Facing Your Fears, CC, M/M, TEEN Complete

[desertskies]

Thanks to Mary for the wonderful banner!!!

Author: Susan
email:susan@lost-fanfic.com
category: M/M with Ma/Ma friendship
rating: TEEN
Disclaimer: I wish I did but I don't own them. I only borrow them once in awhile.
Summary:This story starts there and Michael leaves instead of coming back. What happens because of it?
Authors Note: Scenes from Independence Day are taken from the transcipt.

(Max goes to the trailer park in search of Michael and walks in on him as he's packing)

MAX: Packing?

MICHAEL: You could call it that. Everything I have fits in this bag.

MAX: You have me. You have Isabel.

MICHAEL: Say goodbye, Max.

MAX: I can't.

MICHAEL: We'll keep in touch, all right?

MAX: It's not good enough.

MICHAEL: Well, it's gonna have to be, all right? So say goodbye.

MAX: I can't.

MICHAEL: Max...

MAX: I know what you're scared of, Michael.

MICHAEL: No, you don't.

MAX: You keep telling me how lucky I am...to have a great home, great parents. But in one way, it's harder for me, because when I screw up, I have no excuses. But you, you can do and say anything you want because you have Hank, and you can blame it on that. But what happens without him? It'll all be on you, that's what.

MICHAEL: Well, leave it up to me to still screw it up, huh?

MAX: It's ok, Michael, because if you do, we'll all still be there for you. Maybe you have to start thinking about someone other than yourself, Michael. The 3 of us belong together. There's a reason that we're together. We're family. So, go if you want to, but no matter where or how far, we will always be connected. Isabel and I wanted you to have this. It means nothing without you.

MICHAEL: See ya.

(Michael takes off)

***

He knocked on the window gently, not wanting to wake Amy Deluca. Being hit in the head with a newspaper once was enough for him. He was about to knock again when the beaded curtains parted and he saw Maria. She opened the window just enough so they could talk to each other.

“What are you doing here, Michael? If my Mom finds you she is going to freak?” Maria whispered.

“I know. Sorry. I just wanted to tell you goodbye.” Michael said, his eyes never quite meeting hers.

“Goodbye? What’s going on, Michael?” Maria asked, her voice rising to almost a shout.

“Shhh. You’re going to wake your mom. Listen, I know things have been kind of screwed up with us but the other night well, you know… you didn’t have to let me in. So thanks. Anyhow, it’s time for me to move on and I wanted you to know that I was leaving.” Michael was able to get out. There was so much more he wanted to say to her but the words just wouldn’t come. He only hoped Maria understood what he couldn’t say.

“Michael,” Maria whispered his name, tears falling down her cheeks.

Michael reached through the window and brushed the tears off her cheek. Maria grabbed his hand and held it to her face. “Don’t go, Michael. Please.”

He tried to pull his hand from her face but Maria held on tightly. “I have to, Maria. I can’t stay here any longer. There is nothing left here. I need to go find my real home. To find Nacedo.”

“Nothing left here! What about Max and Isabel? What about me? Aren’t we important at all?” Maria shouted.

Michael closed his eyes. First Max and now Maria. They were trying to pull him back to a life he didn’t want, to a place he didn’t want to be. All he wanted was to find his home, his REAL family. Why couldn’t they understand?

“Maria, I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m leaving. End of story. I just didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. So goodbye.” Michael yanked his hand from Maria’s and turned to leave.

Maria opened the window higher and jumped out after him. “Michael, wait.”

He reluctantly turned and faced her. “Maria, let me go.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. Michael was asking the impossible from her. From the moment she saw him through the window she knew that something monumental was about to happen. She just couldn’t grasp that he was actually leaving. Maria felt that something important had happened between them the other night. Michael had come to her and had let her in, had let her see his pain. It was a major step for him. But now he was throwing that all away. And why, to find a family that most likely didn’t exist and a home he knew nothing about. He was giving up the people who care about him for a dream.

“I can’t, Michael. Don’t you understand? I care about you. I l..”

Michael wouldn’t allow her to finish. “No Maria, don’t say it. I know. Ok? I know but that isn’t going to change the way I feel or the fact that I am leaving.”

Michael watched the emotions change on her face from love to anger to sorrow and finally to acceptance. “Just for the record, I care too. But it isn’t enough. I’m sorry.”

Maria and Michael both stepped forward at the same time and he pulled her into his arms and leaned down and kissed her one last time. They remained in each others arms holding each other close for a long time until Michael finally pulled away. “I have to go.”

“I know. Be safe, Michael. Please.” Maria said sadly.

Michael nodded his head. “I’ll let you know that I am ok.” Michael said.

He would let her know but he wouldn’t keep in touch with Max and Isabel. He couldn’t and he wanted to make sure she understood. “Just you. Ok?”

“Michael…” Maria was about to protest that he should let Max and Isabel know if he was ok at the very least. They were his family. But then she saw his eyes and knew that if he was going to leave he had to break his ties with them until he found what he was looking for. Solemnly, Maria agreed. “I promise. I won’t tell them. Just contact me, ok? Please?”

