RhondaAnn - Thanks for my 1st ever bump! And here I thought people were just reading my fic to be polite ...

Walking Contradiction - Thank you for the very thoughtful feedback. If it goes to plan it should hopefully all come together like you have predicted.
DISC ONE - LITTLE CLOUD
Tonight
You can go to be Wednesday you’re a wanted man
And wake up someone else
Your oldest friends on the sweetest night
Now even they can’t help
And you run to stay still
You hope your heart explodes
Your beating wings
Tonight is made of all the space
In all the empty arms where lovers left their place
Before the love had passed
All drowning men are cowards out at sea
She wouldn’t cry with you
Try and be kind to yourself when you’re feeling bad
‘Cause there’s no better way through
And you run to stay still
You hope your heart explodes
Your beating wings
And you wander down the hill
And you’ve lost it all
Into the sky again
Tonight is made of all the space
In all the empty arms where lovers left their place
Before the love had passed
You spin the lover’s curse
And trapped without the words to get her to agree
Together you’d be free
Sometimes you got to look into the sky and become small again
The note of a single star, it don’t matter where you are
It’s an arrow saying goodbye, goodbye
Tonight is made of all the space
In all the empty arms where lovers left their place
Before the love had passed
You spin the lover’s curse
And trapped without the words to get her to agree
Together you’d be free
Together you’d be free
Tonight is made of all the space
In all the empty arms where lovers left their place
Before the love had passed
For the first time in a very long time, Max felt things were beginning to look up for him. It turned out the angel across the hall was flesh and blood, and actually seemed to enjoy spending time with him – even if it meant occasionally having to haul him up off of the hallway floor. Even when he hadn’t been out drinking, she still came over late, just to share a coffee and talk about her day. She was a nurse, so she often had to work late shifts, and afterwards, even after midnight, she didn’t want to go straight home to sleep. Max didn’t sleep much so he welcomed the company. At the end of her night shifts she would turn up in time for breakfast, and he always made sure he had bacon and eggs cooking on the stove for her.
This had gone on for a few weeks and, although attracted to her, Max had never made a move on her (except possibly when he was drunk and had no control over his actions). Those nights were becoming few and far between, and Max felt more in control of his life. He was beginning to see his old friends were not much help when it came to encouraging him to drink less and take care of himself. But Liz had managed to ground him, like no other woman had been able to do. She was the voice in his head when deciding whether to have one more beer, and she was the face he saw when he told himself he could become a better person.
He had woken that morning with one thought in his mind. He was in love with Liz Parker and he wanted to shout it to the sky. Max Evans was in love for the first time in his life, and for the first time he had no idea what to do. He had slept with many women, but had never loved any of them. He had never tried to woo them, shared his feelings or poured his heart out. But today, he wanted to do all of that. He wanted to tell Liz how he felt, bare is soul, and maybe, just maybe, she would tell him that she felt the same.
Tonight she was finishing work at eleven, and instead of the usual supper, he decided to cook her a real dinner. He had been to the market during the morning to purchase some fresh swordfish and salad, a bottle of wine, and ingredients to bake a cheesecake. The cheesecake was harder to make than he had first thought, and he tried to picture what Isabel had done when she baked it for his nineteenth birthday. Isabel had always been such a good cook, and he hoped some of her talent had managed to rub off on him. He smiled at the thought that he was able to think of Isabel and not need to drown his grief in a bottle.
He hadn’t told Liz of his plans for dinner, so when she eventually walked through his door, she stood gaping at the candlelit table and formal place settings.
“Hi.” Max said, leading her inside, closing the door behind her, and taking her bag off her shoulder.
“What’s all this?” Liz said a little shocked.
“I thought you might be hungry so I made dinner.” Max said, pulling a chair out for her to sit down in.
“Wow. I … I’ve never had someone cook for me before.” Liz replied, still a little flabbergasted.
“Well, I hope it lives up to expectations. I don’t cook much, except perhaps for bacon and eggs.” Max smiled, before heading back to the kitchen to serve the fish onto their plates already waiting with salad. After adding is special sauce of chilli, lemon and coriander, he placed a plate in front of Liz, and then took a seat opposite her.
“This looks great Max.” Liz complimented.
“Wait until you try it before you dish out compliments.” Max smiled.
“Mmm, it tastes good too.” Liz said, after taking a bite. “Have you ever thought of becoming a chef?”
“Do you really think it’s good?” Max said, inwardly giving himself high-fives and beaming with delight.
“Absolutely. I’ll have to come for dinner more often.” Liz smiled, before taking another bite.
“Can I offer you some wine?” Max said, picking up the bottle of Riesling that had been waiting on the table.
“Uh, I don’t think so … and I don’t think you should either.” Liz said honestly.
“It’s just a bottle of wine.” Max replied.
“To most people perhaps, but not to you. To you it’s a crutch.”
“No it’s not …” Max began to argue.
“Then you wouldn’t mind if we gave it a miss tonight then?” Liz said, picking up the bottle and putting it back in the fridge. She grabbed some chilled water instead.
“Of course not.” Max mumbled in reply. Admittedly he had been drinking less, but seeing the bottle waiting in the fridge all day for tonight had made him a little thirsty.
They enjoyed a nice meal together, chatting about their day and Max’s almost perfect attempt at baking a strawberry cheesecake. After dinner they retired to the lounge room and Max made them both hot chocolates, not wanting to load them each with caffeine so late at night. While Liz was busy flipping through an old album that Max had left on the coffee table, Max took the opportunity to pour a shot of scotch in his drink.
“How old were you in this photo?” Liz asked, pointing to a photo of Max and Isabel making sandcastles on the beach.
