Waiting for Someone Else (Mature/Tag) Epilogue 10/19/05

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Title: Waiting for Someone Else
Author: To_Kiss_A_Frog
Rating: Mature
Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize
Summary:Tag fic to Fixing What Destiny Broke though you don't need to have read it in order to understand thtis fic. Takes place after Meet the Dupes and explains Ava's comment about Zan waiting for someone else to walk into his life.



A/N: Just a quick note to say that I have this fic mostly written because it was something I started a long time ago, (when I was still a lurker) and never found the right time to post. Also, so they're is no confusion, the first chapter is entirely one big flashback. Hope you enjoy

Chapter 1

After two years of official courting, I finally went to King Jayson of Kyros and asked for Princess Ava’s hand in marriage. The purpose of tonight’s party was to announce our engagement to the people of our two planets and while it hadn’t been the reason, a bonus from our union would be a cemented alliance between our worlds.

“The Crowned Prince Zander of the Royal House of Antar, escorted by his majesty, King Haladrin of Antar, Queen Valora of Antar and Princess Villandra of the Royal House of Antar” the Royal Herald announces to all the awaiting guests.

Once we make it to the bottom of the long marble staircase, the four of us split up. We each have various friends and acquaintances to mingle or socialize with. It’s a tedious task but something we, as royalty, must do. “Hello there, Zander” a strong voice from my left greets.

“General Donar” I nod slightly in a sign of respect for the man who has been my father’s second in command and general of our armies since before I was born. “I hope you are well” I say to him.

“Very” he agrees. “In fact, I’m very pleased to announce that my daughter is back from the Halston Barracks” he tells me and the smile he wears now is rare, though I can understand why he’d be happy.

I remember all too well the day the general sent his daughter away to be looked after by Sero, the crowned prince of Livius. I remember it so well because it was the day after the general’s wife died. Ten years ago she got sick with some sort of virus which she contracted on her trip to Elpis. Unfortunately, the sickness was one that couldn’t be healed because of the chance of possibly infecting someone else through a formed connection.

His daughter, I remember, had only been eight years old at the time and truthfully, I had been appalled that the general sent her away, claiming that it was for the best. I had always known the truth though, not the tale he told everyone else. Despite my own age, I knew that even in her early years, with long, wavy auburn hair and the strangest looking whiskey colored eyes, his daughter had been the spitting image of her mother and it was more than even the tough general could handle.

“In fact, there she is now with her brother” he says and waves the two over.

Lord Rath and I are have been good friends for a long time, having grown up together all our lives. I am also more than aware that when it’s my turn to wear the crown, Rath will also take his father’s place as general of the armies.

“Zander” Rath acknowledges though from the moment he walked up, my attention remained solely focused on the girl I hadn’t seen in eleven years. The girl who had grown up into a beautiful Lady in her absence.

“Your highness” she bows accordingly.

“Lady Reagan” I return, just as politely. “I would be honored if you would join me for a dance” I invite and extend my hand for her to take.

“Excuse me father, Rath” she says, respectfully, before allowing me to lead her through the dancing couples. “Allow me to offer my congratulations on your engagement your highness. I look forward to meeting your fiancée.”

“Had it not been for your eyes, I may not have recognized you. You’ve changed so much over the years” I admit to her and push thoughts of Ava to the back of my mind… at least for now. In this moment, I just want to dance with this girl whose entire presence makes me want to hold her close and never let go. How could someone so small hold so much power?

“Yes well… ten years has a way of changing an eight year old into an eighteen year old” she smiles, teasingly and there it is, a trace of the youthful and sweet girl I last remembered. “So tell me, your highness. Did you plan for us to dance or just watch the others while they do?” she asks and her eyes twinkle in amusement.

It’s now that I notice we are merely standing, holding onto each other but strangely enough, neither one of us is moving.


~&~&~&~&~&


“My Lady” I call out and quickly throw up my shield as her surprise causes her to throw out a wild blast in my direction. “Remind me to never battle with you” I tease and allow my protective green to fall. “What are you doing so far away from the training fields?” I ask as I come towards her.

“Lord Pain in the Ass said I’m not allowed” she replies, causing me to smile at one of the names she uses for Rath.

“I suppose he’s just worried about you getting hurt out there” I try to pacify but the fire in her eyes tells me it won’t be as easy as telling her a few sweet words. “Ladies generally don’t get out to the field and spar against the soldiers” I point out, instead.

“I may be a lady but I’m also a warrior’s daughter with warrior abilities that rival those of my brother” she points out, reminding me of where she has been and what she did there.

After Lady Akira’s death, General Donar sent her to Sero, a distant relative of Akira. While under his watch, he taught her to fight like a warrior as well as war survival skills… or so I heard from my father. A few years later, when she became of age to train, Sero sent her to the barracks where she learned to become a pilot. Currently, she has yet to take her Captain’s test with our flight instructor though I have no doubt that the beauty before me will pass with flying colors.

Unfortunately, the men believe that while a woman can pilot a plane, she cannot fight a battle. I’m not inclined to agree or disagree as I feel it depends on the person, however, there is something about the glint in her eyes that tells me Lady Reagan would be a formidable competitor in any fighting instance.

“Alright then my lady, I revoke my earlier statement and challenge you to a battle” I tell her, deciding it’s about time I see exactly what she can and cannot do. Now, she watches me, seeming uneasy as I remove my cloak. I assume she’s waiting for the punch line to whatever joke she believes I’m playing “Don’t tell me the warrior princess of afraid of battling” I goad her, knowing that she won’t sit back and let me talk to her that way, no matter who I am.

“I do not fear you, your highness, I fear for you” she corrects before following my lead and removing her cloak. The action reveals a long dress with a big, full skirt. Her required attire will most likely put her at a disadvantage, however, she agreed and a deal is a deal.

We stand before each other, bowing respectfully before stepping back five paces. Before I can even blink, she throws her hand out and sends out a surge of energy so strong, it knocks me off my feet. Shaking my head lightly to ward of the ach I’m starting to feel, I retaliate by shooting a blast her way and wonder, belatedly, if she has the ability to produce a shield.

We fight for what seems like hours, countering every move the other makes. It would seem that I underestimated her and now, I’m paying dearly for that mistake. Finally, my last assault is a strong energy blast that I watch make its way towards Reagan. She raises her hand to block it, or so I think, at least until she sends it flying back at me.

Unable to produce an adequate enough shield in time, I am once again knocked off my feet, unable to move as she puts a force over me.

“I win” she says, victoriously, before letting me up. The both of us are sweaty and dirty from the strenuous fighting and all the times each of us hit the ground but it doesn’t really matter. We both had fun, even if she did earn the right to brag.

“You wouldn’t tell anyone about this, would you?” I ask.

“Of course not, your highness” she replies with a friendly smile. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t rub your nose in it every time I see you” she adds as her smile turns into a pleased smirk.

For whatever reason, in this instant, I got the overwhelming need to put my lips against her and kiss that smirk away. It’s the wrong kind of thought to have, I’m engaged to marry Princess Ava in ten month’s time. I love her, but then why do I lean in to take Reagan’s mouth?


~&~&~&~&~&


“This needs to stop, Zan. You’re engaged to marry someone else and I’m the one that’s going to end up hurt when that happens.” Reagan turns away from and I know it’s because she doesn’t want me to see the tears in her eyes. How can my heart be so full and break at the same time? How did I let it get this far?

“I know that the last six months have been… inappropriate, considering my engagement, but I can’t stay away from you, Reagan… not when it tears me apart every time I have to walk away” I tell her, pleading her to understand why I need this… why I need her so much. I know that what we are doing is wrong. I made a deal with King Jayson. I made an agreement to marry his daughter and mostly, I made a promise to Ava but how can I hold true to any of that when the only truth thing in my life is the love I feel when Reagan is near me?

“It hurts me too, Zan, but it’ll hurt a lot less to see you marry Princess Ava if we stop now, rather than later. As it is, I can hardly bare the thought. Please do not make this any more difficult” she beseeches me and the pain I see in her eyes nearly breaks me. “You have to let me go, we have to let go of each other” she says. Her voice is firm but it’s unsteady and that is how I know that she doesn’t mean what she says. She can’t let go of me any more than I can of her.

“My love, please have faith in me. Please give me the chance to make this right between us” I beg. I may be the Prince, the future king, but I will bow down to this woman and beg her to hold on to me.

“What are you talking about Zan?” she asks and finally turns her sad eyes to mine.

“I’m talking about going to my father” I reply and cup her face in the palms of my hands. I don’t even think about the gesture because it’s seems natural. I’m just unable to be so close and not touch her. “I’ll go to him, ask to break my betrothal to Ava. I cannot marry her, not now, not when every feeling I have ever felt towards her is completely overshadowed with the overwhelming love I feel for you” I confess.

In her heart, she knows it’s the truth. She knows that she is my everything.

“King Haladrin will never allow it, especially not now that Kivar is causing so much trouble for Antar. Our planet needs the alliance with Kyros and there is no way he’ll let you go back on your agreement” Regan states with too much certainty. Truthfully, deep down, I know she’s right and that my father would never let me break my engagement. We are at a stand still. I can’t go back to Ava but I also can’t move forward with Reagan. “You will marry Ava and after the wedding, I’ll return to the barracks and take my flight orders from Sero.”

“No” I quickly deny. “You can’t leave” I shake my head, unable to let her leave me like that.

“What would you have me do? Become your mistress… allow you into my bed for an hour a night before you return to hers?!” she yells at me. I know it’s selfish, but how can I let her go completely? How can I let her go when she is such a huge part of me?

“I love you” is all I can say and as she leans into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Her voice is devoid of anger as I hear her whisper, “And I love you.” For now, it has to be enough.


~&~&~&~&~&


“Zander, what are you doing here?” she asks, sleepily, as she leans up from her bed.

“I place a silencing finger on her lips and my desire flares as she presses a gentle kiss against it. I had to see her. Tomorrow I will marry Ava but tonight I still belonged to Reagan and I wasn’t going to waste a moment of my time with her.

It’s as if she feels the way I do and when we make love, it’s fast and hard, claiming each other as our own. Then hours later, it’s slow and lazy, deliberate as though we are branding our souls together. I want her to always be mine. I want to always be hers but I know it’s impossible. I can’t form a bond with her, it would compromise her after my marriage to Ava. I’m unable to bear that this is our last time together so I lower my hand to her left hip and place my mark, the Royal Seal of Antar.

We may be separated, but now she will always carry a piece of me with her.

When it’s time to leave in the morning, it’s with great regret that I can’t change things… that I can’t give her what she wants. As she sleeps, I pull the ring off my right hand. The ring bares the same seal I marked her with, representing my future as king of Antar, and place it on Reagan’s left ring finger. With one final kiss against her lips, I sneak out the way I came in before she, or anyone else in the palace, has a chance to wake.


~&~&~&~&~&


“Reagan, you have to go, it’s too dangerous for you to stay here now” I declare but her stubborn attitude is not the deterred and I know I’m in for a hell of a fight.

“I can take care of myself just as well as any of the others can” she argues. “I am going to stay and take my flights. I refuse to skulk away and hide out while you and Rath could be in danger.”

“Please, just go back to the barracks or even to Livius where Sero can protect you while I cannot.” I know she wants to say something else but I have two options and I’d I’ll use them both if I have to. “I love you Reagan. I couldn’t bare it if anything happened to you. Please, I’m begging you now. Go to Livius while you can still fly out.”