“I will. See ya.” Michael said turning his back on Maria. He didn’t dare turn around because if he did, he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave.

***

(Michael is at the side of the road trying to hitch a ride and a guy driving a pickup truck finally stops for him)

DRIVER: What a joke.

MICHAEL: Huh?

DRIVER: Roswell. Wouldn't bother, but it's on my southwest route. Sell a lot of soda in these tourist towns.

MICHAEL: Yeah, right.

DRIVER: I don't know why in the hell they come here. Aliens, I guess.

(Michael opens the pouch that Max and Isabel gave him and the stones fall into his open hand. He moves them around in his hand for a little while, thinking of their significance)

TRUCKER: Ain't no aliens in that town. Let me ask you something. If you were an alien, you can go anywhere in the world, would you pick Roswell?

TRUCKER: Trust me, there ain't nothing in that town.

(Michael starts seeing the flashbacks that he saw during the balance ceremony, of him and Max and Isabel together)

“Goodbye.” Michael whispered as the trucker continued to ramble on about what a worthless town Roswell was. As he started in on how he really hated his job, Michael tuned him out and tried very hard not to think about what he was leaving behind.

TBC...

[desertskies]

Thanks [/b]roswellluver, icequeen, ella and LTL[/b] for your feedback. This story isn't long, only a few parts but I hope you enjoy it.

Part 2

***

Five months later

“And he said what?” Maria asked Liz absolutely stunned.

“For the third time Maria, Max said that he didn’t think we should be together. That maybe the book was right and he should give it a try with Tess. Maybe she was his destiny after all.” Liz said trying to contain her tears. She couldn’t blame Maria for being shocked because she was herself. Ever since they shared those flashes and found the orb, she and Max had been together. Max had kissed Tess once but that was Tess doing something to him. Max insisted that she was the one that he loved and he said that they made their own destiny but now he was taking it all back.

“What the hell is going on? I swear to god, everything is going to hell in a handbasket.” Maria shouted and started to pace. “I mean, I know the boy went through hell in that place and he hasn’t actually been the same since we got him out but come on. Tess. I don’t think so. Not even Max is that screwed up.”

Maria started to babble about Gerbels and alien sluts. Liz didn't even try to follow, she just sat and wallowed in her own self pity until she remembered she had to tell Maria that she was leaving for the summer.

“So anyhow Maria, I can’t stay around here right now. I can’t see Max and her together so I am going to go visit my aunt in Florida for the summer.” Liz said quickly knowing that Maria was going to be upset. She took Michael leaving pretty hard and she just hoped that Maria wouldn’t take her leaving as abandonment as well.

Maria stopped pacing, her mouth slightly open as she stared at her best friend. ‘Did Liz say she was leaving too?’ Maria couldn’t believe that she was leaving her too. Liz of all people knew how she would feel but she was actually doing it anyway. Liz was going to leave her too. First her dad, then Michael and now Liz. How much more was she expected to take?

“Ok.” Maria said and walked away.

Liz didn’t even try to stop her. She knew there was nothing she could say that would make Maria feel any better. She was taking the coward’s way out. Liz knew this but hoped that someday Maria would understand and forgive her.

***

A week later…

“So she left?” Max asked Maria as she was cleaning up the Café after the night rush.

“Yep. She left on a jet plane and she doesn’t know when she will be back again.” Maria said absentmindedly.

“Huh?” Max asked confused. He thought she was just leaving for the summer.

Maria laughed when she realized what she had just said. “Sorry Max. I have that damn song in my head. You know ‘cause I’m leaving on a jet plane. Don’t know when I’ll be back again.’” Maria sang the words to the song Leaving on a jet plane.

Max couldn’t help smiling at Maria. She was so quirky at times and who would have known she had such a good voice. “I almost forgot that you sing.”

“You mean used to sing. I haven’t done that in a while, not since that blind date concert.” Maria could have kicked herself for reminding Max about that night. She added quickly, “Sorry Max. I forgot.”

“It’s no big deal, Maria. It feels like such a long time ago now. So much has happened since that night.” Max said, his tone becoming monotone once again.

Maria sat down in the chair next to Max’s. She had been furious with the boy at first when Liz told her what he had said to her but seeing him now, Maria knew that Max didn’t give a damn about Tess or his destiny. He still loved Liz but something made him push her away and Maria had an idea what. “Max, why didn’t you just tell Liz about what the Special Unit did to you? Why did you push her away instead?”

Max was genuinely surprised. He never thought of Maria as someone with great insight into other people. A little neurotic sure but not insightful. “I… I don’t know what you are talking about, Maria.”

“Max, I’m blond but I’m not stupid. Anyone with an ounce of intelligence could see that you aren’t really interested in Tess. Sure, you may want to know about her because she is like you and obviously knows more than you about who you are, but you don’t want to be with her. And for Godsakes Max, you risked everything for Liz so you aren’t about to convince me that you don’t love her. I know better than that. So the only thing that makes sense is that you are pushing her away because you can’t deal with something. And that something has to be the White Room and what happened to you there.”

