Abandon: Dylan (AA, FF, MATURE) [COMPLETE]

[JO]

banner by nikkisue

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Roswell are the property of Twentieth Century Fox Television and Regency Productions. All original characters and concepts are the property of the author. No profit has been made from the distribution of this work of fiction.
CATEGORY: post-Departure, future fic, Pathos trilogy
RATING: MATURE, for language and sexual situations
SUMMARY: Dylan Harding discovers the truth about himself.

Author's Note: If you haven't read Pathos, Chaos or Terminus, you're going to be sort of lost (relationship confusion, whose child is that, etc.). If you'd like links to these fics, please PM me.



PART ONE

Lies. All lies.

I slam the front door behind me and sulk past Isabel and Maria Grace upstairs to my room. I’m sure they’re shocked by my behavior. I was raised to be polite, Isabel raised me to be polite. But Isabel also raised me based on lies.

The man I thought was my grandfather isn’t, and a man I don’t know is my father.

I saw him this afternoon in the park with his two kids, Maddie and Evan. They looked so happy, playing together on the swingset. He never saw me looking at them, never noticed me in the shadows. He must have forgotten me, the child he gave away. I could have had a real family with he and Livvie and their two children instead of the lies that now surround me.

I’m an intelligent person. When I graduate from West Roswell High School at the end of next month, I’ll be third in the class. Isabel told me Kyle’s grade point average was always at the other end of the spectrum, but that he would be proud of me. Then again, Isabel told me lots of things. Lies. All lies.

* * *

Maddie and Evan’s birthday party is tonight. Liz closes down the café for the evening and the entire family celebrates. I’ll see him there, my father. I want to tell Isabel that I’m not going, that I’m sick, but I won’t be a part of any more lies. There has been 17 years worth of lies on my behalf. I’ve made up my mind not to continue them. I’ve also made up my mind to find out the truth.

* * *

I follow Isabel into the café and pause beside the cash register. Isabel doesn’t notice my hesitation and continues toward the counter. That’s where Liz and Max are. I watch while they hug and kiss, happy to see each other even though they see one another almost every day. I could have been a part of that. I could have been with Liz and Max and my father…in their family.

It’s not that I don’t love Isabel. Isabel has loved me my entire life. She has taken very good care of me and supported me in every endeavor, whether it was little league football or the chess club. But Isabel isn’t my real family, my true family. We share a similar bloodline but I didn’t inherit my blue eyes from her. I didn’t inherit my healing abilities from her.

That’s when I notice him. He’s standing in the corner, staring directly at me. He almost blends into the walls, he’s that invisible. That’s something he’s learned from Max. It’s something I could have learned too, had I been given the opportunity. An assortment of children run around the café squealing, already hopped up on sugar but he’s oblivious to their noise. He’s only watching me. Does he see himself in me? Does he think I look like him? My stomach churns. I want to ask him, to confront him and accuse him of abandoning me. I feel anger coursing through my veins. I want to explode, to make him see that I’m not nothing. That I am his son.

Before I know it, he’s standing in front of me. The party is continuing around us; the only sound I hear is blood furiously pumping through my ears.

“Hi, Dylan,” he says.

My jaw twitches as I stare into the dark eyes of my father. “Hi, Jase.”

[JO]

PART TWO

“Are you okay,” he asks, moving away from the front doors of the café. He leans against the cash register and watches the children in the center of the room. I glance at him then down at my feet.

“Why do you care,” I reply before I’m able to stop myself. I hadn’t meant to give away my feelings so quickly. Something about his presence makes me unable to control myself. It’s like I’m itching to provoke him, hoping maybe the truth will slip from his mouth and explain all the lies I’ve been told.

“You know, don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“You know who I am, who we are.”

He says it so calmly, like it’s not a big deal. It is a big deal. He’s my father. How can he be so calm? Then again, he’s had 17 years to get used to seeing me, and I’ve only known for almost a week.

I heard Liz and Fallon, Lily’s daughter, talking in the café one afternoon last week. I was coming to pick up a banana crème pie for Isabel when Fallon mentioned my name. Neither of them saw me; I’d come into the café through Lily and Absalom’s apartment instead of through the front doors.