“I love you too, Zan, but I refuse” she shakes her head, prepared to walk away from me when in a desperate effort to get her to comply, I yell out the one thing that I know, without a doubt, will make her go.

“Then do it for him.”

“Who are you talking about” she asks me. I lower my hand to her stomach and connect with the child growing in her womb. The child we created the night before my wedding a month ago. “Are you telling me that I’m…” she trails off as tears begin to fall from her eyes.

“Yes, my love, we created a life and he’s going to need your protection. Promise me that you’ll do what’s best from him and go to Sero” I plead, not caring that as the current king, the ruler of everyone, I should be giving orders, not begging for someone to follow my request. I don’t care because my first priority is and will always be the woman before me. “Promise me.”

“I promise” she vows, solemnly. Her tears begin to fall freely as she holds her arms around her middle.

With no time left, I reach around her neck and pull out the chain she always wears, the chain that held the ring I had given her. Holding it in my palm, I nudge her forward until we are only inches apart. “I never knew what love was before. I’ve only ever loved you, remember that and know that it will never change. My soul is yours” I lean in and kiss her, knowing it was a risk but beyond the point of caring.

“And my soul is yours” she says, taking my hand to place over her hip. There would be no way for her to feel it otherwise, but she knows that I never consummated my marriage to Ava. I couldn’t. It would have felt too much like a betrayal.

I walk away then, I had to or I would never have let her go. “Zan” she calls to me and it was with a heavy heart that I turn. “This isn’t the end, you know. We’ll se each other again” she promises and then it is she who is walking away and I am the one watching with silent tears falling from my own eyes.


~&~&~&~&~&


Reagan!

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Thanks Chione, La'Shon and linliz68 for the feedback. Lines taken from 'Meet the Dupes' P.S. I'm using a different banner so check it out

Chapter 2

As the last vestiges of a forgotten memory faded away, Zan shot up into a sitting position on his bed. He looked around him, disoriented and trying to make sense of the series of dreams he had just had. The same dreams he had been having every night for the last two weeks.

“Zan?” Ava asked as she poked her head into his room. “You a’ight? I heard you yellin’ again”

“What do you mean again?” he asked and snapped his eyes shut. Desperately, he tried to recall something… anything, but found nothing but darkness and blank remembrances.

“The last couple nights, I woke up and heard you yelling something” Ava shrugged and seemed to be contemplating something before finally adding, “You wanna talk about it?”

“No, just leave me alone” Zan declined, careful to keep his gaze away from hers as he knew there would be nothing but hurt in her eyes from his rejection. In truth, he never wanted to hurt her. She had never been anything but supportive and understanding towards him, but the love she wanted him to return just wasn’t there. No amount of wishing on her part could change that.


~&~&~&~&~&


“Hey, what’s up girl?” asked some random guy, not in the least bit worried about hiding the way he checked out Lonnie… not that Rath and Zan believed she couldn’t handle herself if she needed to.

“Sup?” Lonnie asked back.

“Yo, you look good”

“She knows it… hey yo, give me the rock G” Rath demanded, holding his hands out. Turning it over a few times first, the four began to walk away while Rath tossed it up in the air as they went.

“Hey yo… my man… my ball”

“Contacted us again last night. Same invite. We gotta tell em something” Rath declared, ignoring the guy behind them.

“Tell em no” Zan said simply with the arrogance of someone who knew he was in charge. They could question his decisions all they wanted but in the end, they knew just as well as he did, that his word would be the final one.

“Yo, you saying we ain’t going to the summit?” Lonnie questioned while Zan sighed, aware that she and Rath were most likely going to argue and push like they had the first time. He didn’t understand why they didn’t realize what a bad idea the Summit was.

“That’s what I’m saying”

“Yo that’s messed up duke. This is the only time we’ve ever been contacted” Rath argued on cue.

“Whatever. That’s it” Zan stated as he briefly glanced left and right. There was something in the air… an excess of energy, maybe.

“We tell em no, they won’t ask us again” Ava pointed out.

“Hell no then” Zan repeated, frustrated that they couldn’t just drop the issue.

“Hey, what’s up with you man? I’m tired of you, I’ll go by myself then” Rath challenged and it was enough to finally get to Zan. Schooling his features, he wore a hard look as he stepped up to his second.

“They don’t want the number two, they want the royal four” Zan stated, seemingly amused that Rath believed he could pull off a meeting with the council on his own.

“Why don’t we go and see what they gotta say, why don’t we go and get the answers?” Rath persisted, still unwilling to back down when there was a shot they could get out of the city and back to a planet they had once ruled.

“And what if it’s a setup?” Zan fired back.

“No, it’s not a setup, they need us” Rath declared, wildly.

“I’m the man” Zan stated as he stared his friend down. “Don’t forget.” Neither spoke as they locked gazes in a battle of wills. Rath believed they had finally found their answer but Zan disagreed and refused to walk into a trap, no matter what the majority wanted.

“Yo… guys, it’s been a mad long day, let’s just chill” Lonnie intervened when neither backed down.

“Yeah… you the man” Rath conceded and raised his hands in defeat.


~&~&~&~&~&


“Where am I?” Zan asked when the throbbing in his head prevented him from opening his eyes completely. “Fuck” he groaned and brought a hand up to shield his face from the light in the room.

“You’ve been out cold for a half week’s worth of days and nights and the first thing you say to me is, Fuck” a voice… a familiar voice, said from somewhere beside him. Where had he heard that voice before? A better question was why did the amused timber make him feel like he could just close his eyes, go back to sleep and not worry about anything going on around him?

“Who are you?” he asked then and forced his eyes to remain open.

Understanding the problem, he watched her lift her hand and dim all the lights. “I’m a friend and I’m here to help you” she replied though offered no further elaboration. In vain, Zan tried to see her face but with his eyes so sensitive and the lack of light in the room, he couldn’t make out anything besides her shape.

“Then at least tell me what happened to me” he demanded, sounding harsher than he intended. “Tell me how I ended up here with you.”

“Well… do you remember being on the street with your… family?” she asked, a slight hesitation audible in her voice before calling them that. The words, however, were enough to bring back a rush of images and memories. Swearing loudly, he recalled with complete clarity, what they had done. He remembered his argument with Rath and then how he was pushed into oncoming traffic but that was where the memories stopped and everything past it was just… blank. “Come on” she said and moved to help him into a sitting position. “If you can stand, I’ll help you to the kitchen and make you something to eat” she offered.

As though her words were all his stomach needed to come alive, it growled slightly in protest of being empty for the last several days.

He didn’t recognize where he was and let her lead him through the large studio apartment. The kitchen was where she walked straight towards and helped deposit him on one of the wooden chairs that rested in front of a small, oak dining table. It was then, that he realized his eyes no longer hurt and taking advantage of that fact, Zan turned to look at the girl who began cooking something on the stove.

She was petite with long legs, soft curves and a thin waist that led up to perky breasts. Her long, auburn hair was pulled up into a lose ponytail but her face remained hidden by the angle she stood in and the shadows that surrounded her. “So you’re one of us” he commented as though they were old friends, belatedly wondering if maybe they were. “S’that mean you’re a skin?” he asked and took notice of the way she instantly stiffened at the question.

“No” she stated darkly. “I’m not one of… them.”

“Then who are you?” Zan asked again, hoping that her temporary bout of anger would cause her to answer the question this time.

“A friend… someone you once knew” she replied simply. The sadness in her eyes as she finally faced him, astounded Zan while belling the indifference her tone held. He met her stare head on and as their gazes locked, Zan felt an unfamiliar pull deep within him. He was unsure of what it meant and quickly shook his head to clear away the fog that had enveloped his brain.

“At least tell me your name” Zan stated though his voice lacked the usual firmness he often took with Lonnie, Rath and Ava. He wasn’t sure why, but for whatever reason, it didn’t feel right trying to order her around.

“Here” she offered and placed a ceramic plate in front of him. He barely noticed the grilled chicken and vegetables as she pulled the second chair out and sat down across from him. “I’ll tell you my name, but first, I just want to know what you remember about your past life” she replied, seemingly curious and less upset than she had been only moments before.

“The basics” Zan shrugged. “I know I was the king, Rath was supposed to be my second, Lonnie my sister and Ava my wife. I know I come from Antar and that Nicolas, the skins and Kivar are my enemies. Anymore than that just ain’t there.”

“Okay” she replied with a slight nod of acknowledgement. “My name’s Reagan. I was a pilot… a captain in the Antarian Army and Rath’s sister, among other things” she finally admitted. Quietly, Zan listened to the few details she would reveal to him and struggled to remember where he knew her words from.

“So how long ago did they send you back here?” Zan questioned as his frustration began grate on his nerves.

“Twenty one years ago” she replied, quietly. “I had a pod that I emerged from eleven years ago. I had a protector but he was killed by the skins last year” Reagan explained and was unprepared for the anger that flared in his eyes at the admission.

“If you’ve been here that long, how come you’re just coming to me now?” he demanded. “How come your protector didn’t try to help us?!” Zan was angry, that much was apparent as he looked around her nice apartment and thought back to where he and his four square grew up.

“My protector did not have a loyalty to Antar, he had a loyalty to me. He was meant to stay with me until I was of age or until he died” she automatically fired back. “The reason I didn’t come to you sooner was because I didn’t know where you were.”

“Bullshit” Zan countered as the air heated and sizzled around them. Neither noticed, both oblivious to anything but their own ire. “If you didn’t know where I was, how did you find me now?” he questioned, watching as she rose from her seat and firmly planted her hands against the wooden table. As she attempted to stare him down, he noticed that the glint in her eyes was angered… she was barely grasping onto her temper and something about her forced control seemed familiar.

Frustration eventually prevailed as he failed to remember why she seemed so familiar to him. It couldn’t just be because of her family ties to Rath. The two looked and acted completely different from one another. Then there were the hints of recognition that briefly flitted around his mind whenever she met his gaze or schooled her features into certain expressions.

“Listen, I had no clue where you were or what you were doing. It was only a couple weeks ago that I started getting dreams… glimpses into your life” Reagan stated, thoroughly surprising him, once more. “It took me a while but I pieced everything together until I figured out where you were and then I came to you as soon as I could” she spat with enough venom to impress Zan. He focused on that, on her anger, rather than her mention of the dreams.

There was a connection, there had to be but Zan had no idea what it was yet and wasn’t quite prepared to deal with it’s ramifications if there was a link to the two instances.

In self defense… or maybe it was self preservation, Zan stood and leaned his hands down on the table to mimic her position. “Were you always such a fucking firecracker?” he questioned , unsure of where that particular name came from and watched her eyes widen. It was brief, almost imperceptible, but he glimpsed it just before she schooled them. It wasn’t soon enough and in a moment’s notice, the world faded out while images… memories of the past, replaced the present.

I bend down to retrieve her cloak and hand it back to her when a noise from the beyond trees alerts us both that someone is walking towards us. Instinctively, I push her behind me and hold out my hand in a defensive position. I’m ready to blast when instead, it’s Rath that materializes. “Is everything alright, your highness” he asks me. “I heard the sound of blasts on my way back from the training field” he offers as an explanation.

“Everything’s fine” I assure. “Your sister and I were just sparring” I tell him and watch as surprise registers on his face.