Maria just looked at Max. She could tell that she was right. He wouldn’t look her in the eyes and that was a sure sign that she had hit the nail right on the alien’s head. Max let out the breath of air he had been holding for the last few minutes. There wasn’t any use trying to lie to her. “I can’t talk about it, Maria. I can’t deal with it. Ok? And I was just making Liz miserable because I can’t even let her near me because I am afraid that if we kiss she will see too much. I need to work this out and then maybe I can be with Liz, but I can’t right now.”

“But Max, what if it is too late then?” Maria asked knowing that it would never be too late. Liz Parker would always be there for Max. He was the love of her life.

Max looked into Maria’s eyes hoping to figure out what she was trying to say. It had only been a week, Liz couldn’t have possibly moved on yet. Could she? “I guess that is a chance I have to take. Maria, it’s better for her this way. I’m no good for her like this.” Max said sadly.

Maria placed her hand on his. “But what about you Max, is it better for you? You just said you can’t deal with it. If you can’t deal with it, then how are you going to be able to work it out?”

“I just need some time, Maria. I will be fine.” Max said trying to convince himself as much as Maria. The hell that he endured in the White Room was something he wasn’t sure that he could ever possibly forget or get over. He waited for them to rescue him but it took much longer than any of them planned. He knew that Isabel, Tess and Nacedo were out there. He could almost feel them but they couldn’t get past the security at Eagle Rock. It actually took Valenti of all people working with the aliens to rescue him. It was the time that he waited for rescue that was permanently imbedded in his brain. The hours of testing and torture he endured was something he was not likely to ever forget no matter how much time passed.

Maria went back to cleaning and left Max to think about what they talked about. He watched her as she piled the dirty plates and cups into the tub to take back to the dishwasher. Max knew that the last few months had been as hard on her as anyone. Michael leaving wasn’t easy for her. They were close and he knew that she loved Michael a lot.

On the other side of the room, Maria’s thoughts were also on the lost alien. She had received several postcards from him since he had been gone. There was never a return address or even a message, just a postcard from some random location with her name and address written on it. The last card came from New Orleans. Maria knew he was no longer there. She was sure that he sent the postcards when he was leaving a particular place. Michael didn’t have to though. She wasn’t going to go looking for him and she wouldn’t break her promise and tell Max or Isabel that she received them.

“Max, do you ever think about Michael?” Maria suddenly asked

Max was momentarily surprised that Maria would bring him up. She had done her best to avoid the subject for months. “All the time.” He answered honestly.

Maria wondered even if she did tell them would they would go looking for him. “If you knew where he was or where he might be, would you go looking for him?” Maria thought she knew the answer to the question but for some reason she wanted to hear him say it.

“Honestly?” Max asked and when Maria nodded, he continued. “No. It was Michael’s decision to walk away. All he had to do was ask for help and so much could have been different. But instead he did what Michael does best. He ran away. And the rest of us paid the price for it. We needed him and he wasn’t here.”

Maria understood where Max was coming from but still, Michael was his family. “But Max, he’s your brother.”

“Is he? You saw the book, I don’t think he is. And anyhow, would a true brother leave his family like he did. Maria, I was in the White Room for days. If Michael had been here maybe I would have been rescued sooner. Instead, Liz had to go to Valenti, our enemy, for help. Do you know what could have happened if Valenti hadn’t been trustworthy?”

“I know Max, but luckily he was. He killed Pierce to save you and almost lost Kyle in the process.” Maria added

Kyle had been in the displays behind Pierce and had almost died by his own father’s hand but Max had healed him as he had Liz months earlier. He couldn’t let Kyle die because of him even if it did mean sharing their secret with more people.

Max couldn’t deal with thinking about Pierce so instead his thoughts drifted back to Michael. He still couldn’t quite believe that Michael had actually walked away like he did. He actually thought he had hit a nerve with him when he spoke to him when he was packing at the trailer. But he was wrong. Once in a while he would hear Isabel in her room crying and he knew the tears were for Michael, because he left them once again. As much as Max missed his brother, he wouldn’t cry over him because it was his decision to run away.

“You know what’s really ironic, Maria? That Michael left to find Nacedo and his home and he and Tess actually came here looking for us. Michael is on some Quest that he will never find unless he comes back to Roswell.”

Maria looked at Max sadly. “I wish there was some way we could tell him.”

As much as Max loved Michael, he also couldn’t help hating him for abandoning them when they needed him the most. He hoped that someday Michael would come home and he would have the chance to try to forgive him. “Isabel has tried to contact him like she did me in the White Room but Michael will not let her in. He left of his own free will and he will have to find his way back on his own.”

Maria shook her head knowing that Michael was truly lost to her. Her love for him was not enough to keep him here and neither was the love, and she knew it was love, he felt for her. Maria assumed they were never meant to be. They would never have gotten together if it hadn’t been for her learning his secret. If Liz had not been shot that day their lives never would have been intertwined. It made her sad but she accepted the reality of it a long time ago. Maria still loved him. She probably always would but she would not wait for his return because it was unlikely to ever happen.

