The Missing Piece (CC, MATURE/ADULT accepted)

[KatnotKath]

OOC: not one of my usual, so dont know how good it'll be, but I'm giving it a go anyway...

~Maria~ (temping)

I don't know what Isabel said to Alex, but I can't help thinking there was something... I mean he might just be going to keep her company now, but he did ask me to get Max to give him a call...he wouldn't do that if there wasn't something...right...?

I shake my head, trying not to let it bother me, but can't get rid of the tension in my shoulders and I reach into my bag, frowning when I can't find my oils. Where are they...? Going over to the closet, I open it and begin to rummage around in the hopes of finding them.

I do find one, and then remember that I gave the other to Liz last time I saw her. She didn't seem too taken with the idea, but I'm sure it would help her to relax...

Shaking my head, I open up the vial I have, taking a deep sniff, and almost dropping the little bottle as I hear what sounds like a door close. "MAX?" I call out, clutching the vial in my hand as I make my way downstairs.

The keys are on the hook, so he's certainly back, but I can't see any sign of him. "MAX?"

[KatnotKath]

~Liz~

I can see that Kyle’s not convinced by my words, and I just wish I knew what to say to make him believe what I’m saying… I know he’s suspicious of Max, thinks that the whole situation is wrong, but right now I really need him…

He’s my best friend, the only one other than Max and his group that I can talk to about this.

And I need to talk to him, I do… I just wish he could be a little more understanding…

Not that I don’t understand his feelings, of course I do… And his comment about me being confused, and torn and undecided is perfectly true… Half of the time this last month I haven’t exactly been ‘certain’ about things…

That’s what happens when someone tells you something which throws everything you always believed into a spin though… Over the last month, my whole life has been thrown upside down, and I guess in some ways I’m still trying to deal with that…

I swallow and bite my lip, thinking again about what Max and I were talking about just before Kyle arrived, and wondering if it really could work… I know this is so far from being ideal that it’s just not funny, but there’s a part of me that knows I have to try…we have to try…

The question is whether this is the answer though… Certainly we can’t go on as we are, constantly struggling to find time to spend together, but is moving in together really the answer to those problems…? Answer – it might be, but it could also introduce a whole new set of problems in place of the existing ones…

Closing my eyes a moment, I hesitate about mentioning it to Kyle. I already know he’s not going to like it, and he’s most likely not going to try and hide it… At the same time though, he’s my best friend and I tell him everything…

Besides, if I’m serious, and right now I’m thinking yes, I’m going to have to tell him sometime aren’t I…? And maybe doing that with Jim there wouldn’t be the best idea…

Flexing my fingers out, and then curling them into my palm, I look down, watching, knowing that if I look at him right now I’m likely to chicken out…

Running my tongue over my lower lip nervously, I’m searching for the right words, but I don’t know if there are any… Finally, I decide simply to take the plunge, although still eering on the side of caution. “Kyle…hypothetically…what would you say if I told you I had asked Max to move in with me…” I bite my lip but continue quickly, knowing there’s something I need to clarify before he can say anything. “I mean, him sleeping on the couch, not with me…”

[isabelle]

OOC -- Used Liz slightly. Let me know if you want me to change anything...

*Kyle*

“Kyle…hypothetically…what would you say if I told you I had asked Max to move in with me…” Liz says and I turn so quickly that I nearly swerve into oncoming traffic. She couldn't have said what I thought she said. 'Hypothetically,' I think I'll have a heart attack. I mean, didn't she just say that she and Max hadn't done anything yet?

“I mean, him sleeping on the couch, not with me…”

I grip the steering wheel a little more tightly, trying to control my thoughts. The couch is better, but still, I don't really understand. Did his alien buddies kick him out of the house? Overthrow the 'throne'?

I can hardly believe that Max would even suggest such a thing to her, but then, it what he wants, isn't it? Ease into her life and then he can get what he wants... Looking at Liz and I see the fear in her eyes, not fear of him, but of me and what I'm going to say. She's scared and she needs support, not another antagonist.

