Part 11
During the waking hours, I still feel a tingling down my spine when I think about the dream with Isabel and Alex. Images of Rachel’s body penetrate my mind while doing the simplest of tasks: ironing, brushing Hope’s hair, watching t. v. with Max. There were times I swear I see Rachel’s body lying in my parents’ living room or Rachel’s dead eyes staring back at me when I glance at my mother. Max and I decided not to tell our parents about the latest dream but after I saw Rachel’s face in the reflection of my bathroom mirror, we agreed that we couldn’t keep the dream from our friends any longer.
“Have all the dreams been so…intense,” Maria asked, and Liz marveled at the level of maturity exhibited from her oldest friend. Maria had changed so much from the girl who ran away screaming after Liz told her the truth about Max, Michael and Isabel.
“We, Alex, Isabel and I have always interacted in the dreams but this was different. It was like they were showing me what had happened with Rachel.”
“Who do they want you to protect,” Michael questioned. “We can’t be in any more danger. We’ve been okay so far, after the Special Unit stopped chasing us.”
“That’s because Langley killed all of them,” Sarina offered, her voice low and controlled but Liz could sense the emotions stirring underneath her skin. “I saw the pictures. No one deserves to die like that, no matter what kind of person you are.”
“Maybe Rachel did,” Max replied quietly, his eyes instantly seeking out Liz.
“You can’t mean that, Max.”
There was some truth to Max’s words, no matter how much I wanted to imitate with the shock Sarina felt. Langley’s job was and is to protect. Langley did his job and used whatever means necessary. Maybe Rachel was a danger to our safety and Langley did what his was genetically programmed to do – protect. There was a time I knew Langley would protect me. With Rachel’s death, I have to wonder who Langley was trying to protect more – us or himself.
“Nothing is going to be solved tonight, kids,” Kyle said and with a slap of his palms to his thighs, he rose from his chair. “Langley’s not here and we can’t ask him so it does us little good to debate the good, bad and ugly of this decision, any of his decisions. I for one would like to go see a movie.” He extended his arm to Sarina, guiding her pregnant form carefully from her seat.
“What movie,” Liz inquired even though she really wanted to ask Kyle if Buddha had given him the perspective of calm. He looked so calm on the outside but Liz wasn’t sure if his exterior mannerisms were a front or the way Kyle really felt. She wished she felt half as secure and relaxed as Kyle appeared.
“Leave the munchkins with the grandparents and come with us.”
“Oh no,” Liz replied with a laugh, she and Max standing up from their respective chairs as Michael and Maria did the same. “I’m not sure I want to take any more of your advice this trip, Kyle.”
“We’ll go to the Rialto to see Miles To Go. It’s a great movie, Liz. Maria sang two songs for the soundtrack and she composed the score.”
“I helped compose the score, Kyle,” Maria corrected as her hands automatically applied pressure to her lower back. “Helping and composing are two very different things. Besides, what little part I helped with is just a fraction of the finished project so my contribution is quite insignificant.”
“You helped compose a score,” Liz questioned, seeing that Maria had not only gained maturity during their time away from each other. “Maria, that’s wonderful.”
“Come on,” Michael admonished. “The kids are in great hands. Let’s go out and enjoy some adult time together without worrying about anything other than enjoying ourselves.”
* * *
The Rialto was relatively empty when the six of us arrived. Kyle surprised me by buying Max and I tickets to the show. We selected a row in the middle of the theater, Max and I sitting in the middle of the row, Michael to Max’s left and Maria to my right. The theater dimmed and a star-filled night came alive on the screen. My breath hitched as a brunette emerged on camera, a girl that looked so similar to me we could have been related.
I watched with bated breath as my high school life played out in front of me on the movie screen. I recognized Maria’s alto voice at several key moments during the movie: the moment David revealed himself as an alien to Beth, the first time David, Beth and their friends faced the FBI Special Unit, the final kiss sealing their teenage marriage before David and Beth left Roswell forever. Tears blurred my vision as the star-filled night on screen faded to black.