Maria suddenly wanted to change the subject. “So have you heard from Nacedo lately?”

“Nacedo is still in Washington, DC doing what he can to have the Special Unit disbanded so the threat against should soon be gone.” Max told her. He actually hoped he didn’t see him again until it was all over. He couldn’t stand to see Nacedo in Pierce’s form. It brought back too many emotions to the surface.

Maria watched Max shut down again. She knew that he was thinking about Pierce and what he did to him in that room. Liz was in Florida, Alex had gone on vacation with his father and then was off to his grandmother’s in Santa Fe and even Kyle was away at basketball camp. Maria really was the lone human left to deal with the Aliens. Standing there watching Max brood, she made the decision to help him face his traumatic encounter so that maybe when Liz came home at least one couple that came from the humans and aliens being involved would remain intact.

Maria walked over to Max with a new found purpose. She was going to heal Max Evans. “Ok Max, you and me pal, we are going to face your demons and are going to make them go away.”

Max just stared at her.

“Don’t look at me like that, Max Evans. I am not crazy. You need help dealing with what happened. You won’t talk to Liz or anyone else and that is fine but you are going to talk to me. I will not let you keep it all inside. I will keep hounding you until you let it out and then we will try to help you get over it. By the time Liz comes back you will be ready to deal again. Ok?” Maria said slightly out of breath by the time she finished.

“Ok,” was all Max could say after getting a glimpse of Maria in her true Hurricane Deluca form. She was truly frightening.

***

[desertskies]

I never thought of the implications of Michael leaving for what happened to the podsters later. Max's experience became so much worse in the White Room that it even made him drive Liz away.

When I started thinking about this story in my head I couldn't stop thinking about what would have been different for everyone if Michael had left and not just in the terms of Michael and Maria. Can you imagine how much longer it would have taken them to get Max out? It wouldn't have been good.

Thanks icequeen, roswellluver and Ella for reading. Hope you enjoy the next part. There is only one more part after this. As I said it is kind of short.

Part 3

***

A couple of weeks later…

Max was lying in bed listening to the shower running in the next room. He really should get up but all he really wanted to do was pull the covers over his head and sleep until the summer was over. His parents and Isabel had left the day before on a family road trip and wouldn’t be back for over a month. They wanted him to go with them but he convinced them that he needed to work so he could save some money to get a new car since the Jeep was always breaking down. Max wasn’t sure if they believed him but luckily for him they didn’t push him. He was glad they had left without him. He didn’t want to have to pretend he was having a good time and honestly, he would rather spend the summer with Maria.

In the past few weeks Maria had become very important to him. When he was sad she cheered him up, when he couldn’t sleep or had bad dreams she was there for him to talk to, no matter how late it was. He practically lived at her house. In fact, that was where he was now. Maria’s mom was traveling from one buying trip to convention after another and Max didn’t like Maria staying by herself so he would sneak out of the house and stay at her place. At first he had slept on the couch but then one night he had a really horrifying dream and woke up screaming. Maria pulled him into her room to sleep in the bed with her. She held him until he stopped shaking and she sang him to sleep with her soothing voice. Max had slept in her room from that night on.

“Ok girlfriend, enough of the moping. It is the 4th of July and we are going to have fun even if it kills you.” Maria said as she jumped up and down on the bed.

Max laughed at her enthusiasm thinking it must be infectious because he was finally looking forward to something. “Ok sunshine, I see you’re in a good mood this morning.”

“It’s the 4th of July, Max, and you know what that means. The 4th of July Parade and the 4th of July Carnival and let’s not forget the 4th of July Fireworks. This is my absolute favorite holiday in Roswell, Max.” Maria said as she resumed jumping up and down on the bed. “So get your hot alien butt up and showered so we don’t miss any of it.”

Maria’s laughter and excitement made Max feel alive. He was glad that she took him on as her project. He couldn’t imagine how his summer would’ve turned out without her. She really did seem to chase some of the demons away. This past week he had only one dream when before he had had them every night. He still hadn’t talked about his time in the White Room and even though Maria said she would, she had not asked. Maria was giving him the time he needed and her friendship meant everything to him because of it.

They arrived at the Parade just as it was beginning. “It’s starting, Max.” She shouted.

Max just sat back and watched the array of emotions that crossed her face. She was so animated when she really was enjoying something and as soon as the Parade was over she dragged him by the hand towards the Carnival which had just begun.

“Max, we have to get tons of tickets. I want to ride every single ride, twice.” Maria said as she pushed him towards the ticket line behind a pack of kids.

Max was amazed at the amount of cotton candy one small girl could consume. He must have bought her enough to equal her body weight. Max also won her four huge stuffed animals that she just 'had to have' because they were so cute. By the end of the day they were both exhausted.

“Today was the best 4th of July ever.” Maria said hugging Max tightly as they waited for the Fireworks to begin.

“Yeah, it was. Thank you, Maria.” Max said kissing her on the forehead.