I put a smile on my lips and allow some amusement into my voice. "I'd say he'd better be paying for half your rent. ... hypothetically." I can see the surprise in her eyes and I realize that I haven't done much to alleviate her fear. Maybe she just needs somebody to help her find the way to tell him 'no.' I pat her leg, reassuringly. "Sorry. I'm just a bit surprised by the idea. Is that something that you would want to do? Would that help you in any way or just him? I want you to be happy, Liz."

I can't imagine that it would help Liz at all. It'll just make things harder and more confusing for her. I'm sure it'll help Max more. I think she'd do better to find more time away from him. Having him underfoot can't help, but I'm trying to be neutral here until I understand what this is really about.

[KatnotKath]

OOC: I'll edit later, already late now though

~Liz~

Kyle’s words are almost joking in content as he says that Max should be paying half my rent in that case, but the look in his eyes doesn’t mirror that, and although he has a smile on his face, it’s not a natural one – more I get the feeling that it’s been put there for my benefit…

I’m not sure it helps much either… I’m surprised at the way he’s approached it, and grateful in the way, grateful not to have him shouting at me, or telling me I’m stupid as I might have expected thanks to earlier discussion…

But of course this is with a hypothetical suggestion at the moment, different thing maybe… I begin to chew my lip, wringing my hands in my lap, all the while still trying to work out if this is the right thing…

Max said think about it overnight, but I know he’s hoping that I’ll say yes now, and I don’t really see what other choice we have…

Kyle reaches over, patting my leg in a reassuring manner and I look up at him, trying to smile although failing miserably… He’s right, I am confused, and uncertain…I can’t continue like this, which is one of the reasons for the suggestion I made I guess…

"Sorry. I'm just a bit surprised by the idea.”

Well that’s understandable, I surprised myself in asking didn’t I…

“Is that something that you would want to do? Would that help you in any way or just him? I want you to be happy, Liz."

I sigh and shake my head as he finishes. “I don’t know Kyle…I don’t think I know anything at the moment…” Closing my eyes, I run a hand through my hair. “I just want to be able to work this out, and having to keep cancelling the dates we set up really isn’t doing that…” Shaking my head again, I bite my lip, pausing a moment as I try to collect my thoughts. “Max and I have had breakfast together, today and yesterday…he came over, and we got to spend a little time together, just talking, playing chess and scrabble…doing normal things…” I trail off and sigh. “It was good… I’ve enjoyed the time we spent, and I guess I thought that maybe him moving in would help practically with the ‘time’ issue… You know, give us a chance to really get to know one another…to spend little amounts of time which might not have been available otherwise…?” I suggest softly

[isabelle]

*Kyle*

“...I just want to be able to work this out... " she says and I clench my teeth together. She goes on to talk about the fact that Max has been over for breakfast. I guess that explains what he was doing here this morning, but still...

“It was good… I’ve enjoyed the time we spent, and I guess I thought that maybe him moving in would help practically with the ‘time’ issue… You know, give us a chance to really get to know one another…to spend little amounts of time which might not have been available otherwise…?”

"Liz... you can't be serious. This is your idea?" I see the way she starts to blush and I know she is. Damn. I only hope she hasn't mentioned it to him yet. I know he'll jump at the opportunity. Then, once he's in there, he'll start pressuring her even more. It's just not fair to Liz. She deserves so much better than to be guilted into something she's not ready for.

"Liz, you say he's not pressuring you, but you don't seem to realize that you don't have to 'work this out.' If it's not working, maybe there's a reason for it. Maybe you're not cut out to be more than friends. You may have a common ... heritage, but it takes more than that to ... I just don't want you to be hurt."

.

[KatnotKath]

~Liz~

“Liz…you can’t be serious. This is your idea…?”

