~Kyle~
The cell keeps ringing but I don’t think anyone is going to answer. When suddenly.
“Hey, need some help?”
“Oh good Buddha!” I turn quickly around to see Tess standing behind me. No wait pink hair leather. “Ava?” I ask.
One of the dupes oh great. Really this is freaking weird and I don’t even have a double out there. How bad is it for Max and the others? And Rath and Lonnie really gave me the creeps. But Ava seemed nice enough though so I smile sheepishly for over reacting and say. “Yeah truck broke down on me the stupid hunk of junk.”
The Forgotten (Adult,CC)*Zan Open*
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KatnotKath
- Roswell Fanatic
- Posts: 1130
- Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:54 am
- Location: UK
- Contact:
~LIz~
I hardly dare look at Max as I wait for his answer... I don't have any right to ask him for this really I know, but I just... I don't know how else to show him the truth... Anything I say, he can doubt because I've lied to him once, why not again... Emotions don't lie though...
Max turns his hand over, and I feel his palm lying over mine. He's hesitant, I can feel that without his words even, and I know he's right, we can't guarantee this will work...
I think for a moment that he's going to refuse, and then he agrees. "I guess we can try..."
I swallow nervously, looking up at him without saying anything... I'm so sorry it's come to this... I just wish... I shake my head inwardly, knowing that it doesn't matter... Turning my attention back to Max, I turn in my seat to face him more fully, mirroring Max's actions as he tries to prepare himself. I see him tense, and want to reach out to him, to ask what's wrong, but I know I can't...
He's trying to smile I know, but I can see it's only on the surface... Inside he's conflicted and confused, angry and upset I imagine too... I try to slow my breathing as Max puts his hands, either side of my face, and I look right back into his eyes. I try to concentrate on what happened,
hoping this might help direct the flashes to those thoughts, and then simply wait...
Images and feelings flash through my mind at what seems like lightening speed, the overwhelmingly strong one being that of hurt - hurt which I caused...
I push that to the side though, refusing to let myself be pulled in, and a moment later, as Max blinks and pulls back, he's looking at me again. "Married...we got Married...?"
He saw it... I blink, reaching up to push my hair back from my face as I look back at him, nodding silently. The lump which I felt in my throat before now feels like a rock, and I swallow, trying to get past it. "Y-yes..." I breath, confirming his words, my voice barely audiable now. I try to force a smile, but it's a weak one at best and hardly convincing. "In Vegas...can you believe that...?" I sigh and shake my head. "You have every right to hate me for what I did Max, but I did it because I truely believed it was the only way..." Hesitating a moment, I look down, not daring to look at him as I say this next. "What I said about wanting normal, about wanting to be safe...it wasn't true... I wanted you to be safe though, you, my family, my friends... I couldn't put my feelings before that safety, but I want you to know..." I trail off, beginning to think this is a big mistake but press forward anyway, realising I've already come too far to turn back now. "I...I never stopped loving you Max... I don't think I ever will..."
I hardly dare look at Max as I wait for his answer... I don't have any right to ask him for this really I know, but I just... I don't know how else to show him the truth... Anything I say, he can doubt because I've lied to him once, why not again... Emotions don't lie though...
Max turns his hand over, and I feel his palm lying over mine. He's hesitant, I can feel that without his words even, and I know he's right, we can't guarantee this will work...
I think for a moment that he's going to refuse, and then he agrees. "I guess we can try..."
I swallow nervously, looking up at him without saying anything... I'm so sorry it's come to this... I just wish... I shake my head inwardly, knowing that it doesn't matter... Turning my attention back to Max, I turn in my seat to face him more fully, mirroring Max's actions as he tries to prepare himself. I see him tense, and want to reach out to him, to ask what's wrong, but I know I can't...
He's trying to smile I know, but I can see it's only on the surface... Inside he's conflicted and confused, angry and upset I imagine too... I try to slow my breathing as Max puts his hands, either side of my face, and I look right back into his eyes. I try to concentrate on what happened,
hoping this might help direct the flashes to those thoughts, and then simply wait...
Images and feelings flash through my mind at what seems like lightening speed, the overwhelmingly strong one being that of hurt - hurt which I caused...