“With all do respect, your highness, why would you do that for? If you want competition, I can set up a match for you down at the field with some of the soldiers” he offers which elicits a very indignant huff behind me.

“For your information, Lord Asshole, I can beat any of those guys at your precious camp. Including you” she angrily spats at him.

Something about the way he laughs at her makes me angry and gives me the overwhelming desire to defend her. It’s strange, especially since I’m aware that she can easily defend herself. “Quite the little firecracker isn’t she, but I’d take her seriously if I were. She’s quite good” I tell him and watch as the skepticism still refuses to leave his face, even after my admission.

“Alright Lady Big Mouth, let’s go” Rath challenges.

“With pleasure” she returns. “Your highness” she bows towards me just as she normally would before handing me her cloak. I take a few steps away from the two siblings and ready myself for an interesting fight.

His head swam with dizziness as the last of the vision subsided, leaving him with only a few broken pieces to a story he obviously knew. “Zan” he heard her call out just before she took hold of his arm in a gesture meant to steady his swaying body. A little rougher than necessary, he felt her push him back down onto the chair just as his vision cleared.

“What the fuck was that?” he asked and lightly rubbed his head to dim the lingering, dull pain.

“Block your mind” she stated, effectively evading his question.

“What?”

“Block your mind so we don’t form a connection and I’ll heal you” she explained and didn’t wait for him to ask anything else before she placed her hand behind his head and pushed a small burst of healing energy into him. It mingled with the pain and dominated until the ache began to subside. “Does it hurt anywhere else?” she quietly asked and didn’t appear to notice that her hand had drifted down to rest on his bare shoulder.

“No” he replied, shaking his head once and was glad to find there were no lingering traces of pain. “So you’re a healer too?” he asked though it sounded more like a statement than question.

“All warriors can heal minor aches and pains” Reagan shrugged with an air of flippancy that had previously been absent. “I can’t mend bones or cure illness like a true healer… like you can” she explained before she began to fidget under his intense stare. “Listen, I’m pretty tired so I’m just gonna get some sleep and I’ll try to answer a few more questions tomorrow” she stated and began to walk away.

“You ain’t gotta sleep on your couch” Zan called out when he realized she was heading to her living room instead of the bedroom. “It’s your place. I can take the couch. Hell, I could even sleep on the floor. It don’t matter much to me.”

“Thanks, but I’m not the one that got hurt” Reagan replied and softened her words with a small smile. “Feel free to eat or drink whatever you can find and… I’ll see you in the morning. Night Zan” she stated and once again, didn’t wait for his reply before she ambled off.

“Night” he returned, just barely above a whisper that he was positive she couldn’t hear. He would have been surprised if she told him that she had.

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Hello everyone! Thanks, Shelly, Eve, Lindsay, La'Shon, Jason's Lover, Chione and maxandlizforever for the great feedback.

Is this the girl that he was in love with in that memory/flashback in chapter 1??

Yep, she's the same one

is Reagan Liz's Dupe?

I wouldn't exactly say that she's Liz's dupe but they have similar qualities which appealed to Zan in their past life and appealed to Max (with Liz) in this one.

Chapter 3

“Hey, what’s up with you man? I’m tired of you, I’ll go by myself then” Rath challenges and it’s enough to finally get to me. With schooled features, it’s a hard look I give him as I step up to my second.

“They don’t want the number two, they want the royal four” I state and pretend to look amused that Rath believes he could pull off a meeting with the council on his own.

“Why don’t we go and see what they gotta say, why don’t we go and get the answers?” Rath persists, still unwilling to back down while he believes that there’s a shot we can get out of the city and back to a planet he had once helped me rule.

“And what if it’s a setup?” I fire back.

“No, it’s not a setup, they need us” Rath declares with a wild glint in his eye.

“I’m the man” I state as I stare my old friend down. “Don’t forget.” Neither one of us speaks as we lock gazes in a battle of wills. Rath believes he has finally found the answer to all our problems but I disagree and I refuse to walk into a trap, no matter what the majority wants.

“Yo… guys, it’s been a mad long day, let’s just chill” Lonnie intervenes when neither of us back down.

“Yeah… you the man” Rath finally concedes and raises his hands in defeat.

After reliving it all over again, he decided that he needed to know exactly what happened. Slowly, Zan slipped out of bed and held onto the nearest, sturdy object when a small wave of dizziness washed over him. Carefully, he made his way to the living room and dropped himself down on the couch beside a sleeping Reagan.

A desire to sit and study her features quickly assaulted him as his eyes focused in the darkness and settled on her face. She was beautiful and looked so innocent now that the defiant glints and cool looks were absent. With that in mind, he shook his head to dispel those thoughts and began to nudge her arm, hoping to rouse her from the deep sleep she seemed to be in.

With eyes closed, she spoke to him, “You should be resting, not roaming the apartment.” A quiet groan fell from her lips as Zan persistently continued to nudge her awake. “Damn it” she swore and pulled herself up until she was sitting, leaning against the padded arm rest. “What do you want?” she demanded, irritated, which was what Zan needed just then.

“To know how you saved me that night” he stated. “Please” he then added and turned his eyes on hers when it looked as though she had another couple of protests in her.

Reluctantly, Reagan shifted so that they could both sit comfortably and with an aggravated expression, she gave him his answers.

“I told you that I started having dreams” she reminded with a voice no louder than a whisper. Maybe it was the surrounding darkness or the late hour, but for whatever reason, it seemed appropriate. “It was really just one dream but I could only remember pieces of it when I woke up so it always seemed like several different ones. I tried memory retrieval techniques, I tried to sleep more… longer than usual. I just did everything I could until I was finally able to get a clear picture.”

“What’d the picture look like?” Zan queried as he stared out the window, watching a precarious cat try to walk the fire escape ledge. He focused on the beams the moon shone into the room, bathing it with a quiet, ethereal glow. Briefly, an image flashed in his mind but as soon as it arrived, it returned to wherever it came from. An image of two bright moons remained but it was indistinct and possibly not his own.

“A fruit vendor… a guy with a basketball… street lamps and traffic” Reagan stated and closed her eyes in remembrance. Zan watched as a brief shudder wracked her body and he assumed she remembered what he couldn’t. “There was a subway sign… Canal Street. It was night… dark, but there wasn’t much more than that to go on.”

“But why?” Zan questioned as he played her words over and again in his mind. “Why me? Is it cuz I’m the king or… or something else?” he asked, unsure of whether or not he wanted the answer.

On some level, he acknowledged that there was more to Reagan than she was letting on. She knew more…remembered more and he wondered if that had anything to do with him or if it was just a strange side effect from the way she had been podded. “I can’t explain it” she stated, cutting through his musings. “There’s so much that you don’t know yet… so much that you might not even want to know. For now, just… just please give it time?” she beseeched and while it wasn’t in Zan’s nature to succumb to other people’s demands, he was inclined to listen to her. It struck him as strange but he didn’t dwell on it.

“A’ight, I’ll wait” he agreed. “But I’m gonna find out what you’re hiding. One way or another” Zan vowed and with one last glance, he rose from the couch and carefully returned to her bedroom.

Reagan waited until he was completely out of earshot before whispering, “I’m hiding another life.”


~&~&~&~&~&


The sun was already out, high in the sky by the time Zan woke up the next day. Fortunately, the pain and dizziness that plagued him the night before were completely absent. Rising, a quick stretch alleviated the stiffness his muscles felt from having been inactive for so long. Briefly, he wondered what day it was, realizing that he had no idea how long it had been since the night he was almost killed.

That thought alone was enough to bring anger bubbling to the surface. He still had a lot of questions to ask and if it took the whole day to do it, he vowed to himself that he would get each and every answer.

“You just woke up and you’re already scowling” Reagan commented as she breezed into the room to deposit a small stack of clothes. “I went out this morning” she continued after several quiet moments. “Picked up some things for you to wear. They’re clean towels in the bathroom and a toothbrush by the sink. You’re welcome to use whatever you like” she offered and prepared to walk away when his hand on her arm halted her in place.

“You still have questions to answer” Zan stated, wearing the same hard look that appeared to permanently be etched on his features since waking up.

Pointedly, Reagan glanced down at his hand before raising her eyes to meet his in defiance.

“You are leaving and that’s final!”

“Sorry, General Big Mouth, but your word is not final. You command the ground troops, not the air ones which means that you have no authority sending me away” Reagan counters, defiant as ever as she stares her brother down. She’s not intimidated by the substantial height or weight he has over her but then again, when has anything ever intimidated her?

“Damn it, Reagan, you’re my sister. I don’t want to see you get hurt” Rath yells back. “Go to Livius and let Sero watch over you. Willing or not, I don’t care, the point is that you are going and that is final” he states, watching as her eyes flare dangerously. Fire swims in the beautiful, pools of whiskey as she lets her anger show.

“I’m as strong as you are and I have just as good of a chance, if not better, than any one of your soldiers. You will not send me away like some child and if you try, you won’t have to worry about Kivar. He’ll be a walk in the park compared to what I’m capable of” she declares with more anger than I’d like to see. She’s willing him to defy her but doesn’t wait for it to happen before she turns to walk out.

“Reagan…” he says and begins to go after her when I decide it’s time to intervene and place a restraining hand on his shoulder.

“No… let me go” I offer and see him nod once before I hurry to catch her out in the hallway. I would have argued back at him but I’m glad I didn’t have to. The truth is that I’m the only one who stands a chance at getting her to leave. She has to go because there are certain things that she isn’t yet aware of. However, I have no doubt in mind that she will listen to reason once I tell her about the knowledge I currently hold.

“I am well aware of what needs to be done” she stated and stepped away from his grasp. Zan, dazed from the flash, didn’t protest.

His eyes closed of their own volition and for the first time in weeks, he was able to hold on to a small piece of the memory even after the images had dissolved.

A sense of admiration towards her invaded his senses. His past self had held her in high regard. He had cared for her…worried about her though the reason for those feelings still managed to evade him. Now, more than ever, he believed there was much more to her past… to their past, than she was revealing.

Pushing her for answers was obviously out of the question. While she had seemed saddened the night before, vulnerable even, it was apparent that she held no fear towards him. Her strong will would keep walls up between them for as long as she deemed necessary which was unacceptable to Zan. He believed there had to be some way to get the truth out of her, he just needed to find it first.

With that in mind, he gathered the pile of clothes she left behind for him and walked into the adjoining bathroom. Immediately, his senses were assaulted by the feminine scent permeating the room. Fresh fruit… coconut and mango… it was faint but surrounded him just as it had the night before when her body sat close to his.

Quickly discarding his clothes, he pulled the frosted, glass door away and stepped beneath the hot spray. With his hands leaning against the tiled wall, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of warm water pelting his skin. Just as the lingering traces of gel rinsed out of his hair and the faint hint of dirt and street smog washed away from his body, he allowed the soothing shower to clear his mind.

Zan stood, unmoving, until the water ran cold. The small bottle of amber colored shampoo and the pearlescent liquid soap carried her scent and gave it to him. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing as he turned the knobs off and stepped out onto the soft, carpeted bath mat. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he went about cleaning himself up before finally pulling on a pair of blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

As he studied his reflection in the mirror, he glimpsed a hint of the Four Square tattoo, seemingly etched into his right bicep. Once upon a time, that symbol had stood for their unity. Us against the world. Now it meant nothing to him. Trust was irreparably broken and the last thing he wanted was a reminder of the strange closeness they had once had.