I look down, avoiding his gaze and chewing my lip. I think he already knows the answer to that… It just... I shake my head mentally, just not knowing what to say or do. It’s a feeling I’m very used to at the moment, uncertainty, confusion…

When I’m around Michael, there’s nothing in the world that makes me WANT to be with Max… More like I want to run a mile from his non-verbal pushing…

On the other hand, when Michael’s not there though, it’s completely different… I still can’t say that I want to be with Max, but I can’t say I don’t want to be with him either…I just don’t know what I want…

"Liz, you say he's not pressuring you, but you don't seem to realize that you don't have to 'work this out.'”

I open my mouth, about to try and point out that ‘work this out’ doesn’t mean marry Max or be with him… Work this out just means to be able to sort out what I want, and for the first time since he got here, feel as though I know what I’m doing… Before I can say any of this though, Kyle continues.

“If it's not working, maybe there's a reason for it. Maybe you're not cut out to be more than friends. You may have a common ... heritage, but it takes more than that to ... I just don't want you to be hurt."

I sigh and nod. “I know that…” I know that he’s genuine when he says that, I know that he just wants me to be happy… He’s my friend, and he’s worried…

I just wish I would work out how to make him understand though… He’s so set in his views about Max, that I just don’t know what I can say to make him rethink… Do I want to be with Max and be the queen of another planet – I don’t know… In some ways the whole thing still seems so crazy, and yet in others I know without a doubt it’s no joke… It’s really happening, and one day, whether sooner, or later, I’m going have to make that decision…

Chewing my lip and closing my eyes, I lean back against the headrest of the seat, sighing before turning my head sideways slightly to look at Kyle. “I just need to work it out Kyle… Whether that will result in me saying yes, or no, I don’t know yet, and I guess I won’t until I can spend some more time with him…” I shake my head and pull on my hair. “I know you think it’s simple, but it’s not…I just…I don’t know…”

[isabelle]

*Kyle*

I sigh as she says the only way she'll figure it out is if she spends more time with him. Well, maybe that's true. Maybe she'll figure out that he leaves his socks on the bathroom floor, or that he's using his powers in some totally annoying way that I can't even think of since I can't do those things...

“I know you think it’s simple, but it’s not…I just…I don’t know…” Liz says. She sounds so ... lost. I feel something twist inside me, wishing I could make it better, but she's already made it clear that she's not going to listen to anything I say.

I reach over and put my hand over hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I know that, Liz," I explain gently. "It could be simple, if he would just give you a proper amount of time. Two years, at least. Then you'd be eighteen and maybe you'd be able to make sense of it."

And it wouldn't be so creepy, I add to myself. The thought her being asked to make this sort of choice at sixteen is so incredibly crazy. I makes my skin crawl... I don't really trust him at all, but I have to trust Liz. I only hope that if things really do go incredibly bad, that she'll be able to stop him...

"I suppose it would be different if you two had met each other and had felt some instant attraction and fell head-over-heels in love, but you didn't. I just don't think love is something you can make a decision about. You either have it or you don't. I could be wrong, but it really seems that right now, you don't." I shrug.

If she had been instantly in love, that would still have problems. She'd still be sixteen. But I just don't think there's anyway it's going to suddenly happen. If Max really does what he says, and keeps it all above board, then seeing each other all the time is far more likely to create more of that 'friend' feeling than love. And if he tries to force the issue ... Well, then I'll be there to help her in any way I can.

[KatnotKath]

~Liz~

“I know that, Liz…”

I look up at Kyle, managing a small smile, however weak, as he puts his hand over mine and gives it a squeeze. It’s such a small thing really, but it shows that he’s there for me, and that means more than I can ever explain…

My friendship with him has been incredibly important over the years, and I don’t honestly know what I would have done without him at times…

"It could be simple, if he would just give you a proper amount of time. Two years, at least. Then you'd be eighteen and maybe you'd be able to make sense of it."