I push that to the side though, refusing to let myself be pulled in, and a moment later, as Max blinks and pulls back, he's looking at me again. "Married...we got Married...?"
He saw it... I blink, reaching up to push my hair back from my face as I look back at him, nodding silently. The lump which I felt in my throat before now feels like a rock, and I swallow, trying to get past it. "Y-yes..." I breath, confirming his words, my voice barely audiable now. I try to force a smile, but it's a weak one at best and hardly convincing. "In Vegas...can you believe that...?" I sigh and shake my head. "You have every right to hate me for what I did Max, but I did it because I truely believed it was the only way..." Hesitating a moment, I look down, not daring to look at him as I say this next. "What I said about wanting normal, about wanting to be safe...it wasn't true... I wanted you to be safe though, you, my family, my friends... I couldn't put my feelings before that safety, but I want you to know..." I trail off, beginning to think this is a big mistake but press forward anyway, realising I've already come too far to turn back now. "I...I never stopped loving you Max... I don't think I ever will..."
My fics:
Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!
Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!
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Athenea
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 524
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 6:07 pm
- Location: Down South
- Contact:
Ava
“Oh good Buddha!” he yells, clearly startled by my appearance. “Ava?” he asks unsure for a second. “In the flesh.” I respond
“Yeah truck broke down on me the stupid hunk of junk.” He says indicating the slightly smoking hood. I walk over and pop the hood and take a look. It takes me only a moment to find the problem and I put my had over the carburetor. I use my powers to fix the problem and the smoke disappears.
“There you go it should start up now.” I tell him.
“Oh good Buddha!” he yells, clearly startled by my appearance. “Ava?” he asks unsure for a second. “In the flesh.” I respond
“Yeah truck broke down on me the stupid hunk of junk.” He says indicating the slightly smoking hood. I walk over and pop the hood and take a look. It takes me only a moment to find the problem and I put my had over the carburetor. I use my powers to fix the problem and the smoke disappears.
“There you go it should start up now.” I tell him.
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Athenea
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 524
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 6:07 pm
- Location: Down South
- Contact:
Serena
So many thoughts shifting through her brain its hard to make out which ones are her own a which ones are the thoughts of those around her. Sometimes if she can just focus on one thing, no matter how small, it seems to help.
She moves closer to Zan and wraps her arms around his waist so she can hug him tightly. She puts her ear to his chest and focuses on his now rapid heart beat. She knows love. She’s felt it in both this life and the one before, but love can make people do and say crazy things.
She wonders if they could actually be together, without any worries about this world or the other. Just him and her forever. She closes her eyes as she listens to his heart. The heart of a king, her king. She can feel his love for her, he keeps it hidden from the others the best he can but she knows and it kills her that she can’t find away to tell him she feels the same.
“This is real.” She mumbles into his chest. All the pieces are coming together but much to slowly, she doesn’t know how much more of this she can take. Its like the alien part of her wants to take over, instead of meshing together into one. She fears that before long Serena will be lost.
So many thoughts shifting through her brain its hard to make out which ones are her own a which ones are the thoughts of those around her. Sometimes if she can just focus on one thing, no matter how small, it seems to help.
She moves closer to Zan and wraps her arms around his waist so she can hug him tightly. She puts her ear to his chest and focuses on his now rapid heart beat. She knows love. She’s felt it in both this life and the one before, but love can make people do and say crazy things.
She wonders if they could actually be together, without any worries about this world or the other. Just him and her forever. She closes her eyes as she listens to his heart. The heart of a king, her king. She can feel his love for her, he keeps it hidden from the others the best he can but she knows and it kills her that she can’t find away to tell him she feels the same.
“This is real.” She mumbles into his chest. All the pieces are coming together but much to slowly, she doesn’t know how much more of this she can take. Its like the alien part of her wants to take over, instead of meshing together into one. She fears that before long Serena will be lost.
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maougha
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 249
- Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:32 am
- Location: some where but damned if i know
~Kyle~
“Oh good Buddha!” I turn quickly around to see Tess standing behind me. No wait pink hair leather. “Ava?” I ask.
“In the flesh.” she replies.
“Yeah truck broke down on me the stupid hunk of junk.”
