Change of heart, Adult/CC+UC&Slash

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Roswell4ever1
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Post by Roswell4ever1 »

(I hope this works. Liz and Maria are in the van right?)

~Michael~

Still standing at the side of the van, I hear everything being said inside. Sometimes alien powers are a curse. Other times, they just prove how big of a jerk I really am. Why did I let things get to this point? Oh yeah, to protect Maria. But how am I protecting her if she stays in some town we know nothing about where I can't keep an eye on her? As many times as I've told myself she should have stayed in Roswell, am I really prepared to let her go? No matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise, the answer is a big resounding no.

Walking around the side of the van, I stop in front of her and Liz and look down at my feet before making eye contact. "Can I talk to you a minute?"
She hesitates before nodding and getting out of the van. I start walking toward the building, Maria right behind me. Finding a place where I feel we can be alone, I turn and start to talk.

"The whole time we've been on the road, I've been telling myself you should have stayed in Roswell. You would have been safer without all the alien bullshit. And I blame myself for getting you into it in the first place." I took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"But I have something to say and you can take it for what it's worth. I do not regret being with you and I'm not prepared to let you go. I may be an ass, but I do feel. I love you Maria and it scares the shit out of me because I never know what's going to happen. I can't lose you." I choked out before turning around and starting back toward the van. Stopping, I turn back to her briefly. "Don't ever think I don't love you." with that said, I turn back and walk back to the van and slide down the side, sitting on the ground.

As much as I feel like she's in danger being with me, I know she'd be in more danger if she stayed here alone. And truth be told, I don't want to be without her. I never did. I reach up and wipe away the stray tear that fell at the thought of being without her. Even a stonewall cracks.
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StormWolfstone
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Post by StormWolfstone »

OOC: That was very nice! Hope this works... it kind of ran away from me while I was writing it lol


~Maria~


I was still waiting for Liz to answer me, to promise me that she wouldn't say anything when I heard footsteps come around the side of the van and looked up to see the very person I was going to have a hard time getting over. He looks at his feet before looking at me and I can't help but wonder what I've done now. He hardly pays me any attention unless I've messed up. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

I can't help but hesitate. Why would he want to talk to me now? Slowly I nod and get out of the van, sharing a brief look of confusion with Liz. When Michael starts walking, I fall into step behind him, my heart beating rapidly as I fear that maybe... maybe he has decided to tell me that he doesn't want me. To speak out loud the things I've feared hearing for weeks.

He turns to face me and I can't help but hold my breath, "The whole time we've been on the road, I've been telling myself you should have stayed in Roswell. You would have been safer without all the alien bullshit. And I blame myself for getting you into it in the first place." I'm tempted to interupt him right there, to stop him from blaming himself for my being involved. But, something about the expression on his face holds me silent.

"But I have something to say and you can take it for what it's worth. I do not regret being with you and I'm not prepared to let you go. I may be an ass, but I do feel. I love you Maria and it scares the shit out of me because I never know what's going to happen. I can't lose you." I heard the emotion in his voice even as he turned around and began walking back toward the van. When he turned back briefly, I had tears in my eyes that I was fighting to hold back at that moment.

He'd completely floored me with his admission and I wasn't completely certain how to respond. "Don't ever think I don't love you." He turns and continues walking and I can't seem to get my feet to move. He'd confirmed one of my theories I'd been trying to content myself with for weeks. For a while I'd simply let myself hope that he was just afraid of his feelings.. but after a while that hope had begun to die and soon I was just wanting to know one way or the other.

Now I did, now he'd said more then what he actually spoke aloud. As the tears swam in my eyes, I smiled. I felt the tension that had been with me a great deal lately, ease. He loves me, and I love him. Then as the tears fell I drew in a deep breath, how could he just say all that and then walk away... again. He's admitted things to me before and then walked off. This is one habit I'm wanting to find a way to change.

I wipe my eyes and then walk back to the van. Before going around to seek out Michael and have my say, I poke my head in to Liz and simply smile as I say, "Change of plans, Liz." Then, I walk around to where Michael is and kneel down in front of him, reaching a hand out to rest on his cheek.

"I really wish you'd stop saying things like that and then walking away before I can say or do anything." I spoke softly, teasingly with a smile on my face. "I love you, Michael. Nothings going to change that and my being a part of all this alien stuff isn't your fault. I made the decision that changed my life the very night I made Liz tell me the truth. Ever since then, I've been a part of it and drawn to it."

I take one of his hands in mine as I look at him, "Loving you has been the greatest feeling even if at times it's also meant hurting and being scared." I lift the hand I'm holding and place it against my heart, "Feel that, Spaceboy. It beats like that only for you. There could never be anyone else, I never want anyone else."

Okay, so I got a bit deeper then I expected, didn't quite say anything I'd mentally plotted out of the last several months. I only knew that what I said, what I felt was real and even if he didn't respond with words, I at least knew that he loved me. One thing about Michael, when he talks about feelings, I never have to worry about him simply saying something to turn my head. Michael wouldn't lie about his feelings.

Looking at him now, I didn't know what I wanted to do most, kiss him or yell at him for not saying anything sooner. Instead, I did neither, though I was tempted to do both. I simply looked at him, still holding one of his hands above my heart and still resting my other hand on his cheek which now simply starts gently caressing. I know, I'm a sap, I'm mushy, but I love him and I have had very few moments to share with him.