Maria moved a bit away from him looking strangely at him. “Thank me? No way Max, today was all you. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”

Maria squealed when the first fireworks began. Max laughed at her reaction and put his arm around her shoulder hugging her close.

***

One month later…

“When are Isabel and your parents getting back?” Maria asked Max as he was helping her clean up the Café for the night.

“Next week I think. They are in LA right now. Isabel was enjoying Rodeo Drive when she called earlier today. Mom tried to get me to fly out and meet them but I told her I couldn’t get off work.” Max sighed. Yeah, that was the last thing Max wanted to do. He could barely stand being in a closed room for any amount of time, being cooped up in a car for hours would probably drive him over the edge. “I don’t think I could’ve taken the drive home even if I did fly out there like Mom wanted. Ten hours is a long time to be confined in such a small space.

Maria stepped closer to Max and put her hand on his chest. “Max, I haven’t bugged you about the White Room. I have given you time but don’t you think you should talk about it soon.”

Max closed his eyes. He had avoided it all summer but he knew that the day was coming. He didn’t want to talk about it but if he was going to open up to someone, there was no one better than Maria.

“They left me alone the first night. It was just me and the White Room. Then the doctors came in and then Pierce.” Max shuddered.

“What did he do to you?” Maria asked, knowing that what he had to say was probably worse than anything she could imagine.

Max pulled Maria into his arms hugging her close trying to absorb some of her strength. “There were a lot of different physical tests but that wasn’t the worst. It was the psychological games he played. He kept showing me computer manipulated pictures of all of you dead, of Liz dead. He told me that they were fake but I knew that he was very capable of doing what he showed me. He wanted to know things that I couldn’t tell him and he wouldn’t believe me when I told him I didn’t know. He said he would kill you all one by one until I did. God Maria, I would have withstood whatever he wanted to do to me but knowing I was responsible for any of you getting hurt was just too much.”

“Especially Liz.” Maria whispered.

“Yeah, especially Liz and her picture was the one he kept showing me over and over again. It drove me crazy. I was seriously losing it by the time Valenti and Nacedo got me out.”

Maria hugged him tighter. “You’re safe now, Max, and Pierce can’t hurt anyone. With Nacedo in DC, the Special Unit isn’t a threat at all.”

Max sat down at the counter. “I know but my mind sometimes forgets. I see those pictures in my nightmares. They haunt me. I am so afraid that knowing me is going to get someone hurt.”

“That is why you really pushed Liz away. Isn’t it?” Maria asked. She had thought the reason he pushed her away was because of what happened to him in the White Room but it really was so much more than that.

“Partly, I guess. That time, in that room, it really screwed up my brain and when I got out I couldn’t stand for anyone to be around me. Especially Liz because I kept seeing her in those pictures and then something that Michael said a long time ago kept going through my head.” Max saw the surprised look on her face and he continued. “When you guys first started up during the heatwave, Michael said he kept having the feeling that just being who he was was going to hurt you. After the White Room that was all I could think of too. Because of who I was I was going to hurt Liz and I couldn’t bear that Maria. Not then and not now. She means too much. You all do.”

“But Max, pushing her away hurt her more.” Maria said still trying to come to grips with what Michael had told Max. She had no idea that he had felt that way. She thought he pushed her away because he couldn’t deal with being involved, not that he was afraid that she would be hurt because of him.

“Yeah but at least she will be alive.” Max whispered.

“Max, I know that you are scared for her, for all of us, but you can’t run away from your feelings. You can’t push any of us away. Liz left this summer because she couldn’t deal with you being with Tess but as soon as she gets back and sees that you are not with her, she is going to want you back. And obviously you aren’t going to get rid of me so you have to let your fear go.” Maria could tell that Max was really starting to believe and understand what she was saying but she had to make her point perfectly clear. “Otherwise, you won’t be any better than Michael and somehow I don’t think you want that.”

Max’s eyes shot up when he heard the tone of Maria’s last sentence. “Maria, do you hate Michael for leaving?”

Maria shook her head. “No, I don’t hate him. I just wish… I don’t even know what I wish, Max. I just know that he shouldn’t have left. There was too much here in Roswell for him and I hope that someday he will realize it and come home.” Maria told him thinking about the postcard she’d received in the mail today. She had kept his secret all summer but now she really wanted to tell Max that Michael was ok. Or at least five days ago he was ok when he mailed the postcard from St. Louis.

“Max, there is something you should know. Michael is ok.” Maria blurted out stunning Max.

“What? You know where he is?” Max asked trying to hide the hurt he was feeling.

“No. No. I don’t know where he is. I just know where he has been.” Maria said quickly. “He sends me a postcard every once in a while. It is always from a different place and he never writes anything on the card, just my address.” She explained.

Max stared at her in disbelief. All this time he had been worried and Maria knew Michael was ok and didn’t tell him. Max thought they had become closer than that.