She walks over and pops the hood taking a quick look then waving her hand and suddenly the smoke disappears. “There you go it should start up now.” she tells me.
I look at her. “Thank you so much!” I laugh. “That damn truck has been giving me nothing but trouble for weeks now. And you know being a lowly human I can’t give it the quick alien fix.”
"so what are you doing out around?" I ask.
“Oh good Buddha!” I turn quickly around to see Tess standing behind me. No wait pink hair leather. “Ava?” I ask.
“In the flesh.” she replies.
“Yeah truck broke down on me the stupid hunk of junk.”
She walks over and pops the hood taking a quick look then waving her hand and suddenly the smoke disappears. “There you go it should start up now.” she tells me.
I look at her. “Thank you so much!” I laugh. “That damn truck has been giving me nothing but trouble for weeks now. And you know being a lowly human I can’t give it the quick alien fix.”
"so what are you doing out around?" I ask.
*Max*
I sit, listening to Liz and I don’t even know what to say. Someone who claimed to be me-from-the-future, came and told Liz to break-up with me. I saw it, but I still don’t believe it. I keep thinking about shape-shifters and mind-warps although I must admit, it certainly felt like me to her. That would rule out shape-shifter, but it could still be a mind-warp… She looks down at her hands and I turn to stare out the windshield as she goes on.
She tells me she wants me to be safe. She says she still loves me. I already knew that. I knew it when we connected earlier at the UFO center, and saw it again a few moments ago. I know she cares about me, too, although she lied about so many things. She expects me to hate her, but I can’t do that. I should, I suppose. I gave her my heart. Made myself more vulnerable to her than I have to anyone on this planet, and she took it and stomped on it, rejecting me so many times.
Still, it’s the things she doesn’t say now that hurt the most. She says she loves me. She says she wants to protect me. But she doesn’t say it was a mistake. She doesn’t say that if this hadn’t happened, then she’d want us to be together. And truthfully, she’d been doing this to me long before this time-traveler showed up. She did it after Eagle Rock, and all that time that she was working for Whitacker, and after. This explains Kyle and her hurtful lies about it, but it doesn’t explain the rest. It’s what she wanted, I can see that. She wouldn’t have been so hurtful, but I don’t see that the result is any different than what she was trying to achieve even before that. She doesn’t want me. And truthfully, she still hasn’t explained why …
“I love you, too, Liz. I think you must know that…” I’ve told her so many ways, showed her so many times. She’s felt it through our connection, I know. I told her about Tess that night in the van and she said she wanted me, wanted the destiny we’d make together, but less than a week later she changed her mind…
“I understand about Kyle and what you were trying to do then. I still don’t understand about before that. Why you don’t want to be with me. I promised I wouldn’t try to change your mind and I won’t.” Everyone’s lives depend on it now, so she says. I can’t begin to argue against that… Deliberately, I turn towards her, trying to watch her face. “But this started long before the night of the Mariachi band. Can you tell me why you don’t want to be with me?”
As soon as I ask it, I regret the question. I keep thinking that she was afraid. Afraid of me. Maybe I’d be better off just accepting that she and I aren’t going to be together, without hurting myself more by hearing her say the words…
.
I sit, listening to Liz and I don’t even know what to say. Someone who claimed to be me-from-the-future, came and told Liz to break-up with me. I saw it, but I still don’t believe it. I keep thinking about shape-shifters and mind-warps although I must admit, it certainly felt like me to her. That would rule out shape-shifter, but it could still be a mind-warp… She looks down at her hands and I turn to stare out the windshield as she goes on.
She tells me she wants me to be safe. She says she still loves me. I already knew that. I knew it when we connected earlier at the UFO center, and saw it again a few moments ago. I know she cares about me, too, although she lied about so many things. She expects me to hate her, but I can’t do that. I should, I suppose. I gave her my heart. Made myself more vulnerable to her than I have to anyone on this planet, and she took it and stomped on it, rejecting me so many times.
