The Protectors (CC,A/I,Mature/Adult) A/N 9/25/05 [WIP]

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Little One
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The Protectors (CC,A/I,Mature/Adult) A/N 9/25/05 [WIP]

Post by Little One »

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Title: The Protectors
Couples: A/I
Rating: Mature/Adult
Disclaimer: I'm a college student. If you sue, you'll get a 3 year old Dell Optiplex and a '92 Honda. Oh wait, those don't belong to me either. Never mind. Don't sue. No infringement intended.

Summary: Nearly 11 years after emerging from the pods, Isabel still struggles with the idea that she betrayed her brothers. To make matters worse, someone is haunting her nighmares. Max, Michael and Alex can't help but notice how she's pulling away from them. Can they convince her to let them help her and protect her?

She whimpered as she sensed something…someone closing in on her. It was pitch black. She couldn’t see. There was no sound, no movement, nothing to relate to.. Completely disoriented, she crouched down on the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees and keeping her head down. She was so cold. Maybe if she made herself smaller, he wouldn’t be able to see her. How could he see her if she couldn’t see him? How did she know it was a ‘him’? She didn’t know how, but she did. She rocked back on her heels and pulled herself into a smaller ball. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she knew he was standing right behind her, but she dared not turn around.
“We meet again my sweet whore.” She jumped, losing her balance and rolling backwards, hitting here head on the cold concrete floor. Feeling slightly disoriented, she opened her eyes. And screamed. “Now Vilandra, is that anyway to greet your lover?” He spoke to her as if she were five years old, and somehow, in his presence, she felt that way.
“Get away from me!” she screamed. She scrambled backwards and hit a wall that she swore hadn’t been there five minutes ago. “I’m not your whore, I’m not your lover! I’m nothing to you. I don’t want to be anything to you!” He stared down at her from his massive height, and she felt five again. He was practically standing on top of her.
“You didn’t always feel that way my sweet. You used to scream my name in ecstasy.”
“Not in this lifetime!” she hissed.
“Maybe not,” he conceded, “but you will again.”
“Never!”
“Shut up whore!” She didn’t even see the palm coming towards her, she did feel the stinging and the beginnings of a bruise, as her neck snapped to the side. She muffled a sob as he continued, his voice low and cold. “One day you will accept it! You betrayed your brother and his second for me. You’re still the same person, you can’t escape who you are…what you are, you’re a whore my sweet. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil smile. “And soon enough, you will be mine.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Isabel’s eyes flew open as she sat straight up in bed, her body soaked with sweat, tears running down her face. She pulled her knees into her chest and tried to get the image of his evil grin out of her mind. But every time she blinked, she saw it. She was rocking back and forth on the mattress when she heard the door open. She startled and whipped her head around, ready to fight him off.
“Isabel?” She took a deep breath and mentally relaxed when she saw that it was Max. But she didn’t answer him, she couldn’t trust herself to speak yet. “Isabel, what happened? I heard you scream, are you all right?” He stood in the doorway, his large body preventing anyone from coming in. His arms crossed, his stance alert and protective.
“I’m fine Max,” but her voice trembled no matter how much she tried to control it. And as she turned her face to him, he saw the tear tracks marring her face, and noticed the sheen of sweat on her skin.
“You’re not fine. What’s going on?” He noticed tremors running through her body at unequal intervals.
“Nothing Max! It was a bad dream! OK?”
“Ok Iz, ok. I was just checking on you. It’s two in the morning and since Mom and Dad are out of town…you just don’t scream like that and expect me not to do anything ok?” She managed to look up and offer him a small smile of appreciation.
“Thanks Max.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m ok.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, well, you know where I am if you need me, night Iz.”
“Night Max.” She watched him go, half relieved, and half shaking in renewed fear. She couldn’t sleep now, not when she was so sure the dreams would return. She could still hear that voice in her head, calling her a whore, telling her she betrayed the two men in the world who cared about her most. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true. Max was her brother and Michael her protector. Between the two of them, no guy messed with Isabel Evans. But every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face and heard his voice. Her head was spinning and she couldn’t think straight. She didn’t want to think anymore. She wished she could let her mind go blank, but that was impossible. Left with no other option, she threw herself down on the bed and buried her face in the pillow to stifle her sobs.

Max lay awake, staring at the ceiling. A glance at his digital clock told him it was 3:45 AM. He couldn’t sleep. He’d gone down to the kitchen to make himself a cup of hot tea and had crawled back into bed with every intention of trying to reclaim lost sleep, but it didn’t come. All he could think about was the sound that had bolted him out of a sound sleep two hours earlier. The screams of pain, fear, absolute terror, coming from his sister’s room. Within two seconds, he was up on his feet and running across the hall. And she had assured him it was a bad dream. But he knew his sister. Isabel was the best at controlling her dreams. She knew how to get out of them if she didn’t like them. Max didn’t like what that thought implied- that something had scared his sister so badly that she lost control of her mind, her thoughts, her powers. Something told him this wasn’t a run of the mill bad dream. ‘Relax. She said it was a bad dream.’ He closed his eyes, and felt like he might be able to get back to sleep after all.

The high pitched scream tore through him like a thousand tiny blades. It vibrated against the walls of the house and made the doorjamb shake. He was on his feet in an instant and managed to glance at the clock as he ran towards Isabel’s room. 4:41 AM. The sight that greeted him as he stood panting in the doorway broke his heart. Isabel had twisted herself into the sheets, her hair flung wildly about her face, tears streaming down her cheeks. He stood above her for two seconds before he realized she was still asleep. She hadn’t managed to wake herself up, although Max didn’t see how the scream he heard hadn’t woken the dead. She lashed out at the imaginary villain in her dream and nearly hit him in the face. Hesitating only briefly, he kneeled down by the side of the bed so that he was as even with her as he could get given his height. He took the wrist of the arm that had so recently tried to decapitate him and held it gently but firmly as he gently shook her awake with the other hand. She whimpered loudly, still lost in her hellish dream world.
“Isabel. Isabel, wake up.” He kept his voice low and soothing, trying not to make the dream worse. She tried to shake him off and hit him again, but he didn’t let her. He held her wrists, knowing that if he let her go, he’d have some serious bruising to account for.
“No, no, no, no, no, no…”
“Isabel, wake up…it’s me, it’s only me. It’s ok.” Her eyes flew open and he breathed a momentary sigh of relief before he realized she was still somewhere in her dream.
“NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! Let me…” her voice faded as reality dawned on her and he felt her go limp with exhaustion. “Ma…Max!” He quickly moved from restraining her wrists for his own self defense, to pulling her into his arms.
“Are you alright Iz?”
“Oh god Max, oh god.”
“Shhhh, it was a nightmare. It’s ok.” She wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life. He held her tightly, rocking back and forth on the bed. “You want to tell me about it?”
“N...no Max, I’m…I’m fine.” But Max could tell she was anything but fine given the way her body trembled and her breath came in hitching gasps.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes Max! I’m sure!” He pulled back slightly to look at her. The fear in her eyes was palpable, but he thought he saw something else too…guilt?
“Isabel…” His voice warned her not to mess with him, and she knew he knew she was lying. But she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t. He’d hate her, he’d tell Michael, Michael would hate her. She couldn’t stand to be without them, she couldn’t. She rested her forehead against his chest to avoid having to look him in the eye anymore. If he knew would he be playing the big brother role so well? Would he be holding her like he cared? Would he really protect her the way a brother is supposed to protect a sister, the way he had always protected her before? Would he give a damn about a traitorous family member who got him killed? She didn’t want to find out. Feeling safe and protected felt too good, she couldn’t lose that.
“Max…can you…can you just…stay? Please? Just until I fall asleep?” It was said so low, Max almost didn’t hear it.
Max relented, his anger at the situation tempered by the note of helplessness he heard in her voice. “Sure Iz, just lie down and relax, ok?” He stroked her back soothingly once more before releasing her so she could lie down. She lowered herself stiffly to the mattress, arms frozen at her sides, eyes trained on the ceiling. He stood up and pulled the comforter up, tucking it tightly around her before moving to the other side of the bed and making himself comfortable on top of the covers. He was struck with a sense of déjà vu as he recalled being seven years old, lying in this exact position, holding Isabel as she fought off demons from one of her recurrent nightmares. As they got older, the dreams seemed to stop. Were they back? Max believed that as a six year old, Isabel truly might not have been able to describe her dreams to him. He had tried on numerous occasions to get her to talk about them, but he knew from her hesitant face that she didn’t know what scared her so badly in those dreams, and that in itself was scary. Now though, as he looked into her terrified eyes, he was fairly certain that she had at least some idea of what she was dreaming about. As he lay down on the bed, she moved closer to him so that their bodies were flush up against each other as she had done as a little girl. The eerie similarity of her body language unnerved Max and made him realize exactly how scared she was. It was almost as if part of her were regressing to that terrified little girl. He hated seeing her like this. She whimpered slightly as he wrapped one arm around her waist, spooning her against him. “Shhh, just go to sleep Isabel, it’s ok.”
“Don’t leave me Max.”
“I’m right here Iz, not going anywhere.”
Isabel was tired. Truth be told, she hadn’t slept well in days. The dreams had just started getting bad enough to wake other people in the house. Thank God Max was the only other one in the house at the time. She didn’t want to go to sleep, but her body betrayed her and she relaxed into her brother’s protective arms.

TBC
Last edited by Little One on Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:31 pm, edited 22 times in total.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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Post by Little One »