Fallon asked about me, if I could be the prophesied raissonai. We’d been working on an oral history project together which was why I’d been in Fallon’s apartment in the first place. Liz acted confused, like she didn’t know what Fallon was talking about. Fallon said she had been watching Jase, how he acted around me. She said she thought I was Jase’s son. That’s when Liz told Fallon it was true, that I was Jase’s son, her grandson.

“Why did you abandon me,” I ask, unable to keep my voice from shaking. He stares at me then nods toward the door.

“Let’s go outside.”

He’s across the street before I can catch him, on his way to the park. We walk in silence and I wait for him to make the first move. He sits on a park bench and motions for me to sit beside him.

“So it’s true,” I ask. “I’m your son.”

“You are,” he replies and I hear a little sadness in his voice. I’m surprised by that. I want him to be heartless and calculating, not someone I can instantly allow into my life. He gave me up. He abandoned me. He shouldn’t be able to affect me this way after ignoring me for 17 years.

“Do you want to know the truth? No holds barred.”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? It’s not a pretty story, Dylan. It’s not something I like talking about.”

“Tell me,” I demand though it’s probably more of a whisper. I’m trembling as he begins to talk. He tells me about a girl named Larissa Valenti and about Morgana Harding, my mother. He tells me how he and Lily were kidnapped from Liz, and how he escaped with Absalom’s help. He tells me how my mother invaded his dreams, how much he had wanted her, how he had thought he could save her from the evil within her heart.

Then he tells me how he killed her.

He tells me he searched for her, wanting to find her before she gave birth to me. He tells me how she killed Larissa Valenti, the lies she told to manipulate her victory over Larissa. He whispers Larissa’s name and there’s a reverence to it, as if he’s speaking about something so precious it doesn’t deserve to be said above a whisper. He clears his throat, and we sit in silence.

I want to be mad at him, my father. I want to shout at him and punch him until my knuckles hurt. But listening to what happened in Roswell so long ago, it makes me thankful for the relative peace I’ve grown up in.

“Isabel needed you, Dylan,” Jase says after a short eternity. “She needed to believe you were Kyle’s grandchild.”

“But Isabel had Maria Grace. Why wasn’t MG enough?”

Jase scowls, his brow wrinkles slightly. “Isabel believed Tristan would kill Kyle. It was one of her greatest fears. And it came true. Isabel had been hurt so many times, lost so many people she loved….”

“So you gave me up? For Isabel’s sake?” I wonder now if my blue eyes and fair complexion haunted my father, if my resemblance to my mother became too great a cross for him to bear.

I can’t think of anything else to say to him. I try to summon anger. I’ve spent a week being angry; the emotion should be right on the tip of my tongue but it’s not there. Instead, I feel sadness. For Isabel. For my mother. For my father.

“I did what I thought was best for you, Dylan. It probably wasn’t fair to you or to Isabel, but it was the best option I had at the time. It’s not an easy thing to understand so I wouldn’t blame you if you can’t.” He turns toward me, and I realize in that moment that while he may not have been an every day presence in my life, he’s been watching me. Watching me and loving me.

“Thank you,” I reply softly. My voice cracks and I cough quickly to cover it. He slaps me on the shoulder, laugh lines creasing around his eyes. And then I notice his smile. It’s my smile too.

[JO]

I'm sure many of you would like to see more of Dylan's life now that Jase as confessed that he is Dylan's father. Truthfully, I'd like to write more of it but I don't forsee that any time soon.

Roswell (and fanfiction) has been a big part of my life for the past 5 years. I've made a lot of wonderful friendships thanks in part to Roswell and Fanatics. Once I wrote 'The End' on Terminus, my mind just seemed to shut down for this universe.

I am writing some original work and hope for publication so for now, this is the end of Dylan's story. Check back at my website for any new parts.

Thank you again for reading and enjoying my fics. I've enjoyed writing them so very much!!

Happy Reading,

JO


And the non-Roswell characters in the banner are Jason Gedrick (Jase), the actor who portrayed Jack on Port Charles (Tristan), Kim from 24 (Morgana), and Ricky Schroeder (Dylan).