Without a single trace of hesitance, he pushed his sleeve back and waved his left hand over the area. He watched, mesmerized as the ink disappeared, leaving no indication that there had ever been so much as a mark there before.

Retribution would follow the others when the time was right, he would make sure of that, but until then, Zan wanted to erase all visibility that the three traitors had ever been a part of his life.

Before he could get lost in anger, his growling stomach was what finally pulled Zan out of his contemplation. Emerging from the bathroom, amidst a light steam that still lingered in the small room, he was met with complete silence. A quick tour around the loft revealed that Reagan was nowhere to be found, however, there was a note taped to the refrigerator door.

Zan,
I have a ton of errands to run and won’t be back until later this afternoon. Please stay in the loft while I’m gone!! There’s still a lot we have to talk about before you go off and try to search for Lonnie, Rath and Ava which is what I’m sure you’re already planning out. DON’T! I’ll see you in a few hours and make yourself at home.
<center> ~Reagan</center>

Crumpling the note up in his palm, Zan felt a small bout of annoyance at the accuracy of her words. Years spent hiding, carefully placing walls around himself all seemed to fly out the window in a night because of the small, slip of a girl who was quickly beginning to drive him crazy with aggravation and lust.

Denial wasn’t going to change the things she made him feel. There was something about her eyes, the way she looked into his as though she had every right to access his personal thoughts. She was stubborn to a fault and sexy as yell when she was yelling at him. He would admit, though not out loud, that he was attracted to her. She stirred things up inside of him that he didn’t know even existed and as intriguing as that was, it was also annoying.

Ava had been easy enough to deal with. She had an attitude due to the years spent around Lonnie and her big mouth, but she could also be docile and fall in line when it was necessary. She understood that he was kind and called the shots, whether she agreed with them or not.

The way Reagan continued to evade his questions, yell in his face or stare right through him was an easy indicator that she would be anything but docile, no matter what the situation was.

As his thoughts began to run away with him, he noticed the simplest, yet the oddest thing sitting on her coffee table. Curiously, he lifted the text into the palms of his hands and stared at the cover as though it were a foreign object.

Introduction to C++ Programming.

Along with the textbook was a yellow legal pad filled with a series of numbers, letters and names he didn’t recognize. Scrawled on one corner was a date, more than two months before and the words, 5th period. It dawned on Zan that she was in high school and he was most likely looking at old homework assignments or class notes.

The information, while somewhat helpful, only seemed to further pique his interest. He wondered what sort of life she had lived, where she had grown up and where her pod was hidden. He couldn’t believe that she had been in the city since emerging from the pod without he, or any of the others, ever knowing.

As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he remembered one other thing from his last night with Rath, Lonnie and Ava.

“Yo that’s messed up duke. This is the only time we’ve ever been contacted” Rath argues on cue.

“Whatever. That’s it” I state and briefly glance left and right. I’m not really sure what I’m looking for but I know that there’s something different in the air tonight… an excess of energy, maybe.

Zan wondered if the strange feeling he got that night had been an instinctive understanding that something bad was going to happen, or if it was the result of another alien lurking in the shadows. He already knew that Reagan had been around. She had to have been, otherwise it would have been impossible to help him survive, though he still had no idea how she managed it. What if she had been there? It would mean that even before meeting her, his body recognized her… maybe even called out to her, if the dreams they were both apparently having, had anything to do with it.

Suddenly there were even more questions and still not enough answers. It didn’t matter anymore whether or not she was ready to share the truth, it was time to sit down and finally get everything squared away. Zan believed he’d go crazy with wonder if they didn’t.

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Thanks Crystal, Lindsay and Eve for the wonderful feedback!! Okay, while you get some answers here, the majority will come in the next chapter and for those of you who are reading 'Fixing What Destiny Broke' the story of Zan and Reagan will eventually entertwine with the rest of gang. Thanks again! Enjoy!

Chapter 4

Getting lost in a maze of gardens has always seemed peaceful to me. With the high bushes and trees all around, it’s nearly impossible to be found unless you want to be. It’s something that always worked to my advantage when I was younger and my father wanted me to come inside and join him at an advisors meeting or for a chat on my future.

I always used to hide from Villandra here too, but now I’m the person I’m trying to hide from. I kissed her and I enjoyed doing it. How did I feel so many different emotions and sensations all at once with such a simple kiss from a girl I’ve known since her birth?

“I am starting to think you have a radar or something” a teasing voice says from in front of me. I was so busy trying to sort out my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed Reagan lying in the grass. Her eyes are covered as she blocks the sun from her face while her dress and hair are fanned out all around her.

“Don’t put it past me. I am the prince after all” I tell her, arrogant as possible because I know it will make her laugh. I’m not disappointed when she does.

“I thought there was a summit meeting this afternoon” she states.

“Postponed until tomorrow” I answer her. “Do you mind if I sit?” I ask, afraid that she’ll say no and nervous that she’ll say yes.

“By all means, you are the prince” she mocks but not once does she uncover her eyes. This disappoints me. I wanted to see her eyes. She always leaves them so open and expressive though maybe that’s why she hides them now… or so I’d like to think.

“My Lady…” I begin, unable to continue when her words stop me straight away.

“Such formality for someone who takes such liberties with said Lady.”

“Do you wish for me to apologize for what I did?” I ask and don’t dare to wonder what her answer might be. I can only hope that she isn’t angry with me for what happened.

“Not unless you’re sorry for it” she responds. I want to pull her arm away. I want to see her, but I don’t. I give her, her privacy.

“I’m not” I admit then. “But I would like to do it again” I find myself saying, knowing instinctively that the words are meant. I want to kiss her again, I want to feel her lips but more than anything, I want to feel all those things she makes me feel. How could I have lived for the last twenty one years and not once come alive until her lips were on mine?

“Did you ever hear the fable of Pandora’s Box?” she asks me. I remember that she always liked to read, always liked to be told stories as a child. She had a particular fascination with earth and all it’s simple intricacies. Perhaps this is one of them.

“Not that I am aware of” I tell her and lean back beside her, somehow knowing that she’ll tell me the story now.

“Pandora was this beautiful woman, created by the gods in revenge to tempt a man into damnation. He was warned but he couldn’t believe that someone so beautiful and seemingly pure, could ever get him into any trouble. So he put his faith in her.”

Her voice is soft… melodic and lulls me into a sense of peace as I listen to her tale.

“The gods were angry that things weren’t working as they planned so they had someone sent to the couple, carrying with him a locked chest. They were told that it wasn’t to be opened, only held for safe keeping until someone arrived to pick it up” she explains and the look on her face is animated, giving away the intrigue and interest she holds for this particular story. She makes me interested just by the way enjoys it. Few have ever been able to do that to me before and none since I was a child.

“The man agreed and stayed away, but it was Pandora who wanted to open the box, a box filled with all the worst of things and if opened, would release them all into the world, forever changing the only reality they had ever known. The last thing to come out of that box when Pandora opened it, was hope.”

“Like the earth tale of Adam and Eve” I state as I remember hearing that particular tale many years ago.

“Are you sure you want to do it again, knowing it could open up a Pandora’s Box of trouble for you?” She looks at me then. She needs to see my eyes because I’d like to believe that she knows I would open them to her… open myself to her.

“The box has already been opened” I reply. “Now will you be my hope?” I ask her.

She doesn’t answer me at first and I think she’s going to deny my request… but she doesn’t. She presses her lips against mine and I’m no longer in the labyrinth, I’m somewhere entirely different. Somewhere that’s made for the two of us alone. It doesn’t matter that what we’re doing would be wrong to everyone else because to us, nothing before has ever felt as right as this does.


~&~&~&~&~&


Zan didn’t realize he was tired until he felt Reagan wake him from another dream. The darkness peaking in through the curtained windows gave away the late hour while the smell of Chinese take out indicated Reagan had just returned. “What time is it?” he asked, looking around and belatedly realizing that there wasn’t a clock in sight.

“It’s just after seven” she replied after a quick consultation to her watch. “Come on, why don’t eat before the food gets cold and then sit down and talk?” she suggested and while Zan was inclined to disagree for the sake of disagreeing, unaccustomed to working by someone else’s timetable, he realized that she was offering him an in. He decided to take it before she decided to revoke it.

“A’ight” he agreed and watched her retrieve and set the bag down on the coffee table. The previously cluttered surface was now clean and he realized that she had moved the books. Carton by carton, Reagan spread everything out and handed him a set of chop sticks, forgoing the two plastic spoons that still rested in the bag. “Thanks.”

Distracted by the hundred thoughts swimming around in his mind, he didn’t realize he was forgetting something until Zan bit into a egg roll and felt like he was eating cardboard. “Do you have any hot sauce or pepper or something?” he asked, briefly wondering why Reagan didn’t seem to have a problem with the food.

“Sure, in the cabinet above the stove” she replied and continued eating while he got up to retrieve the bottle of Tabasco. “I guess it’s safe to assume you like things really sweet or really spicy” she commented once he was back, beside her. A nod was his only answer as he sprinkled a large dose of the red liquid inside the carton.

“Shit” he muttered when he realized that she would now have to eat the spicy concoction he had created. “Sorry bout that” Zan stated when his small outburst grabbed her attention.

“It’s not a big deal” Reagan shrugged. “My protector had next to no taste buds so I’m already used to eating food that’s doused in hot sauce or covered with a mountain of sugar” she explained while Zan noticed, for just a second, the way her eyes momentarily saddened in mention of the person who had raised her.

“So you go to school, huh?” Zan asked in an effort to distract her. If questioned, he wouldn’t have been able to, nor would he have wanted to tell you why he wanted to wipe the sad frown off her face.

“Junior year” she nodded in agreement though didn’t seem very keen on discussing it further. “What about you?” she asked in favor of elaborating on her own story. “Do you go to school or… did you ever go to school?”

“Nah, I never went” Zan replied as he thought back to the way he and the others had learned everything. “Kal… our protector… he didn’t give a shit about us. He just wanted to pretend like he was human and ended up going to Hollywood or some shit like that.” The look she gave him was sympathetic. He didn’t want her sympathy… he didn’t want her to care because then it would be harder to fight the feelings he was developing towards her. “So why do you go to school for, when it’s easy enough to get by without it?”

She realized he was uncomfortable and allowed the subject to drift back to herself.

“Avirim and I moved around a lot” Reagan stated with a rueful smile. “Last night, you asked me why I never came to you sooner or why my protector never tried to help you. The truth is that he did look for you. From the time I… hatched, I guess… he took me any and everywhere you or the others might be” she informed and he held onto her words, storing them away for later evaluation. He wanted to ask her how her protector, this Avirim, searched but he didn’t want to interrupt the tale she was telling.

“I guess you could say that I just wanted some sense of normalcy. Bad teachers, homework assignments and boys tugging on my braids seemed as normal as I could get so wherever we went, I always asked him to enroll me in school.”

He nodded to show he understood. He had had his own moments when he wished things could be different. Zan could talk a good game and get by with the best of them but it didn’t mean that there weren’t times when he wished he could just live a normal life. They might have been few and far between, but those thoughts were there.

“Well we did things different in our crib” Zan stated after a small bout of silence though he was unsure of why he had the desire to tell her about him… about the life he had lived until now. Rather than dwell on the why’s, he just focused on the memory of the story he was telling.

