Chapter 10
Maria's POV
**********
Max looks so hot when he opens the door. He always looks hot, but today it is different. Today, they were going to make love. I'm was going to finally be able to have sex with the one man that I love more than anything else.
"Hey baby," I say to him and give him a quick kiss on the lips. He quickly closes the door behind me and locks it. I know he is nervous. I can see it in everything about him. He's shifting his weight as he stands there. "We dont' have to do this, Max. I can wait until you are ready." I tell him.
It's true that my body is aching to feel him inside me, but i dont want him to do this if he isn't ready.
Max's POV
*********
Ready. Oh I'm more than ready. I'm just nervous. I want this to be perfect. I want to live up to her expectations. Unlike Her, i have to compete with someone else. I know i shouldnt be thinking about that. BUt i can't help it. What if i'm not as good as Michael? Oh Stop it Max.
"No, i'm ready. I just...i want this to be sepecial. I'm nervous." I tell her. There is no point in lying. I know she can tell that i'm nervous.
"Max, don't be nervous. This is going to be the best night of our lives. I know it." Maria said before she kissed me passionatly. Her hands went up my chest and around my neck.
"Wh...why dont we go upstairs?" i studder. It is had to think with her touching me anytime. But now that i know i'm going to be making love to her soon, i think that i'm doing well to talk.
"Mmm-Hmmm," Maria said and i led her upstairs to the bedroom.
Maria's POV
*********
Max's bedroom is amazing. He has so many candles everywhere. God, he is so romantic. Michael would never do that. God, STOP THINKING ABOUT MICHAEL.
"It's beautiful," I say to him.
"Your beautiful," he replied. God, i love this man. I take him by the hands and lead him to the bed. I sit down next to him. My hand goes up his arm and brushed his cheek.
He looks at me and we begin kissing again. This time deeper, more passionate. As if we are trying to get into each other's souls. I groan in his mouth as his hands come up to unbotton my shirt.
"Is this ok?" he asks.
i stop him and look him in the eye, "Max, you are doing everything right. Just do what your hear tells you. I promise, anything you do will be ok." i assure him.
He smiles and continues unbuttoning my shirt. Slowly he kisses more of my exposed skin. I play with the hem of his shirt and lift it over his head.
Max's POV
*********
Maria is beautiful. I know this. I've seen it. BUt it amazes me everytime. As she moved her hands to my zipper i'm not sure if i can hendle it. I'm already hard as hell, and i dont want to blow my load before she even touched me.
"Just relax," she tells me.
She quickly got my pants off and i pulled her skirt down. As we sat there, me in my boxers, and her in her thong i am in heaven. And we havn't even done anything yet.
She pushed me onto my back and i move up on the bed. I'm going to let her take the lead. She knows what she is doing. she leans into me and whispers, huskily, "Just relax, baby. Let me do the work."
My cock jumps at the thought. Slowly and seductivly, she slides my boxers off. Then she reaches for her panties. I stop her. That is my job. "Let me," i say and i hook my thumbs under the sides of her thong and slid them off of her.
I wonder if we are supposed to do somthing, like oral sex before we actually do it. I dont know. I've never done this before. But there we are together, naked on a bed.
Maria's POV
**********
I need Max. NOW. I need his cock buried deep inside me like i've never needed anything in my life. I lean into Max and whisper against his lips, "I need you. I need to feel you inside me."
He nods and moves to get on top of me. I lay back and he settles between my legs. He is shaking and i rub his back. Slowly, he calms down. I reach between us and take a whole of his cock. He hisses at the feeling. I guide him into me. I'm already dripping wet. Foreplay is not nessesary this time. I need him so bad.
Slowly he enters me, finally filling me to the hilt. "Oh Max," i breath as he begins to move inside me.
Max's POV
*********
I cannot belive how amazing Maria feels around my cock. This is better than getting head. And i thought that was fucking amazing. "Oh Fuck Maria," I groan. i can't even belive i said that. But MAria seems to like that.
"Max, fuck me harder," she pleaded. I'm more than happy to oblige. I feel myself reaching the edge. But it is too soon. So i start alternating my strokes.
Maria reached between us and begins rubbing her clit. Oh Yeah. I should be doing that, i realize. I push her hands away, and lightly press her clit. "Oh Fuck, Max. Right there." she screams.
I swallow her moans with my mouth as we kiss again. God i'm going to come any minute. I want her there with me.
Suddenly, i feel Maria's walls flutter around me. "Oh shit. Fuck. Oh My God. Max. Don't stop," she screams as she clamps down on my cock, signaling my release. I let go and come into her. "Oh Maria," I yell at the top of my lungs. That was the most amazing thing i've ever felt.
Maria's POV
*************
That was mind blowing. There is no other word for it. I guess there is a reason that people say that sex with soemone you love is always better. "Wow," was all i could say as Max rolled over next to me, taking me into his arms.
"Yeah, that what i was thinking," he said breathlessly.
"I love you, Max." i tell him kissing him lightly on the lips.
"I love you, too." He said.
"Can we do it again. This time, take our time?" I ask sweetly. Within seconds, Max is hard again and I push him onto his back, giggling.
TBC...
A Twist of Fate (UC, Mx/Ma, Mi/M, Adult) [COMPLETE]
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gnrkrystle
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Check out my Author's Thread: viewtopic.php?t=13258
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gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
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Chapter 11
Maria's POV
**********
It's been 3 weeks since i had sex with Max, and we havn't been able to since. I've had to work alot lately, and so has he. Plus, I had to spend time with Michael as to not raise his suspisions.
It's hard. Whenever we are together, we just cuddle and hold each other, which is nice, but i really want to make love to him again. I've continued to sleep with Michael. Its still very hard. It just get's harder, but i dont know what to do.
Max walks in as i'm cleaning the counter. He looks at me and we smile at each other. He still makes my stomach fil with butterflies when he enters the room.
"What can i get you, sir?" I ask with a grin.
"You." He said with a grin.
Now, if that doesn't turn you on, i dont know waht will. "Well, sir. That isn't on the menu, unfortunatly, so you just want a cherry coke, extra tobasco?" I say.
"Yeah," he replies. I go get him his drink and bring it to him.
"I got to go get dressed and then i'm off for the night," i say. "Wanna come back to my house?"
"Are you kidding?" He askes grinning from ear to ear. I get up and walk into the back room.
"Hey Mr. Parker." I say.
"Hey, Maria. Dont' forget to pick up the alien straws from your mom tomorrow." he says to me. Alien straws? Wait what day is it.
"Then end of the month. I am running low." Mr. Parker specifies at my confused look.
"Oh, yeah, ok." I say. It's May 30th already? Oh Shit. I'm late. What the hell am i going to do?
I change quickly and walk out to the dinning room. "Max, i can't hang out tonight. I forgot, i have to help my mom." i say quickly and walk out of the Crashdown.
Max's POV
**********
What the hell just happened. Maria looked scared. And she never turns down a chance to make out. There has to be somthing up. I'll have to see what is going on tomorrow.
I get up and get into my car. I'll just go home and relieve some tension on my own. I've had to do that alot lately. They hadn't had sex since that first time. It had just gotten too hard to find time. He was very frustrated.
Maria's POV
**********
After going to the drug store i show up at Kyle's. I didn't know where else to go. I can't be pregnate with Michael's child. I will lose Max forever. And if i'm pregnate it had to be Michael's. If i'm already missing a period i have to be more than 3 weeks pregnate. And come to think of it, Michael and i did forget the condoms a few times there.
Kyle opens the door to me, "What's wrong?" he asks me.
"I...Kyle...I'm in deep shit." i say entering the house.
Kyle's POV
**********
I lead her into the living room, "What happened? Did Michael find out?" I ask. I am pretty sure that is why she looks like she has been run over by a truck.
"No, he didnt. Kyle. I think i'm pregnate. I got the test. I just dont want to take it alone." Maria said with tears in her eyes.
