarily walking out of his life. He opened his eyes to find that she had closed hers. The ragged sobs trickling from her lips fanned his mouth with short huffs of air as she visibly struggled to gain control of her emotions. His heart twisted painfully at the sight of her crying.
She shouldn’t have to cry, he decided. There was no reason for her to endanger her life, or the lives of the people she loved. They had another chance, there was nothing that said she had to waste it with him. If she didn’t want to be a part of his life, he would be damned if he begged her. Hell, it’s not as if he could even blame her if she didn’t. Everything that had gone wrong for Liz Parker last time had been tied to them, why would she want to risk it happening again? Smiling bitterly as he remembered how happy he’d been this morning to discover that she remembered too, he forced his hands to release her.
Liz’s eyes fluttered open as he firmly wiped all trace of emotion from his face, the old stonewall expression he’d abandoned with her settling across his features like an ill fitting mask. Taking a step back, he studied her mutely. Confusion danced in her eyes at his unexplained retreat, but Michael ignored it as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“You want out,” he stated evenly, his insides curled in a tight ball of agony as he fought to keep from verbally lashing out at her. This was her choice; he would respect that even if it killed him. “Fine.” The finality in his voice was a death knell on everything he held dear as he pivoted and resolutely took the first steps out of her life.
Having had the very look she’d feared seeing from him this morning unexpectedly turned her way, Liz trembled, frozen in indecision as she watched him leave. She’d said he would be better off without her, but even if it were true, in that moment she knew she couldn’t help herself. For the first time in longer than she cared to remember, she realized that she was willing to be selfish. That doing the right thing meant nothing to her if it lead to him walking out of her life. The thought of living without Michael was excruciating, and the knowledge that he would never look back if she let him get away now jolted her into action. Dread filling her with every footstep he took toward the mouth of the alley, she lunged for him in desperation, “Michael, no!”
Wrapping her arms around his bicep, she clung to him, knowing at the very least he’d be forced to stop to pry her off. “Don’t go, Michael.”
Clenching his jaw, he stopped but refused to look at her. “Don’t make this hard, Parker,” he demanded in a detached voice that pierced her heart like an arrow.
“Michael, look at me,” she begged, snaking a hand up his chest to try and turn his head towards her. He stubbornly refused to be moved, and she settled for cupping the side of his face as she pressed herself closer. “Everything that went wrong before was because of me,” she explained unhappily. “Directly or indirectly, I was responsible for every tragedy we lived through, <i>starting</i> with the FBI finding out about you.”
Michael snorted in disagreement of that statement rather than take the opportunity to shake her off. Deciding that as a hopeful sign, Liz pushed forward. “I don’t want out,” she stated firmly, her eyes stinging with unshed tears as she laid her heart on the line. “I’m just terrified of being the cause of all that happening again. At least with my powers, I could help you.” Liquid tracks raced down her cheeks as she sagged against his shoulder, “Without them, I’m just one more person you have to worry about protecting.”
Her knees went weak with relief when she felt his body unexpectedly shift to envelope her.
“News flash, Parker,” he growled into her ear as he cradled her to his chest, “I don’t worry any less when you <b><i>are</b></i> equipped with an alien death ray.” Nudging her cheek playfully with his nose, he teased, “Hell, I may worry more. Your aim kinda sucked.”
She gave a watery chuckle as she laced her hands behind his neck and peered up at him. “We okay?” she queried, nibbling her lower lip nervously as she awaited his answer.
“If it’ll get you to stop leaking, then yeah, we’re good,” he retorted sardonically as he brushed the moisture from her face. Shaking his head as she beamed at him, he declared, “Seriously, I’m calling a moratorium on crying. No one’s hunting us, no one’s dead. I better not see another tear from you for six months.”
“Six months, huh?” she giggled at his demand as she watched him through her lashes, deliriously happy to have successfully halted his exit.
“At least,” he asserted as he smiled down at her, the ice in his heart melting as he accepted that they really were going to be okay.
Liz grinned back, snuggling even nearer to him in relief. Her smile faltered slightly as she realized how close they were. Michael’s palm was cupping her cheek, angling her face up to him. Her fingers had tangled themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck and his other hand was splayed possessively over the small of her back. Every inch of their bodies from chest to thigh were pressed together in warm contact, the hard planes of his a welcome counterpoint to her soft curves. Licking her suddenly dry lips, she watched Michael’s avid gaze follow the path of her tongue’s pink tip hungrily. The sight of those caramel eyes darkening, the pupils expanding blackly as the irises burned with amber fire, made it hard to breathe. What little space that existed between them seemed to shrink of its own accord until she could feel the whisper of his hot breath against her lips. Her mouth parted invitingly as her eyes slipped closed, his name a prayer on her tongue as the remaining millimeters separating them melted slowly away.