All of the players were there, the only difference were their names. Some of the situations were the same but thankfully Langley didn’t include the shooting as the catalyst for David’s confession to Beth; instead, David saved Beth during a robbery, his alien abilities used to protect the girl he had loved from afar since the third grade. It was a love story but not just any love story. It was the story about a human girl and the alien boy that loved her. It was my love story. It was my life.
“Liz? Are you okay?” Maria placed her arm over Liz’s shoulders while the five of them waited for Liz to stand from her chair. Liz’s hands covered her face, her shoulders trembling slightly.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me,” Liz whispered as she removed her hands from her face, her cheeks marred with tear stains. “Why didn’t someone say it was about…me?”
“Liz -”
“That’s my life on screen,” Liz continued in a hushed yet excited whisper, the theater empty save for the six of them. “All of our lives. This…this seems like something so much more dangerous than Rachel and what she might have sold to the tabloids.”
“It’s a story, Liz,” Kyle replied from the other side of Michael. “It’s similar but it’s just a story. Everyone in town knows it’s just a movie.”
“It’s a tribute,” an unknown male voice said from the back of the theater. The six friends turned around to face the man who had eavesdropped on their conversation and Liz inhaled sharply at having been so careless in such a public place. The man stuffed a cigar into the corner of his mouth as he stepped down the aisle toward them, his hands relaxing in the pockets of his dark blue pants. “It’s a tribute to you, Liz.”
Max stepped in front of Liz, shielding her but not before Liz got a glimpse of the man’s crystal blue eyes partially hidden behind brown sunglasses. She placed her hand on Max’s arm and cautiously pushed him out of the way to get another look at the man. Her mouth opened slightly as she recognized the shapeshifter behind the guise of the unidentified man. “Cal? Is that…is that you?”
“In the flesh,” Langley replied and with a knowing smirk, the middle-aged man melted into Cal Langley before their eyes.
Miles To Go (Sequel to Linger) ~(CC, ADULT)~ {COMPLETE}
Moderators: Anniepoo98, Rowedog, ISLANDGIRL5, Itzstacie, truelovepooh, FSU/MSW-94, Forum Moderators
Conclusion -- Part 12
Author's Note: Well, it's been a great ride and while I wish I could keep writing this forever, I simply can't. Linger was a thrill and is a fic I still consider one of my best works. I thank all of you for sticking with me through my delays and hope that you enjoy the end.
JO
--------------------------------
Part 12
“I can’t,” Liz began as she stepped toward Langley and away from her friends and Max. “I can’t believe you’re here, in Roswell. And that you made a movie about….about my life.”
“It wasn’t hard,” Langley replied, the smirk still plastered on his face and for a second, Liz thought she saw something in those blue eyes that reminded her of the man who had been with her in Knoxville, Tennessee, the man that had placed his arm around she and Alex as Isabel died. “You were made to be in pictures, Liz, and if I can’t get you, I can at least tell your story or some portions of it.”
“Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing to do,” Max countered from behind them and Liz felt her entire skin sizzle with anger. “Especially if you claim you’re still trying to protect us.”
“Listen, Maxie boy, I don’t owe you a damn thing.” Langley thrust his arm forward past Liz, his finger pointing directly at Max. “Whatever protection I offer now isn’t for you or the general over there. It’s for Liz and her children.”
“Her children are my children.”
Langley shrugged his shoulders as if Max’s argument meant nothing to him. “Like I give a shit what you say. Liz and her safety is what’s important to me. You gotta let that king complex go. You’re not a king anymore.”
“I’m still the leader, Cal, whether you like it or not,” Max continued, stepping closer to where Liz and Langley stood. Liz felt Langley push against her from behind and she had no choice but to move forward toward Max.
“Some leader,” Langley retorted once Liz was firmly sandwiched between the two men.