Well, that was unexpected. "Ummm, ok. Well, lets take it. We can be sure before you get freeked out." That seems like the best idea to me.
She nods and makes her way to the bathroom. When she comes out, i set the timer and wrap my arms around her. "Maria, it's ok. NO matter what happens we can get through this."
"Thank you Kyle. For sticking by me." she tells me. Of couse i stick by her. She is my best friend.
When the timer went off we both made our way to the bathroom. She handed my the plastic stick. "You look, I can't." she says.
I turn it over.
TBC...
Maria's POV
**********
It's been 3 weeks since i had sex with Max, and we havn't been able to since. I've had to work alot lately, and so has he. Plus, I had to spend time with Michael as to not raise his suspisions.
It's hard. Whenever we are together, we just cuddle and hold each other, which is nice, but i really want to make love to him again. I've continued to sleep with Michael. Its still very hard. It just get's harder, but i dont know what to do.
Max walks in as i'm cleaning the counter. He looks at me and we smile at each other. He still makes my stomach fil with butterflies when he enters the room.
"What can i get you, sir?" I ask with a grin.
"You." He said with a grin.
Now, if that doesn't turn you on, i dont know waht will. "Well, sir. That isn't on the menu, unfortunatly, so you just want a cherry coke, extra tobasco?" I say.
"Yeah," he replies. I go get him his drink and bring it to him.
"I got to go get dressed and then i'm off for the night," i say. "Wanna come back to my house?"
"Are you kidding?" He askes grinning from ear to ear. I get up and walk into the back room.
"Hey Mr. Parker." I say.
"Hey, Maria. Dont' forget to pick up the alien straws from your mom tomorrow." he says to me. Alien straws? Wait what day is it.
"Then end of the month. I am running low." Mr. Parker specifies at my confused look.
"Oh, yeah, ok." I say. It's May 30th already? Oh Shit. I'm late. What the hell am i going to do?
I change quickly and walk out to the dinning room. "Max, i can't hang out tonight. I forgot, i have to help my mom." i say quickly and walk out of the Crashdown.
Max's POV
**********
What the hell just happened. Maria looked scared. And she never turns down a chance to make out. There has to be somthing up. I'll have to see what is going on tomorrow.
I get up and get into my car. I'll just go home and relieve some tension on my own. I've had to do that alot lately. They hadn't had sex since that first time. It had just gotten too hard to find time. He was very frustrated.
Maria's POV
**********
After going to the drug store i show up at Kyle's. I didn't know where else to go. I can't be pregnate with Michael's child. I will lose Max forever. And if i'm pregnate it had to be Michael's. If i'm already missing a period i have to be more than 3 weeks pregnate. And come to think of it, Michael and i did forget the condoms a few times there.
Kyle opens the door to me, "What's wrong?" he asks me.
"I...Kyle...I'm in deep shit." i say entering the house.
Kyle's POV
**********
I lead her into the living room, "What happened? Did Michael find out?" I ask. I am pretty sure that is why she looks like she has been run over by a truck.
"No, he didnt. Kyle. I think i'm pregnate. I got the test. I just dont want to take it alone." Maria said with tears in her eyes.
Well, that was unexpected. "Ummm, ok. Well, lets take it. We can be sure before you get freeked out." That seems like the best idea to me.
She nods and makes her way to the bathroom. When she comes out, i set the timer and wrap my arms around her. "Maria, it's ok. NO matter what happens we can get through this."
"Thank you Kyle. For sticking by me." she tells me. Of couse i stick by her. She is my best friend.
When the timer went off we both made our way to the bathroom. She handed my the plastic stick. "You look, I can't." she says.
I turn it over.
TBC...
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gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
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- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:56 pm
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Chapter 12
Maria's POV
**********
I'm waiting for the results. I'm trying to reas Kyle's face for and indication of what the test says. My palms are sweating. I'm holding my breath. "What does it say?" I ask tentativly.
Kyle looks me directly in the eyes, "Maria, your...your pregnate." he says.
I'm pregnate. I, Maria DeLuca, daughter of a teen mother am pregate at 18 years old. But more than that, I'm pregnant with Michael Guerin's child. Not Max's. Not the man i love's. Oh God!
Kyle's POV
**********
"Maria, say something." I say wrapping my arms aroung her agian. She hadn't said anything. She is just staring, like a deer in head lights.
"I have to...I don't know. Oh my god, Kyle. What am i going to do?" Maria asks me. I don't know any better than she does.
"You're sure its' Michael's?" I ask. I'm not sure how she knows.
"Yeah, it has to be. The timing with me and MAx just doesn't add up." She tells me. Oh. Oh, i get it.
I lift her chin to look at me, "Maria, everything is going to be ok. BUt you knw, you hvae to talk to Michael." I tell her. SHe nods. She knows i'm right.
----------------------
Maria's POV
************
I'm back at my house. I love Kyle. He is the best friend i could ask for. But he is right. I ahve to tell Michael about the baby. I hope he takes it well.
I pick up the phone and dial his number, there is no use putting it off. My life is basically over. I might was well get it over with.
"Hey, Michael." i say, "What are you doing?"
"Nothin, Why? What's up?" He askes.
"Can i come over?" i ask.
"Yeah, of course, baby." He said. Ok. Here goes nothing.
I walk into his apartment without knocking. He never cares. I practically live there when i'm not with Max. Max. Oh God! What am i going to do about Max?
"Hey baby." Michael says snapping me out of my daze.
"Umm, Hey. We need to talk." I tel him. I wasn to just get it out there.
"Ok," he says tentativly. I know he is concerned. I must be freeking the guys out at this point.
"Michael, I'm....I...I'm pregnant." i spit out finally. I can no longer hold back the tears. They are streaming down my face. Michael doesnt say anything for a while and i look up. A small smile had creeped acorss his face. "What is funny?" i ask defiantly.
He shakes his head and leans into me. "Nothing is funny. Its' just. i'm going to be a daddy." he says with a huge smile. There he is. Happy to be a father, and here i am miserable becuase i know that this means i can never go back to Max.
"But what are we going to do? I can't raise a kid in a small town like this. My mom is going to feek out. There is no telling what out friends will say. I dont think i can do this, Michael." I confess.
He frowns, "so, you dont want to keep our baby?"
"No! Its not that," I say. I could never get rid of our baby. He/She is part of me. And i couldnt do that to Michael either. "Its just that i dont think i can deal with Roswell and a baby at the same time." i tell him. ANd it is true.
He thinks for a long time. "Well, why dont we leave? Get out of here and raise our baby somewhere else. WHere no one knows us."
Leave? Could I? SHould I? I know that i should. I should pick up and leave with Michael. Leave Max to his life where he can go to college and become a Dr. or Lawyer and forget about me. It would be the best thing for him. And Michael does love me. He would protect me and the baby. Maybe i dont need romance. Maybe i dont need passion or love.
"Ok, let's do it." I say. THis is the best thing for everyone. Me, the baby, and Michale would be the family that we have both always needed and Max will be able to move on with girls that hare far less complicated.
Michael pulls me into his arms and holds me close. "stay with me tonight." he said. And i do.
TBC...
Maria's POV
**********
I'm waiting for the results. I'm trying to reas Kyle's face for and indication of what the test says. My palms are sweating. I'm holding my breath. "What does it say?" I ask tentativly.
Kyle looks me directly in the eyes, "Maria, your...your pregnate." he says.
I'm pregnate. I, Maria DeLuca, daughter of a teen mother am pregate at 18 years old. But more than that, I'm pregnant with Michael Guerin's child. Not Max's. Not the man i love's. Oh God!
Kyle's POV
**********
"Maria, say something." I say wrapping my arms aroung her agian. She hadn't said anything. She is just staring, like a deer in head lights.
"I have to...I don't know. Oh my god, Kyle. What am i going to do?" Maria asks me. I don't know any better than she does.
"You're sure its' Michael's?" I ask. I'm not sure how she knows.
"Yeah, it has to be. The timing with me and MAx just doesn't add up." She tells me. Oh. Oh, i get it.