Chapter 2

Michael wiped his forehead with his bandana as Jose came into the kitchen to relieve him from his shift. It was hotter than hell in the kitchen, as the temperature outside had already risen into the nineties and it was just past noon. He noticed Isabel sipping a soda, perched on a barstool, and staring off into space.
“Hey Izzy.” Isabel screamed, and the next thing he knew, he was covered in Cherry Coke. “Isabel? What the hell!” It was an involuntary reaction, but Michael noticed as she flinched when his voice rose.
“Michael, I…I’m sorry!”
“Isabel, wait!” But she had already bolted, leaving startled restaurant patrons and a stunned and confused Michael in her wake. A beat later, he vaulted himself over the counter and sprinted out the door, nearly knocking over a startled Liz as he passed her on her way in. He grabbed her arm to steady her and ran.
“Michael?”
“Sorry Liz, I’ll explain later!” He bolted out of the café and into the bright noon sunlight, squinting in both directions trying to figure out which way she had gone. The jeep was still sitting in the parking lot, so he knew she was on foot. Then he saw her, running like a bat out of hell, down the sidewalk. He didn’t have a clue where she was headed, from the way she was running, it didn’t look like she did either. He took off at full speed, sprinting past worried looking pedestrians and frightened children. She was a good two blocks ahead of him, but with his faster speed and longer strides, he caught up easily. “Whoa, Isabel.” She was so focused on running that she didn’t have time to react as his arms came around her from behind, stopping her in her tracks as she slammed back against his chest. She shook her head blindly and fought to get away, but Michael held her tightly. “Isabel, what’s going on?”
“Let me go Michael! Leave me alone!” She continued struggling, but Michael barely noticed.
“That’s not gonna happen.”
“Yes it will!” she hissed under her breath. But Michael caught it anyway.
“Iz…what are you talking about?” As if realizing she said too much, she renewed her struggles to get away. This time, he loosened his grip only long enough to spin her around to face him, his hands firmly on her shoulders. It was then that he noticed her bloodshot eyes and the tears that steadily poured down her cheeks. He softened his voice. “Hey…hey. I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t mean to yell at you like that…I was just surprised. Isabel?” Without any warning, she slumped against him. He had to catch her quickly before she hit the ground. Her shoulders shook with the renewed intensity of her crying. He supported her against him, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
“God Iz, what is it?”
“I…I don’t…want to…talk about it.” She sobbed brokenly. He nodded, his chin resting on top of her head. He knew all too well what it was like to not want to discuss your problems. Especially now that they were beginning to draw stares from passersby on the sidewalk. So he didn’t push it.
“Ok, it’s ok, you don’t have to. Do you want to go home?” She nodded her head against his chest, tears still falling freely on to his shirt. He tried to step away from her, to take her hand and lead her back towards the jeep, but she shook her head and wrapped her arms more securely around his waist. Without a second thought, he put one hand under her knees and lifted her into his arms. The ‘Ice Queen’ Isabel Evans wrapped her arms in a vice grip around his neck, and huddled into his chest as if she were trying to disappear. He knew something was very wrong. Ignoring the curious and sympathetic stares of people on the street, Michael headed back towards the Crashdown with Isabel in his arms, his mind racing with possible explanations for Isabel’s breakdown, and coming up with nothing.
Not bothering to get the keys out of her purse, he used his powers to unlock the door, and placed Isabel in the front seat, fastening her seat belt around her. “I’m taking you home, ok?” She nodded, her eyes blank, swollen and teary, as she stared off into space. Michael fished the keys out of her purse and started the car. The ride to the Evans house was spent in complete silence. Michael concentrated on the road, trying to distract himself from all of the possible scenarios his overactive imagination was conjuring up. Isabel continued to stare blankly out of the window as the world passed before her eyes. She glanced over at Michael and noticed his concentration, the way his brow furrowed as he frowned. No doubt he was thinking about her. She had made him miserable in his first life, no reason for her to do any differently in this one. She glanced at him again, memorizing his features, his profile, knowing for certain that if her secret was revealed, he wouldn’t want to look at her ever again. ‘Oh God, I don’t want to be alone.’ She buried her face in her hands, trying and failing to stop the tears she felt forming behind her eyes. She was shocked to feel a hand on her back, a large, supportive hand, a hand of one of the two people in the world she knew she could trust without a doubt. ‘And they can’t trust me.’ She thought bitterly. She tried to shake off his comfort, but he only moved his hand to take one of hers away from her face and hold it in a vice like grip. She was too tired to protest, so she let him, reminding herself that this could very well be one of the last times she would ever feel this safe, this protected, this loved, and even if it was an illusion, she had to enjoy it while it lasted.
Michael cut the engine after parking the jeep in the Evans driveway. Isabel got out of the jeep and nearly ran to the front door. Michael followed, and startled Isabel by blocking the door with his foot as she tried to close it.
“Isabel?”
“You don’t have to come in Michael, I’m fine now.” Michael gave her a ‘yeah right’ look and pushed his way in to the house.
“Don’t even try it. I’m not leaving you Iz.” She knew he meant he wasn’t leaving her alone in the house by herself in the state she was in, but the phrase itself held bigger implications. She nearly cried from the force of his conviction. The way he was looking at her gave no room for argument as he made himself comfortable on the living room sofa.
“Ok…I’m just gonna go…take a shower then.” She trailed off nervously, biting her lip and heading towards her bedroom.
“Take your time,” Micheal replied gruffly. Wanting to get out of the awkward situation as soon as possible, Isabel turned and fled down the hall, entering the bathroom and locking the door behind her. She started the shower, then took off her shorts, underwear, t-shirt and shoes. She stepped into the hot stream, letting the water soak her hair, run down her back and cleanse the filth she suddenly felt all over her body. She was so dirty. She scrubbed shampoo and conditioner into her hair and rinsed, then took a sponge and wetted it with shower gel. She soaped up the sponge and ran it along her arms and shoulders. Eyes closed, she ran the sponge across her chest and winced painfully as it hit one of her breasts. She could almost feel him.
Michael was thrown out of a light daze upon hearing the blood curdling scream emitted from the bathroom. The sound didn’t have time to register in his mind before he was sprinting down the hallway and banging on the bathroom door.
“ISABEL, ARE YOU OK?” He listened closely, but couldn’t hear anything over the rushing sound of the shower. “IF YOU DON’T ANSWER ME, I’M COMING IN,” he shouted. Still no answer. Michael jiggled the door knob and found it locked. He placed his palm over it, not caring if he blew the door to smithereens in the process. To his surprise, the door came unlocked without any difficulty and he rushed into the bathroom, choking on the hot steam as it hit him full force. “ISABEL?” Now that he was in the room, he could hear what sounded like faint sobbing on the other side of the curtain. There was still no answer. Without a second thought, he tore the curtain back, nearly ripping it off of its hinges. “Holy shit.” Isabel sat in the tub, her arms wrapped around her knees, her face buried in her arms. Her long hair was plastered to her face and her whole body had turned reddish purple from the extreme heat of the water pelting down on her without relief. Isabel didn’t seem to notice he was there. She continued sobbing, rocking slightly back and forth. Michael immediately turned off the water, without its white noise, her sobbing seemed louder and more desperate. “Isabel!” He stepped cautiously into the bathtub to lift her into his arms. She clung to him desperately, buried her head in his chest, and cried harder. It was the most desperate sound Michael had ever heard. “Shhhh…it’s alright Izzy, I’ve got you. It’s ok.” As gently as he could, he lifted her into his arms and carried her across the hall to her bedroom, laying her carefully on the bed. “Shhh,” he soothed again, staying remarkably calm. He found a towel and went about the painstaking process of drying off her soaked body. He pushed her long, soaked hair away from her face. He then pulled the comforter up over her nude form, and went to the dresser to search for something for her to wear. Coming back over to the bed with an oversized t-shirt and he studied the shaking girl. Isabel’s sobs had turned to whimpers. She looked scared…of him. “I’m just going to help you get dressed, ok?” He carefully slid the shirt over her head and directed her arms into the sleeves. He could tell she was trying to help him, but failing because of the violent tremors. He pulled the sheet up over her body, not wanting to overheat her more. Her body had cooled, although she still looked flushed and exhausted. As an after thought, he ran into the bathroom and filled a cup with cool water. Returning to her room, he kneeled beside the bed and slid his hand behind her head, coaxing her up. “Here, drink a little, you’ll feel better.” Her eyes fluttered open and she took a sip of the water he offered before greedily drinking the rest of it. “Good girl.” Her head flopped back on the pillow. She still had not met his eyes. She stared blankly into space, tears now clearly evident on her cheeks.
“Isabel…what is it?” he whispered, not wanting to send her back into her catatonic state. She shut her eyes tightly as more tears trickled down her cheeks and looked away from him.
“Go away Michael.” Michael clenched his fists in barely controlled frustration as he kneeled beside her. He took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.
“Stop it Isabel, you know I won’t do that.” She sighed as if in resignation, but her tears returned full force. She tried to turn over to bury her face in the pillow but didn’t appear to have the strength.
“I can’t…tell you that,”
“Yes, you can,” he demanded. She shook her head. Michael was getting impatient, not to mention panicky. “Isabel, you can tell me yourself, or I’ll find out on my own. Either way, I’m going to figure it out.” At his harsh words, she burst into tears again.
“You’ll hate me.” She said it so low, Michael almost didn’t hear it.
“Isabel, look at me.” Tentatively, Isabel raised her eyes to his.
“I will never hate you.”
“Yes, yes you will! And Max will and…and…GO AWAY MICHAEL! JUST LEAVE!”
“I’M NOT LEAVING!” The walls shook with the force of his voice. Isabel flinched visibly. Michael tried to calm himself down.
“Michael, it’s getting late…just go home, I’ll be ok,” she whispered.
“You really expect me to believe that?” he asked incredulously, lowering his voice. “Stop bullshitting me Iz. Don’t tell me I’m not seeing something that’s right in front of my face.” Isabel sighed heavily. He wasn’t going to give up. She knew that, Michael was the most stubborn person on earth, possibly in the universe. Her whole body ached and her stomach throbbed. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face telling her that she was a whore, that she had betrayed them. She couldn’t lose them, she couldn’t lose the two people on earth who cared about her. “Isabel, you said Max. What the hell are you talking about?” She couldn’t think straight. Her head was spinning with the questions he was firing at her. And on top of that, she kept seeing him. She said the only thing that came to her mind in a coherent thought.
“Don’t leave me.” Her eyes shut tightly. Michael fell to his knees beside her, from where he had been pacing the room like a caged animal, and grabbed her hand.
“I won’t leave you Iz. I promise.”
“Max will be home for lunch soon…please…” She tried to say something else, but dissolved into tears. Michael said nothing, only climbed up on the bed next to her and embraced her gently. She curled up as close to him as she could possibly get. Michael tried to comfort her and hold in his rage at the thought of someone hurting her. His mind was racing through the possibilities, mentally going down a list of Isabel’s assorted admirers and casual dates with half of the football team. He came up with nothing. What could have reduced Isabel “Ice Queen” Evans to tears, in a public place nonetheless? Michael couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen her cry.
“Does Max know?” Michael questioned tentatively.
“Sort of,” she answered, her voice sounding small and vulnerable from where she had it buried in his shoulder. “Don’t leave me Michael.” His breath caught in his throat.
“I told you Iz, I’m not going anywhere,” he spoke in her ear trying to soothe her. He heard her suck in a breath.
“Promise?”
“I promise. I won’t leave, try to get some sleep. I’ll be right here.”
“I’m not tired.”
“Isabel, stop it, sleep. I am not moving from this bed and neither are you, at least until Max gets home.
“No no no no no no no…” she chanted mindlessly, clutching his shirt in her fists. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“’Cause...” she regressed back into full sobbing.
“Because why?” his voice became gentler, softer, realizing that by yelling he was only pushing her further into her shell. “You can tell me,” he mumbled softly in her ear and kissed her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” The front door slammed and Isabel would have fallen off the bed if Michael hadn’t been holding her securely in his arms. “Shhh, it’s ok..”
“Isabel?” Max’s voice echoed through the empty house.
“In here Max,” Michael said. Moments later, Max appeared in the doorway.
“Isabel?” Upon seeing him in the doorway, Isabel dissolved into tears again, shielding her face with Michael’s chest. Michael looked up and shook his head. They exchanged glances as Max walked slowly into the room Something in his face told Michael that Max knew more than he was letting on. Max kneeled carefully by the bed. Isabel wouldn’t look at either of them. Figuring that he wouldn’t get her to talk any time soon, he turned his attention to Michael. Max shook his head and kept his eyes trained on Isabel as she huddled in Michael’s arms. No one said anything for a long minute. Then Max spoke, trying to keep his voice low and unthreatening. “Isabel, talk to us, please.” She turned her head in his direction and Max could see the shame and doubt lingering there. It was the same look she’d had in her eyes last night when she clung to him as if he was going to disappear. Michael instinctively tightened his arms around her as she took a breath.
“This is too hard,” she whimpered, crawling further into Michael if it was possible.
“I know it’s hard Iz. No rush. We’re here, ok? We’re not going anywhere.” She nodded, but didn’t say anything. Michael brushed his lips against her forehead. She was leaning against him more and more
“You don’t have to tell us now Iz, it’s ok. Max shot him a look, but understood as soon as he saw Michael’s intention. He leaned back against the pillows, adjusting Isabel in his arms. She tensed, clutching his shirt tight in her fists again.
“No, please…I don’t want to…” she cried, but trailed off. Both men had an uncomfortable feeling that she wasn’t just talking about Michael moving.
“Shhh, I told you, we’re not going anywhere.” Isabel felt like she hadn’t slept in days. Her vision was fuzzy and her eyes felt like sandpaper. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to sleep for days and not wake up. But she knew that wouldn’t happen. Every time she got even remotely close to sleep, he was there, in her nightmares, telling her she was a whore, violating her. She felt it happen over and over again. She couldn’t escape. Somehow he kept her there, to experience in excruciating detail the violation of her body and the pain that went along with it. Every time she went to bed, she feared she would never wake up. She flinched reflexively, remembering the pain, not wanting to return to that place. But her human body was plotting against her. It demanded sleep. She was using whatever energy she had left from fighting off the emotional scars to fight off sleep. Michael held her tighter as her whole body flinched and she started to sob into his shirt again.
“I don’t want to…I can’t…I can’t sleep.”
“Isabel, shhhh, it’s ok. You have to calm down.” He continued his soothing monologue in her ear while exchanging helpless glances with Max. Max nodded towards the head of the bed and Michael discreetly shifted so that he was lying on the bed, slightly propped up by the headboard, Isabel on his chest. Max moved to sit at the foot of the bed, making the mattress dip in the process. Isabel’s eyes flew open and she startled. “Shhh, it’s ok.” Michael said again, feeling useless, but unsure of what else to say or do.
“Isabel, we’re just going to sit here, ok? You don’t have to say anything, we don’t even have to talk, but we’ll stay right here, just relax.” Max assured her. Both could see that she was in no shape to be discussing anything. Her eyes were shut but Michael could feel how tense she was. He rubbed his hands soothingly up and down her back. Some of the lines in her forehead began to disappear. “That’s it, just relax. You’re safe right here with us. Listen to me, just relax, you’re ok. We won’t let anything happen to you.” Max kept his voice low and soothing, keeping up a running monologue to distract her from her thoughts. “Just close your eyes, it’s ok to relax. “You’re safe with us.” Michael didn’t say anything, just kept his breathing steady and kept his hands running up and down her back. “That’s it,” Max kept talking. “Just go to sleep. We’ll stay right here with you.”
It took nearly an hour, but slowly Isabel’s breathing evened out and Michael could feel her muscles go limp as she gave in to her exhaustion. Adjusting himself to look at her face, unguarded in sleep, Michael looked at Max.
“Ok Maxwell, what do you know that I don’t?” Max sighed and hoped Isabel wouldn’t kill him later.
“She’s been having these nightmares. She wakes up in the middle of the night screaming so loud, I think someone’s trying to kill her. I run into her room and end up holding her during the night, otherwise she can’t sleep. I’ve been trying to get her to talk about them but she won’t…or can’t, maybe both. She looks so haunted and guilty, I just…” he trailed off. “We can’t make her tell us.” He looked at his sleeping sister, trying to formulate some kind of plan. Michael’s brow furrowed.
“Wait, are these dreams like…”
“Yeah.” Michael remembered Max telling him about the dreams that Isabel had had as a child. “The difference is that I think these are worse because she knows what’s happening to her. When she was six, I could see that she didn’t really get it. But now I’m almost positive that she does. Whatever it is has her so scared that she can’t talk about it.”
“I think there’s more to it than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was working at the Crash Down this afternoon when she came in. She ordered a drink and sat at the bar. I went over to say hi, and she looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights and ran. I ran after her and by the time I caught up with her, she was hysterical. She would not come with me at first, and then when she did, she wouldn’t look me in the eye. It’s like…she thinks she’s guilty. The look in her eyes, she looked so…ashamed.”
“Ok, yeah, I noticed that too. So she’s scared and guilty…about?”
“I have no idea.” They sat in contemplative silence, each lost in his own thoughts, until Isabel began to twist in Michael’s arms. She clawed at his forearms as if she was trying to escape. He held her tighter. Then she began to scream.
“Isabel, Isabel, wake up,” he kept his voice low and soothing.
“Stop! Stop! Please, it hurts! Please! Stop!”
“Isabel, shhh, it’s ok, She thrashed violently, but Michael would not let her go. Her eyes finally flew open and met his concerned stare.
“Please!” In a split second, she realized who was holding her, and her cry became a startled gasp.
“It’s ok Iz, shhh.” Michael rocked her, “you’re safe.”
“Michael!” And then she buried her face in his lap and cried.
“What hurts Iz?” She shook her head, refusing to answer him. Michael sighed in frustration. He wasn’t one to stand by and watch, especially when she was like this, but without more of a clue, there wasn’t much anyone could do.
“Iz, I know it’s hard, but you have to trust us,” Max said gently. “Michael and I are always here for you, you know that.” She shook her head, still sobbing and hiccupping into Michael’s lap.
“I can’t, I can’t, no.” Max tried a different tactic.
“Are you in pain, Iz?” After a lengthy pause, she answered.
“N-no.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” (more sobbing).
“Do you want us to get Liz or Maria?” He kept his voice low as if he was coaxing a frightened animal to come to him. She shook her head.
“Do you want me to get Alex?” Her head shot up.
“NO! Max, please don’t get Alex! Please! He can’t…he can’t know!” She shook her head vehemently. In reality, her heart ached. She did want Alex, badly. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be ok. But she couldn’t stand for him to see her like this. He would think she was a whore. He would leave her…just like Max and Michael were going to.
Max took a deep breath and asked his next question, dreading the answer.
“Iz…did Alex…did Alex…do something?” Isabel blanched.
“No! No! Max, Alex would never hurt me.” Of that much she was sure. Max and Michael breathed collective sighs of relief.
“I didn’t think so,” he assured her. “Did someone else hurt you?” She paused for a split second.
“No.” But the pregnant pause was all they needed to answer their question. Michael exchanged a glance with Max over the top of Isabel’s head.
“Ok Iz, no more questions right now ok?” Max took one of her hands and squeezed it gently. “I’m gonna go make myself some lunch and call the UFO Center to tell them I won’t be back in today. I’ll be right in the kitchen ok?”
“Max, you don’t have to…”
“Yes…I do.” His voice left no room for argument. She relented, secretly glad to have him near her. He squeezed her hand once more before leaving. Michael took that as his cue.
“I’ve got to go to the bathroom Iz, I’m not leaving ok? I’m going right down the hall.” She nodded and allowed him to slip out from under her. He helped her settle back into the mattress. “Be right back.” He slipped out of the room, giving Isabel an encouraging smile before closing the door behind him. Max was waiting for him in the kitchen.
“Shit, Michael.”
“I know Max, what are we going to do?” A mixture of Max’s big brother instincts and his born leadership drive was making him insane with the need for action.
“Someone hurt her, she’s in pain,” he got out through clenched teeth.
“I know.” Michael’s face was murderous. They both knew Isabel well enough to read through the lines.
“Did you see anything on her body when you…”
“No, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
“Alex should know.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll get him.”
“Are you sure it’s a good idea? I mean, is she gonna be pissed?”
“She’ll forgive us,” Max said gruffly, as he took his car keys from the kitchen table. “Be right back.” Michael nodded. He agreed, Alex should know.
“Ok, I’ll watch her and see if I can get her to sleep some more, maybe she’ll eat something.” Max’s eyes softened.
“Ok. I don’t know what to do though, maybe Alex can get her to talk. For some reason she doesn’t seem to want to open up to us at all.”
“Maxwell, do you think she was raped?” There. He said it. He knew they had both been considering it, and with a combination of Isabel’s body language and her inability to talk, it was a likely possibility. Max’s hands shook and his eyes burned with rage.
“It’s possible,” he got out through clenched teeth. “It would explain a lot.”
“But there are no marks on her body.”
“Her body heals fast, you know that.” He did know that, it was a fact of alien chemistry.
“Yeah.” There was dead silence, as they tried to think logically, and failed, blinded by the rage against who ever had hurt Isabel. A fierce sense of protectiveness existed in Max because he was her brother, and in Michael because he was her protector. She was his sister by right if not by blood. Max broke the heavy silence.
“I’m going to get Alex.” The door slammed, leaving Michael to stare at it and wonder what the hell they were going to do next.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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Post by Little One »

Thanks for the feedback people! Enjoy...

Chapter 3

Max never questioned the fact that going to get Alex was the right thing to do. Isabel and Alex had been dating for about a year now, they were as close as Max had ever seen them, and he knew that contrary to what she said, she needed him. Max liked Alex. He treated Isabel well and was pretty much the polar opposite of all of the dumb jocks Isabel had previously been seen with. Max knew that Alex would not be happy with the current turn of events. He was as protective of Isabel as Michael and Max were, if not more so. And, Max had to be honest with himself in his ulterior motive, Alex was the most likely person to get Iz to talk. He pulled up in Alex’s driveway and cut the engine. Exactly how do you phrase to a man that the woman he loves is currently curled up in bed, believing for reasons only known to God that she is unworthy, and everyone she knows will leave her? He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
“Max, hi,” Alex opened the door, looking confused. “What brings you to my humble abode?” The look on Max’s face was not a happy one, and Alex was waiting for him to say the Apocalypse was coming, and their only chance was to flee the planet- for real.
“Alex, hi. Can I come in?”
“Sure Max.” Alex stepped aside and led him into the family room. More confused than ever, Alex took a minute to really study Max and consider the reasons he would show up at his house alone in the middle of the afternoon.
“What’s going on, is it Isabel?” Alex’s stomach dropped as his suspicions were confirmed and Max nodded.
“Something’s wrong with her Alex, I don’t know what to do.” Alex’s mind was racing, but he let Max continue, aware of the fact that the poor guy appeared to be having enough trouble getting the story out on his own. He proceeded to recount the past few weeks in painful detail, leading up to Isabel’s scene in the Crashdown and her breakdown in front of Michael. “She doesn’t know I’m telling you, Michael is at home with her now. Hopefully she’s sleeping. She specifically asked us not to tell you, but I’m not an idiot. I don’t know what else to do, but I know she needs you…and Michael and I need all the help we can get.” Alex stared at Max for a full ten seconds before his brain and his mouth reconnected.
“So, let me get this straight. My girlfriend-your sister has been going through some kind of mental-or physical, hell, she’s starting to crack, she won’t talk and that’s why she’s been going around barely functioning and looking like a ghost?”
“You noticed.”
“How could I not? I asked her about it, told her that I was here for her if she needed to talk. One time last month, my parents were out of town and she was over here. She looked so tired, like she was about to pass out. I offered to let her stay here with me because I didn’t want her driving home, she really didn’t look like she could have made it. She has stayed over here before, but that time, she totally freaked, turned white as a sheet and took off like a bat out of hell.”
“I don’t think it was you.”
“I guess I get that now.”
“She was probably afraid of having one of her night terrors while you were there. It would have confirmed your suspicions and she would have had to talk.”
“Yeah.” There was silence as each mulled over the possibilities. “Let’s go.” Alex stood up, taking his wallet and keys from the hall table. “My parents have the car…
“I’ll give you a ride.”

“Michael?” Isabel’s small voice reached him from down the hall.
“I’m here, Iz.” He appeared in the doorway. The tears threatening to pool in her eyes moved him to grasp her hand tightly as he approached the bed.
“I heard the door slam…I thought….I thought you guys left.” He kneeled down beside the bed, taking her hand and pushing her hair out of her face and absently drying it with his powers.
“No Iz, Max just had to go out for a second, he’ll be right back. I’m right here, you’re not going to be alone.” She collapsed against the pillows, seemingly exhausted.
“I’m sorry Michael, I’m not being fair to you.”
“Stop apologizing Isabel, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But I did...” she trailed off as her eyes filled with tears for the billionth time.
“Isabel,” Michael consciously kept his voice low, non-threatening. “What is it? What happened to you?”
“No…”
“Isabel, please…”
“No!” She turned away from him, clearly indicating that the conversation was over, but he wouldn’t let her get away that easily.
“Isabel, I only want to help you. I would never hurt you. I won’t leave. Max…Alex and me, we’re all here for you Iz. You have to believe that. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, we’re not going anywhere.” She wanted to believe him. She couldn’t look at him, but she heard the conviction in his voice. But would he change his mind when the truth came out? Probably.
“Michael, I’m tired. Please, I can’t do this right now.” Michael relented, hoping that he had gotten through to her on some level.
“Ok Iz, get some sleep.” He squeezed her hand and moved towards the door. He had made it to the doorjamb before she spoke.
“Michael?” He turned.
“Yeah?”
“Stay? Please?”
“Ok.”

They rode in tense silence, each lost in thought for the 10 minutes it took to reach the Evans’s house. Alex leapt from the jeep before Max had a chance to cut the engine. Not bothering to knock, Alex barged in the front door with Max close on his heels. Alex tried to calm himself down and walk slowly towards Isabel’s cracked bedroom door, but he was on the edge. He pushed the door open slowly, seeing Michael on the bed with Isabel sleeping against his chest.
“Hey Michael.”
“Alex.” They regarded Isabel in silence. Alex hadn’t actually seen Isabel in about two days. And what he saw didn’t reassure him.
“God…is she?”
“She’s ok, she’s sleeping. She doesn’t stay asleep for long though, always wakes up screaming.”
“Can I…?” Alex had a sudden urge to hold her, to feel her and to know that she was ok.
“Yeah…you can try.” Michael slowly edged out from underneath Isabel, trying not to wake her. Alex was already sitting on the bed, shifting Isabel’s limp form into his lap. She whimpered softly and Alex was quick to reassure her.
“Shhh, baby, I’m here.” To their relief, his voice seemed to sooth her and she rested calmly in Alex’s arms. Max and Michael watched from the floor, praying that Isabel would accept Alex. “You guys can take a break,” Alex suggested. You both look like you got hit by a mac truck.”
“She made us promise backwards, forwards and upside down, not to leave her,” Max protested weakly, knowing Alex was right. He needed a break.
“We’re not leaving, we’ll just go relax, maybe try to watch some TV, right Maxwell? We’ll be right downstairs. We’ll know if something is wrong.”
“Yeah, I need a nap anyways.”
“Call us if you need us Alex.”
“Sure.” Max and Michael left, quietly closing the door behind them. Alex didn’t move. He was afraid that any sort of tension or movement would wake Isabel. He took this opportunity to watch her closely. The dark circles under her eyes testified to the fact that she hadn’t slept in days. She looked pale, and every couple of minutes, she would whimper in her sleep. Alex didn’t know what else to do, so he leaned back, whispering in her ear, hoping she could hear him.
“Isabel, I’m right here. You’re not going through any of this alone. You’re not going to be alone again. You can’t push me away. I love you, I’ll help you. Shhh.” He kept this up until he couldn’t think straight anymore and began to doze off in the mid-evening twilight.

She curled in to a tiny ball in the non existent corner of her circular room. It was so dark, and cold, and lonely. She was alone. Maybe if she stayed still, he wouldn’t find her.
“There you are, my sweet whore.” She whipped her head around so fast, her neck popped, but she still couldn’t see anything. It got colder in the room, her breath was visible and her body barely protected by the thin nightgown. She shuddered. “Now, now, don’t be that way,” he scolded her. She buried her head in her knees.
“Please…please, don’t hurt me, just leave me alone.”
“I don’t think I can do that Vilandra. You belong to me. You are mine.” The wind picked up like an artic blast. Her teeth chattered.
“No.”
“Oh yes, my dear. Maybe you need a reminder?” She shook her head, but he ignored her. She still couldn’t see him, which left her virtually defenseless when she found herself on her back, the wind knocked out of her, unable to move. She felt her legs slide apart and she was unable to stop them. An invisible hand fondled her breast. She gasped, still not able to see anything. “That’s it darling, always so responsive.” She tried to cringe away, but couldn’t move. She wanted to yell, scream, anything. But she couldn’t. What good would it do? No one would help her. His invisible hand slid down from her breast to her thigh. She knew he was controlling her body. That didn’t stop the feelings of pure shame and humiliation that assaulted her as she felt moisture flood between her legs at his phantom touch. She let out a single, solitary sob and closed her eyes, willing for it to be over. “So wet,” he taunted her. “Your body knows who I am, whore.” She couldn’t hold it in anymore. Her body shook with the force of her crying.
“No! No! No!” she kept screaming, but he kept taunting her. Please, don’t…no!” He ignored her. There was a sharp stinging pain between her legs. She choked on the scream that escaped from her throat involuntarily. She wanted to close her legs to protect herself, but she couldn’t move. Suddenly, he was behind her, holding her in a tight grip, pinning her arms to her sides in a bear hug.
“Shhhh.”
“No! No! No!”
“Shhhh, I’m right here.”
“No, get away from me! Please, no!
“Isabel, sweetie, it’s ok.” Isabel? He never called her Isabel. She opened her eyes, expecting to see him, sneering at her from above while he took her body. She didn’t see him. She didn’t see anything. Blackness. She shut her eyes, as the world started to spin. “Isabel! Isabel!” The arms tightened around her.
“No! No!” her sobs echoed. She screamed, she cried, she tried to get away, but she couldn’t. He was too strong, holding her too tightly.
“Isabel, shhh. Baby, you’re ok.”
Baby?
“It’s alright, just open your eyes.” No, she didn’t want to open her eyes. “Come on, open your eyes for me Iz, I’ve got you. Shhh, it’s ok.” But…that wasn’t his voice, that voice sounded warm, soothing, calm. That sounded like…”Shhhh, come on, open your eyes for me. I’m right here. No one’s going to hurt you now.”

Isabel’s eyes flew open. She couldn’t breathe. His arms tightened around her. She was trapped. She clawed at him frantically. He grabbed her wrists, immobilizing her further, keeping her from hurting herself and him, but she only struggled harder “No! No! No! No! Please…no! Don’t hurt me!” Alex blanched. She thought he would hurt her? He almost let go of her wrists, but was forced to hold them tighter when she came dangerously close to giving him a laceration with a fingernail. Her eyes were open, but she was still lost in whatever hellish dream world she was in. Letting her go wasn’t an option, she would hurt herself, or him. So he did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped her in a tight hold from behind, as tight as he could without hurting her, and began speaking directly into her ear, low and soothing.
“Shhhhh, Isabel, it’s ok. It’s ok, it’s Alex, Baby. Alex. I’ve got you. I’d never hurt you. I love you, shhhhh. I will never let anything happen to you. Relax. Breathe for me, that’s it, you’re ok. Yeah, you’re alright. It’s just me, everything’s ok now. Shhhh.” For nearly five minutes, he kept up his running monologue, repeating everything at least five times, holding her tightly against his chest. At this point he was waiting for her to either realize who he was, or pass out from exhaustion. He wasn’t sure which would happen first.
It was too hard to struggle. She was getting tired. He was too strong. But she couldn’t stop. If she stopped, she was giving up, letting him win. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. But she was so tired…“Shhhhh, Isabel, it’s ok. It’s ok, it’s Alex, Baby. Alex. I’ve got you. I’d never hurt you., shhhhh. I will never let anything happen to you. Relax. Breathe for me, that’s it, you’re ok. Yeah, you’re alright. It’s just me, everything’s ok now. Shhhh.” Alex? Alex…Alex wasn’t there. He couldn’t be there. He didn’t know. This had to be some sick joke he was playing on her. But his voice sounded so…real. She wished it could be true. But he couldn’t know. He’d hate her, just like Max and Michael were going to. “Open your eyes Isabel, look at me.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no…” she moaned. Alex sighed and held her tighter. She was drenched in sweat, twisting and turning in his arms, still trying to escape.
“Isabel…sweetheart…”

“Isabel…sweetheart…” He never called her sweetheart. It sliced through the fog in her brain. Her eyes focused.
“Alex?” she sobbed, still not completely believing her eyes. Alex breathed a sigh of momentary relief.
“It’s me baby, it’s me. Shhhh, you’re ok.” He looked down at her, kissing her forehead.
“No, no…you aren’t…you can’t…no.” more tears spilled down her cheeks. Alex’s stomach clenched when he heard the despair in her voice.
“I am sweetheart, I am. I’m right here. It’s ok.” He framed her face with his hands, forcing her to look up at him from her position on his lap. She shook her head in his grip, continuing to sob helplessly. He kissed her forehead again, which only made her cry harder. “Shhhh.” Alex felt completely inadequate. It had taken him this long to get her to wake up completely, and now she was pulling away from him. He briefly considered calling for Max and Michael, but he didn’t want her to freak out more. This was between them. He began to drop soft, gentle kisses on her cheeks, chin and temple, reassuring her of reality. “I’m here…I’m here,” he repeated between kisses
His warmth seeped into her slowly, thawing the numbness that had taken over her body in the dream. She could feel his arms surrounding her, his kisses on her face, and it hit her. He was here, holding her, not hurting her. He was gently running his fingers through her hair. She was laying on something soft and warm and her head rested in his lap.
“Alex,” she whimpered, turning over to bury her face in his lap. Not only could she reassure herself of his presence, she could also attempt to hide the tears that were free falling down her face.
“Baby…” He stroked the back of her head with one hand, and her back with the other. Isabel broke. It was too much. Everything had been brought to the surface by her dream and she hated herself for being too weak to fight it. She screamed, she cried, she sobbed, her body shook.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please no,” she whimpered helplessly. Alex moved further down on the bed so that he was lying down next to her. Wordlessly, he shifted her into his arms and pulled her head against his chest, holding her tightly. She didn’t fight him, which was both a surprise and a relief. For what seemed like hours, she cried and he held her, neither of them speaking. He briefly wondered where Max and Michael were but decided that Isabel couldn’t have handled anything else at that point.
“Shhhhh,” he soothed her gently. “I’m right here.” Her body still shook violently and he wrapped his arms more tightly around her to try to stop the shuddering. Isabel could barely breathe, he was holding her so tightly, but she didn’t care. He was warm, safe, familiar, gentle…Alex. And he hadn’t left her…yet. She still did not completely believe it. When she had calmed down so that her hitching frantic sobs had become whimpers, she managed to think enough to form a hesitant question.
“Why?” She whispered so softly, he barely heard her. It was as if she was afraid to speak. “How…?”
“Shhhh,” Alex soothed her again. “Because you need me.” She reared back, trying to push herself out of his arms, but lacked the leverage and the energy to do so.
“No! No, Alex, you can’t be here. I can’t bring you into this. Max and Michael…you…they…” She trailed off, realizing that fighting against his strong grip was useless, and she didn’t really want to. And she couldn’t bring herself to tell him why she was fighting him. He would know too much. And then she wouldn’t be able to avoid him…it.
“Too late Iz,” he said solemnly, taking her chin gently and forcing her to look at him. “I’m not going anywhere, and you can yell at Max and Michael all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m here. I’m not leaving, no matter what you say. And they were right to tell me, admit it.”
“You don’t know anything,” she whimpered into his chest.
“I know that something’s going on. Something’s been making you a nervous wreck for the past month. You’ve been scaring Max and Michael. And you’re scaring me Isabel.” He forced her to look at him again. “You’re scared, don’t lie to me. Tell me what’s scaring you.” Damn him. Damn Max and Michael for calling him. Because, looking into his concerned blue eyes and listening to the conviction and compassion in his words, she almost blurted it out. She almost told him everything. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut.
“No,” she moaned miserably. “I can’t.” She tried to pull away from him again, but this time, was assaulted by a throbbing pain that engulfed her entire lower body. She felt something wet and cried out at both the pain and the sudden knowledge of what it was. “Ahhhh!” She bolted upright as tears ran down her face and her eyes squeezed tightly, trying to hide it from Alex. But he heard the difference in her cry and knew instinctively that she was in pain.
“Isabel? Where does it hurt?” He sat up with her, scanning her body for injuries.
“Nowhere, it doesn’t...hurt,” she lied through tears and gritted teeth. Alex saw the way she winced while clenching and unclenching her thighs. And he knew.
“Oh Iz,” he sighed, half in sympathy, half in mild frustration. He suddenly got up from the bed, not missing the slightly panicked look in her eyes as he did so. He cupped her head with his hand and guided her down on the bed. “Lie back sweetheart.” “What…what are you doing?” she whimpered, looking up at him with scared eyes.
“Shhhh, trust me.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead as he began to peel the blankets from her body, exposing her upper legs. Isabel began to shake.
“No Alex, please!” she begged him. She grabbed at the blankets, attempting to hide herself. His heart was breaking for her. He looked up at her, caressing her cheek with his hand.
“Shhh, do you trust me?” he asked her solemnly. “I won’t hurt you. I just need to see.” He punctuated each statement with a tender kiss and waited. She looked up at him, her eyes full of shame and tears. He gazed back at her with unwavering love. He tenderly brushed a lock of stray hair away from her forehead. He thought that she was afraid of him hurting her? Not Alex. She had to reassure him, and she knew of only one way to do that. Letting out a trembling breath, she whispered,
“I trust you.” Her whole body trembled as she said it, but he knew she was telling the truth. He nodded and kissed her soundly on the lips in an attempt to relax and distract her.
“Relax,” he said softly as his warm hands pried her cold and shaking ones from her death grip on the sheet. He squeezed her hands in gentle reassurance before slowly pulling the blankets off of her. “I won’t hurt you, just relax. Breathe.” She tried to do as he said, to calm the quaking of her entire body, but it wasn’t working. She sucked in mouthfuls of air and sagged against the bed. “It’s ok,” he reassured her again as he pulled the oversized t-shirt above her waist, “I won’t hurt you.” She was nude beneath the shirt. He carefully kept his reaction neutral. Her thighs were clenched together as she shook. “Isabel, will you let me?” His eyes met hers and she nodded, consciously relaxing her legs. “It’s ok,” he reassured her again. He placed his hands gently on her trembling thighs and spread them slightly. A lump settled in his stomach as he looked at her. Her labia were swollen and bruised and the blood flowing from her was a result of the obvious tearing of the vaginal walls. There were copious bruises high on her inner thighs as well.
He noticed how she was shaking against his hands and silently closed her thighs, bringing the shirt down to cover her. He looked up at her and the sight of her face broke his heart all over again. Her eyes were tightly closed against the tears that could not be stopped from cascading down her face as she cried without making a sound. Her whole body trembled helplessly. Alex quickly sat on the bed, stretching out next to her and taking her into his arms, holding her as tightly as he could and rocking slowly as she sobbed.
“Shhhh, it’s ok, it’s ok.” He kissed her forehead, letting her bury her head in his chest. “I’ve got you now. I’m right here, you’re safe, everything’s alright.” He kept whispering soothing things in her ear, stroking her arms and her back. “You’re ok, you’re ok.” Many minutes later, Isabel’s sobs turned to whimpers and she stopped continuously shaking.
“Isabel?” he asked her softly. She was no longer crying but she hadn’t taken her face away from his shoulder. She didn’t speak for such a long time that he thought he either hadn’t heard her or had fallen asleep. “Isabel?” He kept his voice low and soothing.
“Is it bad?” she whispered, afraid of the answer. Alex almost didn’t hear her.
“You’re going to be fine,” he assured her. After a lengthy pause, he got up the guts to ask. “Isabel…who did this to you? We need to go to the hospital and have you checked out.” Isabel immediately tensed, clutching his sweater in her fists.
“No! Please!”
“Iz, please, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. I know you’re scared sweetie, but I’m not going anywhere.” Isabel panicked.
“I can’t…he’s…he’s gone.” Alex could feel the rage building up inside of him, all of it directed towards the bastard who did this to her.
“Do you know him?” She didn’t answer. “Isabel?” She shook her head against his chest. Alex could tell she was lying. “Isabel, look at me.” How could she tell him? He knew her too well, she knew that he could tell she was lying. He would hate her, he would tell Max and Michael, they would hate her. Her life would be over. But she was so tired. And it hurt so much. And he knew she was lying. And if she looked at him, she didn’t have a chance of keeping up the charade. Before she knew what was happening, he slipped a hand under her chin and brought her face up to look at him. “Do you know him?” He repeated. Shamefully, she nodded, tears leaking out of her closed eyes. “Who was it?” She tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her. “Isabel. I just want to help you, but you have to tell me the truth.” In the back of his mind, he wondered if he was pushing her too far, but he didn’t have anything else to go on. “Was it someone from school?” She shook her head, averting her eyes. “Ok, it’s ok baby, take your time,” he soothed as he pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her.
“You’re not going to believe me,” she said, muffled against his shirt.
“I promise, Iz, whatever it is, just tell me. I’ll believe you.” Minutes ticked by and neither of them said anything. Alex forced himself to stay calm.
Isabel was slowly going insane. Her head felt like it was going to explode. She couldn’t tell him. She had to tell him. She didn’t want to tell him. She wanted to tell him. She wanted him to hold her and tell her it was going to be ok. But he might hate her. He might take one look at her disgusting traitorous body, and decide he didn’t want anything to do with her. She would have no one left. But he was here now, holding her, telling her he loved her, telling her he wouldn’t leave her. Alex was so gentle and kind, so unlike him. Deep in her heart, she knew this. But what could he do? If she told him, he couldn’t protect her from her dreams. He couldn’t make him go away.
But at least she wouldn’t wake up alone.
If he wasn’t completely disgusted by her. She took a deep breath.
“I won’t leave you,” he whispered at that moment, as if reading her mind. “I’m right here.” She felt his arms tighten around her. She took another deep breath, inhaling Alex’s scent on his shirt that was damp with her tears. It was another eternity before she got up the courage to speak.
“Khivar.”
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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Post by Little One »

A/N: A little more angst. Yes, there is a lot. Such is the nature of sexual assault and the majority of this story. Most of Isabel's reactions are consistent with the first acute stages of Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS), a form of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm a psych major, I've been eating, living and breathing this information lately and I think it's important for everyone to be aware of. This chapter is short, but intense. Don't shoot me. I promise, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :) As always, feedback is appreciated. :mrgreen:

Chapter 4

“Khivar.” She whispered it so softly that she hoped he didn’t hear her. But she could tell by the deep breath he took that he had. Alex wasn’t 100% sure about all of the alien mythology, but he knew enough to know that Khivar was a bad guy. And that he had the ability to mess with Isabel’s mind.
“Do you want me to get Max and Michael?” He felt kind of out of his element here. They might be able to shed some light where she wasn’t willing.
“No! Please…I…I can only take so much of this. You’re the only one I want to know right now, please!”
“Ok, just me, I promise. But you’re going to have to explain it to me a little better.” Isabel took a deep breath. He didn’t know. Could she relive the whole thing and tell him? She had to, she realized. She couldn’t lie to him, he would know.
“I…I don’t know if I can do this.”
“You can. You’re so strong most of the time Isabel. It’s ok if you’re not sometimes. You can do this, and if at some point you feel like you’re going to lose control, you’re not alone, I’ll be right here to hold you.”
“Khivar was my- Vilandra’s lover on Antar,” she began suddenly, nearly whispering and refusing to look at him. “I…he was the leader of the regime that was trying to overthrow Zan.” She paused, breathing deeply. Alex sensed her losing composure and tightened his hold on her. “I…I don’t know why I did it, I don’t even remember doing it!” She started to cry softly. “But…but I was Zan’s weakness. Because of me... he and Michael were…killed!” Her crying became more frantic, but Alex didn’t interrupt, so she continued. “She…she was a traitor Alex. And now…now he comes to me in my sleep…he calls me…calls me a…whore. Says that I belong to him. And…and he makes me…he makes me…do things. And…and I like it, oh God help me! I like it!” She was full out sobbing now. Alex rocked her, letting her vent her grief on his shoulder. “I’m horrible Alex! I don’t deserve them, I don’t deserve you! God, how could I do a thing like that? They’ll hate me. You should just leave!” He could see her shattering into a million pieces right before his eyes. She actually expected him…and her brothers…to leave her? Because of something that she had no control over? No wonder she was afraid to go to sleep. Her dreams were haunted by a rapist. Her ranting had digressed into sobs again and Alex sat there with his arms wrapped around her, thinking of all the things he wanted to say to her but not sure where to begin. “Please don’t leave me Alex, please don’t leave me.”
“Shhh…I’m not leaving you Isabel,” he reassured her, “you aren’t going to be alone anymore.” She shook her head in denial and hid her face against him again. “Baby, listen to me.” She wrapped her arms around his neck as if her life depended on it. He pulled back so he could see her and cupped her face in his hands. Her eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot, full of unshed tears. He saw fear, shame, doubt, and an unbelievable amount of trust staring back at him through her. He couldn’t tell which fragile emotion was dominant, and he doubted she could either. He kissed her forehead and consciously lowered his voice. “You are Isabel Evans. You are not Vilandra. At the most, you are identical twins who live thousands of light years and a few centuries apart from each other. No one in this life, not Max, not Michael, and not me, will hold you accountable for her actions. Max and Michael love you Isabel. They’re your brothers. They have always protected you. They will always protect you. You know that.”
“No Alex…”
“Shhh,” he pressed a finger to her lips. “Let me finish. I don’t push you on a lot of things Isabel, but I’m going to push this. You need to tell them what’s going on. They went downstairs only after making me promise to call them if something happened, and I’m surprised Max isn’t up here banging the door down as we speak.” Isabel averted her eyes shamefully. “No, don’t do that,” he admonished her gently, dipping his head to meet her downcast eyes. “You are not guilty. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” He paused, taking a deep breath and gathering his thoughts. “Don’t be ashamed in front of me,” he said gently. “I love you, Isabel, and you’re not getting rid of me, no matter how hard you try.”
“But Alex I…” she started to sob. “I…I’m…dirty…I’m damaged. You…you deserve better. I…I wanted to…to give myself to you, I wanted it to be special, but it can’t be now, and it’s all my fault and I…I’m sorry!” Alex’s heart skipped a beat as his stomach dropped.
“Isabel,” he said gruffly as he pulled her in to his chest tighter, his throat constricting with emotion as he realized the implications of her statement. “Sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear as she continued to sob. “What he did to you, that wasn’t sex sweetheart, that wasn’t making love, that was violence. That was mind control.”
“I should have been stronger…should have stopped him!”
“No sweetheart, no,” he whispered, not letting her continue in her downward spiral of self hatred. He didn’t speak for a long time as he waited for her to regain what little control she had left. “He wasn’t gentle with you,” he whispered suddenly in a tone that sent warm tingles down Isabel’s spine, despite the turmoil in her head. “He wasn’t tender,” he continued. “He didn’t ask your permission…He didn’t touch and kiss every inch of your body... He didn’t worship you…. He didn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved… He didn’t make love to you.” Isabel clung to him as she started to cry again. Alex kissed her forehead. “And when you are ready,” he continued softly, “I will be the first and only person to ever kiss you…touch you…make love to you. And it will be special, because when you give yourself to me, it will be your choice. And I will be honored to be the one you choose.” His heartfelt words were slowly tearing down what little resistance she had left.
“Alex…” she barely got his name out before she lost control completely. She curled up against his body, buried her face between him and the pillow, and sobbed. The noise was gut wrenching. Anger, pain, guilt, disbelief, and immeasurable love flowed through Isabel uncontrollably. She shook. Alex flinched. She sounded like a wounded animal. He curbed the instinct to run for cover, and instead, gently rolled her on to her side so that her back was to him, careful not to cause her additional pain. He spooned against her, pressing his chest to her back and wrapping his arms around her, gentle but firm. "I...love...you...Alex."
“Shhhhh…” he whispered in her ear. “Shhhh.” He didn’t bother to say anything else, knowing that she wasn’t consciously listening. As an afterthought, he released her long enough to disentangle the sheet from the foot of the bed and wrap them both in it. Isabel shuddered and sobbed, but didn’t fight him when he pulled her back into his arms It wasn’t long before she was simply too exhausted to remain conscious.
Alex remained awake long after Isabel fell asleep, watching her, talking low and soothing to her when she cried out in her sleep. A glance at the digital clock told him it was well after midnight. He briefly wondered where Max and Michael were as he pulled Isabel closer in to him and closed his eyes.

“Ok Fearless Leader, we need a plan.”
“I know…” Max’s initial panic and rage had lessened to a dull roar in his head, allowing him to think somewhat clearly; keyword: somewhat. They sat in the living room, staring at the muted TV screen where a British guy in a suit was singing the praises of a vacuum cleaner that didn’t lose suction. Max breathed deeply. “We can’t…we can’t dream walk her. She’s the only one who can do that, and I don’t think she would appreciate our being there. Whatever it is, she wants it hidden. We have to respect that.”
“Bullshit.”
“Michael…”
“Ok, ok, but this is crap Max, I can’t stand by and watch her like this.” Max glared at him.
“And you think I can?”
“No…I’m just…damn it Max, I hate feeling powerless.”
“Yeah…I know the feeling.” The inhuman scream emitted from the bedroom made both of them jump to their feet. They had heard her crying earlier but had both exercised significant restraint, knowing Alex was with her. “Michael wait,” Max hissed, grabbing his arm. “If we go in there, it’s only gonna make it worse.”
“Max!”
“Alex will take care of her.” Michael nodded and settled for pressing his ear to the door. They stood there, listening to Alex’s murmurings, and after a long time, it was quiet. Several minutes later, Michael cracked open the door, unable to just sit there and do nothing. “Michael…” Max warned, but Michael cut him off.
“I have to Max.” Max nodded and allowed his baser instincts to get the best of him as he and Michael peered into the dark room, illuminated only by the sliver of light from the hallway. They could see the outline of two people lying spooned against each other on the bed, Alex on the outside with his back to them, as if protecting Isabel with his entire body. Both breathed a sigh of relief.
“Maybe he can help her,” Max whispered to Michael, “because I don’t have a clue anymore.”
TBC
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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Post by Little One »

Chapter 5

“Hello my darling girl.” Isabel spun around in terror. But just like before, she couldn’t see him.
“I’m not yours!” she screamed. “Maybe Vilandra was, but I’m not, I’m ISABEL EVANS and I don’t belong to anyone.”
“That’s a lie lover, you were made to belong to me.”
“No!”
“Don’t deny it. Even now, I can smell you, taste you. Your body is so responsive, so sweet.” Isabel curled in on herself. “Do you feel it? Do you feel your body responding to me?” Isabel shook her head, rocking back and forth on her heels, even as she felt hot liquid rush between her legs. Unbidden, erotic images appeared in her head, making her moan and lose her balance. She fell backwards, gasping and panting, unable to stop the heat coursing through her body.
“Please…no,” she whimpered, but she was incapable of talking louder or fighting him. Heat swirled through her abdomen, making the sensitive flesh between her legs swell and ache.
“Starting to feel good, isn’t it lover?”
“NO!” she tried to scream, but it came out as a moan. But he was right. The line between right and wrong was beginning to blur as the ache intensified. She needed…NO. She didn’t want it. She didn’t want this.
“Don’t fight me lover, it will feel so much better if you just relax and let yourself feel it.” Isabel’s hips had started rocking against her will, trying to relieve the ache, but without friction, the ache was only intensified.
“That’s it, don’t fight me love. Look how responsive you are. You can’t help yourself can you? No. You want this.”
“Please…” she gasped, unsure of exactly what she was asking for.
“It would be so nice if you could just relieve that ache, wouldn’t it? But you can’t…how frustrating,” he taunted her mercilessly. Isabel was lost. The heat was making her dizzy. The ache in her lower body seemed to intensify. She wanted to do something about it, relieve it somehow, but she could not move except to thrust her hips helplessly in the air. She shut her eyes tightly, praying for something, praying that it would end. “You think that your sorry excuse for a man can satisfy you lover? He can’t. He will never give you what I can give you.” His taunting words sliced through the fog he had created in her brain.
“No! she screamed at the darkness, “Alex is a thousand times the man that you ever were! I BELONG to him!”
“Are you so sure about that, whore?” She felt invisible fingers enter her, caressing her roughly, pinching her clit. Her body opened to him, fully aroused, she sobbed shamefully.
“Get away from me!” she screamed, even though the heat almost made her delirious.
“Whore,” he whispered.

Isabel woke up screaming. Blindly, she struck out at the large body lying next to her in the bed, hitting, scratching, shoving. Alex was immediately awake. “Isabel!” Instinctively trying to defend himself, he tried to get a hold of her wrists, but she jerked away from him.
“Don’t touch me!” she scrambled away from him, getting tangled in the sheets. Completely off balance, she fell off of the bed, hitting the floor with a loud thud. She continued to sob and struggle against the sheets that were twisted around her legs. Quickly becoming coherent, Alex turned on the bedside lamp and swung his legs over the edge, mentally noting that it was 3:30 in the morning. Isabel sat on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, rocking back and forth, back and forth. “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me,” she chanted mindlessly. Alex knew the signs of trauma when he saw them. Cautiously, he got down on the floor next to her, giving her distance, but making sure he was in her line of sight. He remained silent, as hard as it was, and watched her while sweat poured down her face, soaking her pajamas and her body trembled violently. They sat there for what felt like an eternity. When her chanting turned into moaning and sobbing, Alex moved closer, still not touching.
“Isabel…” he whispered over her quiet sounds of distress. For the first time, she looked up at his voice. He almost cursed, but held it in at the last second. A welt in the shape of a handprint marred the right side of her face. He hoped she didn’t notice his initial reaction, as he carefully reigned in his emotions, doing his best to appear unaffected.
“Can I hold you?” he asked tentatively, not wanting to scare her more. She nodded tentatively and he moved closer, reaching out and touching her arm. She was burning up. But he had other things to worry about at the moment, like the way she tried not to flinch at his touch. “Isabel?” He asked, looking for confirmation again. She nodded almost imperceptibly. He sat down next to her, cautiously pulling her into his lap. He ran his hands up and down her arms, noticing again, how heat seemed to radiate off of her skin. He put his arms around her gently, giving her time to protest if she wanted to. “Ok?” he asked gently. She nodded, but sat stiffly against him, still crying occasionally, refusing to close her eyes for even a second. “Shhhh,” he soothed, reverting back to the things that had calmed her down before. Leaning back against him, she tucked her face into the crook of his neck, breathing deeply.
“Alex,” she rasped, her voice hoarse from screaming.
“Hmm?”
“I’m so hot.”
“Yeah, you’re burning up. Do you want to take a bath?”
“No.” The idea of taking her clothes off really didn’t appeal to her right then.
“Will you let me get a wet washcloth?”
“Ok.” Gently, he lifted her in his arms and laid her back on the bed.
“I’ll be right back.” Once down the hall and out of her sight, Alex leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. He wanted so badly to help her, to make this go away, but he couldn’t. He could only wait for the dreams to come and hope she didn’t pull away when he tried to comfort her. He was starting to feel helpless.
“Alex,” said a voice from the end of the hall.
“Geez, Max, you scared me.”
“Sorry.” The two of them stood there, staring at each other in the darkness. “How is she?”
“Not good,” he answered brutally.
“I heard her screaming. I guess I’m tuned to it now.”
“She does this every night?” he was horrified.
“Yeah.”
“Where’s Michael?”
“Sleeping on the couch, dead to the world. He wore himself out pacing a hole in the floor and exercising his self control, trying not to come up here and barge in.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
“Not to pry, Alex, but…do you have any idea what’s going on?”
“I think so Max, but it’s not my thing to tell. Isabel will have to be the one to do that, I can’t break her trust.”
“I know, I just…need to know that she’s talking to someone.”
“Yeah, it took pretty much the whole night for her to open up to me though, and she’s terrified of what you and Michael will think.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured that.”
“She needs to tell you and Michael, this is something you guys need to know, I am way out of my element here.”
“No you’re not Alex, as long as Isabel wants you around, that’s what matters.” He let out a deep sigh.
“I know Max. God, I know. I’m working on it.” He went in to the bathroom, Max watching him closely as he soaked a washcloth and filled a glass with cold water. “She woke up from the nightmare sweating,” he explained as Max eyed him suspiciously. Alex headed back towards the bedroom glass of water and washcloth in hand.
“Michael’s downstairs and I’m in my room if you need anything.”
“Ok, thanks Max, and…thanks in general, you know, for being straight with me about Isabel.”
“I had to be Alex, I know my sister. She’s in love with you. If this was Liz, you would have told me.” Alex nodded his agreement.
“I need to get back before she freaks out.”
“’Night Alex.”
“’Night Max.” Alex walked back into the room to see her curled in on herself, still rocking back and forth.
“You left,” she accused, sounding like a lost child, “you left and I didn’t know if you were coming back.” Alex placed the washcloth and the glass of water on the nightstand. He sat behind her on the bed, carefully taking her in his arms so that she was lying against him, trembling slightly.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured her. “I ran into Max and he just wanted to know how you were doing.” At the mention of her brother, Isabel freaked.
“Oh my god, please Alex, I can’t see him right now…I can’t…I can’t…I can’t.”
“Shhhh, no, not right now Iz, it’s just me, I promise.” He didn’t think it was the best time to push, so he kept his mouth shut. She was still burning up. Alex reached for the wet cloth and pulled her head back against his shoulder so that he could wipe her face, neck, and upper chest. She seemed to relax against him as the cool water soothed her. He handed her the glass and she drank greedily. “Feel better?” She nodded. He saw how she fought to keep her eyes open as she leaned more heavily against him.
“Alex?”
“Hm?”
“I want him to go away.” She sounded so small and helpless, so unlike the strong, independent Isabel she usually was.
“I know sweetheart,” he kissed her forehead. “I’m right here, Michael and Max are down the hall. We’ll help you.” As tired as she was, Isabel could not close her eyes for more than two seconds, and Alex didn’t push her to try, not wanting her to have another nightmare any more than she did. Only as the clock crept toward 5 am, did Isabel’s eyes finally close, but only because she couldn’t hold them open a second longer. As Alex shifted to get more comfortable, her eyes shot open, whimpering in panic and clinging to him.
“Ok, it’s ok, I’m still right here, just lying down, ok?” He put an arm across her chest. She scooted closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder and grasping his arm
“I’m sorry Alex,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“Sorry that…that you have to see me like this, that I can’t be stronger, this isn’t me.”
“Isabel, you are strong,” he said softly, propping his head up on his hand to look at her and run his fingers through her hair, soothing her. “You’re only reacting to what’s happening to you, you can’t help that. And you kept it all to yourself for so long, do you know how brave you are to have told me? That was brave Iz.” He used his thumbs to wipe tears out of her eyes before they had a chance to fall. “But you don’t have to hide it anymore. You’re not alone and we’re going to get through this together.”
“How Alex? He’s in my head! I don’t exactly have any control over anything once I fall asleep.”
“That’s why you need to tell Max and Michael,” he pointed out softly. “They know more than I do about the alien abyss, they will be able to figure something out. That, and the fact that they’re worried sick about you. Your nightmare woke Max up and I think he was coming to check on you, he couldn’t help himself. They’re trying really hard to give you privacy, but they need to know.” She nodded, accepting the truth of his statement. “I know it’s hard, but you were brave enough to tell me. You can tell them too. And they love you Iz, you know that. They only want to know what’s going on so they can help you.” He watched the conflicting emotions play across her face.
“I know…I just don’t know how to start. I mean, you only found out because I freaked. I…I don’t even want to be in the same room when they find out! I don’t think I could stand the looks on their faces.”
“They love you Iz, they’re going to be there for you.”
“I didn’t mean like that…I mean…they’re going to freak out. They’re going to go all macho-protective on me and blame themselves, Michael especially…I just…”
“Whoa Iz, listen to yourself ok? Yes, Max and Michael are going to freak out, can you blame them? You’re their sister and someone hurt you, it’s a natural big brother reaction. That has nothing to do with aliens. It just means that they care about you, and you really need to hear that right about now, don’t you think?” She nodded. “I’ll be right here, ok? I’ll help you do whatever you need to do to tell them.”
“Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you…would you…tell them?”
“What?”
“I…I don’t think I can do it. I’m so scared, I’ll…I’ll just freak out before I can get the whole thing out, and by the time I do that, they’ll be swarming all over me like mother hens. God, I can’t.”
“I still think you should be the one to tell them Iz.”
“You don’t have to tell them…everything, just give them the gist of it. They need to hear it from someone who isn’t going to break down in the middle of it. I…I’ll tell them the rest.” Alex sighed. As much as he wanted to help Isabel, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to being the one to tell Isabel’s overprotective brothers that she had been sexually assaulted by an alien. But the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. If Isabel told them with no warning, they’d freak out, which was the last thing she needed right now. And if it made it easier for her…
“Ok Isabel.”
“Ok?”
“Ok, I’ll tell them the basics. But you need to tell them the rest. They want to hear it from you.”
“Thank you Alex,” she whispered, resting her head on his chest. He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
“Go to sleep baby, I’m right here.”
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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Post by Little One »

A nice long part to make up for the horribly long wait :) Feedback much appreciated.


Chapter 6

Alex woke up staring at the ceiling of Isabel’s room. The pre-day light told him that he had only been asleep an hour or so. He blinked a few times. Something didn’t feel right. He looked to his left, where Isabel should have been sleeping peacefully. She wasn’t. Alex bolted upright, throwing the blankets back and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Isabel?” Seeing that she wasn’t anywhere in the room, he hurried down the dim hallway, stopping when he heard faint noises coming from the bathroom. He pressed his ear against the closed door. “Isabel?” He heard the noise intensify, but there was no response. He turned the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked, and cautiously opened the door. Isabel sat curled between the sink and the toilet, with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her head was buried in her knees as she cried. Alex bit back the urge to start crying himself and approached her slowly. He took a deep breath, and that’s when he noticed the stench of vomit permeating the air. Looking into the toilet bowl, he saw that she had thrown up what was left of the contents of her stomach. He flushed the toilet, making her jump. She turned her head, looking up at him for only a moment. Alex had to fight the urge to vomit himself. The angry red handprint on her face was now angrier red, blue, purple, and black. Alex swallowed convulsively and got down on his knees beside her. He reached out and touched her knee gently. She jumped, but did not pull away. “Isabel?”
“Alex,” she cried, her voice hoarse from sobbing. “I…I had to go to the bathroom…so…so I got up…and I came in here…but then…then I saw it in the mirror and…it…it made me sick. I…I don’t feel good…” she trailed off, sobbing into her knees. Alex pushed everything he was feeling to the back of his mind. He needed to be there for her.
“Ok, it’s ok sweetheart. Do you feel like you have to throw up again?” She shook her head. He filled a cup sitting on the sink with water and handed it to her. “Drink, it’ll get the nasty taste out of your mouth.” She drank it as if she was dying of thirst and handed the empty glass back to him. He had to force himself not to flinch when he saw the mark again. He kneeled over her in the cramped space and took her face gently in his hands. She closed her eyes against the tears, ashamed to look at him as he studied the bruise.
“It hurts.” Kissing her forehead, he soothed her gently.
“It’s ok. I’m going to help you back to bed, ok? Then I’ll get you some ice.” He stood up over her and she struggled to follow, but she was too weak and nauseated. Before she could protest, she found herself being lifted easily off of the floor and carried down the hall. She stayed unnervingly silent as he eased her down onto the bed. “Isabel, look at me,” he commanded gently, placing a hand behind her head. She didn’t try to look away, but the look in her eyes made Alex’s stomach clench. “I’m going down to the kitchen to get you an ice pack. I promise, I’m not going anywhere, ok? I’ll be right back.” He smoothed her long hair away from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear, and pulled the blankets up to her chest. “Ok?” She nodded.
As soon as Alex left the room, she clenched her eyes shut, trying to contain the terror she felt at being alone for even a short period of time. She hated it. If she was sleeping, he was there, taunting her, teasing her, hurting her, raping her. If she was awake, he was all she could think about. And now…now she had an ugly, visible, painful reminder of the horror in her dreams. He had marked her, she couldn’t get away.

Alex tried not to think, and failed miserably as he filled an ice bag and found a pint of Gatorade in the refrigerator. It was one thing to tell yourself that beating up your girlfriend’s rapist would only add to the problem, it was another thing entirely to deal with the fact that there was no concrete rapist to beat up, even if he wanted to. Khivar could do anything he wanted to Isabel from inside her mind, but there was nothing either of them could do about it. She couldn’t go to a hospital or a psychologist for obvious reasons; too many questions, not enough answers. The powerlessness was almost overwhelming.
He found her not five minutes later, curled once again into the fetal position gripping a pillow for dear life and weeping silently. He sat down on the bed next to her, careful not to startle her. He ran a hand up and down her arm in silent reassurance She seemed to relax and allowed him to remove the pillow from her death grip and roll her over onto her back. He gently cupped her chin and turned her head, exposing the bruise. She whimpered, in shame or in pain, he couldn’t tell.
“It’s ok, I’ll try not to hurt you.” He placed the ice on her cheek. She winced but didn’t try to stop him. Keeping the ice in place, he maneuvered himself behind her. He wrapped his free arm around her and pulled her close. “Shhh.” He didn’t know what else to say. She needed sleep. He could tell she was exhausted, but also fully understood why her body wouldn’t let her rest. “Do you need anything else?” She shook her head.
“Please, just hold me. Don’t…don’t leave.” He could tell she was trying not to cry for the umpteenth time.
“Shhh, I’m right here, not going anywhere.” He could feel how tense she was. Her eyes were closed tightly. The muscles in her back and neck jumped periodically and she kept grinding her teeth together. “I’m right here. You’re ok. I know it’s hard, but you have to try to relax. Can you do that?” She shook her head and her shoulders started to shake. Taking a deep breath, he whispered in her ear. “It’s ok baby, just let it out. I’m holding you, you’re safe.” He knew that it was only half of the truth. He couldn’t protect her from her psyche, but it was what she needed to hear.
“I can’t do this anymore!” she sobbed.
“I know sweetheart.” The gentleness in his voice was the last straw. For what felt like the millionth time in the last twelve hours, Isabel cried. Alex let her, doing nothing but holding her and whispering reassurances. Nearly an hour later, she unwillingly drifted off to sleep.

Michael hadn’t slept all night. Whenever Max paced the floor in front of him, he closed his eyes, but the truth was that neither of them slept at all. From the faint noises upstairs, it didn’t sound like Isabel had either, but he was exercising every last ounce of self control he possessed trying not to make it worse for her by freaking out. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her the way she had been yesterday afternoon; scared to death, guilty, ashamed, shaking. He had never seen her like this before. And quite frankly, it was scaring him. The more he thought about, the more sense it made that she had been raped. He wasn’t sharing that particular suspicion of his with Max again, whom he suspected had already figured it out for himself. This left him with nothing to do but go down a mental list of all the men he had ever seen Isabel with and hate each and every one of them, save for Alex, who seemed to be the only good thing about the whole damn situation.
“Michael, wake up,” Max shook him. Michael jumped, immediately alert. “Isabel’s asleep, Alex wants to talk to us.” Warily, Michael rose to his feet, rubbing his eyes into focus. He joined them in the kitchen. Max stood in the corner, his arms crossed, staring expectantly at Alex. Alex sat in a kitchen chair, looking nervously between Max and Michael. Michael could tell he wasn’t looking forward to saying whatever he had to say.
“Sit down guys,” Alex began, but Max and Michael both refused to move. Alex took a deep breath. “Isabel’s asleep. She asked me to talk to you and tell you what’s been going on. I tried to get her to do it herself but she’s feeling so ashamed that she wouldn’t do it. I told her I’d tell you the basics, but the rest is between you and her.” He waited for one of them to say something, but they just looked at him expectantly. Alex suddenly realized why Isabel was so afraid to do this. He took another deep breath. “As you know, she’s been having these dreams. She wakes up screaming and she can’t fall back asleep.” He paused, there was no other way to say this. “In her dreams, Khivar rapes her.”
“Motherfucker…” Michael growled.
“Hold it Michael,” Max warned, his face white, “he’s not done yet. Go on Alex.”
“From what I can tell, he uses mind control to arouse her. He taunts her, telling her how horrible she is because Vilandra betrayed you guys in your previous alien existence. But it’s more than just a dream, it has to be, because she has the…physical signs…of rape.”
“What do you mean?” Max interrupted.
“I’ve…I’ve seen them Max, god. The first time she woke up while I was with her yesterday, she woke up screaming in pain. I think that was the first time he actually…did it. I asked her to let me look because I needed to know, to make sure she wasn’t life threateningly injured. I…I wanted to take her to the hospital until she told me the whole story. She also has a slap mark on her face.” Alex couldn’t remember the last time he had been so close to losing it. The tears welled up in his eyes and he put his head on the kitchen table, trying to regain composure. Absolute silence filled the room. “She’s ashamed,” he continued after an eternity. “She really thinks you guys will hate her for what Vilandra did.”
“That wasn’t her!” Michael protested loudly. “How could we blame her for something she didn’t do?”
“I told her that. She doesn’t see it that way, that’s why she was so afraid to tell you. She doesn’t want to lose you.”
“She’s not going to lose us,” Max pointed out.
“I know that, you know that, but she doesn’t. If she ever believed she was innocent, it was destroyed when that bastard started attacking her in her sleep. He knows exactly how to get to her and he does it every time.” Max’s fists clenched and unclenched as he thought. He thought of Isabel, alone, scared, and hurting. No wonder she clung to him for dear life. No wonder she was afraid to sleep alone. She thought he would hate her. Suddenly it all made sense and Max felt like he had been sucker punched. He looked over at Michael, whose eyes reflected a similar train of thought.
“Oh god.”
“You need to talk to her Max. I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you.”
“No, I understand,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Holy shit Max, what the hell do we do?” Michael finally voiced the unasked question.
“I don’t care what I have to do or how long it takes,” Max growled protectively. “The bastard has her brainwashed and we have to undo it somehow.”
“Look,” Alex interrupted. “Why don’t you guys go sit with her until she wakes up. I’ll be there in a minute.” Max nodded mutely. He walked out of the kitchen with Michael close behind.


Isabel fought her way to consciousness. He had not come for her this time, but she was stuck in that cornerless room, always stuck, no way out. It was so cold, so dark, she was afraid of forgetting what warmth felt like. She bolted upright in bed, freezing cold, yet sweating. At least he hadn’t come this time. She immediately saw Max and Michael sitting on the floor with their backs against the wall, staring at her.
“Isabel?” She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself, her whole body shaking.
“Wh-Where’s Alex?”
“He’s downstairs getting breakfast,” Max assured her. She stared straight ahead, clutching her knees to her chest. “Another nightmare?” She nodded, not really feeling like going into the details. It was silent for another minute or so. Isabel realized that they were staring at her.
“Oh god,” she whispered, “he told you.” She looked so terrified that Max wanted to kick himself. Why hadn’t he seen it before? He cautiously approached her. Her tear filled eyes met his. “Max?” She sounded like a lost little girl.
“C’mere Iz,” not giving her a chance to respond, he pulled her against his chest, holding her tightly. She stiffened against him. “It’s ok Iz, it’s ok.” He started running his hands up and down her back in a soothing motion. Finally she relaxed, putting her arms around him and burying her head in his shoulder.
“Max.”
“Shhh.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Michael’s hand on her back made her jump.
“Michael?” Turning away from Max, she looked up at him as he perched on the side of the bed. The first thing he saw was the completely terrified look on her face. The second thing he saw was the painful handprint that marked her cheek. He caught her chin gently in his hands, running his thumb gently against her jaw, carefully avoiding the bruise. She winced under his scrutiny but didn’t pull away. “Michael?” Silently, he opened his arms. She crawled to him and curled up against his chest, crying silently as he rocked her.
“Shhh, it’s alright Iz. We’re here now, we won’t let anyone hurt you.” “You’re…you’re not…mad?”
“Of course not.” She pressed her face into Michael’s shoulder and began to cry again. “Isabel, look at me.” She raised teary eyes to his face and he brushed a strand of damp hair away from here forehead. “You are not Vilandra.” She tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her. “You’re not her, you’re Isabel. They are two different people and you are not responsible for her actions.” Isabel nodded, though it was clear she didn’t completely believe them.
“He…he hurts me…in my…sleep.” She whispered so low that they weren’t even sure what she had said at first. Max flinched as he pictured what Alex had already told them.
“Can you tell us how?” he prodded gently. She shook her head.
“He…he comes to me and I’m in this huge dark room, and it’s…it’s so cold and there are no walls.” She shivered with the memory of it and Michael held her tighter, wrapping the comforter around her suddenly shaking shoulders. “He touches me, he makes me do…things. I can’t, oh god! I can’t!” Full out sobbing now, she buried herself further between the comforter and Michael’s chest.
“Shhh, Iz, it’s ok, you don’t have to tell us any more,” Max reassured her.
“No…no, I have to…you have to know.” Both men flinch, not sure if they want to hear it or not.
“Ok Iz, it’s ok, take your time,” Michael soothed her.
“I should be able to stop him, I mean, I can dreamwalk right? Why can’t I get him out of my head?” She turns suddenly angry eyes on Max. “Why Max? Why can’t I stop him? Why is he doing this to me?” She practically screamed at him, still crying.
“He’s sick Isabel, he’s sick and he wants someone to control.” He stroked her arm soothingly. That seemed to calm her down but she still wouldn’t let go of Michael. Max took a deep breath. “Isabel, I think I might be able to help you.” She looked up at him hopefully. “But you have to let me into your head and I’ll get flashes there’s no way around it.” She cringed. But at this point, she was almost willing to try anything.
“I don’t know…what…what do you think is…wrong?”
“I don’t know, you’d have to let me connect with you.” She cringed at the thought.
“Max… I…” she looked like she was going to break down again so Max took one of her hands, holding it tightly, willing her to feel his support. “You don’t know what it’s like.”
“You’re right, I don’t.”
“He’s so powerful.”
“You’re stronger Iz.”
“No, I’m not.” She hid her face in Michael’s chest as Max rubbed her back.
“Yes you are,” Michael said softly.
“But if you connect with me that means that I’ll get the flashes too and…”
“Yeah, you will,” Max agreed, “but Alex, Michael and I will be right here.
“But you’ll see EVERYTHING Max, god, you’ll see…”
“What he did to you?” She nodded shamefully, refusing to look at him. He took a deep breath.
“Isabel, you were raped.” She flinched, beginning to shudder in Michael’s arms as Max made her face reality; a reality that she had been trying to hide from until that moment. She didn’t respond. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t want to hurt you any more than you already are, but if it means that he’ll stop hurting you, then I’ll take that chance.” He paused, waiting for his words to sink in. ”If you want me to stop, I stop. You are the one in control here.” She looked hesitantly up at him.
“Promise?”
“Trust me Iz, I won’t let anything happen to you.” Minutes passed before she finally nodded, pulling Michael as close as she could as if she were afraid he was going to disappear.
“Ok.”
“I’m going to go get Alex, so he’ll be right here ok?”
“Ok.” She watched as he left the room, waiting until the door closed behind him before she lost it.
“Michael!”
“Shhh,” he resumed rocking her.
“I’m scared!”
“I know you are but we’re all going to be right here with you.”
“I wish there was another way.”
“Me too Iz, but you know Max won’t let anything happen to you.”
“It’s not that…he’s going to see!”
“And he’s going to figure out what’s wrong so we can fix it.”
“He’ll think I’m a slut.”
“He’s your brother Iz, if it makes him think anything it will make him think about slicing Khivar straight down the middle, which I don’t think you’d object to right?” She relaxed a little, despite her nervousness.
“Just don’t leave me Michael, you and Max, god, please don’t leave me.” She continued to cry
“Never happen.” Michael tightened his hold on her. “That’ll never happen Iz, I promise.”
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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Post by Little One »

A/N: Had a little time on my hands so I typed like a madwoman and here is the result. As far as the time line, this could take place at any time after Nicholas comes to Earth.

Flashes are in italics.

Chapter 7

“She’s not good.”

“No shit Sherlock.”

“I think I can help her though.” Alex eyed him carefully.

“How?”

“I want to connect with her. I think he has some kind of one way connection in her head, and she can’t control it because she didn’t know he put it there to begin with. As we know, Khivar’s a bastard, so it doesn’t surprise me. It’s probably been there for years and he’s just now using it because he’s jealous and she’s vulnerable.”

“Jealous of what?”

“You.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you tell her all this?”

“That I suspect that a rapist has been invading her unconscious for years? No, I didn’t think that was something she needed to know.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I want to connect with her to find out what’s wrong. If he put a connection in her brain, I will find it.”

“She agreed?”

“After a while, yeah. I think she’s desperate at this point.”

“Can you uh…disable it?”

“I won’t know that until I find it.”

“So, what’s the plan?”
“I’m not worried about me, I can do it, I’m worried about Isabel. When I connect with her, I’ll get flashes. It’s likely that she’ll get them too. She’s already traumatized enough and this is just going to add to it.”
“But we don’t really have any options do we?”

“No.”

“What can I do?”

“She wants you to be there when I do it…you need to be there. I don’t know what her reaction will be but it’s not going to be a positive experience. And this may not be the last time I have to do it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told her that I would stop if she wanted me to. So I don’t know how long I will be able to hold the connection. I may not be able to do it all at once.”

“Right.” Alex paused, “Max are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Yeah, I’m sure Alex, I’d never let her get hurt, you know that.”
“No, I meant, are you prepared for what you’re going to see? I mean, just hearing about it and seeing the results is making me want to kill the fucker. And you’re her brother…”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that.”

“Are you sure?”

“I have to help her Alex, I’m the only one who can do this. I know it’s not going to be easy to see, I’m scared to death of what I’ll see, but I can do it. I have to do it.” Alex nodded.

“Michael’s with her?”

“Yeah, he seems to be the second best at calming her down.”

“Are we going to do this now?”

“Yeah.” Alex took a deep breath.

“Ok, let’s go.”

“Alex, just a heads up. This could be like her worst nightmares times a hundred.” Max looked pained as he said it.

“I know Max, I can handle it.” Max followed him out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Isabel looked up from Michael’s arms as soon as Alex entered the room. Wordlessly, he took her from Michael, wrapping his arms around her as she clung to him for dear life. They were silent for a long time before Alex finally spoke near her ear.

“I’m right here, it’s gonna be ok.” Isabel gripped him tighter. He looked at Michael and Max over her shoulder. They quietly left the room, knowing that a few minutes alone with Alex would calm her down. He wasn’t even sure if she realized that they had left the room before she broke down sobbing. Words couldn’t fix this. Very little could fix this. Maybe “fix” wasn’t even the right word. So he stayed silent, letting her cry into his shirt.

“I’m so scared Alex…oh god. What if he sees it? He will see it! And I don’t want to live it all over again…oh god!”

“Shhh, Iz.. It’ll be ok. I talked to Max. He knows what he’s doing. You have to remember that he doesn’t blame you Iz, nobody blames you. He’s going to see stuff you don’t want him to see, yeah, but he’s also going to try to make it better. And if you want to stop, you tell him to stop, and he’ll bring you right out of it. It won’t be a dream like the others. Yes, you might have a flashback, but this time you can tell him to stop and he’ll stop. And when you open your eyes, Max will be here, Michael will be here and I’ll be right here holding you. You’re in control here Iz. Max is in control. You trust Max. It’ll be ok.” Calming down significantly, she rested her forehead on his shoulder and nodded.

“Ok.”

“Ok, what?”

“Ok, I can do this.”

“That’s my girl. Can I get Max and Michael now?” She nodded. He kissed her forehead. “You’re gonna be fine.”

“Is she ok?”

“Yeah, she’s scared shitless, but I guess that’s to be expected.”

“I wish I could think of another way to do this.” Max hated seeing her so scared. And he knew it wasn’t directed at him, but he still did not want to have anything to do with something that would cause her this much pain.

“She trusts you Max,” Alex assured him. “We talked about it, she’s ok, scared, but ok.” Max took a deep breath.

“Ok, here’s what we’re going to do. Alex, you sit on the bed with Isabel. I think it’s best if you start out holding her so that she feels as safe as possible going into it. Michael, you sit on the bed near Alex, hold her hand, do whatever she wants you to do. I’ll be kneeling by the bed so that I can touch her head and form the connection. I’ll give her a safe word. The feeling of words directed at me in a connection is different from words directed at other people in the connection. If she tells me to stop, I’ll pull out of it.” He glanced between Michael and Alex who were nodding their heads in agreement. “Any questions?”

Isabel nearly jumped out of her skin when they walked back into the room. She looked so small and fragile lying on the bed in the midst of tangled blankets. Max prayed that at least some progress would be made and he wouldn’t be putting her through more torture needlessly. He knelt by the side of the bed as Michael and Alex stood behind him.

“You still ok with this Iz?” Max asked tentatively. She nodded, biting her lip.

“Max, I’m scared.”

“I know you are Iz, and I promise I’m going to get you through this ok? You’re gonna be fine” He took her hand, squeezing it tightly.

“Trust me?”

“You know I do Max.”

“Ok.” He got up, allowing Michael and Alex to come forward.

“Alex?” she looked up at him trying so hard not to cry that it broke his heart.

“It’s ok sweetheart, I’m going to hold you the whole time, ok?” She nodded. He sat on the bed behind her, straddling her body with his legs, letting her lean against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. “Just hold on to me, I’m right here Relax.” She gripped his arms so tightly that he swore he felt the finger shaped bruises forming. Michael stretched out next to Isabel on the double bed and placed a hand over one of hers that was currently cutting off Alex’s circulation. Realizing what he was doing, she allowed her hand to be pried off of Alex’s arm, only to grip Michael’s hand twice as hard. He gripped her hand just as hard.

“Look at me,” he smiled reassuringly at her. “We’ve got you.” She nodded, attempting a smile. Her eyes were drawn immediately back to Max as he knelt by the bed in front of her.

“Hey Iz.” He cupped her unbruised cheek in his hand, pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She trembled slightly as his other hand brushed her forehead. “Relax for me ok? You can do this. I’m going to tell you everything that I’m doing. If you want to stop, just say stop and I’ll hear you.” She nodded, trying not to look as scared as she felt. This was Max, her brother. He would never hurt her. “Ok. We’ll start slow alright? I’m going to heal the bruise on your cheek. We’ve done this before, right?” She nodded, allowing him to turn her face so that he could see the ugly, blackened handprint. Max flinched as he placed his hand over the bruise, assessing the surface damage. “Ok, clear your mind and look at me.” Isabel tried to as he said, letting her mind go blank and staring into his eyes. She could do this. This was Max, he would never hurt her. That’s it, relax. Take deep breaths.” The first few breaths were shaky, but she managed to even them out. “That’s it, let me in Iz.” She felt the connection open. She braced herself mentally, expecting to feel the need to protect herself and shut down, but it never came. It was only Max.

He concentrated on keeping the connection shallow enough to heal the bruise and deep enough to send her calming emotions. He wasn’t going deep…yet. There was no reason to scare her more than she already was.

‘Whore.’ He felt the stinging slap and heard her neck pop as her head snapped to the side. Isabel stiffened in Alex’s arms. “It’s ok Iz, almost done.” He sent her calming vibes, distracting her from the overwhelming violation while simultaneously healing the damage to her face. He broke the connection.

“Max!” Isabel screamed, throwing herself into her brother’s arms. He caught her easily, knowing from the lingering traces of the connection exactly what she was feeling.

“You’re ok Iz, you’re ok,” he assured her, stroking her hair. He felt her crying against his shoulder and leaned back, cupping her unscarred face in his hands. You did it Iz.” She nodded.

“I almost asked you to stop Max…I, god he was right there and it was so real.”

“Shhh, but you didn’t Iz, you were so brave.”

“I don’t know if I can do it again. You didn’t even form a deep connection. If you have to go searching around in my head, it’ll be that much worse!” They had almost forgotten the other two people in the room.

“Remember, if you tell him to stop, he’ll stop,” Michael reminded her gently. Alex squeezed her from behind, reminding her of his presence. She had tears running down her face, but she nodded reluctantly.

“You ok?” Max searched her face.

“I guess so.”

“Ready to try again?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Ok, this time I want you to lean back against Alex and close your eyes.” Her eyes widened.

“It’s ok, I promise. You just need to relax, ok?” She swallowed thickly but leaned into Alex’s embrace.

“Shhh, sweetheart, trust us.” She closed her eyes, trusting them to take care of her.

“Good girl,” she heard Michael reassure her as he squeezed her hand.

“Breathe Iz,” Max reminded her. She gulped air as if she had forgotten how. “Relax, I won’t hurt you, I promise. I’m right there with you, all you have to do is tell me and I stop.” He placed his hands gently on her temples. “Ok?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Ok, now, you can open your eyes and look at me whenever you’re ready and that will start the connection.” He watched the muscles in her throat spasm as she tried to calm herself down. “You’re in control Iz, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.” Isabel felt the beginnings of the connection where he touched her temples. She knew that the second she opened her eyes, he would be in. She was so scared, she could barely think straight. Strong arms tightened around her and she heard Alex’s voice…

“I’ve got you Isabel, I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you. You can do this. Just open your eyes for us baby.”

One minute he was staring at her closed eyes, the next he seemed to be hurdling through time and space as the connection became stronger. He slowed it down enough to be able to concentrate as his mind’s eye searched the neural pathways in her head, looking for damage.

“Max I’m scared.”

“I know Iz, just hang on.” He tried to send her his calming emotions. Then he saw it. He knew instinctively that this was the problem. It was a giant grey patch in what should have been a sea of healthy white. Taking a deep mental breath, he approached it in his mind’s eye.

“We meet again my sweet whore.” She jumped, losing her balance and rolling backwards, hitting here head on the cold concrete floor. Feeling slightly disoriented, she opened her eyes. And screamed. “Now Vilandra, is that anyway to greet your lover?” He spoke to her as if she were five years old, and somehow, in his presence, she felt that way.
“Get away from me!”

“I’m fine Max.”

“You’re not fine, what’s going on?”

“Go away Michael.” He took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

"Stop it Isabel, you know I won’t do that.”
“I can’t…tell you that.”

“You’ll hate me.” GO AWAY MICHAEL! JUST LEAVE!”

“There you are, my sweet whore.” It got colder in the room, her breath was visible and her body barely protected by the thin nightgown. She shuddered. “Now, now, don’t be that way,” he scolded her. “Please…please, don’t hurt me, just leave me alone.”

“I don’t think I can do that Vilandra. You belong to me. You are mine

“No.”

“Oh yes, my dear. Maybe you need a reminder?” She felt her legs slide apart and she was unable to stop them. An invisible hand fondled her breast. She gasped, still not able to see anything. “That’s it darling, always so responsive.” She couldn’t move. She wanted to yell, scream, anything. No one would help her. His invisible hand slid down from her breast to her thigh. She knew he was controlling her body. That didn’t stop the feelings of pure shame and humiliation that assaulted her as she felt moisture flood between her legs at his phantom touch. She let out a single, solitary sob and closed her eyes, willing for it to be over. “So wet,” he taunted her. “Your body knows who I am, whore.”

“No, no, no, no!”

“But…but I was Zan’s weakness. Because of me... he and Michael were…killed!”

“Isabel? Where does it hurt?”

“Nowhere, it doesn’t...hurt...”

“Lie back sweetheart.”

“No Alex, please!”

“Shhh, do you trust me? I won’t hurt you. It’s ok.”

“I…I’m…dirty…I’m damaged. You…you deserve better. I…I wanted to…to give myself to you, I wanted it to be special, but it can’t be now, and it’s all my fault and I…I’m sorry!”

“He wasn’t gentle with you,”

He didn’t worship you…. He didn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved… He didn’t make love to you.”

“Don’t deny it. Even now, I can smell you, taste you. Your body is so responsive, so sweet.” Isabel curled in on herself. “Do you feel it? Do you feel your body responding to me? Starting to feel good, isn’t it lover? That’s it, don’t fight me love. Look how responsive you are. You can’t help yourself can you? No. You want this. You think that your sorry excuse for a man can satisfy you lover? He can’t. He will never give you what I can give you.”

“And when you are ready, I will be the first and only person to ever kiss you…touch you…make love to you.”

“Open your eyes Isabel, look at me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no…” she moaned. She was drenched in sweat, twisting and turning in his arms, still trying to escape.

“Isabel…sweetheart…”


“Isabel! Isabel!” She thrashed so violently that Alex was afraid of hurting her if he held her too tightly. They still hadn’t come out of the connection. Miraculously, Max’s hands stayed somehow connected to her head. When Alex had effectively immobilized her upper body, she started to kick. Not knowing what else to do, Michael straddled her legs so that she wouldn’t hurt them…or herself. The two of them managed to hold her down.

“She can’t hear us, they’re too deep in the connection.”

Despite the disturbing images assailing him, Max knew what he had to do. Using the right amount of power, he could close the connection, at least temporarily. He channeled more energy into the connection and was assaulted with more disturbing images.
“No!” Vilandra screamed as he slammed into her. Please, don’t, no, stop, oh god.”
“Whore.”
“No, please, I’ll do anything, please, just stop.”
“You’re mine. Traitorous bitch.”
“No!” He was ripping her apart. Tears streamed down her face, but he held her immobile.
“Your brother is dead, his second is dead. They can’t save you now. Whose fault is that? Hm? I’d say it’s yours, wouldn’t you? I mean, you’re here now, and they’re dead. And we’re fucking. That’s right, fucking, feels good, doesn’t it?” She couldn’t fight anymore and lay still beneath him, not bothering to hide the tears streaming down her face. “Whore.”


With a gasp, Max broke the connection. And Isabel’s blood curdling screams filled the room. He staggered backwards, watching Alex and Michael hold her down, knowing that they had to do it to keep her from hurting herself, or them, but still hating to watch her, knowing that she was on the edge of consciousness with that bastard raping her.

“What did you see Max? Michael yelled. Max shook his head.
“Michael, Alex, leave.” They looked up at him, shocked, but the authoritarian tone of his voice left no room for argument.

“Max, I can’t leave her!” Alex yelled above the noise.

“Alex, I swear, I’ll calm her down and I’ll fill you guys in. Trust me, the less people in here right now, the better. Go!” With no one holding her down, Isabel began to claw at herself, leaving raised, bloody scratch marks, still screaming incoherently.

“We’re right outside,” Max nodded, barely acknowledging them, all of his attention focused on his hysterical sister. He heard the door shut as he approached her. Her screams had not quieted, and the scratches marred her neck, upper chest, and arms. Grabbing the large quilt at the foot of her bed, he lifted her, wrapping his arms around her tightly, and placed her on it, strategically avoiding an unintentional right hook.

“Shhh, it’s ok Iz, calm down, shhhh.” He wrapped her tightly in the quilt, pinning her arms at her sides. He lifted her bundled in the quilt and laid her head on the pillow. In this position, she was practically immobile and wouldn’t be able to hurt herself, but no one would have to restrain her. She didn’t need to wake up to yet another man on top of her, holding her down. He stretched out on the bed next to her, not bothering to fight the tears in his eyes. “Shhhh, I’m sorry Isabel, god, I’m so sorry. It’s ok now. Shhh, it’s ok now. It’s over. I’ll never let him hurt you again.” He stroked her unblemished cheek, whispering to her. “You’re safe now Iz, I promise, wake up. Open your eyes Iz.” Her hysterical cries gradually died down and she stopped fighting. “Shhh, you’re safe.” Suddenly, her eyes flew open. Max nearly jumped back at the fear he saw in them.

“MAX!” she screamed. “HELP ME MAX!”

“Shhhh, I’m here Isabel. I’m here.” He stroked her arm through the layers of blanket. He could tell the exact moment that she actually recognized him. As recognition dawned on her, she sobbed with abandon, choking and gasping on half words.

“M-Max, I’m s-s-so s-sorry. Oh my, oh my god, oh my god. I…I d-didn’t r-remember that…oh my god, he-he…you saw what he did. I tr-tried so hard to f-fight him but he w-was t-too s-strong. I did, I fought him, y-you saw it, oh god, you saw it. H-he said you were d-dead. Y-you and M-Michael, I b-believed him and he-he hurt me.” Max took her, blankets and all into his arms and held her tightly, pressing her head against his chest and murmuring in what he hoped was a soothing voice.

“Shhhh, it’s ok Iz, you’re ok. I’m here, I won’t let him hurt you. He’s gone, he’s gone. No one can hurt you now. We’re all right here with you. Shhhh.” Isabel sobbed and shuddered in his arms for hours before she finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion. Max slowly extricated himself, not really wanting to leave her alone, but knowing that Michael and Alex were waiting for him. He made sure she was still securely wrapped in the blankets before leaving the room. Michael and Alex sat on opposite sides of the hall, staring at each other. As soon as Max appeared, they stood up, looking apprehensive. Max however, leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, holding his head in his hands.

“What happened Max?” Alex finally asked.

“I disabled the connection,” he said slowly, “but she’s traumatized. It uncovered some of…Vilandra’s memories that she didn’t even know she had. They were not good ones, probably worse than the dreams actually.” He shuddered. “I know I had to do it,” he said, “but it still feels like shit. And I don’t know if it’s permanent. I don’t think it is.”

“Could you make it permanent?” Alex asked tentatively.

“No.” He took a deep breath and looked straight at Alex.

“But you could.”
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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Post by Little One »

A/N: Here's the long awaited part. It's short but finals are almost over and then I'm going home for a month. I'll take my work home and hopefully have another part out since I'll finally have nothing to do. Enjoy!

Chapter 8

“Excuse me?” Alex’s brain was starting to approach overload.

“It’s…”

“What Max?”

“I need something to drink.”

“Max!” Michael bellowed, but immediately lowered his voice, mindful of Isabel in the next room. Max ignored them and proceeded to the kitchen. He filled a giant glass with water from the tap and downed all of it in less than thirty seconds before going for another. Michael and Alex watched silently from the doorway. After swallowing his fourth jug full of water, Max collapsed at the kitchen table, his head resting on his forearms. Michael pulled Alex around the corner. “Go sit with Isabel, she needs you, I’ll run damage control.” Alex nodded thinking that was the best idea he’d ever heard. He escaped the kitchen, heading like a bat out of hell towards Isabel’s room. Michael listened for the sound of the door closing before he reentered the kitchen. Max hadn’t moved. He jumped when Michael placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Maxwell?”

“Holy shit Michael.” The words were muffled so Michael barely heard him.

“Care to elaborate on that?”

“Holy FUCKING SHIT Michael. That BASTARD.” Michael winced, not used to hearing Max let loose. He looked up at Michael, his eyes obviously blood shot from crying, but the look was one of pure hatred. “Do you know what he DID to her?” Michael shook his head mutely, knowing he was going to hear it whether he wanted to or not. By now, Max was almost shouting. “He RAPED her Michael, he raped her, he raped Vilandra. Isabel has those memories too! And you know what he said when he raped her?” Michael shut his eyes, knowing for sure that he wasn’t going to like this. “She kept screaming for him to stop! But he didn’t. No, he kept taunting her with it. Told her it was her fault that Zan and Rath died. Told her she was a traitorous bitch, a whore, and he told her she liked it. And she just kept screaming…” Tears ran freely down Max’s face and he wiped them angrily with his shirt sleeve. “Son of a bitch.” He growled. “That rat bastard son of a bitch, if I wasn’t on a separate planet, I’d kill him. I’d string him up on a rack and slice his balls of with a dull razor blade. Slowly. How dare he TOUCH her?” Michael stood there dumbfounded, fighting back his own emotions. He had to be Max’s second now, in every sense of the word. But he was having a hard time, since the elaborate and extremely appealing picture of Khivar screaming in pain as they castrated him kept flashing in his brain. Angry didn’t even begin to describe it. After a long silence punctuated only by Max’s heavy breathing, Michael fought back his raging anger enough to speak.
“Geez Maxwell, you and I are not gonna be any good to Iz, like this.


“I know Michael, god, I know.”


"Max?

“Yeah.”

“What did you mean when you said that Alex could make the block permanent?”

“I…I…shit. Sit down Michael.” Obediently, Michael took a chair across the table from him. “What I saw…” he continued slowly, squeezing his eyes shut against the mental images. “No one should ever go through that. Ever.” Michael kept his mouth shut and waited for him to collect his thoughts. “I felt it…when he raped Vilandra, I felt everything from her point of view. God Michael. He…by having…sex with her…he was able to form the connection. She was so delirious from pain that she didn’t realize it. I felt the connection form. It’s a connection that can only be formed by having…intercourse. So…” Max trailed off, profoundly uncomfortable with elaborating on the subject, specifically when dealing with Isabel. In the end, he didn’t have to. Michael blinked once, twice, three times, and then, unable to keep still another second, began to pace the kitchen.

“So what you’re saying is that in order to stop the nightmares and get Khivar out of her brain, Alex and Isabel have to have sex.” Max winced.

“And form a connection in place of the one I’ve blocked.”

“I’m sensing a but…”

“But…since Isabel is the one with the…otherwordly origins, she has to be the one to allow the connection.”

“As if sex doesn’t make you vulnerable enough…”

“Exactly.”

“Shit."

“Uh huh.”

“How are we going to tell them?”

“I don’t know,” Max sighed. “I don’t know.”
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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A/N: Thanks for the awesome feedback. And BIG thanks to Biged for the AWESOME banner!


Chapter 9

Isabel had been asleep for four hours. Alex figured it was the longest she’d been asleep for any one period of time in the last month or so. He lay on the bed with her, brushing her hair back and murmuring nonsense to her. He was reluctant to wake her, but knew that she would need to eat soon. In all the time that he had been there, she hadn’t consumed anything substantial and she’d thrown up once. He was saved from having to wake her when her eyes fluttered open, immediately searching, but she looked more rested than she had in the past month.

“Alex?” her voice was hoarse with sleep, stress, and lack of moisture, but at least she hadn’t woken up in a panicky sweat.

“Hi sweetheart, how do you feel?” he asked softly, stroking her forehead.

“Like a steam roller hit me,” she rasped. Alex smiled, already seeing some of the trademark Isabel Evans that he knew was still there. He reached for the pint of cold Gatorade he had snuck down to grab from the kitchen.

“Let me help you sit up.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gently lifted her into a semi-sitting position. She leaned against him and took large gulps of the offered drink, her arms still pinned to her sides by the tightly wound blanket.

“Alex? Why am I wrapped up like a mummy?” Alex sighed.

“You were pretty out of it when Max pulled out of the connection. You were lashing out and you were going to hurt yourself, or us, and we didn’t want to scare you more by holding you down, so…”

“Oh.” She said, finally understanding.

“Hey,” he said, kissing her forehead. “It’s ok.” He stood up and began to unwrap the blanket. When Isabel saw the marks she had inflicted upon herself, she began to hyperventilate. Alex heard her breathing speed up and knew what she was thinking. “Shhh, breathe. Nothing happened. You didn’t have any more dreams right?” She shook her head. “You just have sharp fingernails, it’s ok.” She sagged back into the pillows in relief. “Let me get something to clean those up with.” Isabel watched him disappear down the hallway. She closed her eyes, amazed at how weak she felt. It was as if she had tried to carry a two ton boulder around on her chest for a month and it was suddenly gone. Every muscle in her body still ached and she felt weightless, woozy, and mentally exhausted. She shut her eyes against a sudden pounding in the front of her skull. Alex walked into the room carrying hydrogen peroxide and cotton balls. He set them on the nightstand and sat next to her on the bed.

“How’re you doing?”

“My head hurts.”

“Here, drink more Gatorade. You’re dehydrated and you need some food in you too.” He handed her the bottle and watched as she downed the second half of it and then went back to the bathroom to retrieve the bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol he had seen on the shelf. He handed her two caplets and a glass of water, which she took without complaint. She leaned her head back on the pillows and closed her eyes, exhausted from the minimal effort. Alex soaked a cotton ball with the disinfecting solution and dabbed it carefully on the worst scratches. Isabel flinched and Alex winced in sympathy. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“When’s the last time you ate an actual meal?”

“Uh…”

“Uh huh, I’ll make you some soup or something bland you can handle ok?” Isabel glared at him. He glared right back, outwardly unimpressed but inwardly doing a happy dance because Isabel was fighting with him. Didn’t mean he was going to let her win though. “No arguments, stop fighting me, you know you need to eat.” He fixed her with his own “don’t mess with me” glare and she relented, partially because she knew he was right, and partially because he was Alex. “You going to be alright up here by yourself for a few minutes? I’m gonna go down to the kitchen and see what you might be able to eat. I’ll send Max and Michael up, ok?” Max and Michael…Max and Michael. Isabel’s stomach did a flip and her heart suddenly lodged in her throat. Alex saw her go pale and sat next to her on the bed, automatically pulling her into his arms.

“What did…what did he see Alex? Oh god… he saw…he saw Vilandra. I know he did…oh god!” She was shaking, and trying so hard not to cry, not again. Not for the first time, Alex found himself visualizing the gruesome murder of a faceless evil alien. He also realized that he had no idea what she was talking about.

“Isabel, calm down baby. It’s alright. Remember what I told you? Max loves you Iz, you know it.” This was not the right time to bring up the fact that her brother had been so distraught with the images he had seen that he had curled up into the fetal position in the hallway and had almost refused to talk about it. Not to mention the cryptic statement about Alex being able to make the connection block permanent. “I’m going down to the kitchen. I’ll be right back, ok?” She nodded. Alex high tailed it down to the kitchen. He arrived just in time to see Michael give Max a brotherly pat on the shoulder. Max still looked like shit.

“How is she?” Max demanded.

“Awake, but no dreams. I came down to see if I could find her something to eat. She can’t remember the last time she actually ate.” Max winced. He should have noticed. How could he not notice? She was his sister for god’s sake. Michael interrupted his self deprecating train of thought.

“I think there’s some soup in the pantry.” He and Max shifted nervous glances from Alex to each other, but Alex didn’t seem to notice as he opened a can of chicken soup and heated it on the stove. Michael decided he was going to have to do something before the three of them imploded. “Alex, when you get a minute, we need to talk.”

“Let me take this up to Isabel.” They watched him operate on autopilot as he poured the soup into a bowl and found a tray to carry it on. When he had disappeared, Max sagged in his chair.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I know too much already. Not to mention that this will just traumatize her more.”

“I know man, but we don’t have a choice, do we?”

“I wish.” Alex chose that moment to reappear. Max and Michael stiffened, neither looking forward to the inevitable conversation.

“Alright, spill.” Alex always did know how to get to the point. Max looked like he was about to pass out, so Michael did what he had to do.

“Sit down Alex.” Alex sat, his knee beginning to bounce up and down with nervous energy. Michael took a cleansing breath.
“When Max made the connection with Isabel, he saw how Khivar was able to get into her mind.” He paused, waiting for confirmation from Max, who just nodded, his head resting in his hands, refusing to look at either of them.

“She has memories from Vilandra’s past,” Max choked out, interrupting Michael. “I saw them, I saw it.” Alex nodded apprehensively. He waited for a few seconds before realizing Max wasn’t going to elaborate.

“Saw what, Max?” Alex wasn’t sure that he wanted to know. Max leaned his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his palms, willing the queasy feeling to pass.

“I saw Khivar rape Vilandra…it actually happened. That’s when he was able to force the connection. Tears formed in Max’s eyes and he blinked furiously. He was silent a long time before he found the words to continue. “Khivar made the connection with Vilandra when he…raped…her,” he reiterated, taking a deep breath. “And it somehow carried over to Isabel. Vilandra was in so much pain…” he choked again, “that she didn’t know he was doing it.” Alex tensed, his face ashen, muscles taut. He thought of Vilandra. No matter how many mistakes she had made, she didn’t deserve that. No one deserved that.

“He raped her. And he taunted her with our deaths,” Michael explained with barely concealed rage.

“Oh god.”

“It all makes so much sense now,” Max said forlornly.

“What…what does this have to do with me?” Alex was sure he wouldn’t like the answer. Max gulped and turned away. Michael looked straight at Alex.

“The connection can only be formed by having intercourse. Max was able to block Khivar, but if something doesn’t replace it, there’s no reason he can’t go in and undo the block.” Alex sat with his face hidden in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

“Oh god.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t believe this.”

“Me neither.” Max spoke up.

“You’re…you’re ok with this Max?”

“Hell no, Alex, but I don’t really have a choice do I? I guess if it has to be anyone, I’m glad it’s you.”

“How the hell am I supposed to tell her this?” Alex shook his head helplessly. “Poor Isabel.”

“I don’t know,” Max admitted softly, “but we have to.”

“She’s going to hate me,” Alex whispered, looking at the floor.

“No she won’t Alex, she knows this is not your fault.”

“But now I’m part of the problem.”

“No, you’re part of the solution.”

“The shittiest solution ever! How can I do this to her? I told her I wouldn’t pressure her, I told her I’d wait until she was ready. She needs to wait until she is ready, otherwise it doesn’t mean a damn thing. I might as well be raping her myself!” Silence. They all knew that every word Alex spoke was the truth. “She may not even be physically capable of it! I saw her injuries, they need to heal, otherwise…otherwise it will be torture,” he trailed off, fighting back tears. Finally Max spoke up.

“God Alex, don’t you know that if there was another way, I’d tell you? I’m probably less comfortable with this than you are!” Alex sighed.

“I know Max. I just…”

“Don’t want to see her hurting like this, and you don’t want to be the one to hurt her more. I know.”

“Exactly.” The three men stared at one another until Alex finally stood up shakily. “I need to think, clear my head. I’ll be back in an hour. Tell Iz I’m not leaving her, ok?” Max and Michael nodded, understanding what he needed to do. He took his jacket off of the back of a chair and left, slamming the door behind him. Max and Michael stared at each other.

“I’m going to check on her,” Michael said warily.

“Ok, I’m going to…try to sleep I guess.” They trudged up the stairs. Max went into his room, slamming the door behind him and Michael proceeded to the end of the hall, taking a few needed breaths before knocking on Isabel’s door. No response.

“Isabel?” he peeked in. She sat on her bed, staring blankly at the wall. She didn’t acknowledge him. She was pale and trembling slightly and not blinking. The soup that Alex had brought up earlier sat untouched on the nightstand. “Isabel?” Michael said again. No answer. He approached the bed and reached out hesitantly to touch her, drawing back at the cold, clammy feel of her skin. “Oh my god.” She was probably in shock. He went to the closet, yanking out extra blankets and wrapping them around her shaking shoulders. He rubbed her arms, trying to warm her up as he spoke to her. “Isabel…Isabel…look at me, say something Iz, Iz, come on…” he pleaded with her.

“Mi…Michael,” she rasped out.

“What happened, Iz?”

“I…I remembered. It…it wasn’t a dream. I only tried to sleep and…I started to remember what he…what he did…to me…to Vilandra,” she corrected, “Why Michael? Why did he do that to me?” she cried plaintively. She looked at Michael as if he knew the answers to all of the questions in the universe, and at that particular moment he wished he did. She began to cry and he caught her gently as she pitched forward against his chest. She didn’t really want answers and he didn’t have any to give anyway, so he stayed quiet, stroking her back gently until she had calmed down. His stomach lurched when he thought of the similar reaction they would likely receive when they informed her of Max’s disturbing revelation. “Where’s Alex?” Shit.

“He went for a walk; he had to clear his head. He’ll be back,” he reassured her quickly.

“Oh god, this is too much. This is too much for him. Why would he want to stick around? I’m a nut job, he doesn’t need that. He deserves more than that. Oh god.”

“Isabel, listen to me for a second.” He waited until she finally looked up at him to continue. “Alex loves you Iz. Do you know how fast he got over here the second he found out there was something wrong? He insisted on being the one to take care of you, even though Max and I were right downstairs and practically refusing to leave you alone. He has been here non-stop for almost 24 hours. And he wouldn’t be anywhere else. His last words before walking out the door were “Tell her I’m not leaving her” because he knew what you would think. But he only needed some time to think. It’s a lot to absorb. You’ve been dealing with this for weeks now, and even though that’s definitely not easy, he just got hit with all of it in the last 24 hours. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be. He will be back in an hour Iz, you have to trust him.”

“I…I know,” she said softly. “I know, it’s just…” She trailed off, unable to complete her thought.

“It’s ok Iz, I know it’s hard.”

“Where’s Max?” she asked suddenly.

“In his room, sleeping. He was really worn out.”

“Oh.” He heard her start to sniffle.

“Do you want me to get him?”

“No, no…he needs to rest,” she bit out through impending tears.

“Isabel, if you need him, I’ll get him.” Her crying only increased as he spoke.

“He’s…he’s keeping something from me, I felt it, right before he pulled out of the connection. He knows something…and he doesn’t want to tell me,” she sobbed. Michael could barely breathe. He couldn’t deny what she was saying, but he had to calm her down somehow. “What is it Michael?” she implored him. He took a deep breath.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok Iz. Just calm down for a second, ok?” He rubbed her back as he spoke, trying to soothe her. “You were asleep and Max was exhausted, you know how much energy connections take. He didn’t want to wake you up and he needed some time to himself. When he gets up, I’m sure he'll talk to you. It'll be ok.” Isabel took a calming breath and tried to believe him.

“Do you know what it’s about?” Damnit.

“Yeah Iz, I do, but Max should be the one to tell you, and Alex should be here.”

“But they’re avoiding me.” Oh god, if she was thinking like that, the situation would be even more difficult to explain to her, he thought.

“They’re not avoiding you Iz,” he stated in a no-arguments tone. He pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly for added emphasis. “We’re not avoiding you. Alex should be back any time and Max will tell you what’s on his mind ok?” He eyed the cold bowl of soup and discretely lifted his hand over it to reheat it behind her back. “Now, you need to eat.” He mentally calculated the last time she had had anything substantial in her stomach and cringed. If he had to force feed her, he would do it. She shook her head.

“I’m not hungry.” He gently extricated her from his arms, propping her up on the pillows. He shook his head, smoothing her hair away from her forehead.

“I don’t care. You’re eating.”

“Michael.”

“Isabel.” He took the bowl from the nightstand and offered her a spoonful of the steaming soup. “Eat,” he commanded gently. Obediently, she opened her mouth, shooting him a disdainful glare in the process.

“I could feed myself you know.”

“Yeah, but this soup has been sitting here for an hour and you've been staring at the wall.” The indignant glare faded into a frown as she realized his point. He smiled, offering her a third spoonful. “Humor me.” Realizing that it this was Michael’s way of taking care of her (as much as she hated being taken care of) she knew that she wasn’t exactly in a position to refuse. She allowed herself to relax against the pillows and smiled tremulously at him.

“Thanks Michael.”

Max slammed the door and threw himself face down on his bed. Breathing heavily into the pillow, he tried to get his mind to stop racing, but couldn’t. Isabel’s hysterical, frightened face flashed in his mind every time he closed his eyes. How could he not have known? How could he not have understood it until now? Was he so blind? His sister had been raped and he didn’t have a clue.

Max knew he was being irrational. In the few psychology courses he had taken thus far, they had extensively covered sexual assault. Secondary survivors, or those closest to the survivor of an assault feel as if they should have protected the victim, or they feel guilty for not picking up on the fact that something was wrong in the first place. As her brother, he was feeling it big time. Rationally, he knew that he shouldn’t feel guilty. The only one who had anything to be guilty about was Khivar. On the other hand, no psych course that he knew of addressed the topic of ‘What to do if someone you know is telepathically assaulted by an invisible evil creature from another planet.’

Rationality can burn in hell; he thought bitterly as the first of many tears came to his eyes. In the privacy and darkness of his room, he let himself cry.

Alex walked down the Evans’s quaint residential street and tried to ignore a group of loud guys shooting hoops in their driveway. Despite the hot, dry New Mexico sun, he felt cold. He had never been so desperate in his life; or so scared. If he was this scared now, how the hell was he going to be strong enough when he had to tell Isabel? In the past 24 hours, he had seen her fear, her panic, her anxiety, and her trust in him; with the overwhelming emphasis on fear and panic. He was beginning to understand how she felt.

He was afraid; afraid of hurting her, of causing her more pain, of driving a rift so deep between them that nothing could bring them together again. He was terrified that some of that debilitating fear would shortly be directed at him. With a desperation that bordered on physical pain, he wanted her to trust him. He needed her to trust him. The trust that she given him by allowing him to see the wounds Khivar had inflicted had humbled him beyond belief. He desperately wanted to be worthy of that trust. Isabel would not blame him. But what would she do? He couldn’t stand it if she pushed him away. She needed him. He needed her just as much. God help him, he needed her. He needed her to know that he would never hurt her; that he would do everything in his power to help her and to protect her.

Panic slowly rose in his chest. Was this the only way? Max had said so, and Max being her brother, had a vested interest in not being informed of his sister’s sex life. Alex sighed, stuffing his hand in his pockets. Could he do it? That was the other pressing question. If she said no, that was it; they’d have to wait, or come up with an alternative solution, if it existed. But if she said yes…

She had been telepathically and physically violated. Would she say yes? Was probably the more realistic question. Assuming she did; which was a big assumption…could he do it? He meant what he said when he assured her that he would wait. He wanted their first time to be special. He wanted her to be with him willingly, because she loved him and trusted him, not because they were trying to reverse an alien curse. If they waited, the nightmares would inevitably return. And now she had the additional vivid memory of the physical rape of Vilandra. Alex shuddered. He swore to himself that he would never evoke those memories in her.

Ever.

It would be almost inevitable at first if they were going to be intimate at all; let alone so soon after the trauma. Alex fought the churning in his stomach at the thought.

By this time, he had reached the park. He sank down on the nearest bench, emotionally and physically exhausted. Thoughts whirled through his head.

I can't blame myself.

I can't erase the past.

But I can affect the future.

I can show her what it means to be loved.

He realized that neither Vilandra nor Isabel had ever had a positive physically intimate relationship. He was fairly certain that Isabel had never been intimate with anyone. Her memories of Khivar and Vilandra were painful and guilt ridden, and they weren’t even hers. He couldn’t change the past, but he wanted to give her new, real, positive memories.

No use in being delusional.

It's not going to be easy.

It's her decision.

But whatever she decides, I'll be there.

And if she decides to be with me, I'll show her what it means to be with someone who loves her.


A slightly calmer Alex Wittman turned and headed back towards the Evans's house, reflecting somewhat cynically on the advantages and disadvantages of being a card carrying member of the “I Know An Alien” Club.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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Little One
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A?N: Thanks to my loyal readers for the continued patience and encouragement. This story just isn't getting any less angsty...sorry :wink:

Chapter 10

He was greeted at the door by a pale Max and an agitated Michael.

“I know you said you’d be back dude, but geez, you have no idea what I had to do to convince her not to freak out.” Alex glanced toward the stairs, looking slightly guilty. Michael shook his head. “It’s not your fault,” he conceded, “I’m just…she has no idea what’s going on. And she knows that Max here,” he gestured behind him to Max who was currently pacing a hole in the floor, “is keeping something from her.” Alex winced.

“Oh shit.”

“I’m not surprised,” Max said. “The connection works both ways and she’s just as good, if not better than I am at forming them when she wants to.” Alex sighed.

“Is she awake?”

“Yeah, I told her we’d talk to her when you got back…how are you doing man?”

“I’m ok,” Alex said slowly. “I thought about it, and really, it’s up to her. It’s not going to be an easy thing to decide. The least I can do is be there for her. And if she decides that she wants to do this, I’m glad it’s me and not…someone else,” he shuddered. Max nodded in understanding. Alex looked from Max to Michael, planning his next words carefully. “I know this is not exactly what anyone wanted,” he started, “but whatever she decides is ok with me, and I’ll be there, no matter what.” He stopped to gauge their reactions. “I’ll take care of her,” he said solemnly, “I swear to you, she’s safe with me.” Max and Michael nodded. Max had to admit that knowing that he and Alex were on the same page was comforting to him. And as he had admitted to Alex before, if it had to be anyone, Max was glad it was him.

Michael watched Alex carefully as he poured his heart out to them. The knot in his chest had relaxed somewhat when Alex had spoken his vow. It wasn’t that he doubted that in the first place, but it was reassuring to hear the words spoken out loud.
“We trust you Alex.” Max nodded.

“Isabel trusts you too.”

“I know, she never ceases to amaze me.”

“What? You don’t think she should trust you?” Michael asked incredulously.

“No…it’s not that. Her trust is so important to me, I’d protect her with my life, you know that.” He fixed Michael with a confident stare. Michael nodded, relenting. “I guess…I guess I feel responsible, you know, for making it ok for her.” He looked at the ground, some of the confidence he had talked himself into earlier ebbing away in the face of reality.

“She loves you man,” Max said confidently. “You love her. The simple fact that you’re willing to do this is amazing.”

“You’d do it for Liz,” Alex countered.

“And I’d do it for Maria,” Michael added without a second thought. “But we are a few lucky bastards Alex, I mean hell, they love us despite the fact that we were born on separate planets and have different DNA structures. Not to mention that being with us makes abduction by the U.S. government a distinct possibility. Our relationship baggage blows all other relationships out of the water. But they don’t care. And neither do you.” Alex nodded.

“She’s Isabel.”

“I don’t know,” Michael continued, “but I’m guessing that any other guy would have bolted upon hearing the words “I am an alien and I was raped by an evil version of E.T.” Alex shuddered, but he had to concede the point.

“So what are you saying?” Alex finally asked, trying to incorporate this into his spinning mind.

“I’m saying that yeah, you feel responsible, I get that. I would too. But she’s going to be just as unsure about it as you are. So you’re just gonna have to let it happen.”

“I guess.”

“You’re you. That’s all she cares about.”

“We still have to actually tell her,” he reminded them bitterly. “I’m not even sure she’ll want me within 100 feet of her when she hears this.”

“She won’t blame you.”

“No, I know that, but she probably won’t want to look at me either.”

“We won’t know that until we do it,” Max said slowly. “Which brings me to a very important point, how are we going to do this?”

“You should start,” Michael said, “you’re the one who figured it out in the first place.”

“Yeah.” He flinched.

“I don’t think this is something we can plan,” Alex pointed out. “We just have to tell her as gently as possible and deal with her reaction, whatever it may be.”

“He’s right,” Michael conceded. “We just have to do it.”

“Come on,” Alex said, his hands shaking. “Before I lose it completely.”



Isabel lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. She was trying hard not to think, but with every passing tick of the clock on her wall, it became more and more difficult to banish thoughts from her head. It was too quiet. What if they were gone? No…they promised they wouldn’t leave, and they wouldn’t. She thought she heard Alex’s voice. But she wasn’t sure if she was just wishing he was there or if he actually was there. Already, she missed his arms. She had never felt so safe and protected in her life. It was a feeling that was hard to get used to but even harder to give up. Part of her panicked with the fleeting thought that she would never feel that way again. She managed to repress the thought long enough to distinguish the unmistakable rumble of Alex’s voice as he came up the stairs. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, but simply the sound of his voice was enough to soothe her. She closed her eyes and relaxed, letting her body go limp. She didn’t open her eyes as she heard the door open, intent on fighting off reality for a few more seconds. He approached the bed and she jumped slightly as his hand brushed her forehead.

“Isabel? Are you awake sweetheart?” His voice sounded hoarser than usual. She opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

“Alex.”

“Hey.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “Did you eat your soup?”

“Yeah, Michael made me,” she looked down at her hands that were now clenching and unclenching in the blankets.

“Oh baby,” he kissed her forehead. “You have to eat,” he said solemnly, taking her face between his hands.

“I know, I guess I don’t have much of an appetite.” His eyes searched hers, blatantly looking for something. She blinked, beginning to tear up. “Alex,” she choked, “what’s going on? What’s wrong with me? I just want it to go away.” He brought her in to his chest, holding her tightly as her tears leaked out on to his shirt.

“I know baby. Max, Michael and I have something that we need to talk to you about. But I want you to remember something for me.” He pulled away so that he could take her chin and gently tilt her face to look at him. “No matter what happens, I’m here for you. I love you, no matter what.”

“Alex?” She began to shake. Inwardly she cursed herself for having such an exaggerated reaction to such a simple statement, but with emotions running high and terrifying thoughts so close to the surface, she could barely control herself. With practiced ease, he pulled her into his arms. She went willingly, taking deep, shuddering breaths. “Alex? Am I…am I ok? Am I going to…die? What if he never goes away? I…” Alex was beginning to feel sick. He had to calm her down. If she was getting this worked up over his simple declaration, she would be hysterical when he actually explained the situation. He held her tightly, rubbing her back, feeling her shuddering go through his entire frame.

“Shhhh. Isabel. I need you to calm down sweetheart. Everything is ok. I told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. I promise. You’re going to be fine. I just need you to know that whatever happens from here on out, I’m still with you.” She nodded, breathing raggedly against his shoulder. “Max will help me explain it to you ok?” Nodding, she pulled back from him, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Alex reached for the box of tissues on the nightstand and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. “I love you Iz, so much.”

“Alex, you’re scaring me…”

“I know, let us explain everything, ok? Nodding, Isabel turned her eyes to Max and Michael whom she had just noticed were watching the interaction between the two of them with interest.

“Max?” Every male in the room took a collective apprehensive breath as Max stepped forward, kneeling in front of Isabel, slightly to Alex’s right from where he sat on the bed. Max watched his sister closely, seeing the apprehensive, terrified look in her eyes and wondering if what he were about to tell her would help her or hurt her. Not that he had a choice. He took another much needed breath. “What did you see, Max?”

“I saw…I saw how Khivar made a connection with Vilandra.” Isabel shut her eyes, trying to banish the now fresh memory from her mind.

“H-how?” Isabel tried to get her tongue to work but her mouth had suddenly gone dry and her stomach dropped.

“It happened when…when she was…raped.” Isabel turned away from Max’s steady gaze, but Max took her hand, refusing to let her shut him out completely.

“So…so what does that mean?” Her voice was barely audible. Alex could hear the hitch that told him she was trying not to cry. Max took a deep breath.

“It’s a connection that can only be formed by having intercourse.” Her body began to tremble slightly. Max continued, hoping to get all of the information out before she was incapable of listening. “I blocked the one that Khivar formed, but if you don’t replace it, there is no telling if or when he might just do it again. And then your nightmares would start again.” Isabel slowly raised her head to look at him.

“Max?” Her wide, terrified eyes looked straight at him and Max wanted nothing more than to take back the last two minutes, but he couldn’t.

“Iz…”

“Michael?” She was on the verge of panicking.

“Shh, you’re ok, just listen to us Iz…”

“There’s more?”

“Khivar took advantage of Vilandra’s mental state when he formed the connection. If you were to do it, it would have to be voluntary. That’s the way it should have been in the first place,” Max forged ahead.

“I…I would have to do it? What?”

“You would have to form the connection with your partner.” Michael explained concisely. Alex shut his eyes, not wanting to see the look on her face as she absorbed this information.

“But…but I can’t…oh god…oh god, I can’t, what? Oh god.”
“Isabel, breathe,” Max commanded gently. She obediently sucked in a lung full of air, but for some reason this just made the renewed shaking in her limbs worse.

“You’re saying…you’re saying I have to have sex?” Their ensuing silence was the only confirmation she needed. “Oh god.” She no longer cared whether or not she cried. Tears streamed freely down her face as she glanced at Alex for the first time since they had begun the difficult explanation.
“Alex? Oh god...Alex.”

“I’m right here,” he assured her as he took her hand in his and ran his thumb soothingly over her knuckles. She closed her eyes and looked away from him, shaking her head. For a moment, Alex’s heart seized in his chest.

“You can’t be, you can’t be…please…” she shuddered, pulling her hand from Alex’s grasp. “I…I need to be alone right now.” Alex, Michael, and Max shared an apprehensive glance as Isabel seemed to pull farther and farther into herself right in front of their eyes.

“Isabel…”


“GET OUT!” she screamed, scaring them as they saw the blazing emotion on her face. But below the angry exterior, Alex could see how terrified she was. The least he could do was give her space.

“Ok…ok Iz, but we’re not leaving the house. We are right here if you need anything,” he reassured her over her sobbing.

“Alex…” Max started, not sure what brilliant idea was in his head, but not liking this one bit.

“It’s ok Max. Why don’t you guys go on ahead, I’ll be out in a minute.” Michael and Max glanced at each other skeptically. They squeezed Isabel’s hands reassuringly before leaving the room. Making sure they were alone and the door was shut, Alex grasped Isabel’s face gently in his hands, thwarting her efforts to turn away.

“Please go, Alex,” Isabel sobbed. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to look at him.

“I’m right here sweetheart.” That only made her try to wrench her head away and cry harder, but that didn't stop him. Silently, he kissed her once more on the temple, running his fingers through her hair in a soothing motion. He rose from the bed and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

He didn’t even notice Max and Michael standing stiffly near the door as he hurried down the stairs towards the living room. He collapsed on the couch and buried his face in his hands, willing himself not to let it get to him. He knew she wasn’t reacting to him, but to the situation. It still hurt like hell to think of her up there all alone, trying to be brave; pushing him away because she was overwhelmed, afraid, whatever. It didn’t matter. The stress and confusion of the past day and a half finally peaked. His shoulders shook with repressed sobs. Vaguely, he was aware of Max and Michael joining him in the room, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Oh god,” he sobbed. The other two were silent, there was nothing they could say.


It used to be that when she closed her eyes, all she could see was Khivar’s evil, self-satisfied smirk in her mind. Now, that picture was replaced by Alex’s soft expression when he told her that he would be there for her no matter what; his sad, yet sympathetic eyes when she told him to leave; his words- “I’m right here sweetheart.” Over and over again. And it didn’t take her long to decide that this was much, much worse. Defeated, she rolled over onto her stomach, ignoring the lingering discomfort as she did so. She grasped frantically at the pillow that still smelled like him and inhaled, letting the tears fall for the billionth time. She shouldn’t have pushed him away; now he would probably figure she didn’t want him there anymore and leave. ‘I can’t do this without him.’ She cringed cynically at the double meaning of that statement. It wasn’t his fault. He said he would be there and she should believe him. Right?

I love him.

He would never hurt me.

I love him.

I want to be with him.

All things she knew to be true, but that didn’t stop her stomach from turning when she thought of the sudden imminence of losing her virginity. Alex told her he would wait. She saw the look in his eyes. She knew that he didn’t want to push her in to anything she wasn’t ready for. It was impossible; the very idea of what they were suggesting made her cringe in terrorized anticipation.

This is not how it is supposed to be.

She cursed her alien heritage. ‘Because Vilandra was a traitor who couldn’t keep her pants on a billion light years away, I’m the one who has to suffer the consequences.’ Damn her. Isabel curled into a ball and sobbed herself into a fitful sleep.


TBC
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
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