Still, it’s the things she doesn’t say now that hurt the most. She says she loves me. She says she wants to protect me. But she doesn’t say it was a mistake. She doesn’t say that if this hadn’t happened, then she’d want us to be together. And truthfully, she’d been doing this to me long before this time-traveler showed up. She did it after Eagle Rock, and all that time that she was working for Whitacker, and after. This explains Kyle and her hurtful lies about it, but it doesn’t explain the rest. It’s what she wanted, I can see that. She wouldn’t have been so hurtful, but I don’t see that the result is any different than what she was trying to achieve even before that. She doesn’t want me. And truthfully, she still hasn’t explained why …
“I love you, too, Liz. I think you must know that…” I’ve told her so many ways, showed her so many times. She’s felt it through our connection, I know. I told her about Tess that night in the van and she said she wanted me, wanted the destiny we’d make together, but less than a week later she changed her mind…
“I understand about Kyle and what you were trying to do then. I still don’t understand about before that. Why you don’t want to be with me. I promised I wouldn’t try to change your mind and I won’t.” Everyone’s lives depend on it now, so she says. I can’t begin to argue against that… Deliberately, I turn towards her, trying to watch her face. “But this started long before the night of the Mariachi band. Can you tell me why you don’t want to be with me?”
As soon as I ask it, I regret the question. I keep thinking that she was afraid. Afraid of me. Maybe I’d be better off just accepting that she and I aren’t going to be together, without hurting myself more by hearing her say the words…
.
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KatnotKath
- Roswell Fanatic
- Posts: 1130
- Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:54 am
- Location: UK
- Contact:
~Liz~
Max repeats the words he has used so many times before, telling me that he loves me too, and going on to say that he understands about Kyle, about what I was trying to do. His voice is so full of pain though...pain which I put there... I bite my lip, remaining silent as he goes on, asking me about 'before'. His tone almost demands an answer as he asks why, why I didn't want to be with him...
The words feel like a knife in my heart, twisting in deep. Why I didn't want to be with him... I shake my head. Looking up, it looks as though he already regrets asking, and for a moment, I consider not answering... I know I can't do that though. I can't let him continue thinking that is true, because nothing is farther from the truth...
Drawing in a ragged, deep breath, I force myself to meet his eyes, making myself look at him, showing him that I'm telling the truth. "I do want to be with you Max... More than anything... I don't think I'll ever love anyone like I do you..." I pause, taking a breath and trying to work out how to say what I need to. "I-I just stood there, in the cave, listening to your mother, and Tess was there, and she - your mother was smiling at the two of you... I got the feeling that you were happy with her before, and could be again..."
Running my hand through my hair, my head falls back against the back of the seat as tears well up in the corners of my eyes. "I was just some human girl, but she, she was your queen...how could I compete with that...? I was scared Max, not of you, but of me, of the fact that I might not have been good enough in her eyes, of the fact that I didn't deserve you..."
Looking down, I shake my head over and over, scared to look at him for fear of what he is going to say. "I'm sorry Max...I'm just so sorry..."
Max repeats the words he has used so many times before, telling me that he loves me too, and going on to say that he understands about Kyle, about what I was trying to do. His voice is so full of pain though...pain which I put there... I bite my lip, remaining silent as he goes on, asking me about 'before'. His tone almost demands an answer as he asks why, why I didn't want to be with him...
The words feel like a knife in my heart, twisting in deep. Why I didn't want to be with him... I shake my head. Looking up, it looks as though he already regrets asking, and for a moment, I consider not answering... I know I can't do that though. I can't let him continue thinking that is true, because nothing is farther from the truth...
Drawing in a ragged, deep breath, I force myself to meet his eyes, making myself look at him, showing him that I'm telling the truth. "I do want to be with you Max... More than anything... I don't think I'll ever love anyone like I do you..." I pause, taking a breath and trying to work out how to say what I need to. "I-I just stood there, in the cave, listening to your mother, and Tess was there, and she - your mother was smiling at the two of you... I got the feeling that you were happy with her before, and could be again..."
Running my hand through my hair, my head falls back against the back of the seat as tears well up in the corners of my eyes. "I was just some human girl, but she, she was your queen...how could I compete with that...? I was scared Max, not of you, but of me, of the fact that I might not have been good enough in her eyes, of the fact that I didn't deserve you..."