I lift her chin to look at me, "Maria, everything is going to be ok. BUt you knw, you hvae to talk to Michael." I tell her. SHe nods. She knows i'm right.
----------------------
Maria's POV
************
I'm back at my house. I love Kyle. He is the best friend i could ask for. But he is right. I ahve to tell Michael about the baby. I hope he takes it well.
I pick up the phone and dial his number, there is no use putting it off. My life is basically over. I might was well get it over with.
"Hey, Michael." i say, "What are you doing?"
"Nothin, Why? What's up?" He askes.
"Can i come over?" i ask.
"Yeah, of course, baby." He said. Ok. Here goes nothing.
I walk into his apartment without knocking. He never cares. I practically live there when i'm not with Max. Max. Oh God! What am i going to do about Max?
"Hey baby." Michael says snapping me out of my daze.
"Umm, Hey. We need to talk." I tel him. I wasn to just get it out there.
"Ok," he says tentativly. I know he is concerned. I must be freeking the guys out at this point.
"Michael, I'm....I...I'm pregnant." i spit out finally. I can no longer hold back the tears. They are streaming down my face. Michael doesnt say anything for a while and i look up. A small smile had creeped acorss his face. "What is funny?" i ask defiantly.
He shakes his head and leans into me. "Nothing is funny. Its' just. i'm going to be a daddy." he says with a huge smile. There he is. Happy to be a father, and here i am miserable becuase i know that this means i can never go back to Max.
"But what are we going to do? I can't raise a kid in a small town like this. My mom is going to feek out. There is no telling what out friends will say. I dont think i can do this, Michael." I confess.
He frowns, "so, you dont want to keep our baby?"
"No! Its not that," I say. I could never get rid of our baby. He/She is part of me. And i couldnt do that to Michael either. "Its just that i dont think i can deal with Roswell and a baby at the same time." i tell him. ANd it is true.
He thinks for a long time. "Well, why dont we leave? Get out of here and raise our baby somewhere else. WHere no one knows us."
Leave? Could I? SHould I? I know that i should. I should pick up and leave with Michael. Leave Max to his life where he can go to college and become a Dr. or Lawyer and forget about me. It would be the best thing for him. And Michael does love me. He would protect me and the baby. Maybe i dont need romance. Maybe i dont need passion or love.
"Ok, let's do it." I say. THis is the best thing for everyone. Me, the baby, and Michale would be the family that we have both always needed and Max will be able to move on with girls that hare far less complicated.
Michael pulls me into his arms and holds me close. "stay with me tonight." he said. And i do.
TBC...
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gnrkrystle
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Chapter 13
Max's POV
**********
It's the day before Graduation and i'm waiting for Maria at her house. Her mom left this morning and isn't going to be home until Sunday. Can you belive that. Her mother is going to miss her graduation. I can't get over that.
She was acting weird last night and i need to find out what is wrong. It was like she was afraid to be with me. She is never like that. When she walked out of the Crashdown, i decided i would wait for her here and take her to school.
I see her pull up in the Jetta. I wonder where she has been all night. I hope she wasn't at Michael's. God, Max, you need to get a grip.
Maria's POV
***********
Oh, God! Max is at my house. I know he wants to talk about why i ran off last night. What do i do. Should i tell him? I get out of the car and he walks toward me, wrapping his strong arms around me. God, I love that feeling. I'm going to miss that. No one can make me feel as safe as Max does. I love that about him. I love lots of things about him.
But this can't be. I'm having Michael's baby. We are leaving together. A can't put Max through this. I step away from him. I can see he is hurt. It is all i can do not to break down and cry.
"max, we have to talk." I say leading him into the house.
"What's up, baby. Why are you so upset?" he askes running his hand through my hair.
"Can' you not do that?" I ask stopping his hand. It is impossible for me to concentrate when he is touching me. Reluctantly he stops and i continue, "Max, i can't be with you. I'm leaving."
He stands up, "WHAT?!" he screams.
Max's POV
***********
Leaving? She can't leave. ANd wherever she is going, i can come to. i can't give her up.
"I just, i have to. We can't be together." maria says as tears stream down her face. i can tell she doesn't want this. What is making her say this.
"Why? What happened?" i ask as calmly as my racing heart will allow.
"I'm pregnate Max. I'm pregnant with Michael's baby. We are going to leave. Get out of Roswell and start a family." She tells me.
That's it. My heart has officialy stopped. I can feel it breaking. But not in two. No, my heart is breaking into 1,000,000 tiny pieces. "Wh-What?" i ask. i know what she said, but i can't get a grasp on it.
"I have to leave. I owe this to my child." she says.
Maria's POV
************
"But what about us?" he asks me.
"There can't be and 'us'," I tell him. Though i want despirately to be with him and not Michael. "I love you, and i will always love you, but i can't change this." I say getting up to say goodbye.
"I can't leave you," he tells me with tear in his eyes.
"You have to," I cry. I'm am bawling at this point and i dont care. "You have to."
"I will never stop loving you. You are the only one for me." he said. My heart drops. He has to move on. If he doesnt move on, he will be miserable and i can't live with that.
"Max, listen to me. Even though i will love you forever, i want you to move on. I dont want you to waist your life. Now, you can become a doctor or lawyer and got to college and not be tied down. Live your life." I tell him. I want all those things for him.
"Maria, non of that means anything if i'm not with you." He says clinging to me. I have to get out of here. I have to go.
"MAx i have to go. I have school, then i have to pack. I need...i Need to go." I say and i leave. I can't be in there for one more second or i may change my mind.
Max's POV
*********
I'm not going to school today. There is no way that i can put up with all the last day crap and not fling myself from a 20 story bulding. and I most definatly cannot sit next to Maria, the love of my life, knowing that tomorrow she is leaving for some unknown place with Michael. To raise thier child together.
No, today i'm going to lay in bed and wallow in self pity.
-------------
Maria's POV
************
As i sit here, waiting for my Diploma, all i can think about is Max. And would you like to know why??? I'll tell you. DeLuca and Evans are right next to each other in our senior class. Yep, I'm sitting next to Max and i dont know what to do.
He leans over and whispers in my ear, "You dont have to do this. We can tell him the truth, and be together."
I feel tears stinking my eyes again, "Max. Dont make this harder than it already is. I have to do this." I say.
"But i love you, Maria. Doesn't that mean anything?" He says. I know he is hurting, just like i am.
"It means everything, Max. I love you to. But we can' always follow our hearts." I say, and that is it. Those are the only things we say to each other.
After Graduation, Michael and i go back to my house. I have to pick up my bags and leave a note for my mother. Yeah, she is going to be thrilled.
As i sit in my room i also write a note for Max.
Dearest MAx,
I love you with all that I am. You are my one true love and soulmate. If i had been stronger, i would have told Michael the truth from the beginning, like you were willing to. But i wasnt thatn strong. I'm still not that strong. I know that you will never forgive me. I doubt i will ever forgive myself, but i love my child and i know that this is the best thing for everyone. You can move on and be with girls who are normal, and dont have issues or children to deal with. And I can give Michael what he needs. A Family. But dont think for a moment that i will have gotten over you. You are the only man for me. I know you dont believe in god, but i am praying that one day we will meet again, in another life and we will be together.
All my Love,
Maria.
I stuck it in an envelope and sealed in then i jotted out a short note for my mom:
Mom,
Michael and i are gone. I know you are going to freek out. But it was the best. I'm pregnate and we are going to start our life together. We need this. I love you and i will email you later.
Love,
Maria.
Then we were off, make a stop at Max's to put the letter in his mailbox. After that, Roswell was dust in the wind.
TBC...
Max's POV
**********
It's the day before Graduation and i'm waiting for Maria at her house. Her mom left this morning and isn't going to be home until Sunday. Can you belive that. Her mother is going to miss her graduation. I can't get over that.