“I’m sorry, Max. Michael made me promise that I wouldn’t tell you. And earlier in the summer when I asked if you knew where he was would you go looking for him, I could tell you were still so mad at him for leaving. I just thought it best not to say anything but, Max, it has been killing me not to tell you. I’m sorry.” Maria pleaded with Max to forgive her. He had become one of her best friends and she just couldn’t stand for him to hate her for trying to keep a promise to someone they both loved.

Max looked into her eyes and then nodded his head and pulled her into his arms. He knew that Maria thought she was doing what was best for all of them. She had promised Michael and she was right, he was still very mad at him for leaving. “I wish he would come home.” Max put what he was feeling into words. “I have blamed him all summer for not being there for me when I needed him but now, even though I am still mad that he ran away, I miss him and I want him to come home.”

“Me too.” Maria whispered as she hugged Max tightly.


***

A few hours later in LA…

Isabel sat in bed looking at a picture that had been taken last summer. Her Mom had caught Michael in an unguarded moment. He had one of his typical smirks on his face as he watched her and Max. They were obviously arguing about something but for the life of her she couldn’t remember what it was about.

She had been trying to connect with Michael since he had left but she always hit a wall but she would keep trying hoping that someday he would let her in. She gently rubbed her fingers over his face and closed her eyes, silently praying that tonight would be the night.

***

Halfway across the country in Chicago…

Michael had finally found a place to crash for the night. He was so tired. It felt like he hadn’t slept in weeks. He had made some quick cash today delivering food to businesses so he actually had some money to sleep in a real bed and take a long shower. He could close his eyes without having to worry that someone was going to jump him to steal the little bit of nothing he had. It had been seven months since he had left Roswell. It seemed so much longer and he was no closer to finding Nacedo or anything about where he was from than he was then. He had chased one dead end after another. He never thought he would say it but he missed Roswell. Most importantly he missed the people there that he had tried to put out of his mind: Max, Isabel, and Maria. He kept his promise and sent Maria postcards so she would know he was ok. He couldn’t help wondering what was happening there and what they were all doing. He just hoped that they were all ok.

Finally Michael settled his ever active brain and calmed himself so he could finally get the sleep he so desperately needed. He closed his eyes and suddenly he found himself in a White Room. Michael didn’t have a chance to wonder where he was when a frantic Isabel Evans threw herself into his arms.

“Michael, my god where have you been?” Isabel practically crushed him in her arms. “We have been so worried about you. Why did you leave us like that? Why, Michael? We are your family.” Isabel shouted as she stopped hugging him and started hitting him instead.

“Chill out, Isabel. Stop hitting me.” Michael grabbed her wrist to make her stop.

“God Michael, you don’t know what has happened. You don’t know what we have gone through. Topolsky came back and warned us about some special unit of the FBI, alien hunters Michael. We were all on the list. All in danger she said. She died. They took Max. We needed you, Michael. Why did you leave?” Isabel started to cry and when she looked towards him again, she found herself alone in the White Room.

Michael woke up screaming Max’s name. “No. What have I done?” Michael threw his meagre items in his bag and ran out the door. He had to get back to Roswell.

***

At the same time Michael was running out the door, Isabel awoke crying. She had finally gotten through to Michael only to have him run away again before she even had a chance to tell him that they missed him and loved him. Hopefully he would let her in again.

***

The next day…

“Hello,” Max answered his cell phone sleepily.

“I dreamwalked him, Max.” Isabel said sadly.

“Who? Michael? You finally were able to connect?” Max said loudly, waking a sleeping Maria.

“I was so happy to see him. I hugged him and then I started hitting him because I was so mad. I tried to tell him everything that has happened but he just disappeared. I kept trying to get back in but he wouldn’t let me, Max. God I miss him.” Isabel started crying.

“Was he ok, Iz?” Max asked the question that both he and Maria wanted to know.

“He looked so tired, Max. I could almost feel it. I wish he would just come home.”

“Me too. He let you in once, Isabel, maybe he will let you connect again soon.” Max said for Maria and Isabel’s sake. He highly doubted that Michael would let her in again.

***

On a bus headed out of Chicago…

“Everything will be ok.” Michael whispered quietly, trying to calm the numbing fear he was experiencing. He leaned his head against the window steeling himself for the long trip ahead of him hoping that he wasn't too late.


***

[desertskies]

Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoy the ending. I am going to write a sequel to this story. The sequel primarily consists of Michael and Max talking through their problems as well as the reunion between Max and Liz. In the sequel we will see if everyone can find "Forgiveness"

Part 4

***

A couple of days later…

Once again the duo of Evans and Deluca were at the Crashdown cleaning up for the night. The summer was coming to an end and both knew that things would be changing soon. Family and friends would be back from vacations and the new school year was right around the corner. Neither one were particularly ready for things to change. They were used to their routine, they were comfortable in the amount of time they spent together but once the others were back it would all have to change.

“I don’t want the summer to end.” Maria said suddenly, voicing what both had been thinking.

“Me either.” Max agreed as he piled the dirty dishes from the surrounding tables into the bus tub.

“It just went too quickly. I mean, it seems like it was just yesterday that it was the beginning of summer.” Maria said as she carried her tub into the kitchen.