Looking down, I shake my head over and over, scared to look at him for fear of what he is going to say. "I'm sorry Max...I'm just so sorry..."
My fics:
Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!
Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!
*Max*
I grip the steering wheel tightly as Liz speaks. She says she did want to be with me all along. I've wanted to be with her since I first met her and now she says that she finally wanted it, too, that she does love me. It should feel good to know that. It should be wonderful to know that she wasn't ever freaked out by me ... but she pushed me away anyway...
"I-I just stood there, in the cave, listening to your mother, and Tess was there, and she - your mother was smiling at the two of you... I got the feeling that you were happy with her before, and could be again..." "I was just some human girl, but she, she was your queen...how could I compete with that...? I was scared Max, not of you, but of me, of the fact that I might not have been good enough in her eyes, of the fact that I didn't deserve you..."
I close my eyes for a moment, shaking my head. How could she say that? Couldn't she understand? Suddenly I'm not sure if it wouldn't have been easier to hear her say that she was afraid of me. Instead, she says she didn't trust me...
"I'm sorry Max...I'm just so sorry..."
"I'd already told you that Tess and I were 'supposed' to be together but that I didn't want that. That I'd chosen you to be my destiny. I told you that." I adjust my hands on the steering wheel, squeezing tighter, hoping my eyes won't betray me with the tears I feel so close to the surface.
"I guess what you're saying is that you didn't believe in my love. You didn't believe in us enough..." I shake my head again. "I guess it doesn't matter anymore."
I grip the steering wheel tightly as Liz speaks. She says she did want to be with me all along. I've wanted to be with her since I first met her and now she says that she finally wanted it, too, that she does love me. It should feel good to know that. It should be wonderful to know that she wasn't ever freaked out by me ... but she pushed me away anyway...
"I-I just stood there, in the cave, listening to your mother, and Tess was there, and she - your mother was smiling at the two of you... I got the feeling that you were happy with her before, and could be again..." "I was just some human girl, but she, she was your queen...how could I compete with that...? I was scared Max, not of you, but of me, of the fact that I might not have been good enough in her eyes, of the fact that I didn't deserve you..."
I close my eyes for a moment, shaking my head. How could she say that? Couldn't she understand? Suddenly I'm not sure if it wouldn't have been easier to hear her say that she was afraid of me. Instead, she says she didn't trust me...
"I'm sorry Max...I'm just so sorry..."
"I'd already told you that Tess and I were 'supposed' to be together but that I didn't want that. That I'd chosen you to be my destiny. I told you that." I adjust my hands on the steering wheel, squeezing tighter, hoping my eyes won't betray me with the tears I feel so close to the surface.
"I guess what you're saying is that you didn't believe in my love. You didn't believe in us enough..." I shake my head again. "I guess it doesn't matter anymore."
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KatnotKath
- Roswell Fanatic
- Posts: 1130
- Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:54 am
- Location: UK
- Contact:
OOC: hope this works, tell me if you want it changing
~LIz~
I shake my head. He's got it wrong, not that I blame him, it wasn't our love I didn't trust, that was the one thing I believed in compeletely...It was how other people would look on it. Here Max was, being told that he was supposed to be with someone because it was important to a whole planet. Here I was, listening to a woman who was apparently Max's real mother, telling him that he had to be with someone else. I was scared, and maybe I made the biggest mistake of my life in walking away that night... I know I've been paying for it ever since...
I bite my lip, hardly daring to look up now as I try once more to explain. I can't leave it with him thinking this...it's almost worse than when we started right now... "I believed in your love completely Max, I never stopped believing in that, but I hear her basically saying that 'we' weren't meant to be, and I was scared." I shake my head, knowing that I'm not explaining this well. "I believed you loved me, but if what she was saying were true, you didn't need just any girl, you needed someone who, at some time in the future, could be a queen..." I trail off, still struggling with this thought. "You see Max, suddenly, as well as being the guy I loved, you were far more, and I guess I didn't think I was good enough for you... I knew you would say it didn't matter, but I was scared that I couldn't give you what you needed... I could love you, I could be with you - it was all I wanted, more than anything else - but I was scared that I couldn't do the rest, that I couldn't be who you would need me to be..."