She was acting weird last night and i need to find out what is wrong. It was like she was afraid to be with me. She is never like that. When she walked out of the Crashdown, i decided i would wait for her here and take her to school.
I see her pull up in the Jetta. I wonder where she has been all night. I hope she wasn't at Michael's. God, Max, you need to get a grip.
Maria's POV
***********
Oh, God! Max is at my house. I know he wants to talk about why i ran off last night. What do i do. Should i tell him? I get out of the car and he walks toward me, wrapping his strong arms around me. God, I love that feeling. I'm going to miss that. No one can make me feel as safe as Max does. I love that about him. I love lots of things about him.
But this can't be. I'm having Michael's baby. We are leaving together. A can't put Max through this. I step away from him. I can see he is hurt. It is all i can do not to break down and cry.
"max, we have to talk." I say leading him into the house.
"What's up, baby. Why are you so upset?" he askes running his hand through my hair.
"Can' you not do that?" I ask stopping his hand. It is impossible for me to concentrate when he is touching me. Reluctantly he stops and i continue, "Max, i can't be with you. I'm leaving."
He stands up, "WHAT?!" he screams.
Max's POV
***********
Leaving? She can't leave. ANd wherever she is going, i can come to. i can't give her up.
"I just, i have to. We can't be together." maria says as tears stream down her face. i can tell she doesn't want this. What is making her say this.
"Why? What happened?" i ask as calmly as my racing heart will allow.
"I'm pregnate Max. I'm pregnant with Michael's baby. We are going to leave. Get out of Roswell and start a family." She tells me.
That's it. My heart has officialy stopped. I can feel it breaking. But not in two. No, my heart is breaking into 1,000,000 tiny pieces. "Wh-What?" i ask. i know what she said, but i can't get a grasp on it.
"I have to leave. I owe this to my child." she says.
Maria's POV
************
"But what about us?" he asks me.
"There can't be and 'us'," I tell him. Though i want despirately to be with him and not Michael. "I love you, and i will always love you, but i can't change this." I say getting up to say goodbye.
"I can't leave you," he tells me with tear in his eyes.
"You have to," I cry. I'm am bawling at this point and i dont care. "You have to."
"I will never stop loving you. You are the only one for me." he said. My heart drops. He has to move on. If he doesnt move on, he will be miserable and i can't live with that.
"Max, listen to me. Even though i will love you forever, i want you to move on. I dont want you to waist your life. Now, you can become a doctor or lawyer and got to college and not be tied down. Live your life." I tell him. I want all those things for him.
"Maria, non of that means anything if i'm not with you." He says clinging to me. I have to get out of here. I have to go.
"MAx i have to go. I have school, then i have to pack. I need...i Need to go." I say and i leave. I can't be in there for one more second or i may change my mind.
Max's POV
*********
I'm not going to school today. There is no way that i can put up with all the last day crap and not fling myself from a 20 story bulding. and I most definatly cannot sit next to Maria, the love of my life, knowing that tomorrow she is leaving for some unknown place with Michael. To raise thier child together.
No, today i'm going to lay in bed and wallow in self pity.
-------------
Maria's POV
************
As i sit here, waiting for my Diploma, all i can think about is Max. And would you like to know why??? I'll tell you. DeLuca and Evans are right next to each other in our senior class. Yep, I'm sitting next to Max and i dont know what to do.
He leans over and whispers in my ear, "You dont have to do this. We can tell him the truth, and be together."
I feel tears stinking my eyes again, "Max. Dont make this harder than it already is. I have to do this." I say.
"But i love you, Maria. Doesn't that mean anything?" He says. I know he is hurting, just like i am.
"It means everything, Max. I love you to. But we can' always follow our hearts." I say, and that is it. Those are the only things we say to each other.
After Graduation, Michael and i go back to my house. I have to pick up my bags and leave a note for my mother. Yeah, she is going to be thrilled.
As i sit in my room i also write a note for Max.
Dearest MAx,
I love you with all that I am. You are my one true love and soulmate. If i had been stronger, i would have told Michael the truth from the beginning, like you were willing to. But i wasnt thatn strong. I'm still not that strong. I know that you will never forgive me. I doubt i will ever forgive myself, but i love my child and i know that this is the best thing for everyone. You can move on and be with girls who are normal, and dont have issues or children to deal with. And I can give Michael what he needs. A Family. But dont think for a moment that i will have gotten over you. You are the only man for me. I know you dont believe in god, but i am praying that one day we will meet again, in another life and we will be together.
All my Love,
Maria.
I stuck it in an envelope and sealed in then i jotted out a short note for my mom:
Mom,
Michael and i are gone. I know you are going to freek out. But it was the best. I'm pregnate and we are going to start our life together. We need this. I love you and i will email you later.
Love,
Maria.
Then we were off, make a stop at Max's to put the letter in his mailbox. After that, Roswell was dust in the wind.
TBC...
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-
gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:56 pm
- Location: Indianapolis, IN
- Contact:
Chapter 14
Max's POV
**********
She is gone. I got her letter. Maria is gone forever and i dont know what to do. I know i'm freeking my parents out. They dont know why i'm not extatic about graduating and why i'm not partying...I'll tell you why, becuase my heart is broken and i dont think i'll ever be able yo mend it.
The only person i can talk to is Kyle. But i dont want to bring him down. He was Maria's friend too, and i'm sure he is already hurting because she left. I wonder is he knows why.
----------
Maria's POV
**********
Indianapolis, IN. That's where Michael is taking me and our baby. I've never been there, but i dont much care where we go. I dont care about anything. I'm a heartless bitch. I just through away the one good man i ever had becuase i dont have the balls to stand up to Michael.
But this isn't Michael's fault. And it isn't my baby's fault. It is soley my fault. So i will put on a hapy face, and i will make Michael believe he is the only one for me and that i love him. I will do that for him and my child becuase God knows i've betrayed them both terribly.
August 2002
Max's POV
**********
Maria has been gone for 2 months. Two months of hell. I haven't done much. Basically i spend my days working at the Crashdown. And i talk to Kyle as night. He was pretty sad over Maria leaving as well.
She hasn't contacted us. She called her mom once, but she never said where she was. Dammit. I wish i could go back to the beginning of this and give her the strength to leave Michael. Then it would be me she was with. Not him.
Kyle's POV
**********
Dammit Maria. Why havn't you called. I'm worried about you. Who the hell knows where you are. I hope you know that you have completely distroyed Max. He barely does anything. He's going to Roswell Community college next year, in hopes that you will come back. So much for leaving so that he can get a better education.
I miss you too though. You are my best friend. I miss you and i want you back.
----------
Maria's POV
**********
So, we are finally unpacked. We got an apartment in the city and we are all settled. Michael barely let me lift a finger though. He is so protective. I have to admit it is cute.
I've done some soul-searching, and i realize that everything is going to be ok. I may not love Michael, but he is good to me, and he loves me. But that is just today. I'm having a good day so i'm optimistic. You're lucky you didn't catch me on a bad day where all i can think about is Max. Those days, i rarely want to get out of bed.
Michael thinks it's just the pregnancy, so he leaves me alone. Little does he know that i'm pyning over Max Evans, his once best friend.
December 2002
Max's POV
***********
So, i tried to move on. I tried to give Liz another chance. But it didn't work. The whole time i was thinking abuot Maria. I wish she knew that i can't move on. I wish she understood that i love her and only her. Now it's Christmas time, and i wanted to spend this Christmas with her.
It would have been our first one. Instead, i'm helping the Christmas Nazi decorate her new apartment. Yeah, life really blows. God, if i could just hold her in my arms one more time. Maybe that would be enough. Who the hell am i kidding. I wouldnt be able to let go.
Kyle's POV
**********
Maria called today. The first time since she left. And i have to say i wa pretty pissed that it took her 6 mos.
"Hey Kyle," she said.
"Why havn't you called," I barked. I didn't want it to sound harsh, but i couldnt help it. I was worrie about her.
"I'm sorry, Kyle. I just...I couldn't. I'm sorry i left without saying goodbye. I just didn't think i could leave if i did." She told me.