Max followed her. “Yeah, I know. They will all be back soon.”

“In case you are wondering, I talked to Liz today. She will be back this weekend.” Maria told Max knowing that he wanted to ask her but wouldn’t.

Max nodded and then to change the subject, he asked, “So whose turn is it tonight?”

“Max Evans, you know it is your turn so get to it, you wash, I dry.” Maria commanded.

“Yes ma’am.” Max said as he gave her a salute.

“Oh girlfriend, you are so going to get it for that.”

Maria picked up a handful of suds from the dishwater and threw them at the surprised Alien. ‘He thought he could call me ma’am and I would let it slide. I don’t think so,’ she thought to herself.

Max couldn’t believe she actually threw suds in his face. “Ok Deluca, now you have done it. It is war. And stop calling me girlfriend. You are giving me a complex.”

“Ok, how about Superman because we wouldn’t want to give poor Max, alien leader, a complex.” Maria said as she picked up another handful of suds and flung them at Max.

An all out water battle began between the two. Maria squealed when Max picked up a pot and dumped its contents down her back. As the battle ensued, Max and Maria’s bodies got closer to each other and when they realized there was no more water in the sink they were surprised to find themselves practically in each others arms. Max laughed as he rubbed a soap bubble off the tip of Maria’s nose.

At the touch of Max’s hand on her face, the room seemed to tilt. Maria wasn’t sure what was going on but she was enjoying what she was feeling at the moment.

Max cupped Maria’s cheek in his hand. ‘Why is it I have never seen how beautiful Maria really is?’ Max thought. He had seen her laugh and enjoying herself before but tonight there was something different about the way she looked. She literally took his breath away. Before he even had a chance to rethink what he was doing, he leaned down with every intention of discovering what was going on between him and Maria.

“What the hell is going on?”

Maria and Max quickly stepped away from each other and stood momentarily shocked staring at the person who had shouted at them.

“Michael.” Maria said in disbelief and then suddenly she was in his arms hugging him tightly.

Michael pushed Maria away from him as he faced his once best friend, his brother. He wasn’t sure what he walked in on but one thing was for sure, none of them were in any danger. ‘What the hell is going on?’ He thought to himself, trying to push the almost overwhelming jealousy he was feeling away.

“Maxwell.”

“Michael.”

Maria watched the two men she cared most about as they faced off against each other, neither saying a word nor moving a muscle.

“Michael.” Maria said hoping to break the spell the two aliens seemed to be in.

“Not now, Maria. This is between Max and me.” Michael said not even looking at her as his eyes didn’t dare move from Max’s.

“You’re back,” was all Max could put into words as his mind seemed to spin out of control. There was so much he wanted to ask, so many things he wanted to say but he couldn’t seem to verbalize any of them.

“So are you?” Max gave him a confused look so Michael continued. “Isabel said the FBI took you.”

Realization dawned on Max. Michael had thought he was still a captive. Isabel said he had shut her out after she told him about Pierce. Michael never gave her a chance to tell him everything else. “They did. Valenti and Nacedo rescued me.” He said quickly.

“Nacedo? Here in Roswell?” Michael shouted. All this time he was searching for the alien and he was in Roswell. “Where is he?”

“Washington, DC. He is pretending to be Pierce so he can get rid of the Special Unit. God Michael, so much has happened.”

Michael dropped his bag as if it suddenly weighed a thousand pounds. He couldn’t get over the fact that Nacedo was here in Roswell and he missed him. And then there was whatever he walked in on. He rushed into the room after hearing Maria squeal. He thought she was in danger but instead he found her in his best friend’s arms and it looked as if he was about to kiss her.

“Obviously.” Michael finally said sarcastically as he looked at Maria and then back to Max.

“No. No. Michael, it isn’t like that.” Maria said quickly after seeing the look he gave them.

“Hmmm, ok. So how is it then? I come rushing back to Roswell thinking my friend, my brother, has been captured by the FBI and that you were all in danger but instead I find my girl in my best friend’s arms. So you tell me, what is it like?” Michael shouted at them both.

“We are friends, Michael. Not that it is really any of your business. You left her. You left us all. What we do is none of your damn business now.” Max finally found some of the words that he desperately wanted to say. “I spent days in that damn room Michael, being tortured and tested and where the hell were you? You should have been here. But no, we weren’t important enough to you for you to stay here. You did what you do best, you ran away. We could have died. Don’t you even care?” Max shouted

“Max.” Maria walked over to her friend, putting her hand on his arm to calm him down.

Michael watched the interplay between two of the people he cared most about, the girl he loved and his best friend. Jealousy was eating him up inside. It was all too much too soon. He couldn’t handle it. Michael turned around and walked out the door.

“Michael.” Maria shouted after Michael’s retreating form. He stopped for a moment but then kept going. She started to go after him.

“Let him go. He will be back.” Max said pointing to Michael’s bag which remained where he had dropped it.

“I’ll take it to my house. If he comes by looking for it let him know I have it. It might be the only way I can get him to talk to me.”

