Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me! It's all property of the assholes that be.
The song belongs to Collin RayeSummary: The letter that Isabel put in Alex's coffin in Cry Your Name
My Beloved Alex,
What to say? I sit here, in the dark and dankness of my room. The lights are turned down, everyone rests peacefully in their beds. But me? I don't think I'll ever sleep so peacefully again. You see, tonight, my entire world slipped away from me. It's funny, really. I have gone through my entire life never wanting to let anyone in, for fear of rejection.
But not you.
You broke through my barriers like they didn't even exist. Maybe for you they didn't. Someone so caring, so loyal. You never gave up on me. Even when I told you...God...when I told you that you suffocated me. Never once did you turn away from me. See, my love, you are one of those once in a lifetime people.
But you're gone now. And you won't ever be back, will you? Try as I might, I can't seem to be angry. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be angry with you for leaving me here, but tonight I'm incapable of feeling. If I let even a slip of emotion slip through, they might overcome me. They might kill me. Part of me thinks that this is just a dream. A very bad dream that I'm going to wake up from.
Because you wouldn't leave me. You love me. But as I glance around my empty room, I feel emptier inside. Because I know it's true. I know the truth. And the truth is that you're gone.
I want you to know that you take with you my heart. Your memory will live on, if nowhere else, deep inside of me. You are my guiding light. You are my angel. And, my precious Alex, I will never forget you. The light in your eyes, the curve of your smile, the softness in your touch. They're all burned into my memory, into my soul.
You changed me, whether you realized it or not. Your faith, your loyalty, showed me what was real in this life. Not my planet, or my past life. Just you and the love you gave to me. I know that at night, when I lay down to fall asleep, you'll be there to hold me. I know that when I cry from the heartache of losing you, your arms will surround me.
You will never leave me, as I will never forget you. So take with you the knowledge that you mean the entire world to me. It's true what they say, you know? You never do know what you have until it's gone. All this time, all those times...but you never left me. You're my soulmate, Alex. My first and only love. You're my husband, Alex. In my heart, you're my everything.
So tonight, when I lay down and fall into a restless sleep, hold me tightly. Breath your love into my heart, fill my heart with your presence. That is the only way I'll make it through tonight. Your love means more to me than you could ever imagine.
And no matter the cost, no matter the price, no matter the expense, you will never be forgotten.
I love you, today, tomorrow, and forever my dear sweet beloved Alex.
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you . . .
My vow to you, my beloved.
With all my heart. With all my sorrow. With all my soul.
Yours Always and forever.
~Isabel Evans