"Maria, i was worried about you. I still am." I tell her.
Then she asked me the real question, "How's Max?"
"His heart is broken and the only reason he is doing well in school is becuase he wants to give you the perfect life is you ever come back" I tell her. There is no point in lying.
There was silence. "I thought he would move on." she said more to herself.
"Move on? Have you moved on? Do you wake up next to Michael and smile every morning? There is a reason we call it love. Its becuase you love Max and he loves you and everyone else will be a distant second." I tell her. God, i wish she would listen to me.
"I can't talk about this right now." she said, "Your jsut making this impossible situation harder." and then she hung up.
Dammit. She calls and all i do is lecture her. She'll call back. I know it.
---------
MAria's POV
*********
So, Max hasn't moved on. I'm happy, but sad. I'm glad that he loves me still (as selfish as that is) but i want him to be happy. And he wont if he is still wallowing in self pity.
But i can't think about it too much, It isn't good for the baby. I'm already on bed rest becuase of all the stress i'm going through, i've got to just clear my mind. As difficult as that may be.
I miss Max. I miss Kyle. I miss my mom. Hell, i even Miss Isabel. I want to go home. But i know i can't. I'm stuck.
TBC...
Max's POV
**********
She is gone. I got her letter. Maria is gone forever and i dont know what to do. I know i'm freeking my parents out. They dont know why i'm not extatic about graduating and why i'm not partying...I'll tell you why, becuase my heart is broken and i dont think i'll ever be able yo mend it.
The only person i can talk to is Kyle. But i dont want to bring him down. He was Maria's friend too, and i'm sure he is already hurting because she left. I wonder is he knows why.
----------
Maria's POV
**********
Indianapolis, IN. That's where Michael is taking me and our baby. I've never been there, but i dont much care where we go. I dont care about anything. I'm a heartless bitch. I just through away the one good man i ever had becuase i dont have the balls to stand up to Michael.
But this isn't Michael's fault. And it isn't my baby's fault. It is soley my fault. So i will put on a hapy face, and i will make Michael believe he is the only one for me and that i love him. I will do that for him and my child becuase God knows i've betrayed them both terribly.
August 2002
Max's POV
**********
Maria has been gone for 2 months. Two months of hell. I haven't done much. Basically i spend my days working at the Crashdown. And i talk to Kyle as night. He was pretty sad over Maria leaving as well.
She hasn't contacted us. She called her mom once, but she never said where she was. Dammit. I wish i could go back to the beginning of this and give her the strength to leave Michael. Then it would be me she was with. Not him.
Kyle's POV
**********
Dammit Maria. Why havn't you called. I'm worried about you. Who the hell knows where you are. I hope you know that you have completely distroyed Max. He barely does anything. He's going to Roswell Community college next year, in hopes that you will come back. So much for leaving so that he can get a better education.
I miss you too though. You are my best friend. I miss you and i want you back.
----------
Maria's POV
**********
So, we are finally unpacked. We got an apartment in the city and we are all settled. Michael barely let me lift a finger though. He is so protective. I have to admit it is cute.
I've done some soul-searching, and i realize that everything is going to be ok. I may not love Michael, but he is good to me, and he loves me. But that is just today. I'm having a good day so i'm optimistic. You're lucky you didn't catch me on a bad day where all i can think about is Max. Those days, i rarely want to get out of bed.
Michael thinks it's just the pregnancy, so he leaves me alone. Little does he know that i'm pyning over Max Evans, his once best friend.
December 2002
Max's POV
***********
So, i tried to move on. I tried to give Liz another chance. But it didn't work. The whole time i was thinking abuot Maria. I wish she knew that i can't move on. I wish she understood that i love her and only her. Now it's Christmas time, and i wanted to spend this Christmas with her.
It would have been our first one. Instead, i'm helping the Christmas Nazi decorate her new apartment. Yeah, life really blows. God, if i could just hold her in my arms one more time. Maybe that would be enough. Who the hell am i kidding. I wouldnt be able to let go.
Kyle's POV
**********
Maria called today. The first time since she left. And i have to say i wa pretty pissed that it took her 6 mos.
"Hey Kyle," she said.
"Why havn't you called," I barked. I didn't want it to sound harsh, but i couldnt help it. I was worrie about her.
"I'm sorry, Kyle. I just...I couldn't. I'm sorry i left without saying goodbye. I just didn't think i could leave if i did." She told me.
"Maria, i was worried about you. I still am." I tell her.
Then she asked me the real question, "How's Max?"
"His heart is broken and the only reason he is doing well in school is becuase he wants to give you the perfect life is you ever come back" I tell her. There is no point in lying.
There was silence. "I thought he would move on." she said more to herself.
"Move on? Have you moved on? Do you wake up next to Michael and smile every morning? There is a reason we call it love. Its becuase you love Max and he loves you and everyone else will be a distant second." I tell her. God, i wish she would listen to me.
"I can't talk about this right now." she said, "Your jsut making this impossible situation harder." and then she hung up.
Dammit. She calls and all i do is lecture her. She'll call back. I know it.
---------
MAria's POV
*********
So, Max hasn't moved on. I'm happy, but sad. I'm glad that he loves me still (as selfish as that is) but i want him to be happy. And he wont if he is still wallowing in self pity.
But i can't think about it too much, It isn't good for the baby. I'm already on bed rest becuase of all the stress i'm going through, i've got to just clear my mind. As difficult as that may be.
I miss Max. I miss Kyle. I miss my mom. Hell, i even Miss Isabel. I want to go home. But i know i can't. I'm stuck.
TBC...
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-
gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:56 pm
- Location: Indianapolis, IN
- Contact:
Chapter 15
February 2003
Max's POV
**********
Maria still hasn't called me. She has called Kyle a few times. I guess she askes about me. I wish she would come back. I'm starting to belive she is never going to come back. But i know that i need to give her space. I have to let her make these mistakes. And i will always be there to pick up the pieces.
It's almost time for the baby to be born. Well, who the hells knows. She could have already had the baby. I just wish i knew that she was ok.
I've been trying to date other girls, but i know that i can never get serious with any of them. My heart belongs to Maria DeLuca. i can't get it back, nor to i want to take it back. I love you. Yes, i'm stupid, and niave but i do. I love her. And i can't change that.
All i can do now as wait. Wait for her to come back, or contact me. Or maybe one day i'll get the strength to find her. All i know for a fact is, that i need her.
Kyle's POV
**********
Maria should be having the baby any day. I talked to her last week, and she is doing well, relativly speaking. Yes, her heart is till broken, but i can tell that she has much love for the baby insidde her. The baby keeps her spirits up.
I havn't talked to Michael, nor do i ahve any desire to, but i can tell her is excited about the baby too. God, i just wish everything could go back the way it was. When we were all happy and together.
-------
Maria's POV
**********
I am in deep shit. That's right. I've made a mistake. As i hold my daughter in my arms, i have to live with the fact that i am ruining Max Evan's life.
Not only, did i leave him to have a child with Michael. But i now find out that, that child is not Michael's, but Max's. While i'm extatic that Max and I have shared a child, i cannot take this away from Michael.
What the hell am i suposed to do? It is obvious that the child is Max's. Her ears stick out jsut like her daddy's. Besides, diring the labor i got flashes from when she was concieved. Max is the father alright. DAMMIT! I was so sure it was Michael.
Max deserved the truth, but Michael doesn't deserve to have his 'child' taken away from him. Then again, Max has been dating other girls, and he is doing well in school. I probably shouldnt burden him with this anyway.
I love him, i dont want him to give up his dreams and goals for me, yet again. I've really fucked up this time. Well, all i can do is try to make the best of things. And i pray that God forgives me for the deciet i seem to spout out in all directions.
TBC...
February 2003
Max's POV
**********
Maria still hasn't called me. She has called Kyle a few times. I guess she askes about me. I wish she would come back. I'm starting to belive she is never going to come back. But i know that i need to give her space. I have to let her make these mistakes. And i will always be there to pick up the pieces.