“Kal was there the night we all broke out of our pods. Stuck around long enough to tell us a couple stories, toss us a couple books and make sure we had a meal for the night” he said and again, saw the sympathy return. “The others didn’t give a shit about learning anything. School is for cornballs, you know? But I was curious, always getting into one thing or another so I used to read… all the time… anything I could get my hands on and then I’d hide everything away under my mattress like some kid hiding porn or something” he mused.

The smile she awarded him shot another wave of desire straight to his gut. He asked himself when lust began to outweigh annoyance but found he had no answer to that particular question. It was insane, they barely knew one another yet… yet he knew that that wasn’t true. They did know each other, he just wasn’t sure how well.

“So out of all the things you’ve read, which was your favorite?” she asked and plucked a egg roll from his carton with ease.

Zan thought about the question, focusing on it rather than the familiarity that slowly began to seep inside his bones. He felt like they had done this before… sat together, sharing a meal while conversation flowed between them. He had no images to substantiate the feeling, but he believed it was genuine.

“Um… Leaves of Grass” he eventually replied, thinking back to book he read at age ten and then again at fifteen because he hadn’t understood it the first time.

Before his eyes, her face transformed into a thoughtful expression, instantly filling Zan with curiosity and a very unwelcome sense of self-consciousness. He didn’t want to feel any of it and lashed out in an effort to push the feelings away. “What?” he asked, harsher than needed. “Don’t think a street rat could actually read or appreciate something like that or what?” he demanded

“No, not at all” she stated, perplexed by his sudden change. “I was just… I was just remembering something.”

Chastised, he forced himself to swallow his attitude and fixed her with a stare that was curious and slightly apologetic. “What?” Zan repeated, several silent seconds later, in a considerably nicer tone than he had used only moments before.

“It’s just that, um… Leaves of Grass… it’s got a philosophical or spiritual feel to it. It’s kind of in the realm of abstract rather than in the realm of concrete and back on Antar… you were the same way” Reagan admitted, wearing a small smile that left Zan more curious now than ever.

“What was I like?” he asked and placed the carton of food back down on the table. The idea of eating had quickly become overshadows with the prospect of finding out a few more details of the past he didn’t, but desperately wanted to remember.

“Well that’s a loaded question” Reagan laughed, uncomfortably. “Um… you were rebellious. You saw things differently than anyone else did… always watching and examining everything. Then you’d get this idea in your head and no matter how difficult it would be to accomplish, you’d persist and work on it until you found the answer” she stated with a far away expression.

Zan watched as her eyes fell closed and wistfulness covered her features. It confused him, surprised him but he pushed past his own feelings and continued to concentrate on the little tidbits of information she gave him. He tried to find a place for her words, tried to find the place where each puzzle piece fit.

“You hated the way things ran in our world. You wanted to change it, make it better to suit the people but there were just so many… old families, old blood” Regan continued and he watched, mesmerized and unmoving as a single tear slid from her eye. “Larek used to warn you that you needed to slow down. ‘Change takes time’ he would say but you wanted to fix all the problems that had been around for centuries and in the end… it was too fast. You were too ahead of your time.”

He waited until her eyes had opened and met his with a small sense of lingering sadness. Again, he was transported back to another time… to another life.

As our lips touch, she let’s out a soft, keening moan that tells me how much she’s enjoying this. I hold her against me, deepening our kiss and run my tongue lightly against her mouth. Readily, she silently grants me access to her warm mouth and our tongues duel hotly until our lungs scream for a reprieve. Only then do we pull away long enough to drag in a ragged breath before we fuse our lips back together.

Through the fog that has enveloped my mind, I briefly register what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with. Rather than apologize for taking such a liberty or pull myself away, I begin to run my hands down her spine and revel in the feel of all her exposed skin. She shivers in my arms and I have no intention of stopping the wonderful feelings she stirs inside of me.

Her body straddles mine as we both struggle to get closer. She’s pliant… relaxed in my arms as I continue to trail my hands up to the nape of her neck before making the trip all the way down to where her silky night gown has gathered around her waist.

She doesn’t protest to any of my wanderings and taking that as encouragement, I allow my hands to move forward and stroke her sides. The tips of my fingers graze her breasts and I can’t help but enjoy the way she moans her pleasure into my mouth.

Eager to hear her satisfied sounds again, I continue my exploration, growing bolder with every pass.

“Who were you to me?” he asked though they both knew, at least on some level, that he had some idea of who she had been… what she had been to him. It was in her eyes before she had a chance to hide her feelings away. It was in his while he studied her, watched her.

“The forbidden fruit” Regan stated, causing a brief, fleeting memory to pass through his mind. It was a dream… the dream he had dreamt less than an hour before.

“Pandora was this beautiful woman, created by the gods in revenge to tempt a man into damnation. He was warned but he couldn’t believe that someone so beautiful and seemingly pure, could ever get him into any trouble. So he put his faith in her.”

Confused and desperate to hold onto the memories he had locked inside, Zan pulled her to him, cupping her face in his hands before plundering her mouth in a scorching kiss.

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Thank you La'Shon, Eve and Lindsay for your great feedback!!! This chapter will be posted in two parts and as always, I hope you enjoy!!!

Chapter 5A

Their connection was strong and the feel of their bodies pressed together seemed as natural as breathing. Her reaction towards him was instant… instinctive. Soft, delicate hands grasped at the back of his shirt, holding him close while his calloused fingers gently stroked her smooth skin. Tears that had previously fallen were wiped away with the pads of his thumbs as he erased all traces of sadness.

Both quickly became intoxicated by the kiss. Tongues dueled, mated for dominance as they fell back onto the thick sofa cushions. His body pinned hers down beneath him, holding her body captive as they grappled with the onslaught of desire that had quickly washed over them.

Familiarity was no longer an issue. Their actions stemmed from an attraction… an urge to get lost and find themselves in each other

<center> ~&~</center>

As I focus solely on Reagan and the silky feel of her skin, she lowers her hands beneath my shirt and lightly runs them over my body. My muscles bunch in anticipation of every motion. Briefly, I allow myself to get lost in everything she’s doing to me, all the emotions she stirs within me. It isn’t until I feel of the cool night air against my skin, that I’m alerted to the fact that she has already unbuttoned my shirt. Soft, nimble hands ran over my chest and shoulders, making it impossible to hold in a quiet groan.

On steady legs, I rise from the terrace chair and bury my face in the crook of her shoulder, kissing the creamy flesh as her long legs wrap around my body. Unable to wait any longer, I carry her back into the privacy of her bedroom.


<center> ~&~</center>


“Alright then, you think you’re the best at everything… even though we both know I beat you in our sparing match… but I’ll make a bet with you and the winner, should you choose to accept, Prince Zander, gets to pilot the plane today.”

“What’s the bet?” I ask, thoroughly interested in this little turn of events.

“The simulation jets. Whoever gets a higher score gets to use their wings” she explains and shoots me a contemplative look. Most likely, she’s trying to figure out whether or not I’ll risk getting us both in trouble with the stunt she’s suggesting.

For starters, after a particularly dangerous flight she took, her Lieutenant Colonel grounded her until further notice, meaning that she shouldn’t be flying at all. On top of that, if he sees her anywhere near the simulation jets, her sentence will probably be extended.

I realize that I can overrule his command but it would only undermine his leadership which is the last thing I need to do right now. I know that she doesn’t want me to go against anyone either which is why we’ve be sneaking her on and off the planes but what she’s suggesting now is a bit more risky than the usual stunt.

“Why do you insist on always doing things that might get the two of us in trouble or found out?” I question though I’m not angry, just really curious.

“Because you are not mine Zander and you never will be” Reagan answers, quietly, truthfully but continues before I can stop her. “But to me, it means something that I am the first woman you sparred with. The first woman you went flying with or broke so many rules for. It isn’t some kind of test, I need you to understand that, it’s just that our time together is so special and it gives me memories that no one will ever be able to take away from me.”

I understand her words. She wasn’t my first girlfriend… my first kiss and would never be my wife, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t share many other first with her. Still, I understand now why she always wants to do outrageous things together. She knows that I’d never do these things with anyone else and she wants to be different for me.

“You do realize that I hold the record on the simulation jets, do you not?” I ask and watch as she lifts her eyes to mine. The amusement is back in her depths and I’m glad for it.

“So then you’d be really embarrassed if I beat you, correct?” she teases.

“It’s not going to happen” I state with more than a little arrogance.

“Watch it there. I think you’re head is starting to catch up to your ears” she shoots back.

“That’s it” I say and hold my hand out, flinging her towards me before she has a chance to run away. Her body crashes against my chest and my hands immediately encircle her body, holding her to me. “Ice in your veins and fire in your heart” I murmur.

“That’s not all that’s in my heart” she replies.

“I would be disappointed if it were” I softly counter.


<center> ~&~</center>


I wish things could be different. I wish I could give her everything but we both know that I can’t. Tonight isn’t about any of that though. It isn’t about what we can’t do, it’s about what we can. I can give her a piece of myself. I want to completely give myself up to her and feel her body against mine, giving herself up to me.

With no further questions between us, our lips meet again in an unspoken agreement. Passion quickly flares and escalates as her lips caress while hands roam and tease. I hold her close but it’s never close enough.

Pulling lightly at the ties that hold her night gown closed, I can’t help but groan at the sight of her exposed breasts. As I cup their fullness in my hands, she moans out my name in bliss. “Hmm…Zan” she murmurs when I run the pad of my thumb over one stiffened peak. The soft sounds she emits are an instant aphrodisiac and I caress her puckered nipples again just to hear my name fall from her lips.


<center> ~&~</center>


“Do you ever wonder what’s it’s like on the other planets outside of our galaxy” she asks as we lay beneath one of the garden’s largest trees. Our hands our linked and our shoulders touch as we stare up at the heavens above us. The sun is rapidly setting, leaving it in a rainbow of colors as night fights day for control of the sky.

“I suppose they’re similar to our own” I reply, simply.

“I bet that none of them are as beautiful as our land though” Reagan declares with a determined set in her chin.

“At the risk of sounding completely cheesy, I think you are more beautiful than any land, any sunset and any other maiden in this galaxy or any other” I say and turn her face towards mine. With a single finger, I raise her chin so that our gazes meet. “You are the most beautiful being, to me” I say before I lean down and place a kiss to her lips.

Pulling her close, she rests partially against my chest and as I feel her melt against me, I know that where I am right now is where I always want to be… encircled in her arms.


<center> ~&~</center>


Inch by inch, her heat envelopes me, filling me with the desire to plunge forward but it’s my concern for Reagan that has me taking my time. She holds me close and presses her lips to mine… she’s distracting herself and before I realize her intention, she bucks her hips up until I’m completely sheathed inside of her.

She gasps against my mouth and I want nothing more than to heal her right now. “No” she whispers, stopping me before I can place my hand against her abdomen. “Just give me a second” she requests and takes a few moments to adjust. “Slow” she says and begins to wiggle around beneath me, causing a moan to escape our lips.

“Slow” I promise and begin to move against her. She’s so tight… like a hot glove that holds me close. Our kisses grow lazy but still hold the same passion as before. Moans and soft whimpers fill the night as we move faster. I stroke deeper as her breathing grows ragged. She’s close and I do my best to bring her towards complete ecstasy.