“Can you lay off the showing of testosterone around Liz, please,” Maria growled when it became obvious neither Langley nor Max was willing to move. “Geez, you’d think you two weren’t on the same side or anything.” She knowingly arched her eyebrow when both Max and Langley turned toward her then she deposited herself back into one of the seats while the two men returned to opposite sides of the aisle.
“Maria is right,” Sarina countered, her eyes focused entirely on Langley. “We need to know the truth about what happened to Rachel. We need to know if you killed her.”
“I don’t think that’s important,” Langley replied with a shrug. “She’s dead. What does it matter now?”
“It matters,” Sarina growled, Kyle’s hand firmly on her shoulder to keep her from lunging at Langley. “All life matters, and whether Rachel was a bad person or not is not your job to determine.” Sarina wiped at her eyes, turning into Kyle’s open arms.
“Tell us what happened to Rachel,” Liz said as she stepped toward Max, her voice low. “We have a right to know what you know.” Pressing herself against Max’s chest, she exhaled when she felt Max’s hands at her waist, an instant calm flooding her soul.
Langley sighed and rolled his eyes. “Jesse brought Rachel to Roswell. I had been following them for a few months in Boston.”
“Why,” Liz questioned.
“I don’t know, to check up on them maybe. They left Boston so I followed them to Roswell. You have to understand that Rachel wanted to expose you, exploit you. I…I did what was necessary to protect all of you.”
“So you killed her,” Max asked. Langley’s only response was a nod of his head.
“Are you sure you weren’t protecting yourself,” Sarina snapped, her cheeks flush with anger.
“Sarina,” Kyle whispered but Sarina rebuffed his attempts at comfort. Liz turned away from them, Sarina’s display making her uncomfortable. She knew that some part of her wanted to agree with Sarina; after all, she had used almost the same argument with Langley as Max had with Tess when they discovered she had killed Alex. The only difference was that Tess claimed she had not meant to kill Alex, and Langley most certainly had meant to kill Rachel.
“And what about Jesse,” Liz continued after allowing herself a moment to collect her emotions. “Isabel said he was in a mental institution in Boston.”
“Jesse will never be the same again, Liz,” Langley admitted with an air of sadness. “His life with Rachel destroyed his mind. She haunts him.”
“That’s what Isabel said…”
“Whatever he knows is buried so deep, no one could penetrate all the walls he’s put up. If he knows you, he’d never show it, and he certainly won’t know or remember he has a son.”
“How do you know that,” Sarina questioned. “Did you try to kill Jesse too?”
“Jesse is a broken man, kid,” Langley responded as he stuffed a cigar into his mouth, fishing through his pants pockets for a lighter. “You may not believe me and you may not like my motives, but you’re still alive. Remember that, ‘cause I had plenty of chances to kill you.”
“Please don’t threaten her,” Liz quickly countered. “Sarina has every right to be upset.”
“Of course she does. I’m just stating facts. You asked me what I knew and I told you. Rachel was a threat to your safety and I eliminated her. Jesse was an unexpected casualty. I’m really sorry he got hurt.” He paused to glance at Liz then straightened after several seconds. “Well, I’ve gotta get out of here. Good to see you, Liz, as always. Take care of yourself.” He gave Max a mock salute and spun on his heels toward the exit.
“Wait,” Liz called, running a few steps after him. “Wait, there’s something else.”
“What?”
“I’ve been having dreams again, and I know, I know you said that the dreams are sometimes a product of alien pregnancies but these dreams are different.”
“What do you mean?”
“I had a dream about Alex and Isabel. They were mad at me for something, a promise I hadn’t kept. But the last dream I had was about Rachel’s death. Alex and Isabel showed me Rachel…her body.”
Langley crossed one arm over his chest and clasped his chin with his free hand, his eyes downcast. He stepped toward Liz, his eyes never leaving the Rialto’s burgundy aisle carpet. “I don’t know what that means,” he whispered, turning his attention completely on Liz.
“What?”