I can’t say I agree with Kyle there – I’m not sure it would ever be simple, but I guess yeah, more time might make it easier… Max isn’t pressing me for an answer though…not once has he mentioned the amount of time they’ve been here… That’s all Michael…

He’s never come out flat and said that I’m holding them up of course – I have a feeling that Max, Maria, Alex and Isabel would have his head if he did – but it’s clear enough in what he does say…

Now at the moment there’s the argument that even if we did decide, it wouldn’t be possible to go back until we find the granolith, but one day we’re going to find it, we have to, and then our time’s going to be up…

Go with them and leave Kyle behind, or stay behind and watch them leave…? Not much of a choice is it…either way I lose something big, and at this moment in time, I honestly don’t know what my answer will be when that day comes…

Kyle goes on to talk about how we didn’t fall head over heels in love at first sight, saying that you either have it, or you don’t. Again it sounds simple the way he puts it, but it’s not… Love at first sight is a rare thing… More likely, you become friends first, and then it grows into something more…

Is that happening with Max…?

The question repeats over and over in my mind, and still I don’t have an answer… I care for him, as a friend, I like spending time with him…but will that ever be anything more than a friendship…? – I don’t know…

I look over at Kyle, not really sure how to respond to that last. In the end, I decide the best thing I can do is be honest. I shake my head and sigh. “Honestly Kyle, I don’t know… I like Max, I enjoy spending time with him…but I don’t know if there’ll ever be anything more, which is why I suggested this…” I close my eyes and lean back against the headrest. “I just wish things weren’t so complicated…”

[isabelle]

*Kyle*

I shake my head in sympathy with Liz's confusion and pain. She hasn't even told me that she's attracted to this guy. How is she going to get to 'love' if she doesn't even have a little crush on him? It just seems this whole thing is an exercise in futility, making her feel some obligation to create feelings that aren't really there.

"I'm so sorry, Liz," I tell her as I finally turn down my street. We're nearly there.

This is just so unfair to her. I keep wondering what my dad would think of this mess. Besides the whole illegal aspect of it, I wish I could talk to him. That Liz could talk to some adult. Would anyone think that you could 'make' yourself feel love for a stranger when you're not actually attracted to them? Unfortunately, we can't talk about this at all... not to anyone.

"I wish I could do more to help you. If you really think this is going to help you ..." I stop myself. No. I can't say that I think it's a good idea. I understand her logic and I know why she thinks it makes sense, but I just can't feel right about it. I know she's a capable person and I trust her, but I just don't know...

"Have you asked him yet? What did 'el presidente' say?" I ask. Who am I kidding? If she asked him, he would be packing his bags already. I wonder how much of this idea was his influence, anyway...

[KatnotKath]

~Liz~

"I wish I could do more to help you. If you really think this is going to help you ..."

Kyle breaks off and I can see that he’s still struggling with the idea. He wants to be supportive, but he’s worried that I’m going to get hurt, and I think maybe that’s one of the reasons why he’s such a good friend…

I do appreciate him talking to me like this. However much I might wish he were more open minded about Max, I’m also glad that he’s not lying to me…

I wish I could tell him how I feel – heck I wish I knew how I felt…

I’ve always wanted to feel in control of my life, and understand things… Maybe that’s why I like science, a way of understanding and making sense of the world around us… That’s why all of this is so difficult, because everything I thought I understood has been turned upside down.

"Have you asked him yet? What did 'el presidente' say?"

Kyle’s voice interrupts my thoughts, and I frown at the name he gives Max. “Don’t call him that…” Sighing, I plead softly with him before shaking my head. “H-he was surprised I was asking, and told me to think it over…” I respond first, trying to work out how to say the last without Kyle immediately jumping to conclusions.

However I put this, Kyle is going to look on it as confirmation that Max is just trying to get it off with me… He’s going to say that if he really cared about me, he’d be giving me space rather than agreeing to this plan…

The thing is he just doesn’t get the fact that this isn’t just about me… This is as much about Max as me, and about what he wants… If there’s any chance that this is going to work, we both need to want it to…

Biting down on my lip, I look up at Kyle, realising he’s still waiting and I swallow, looking down into my lap and playing with my fingers as I respond in little more than a whisper. “He thought it was a good idea though…” Trailing off, I hesitate a moment before adding, “He said to call him when I decided…”