It's almost time for the baby to be born. Well, who the hells knows. She could have already had the baby. I just wish i knew that she was ok.
I've been trying to date other girls, but i know that i can never get serious with any of them. My heart belongs to Maria DeLuca. i can't get it back, nor to i want to take it back. I love you. Yes, i'm stupid, and niave but i do. I love her. And i can't change that.
All i can do now as wait. Wait for her to come back, or contact me. Or maybe one day i'll get the strength to find her. All i know for a fact is, that i need her.
Kyle's POV
**********
Maria should be having the baby any day. I talked to her last week, and she is doing well, relativly speaking. Yes, her heart is till broken, but i can tell that she has much love for the baby insidde her. The baby keeps her spirits up.
I havn't talked to Michael, nor do i ahve any desire to, but i can tell her is excited about the baby too. God, i just wish everything could go back the way it was. When we were all happy and together.
-------
Maria's POV
**********
I am in deep shit. That's right. I've made a mistake. As i hold my daughter in my arms, i have to live with the fact that i am ruining Max Evan's life.
Not only, did i leave him to have a child with Michael. But i now find out that, that child is not Michael's, but Max's. While i'm extatic that Max and I have shared a child, i cannot take this away from Michael.
What the hell am i suposed to do? It is obvious that the child is Max's. Her ears stick out jsut like her daddy's. Besides, diring the labor i got flashes from when she was concieved. Max is the father alright. DAMMIT! I was so sure it was Michael.
Max deserved the truth, but Michael doesn't deserve to have his 'child' taken away from him. Then again, Max has been dating other girls, and he is doing well in school. I probably shouldnt burden him with this anyway.
I love him, i dont want him to give up his dreams and goals for me, yet again. I've really fucked up this time. Well, all i can do is try to make the best of things. And i pray that God forgives me for the deciet i seem to spout out in all directions.
TBC...
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-
gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:56 pm
- Location: Indianapolis, IN
- Contact:
February 2004
Max's POV
*********
So, Maria gave Kyle a P.O. Box address to send mail to. I think she is scared that we will come and find her, so she didn't give him her address. Kyle won't even give me the PO Box, under threat of death. But i'm writting to her anyway. There are so many things i need to say to her. It's been almost 2 years since she left. And i need her to know that i still love her.
I talked to Kyle and he promised he would mail it to her for me. So here i go:
My Dearest Maria,
I love you more than any words on this paper could possibly convey. I do not know why our love can't be enough. I know that you do not love Michael the way you love me. i feel it everyday. Yes, i still feel you. The connection isn't as strong with the miles that must part us, but i do feel you. I know that you are not happy. And i know why. It is the same reason that i am not happy. I'm doing well in school. Majoring in Biology. I'm pre-med. I pray that one day i will be able to support you and love you the way you deserve. Would you please write to me? I need to know you are ok? Or call me. I promise i wont beg you to come back. You already know that is what i want. But i want to hear your voice again. That beautiful voice that can lighten any mood. God, i love you. I just want to know how you are doing. Please, dont shut me out forever.
With Love Forever,
Your Max
I hope she reads this and writes back, or better yet, calls me.
---------
Maria's POV
**********
I got a letter from Max today. I dont know if i should read it. Well, it isn't as if i could get more depressed. I know i'm making Michael crazy. All i do is spend time with my baby, Ally. She is my flesh and i love her. Besides, she is the only link i have to the man i truely want to be with.
Michael thinks it's post-pardum depressed. And in a way it is. I'm depressed becuase i'm away from Max.
I open the letter and read it. Tears well up in my eyes. He is so beautiful. And all i do is hurt him. I get out a pen and begin to write back. I dont think i could talk to him on the phone right now.
My Love,
I miss you. With every fiber of my being I miss you. I am a horrible person. The injustice i've done you is beyond excuse. You see i have a secret. No one knows this but me. Ally, my one year old daughter, is not Michael's baby. BUt infact your's. You see we DID share a child. We are parents. We created the most beautiful little girl the the whole world. With my blond hair and big lips and her daddies amber eyes and dumbo ears. She is beautiful. It is amazing to me that Michael doesn't see the resemblance. It is so aparent to me. But i want you to know that i dont expect anything from you. I dont want you to put your life on hold or come find me or anything. I am fine. I may not be happy or in love, but i am loved and my daughter is loved. Our daughter. I love you more than you will ever know.
Love,
Maria.
I re-read the letter and roll it up in a ball. No. I can't tell him. It would devistate him, and he would never be able to get on with his life. I can't do that to him. Havn't i done enough. i through the paper away and lay back down on the couch.
April 2004
Max's POV
*********
She hasn't written or called. Maybe it's too soon for her to talk to me. I dont know. I jsut know that it is killing me to be away from her. I love her. I need her. God, i'm hopeless.
TBC...
Max's POV
*********
So, Maria gave Kyle a P.O. Box address to send mail to. I think she is scared that we will come and find her, so she didn't give him her address. Kyle won't even give me the PO Box, under threat of death. But i'm writting to her anyway. There are so many things i need to say to her. It's been almost 2 years since she left. And i need her to know that i still love her.
I talked to Kyle and he promised he would mail it to her for me. So here i go:
My Dearest Maria,
I love you more than any words on this paper could possibly convey. I do not know why our love can't be enough. I know that you do not love Michael the way you love me. i feel it everyday. Yes, i still feel you. The connection isn't as strong with the miles that must part us, but i do feel you. I know that you are not happy. And i know why. It is the same reason that i am not happy. I'm doing well in school. Majoring in Biology. I'm pre-med. I pray that one day i will be able to support you and love you the way you deserve. Would you please write to me? I need to know you are ok? Or call me. I promise i wont beg you to come back. You already know that is what i want. But i want to hear your voice again. That beautiful voice that can lighten any mood. God, i love you. I just want to know how you are doing. Please, dont shut me out forever.
With Love Forever,
Your Max
I hope she reads this and writes back, or better yet, calls me.
---------
Maria's POV
**********
I got a letter from Max today. I dont know if i should read it. Well, it isn't as if i could get more depressed. I know i'm making Michael crazy. All i do is spend time with my baby, Ally. She is my flesh and i love her. Besides, she is the only link i have to the man i truely want to be with.
Michael thinks it's post-pardum depressed. And in a way it is. I'm depressed becuase i'm away from Max.
I open the letter and read it. Tears well up in my eyes. He is so beautiful. And all i do is hurt him. I get out a pen and begin to write back. I dont think i could talk to him on the phone right now.
My Love,
I miss you. With every fiber of my being I miss you. I am a horrible person. The injustice i've done you is beyond excuse. You see i have a secret. No one knows this but me. Ally, my one year old daughter, is not Michael's baby. BUt infact your's. You see we DID share a child. We are parents. We created the most beautiful little girl the the whole world. With my blond hair and big lips and her daddies amber eyes and dumbo ears. She is beautiful. It is amazing to me that Michael doesn't see the resemblance. It is so aparent to me. But i want you to know that i dont expect anything from you. I dont want you to put your life on hold or come find me or anything. I am fine. I may not be happy or in love, but i am loved and my daughter is loved. Our daughter. I love you more than you will ever know.
Love,
Maria.
I re-read the letter and roll it up in a ball. No. I can't tell him. It would devistate him, and he would never be able to get on with his life. I can't do that to him. Havn't i done enough. i through the paper away and lay back down on the couch.
April 2004
Max's POV
*********
She hasn't written or called. Maybe it's too soon for her to talk to me. I dont know. I jsut know that it is killing me to be away from her. I love her. I need her. God, i'm hopeless.
TBC...
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-
gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:56 pm
- Location: Indianapolis, IN
- Contact:
Chapter 17
May 2004
Maria's POV
**********
"Hey baby." Michael says to me, laying next to me in bed.
"Morning," i say with the bigest smile i can manage.