“I mean, I can’t explain why you’re having these dreams, Liz. I can’t tell you what they mean or what they’re supposed to mean.”
“But you’re the only one…”
“You’re a conduit, Liz. That hasn’t changed. You’re the keeper of your history, so to speak. You’re the one that’s going to tell your children the truth about your life. You’re the one that will influence them and train them and raise them.” Langley paused and placed his hands on Liz’s shoulders. He gave her a small smile, but it did little to comfort Liz.
“Am I cursed? I…I can’t live like this. I…I can’t function normally.”
“Maybe you’re holding on too tight. Maybe it’s you that won’t let Isabel and Alex go. What if they just want peace and you’re keeping them alive inside you?”
“But they are alive inside me.”
“As long as you remember them, they’ll never die. But you gotta let ‘em go. You have to allow yourself to live and look to the future, not the past or your dreams. Live, Liz. Be happy and live.”
I remember falling to the floor as Cal’s words registered in my brain, Max’s face was the first thing that came into focus once my brain stopped swimming. I don’t know where Cal is now; I don’t remember when or how he disappeared from the Rialto. I only know that after he told me to live, something within my soul stirred and I felt free. Maybe I had been holding on too tightly to the past, too guilt-stricken by my involvement or lack thereof to realize that as long as I remembered Alex and Isabel, my children would too.
* * *
May 6, 2007
We met at the cemetery, a small congregation of mourners. It was a beautiful day when we placed Isabel’s ashes in the ground beside Alex’s remains, just like it was a beautiful day when we buried Alex five years ago. I held Hope tightly in my arms as Maria sang “Amazing Grace,” Max beside me with a sleeping Charlie in his arms. Diane and Philip had requested that Alex stand with them. He was in plain view but I hated having him so far away from me. He had been in my arms the first time we said good-bye to Isabel and now that we were saying good-bye again, I felt like he was a world away.
Kyle gave a brief speech, one that made us laugh a little and cry a little. Then he, Max, and Michael broke ground with shovels and deposited Isabel’s remains into the ground. I thought I would break down again, that I wouldn’t be able to hold both my weight and Hope’s but somehow, I didn’t collapse. My knees stayed strong and my heart didn’t crumble as I feared it would. I felt a strange peace as I watched Kyle, Max and Michael cover the small hole and Diane, Philip and Alex place a flower arrangement on top of it.
I smiled through the tears pooling in my eyes as I watched everyone I love say their final good-byes to Isabel because I felt Alex and Isabel on either side of me, Alex’s arm around my shoulders, Isabel’s looped through one of my arms, and I knew they were at peace. They weren’t angry with me anymore; they had nothing else to show me, and as we left the cemetery, I told Max I wanted to come back to Roswell permanently.
It has taken me miles and miles to realize that underneath it all I am still Liz Parker, small town girl, and that I can be happy in Roswell with memories both good and bad. These memories helped shape and define who I am now, and although I sometimes wish I could go back in time and change certain things, I wouldn’t trade the woman I am now for any of those experiences. I can be happy in Roswell, happy and alive.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I too the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
JO
--------------------------------
Part 12
“I can’t,” Liz began as she stepped toward Langley and away from her friends and Max. “I can’t believe you’re here, in Roswell. And that you made a movie about….about my life.”
“It wasn’t hard,” Langley replied, the smirk still plastered on his face and for a second, Liz thought she saw something in those blue eyes that reminded her of the man who had been with her in Knoxville, Tennessee, the man that had placed his arm around she and Alex as Isabel died. “You were made to be in pictures, Liz, and if I can’t get you, I can at least tell your story or some portions of it.”
“Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing to do,” Max countered from behind them and Liz felt her entire skin sizzle with anger. “Especially if you claim you’re still trying to protect us.”
“Listen, Maxie boy, I don’t owe you a damn thing.” Langley thrust his arm forward past Liz, his finger pointing directly at Max. “Whatever protection I offer now isn’t for you or the general over there. It’s for Liz and her children.”
“Her children are my children.”