“It feels so good” she murmurs and writhes around below me. With her hands in mine, I pin them above her, causing her body to arch into mine. Our movements increase until she reaches her peak and digs her nails into my hand in an effort to keep quiet. I’m right behind her and with several powerful thrusts later, I reach complete fulfillment, stifling a low groan against her neck.

As the memories began to fade, Zan’s kisses slowed into lazy caresses. Their eyes remained closed and their breath mingled as the two struggled to calm their racing hearts. “That was… intense” he murmured, drawing a quick agreement from Reagan. “It was… was like I could feel you… feel what I felt in those memories.”

“I know” she whispered as he placed a ghost of a kiss against her skin. He had never experienced a flash like that before. Connecting with anyone had never been something he wanted and something he always avoided. In random moments when his emotions were high and he left himself open, a small scrap of someone’s memory would make its way into his mind but it was fleeting at most and never more than an inkling of what someone had felt. There were no emotions of his own tied to it and it was something he had just learned to live with.

This, what he had just experienced, was completely different. The smooth touch of her hand…the warmth of her body… her wet heat enveloping him. Intense wasn’t even an accurate word to describe what they had just shared and the lingering memories left him aroused and slightly dazed.

As he attempted to organize his thoughts into some semblance, no other words were spoken… not yet, not while the silence provided moments to remember.

Zan knew he should move away. He needed space to think clearly as his senses remained filled with her presence. It should have been easy to sit and put more than a breath between them but he didn’t want to. After going through life, always feeling like he was missing something, waiting for something… or maybe it had been someone, he now relished the feel of finally feeling complete.

In the distance, a siren wailed. It was loud and enough to bring both back to the present. Almost immediately, their ears were assaulted by the sound of traffic… taxi cabs honking, tires squealing and people yelling and whistling for one to stop. The siren faded only to be replaced by another disturbance, a bell from a nearby church to mark the hour, a couple arguing over whether or not someone was flirting with someone else.

All the sounds that they had blocked out in favor of focusing solely on each other quickly filled the air and were enough to get the couple to sit up. “I’m sorry” Zan stated as he watched Reagan run a hand through her hair, straightening the mussed, russet tendrils.

“Don’t be” she replied.

“I’m not” he stated and was glad to see the small smile that formed on her lips. “So um… the two of us… we used to be um…” he trailed off, unsurely. He was loathsome to put a name to everything he had seen between them. Mistress seemed cheap and tawdry, definitely not what he had felt towards her. She wasn’t his wife and girlfriend didn’t fit either, leaving the word lover which still didn’t seem like a good enough description.

“Together?” she provided when she noticed his trouble. “Yes, we were together for nearly a year before all hell broke loose and… and you married Ava” Reagan informed and Zan easily read the sadness her entire body radiated in remembrance.

“Tell me about it” he encouraged while silently struggling for several moments before reaching out and taking her hand in his. Instantly, she turned her palm up and linked their fingers. It seemed natural and effortless and Zan believed Reagan didn’t even realize what she had done. “See, there are certain things that I know… things that I’ve been dreaming about for the last couple of weeks. They’re always gone by the time I wake up but sometimes, a small trace will stay behind long enough for me to grab onto it” he explained and shook his head, frustrated with himself for being unable to put into words exactly what he was feeling.

“It was a party” Reagan stated, halting his internal struggle. “You and I saw each other for the first time in ten years at your engagement party to Princess Ava. We talked… we danced and at the end of the night, I realized that you had spent more time by my side than you had with anyone else” she mused with a faraway look in her eyes.

Zan listed to the words, once again trying to find their place. There was something familiar about the scene she painted, something that he knew he had seen before and assumed it was another forgotten dream.

“You kissed me for the first times after a long, strenuous sparring match. I won by the way” she threw in with a rueful smile. “But Rath showed up before we could talk about what happened, specifically, why it happened. So we held it in and another few days later, you found me resting in the gardens.”

“I wasn’t sorry” Zan murmured, almost to himself as he thought about Pandora’s Box. “I wanted to kiss you again but when I did… I never wanted to stop” he stated and closed his eyes, missing the surprised expression Reagan wore at his admission. “You told me that it needed to stop. We were already so close to another and… and I was supposed to marry Ava. I went to my father and I told him about you and… and how I felt but he said that none of it mattered” Zan continued, uttering words that Reagan had never known.

He wasn’t sure where it had come from, but the words continued to flow from Zan’s mouth as easily as his own name might have. “I made a promise, he said and that I needed to stand by it. He refused to break the betrothal agreement.”

“Do you remember your father?” Reagan queried once he had grown silent.

“No” Zan shook his head. “I can hear the words… hear his voice in my mind but I can’t put a face to them” he stated before finally allowing his eyes to drift open and his gaze to settle on the beautiful woman beside him. “What happened to him?” he asked and the pensive expression her face transformed into told him that it wouldn’t be a pleasant story.

“It began and ended with Kivar” Reagan finally replied while Zan’s jaw gave an involuntary twitch at the name. “He started out slow, causing rifts here and there but for the most part, he was merely an annoyance. It wasn’t until the Dermusees… the skins… joined his rebellion that things quickly escalated out of control” she explained and unconsciously began to rub her thumb along his hand in a soothing manner. Zan noticed it but didn’t comment.

“King Haladrin wanted you to have more experience so he began to groom you for the day when you would eventually take his place” Reagan stated. “You were good at everything you did so Kivar tried to discredit you by causing chaos wherever he went. Some things he managed to blame on you, others he blamed on your family’s rule” she stated and let out a brief, almost imperceptible, shudder before she continued her story. Zan saw it from the corner of his eye and gave her hand a small squeeze in response.

He couldn’t imagine that any of this was easy for her. She lived through it all once, remembered it and now had to tell the tale.

“Before long, the lines were drawn and the galaxy was split. From what we all could figure, Kivar sent his minions out to kill your father, but no one could ever prove that he had been the one to order the attack” Reagan said softly though Zan didn’t feel sadness. Anger was the prominent emotion he held.

For whatever reason, he thought of Lonnie, Rath and Ava then. He thought about their betrayal and how certain things stayed with them. Lonnie had been a part of their demise before and it seemed that death and reincarnation couldn’t stop her from doing it again.

“So then what happened?” he asked and while he was sorry for what she had to do, he needed answers.

“Well…King Haladrin’s death meant that all your plans had to be pushed up. Your coronation came two days after his funeral and your wedding came less than a week later” Reagan continued while her words sparked something else in Zan’s mind. There was another fleeting image of what he assumed to be his wedding.

She walks towards me in a sea of white. Not a single blonde hair stands out of place while an excited smile adorns her face. Her blue eyes twinkle happily as the Royal Chaplin begins his speech and I feel a momentary pang of sorrow that I cannot return her content feelings.

The woman I want beside me has long auburn waves, not short blonde curls. Her eyes are the color of a fine brandy, not a watery shade of blue. Her hand fits perfectly in mine and her body moulds against mine whenever we are close.

I never considered myself a glutton for punishment, but as I continue to ignore the words being preached to the kingdom, my eyes drift to the beautiful woman who sits beside my sister. I hate that her position in the General’s family requires her to be here for this. I hate that she must have a front row seat to witness my promises and vows to another woman. I hate that she is not the woman I am making these vows and promises to.

“King Zander of the Royal House of Antar, do you take this woman, Princess Ava of the Royal House of Kyros, to be your queen…”

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Thank you, La'Shon, Lindsey, Eve, and Crystal for your feedback. This story is going to draw to a close soon, only one other chapter and then an epilogue. However, it will pick up in a sequel, called "Retribution" which will be all about Zan and Reagan finding Ava, Kal and why Rath and Lonnie are no longer a problem. Hope you stick with me!!

I just can't understand that Regan accepted all of this without complaining!

A good question, but in their world, blood and obligations were an important thing. Because of who she was and what family she came from, Reagan had an obligation to be there for the King's wedding. She didn't have a choice, given the circumstances and since no one knew about their relationship, it would have seemed very suspicious if she hadn't been present. Hope that explains it.


Chapter 5B

The next hour past with an exchange of memories and words to answer Zan’s questions. Few things rang a bell and others simply sounded right even if he didn’t know why. It was emotionally trying to rehash everything and it was apparent that for every wonderful event or time, there were three other bad ones to counter it.

“So I guess that just leaves one other thing” Zan commented, all the while trying to absorb everything he had just learned. “The dreams. Why am I dreaming the past and why were you dreaming the future?” he asked and the way she bit her lip and averted his gaze immediately warned him that the answer wouldn’t be an easy one.

“Well…” she tentatively began and Zan instantly noticed how wound up she looked. She fidgeted slightly though not because of his scrutiny and he was easily reminded of a caged bird. She wanted to move… to pace around but because she needed his presence, she remained seated as she told her story.

Zan found that despite all the things he couldn’t remember, he was still able to read her like an open book. The thought pleased and surprised him at once.

“The last time I saw you, I was sitting in one the conference room going over my flight plans” Reagan stated instead and even though it wasn’t an answer, Zan understood that she was working her way towards it. Patiently, he leaned back against the couch cushions and listened to her voice. Their hands remained clasped as she drew strength from the simple touch. “Rath barged in and practically ordered me to leave Antar” she continued, faintly reminding him of another dream.

Frustration once again set in as tried, in vain, to recall the lost moments. He felt as though he was constantly jumping from one feeling or thought to another. Everything seemed to remind him of something else… something that he couldn’t completely remember It was irritating that he couldn’t hold his attention on one topic or story for long, something that had never been a problem before. It was frustrating to say the least, especially since he understood that his lack of memories constantly caused Reagan to relive some of their most trying moments together.

“Rath wanted me to stay with Sero on Livius since it was still considered neutral territory. We, he and I, fought for… countless minutes but I finally just walked away from the argument and you followed me” Reagan stated and took another deep breath before delivering one final blow. “You urged me to leave while I still could but I kept refusing until you finally told me your reasons. I was pregnant, with your son, and you needed me to get out for his and my protection” she stated and finally returned her whiskey eyes to his stunned ones. “He was the only reason I left you that day.”

The words floated inside of him until they seeped into and chilled his bones. Zan opened his mouth to ask her if she was sure she remembered things correctly, if she was positive they really conceived a child together when he began to remember one other dream… the dream he had the night before Rath, Lonnie and Ava betrayed him.

“Please, just go back to the barracks or even to Livius where Sero can protect you while I cannot.” I know she wants to say something else but I have two options and I’d I’ll use them both if I have to. “I love you Reagan. I couldn’t bare it if anything happened to you. Please, I’m begging you now. Go to Livius while you can still fly out.”

“I love you too, Zan, but I refuse” she shakes her head, prepared to walk away from me when in a desperate effort to get her to comply, I yell out the one thing that I know, without a doubt, will make her go.

“Then do it for him.”

“Who are you talking about” she asks me. I lower my hand to her stomach and connect with the child growing in her womb. The child we created the night before my wedding a month ago. “Are you telling me that I’m…” she trails off as tears begin to fall from her eyes.

“Yes, my love, we created a life and he’s going to need your protection. Promise me that you’ll do what’s best from him and go to Sero” I plead, not caring that as the current king, the ruler of everyone, I should be giving orders, not begging for someone to follow my request. I don’t care because my first priority is and will always be the woman before me. “Promise me.”

“I promise” she vows, solemnly. Her tears begin to fall freely as she holds her arms around her middle.