I also know that anytime now, Max and Kyle could return and Michael will probably go back to being all business, but maybe later, I just might get my wish and be held.
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Roswell4ever1
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Post by Roswell4ever1 »

~Michael~

I took my free arm and snaked it around her, pulling her closer to me. I know I was acting out of character but everything I'd done in the past ten minutes was out of character for me. Funny thing is, at this point, I really don't give a damn. Getting as close to losing the person you love as I did today tends to be a huge wake up call. I know ninety percent of our problems are my fault but I'm willing to try to fix that if she'll let me. While I'm on a role here, there's something else I really need to tell her. I wait a minute to try to compose myself before speaking.

"I'm sorry. For hurting you. I never wanted to." As long as we've been together, this is the first time I've ever apologized to her. It's something I should have done a long time ago but my head was too far up my ass to see what I was really doing to her. She was dying inside and I was the poison that was killing her. I have no doubt about that. I look up, finding her eyes with my own. "I'm sorry." I repeat.
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Post by StormWolfstone »

~Maria~

Michael wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer, something I wasn't quite expecting. Yet, if I was shocked with that.. well I was in for an even bigger one. "I'm sorry. For hurting you. I never wanted to." I've never known him to apologize for anything. Yet, here he was doing just that I and I wasn't quite sure what to think. What exactly had come over him?

I just look at him and as he meets my gaze I'm about to say something when he repeats, "I'm sorry."

I shake my head without realizing it, even as I say aloud, "I never thought I'd hear those words coming from you." I know my voice sounds shocked, I know that I also can't seem to get this expression of my face. I smile, unsure of what really to do or say, so instead I say, "I know you never meant to, Spaceboy."

And without a single word further, I close the distance between us enough to press my lips to his softly. I'd missed this, missed being close to him, missed everything about him. He was right there in the same van but he'd pulled away, so it had been as though he wasn't there at all. His apology really had surprised me a great deal. I loved him and that was something that wasn't going to change. I would stay for him, with him.
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Post by Roswell4ever1 »

~Michael~

I deepen the kiss, the idea that I almost lost her swirling around in my head. How could I have been so stupid? There's no way I could live without her. As much as I hated to admit it myself, because I didn't like needing anyone, I need Maria. I can't go back and fix all the hurt I caused but I can sure as hell work on what happened in the future. Pulling her into my lap, I broke the kiss, took a deep breath, looked into her eyes and did something that surprised even me.

"Marry me."
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Post by StormWolfstone »

~Maria~


Michael deepens the kiss and I willingly open to him. I feel him pull me onto his lap and settle in easily, a sound of disappointment slipping past my throat when he breaks the kiss. But, something about the look in his eyes kept me from saying anything.

"Marry me."

I know my eyes went huge, my mouth dropped in utter astonishment, "Did I just hear you right? I could have sworn you just asked me to marry you. But I couldn't have heard you right..could I? I mean, I...." I stop rambling as it truly starts to sink in and I shake my head, before I simply stare at him, tears filling my eyes. "Are... you sure that's what you mean to say? Do... you really want to marry me?"

I paused and looked at him, afraid that if I didn't say anything more he'd change his mind, yet afraid that if I did, he would still change his mind. "Cause, if you really do mean it... and you really want to marry me.. I'd never in a million years say no. I would love nothing more, but I don't want you to feel like we have to be married..." The expression on his face causes me to shut up and I draw in a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down as I look into the eyes that belonged to the man I love.
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Post by Roswell4ever1 »

~Michael~

I listen to her rambling and all I can do is smirk. This is true Maria fashion. She rambles when she gets nervous, she rambles when she gets scared and just about any other time too. But I love that about her.

Am I really doing this? Am I really asking Maria to marry me? Yesterday I wouldn't have done this. Not because I didn't want to but because I was too afraid of her getting hurt. But in reality I think I was as afraid of me getting hurt as much as I was her. But it's time to move on. I have to live my life and I can't do that if I hold myself back from everything I want. Looking at her, I can't help but smile, which is something I haven't done in a long time.

"You've known me long enough Maria to know that I don't say things I don't mean. I know we don't have to but I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to."
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Post by StormWolfstone »

~Maria~


"You've known me long enough Maria to know that I don't say things I don't mean. I know we don't have to but I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to." He's smiling at me as he says that and I'm just for a moment very speachless. I can feel my heart hammering strongly in my chest, feel my pulse race and I wish, more then anything that I was able to speak. I opened my mouth a couple times to do so, but no sound came out even as I sat there, my head nodding in response.

I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat, finally making it so I can say something. "Yes," I throw my arms around his neck with a smile, "I
will marry you, Spaceboy." I doubt that he understands exactly how happy he's just made me, how much I had thought that we'd never get to this point. I'm sure he doesn't realize that I had been perfectly content to simply be his girlfriend for the rest of my life, even though there had been dreams of being his wife.

I was simply willing to settle because I love him with all of my heart. I just couldn't and wouldn't have let myself stay if I'd had to keep guessing about how he felt. The idea of being engaged and getting married to him was great and all, but I was even happier knowing how he feels about me, having heard him tell me he loves me.

"I love you, Michael." I'm barely containing a squeal of delight or the urge to run and tell Liz. I'm also barely keeping myself from ravishing Michael with all sorts of kissing and such.
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Post by Roswell4ever1 »

~Michael~

Letting out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in, I wrap my arms around her and drop my head onto her shoulder. I was afraid when I first asked that she would say no because of our past. Because of the problems we had. But she surprised me and I was so...relieved.

"I love you too Maria." My voice was barely above a whisper.
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Post by AntarPrince04 »

Blah, I'll stick to slash thanks lol

Max

For a second I stand there and kick myself. I didn't wanna hurt him and I know that's not what he was gonna say. Damn it, I feel like I'm in High School again.

Off in the distance I hear Michael yell. "...We...Better go", I turn and follow Kyle back.

OOC: Short I know, sorry I lost my original post
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