Langley shrugged his shoulders as if Max’s argument meant nothing to him. “Like I give a shit what you say. Liz and her safety is what’s important to me. You gotta let that king complex go. You’re not a king anymore.”
“I’m still the leader, Cal, whether you like it or not,” Max continued, stepping closer to where Liz and Langley stood. Liz felt Langley push against her from behind and she had no choice but to move forward toward Max.
“Some leader,” Langley retorted once Liz was firmly sandwiched between the two men.
“Can you lay off the showing of testosterone around Liz, please,” Maria growled when it became obvious neither Langley nor Max was willing to move. “Geez, you’d think you two weren’t on the same side or anything.” She knowingly arched her eyebrow when both Max and Langley turned toward her then she deposited herself back into one of the seats while the two men returned to opposite sides of the aisle.
“Maria is right,” Sarina countered, her eyes focused entirely on Langley. “We need to know the truth about what happened to Rachel. We need to know if you killed her.”
“I don’t think that’s important,” Langley replied with a shrug. “She’s dead. What does it matter now?”
“It matters,” Sarina growled, Kyle’s hand firmly on her shoulder to keep her from lunging at Langley. “All life matters, and whether Rachel was a bad person or not is not your job to determine.” Sarina wiped at her eyes, turning into Kyle’s open arms.
“Tell us what happened to Rachel,” Liz said as she stepped toward Max, her voice low. “We have a right to know what you know.” Pressing herself against Max’s chest, she exhaled when she felt Max’s hands at her waist, an instant calm flooding her soul.
Langley sighed and rolled his eyes. “Jesse brought Rachel to Roswell. I had been following them for a few months in Boston.”
“Why,” Liz questioned.
“I don’t know, to check up on them maybe. They left Boston so I followed them to Roswell. You have to understand that Rachel wanted to expose you, exploit you. I…I did what was necessary to protect all of you.”
“So you killed her,” Max asked. Langley’s only response was a nod of his head.
“Are you sure you weren’t protecting yourself,” Sarina snapped, her cheeks flush with anger.
“Sarina,” Kyle whispered but Sarina rebuffed his attempts at comfort. Liz turned away from them, Sarina’s display making her uncomfortable. She knew that some part of her wanted to agree with Sarina; after all, she had used almost the same argument with Langley as Max had with Tess when they discovered she had killed Alex. The only difference was that Tess claimed she had not meant to kill Alex, and Langley most certainly had meant to kill Rachel.
“And what about Jesse,” Liz continued after allowing herself a moment to collect her emotions. “Isabel said he was in a mental institution in Boston.”
“Jesse will never be the same again, Liz,” Langley admitted with an air of sadness. “His life with Rachel destroyed his mind. She haunts him.”
“That’s what Isabel said…”
“Whatever he knows is buried so deep, no one could penetrate all the walls he’s put up. If he knows you, he’d never show it, and he certainly won’t know or remember he has a son.”
“How do you know that,” Sarina questioned. “Did you try to kill Jesse too?”
“Jesse is a broken man, kid,” Langley responded as he stuffed a cigar into his mouth, fishing through his pants pockets for a lighter. “You may not believe me and you may not like my motives, but you’re still alive. Remember that, ‘cause I had plenty of chances to kill you.”
“Please don’t threaten her,” Liz quickly countered. “Sarina has every right to be upset.”
“Of course she does. I’m just stating facts. You asked me what I knew and I told you. Rachel was a threat to your safety and I eliminated her. Jesse was an unexpected casualty. I’m really sorry he got hurt.” He paused to glance at Liz then straightened after several seconds. “Well, I’ve gotta get out of here. Good to see you, Liz, as always. Take care of yourself.” He gave Max a mock salute and spun on his heels toward the exit.
“Wait,” Liz called, running a few steps after him. “Wait, there’s something else.”
“What?”
“I’ve been having dreams again, and I know, I know you said that the dreams are sometimes a product of alien pregnancies but these dreams are different.”