“Is… did he…what happened to him?” Zan finally got out as he steeled himself for the possibility that their son hadn’t survived the pregnancy. After all, Zan had no idea how long Reagan had lived after his own death, nor did he know how or why she had died. Despite everything they talked about, he still felt like there was so much he didn’t know.

“After you were ki… after you were gone” Reagan amended, unable to say the word, killed. “I returned to Antar as soon as I could but by that time, your funeral had already taken place and you, along with the others, had already been sent here” she explained and this time she did rise to pace. Zan could feel her energy pulsing and briefly wondered how long she could hold it in before it became too much.

“Queen Valora had no claim to the throne with King Haladrin gone and no living heirs, so Kivar managed to force his way to the crown. The people believed that he was the strongest choice given that there was no royal blood left” Reagan continued, pausing only for a second to gather her thoughts before she resumed pacing and story telling. “The night before your wedding, you placed the royal seal on my hip. You marked me as… as your mate, bonded yourself to me. I know that it hadn’t been your intention and that the bond would eventually have to break if you were ever going to have children with Ava but… but it turns out that I was pregnant and… and then you were gone before the time ever came for you to… to break… the bond.”

Zan had a strong desire to wrap his arms around her. He wanted to comfort her, to tell her that the past didn’t matter anymore but he knew that if held her, he would never want to let go and he wasn’t ready for that yet.

“I don’t understand” Zan admitted, mulling over her words. “If bonding myself to you meant that I would eventually have to break it… why did it do it?” he asked even though a part of him, a part hidden and locked away in the deepest crevices of his mind, already knew the answer.

“When you and I were… together, that night, it was… amazing, more so than any other time we were together. I literally felt like my soul was merging with yours but still, we both held back… almost like we knew what would happen if we let ourselves go to that place” Reagan struggled to explain and in her frustration, returned to the couch and buried her face in her hands. “I think that even if we didn’t understand it, we were surrendering ourselves to each other and when you marked me… something you meant as a means to always carry a piece of each other, we completed the bond” she surmised and while it shouldn’t have made sense, to Zan… it did.

Nodding once, Zan took her hand in his again and asked her to continue.

“Sero arranged for a transport to take me back, along with four shape shifters as my guards” Reagan stated and offered Zan a small smile as she felt him gently squeeze her fingers in a silent show of support. “Nicolas managed to create a world of chaos just so Kivar could fix it and play the hero. The people… they were so devastated by the deaths of the Royal heirs and all the other lost lives caused by the war that they were willing to believe anything Kivar told them if it meant cleaning up the mess he had caused.”

Zan tried and failed to imagine what it must have been like. Anger grew by the second until he found himself in the same position Reagan had been in… filled with excess energy and desperate to somehow release it.

“Posing as Kivar’s soldiers, two of my guards got into the citadel and secured an entry for me while the other two, Philo and Avirim, led me inside” Reagan stated, reliving it all through her mind’s eyes. “When I finally made it into the throne room, the summit representatives were sitting conference which was the only thing that kept Kivar from killing me on sight. He seemed surprised but it must have been some sort of act” she mused. “Immediately, he conjured up some sort of list of war crimes to accuse me of in an effort to hold me imprisoned but… it was your seal that kept me alive” she said and realized, with a single glance, what Zan’s problem was.

Without another word, she rose from the couch and walked around the room, lowering the shades and drawing the curtains until the room was bathed in near darkness, save for the light filtering in from the hallway. “What are…”

“Target practice” Reagan interrupted and ran her hand over a single lamp in an effort to provide a little more light. “I can feel your energy… there’s too much of it on the surface. You’re fighting it back… don’t.”

“I ain’t gonna fight you” Zan stated simply and refused to even entertain the idea.

“Why? You scared you’re gonna lose again?” she taunted and even the darkened room couldn’t hide the irritation in his eyes or the stubborn set of his chin. “Afraid of losing to a girl? After all, what would that say about you as a king if you couldn’t even beat a small, weak girl like me.” She was baiting him, that much he knew. More energy swirled around until it was almost impossible to hold it in. Anger and lust mingled until her words were finally enough to draw a reaction from the pensive king.

“A’ight” Zan finally agreed and ignored that satisfied smirked that formed on her lips. “I’ll even be a good sport and heal you when I’m done” he goaded and was prepared for the strong blast she sent in his direction. Translucent green shimmered, blocking the well aimed shot before disappearing in the air as he launched his own attack.

The room remained constantly lit with the green of his shield, the blue of hers and the white light of every blast. As the energy poured out of him, Zan felt his strength increase until they were battling like enemies in a routine fluid enough to have been choreographed. She was strong, stronger than he had anticipated and pushed him to work harder until their breath came out in short pants.

Neither slowed their movements, each unwilling to surrender to the other.

Another blast shot from his hand, one that hit her square in the shoulder and should have knocked her back. Reagan, however, took the hit and pushed past the pain to throw one final blast at the unsuspecting king before falling to her knees. Zan, shocked that she had remained standing for as long as she did, was too late in countering the hit and was knocked off his feet, falling flat on his back.

Silent, unmoving minutes ticked by until Zan was finally able to pull himself up off the floor and crawled towards Reagan.

Automatic panic set in as his eyes raked over her body and failed to see a single muscle move. Falling back onto his knees, he continued to clutch his stomach with one hand while the other rose over her body, prepared to find and heal any damage. “Were you always this strong and just holding back?” she muttered and forced herself to move.

Zan let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and attempted to help her up. “Why the fuck did you wanna fight for? Look at you!” he exclaimed before he could reign in his temper. “Your fucking arm is hurt and I feel like a bulldozer just ran over my ass” he declared and used the last of his swirling, excess energy to heal the wound his final blast had caused.

“Yeah, well you used to be able to take a hit” Reagan fired back. “What… did you go soft in the pod or something?” she questioned, unaware that the louder they yelled, the closer their bodies drifted together.

“What the fuck is your problem! Did you always have anger issues or is this a recent thing you’re trying out on me?” he demanded, holding her gaze until their lips were only a breath apart.

“Go to hell!” she whispered

“Been there sweetheart” Zan murmured, gazing appreciatively at her lips before grabbing her hips and pulling her onto his lap.

Their lips instantly met in a fierce kiss that scalded them both from the heat flowing between them. Hands grappled, pulling each other close, convinced that it was never close enough. Zan felt his heart pounding a rapid staccato in his chest, drowning out all sounds as her presence seeped under his skin.

He hadn’t understood how she managed to infuriate him so easily until all sense lost him. Now, with her lips on his and her body pressed tightly against his own, he understood that there was too much passion between them to ever consider anything they did as calm. She made him feel alive, made his emotions feel like a tennis ball in a heavy match between two champs. They were constantly up and down, back and forth and while it was different from any other thing he had ever felt in his life, he welcomed it in a warm embrace.

From deep within the fog clouding his mind, he felt her slow the kiss and ease her lips away. “I missed that… god, I missed that but… but if we don’t stop now, I don’t think we’ll be able to later” she stated and pained them both as she slipped out of his lap and back onto the hardwood floor.

Like a splash of cold water to his face, Zan felt his emotions shut down at her rejection and attempted to move away from the temptation of her body. “No” she halted with a hand on his arm. “I want you. I want you so much that it hurts but it has to be right” she attempted to explain. “There can’t be all these secrets between us and… and it can’t be because I’m familiar, because we were together before. You have to want me for who I am now because… because I don’t believe in destiny and I won’t give myself up to you for it” she stated with defiance in her eyes as she silently dared him to contradict her.

Just as soon as his anger flared, it quickly deflated as Zan took the hand on his arm and intertwined his fingers with hers. “You don’t get it, do you?” he asked rhetorically and didn’t give her the opportunity to answer. “Up until that night, I was taught that Ava was my destiny but the thing is… I didn’t want her, not like that. There was affection… care but never passion and never heat. She wasn’t… isn’t…” he trailed off uncertainly as he battled with himself whether or not to make a final admission.

Reagan, however, took that decision out of his hands as she pressed him to continue. “What? What wasn’t she Zan?” she questioned, battling her own insecurities.

“You, damn it!” he yelled before he could stop himself. “She’s not you!”

“You don’t even know me… not in this life” Reagan declared with a simple shake of her head.

Her disbelief tore down the last of his walls until he was helpless to do anything but tell her all that he was feeling, pride and humility be damned. “But my heart does” Zan stated with complete certainty. “My soul recognizes you… it chooses you damn it. It… I, want you.”

“Zan… that night I saved you… Ava wasn’t a part of it” Reagan stated and turned away as silent tears began to fall from her eyes. “She tried to get to you but… but Rath… he and Lonnie held her back. They wouldn’t let her get to you and she screamed… tears were in her eyes and she screamed all the way down the street. So if you want me because you think she betrayed you… then you need to know that she never betrayed you.”

Zan took her words, holding them for a moment before filing them away for later. He would deal with Ava later but now he needed to somehow make Reagan understand that she wasn’t second prize. She wasn’t winning anything by default, she was always his first choice. He may not have remembered much, but he remembered that.

“Thank you, for healing my arm” Reagan added and attempted to walk away though this time, it was Zan who stopped her. “What…”

No other words were spoken as he returned his lips to hers. She attempted to push him away but he was unrelenting and she eventually sunk into the kiss. Zan searched his mind, trying to bring forth any image he could of Ava, willing Reagan to feel the emotions behind his relationship with the short blonde.

He felt the exact moment she received his memories. Her lips pushed back with equal fervor as her hands buried in his raven locks. It was too much and not enough at the same time. Zan knew he was slowly loosing himself inside her and relished, rather than feared it. She was everything he needed… everything he wanted or would ever want and as a fleeting tingle of the love they once felt began to trickle into his system, he felt her wrench her body away.

“My heart and my soul want something you aren’t ready to give me” she panted while the knowledge of what had begun to happen, filled Zan’s mind.

The bond.

Their souls desperately wanted to be reunited and both knew that it would be impossible to join their bodies without joining more. She was right, they weren’t ready for it… at least not yet.

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Thanks Crystal, Lindsay, La'Shon and Eve for the great feedback. Next one is the Epilogue. Yay, we're drawing to a close!!

Chapter 5C

“I’m not really sure how it happened and I probably won’t ever” Reagan stated some time later. The conversation had moved back to the couch and while the two had initially tried to keep their distance, they ended up curled together beneath a large, thick comforter. Zan couldn’t think of a time when he had ever cuddled with a girl and found amusement in the arrangement though he didn’t mind… not one bit.

“It’s possible that when we bonded, something in your energy stirred up something in mine that had been lying dormant all that time” she attempted to shrug. “But, its how I knew we were in trouble. I used to have so many problems falling asleep at night and really, it was only the child inside of me that ever provided any sort of comfort. He was a part of you and as long as I had him with me, I would always have you with me” she explained as Zan felt the faint moisture of a tear drop fall against his skin.

After agreeing that there was still so much to discuss, they had resumed their earlier conversation where Reagan tried to explain what had happened to their son. It was painful at best and Zan could feel the waves of sadness coursing through her body like a raucous typhoon.

“After the first night, I thought it was just a nightmare but when I kept having the dream, I began to realize that it could be more than that” she continued on and merely sunk into Zan’s embrace as he pulled her closer against the warmth of his body. “Sero was the only other one besides your mother that I trusted. The three of us came up with a plan that we were lucky to get away with” Reagan mused while a hand on his sparked a momentary flash in Zan’s mind.