Max nodded knowing Maria was probably right. He also knew that he wouldn’t be staying at Maria’s anymore. Michael’s homecoming brought an end to that. It was probably for the best. Max didn't know if they could go back to who they were before. Tonight, the moment in the kitchen, changed everything between them and to be honest he wasn’t so sure he even wanted to contemplate what might have happened if Michael had not walked in. His heart, his soul, belonged to Liz as Maria’s belonged to Michael. Loneliness had made them friends and that is what he hoped they would always be.

“Goodnight Maria.” Max said sadly.

“Goodnight.”

Maria spent the next hour cleaning up the mess that she and Max had made as well as doing the night’s dishes. She felt as if the weight of the world was weighing her down. She knew that she did nothing wrong but a part of her couldn’t help feeling guilty over what happened tonight in the kitchen. Max had almost kissed her and what was worse was she had wanted it to happen. He had become one of her best friends. They had been there for each other. He was very special to her but did she love Max? Yeah, she did but she wasn’t in love with him and more importantly Max wasn’t hers to love. He belonged to Liz. And she belonged to Michael. She missed being close with someone. She and Michael had only been "together" for a short time before he ran away but the time they had together was engraved in her memory and in that moment in the kitchen she had wanted to feel how she had always felt with Michael. Maria now knew that even if they had kissed it wouldn't have been the same. All it would have done was ruin the wonderful friendship that she and Max had developed. Seeing Michael standing in the kitchen had brought all the feelings she had buried to the surface. She thought she was over him. She thought she was ready to move on but one glimpse of Michael Guerin and she knew that she would never be over him nor would she even want to be.

Maria walked to the Jetta and was not surprised to see a figure lying on the hood of her car.

“I thought you left.” She stated.

“I did but I came back.” The underlying meaning of his statement was evident to both of them.

“So what now?” Maria asked hoping he would give Roswell a second chance. Hoping he would give the two of them another chance.

Michael shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I stay for at least a little while. I need to find out about Nacedo and where I’m from.”

“You might not like what you find out, Michael. Nacedo isn’t what you expected.” Maria said trying to hide the disappointment she was feeling that he only cared about the other alien.

“Tell me what happened, Maria.” Michael asked.

Maria handed Michael the keys to the Jetta. He took them from her hand, their fingers gently brushing against each other. Maria gasped, feeling the familiar electric shock she always felt when they touched. They momentarily looked into each others eyes.

Michael was the first to break the silent communication they shared with their eyes as he took his bag from Maria’s hand. They drove to her house in silence. Michael was confused. He didn’t know what to think. He saw Max and Maria in the kitchen. He knew what he witnessed wasn’t completely innocent but when he touched her and looked into her eyes he knew how much she loved him, how much he still affected her. ‘What the hell had happened since he had left?’

“Michael, it isn’t like you think with me and Max. You don’t know how much the White Room screwed him up. He needed a friend and there was no one else.” Maria tried to explain as soon as they stepped through the door of her house.

“White Room? What about Liz? What happened, Maria?” Michael asked needing answers.

“The White Room is where Pierce, the head of the FBI Special Unit, held Max. It is in Eagle Rock medical facility. They tortured him and tested him for almost two days. Isabel and Tess couldn’t get to him. They had a special security system set up but Nacedo and Valenti found a way.” Maria shuddered thinking about how exactly Nacedo was able to get Valenti through the fingerprint scan.

“Wait a minute, back up, who is Tess?” Michael asked confused.

“One of you, there are four hybrids.”

“Then who is Nacedo?”

Maria went on to explain that Nacedo was sent as a protector for the four hybrids. That after Valenti killed Pierce, Nacedo had shapeshifted into Pierce and went to D.C. to handle the Special Unit. She also explained about Tess and the book she had given Max and finally she told him of his destiny.

“Isabel and me? Yeah right, we'd kill each other.” Michael said in disgust. He couldn’t even begin to fathom that Isabel and he were paired together. The ick factor was just too much to get past.

“So what about Liz? Did Maxwell actually buy into this destiny crap?”

Maria shook her head. “No. Tess kind of messed with his head when she first came to Roswell but come on, we are talking Max and Liz. No one is going to come between them. Well except for Max. Like I said, they screwed him up in that room. He pushed her away because he couldn’t deal. He used Tess as an excuse but it was a bunch of crap from the beginning. Liz is Max’s soulmate and no blond alien slut is going to change that.” Maria said firmly.

Michael couldn’t help thinking about what he walked in on at the Crashdown. “Just friends, Maria?” He asked.

Maria knew he was asking about her relationship with Max and answered him honestly. “I swear. We were close Michael, really close, but it was never anything but friendship. Tonight, I don’t know what that was but it isn’t who Max and I are.”

Michael wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that even after all this time and after he had screwed up so much that she was still his and no one else’s. He needed it to be true more than he even realized. “I missed you.” He whispered reaching out for Maria.

“I missed you too.” Maria whispered as she walked into his arms.

As they stood in each others arms, Michael felt for the first time in seven months that he was where he belonged. Maybe he had found his home after all.


The End.