"Get up. I have a suprise for you." he says.
I get up and pull on my robe. Ally is still asleep, which is suprising. She is an early riser. "What's up?" i say entering the living room.
There i see flowers and candles everywhere. "Michael, what is this?" i ask in awe of the sight before me.
"It's for you baby. I know you hvae been down for a while. But i want you to know that i love you." he says. It's heartbreaking to watch him give himself to me, when he used to be so gaurded. I did that. It's too bad that I now am the one who has built the stone wall.
"I love you to," I say. And in a sense i do. I love him for taking care of me and Ally. I love him as a friend. BUt i do not love him the way that i love Max. I never could.
"I have a question for you," he says to me. He leads me to the couch and we sit down. Then he gets down on one knee. Oh God. This isn't happening. What am i going to do.
"I know that you are going through some issues. I know that you are not completely happy. But if i could make you happy and make you smile everyday, i would be complete." he says. Damn he is good.
"Maria DeLuca. Will you marry me?" I think. Maybe this is for the best. I mean i'm commeted to going down this road with Michael, i might as well get married.
"Yes," i say and hug him tightly. Part of me is happy, but a bigger part of me knows that once i marry Michael, there is not turning back.
----------
Max's POV
*********
I've written Maria a number of letters. I've given up on her replying, but i want her to know what i'm doing, and who i feel, so i keep writting.
She hasn't called Kyle in a while, but she said that she was doing well. She never gives details of her life of course. But I know that she isn't completely happy. Though for a while there her spirits were up. I could feel that.
God, Maria. Why can't you come back? We could work all of this out. i'm never going to give up on you.
My life now revolves around my schooling and career. People in my classes think i'm nuts, but if i dont throw myself into somthing, i will be nuts.
Just think, two years ago Maria and i were together and happy, now look at us. Both miserable. Both longing for eachother becuase we weren't strong enough to stand up to Michael then. If i could go back, i would. I would make her see that she didn't need him. That he didn't really need her. BUt i can't. So i just have to work on today.
Kyle's POV
********
I wonder why Maria hasn't called lately. i hope she is ok. Though, i'm sure Michael would let us know if she weren't. He knows that we all still care about her.
God, this is all jsut one big cluster fuck. I wish i could go back and tell Maria and Max to be honest with Michael. I feel like i gave them the worst advice in the world. Becuase of me they are both apart and miserable.
Yes, i'm blaming myself even though it is in now way my fault. Well, things usually tend to work out dont they?
TBC...
May 2004
Maria's POV
**********
"Hey baby." Michael says to me, laying next to me in bed.
"Morning," i say with the bigest smile i can manage.
"Get up. I have a suprise for you." he says.
I get up and pull on my robe. Ally is still asleep, which is suprising. She is an early riser. "What's up?" i say entering the living room.
There i see flowers and candles everywhere. "Michael, what is this?" i ask in awe of the sight before me.
"It's for you baby. I know you hvae been down for a while. But i want you to know that i love you." he says. It's heartbreaking to watch him give himself to me, when he used to be so gaurded. I did that. It's too bad that I now am the one who has built the stone wall.
"I love you to," I say. And in a sense i do. I love him for taking care of me and Ally. I love him as a friend. BUt i do not love him the way that i love Max. I never could.
"I have a question for you," he says to me. He leads me to the couch and we sit down. Then he gets down on one knee. Oh God. This isn't happening. What am i going to do.
"I know that you are going through some issues. I know that you are not completely happy. But if i could make you happy and make you smile everyday, i would be complete." he says. Damn he is good.
"Maria DeLuca. Will you marry me?" I think. Maybe this is for the best. I mean i'm commeted to going down this road with Michael, i might as well get married.
"Yes," i say and hug him tightly. Part of me is happy, but a bigger part of me knows that once i marry Michael, there is not turning back.
----------
Max's POV
*********
I've written Maria a number of letters. I've given up on her replying, but i want her to know what i'm doing, and who i feel, so i keep writting.
She hasn't called Kyle in a while, but she said that she was doing well. She never gives details of her life of course. But I know that she isn't completely happy. Though for a while there her spirits were up. I could feel that.
God, Maria. Why can't you come back? We could work all of this out. i'm never going to give up on you.
My life now revolves around my schooling and career. People in my classes think i'm nuts, but if i dont throw myself into somthing, i will be nuts.
Just think, two years ago Maria and i were together and happy, now look at us. Both miserable. Both longing for eachother becuase we weren't strong enough to stand up to Michael then. If i could go back, i would. I would make her see that she didn't need him. That he didn't really need her. BUt i can't. So i just have to work on today.
Kyle's POV
********
I wonder why Maria hasn't called lately. i hope she is ok. Though, i'm sure Michael would let us know if she weren't. He knows that we all still care about her.
God, this is all jsut one big cluster fuck. I wish i could go back and tell Maria and Max to be honest with Michael. I feel like i gave them the worst advice in the world. Becuase of me they are both apart and miserable.
Yes, i'm blaming myself even though it is in now way my fault. Well, things usually tend to work out dont they?
TBC...
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-
gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:56 pm
- Location: Indianapolis, IN
- Contact:
Chapter 18
April 2005
Maria's POV
**********
As i watch my precious 2 year old daughter, i think about my mother. Am i going to be like her? Am i going to be miserable and putting on a happy face for the rest of her life? I know my mom did that. I know she wasn't happy. She loved my father and he left her. The difference between me and her though, is that i love Ally's father and I left him.
Michael has been getting more and more distant. I think my moods are wearing on him. I think he thought after w got married that i would go back to that same old spunky Maria. But it didn't happen. I knew it wouldn't happen.
I've decided to write Max. I think i need to. To get it off my chest. To get my feelings out there. I'm not telling him that Ally is his. It would hurt him too much. But i am going to write him.
My Dear Max,
I can't really call you mine any more. That is my own fault. I know that. My problem is that i choose to make other's happy instead of myself. If i were selfish, i would run back to Roswell today and wrap my arms around you, the way that i used to. But i can't do that to Michael, God i wish i could. I wanted to tell you some things. First of all, i'm married to Michael. No, i don't love him like i love you, but i also couldn't keep him on a string forever. I owed it to him to get married. But i also want you to know that everytime i have sex with him, it is you i picture. It is you that i want inside me. And it is thought of you that get me through the day. That and my beautiful daughter. Her name is Ally. Allison Maxine DeLuca actually. God, i miss you. I debated about weather to write you. I want you to move on and be happy and i fear that if i write this and send it, you will not move on. That you will be miserable waiting for me. You see, i've written you 100s of letters. And all of them haved ended up neatly in the shreader that Michael bought me for Christmas. But now, i feel i owed it to you to write. Your the only man for me, the man i love, but please dont give up your life waiting for me. I'm not worth it.
All my Love,
Maria.
I put the letter in the envelope and seal it before i can stop myself and walk directly to the mailbox at the front of out building. I drop it in and say a silent prayer that I've done the right thing.
--------
MAx's POV
************
I got a letter from Maria today! I dont even know what to do with myself. I've been jumping around my apartment all day. I think my roomate thinks i'm on drugs. I'm about to open it. Wish me luck.
Wow. How can she not think she is worth my time. What do i have to say to get it through her head that she is the only one for me. I wish i knew where she was. I wish i could find her, wrap her up in my arms and tell her that everything will be alright. Becuase i do know that everything will be alright as long as we are together.
I get out a pen and write her back.
Maria,
I still am yours. I will always be yours. Dont you see that. I've tried to move on. I jsut can't do it. I've tried to get you out of my head. It wont happen. Anyone but you will always be a distant second in my heart. I understand why you can't leave Michael, i really do. it doesn't make this any harder. You dont know how much i wish i could hold you again. Make love to you again. Thank you for writting me back. I wish i could read the 100 letters you wrote before, but none of that matters. All that matters to me now is you. You and school are the only things on my mine. I'm starting my junior year in the fall. Two more years to go, and then medical school. I love you, baby. Never forget that. I love you and i always will. Please write me back, i love hearing from you.