~LIz~
I shake my head. He's got it wrong, not that I blame him, it wasn't our love I didn't trust, that was the one thing I believed in compeletely...It was how other people would look on it. Here Max was, being told that he was supposed to be with someone because it was important to a whole planet. Here I was, listening to a woman who was apparently Max's real mother, telling him that he had to be with someone else. I was scared, and maybe I made the biggest mistake of my life in walking away that night... I know I've been paying for it ever since...
I bite my lip, hardly daring to look up now as I try once more to explain. I can't leave it with him thinking this...it's almost worse than when we started right now... "I believed in your love completely Max, I never stopped believing in that, but I hear her basically saying that 'we' weren't meant to be, and I was scared." I shake my head, knowing that I'm not explaining this well. "I believed you loved me, but if what she was saying were true, you didn't need just any girl, you needed someone who, at some time in the future, could be a queen..." I trail off, still struggling with this thought. "You see Max, suddenly, as well as being the guy I loved, you were far more, and I guess I didn't think I was good enough for you... I knew you would say it didn't matter, but I was scared that I couldn't give you what you needed... I could love you, I could be with you - it was all I wanted, more than anything else - but I was scared that I couldn't do the rest, that I couldn't be who you would need me to be..."
My fics:
Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!
Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!
*Max*
I feel myself relaxing my grip as she explains. I'm still upset about how she pushed me away but I think I understand a little bit. She wasn't ready to be a queen. How can I blame her for that? Hell, I'm not ready to be a king, either. I've been working with Tess to try to remember, but it doesn't change the fact that I'll be leaving the only world I really know in order to be responsible for billions of lives on some other planet. How much harder would that seem for Liz?
"I think I understand," I say, looking at Liz for the first time in several minutes. I release the steering wheel and inch one hand closer to hers although I don't touch her yet. "If I had a choice, I might have left, too."
I know I wanted to, even if I do feel a tremendous responsibility to this job I never asked for and I know I'm not ready for. I have a feeling I'll never be completely ready, but someday, I'll be asked to take it up anyway. If Liz were there, I know I could do anything, but I'd rather give it up than do it without Liz. ... Although I don't think I'll ever have that option. Especially now that she's told me about this time-traveller.
I can't imagine myself leaving her then, if she had been the one with the responsibility, and it still hurts that she did. That she was more afraid of that future than she was in love with me... She's the one I want. She always will be.
And it hurts so much that she pushed me at Tess. Maybe it made sense in her mind, but I'm not about to run to Tess. "Even if you're not with me, I'm not going to be with Tess, no matter what we might have been before we died. I'll be her friend, but I don't think I'll ever be anything more. Not in this life..."
Liz is the love of my life. Tess will never equal that, I'm sure...
.
I feel myself relaxing my grip as she explains. I'm still upset about how she pushed me away but I think I understand a little bit. She wasn't ready to be a queen. How can I blame her for that? Hell, I'm not ready to be a king, either. I've been working with Tess to try to remember, but it doesn't change the fact that I'll be leaving the only world I really know in order to be responsible for billions of lives on some other planet. How much harder would that seem for Liz?
"I think I understand," I say, looking at Liz for the first time in several minutes. I release the steering wheel and inch one hand closer to hers although I don't touch her yet. "If I had a choice, I might have left, too."
I know I wanted to, even if I do feel a tremendous responsibility to this job I never asked for and I know I'm not ready for. I have a feeling I'll never be completely ready, but someday, I'll be asked to take it up anyway. If Liz were there, I know I could do anything, but I'd rather give it up than do it without Liz. ... Although I don't think I'll ever have that option. Especially now that she's told me about this time-traveller.
I can't imagine myself leaving her then, if she had been the one with the responsibility, and it still hurts that she did. That she was more afraid of that future than she was in love with me... She's the one I want. She always will be.
And it hurts so much that she pushed me at Tess. Maybe it made sense in her mind, but I'm not about to run to Tess. "Even if you're not with me, I'm not going to be with Tess, no matter what we might have been before we died. I'll be her friend, but I don't think I'll ever be anything more. Not in this life..."
Liz is the love of my life. Tess will never equal that, I'm sure...
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Last edited by isabelle on Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.