“You are just as insane as my son was if you think this is going to work” Valora states, all the while never ceasing her continuous pacing. “I mean no offense but do you really believe Sero has the capability to get into all three of those minds? Do you not understand that the council members are of royal blood and have the highest capabilities of all their people?” she demands though I can see the glint in her eye. She wants me to tell her that it’s possible, she’s wants to believe that this might work, she only needs a little convincing.

“King Jayson’s health has begun to deteriorate since the loss of his daughter” I remind and feel a pang of regret that Ava, whose only crime was to marry someone of our land, had to die because of circumstance. “Hanar is a warrior, whose strength lies in the ability to blast and shield, not in the mind. Then Kathana… well she is too occupied with the threat of her planet’s demise to realize that she is being manipulated” I inform with enough certainty to have the queen’s full attention.

“This will cost you, your life” Valora says and takes my hand to guide me into a chair. She kneels before me and I have to blink to make sure I am seeing things clearly. “There is no question about it. Are you prepared for that consequence” she asks and it is without a trace of hesitance that I give her my answer.

“I have lived my life, your highness. I laughed, I cried and most importantly, I loved” I say and I’m momentarily struck when I see the tears form in her eyes. She refuses to let them fall and I have to admire her sheer strength of will. Queen Valora has lost so much over such a short span of time and now I am asking her to leave her home. This can’t be easy for her. “My son deserves the same chance that both Zander and I had. I will not forfeit his rights, even if it means forfeiting my own” I declare and see the acceptance in her gaze.

“I will do as you ask, your highness” she vows and traces her finger over the ring I now wear on my hand.

The people believe it to be a symbol of my place at the throne. I know it to be a symbol of my love for the king.

“Sero frequented the palace though most times he arrived under the cover of night and remained hidden from prying eyes in my visitor’s quarters” Reagan continued, seemingly unaware of the memory she had just transmitted. “The night I went into labor, he and your mother were the only two who were with me. Queen Valora helped me through the entire process and then Sero mind warped the cries away once our son was born.” Her voice broke before she could finish her sentence, causing Zan to immediately pull her closer until she rested in his lap. His hands rhythmically stroked her soft hair but he kept his mouth closed, somehow knowing that despite her sadness, she needed to get the words out… and he needed to hear them.

“Three minutes… it was how long I had with him. Long enough to complete my maternal bond with him, impress two memories, one of me and one of you and to say goodbye before your mother fled the palace with him.”

“I don’t think I understand” Zan admitted as he tried and failed to piece together the flash and words to make a whole picture. “Why did my mother take him? Where did she take him?” he asked.

“Barswick… it’s a province of Livius where Sero’s grandmother still lived. She took your mother and our son… Jayden… in” Reagan answered. “The dream I kept having was of Kivar killing both me and Jayden after his birth. His presence alone was Kivar’s sole threat to the throne and as a baby, he would have been defenseless against any sort of attack” she went on to explain. “So I continued to stay in my room, never once leaving for any reason until a summit meeting was called. Sero mind warped the council members into thinking I went into labor and he rushed me off into one of the anti-chambers. He stayed with me for several hours and then he mind warped them all into believing the child was born still.”

“Which would make you the next logical target” Zan surmised as he remembered one important detail. With no remaining heirs, the throne would go to the strongest person. His mother hadn’t been an option because her strength was mental, not physical. Reagan, on the other hand, was a strong warrior who would have evenly matched up against Kivar. “How long?” he asked simply, knowing that she would understand the question.

“Five days… six against one, only one left standing” she replied. “Five guesses who wasn’t left standing.”

“That ain’t funny” Zan declared but couldn’t bring himself to put any space between them.

“I never said it was” Reagan replied. “But it is what it is. I died, Zan… so did you. Both of our lives were taken because some egomaniac wanted more power than he was entitled to. It isn’t something we can change, no matter how many lives the scientists want to give us” she retorted and Zan couldn’t help but wonder whether or not she had known the scientists would send her to earth after death.

Emitting a quiet sigh, Zan nodded once in acknowledgement. “So tell me about the dreams” he requested and felt, rather than heard, her own sigh.

“He has the ability… whether it’s something I accidentally gave him or something he was just born with… he has it” Reagan guessed with a simple shrug of her shoulders. “I think our parental bond with him allows him to see things that affect our future. Combined with your mother’s incredible ability to dream walk, I think the two connect and then send the dreams to me” she deduced and Zan realized that as much as she knew, there was also so much she didn’t.

It never occurred to him before she was fumbling around in the dark too. She may have had his answers but she also had her own set of questions and no one around to help her through them. It was one thing to miss out on something, and never know it but it was another matter entirely, to know exactly what you were missing.

“I think that I’m able to accept it, because I once had the ability myself. As far your dreams… I think the bond he has with you allows him to slowly remove part of the block your mind has. The dreams you have… they’re your own memories and I think you can only see them at night, when you’re sleeping, because it’s the only time your mind is completely at rest.”

“A’ight” Zan acknowledged. “By why me?” he questioned. “Why not the other dupe, unless…” he trailed off as it occurred to him that his dupe was possibly dreaming of the same things he was. With that thought came another and involuntarily, his arms tightened around the beautiful girl in his arms as he imagined the other dupe meeting and wanting Reagan.

“To be honest… I have no idea” Reagan admitted though she had a number of possibilities.

Zan’s four had been podded first. His four were created with less of a block on their minds. His dupe’s four might not need the help she could provide. Their son might have felt a stronger bond with Zan.

There were two many ‘what ifs’ and not enough definites. “So then what happens now?” he queried, denying his mind the opportunity to wonder towards the possibility of losing Reagan now that he had finally found her.

“Well… since the night I found you, my dream changed” Reagan stated and recalled the vision which haunted her mind at night. “I can see your dupe and he’s sitting in conference with Lonnie, Rath and Ava’s dupe” she explained and tightly held her eyes closed, hoping to form a clearer picture. “He’s with the emissaries and Nicolas. Kivar wants the granolith, that much I understand but anything else is… still missing” she stated.

Zan easily read the disappointment she felt at not being able to come up with all the answers. Briefly, he wondered what she had been like as queen for the brief stint she spent on the throne.

“Don’t worry bout it. We’ll figure it out” he promised and enjoyed the rarity of sitting in peace, feeling, for the first time, complete.


~&~&~&~&~&


“Well, Max, have you made your decision?”

“Yes, I have. And the answer is no. I will not give up the granolith to you. Not to you, not to Kivar, not to anyone. It was entrusted to me.”

“You’re all witnesses. Kivar tried to be reasonable, tried to extend a hand of peace… and had it slapped away. Our business is at an end here. Our offers are withdrawn.

“You made a lot of enemies here today.”

“Do you ever wonder you were predecessor was killed? He made bad decisions.”

“No!” Reagan screamed as the final words of the dream jolted her out of restless slumber. Breathing ragged and skin slicked with sweat, she closed her eyes against the onslaught of images that refused to leave her mind. They may have all worn different faces but she recognized each of them as well as she would have known her own face.

Max… his name was Max. He looked different than Zan. Neater, shorter hair. No visible tattoos or piercings and a hard expression covering vulnerability. In some ways he was exactly what she remembered Zan of Antar to be but his strength was hidden or suppressed by fear of the unknown, a fear his predecessor had never shown.

Slowly, she began to calm her racing heart and it was then, that she felt him. Moments before his face appeared in her doorway, she felt Zan drawing near. “Hey, you a’ight?” he asked and didn’t hesitate before walking forward to join her on the bed.

Despite her earlier protestations, he had insisted, that he would be fine on the couch and that she should take her bed. Reagan had offered to share but he declined, claiming that the temptation of having her body beside him all night would be too great.

“What’s wrong?” Zan questioned and pulled her into his embrace.

His chest was bare and the skin that covered steel muscles was soft and smooth. He was warm, so incredibly warm and Reagan couldn’t resist nuzzling her cheek against him. His entire presence seemed to envelope her in a protective blanket and she wanted nothing more than to sink into it and remain at his side forever.

“Nothing anymore” Reagan replied and was glad when he accepted her answer.

There would be questions later. No matter how many answers there were, there would still be even more questions. He knew it as well as she did but for now, everything outside could wait. For now it was just two people who understood that they couldn’t change the past, but they could make the future better.

With the hum of traffic below them and the darkness of night to surround them, they drifted to sleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

It was the best night sleep either had ever had.

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Thanks La'Shon, Lindsay, Eve for the feedback and also to Crystal for sticking with me throughout the story. Hello to all the lurkers out there and I hope you'll all join me with "Retribution" which will be posted, hopefully before the end of the week. Thanks again!

Epilogue

With only the thick foliage and the single, broken down lighthouse as cover, Zan was barely able to dodge the series of blasts sent his way. In the distance, translucent blue shimmered, blocking thunderous jets of bright light before disappearing into thin air. With one target in mind, he shot his hands out, flinging two identical blasts out into the night.

The scent of smoke filled the air while a thin, white fog enveloped everything within a mile radius.

Footsteps echoed off of the hard, green lined earth. He turned in its direction, listening for the tell tale signs of an impending attack. His senses were refined… keener than they had once been, giving him the advantage over the raucous, revenge driven group.

A scream… her scream, but he didn’t worry. She was strong… stronger than he currently was and easily handled the handful of enemies who tried to trap her. She would fight them off, he had no doubt and turned his attention back to the rapidly approaching beings.

Years of practice remembered had him crouching low, finding cover in the raised grass. They were close, he could sense them and summoned a handful of energy. It gathered, coiling in his palm until it was bursting to be released. Steady and controlled, he held it and waited. Seconds ticked by with nothing but his breath and the heavy footfalls to fill the air.

He heard it in his head in a single breath before he released.

“Now!” his instincts told him.

The power shimmered a glassy white before it hit its targets. More smoke and the faint tinge of burnt rubber to occupy the air around him.

She was close… he felt her. Like a seasoned veteran, he avoided any and everything as he made his way closer. He was stronger when she was by his side. Moments of years past flooded his mind. Countless duels and afternoons spent sparing. He knew her way just as well as he knew his own and took comfort in the knowledge.

His eyes focused as he crossed further into the darkness. A fleeting image crossed his path before disappearing in search of cover. Zan felt her… turned his gaze to find her when something in the air shifted.

Energy... too much… too close.

“No!” she yelled, moments before he felt her energy push him away from the intrusion.

The sickening sound of power hitting flesh rang out, echoing throughout the makeshift battlefield. A feeling of nausea enveloped him, making it near impossible to hold in the sickness as his stomach threatened to empty its contents.

His listened… waiting for some sound and was meant with silence. Her name fell from his lips with a feeling akin to hysteria. His eyes searched as he forced himself to keep moving. A hand thrown out blocked another shot and a second blasted a nearby enemy. His acted on impulse… on instinct as his eyes remained glued to the land around him… searching.

She lay on the upturned soil with light puffs of smoke billowing around her. Anger and dread welled up inside of him as he dropped to his knees. Her eyes were closed, unseeing while panic took over. “No…No!” he demanded and lowered his hands. Moments before they held the power of death, now they held the power of life as he desperately tried to force a connection. “Come on!” he yelled at her.

She wasn’t moving, wasn’t cooperating and his hands reached at the problem, he pleaded with her to let him in.

“Please. Oh god, Reagan, please.”