“Twelve. We spent our entire summer down on the beach that year. My mother would call Isabel her ‘little mermaid’ and would joke that we would come back one day with a fish tail. Isabel loved the water so much. She won the junior life saving competition that year.”
“Wow. And what about this one?” Liz asked, flipping the page.
They went on like that for a while, with Max recounting his childhood with Isabel and Michael. He had pulled the album out that morning, wanting to reminisce about the good ol’ days, back to a time when he, Isabel and Michael had been happy. Looking back now, he remembered how he had envied Isabel and Michael’s relationship, and how he had wished that someone would love him just as much. Lately he had been wishing the same thing, but with a particular girl in mind.
“Liz?” Max said, feeling courageous all of a sudden, “I just wanted to say, I really like you.”
“I like you too Max.” Liz replied.
“No, I mean, I really like you. I think I’m falling in love with you.” Max admitted.
“Wow. Oh, wow, um…” Liz replied, taking a bit aback. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Forget it.” Max replied, rising to leave, taking the hint that she obviously didn’t feel the same way about him.
“No, Max. It’s not you, okay?” Liz said, putting a hand on his arm to stop him getting up from the couch. “I really like you too, and I’ve definitely thought about it, it’s just …I don’t know if I’m ready for all that.”
“All what exactly?” Max asked confused. “Love? Happiness?”
“No, I’m not ready for the fallout.” Liz admitted. “I don’t want our friendship to end.”
“Who says it’s going to?” Max asked.
“Because I have been in love with an alcoholic before, and it didn’t end well. It can never end well.”
“What happened?” Max asked, concerned, but at the same time jumping for joy that she had used the word ‘love’.
“His name was Charlie, and he was my best friend’s brother. He was my first boyfriend, and we were inseparable at High School. He was a year older than me, and in a band. Anyway, he started getting into drugs and drinking, and things went downhill pretty quickly…” Liz trailed off, caught up in the memories.
“One night, in one of his drunken binges he threw me across the room.” Liz said, indicating to the scar she still had above her eyebrow. “We broke up for a little while, but then he was in a car accident. He hurt his leg pretty badly, and had to be in physiotherapy for months. I guess I still felt responsible for him, I don’t know, so I would drive him around and help him with his exercises. I still wasn’t able to get through to him though, and he continued his drinking and his little pity-party. He could no longer hurt me physically, but he could hurt me emotionally. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and I had to learn to let go and concentrate on looking after myself. Its taken years to get back to a place where I can be happy, but I’ve never been able to get close to anyone again. Instead I have put my energy into helping people at the hospital who appreciate me.”
“What happened to him?” Max asked.
“He’s been in and out of rehab a few times, jail once or twice. I still see him occasionally and lately it looks like he’s going through a good patch. Only time will tell I guess. Anyway, that’s why I can’t be more than just your friend right now.”
“I’m not him though.” Max pointed out.
“I know you’re not, but you can’t guarantee what will happen when you’ve had too much to drink.” Liz replied. “I can’t go through the worry of wondering whether tonight will be the night that you lose control. I just can’t do that again.”
“I would never hurt you.” Max promised.
“I know you wouldn’t, not deliberately.”
“So, when I can prove to you that I’m completely sober and I don’t have a drinking problem, you’ll consider letting me in as more than just a friend?” Max prodded, wanting some kind of hope that he wasn’t the only one with these feelings.
“If you get help and get sober, I’ll consider it.” Liz replied.
“And until then, we can still be friends?”
“Of course.” Liz replied. “I love spending time with you.”
“Me too.” Max replied with a smile. Just friends was okay. Right now, he would take what he could get.
“Would you like another drink?” Max asked, reaching past Liz to pick up their mugs off the coffee table.
Liz looked at Max for a moment, then looked at his mug. Grabbing it from him she took a sniff.
“Max?” Liz asked hesitantly. “What did you put in here?”
“Nothing.” Max replied, a little too quickly.
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing. I can smell it on your breath.” Liz said, and Max could see the look of disappointment on her face. She quickly proceeded to the kitchen where she found the bottle of scotch hidden behind a stack of dishes.
“What’s this?” Liz asked, holding up the bottle.
“It’s not what you think.” Max replied.
“Not a crutch, huh? You’re ‘completely sober’?.” Liz said, taking of the lid of the bottle and proceeding to pour the contents down the sink. Once she was done with that bottle she opened the wine and did the same.
“I only had a sip, just a nightcap.” Max protested.
“Just one night. All I wanted was one night without alcohol, and you couldn’t even do that.” Liz replied, beginning to collect her coat and bag to leave.
“No, please, don’t go.” Max said, barring the doorway.
“I can’t do this Max, not again. Okay, so you had something to drink – fine. But then lying about it? It’s already starting. How can we have a relationship when you can’t even be honest with me? What’ll be next?”
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. I promise I’ll stop drinking for you.”
“You need to do it for you, Max. Not for me. I can help you, but you need to want me to.”
Max was silent.
“Call me when you work out what you want.” Liz said, before pushing her way past him and out the door.
Max pressed his ear up against the door, listening for the familiar click of her apartment door opening, and then closing behind her. He let his body slide down the door to the floor, where he put his head in his hands a cried. Cried for the life he could have had, the life he had dreamt about, and the life that he could feel slowly slipping through his fingers. He knew that if he made one false move he could lose her for good, and he couldn’t bear the thought.
He could stop drinking, he knew he could. She was worth changing his life for. He just didn’t know whether he could stand another look of disappointment on her face if he had a fall. And he knew he would fall. No matter how confident he had tried to sound, promising her that he was sober, he knew he needed help. He wasn’t as strong as he had tried to tell himself, and he wouldn’t be able to do it cold turkey. He had already proved that. So when he did fall, would she be there to catch him?