“Hey chica! You get lost out there?”
Maria’s voice doused their passion like a bucket of cold water. They leapt apart guiltily an instant before their lips would have met, the incomplete kiss burning between them as the backdoor to the diner swung open.
“Whoa,” Maria breathed as she took in their rattled appearance from her position at the door. “Look at me with the sucky timing,” she quipped as Liz blushed under her knowing gaze. “Hate to break up the fun,” she teased as she leaned against the doorframe, “but we’re swamped in here, Lizzie.” Winking at her friend, she called over her shoulder as she turned to head back in, “I’ll leave you and Romeo alone to say goodnight.”
“Oh god,” Liz moaned as she buried her flaming face in her hands, embarrassed beyond words by Maria’s verbal poking. Michael cleared his throat awkwardly, and she looked up to see him shifting uncomfortably next to her.
“You should, uh, probably get inside,” he told her, clawing at his eyebrow uneasily as he took in the crimson flush staining her cheeks. His fingers ached to trace the path of that rosy hue across her skin, so he slowly lowered his hand and clenched his fists by his side to keep from reaching for her. He wasn’t sure how they’d come so close to kissing a few short minutes ago, the events leading up to it were almost a blur, but he knew it wouldn’t have been a good idea for one very simple reason:
<i>He was in love with Liz Parker.</i>
It had sneaked up on him, creeping into his heart over the last six months spent exclusively together, over the years before spent on the road with their family. Without meaning to, she had slipped behind his walls and somehow become his everything. He’d tried hard to pretend that he loved her the way he loved Isabel, but in retrospect his self deception was glaringly evident. Maria had always pushed him for grand romantic gestures, but it was never a demand he’d quite been able to meet. All Liz had to do was wistfully wish for another chance, and he literally reordered the universe to make her smile. He was doomed.
There was no escaping it, and he’d finally gone past the point of denying it to himself. He was in love with Liz Parker. The unfortunate thing about that was that <i>she</i> wasn’t in love with <i>him</i>. Oh, she cared about him, of course. Saw him as a part of her family, counted him among her friends. Loved him in all the ways those things implied. With the memory of how she’d welcomed his advances tonight still pounding in his blood, it wasn’t even implausible to say that she was attracted to him. But the one thing she indisputably <i>wasn’t</i>, was in love with him.
And that made all the difference.
Realizing they were still standing there staring at one another uncomfortably, he cleared his throat again. “I, uh, just came by to tell you that I have an appointment with Mr. Evans tomorrow.”
Her embarrassment forgotten, Liz’s face lit up in a brilliant smile. “Oh Michael! Thank god!” She threw her arms around his neck in unthinking joy as she continued excitedly, “The sooner we get you away from that monster, the better! Do you mind if I come with you tomorrow?”
Michael’s hands hovered over her waist uncertainly. The instinct to wrap his arms around her like he usually would was almost overwhelming. He hadn’t realized until now how comfortable he and Liz had been with being in one another’s personal space. No wonder Max had given him such a hard time at the diner! He’d never been like this with anyone else before, and it was killing him to realize he couldn’t afford to be this way with her either. Settling for an awkward pat on her back, he carefully set her away from his body and stepped out of the hug.
“Okay,” he told her simply, meeting her eyes warmly to help ease the sting of him abruptly breaking their hug. “I setup the appointment for after school, we can head straight there once classes let out.”
“Okay,” Liz echoed feebly, strangely flustered by his uncharacteristic retreat. “I guess I’ll see you then?” Her voice lifted a little at the end, making the statement a question and betraying her own uncertainty of his response.
He couldn’t stand to leave her with that sad little moue on her face. Kicking himself for being such a pushover where this woman was concerned, he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to the crown of her head. “You’ll see me at school, Parker,” he chuckled as he stepped back. “If we’ve gotta do this again, then this time I’m graduating.”
Relieved by his return to their normal behavior patterns, Liz smiled as he headed out of the alley with a wave. “You better, Guerin!” she called to his retreating back. “I’m gonna hold you to it!”
Michael held a hand up over his shoulder to flip her off without turning, and Liz laughed to herself at his juvenile rejoinder as she went back inside.
***
Maria hadn’t been kidding when she’d said they were swamped.
Every seat in the place was packed when she came back in, and it was almost an hour after their actual closing time before they were finally able to shuffle the last table full of customers out the door. Eddie had finished cleaning the kitchen area in no time and hauled ass out the back door before either girl could ask him to stay and help with the rest of the clean up. Liz gritted her teeth at his defection and mentally counted the days until her dad would finally fire him for his repeated dereliction of duty.
Grabbing a tub of dirty dishes, Liz headed back to the dishwasher while Maria finished filling the sugar containers.
“So.”
Liz jumped. Her fellow waitress’ voice was a surprise, she hadn’t realized Maria’d abandoned her task at the counter to follow her into the kitchen. Setting the tub on the prep table, she turned to find the little blonde watching her expectantly.
“You and Michael Guerin,” Maria drawled as she smirked inquisitively at her brown haired counterpart.
“Maria!” She hissed, desperate to ignore the scarlet creeping across her cheeks. “We’re friends!”
“Is that what we’re calling it now?” her best friend laughed. “Can’t argue <i>too</i> much with that; whatever I interrupted out there looked <i>awfully</i> friendly.”
“I…i-it was nothing,” Liz stuttered as she tried to edge her way back out to the main diner.
Maria resolutely blocked her path, refusing to budge as she prompted, “So, nothing’s going on, huh?” Shaking her head skeptically, she arched a disbelieving eyebrow, “What’s with all the hugging, then? I’ve never seen that boy voluntarily touch anyone but Isabel Evans and, from what I understand, you two haven’t been able to keep your hands off each other all day.”
Shrugging weakly, the dark haired girl replied, “It’s not like that. He’s my friend.”
“Right,” the blond replied, rolling her eyes. “A friend that you suddenly act like you’ve known for years that your <b><i>best friend</b></i> has never heard you so much as mention. When exactly did this happen and where was I?”
“I’ve known Michael since fifth grade!” she protested hotly, frantic to divert anymore questions that she didn’t have any honest answers to. “Seriously Maria, can’t you get over it? He’s my friend, it’s no big deal!”
Pursing her lips, Maria crossed her arms and tilter her chin up defiantly, forcing Liz to look directly into her eyes. “So. You’re telling me that, apparently out of nowhere, you two are close friends and nothing has <b><i>ever</b></i> happened?”
Liz squirmed uncomfortably as the unexpected memory of a kiss at the end of the world flashed in front of her eyes, followed up by their near miss tonight in the alley. Her perceptive friend saw the look on her face and gaped at her.
“Liz Parker, you little liar!” she yelped as she playfully slapped the other girl’s arm. “And you said nothing happened! Just friends, my ass! Tell Mama Maria all about it!”
“Nothing happened,” she reasserted firmly, deciding to tell Maria a little bit of the truth. Experience had taught her that nothing else would get Hurricane DeLuca off her back. Slumping her shoulders a little in defeat, she continued hesitantly, “Okay. We almost kissed, but it was a mistake.” Maria opened her mouth to demand details, but Liz held her off with an upraised hand. “Look, that’s not important. The important thing is that Michael’s my friend and he’s going through a tough time right now. Please Maria,” she begged, grabbing her friends hands entreatingly as she pleadingly met her eyes, “please just let this go. I promise, if something <i>were</i> to actually happen with Michael, you’d be the first one I’d tell.” Unable to believe she was actually having this conversation with the woman she knew to be the love of Michael’s life, she blinked her eyes painfully. “But I swear,” she pledged earnestly, “nothing like that is going on.”
Maria cocked her head disbelievingly and slipped her hands free to cross her arms over her chest.
“Tonight was just…a-an aberration.” Liz stammered under the force of her scrutiny.
“An aberration.” Maria parroted back flatly. Seeing Liz’s frantic nod, she shook her head. “Oh-kay, chica. If you say so.” Wandering over to start loading the dishes in the washer, she called over her shoulder, “You’re passing up on one prime piece of meat, though. That Guerin boy is gorgeous, and obviously nuts about you.”
Unsure how to reply to the ridiculous tail end of that statement, Liz gulped, “I’ll just, uh, go finish up the sugars!”
Maria chuckled to herself as Liz fled to the dining area. Sister was blatantly up to her neck in a river of denial. Liz obviously needed help – a hot boy is absolutely crazy about her, and she says it’s nothing?! Maria decided the bonds of sisterhood demanded that she do everything in her power to help Liz see the light.
“Oh yeah, I’m on it” she said with a wicked grin as she watched Liz’s shaking hands fill sugar containers through the pickup window. “Don’t worry chica, we’ll have you two sorted out in no time.”
Welcome to number one in the Variable Suns series: