The First Cut (CC,A/I,CHILD,1/1) {COMPLETE}

[CandyGurl2088]

The First Cut

Author: CandyGurl2088 (Milena)

Disclaimer: *gets high* sure, I own Michael.Yup, he's even chained to my bed.Tsk, I wish!

Category: Alex/Isabel

Rating CHILD

Setting: it's around......after Grants dies.

Summary: Alex tells you (in a way) how he feels towards Isabel.

A/N: In this story, I used Alex and Isabel's relationship and events of the show. In certain bits of this story,it reflects my own personal feelings towards this guy, my first love who I still love (been a years and I'm still not over him.) I kinda explain to you his and my story blended together lol. My bests friends probably know who I'm talking about behind Alex's portrait of Isabel. This is the story of a person, dealing with a break-up with his first love.

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What 'm going to tell you has to stay between us. Only between you and me okay?. Well between Maria,Liz, you and I. I trust you enoug to tell you this. I just hope you won't betray me. Sure, it won't seem like big secret but to you, it is to me.

I'm Alex Whittman and I'm in love. Of course, that's not any news to you. Everybody says it's obvious but I'm admitting it now. I'm head over heels for a certain beautiful tall woman with blonde hair, named Isabel Evans.

Isabel Evans is every guy's fantasy. She's has the beauty and the brains too. She's...well she's amazing. I know she doesn't feel the same about me. Or I thought she didn't. I'm still not sure. She was with me for a while and then broke up because of that damn Destiny. Sometimes I feel like I'm her toy or something like that.Like a 'pocket pet', like my best friend says. If she tells me to do something , I'll do it in a heartbeat. She can do whatever she wants to do with me. I would even die for her it I had to, to save her life.

I don't think she realizes how much she's hurting me right now. It feels like suddently, I'm nothing to her anymore. She acts like I'm not important. She only wants to be friends.Sometimes I feel like saying to her: Should I smile because we're friends or should I cry, because that's what we might ever be?

Sometimes I lose faith in us. I feel like I'll never be with her again. She already moved on it seems. She's with Grant. Oh no I'm sorry, she WAS with him. He's out of the picture because...well let's just say he was ''possesed'' by the evil, in a way.

Sometimes, I don't really know how I feel. Sometimes I feel empty, sometimes I feel a sudden rush of mixed-up emotions. Of course, it all revolves about one thing, my love for her. It's hard to explain how I feel about her. Words can't describe it.

But last night I was listening to this song of Sheryl Crow on the radio and it reminded me of how I feel right now towards Isabel. In this song, I feel as if I'm talking to this girl who loves me but I can't love her because Isabel was my first love. Well actually, I would have to be a girl and Isabel a guy because of the 'he' in the song. Oh my God I'm all messed up in my head because of this. Anyways, just read ,dear friend, you'll understand.

"The First Cut Is The Deepest" by Sheryl Crow

i would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and he's taken just all that i have
but if you want i'll try to love again
baby, i'll try to love again, but i know...

the first cut is the deepest
baby i know
the first cut is the deepest
but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me, he's worse...

i still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that i've cried
and i'm sure gonna give you a try
if you want i'll try to love again, (try)
baby, i'll try to love again, but i know...

OOHHH,
the first cut is the deepest
baby i know
the first cut is the deepest
but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
but when it comes to lovin' me, he's worse...

i still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that i've cried
but i'm sure gonna give you a try
cuz if you want i'll try to love again
(try to love again, try to love again)
baby, i'll try to love again but i know, OOHHH....

the first cut is the deepest
baby i know
the first cut is the deepest
when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me, he's worse

OOHHH, the first cut is the deepest
baby i know (baby i know)
the first cut is the deepest
try to love again...


Now you know what I mean??? Of course, not all the song relates to my situation. I find it funny because it reminds me of Michael and Maria's realtionship too. One part in particular where she sings: '' when it comes to lovin' me, he's worse.'' So true. Michael has a funny way to love Ria.

Maybe it's a Czech thing. Maybe they're all like this. Maybe one day, Liz, Maria and I will finally move without them, but I don't think it will happen soon. Only God knows what will happen but one thing is for sure, I'm in love.


THE END