Forever Yours,
Max.
Kyle's POV
*********
I guess Max got a letter from maria the other day. Thank GOd. I thought he was going to go nuts if he didn't hear from her. I dont knwo what it said, but from the conversations that i've had with both of them i can guess.
Maybe this is the start of somthing. Maybe maria will open her eyes and see that she and Max beling together. Knowing Maria, though, she will fight it. I just hope she doesn't fight too hard.
TBC...
April 2005
Maria's POV
**********
As i watch my precious 2 year old daughter, i think about my mother. Am i going to be like her? Am i going to be miserable and putting on a happy face for the rest of her life? I know my mom did that. I know she wasn't happy. She loved my father and he left her. The difference between me and her though, is that i love Ally's father and I left him.
Michael has been getting more and more distant. I think my moods are wearing on him. I think he thought after w got married that i would go back to that same old spunky Maria. But it didn't happen. I knew it wouldn't happen.
I've decided to write Max. I think i need to. To get it off my chest. To get my feelings out there. I'm not telling him that Ally is his. It would hurt him too much. But i am going to write him.
My Dear Max,
I can't really call you mine any more. That is my own fault. I know that. My problem is that i choose to make other's happy instead of myself. If i were selfish, i would run back to Roswell today and wrap my arms around you, the way that i used to. But i can't do that to Michael, God i wish i could. I wanted to tell you some things. First of all, i'm married to Michael. No, i don't love him like i love you, but i also couldn't keep him on a string forever. I owed it to him to get married. But i also want you to know that everytime i have sex with him, it is you i picture. It is you that i want inside me. And it is thought of you that get me through the day. That and my beautiful daughter. Her name is Ally. Allison Maxine DeLuca actually. God, i miss you. I debated about weather to write you. I want you to move on and be happy and i fear that if i write this and send it, you will not move on. That you will be miserable waiting for me. You see, i've written you 100s of letters. And all of them haved ended up neatly in the shreader that Michael bought me for Christmas. But now, i feel i owed it to you to write. Your the only man for me, the man i love, but please dont give up your life waiting for me. I'm not worth it.
All my Love,
Maria.
I put the letter in the envelope and seal it before i can stop myself and walk directly to the mailbox at the front of out building. I drop it in and say a silent prayer that I've done the right thing.
--------
MAx's POV
************
I got a letter from Maria today! I dont even know what to do with myself. I've been jumping around my apartment all day. I think my roomate thinks i'm on drugs. I'm about to open it. Wish me luck.
Wow. How can she not think she is worth my time. What do i have to say to get it through her head that she is the only one for me. I wish i knew where she was. I wish i could find her, wrap her up in my arms and tell her that everything will be alright. Becuase i do know that everything will be alright as long as we are together.
I get out a pen and write her back.
Maria,
I still am yours. I will always be yours. Dont you see that. I've tried to move on. I jsut can't do it. I've tried to get you out of my head. It wont happen. Anyone but you will always be a distant second in my heart. I understand why you can't leave Michael, i really do. it doesn't make this any harder. You dont know how much i wish i could hold you again. Make love to you again. Thank you for writting me back. I wish i could read the 100 letters you wrote before, but none of that matters. All that matters to me now is you. You and school are the only things on my mine. I'm starting my junior year in the fall. Two more years to go, and then medical school. I love you, baby. Never forget that. I love you and i always will. Please write me back, i love hearing from you.
Forever Yours,
Max.
Kyle's POV
*********
I guess Max got a letter from maria the other day. Thank GOd. I thought he was going to go nuts if he didn't hear from her. I dont knwo what it said, but from the conversations that i've had with both of them i can guess.
Maybe this is the start of somthing. Maybe maria will open her eyes and see that she and Max beling together. Knowing Maria, though, she will fight it. I just hope she doesn't fight too hard.
TBC...
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-
gnrkrystle
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:56 pm
- Location: Indianapolis, IN
- Contact:
May 2007
Max's POV
*********
I just graduated today. I'm excited to be starting NYU medical school in the fall, but i'd be more excited if Maria was here with me. We've been exchanging letters, and while she is still hesitant, she does write me back. I know she loves me.
She refuses to tell me where she is. I could easily figure it out. The postmark is on all the envelopes she sends me, but i am respecting the fact that she doesn't feel ready to see me. It hurts. It's been 5 years now. And i don't love her any less than i did 5 years ago.
She knows i'm going to NYU. Maybe she will come to me. I doubt it. I am not holding my breath. As i board my plane, i say goodbye to Roswell, NM. I know i wont be back. I know that i won't be able to face the memories there after I leave.
Kyle's POV
*********
I made it to First Deputy. I'm pretty stoked about that. Even though my dad isn't interested in the badge, i can tell he is thrilled too. But i'm still an unhappy man.
You see my two best friends are gone. Maria left 5 years ago due to bad choices, and Max left today for New York. Sure we will see each other, which is more than i can say for me and Maria, but it still sucks. I have no one.
Isabel and i have been talking to each other alot lately. I dont think she realized how hard marriage would be, but it isn't the same with her. She is a stranger to me now. It will be a long time before i can open up to her like Max and Maria.
August 2007
Maria's POV
**********
New York City. LeGuardia Airport. That's what my ticket says. I hope i'm doing the right thing. What the hell, i know i'm not, but i'm doing it anyway.
"So, I'll be back on Tuesday," I say to Michael. Things have been going better between us now that i am going to NYC for 3 days. My mood is lighter and i can tell he know is.
"Say hi to your mom for me." Michael said. Of course he thought she was going to Pheonix to see her mom.
"I will," I say and kiss him on the lips. "Are you sure you can take care of Ally while i'm gone?" I ask. I'm still a little worried. She is 4 and a half and into everything!
"I will be fine. You just have fun and relax." Michael says smiling at me.
I grab my luggage and walk out the door. Off to New York City. ONly this time i'll get to enjoy it.
TBC...
Max's POV
*********
I just graduated today. I'm excited to be starting NYU medical school in the fall, but i'd be more excited if Maria was here with me. We've been exchanging letters, and while she is still hesitant, she does write me back. I know she loves me.
She refuses to tell me where she is. I could easily figure it out. The postmark is on all the envelopes she sends me, but i am respecting the fact that she doesn't feel ready to see me. It hurts. It's been 5 years now. And i don't love her any less than i did 5 years ago.
She knows i'm going to NYU. Maybe she will come to me. I doubt it. I am not holding my breath. As i board my plane, i say goodbye to Roswell, NM. I know i wont be back. I know that i won't be able to face the memories there after I leave.
Kyle's POV
*********
I made it to First Deputy. I'm pretty stoked about that. Even though my dad isn't interested in the badge, i can tell he is thrilled too. But i'm still an unhappy man.
You see my two best friends are gone. Maria left 5 years ago due to bad choices, and Max left today for New York. Sure we will see each other, which is more than i can say for me and Maria, but it still sucks. I have no one.
Isabel and i have been talking to each other alot lately. I dont think she realized how hard marriage would be, but it isn't the same with her. She is a stranger to me now. It will be a long time before i can open up to her like Max and Maria.
August 2007
Maria's POV
**********
New York City. LeGuardia Airport. That's what my ticket says. I hope i'm doing the right thing. What the hell, i know i'm not, but i'm doing it anyway.
"So, I'll be back on Tuesday," I say to Michael. Things have been going better between us now that i am going to NYC for 3 days. My mood is lighter and i can tell he know is.
"Say hi to your mom for me." Michael said. Of course he thought she was going to Pheonix to see her mom.
"I will," I say and kiss him on the lips. "Are you sure you can take care of Ally while i'm gone?" I ask. I'm still a little worried. She is 4 and a half and into everything!
"I will be fine. You just have fun and relax." Michael says smiling at me.
I grab my luggage and walk out the door. Off to New York City. ONly this time i'll get to enjoy it.
TBC...
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