“What do you mean?”
“I had a dream about Alex and Isabel. They were mad at me for something, a promise I hadn’t kept. But the last dream I had was about Rachel’s death. Alex and Isabel showed me Rachel…her body.”
Langley crossed one arm over his chest and clasped his chin with his free hand, his eyes downcast. He stepped toward Liz, his eyes never leaving the Rialto’s burgundy aisle carpet. “I don’t know what that means,” he whispered, turning his attention completely on Liz.
“What?”
“I mean, I can’t explain why you’re having these dreams, Liz. I can’t tell you what they mean or what they’re supposed to mean.”
“But you’re the only one…”
“You’re a conduit, Liz. That hasn’t changed. You’re the keeper of your history, so to speak. You’re the one that’s going to tell your children the truth about your life. You’re the one that will influence them and train them and raise them.” Langley paused and placed his hands on Liz’s shoulders. He gave her a small smile, but it did little to comfort Liz.
“Am I cursed? I…I can’t live like this. I…I can’t function normally.”
“Maybe you’re holding on too tight. Maybe it’s you that won’t let Isabel and Alex go. What if they just want peace and you’re keeping them alive inside you?”
“But they are alive inside me.”
“As long as you remember them, they’ll never die. But you gotta let ‘em go. You have to allow yourself to live and look to the future, not the past or your dreams. Live, Liz. Be happy and live.”
I remember falling to the floor as Cal’s words registered in my brain, Max’s face was the first thing that came into focus once my brain stopped swimming. I don’t know where Cal is now; I don’t remember when or how he disappeared from the Rialto. I only know that after he told me to live, something within my soul stirred and I felt free. Maybe I had been holding on too tightly to the past, too guilt-stricken by my involvement or lack thereof to realize that as long as I remembered Alex and Isabel, my children would too.
* * *
May 6, 2007
We met at the cemetery, a small congregation of mourners. It was a beautiful day when we placed Isabel’s ashes in the ground beside Alex’s remains, just like it was a beautiful day when we buried Alex five years ago. I held Hope tightly in my arms as Maria sang “Amazing Grace,” Max beside me with a sleeping Charlie in his arms. Diane and Philip had requested that Alex stand with them. He was in plain view but I hated having him so far away from me. He had been in my arms the first time we said good-bye to Isabel and now that we were saying good-bye again, I felt like he was a world away.
Kyle gave a brief speech, one that made us laugh a little and cry a little. Then he, Max, and Michael broke ground with shovels and deposited Isabel’s remains into the ground. I thought I would break down again, that I wouldn’t be able to hold both my weight and Hope’s but somehow, I didn’t collapse. My knees stayed strong and my heart didn’t crumble as I feared it would. I felt a strange peace as I watched Kyle, Max and Michael cover the small hole and Diane, Philip and Alex place a flower arrangement on top of it.
I smiled through the tears pooling in my eyes as I watched everyone I love say their final good-byes to Isabel because I felt Alex and Isabel on either side of me, Alex’s arm around my shoulders, Isabel’s looped through one of my arms, and I knew they were at peace. They weren’t angry with me anymore; they had nothing else to show me, and as we left the cemetery, I told Max I wanted to come back to Roswell permanently.
It has taken me miles and miles to realize that underneath it all I am still Liz Parker, small town girl, and that I can be happy in Roswell with memories both good and bad. These memories helped shape and define who I am now, and although I sometimes wish I could go back in time and change certain things, I wouldn’t trade the woman I am now for any of those experiences. I can be happy in Roswell, happy and alive.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I too the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Last edited by JO on Thu Feb 12, 2004 9:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
Acknowledgements
All excerpts of poetry written by Robert Frost.
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
The Road Not Taken
They would not find me changed from him they knew –
Only more sure of all I thought was true
Into My Own
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I too the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
The Road Not Taken
They would not find me changed from him they knew –
Only more sure of all I thought was true
Into My Own
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I too the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken