Again (CC, Mature) - Chapter 25 - 07/16/2025

[Parker1947]

Three months later,

Sinead O’Connor’s Nothing Compares 2 U plays…

It’s been seven hours and 15 days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone, I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
‘Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby, where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they’d only remind me of you
I went to the doctor, guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said, “Girl you better try to have fun, no matter what you do”
But he’s a fool
‘Cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you
All the flowers that you planted mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I’m willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

She only wished there was a chance with him again but as the song was fading away, she was listening to music on her iPod. She did not know why she was doing this to herself. Because she was barely standing up right, and in fact she was not even able to even stand at the moment because she was in not control of her life. Any semblance of control lasted about three weeks once she and Callie had gone back to their home in Bethesda. Initially, she had thought that had been the best option for her. She still did not regret it. Even where it would lead her. Because it meant getting the hell out of Roswell, and back to the life that did not have her mourning the loss of the greatest love of her lifetime. The reason I am even alive to try to achieve the glory that always wanted to achieve. But once she came back to life in Bethesda. And even if Max was not part of the life. She still had to remember that she did not the one person that had been responsible for her getting her to this point.

Because he was dead.

Still, she and Callie had gone home, with the hope of getting out of Roswell would be the best thing for her. It beats staying there and not seeing Max in any capacity because she still had a great amount of guilt about the events that led to his passing. Because I will always treasure the fact, we got to spend time together.

And boy did we spend time together she knew. But it was a mess, and she had ended it, and if only she had not ended it, he might not have walking out of the house and into a hail of gunfire. The whys did not matter to her.

She knew why Jim had closed the investigation because there was no evidence of the shooter anywhere. And given Max was who he was she knew that there was the reason to believe his ultimate passing could very well be for reasons that did not even matter to the life that he had been leading. Because it could be any number of enemies and she knew there were enemies, so it was not so far fetched, and if that was to have happened then Liz knew Jim would not have the jurisdiction to get justice.

So, he had to close it and rule it unsolved. Pending any discovery of evidence to reassess the investigation. She knew the tabloids were all over why there was so early of a closure of the case. Was there something the town did not know of, they would cry. Why is the Sheriff closing the investigation? rang the headlines. Because they had been fascinated by the lurid details of his last hours, but they really were more interested in the soapy nature of it all than to mull over the manner of his death, and what or who was the cause of Max’s death. Even if Liz was no longer around to be made mincemeat in the public over her affair with a married man. She was out of their limelight. So, Liz did not even care whether it was solved or not. All that matter to her was Max was no longer living.

What does it matter if it we found out who did it, because it cannot bring Max back to life she thought. Because I already got that miracle once before.

You are never going to get that again she knew.

And therefore, he was someone she could not see…

But as the days went on, she was sure she was seeing him.

It was insanity.

Because everywhere she was going. Even when she was trying to stay sane and was in her everyday life. A life that had no reason whatsoever for Max to have any part of it. Because everyone here does not know how unique Max was… Still memories, and images of her former boyfriend still popped up.

And she had eventually lost it.

Completely. Having a meltdown at an industry event, which was not very good and therefore she was officially on stress leave medical leave, and she was not sure once she was deemed sane enough go back to her life. That her job would be there waiting. Even though they had go through the motions and hold it for her.

She did not even know if she wanted it to be waiting for…

And after all, it was only her now at home. Because the ability to care for herself, and even more so a child only lasted those three weeks before Callie went back to Roswell to spend the summer with her grandparents. Even though she had wanted to stay home and be a comfort for her mother, but Liz knew that was no life for a growing child.

She wanted Callie to have fun. And Jeff and Nancy were up for it. But she had not told her parents why it was needed. She only said Callie had some free time. Plans that she had had gone by the wayside because Liz was in no state to enact them.

So, they grabbed onto the chance.

But that had been a mistake because Callie had been a barrier of sorts for her, and once gone, and she was really left alone. Then she really lost it once she was home all alone.

And seeing Max everywhere.

It made no sense.

But it was like a ghost story she thought. And it did not help that she got dealt an additional personal loss once Callie was gone, that rivaled losing Max in the first place. It was something she still was not reason to talk about, and she knew it was the only reason she would be getting her release papers.

Talking she thought. She needed to talk about the personal tragedies to get out of this place. Because with Callie gone, she had really lost it.

And admitted to the Bethesda Mental Hospital. Self admittance. The official reason was exhaustion, but she knew they were thinking she was crazy.

Loopy.

She knew there had to be some reason why she was seeing Max everywhere she looked. Don’t they know I see things that many others would not be able to see she thought of her gift. Often dormant before her return to Roswell. Because she had not wanted the link to Max, but once he was gone, and she realized that she still had the gift. It had been lifeline, but it made her question her sanity.

So, she sought help…

And therefore, it was where she was, and had been for the last many weeks… She wanted to go home. But she was not getting the clearance. “We called your parents,” came the words of her doctor as they opened the door to her hospital room. “I know you did not want us to do it.”

Yes, I did not want you to do it “What gives you the right?” she said miffed. “I did not want to worry them.”

“They were worried all on their own,” Doctor Thelma Irving said as assessed her patient. “They have been trying to get in touch with you for weeks, and finally they contacted our police department, and asked that they track you down. Apparently, your parents are personal friends with their town Sheriff, who made a few calls, and finally was able to track you down because of his sources.”

Damn it Jim Liz muttered to herself. Yeah, I know why they know the town Sheriff she thought. “What did they say?”

“They wanted to know that you are, okay?” Dr. Irving asked. “So, how are you today, Liz?”

“That is for you to judge,” Liz muttered. “If it was up to me, I would have already gone home” she thought even though she was treating the last few weeks as a spa vacation so that she did not have to think about home. And being alone.

And not even having Max to dream about.

“It is,” Dr. Irving nodded. “If you want to get out of here then we need to be satisfied that you can handle yourself on the outside. Your father will be arriving tomorrow…” she said softly. “He will be taking you back to their home…”

“Damn it,” Liz muttered. “That is the last thing I wanted. Dr. Irving, I cannot go back to Roswell,” she said. “You can let me out, and I will go anywhere else. I will get all the help I can on the outside. I will have someone live with me, but I cannot go back to Roswell.”

“Why not?” Dr. Irving asked. “Is it your family that is the issue?” she asked.

“Hell no, they are the best people in the world” Liz muttered. And they are. Mom and Dad were the best parents she thought. Not a trouble in the world she thought, I am the one who complicated their lives when I became involved with the alien invasion and changed my whole destiny she muttered and she stayed silent, as there was so much that she could not say.

It was why she should not be in some mental hospital.

Because they ask too many damn questions she muttered. But she needed to be away from her daily life, and in a place that would not be easy to be found in, and yet now I have been found.

What does it mean?

Liz did not know but she could see the concern on her doctor’s face. Because she had said too much, and so little at the same time. “Then why can’t you go back to your hometown?” Dr. Irving asked. “Your daughter currently is there, right now?” she asked. “You have talked a great deal of Callie, right?” she asked. “Why not go back to see her?”

“I love my daughter,” Liz murmured “I love my family,” she said. “They are not why I am here,” she sighed. And not why I cannot go back she mused to herself.

“Then why are you here?” Dr. Irving. Because she knew Dr. Elizabeth Parker’s case is a mystery one for me, she acknowledges. Most long-term patients would give me a sense of why they are here, but Liz is not talking…

About anything…

Except her daughter. All she says is that she experienced a great loss, but she cannot talk about it, and she has kept to it the doctor assessed which meant that she knew that her patient was keeping a whole lot to herself. And it was becoming a burdensome exercise.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Liz said softly.

“So, if you won’t talk about it. Then we don’t know if well enough to be released. Because we are not sure. The only way out of here is for your parents to help you,” she said softly. “They were greatly concerned when they realized you were here…”

“I bet they were,” Liz muttered. Sorry Mom and Dad “I don’t want to go home.”

“What do you want?”

“I want Max to be alive,” Liz said softly.

“Whose Max?” Dr. Irving asked of the new kernel of information.

*

Max was the greatest love of her life. And she was at a loss without him. She had been able to get through a decade with out him because she had known he was alive, but to know he was not alive. Well, that was something she could not handle. She simply went silent because to tell the story of her and Max would be talking about something she could not talk about. Even if she kept it simple. And left the topic broad enough that those who were not initiated into the story of Max and Liz, well, they would not be looking between the lines.

Only she knew the warts of the story.

And those who were back in Roswell.

Because there was nothing simple between her and Max.

So, she stopped talking, and the doctor left frustrated at getting nothing out of her patient. “She’s not going to get better if she does not talk,” she said to a fellow doctor.

Liz knew this. She knew enough about the fragile mind.

But once the doors closed, she simply went silent until she spotted an image out of the corner of her eyes. A ghost story all right. “Max,” she said softly.

As she felt comforted by seeing someone who was not there…

Yeah, people had a right to be concerned about her.

But was her brain just trying to process something that did not make a lot of sense. And was it trying to tell herself something.

Why would she be seeing someone who was not there.

Who was dead.

Who could not come back to life.

*

It had happened before. But this was a different situation, and back in Roswell. Everyone was starting to question if they were taking the right tact in the situation because once word of Liz’s current state was making its waves around the gossipvine. They started to gather and start to talk. Because some were not happy with the situation as it was. “This is all our fault,” Maria muttered as she glared at her husband and stepfather. “If we had been honest with her…” she muttered. “She would not have admitted herself to some mental hospital.”

“We were trying to protect her,” Jim said softly. Of course, he knew there had been many ways around how they made the situation. None of them were expecting this result. The Liz Parker I knew was pretty strong he thought.

But the Liz Parker had not been shattered by the permanent loss of someone she truly loved.

“Well, we did a lousy job,” Maria muttered. “Extremely,” she said, and she had made that opinion clearly many of a times during the last three months, even before she had learned of the latest crisis. I am sorry Petunia.

“We thought it would be over by now,” Michael said softly. “But there are no bites out Yvonne,” he muttered as he asked the town Sheriff. “There was little that could have be done…”

“There was plenty we could have done,” Maria reasoned as she glared at her husband “We could have told her the truth. Keeping everything so secretive is not helping the situation. Making people believe what are making them believe is unfair, to everyone,” she muttered. “At least the children are children. We should be protecting them. Because Yvonne still could come after them. But Liz, Liz is different. She would want to protect the situation as it exists” she demanded. “We allowed this to happen.”

“We though we were making the right decision,” Jim sighed.

“We were,” Michael sighed. Because of course, he had gotten Maria’s side of it over the last three months. So, he had seen the darker side of his wife’s personality. She is not always sunshine he knew. Therefore, I want this over as much as anyone. “Anything from Deluca?”

“Nope,” Jim shook his head. As he knew now with Maria’s recent marriage, the only Deluca would be of the Sean variety. “She’s still down south,” he said softly as he looked at his stepdaughter. “Sean is on lookout.”

“Then it’s our fault that we let this happen,” Maria muttered as she did not know if her cousin was being level about the situation, as she got up from her chair because she was feeling a lot of emotion given the situation. As she prepared to storm out of the office. “Liz deserves to know the truth. Because if she knew the truth…”

“She would not have left…” Jim muttered. “She would not have let any of this happen…”

“Precisely,” Maria muttered. “She is going to be furious that we used her because we caused all of this hurt for her,” she sighed, because she knew there was no easy answer to any of this. Of course, there was one, and they had not thought it to be possible to use because they had not seen that it would have prevented so much of the hurt that had been caused by this. Therefore, they will be biting themselves in the end…


Because it would have been so easy.

“She’s going to be upset,” Michael acknowledged. “But there was one person who will be more pissed off when they find out how bad we have screwed this up for Liz…”

“That is true,” Jim acknowledged. “Who is going to tell him?

“I will,” Michael said solemnly.

Jim could only imagine the reaction that would be coming. “When you do see the individual that we are talking about,” he said with a sigh. “Tell him to be careful,” Jim warned.

“I will,” Michael sighed. “But I doubt it’s going to be help…” Once he knows Liz is hurting this much…

*

Unfortunately for Michael. He would not be having the talk he needed to be having right away, because life got in the way. And before he knew it, it was forty-eight hours later when he was making a very important drive. While Maria was at the Crashdown treating the three most important kids in her life to a dinner. While her mother helped Nancy run the restaurant with Jeff making a very important trip to the East coast. Over the last three months, Maria had spent a great deal with Ella and Noah Evans as they dealt with the devastating loss. So much change in their lives she could not help but think. And in this case, another child was joining them. Callie Jean Parker.

Because Maria was also taking time to spend with her because she knew that the eight-year-old did not know anything more then the newly turned nine-year-olds. The fact Max had to miss their birthdays is on us she thought.

But only a certain number of people would know it.

And certainly, the twins did not know what the adults knew. Or what certain adults knew. And Callie had been spending time with the twins since her arrival back in Roswell, and as a result they had become close friends. Which made Maria happy that the three had each other. But it is a very confusing situation for the kids, and I know it Maria thought. “How is school?” she asked the three.

Given the situation with Liz, Callie had begun the school year here in Roswell. Which is why Maria had spent so much time with her because she knew Jeff and Nancy had not bargained for parenthood at their stage in their life. Which is why Liz had taken in Callie in the beginning once they found out that Jeff’s long-lost son was a father, and the child had survived the crash that had taken both parent’s lives.

Fortunately, alcohol was not a factor in this crash, but it was indeed still a crash that had left two dead. And child without her parents, and she had moved in with her single biological aunt, and Liz would eventually adopt the orphan which made Callie legally a Parker.

But it was still a lot for Jeff and Nancy. So, when Callie showed up. Maria had helped them keep an eye on the child.

And then they received the call they had been dreading because they had known something was going on with Liz if she had sent Callie back to Roswell after keeping her away for so much of her life. But they had not known that her Petunia had been hurting so much. I am sorry Liz she muttered.

But because Callie had not gone back home, she had started the school year. She was still so young, switching schools up would not have a dramatic effect on her, she thought, not yet anyways. So, Callie was going to the twin’s school. Although she was a grade behind because of the slight differences in their ages.

“It’s cool I guess,” Callie said. “Although I miss my school back home.”

“I know you do,” Maria smiled. “One of these days you will be going back,” she said. “Your mother needed you to be here for now.”

I know Callie muttered, but she also did not know at the same time. “Is she okay?” Callie asked. She missed her mother. She did not get what was going on. All she knew was that she knew something was going on because she remembered how out of sorts her mother had been when she was back at home.

Which was unusual for her mother because as long as she knew her, and certainly as she was growing up and becoming more aware, she had only know her mother to be the straightest lace, put together woman on the planet.

She rarely saw her mother out of sorts.

Until she did.

And now I am back here because of it, Callie thought. Because she knew her mother had sent her away because she was a mess. But she did not know if her mother was doing alright because while they talked on the phone over the time apart, still she knew you can say one thing and be another when you were on the phone.

“She is going to be alright,” Maria could only mutter because she hated the situation.

“It is just I miss my mother,” Callie sighed, as she saw the frown on the twin’s face, both of them. “Sorry,” she sighed softly because she knew how much the twins missed their father. Ella and Noah often talked about Max to her. While they loved their aunt, and uncle in Kyle who had been helping Isabel with the twins since they all moved back into Isabel’s house after a month with their grandparents.

“It’s okay,” Ella muttered. Because she knew how much Callie missed her mother, and Ella thought she knew more than either her brother or best friend of the situation because she was a pretty good eavesdropping. Noah is no slouch either she knew, but her mother just did not get it like she did at times. Although she was too young to know it meant anything more than being a perceptive young girl. She was not up on the specialness of their abilities, not yet anyways Maria knew. “We miss Daddy,” she said softly.

“I suggest that you two remember the good memories,” was all Maria could say. “Your father was an incredible man,” she muttered as she hated to have to use the word, was.

Ella and Noah nodded. Still because they had a little interaction with Liz before the unspeakable happened, they could not help but be curious about the person who had brought a spark to their father’s eyes. At eight when everything happened, they of course did not know what it all meant. But they were getting a sense. “Is Callie’s mother coming back?”

“Yes, she is” Maria muttered. “One of these days,” she muttered because she did not know when. After all, Jeff had run out of the Crashdown and got on the first flight he could the day before, and flown to Bethesda, Maryland to help his daughter.

When asked, Nancy only would say that Liz was out of the hospital and Jeff was helping her. Which made Maria happy, but she missed her friend, and she hated how much she knew, and had not been able to tell her best friend. So, she hated how she might have helped accelerate her best friend’s state at the moment.

“One of these days,” Maria muttered.

*

One of those days was this one. And a call was preparing to pull up outside the Crashdown. Just as Isabel and Kyle were walking down the street to meet up with Maria and the kids for dessert. It had been a date night for them. One of the few since Isabel had taken over as the twin’s guardian, and they moved into her place. They had more of ability to go out before hand, but since, Isabel had not wanted to leave them for long.

“Fun movie,” Kyle was saying as they walked down the street.

“Yes, it was” Isabel smiled. She knew she and Kyle had needed. The last three months had escalated their relationship in ways that you would have thought would have happened long before since they had been doing this dance for more years than it was good to count at this moment, and yet they had kept things very slow until the last few months, which out of necessity had moved things a long way from where they had started.

It was not for her sake. But for the twin’s sake. Having two adults in the same house does wonders when you are dealing with two mischievous young children who don’t get why they don’t have their father in their lives anymore.

Noah and Ella had to get used to not having a mother, they should not have to get used not to having my brother in their lives Isabel could not help but think. But it’s this way because it has to be… Although some might quibble about the decisions that we have made she knew, but she had not been thinking straight at the time.

None of us were, and we had to act first…

So, having Kyle there for he once she and the twins had moved back to her home. After a month with her parents. Because like Max often found, being back in their childhood home for long sometimes led to clashes, not that Isabel did not understand things, but given the circumstances, and the help she had gotten with the twins, still though she could not have stayed there much longer, and so she, Ella and Noah had moved into her home.

Kyle followed.

Neither grown up knew if the arrangement would last once Isabel got over the hurdler of sudden parenthood. She had always been on record as the guardian for the twins if anything ever was going to happen to her brother, of course I would take the children if it became necessary, she would think.

She never imagined it would become a necessarily. And that Max could not help himself. Of course, not she now knew. He’s a healer, but he cannot help himself from the unimaginable she thought. So, she was rocked when she suddenly became a parent. She had always been the fun aunt. She never was the parent.

Now she was.

But it was supposed to be temporary, right? she thought of the reasons for it. That very few people knew about.

But unfortunately, they had just hit the three month point after this saga had begun. With no end in sight.

She desperately wanted to reach the end, if only for this to be over. And maybe we can go back to normal she thought. But then she had doubts that they would ever be able to go back to normal. Back to where life had been once.

“Maybe we can do it again soon,” Kyle murmured.

“Yeah, maybe” Isabel said softly as she tried to come back to today’s reality. “The kids are starting to feel more settled,” she acknowledged as saw the concern on Kyle’s face and knew he knew that she had been spacing out again. Something that was not a rarity. “I do appreciate how much help you have been to me,” she said with a sigh. “Kyle, you did not have to do all this for us.”

“I love you Isabel,” Kyle said. A sentiment that did not get said as much as he would like. Because neither wanted to think of how serious their current situation was and did not want feelings to get in the way of what needed to be done. But it was a reality for him. I love her he thought.

“I love you too” Isabel smiled. “I know it must be hard to love me.”

“I have loved you since we were teenagers,” Kyle smiled. “Even when I had to sit and watch you with Jesse, so I understand that things can be complicated,” he sighed with a smile. “I know how you were worried to go further with the two of us.”

“Because I did not want to screw up again.”

“You did not screw up the first time,” Kyle muttered. “Jesse was a good guy. But you were young, and we make mistakes we are young. We go into them thinking we know best, and unfortunately life has a way of showing us what it all is meant to be. You had a chance, and even though it did not work out. It should not scare you to try again, because it does not always have to go badly.”

“I know you are right” Isabel said. “I just wanted to make sure it was right the next time, I went there, because I went into a little too blindly with Jesse and look where it got me” she sighed. “I never want that feeling again.”

“A lot was going on back then.” Kyle conceded.

“Yes, there was” Isabel nodded. “I just don’t want to be rush into anything now, because of certain changes in my circumstances.”

“You have not rushed into anything,” Kyle said with a laugh, as he reminded Isabel that their courtship had not been exactly fast. “We have been doing this dance of us, for nearly the whole time we have been back in Roswell,” he said softly. “I don’t think anyone would describe us as going too fast.”

“You are right,” Isabel smiled. We are the definition of going slow she knew. “I know you wanted more…”

“I did,” Kyle said. “But I am where I want to be,” he said with a smile. “Sure, it is unconventional, but it works for us, and it’s up to us where we go from here” he allowed. “The last three months have been a change, sure, but we need to see it out, but once it’s all over, then…”

“Then what?” Isabel asked.

“Then we can see where we are at,” Kyle said with a smile. “I think we will know where we stand by the end of this, and where we want to be at” he said with a look that got Isabel to smile too, as he knew where he was at, and sensed he knew where Isabel was at, but you don’t rush her, and we do have all the time in the world.

“Life is short,” Isabel muttered. We have seen it too clearly.

“Yes, it is” Kyle agreed as they saw a car slowly come up the street and pause in front of the Crashdown “Uh oh,” he murmured.

“What?” Isabel asked.

“Someone’s back,” was all Kyle said as they witnessed the car pull up in front of the Crashdown. As someone is making their return, they both thought.

Which meant anything was possible now.

“This is not what we need” Isabel muttered.

“Jeff and Nancy don’t know what we know,” Kyle murmured. Hell Liz does not even know what we know he sighed. “They want to help their daughter. I bet Roswell is the last place that she wants to be.”

Isabel nodded.

“She misses your brother,” Kyle murmured.

[totallizfan]

It might help Liz to be back in Roswell because she can at least talk about Max with her family and friends.
I wonder if Maria will continue to keep the secret from Liz.

[Parker1947]

We all miss Max was all Isabel could mutter to herself as the car stopped, but nothing happened. No one was getting out, not yet anyways as Isabel and Kyle could only watch as the door quickly opened, and Jeff Parker came out of the driver’s seat. Jeff spotted Isabel and Kyle and nodded.

Neither Isabel nor Kyle was quick to watch over because both had the sense to know that this situation did not call for it, as the seconds, and minutes wore on, but the passenger door was not opening until Jeff only sighed and walked over, and opened in. “Come on Lizzie, we are here” he was saying as he was trying to coax his daughter to get out of the family car. “I need to park in the back.”

“I know where we are Dad,” Liz muttered as she finally got out because she knew she could not stay inside the car. People would be noticing. She already knew too many people noticed her, and she bet it would not be any calmer now three months later as she was back to the sight of the day everything changed, in more ways than one she thought. So, yes, she got out and she saw Kyle and Isabel were watching.

And she froze.

“Honey,” Jeff was saying.

This is too much Liz was thinking. “I cannot go in there,” she said softly to her father. Aware she was gathering eyes of on lookers because she was not an ordinary person coming to eat at the restaurant. She was more. She was the prodigal daughter coming home, after three months, sure it’s not ten years anymore, but I left in more of an infamous manner than I did in the first place she thought.

But all she could do was look at the doors that swung open and close to the family business. “I need time,” she said, and that time was even more apparent when she saw Isabel staring at her. She did not care about Kyle watching her, because she knew he was not judging her. But it was also what Isabel held she is my link to someone who is lost.

“If you don’t want to go in, go up the back way, okay?” Jeff asked, as he was prepared for this. “You can use the stairs. Your mother is up in the apartment.”

“Thank you,” Liz said softly as she turned and walked away…

Leaving Jeff to sigh because he hated seeing his daughter so pained. As Isabel and Kyle only moved when Liz was no longer in their eyesight.

“Mr. Parker,” Isabel said softly.

“You know it’s Jeff,” Jeff murmured. “You guys have been in my restaurant more than enough times over the years.”

Both Isabel and Kyle nodded.

“Lizzie needed time” was all Jeff could say.

“We know,” Kyle said softly. “I am sure the restaurant provides a lot of memories for your daughter.”

“I don’t know why,” Jeff muttered. Sure, I know why, but still it’s a little weird he was thinking but both Isabel and Kyle knew why.

“So much of my brother and your daughter was started in the restaurant,” Isabel knew. She and Michael might not have gotten the bond between her brother and Liz. Or the fact that Max risked everything because it put everything into peril, but Isabel did understand that it had to be hard to go back into the restaurant when so much monumental was started in those walls. And given what did happen in the end…

Jeff nodded. “All I want to do is support my daughter.”

“How is she doing?” Kyle asked. Because it hurt him as much as it did Maria when they received word about Liz’s condition.

“She’s doing well enough,” Jeff sighed. “She did not want to come here. But the condition of her release was that she could not be alone, at least not yet he thought.

Kyle nodded. “Her job?”

“Is over,” Jeff was all he was willing to say.

“What happened?” Isabel asked. “I don’t know much of what she was doing back there of course. Only my brother did, but I know she had accomplished a lot,” she sighed. “I remember how much you and Nancy were boasting about her success” she said of all the times she had come into the Crashdown, alone or with someone else. “So, what happened?”

“Rumors made their way to her boss,” was all Jeff was saying. “And they decided that they could not take the risk of having Liz come back. Even if work was probably the only thing that would get her to not concentrate on the past and use the distraction to get back on her feet. So, she had no choice but to come back here to Roswell.”

“That is a shame,” Isabel sighed as she looked at Kyle who frowned. “It’s the last thing she needed to do. Is to start at zero again…”

“Who passed on those rumors?” Kyle asked.

“We don’t know,” Jeff said.

*

So-called morality clauses Liz cursed as she walked to the back of her family’s restaurant and prepared to go up to the apartment without having to go through the restaurant because she was not mentally prepared yet to see the inside of the Crashdown. Because her father had kept it so close to what it had been back in 1999 and the early 2000’s when everything was fresh and unknown, and then the invasion happened, and nothing would be the same from that September day.

She did not want to have those memories, not yet anyways she thought because she had so many other memories and wanted to have guarded them until she was better prepared. She had not wanted to come back.

She never wanted to come back. Not after she left three months earlier.

And why she had left.

The memories were too fresh, but she was left with little choice. No one at home to keep an eye on me she knew. In case I take drastic measures to relieve my loneliness. So, that had been the condition the psychiatrist had given her father when he was demanding they release his daughter.

Largely because she was forcing the issue. Saying that she did not want to be in the hospital a moment later.

But of course, once home, she assumed that she could persuade her father that if she could return to her job than she would have something to concentrate on and he could go home, and therefore, he and her mother would not be so worried for her, because she was determined to not go back to Roswell.

They were not going to force me she muttered to her at the time.

But I did not get my way she mutters to herself now. Because all her plans were for naught because once home, she had opened her mail and found a termination notice. With an accompanying final paycheck. Basically, paying me off so I don’t make waves she cursed. As she remembered what the notice said, which was that she had not meant the standards of their so-called morality clause, and therefore, her employment would cease. Sure, it did not help that melted down at that industry event, but I sought help, and you cannot fire someone if they are seeking mental help.

But then it’s only 2012 she thought. Life is not that enlightening yet on the duress people might feel she thought. But she called her boss and was told that certain rumors had reached them of her time in Roswell.

Her boss had not been forthcoming on said rumors, but Liz knew that the rumors had to be lurid for her boss to give her the heave ho, despite all she had done for the company, and while her father wanted to know who had told Liz’s job those rumors. Liz knew.

She suspected the person. But she did not voice her suspicion.

Because only one person would want revenge over her… And would actively work on wrecking the life she had so painstakingly built.

So now she was back in Roswell because this person wanted revenge. Could she not see that if I had something to stay in Maryland for, then I would not be coming back to Roswell she thought. Because she did not want to return to Roswell.

And even without a job, she still did not want to come back to her hometown. But Jeff was adamant that if she could not stay home alone. And especially if she did not have a job to return too, then she was listening to the doctors, and coming back with him.

Liz did not have much choice.

Now she was back, as she walked up the stairs and opened the door to the apartment that was her childhood home. Most people have homes or move around so often that they never really have a home she thought, but that is not me she thought. I have this place she thought. This apartment. Most would think it would be too small for a growing family, to be over a restaurant but given she had worked downstairs once I was allowed too, she thought, it oddly worked.

“Oh my god Liz,” Nancy said as she heard the door open, and she had come out of the bedroom.

“You knew I was coming right?” Liz asked, a little wary.

“Of course, I did Liz, and it’s so good to see you” Nancy said as she walked over to her daughter and hugged her. “Are you okay?”

“Not really, but enough okay for those doctors to release me” Liz said softly.

“Well, you can stay here as long as you want.” Nancy murmured because she hated thinking that her daughter was so out of sorts that she needed to seek help, and could not come back…

She should have come back here Nancy muttered to herself, but she knew of course why her daughter was unable to come back. Even now, she wondered if it was a good thing. But it was good to see her daughter.

To see some color back in her face, it was lacking when she left us.

“I would be gone tomorrow if I had anything to go back too,” Liz muttered as she looked around the apartment. “I suppose Dad told you that my job does not want me back.”

“Yes, your father did mention it” Nancy sighed. That is brazen for them to do it given my daughter was seeking help she thought to herself.

“Of course, he did,” Liz sighed. “it is not exactly how I wanted to come back here,” she muttered. “Left with no choice.”

Although that is how it would have to happen because I had no intention of ever coming back to this town she knew. So, Liz could only shake her head.

“You will do what you want to do when the time is right” Nancy sighed. “Come in and get something to eat. I am sure it’s been a long day,” she said softly.

“Yes, it was” Liz conceded. “I am a little hungry.”

Nancy smiled.

“I guess I will be here longer than I want to be, because it is not like I have anything to go back too” Liz muttered once more as she looked around to see where her daughter was. “Where is Callie?” she said as she thought of the only reason she had come back. And not run out on her father, because she wanted to see her daughter.

“She is downstairs having dinner with Maria,” Nancy said softly. “She has been a great help with the girl,” she said with a smile. “She has made it her mission to help out, but on this night, they were joined by Ella and Noah…”

“Oh,” Liz said softly and nodded, because she did not know what to say to that little tidbit, as she looked around. Trying to think of what she could say. So, she concentrated on the easy. “I hope she has been good for you and Dad?” she said as she was thankful that her best friend had been there for her daughter, when I cannot be there, she muttered. It should not have been like this she knew.

It did not feel good to know she could not handle the last couple of months.

“She’s been wonderful honey,” Nancy smiled. “She’s doing very well in school” she said. “She’s thriving.”

“I am glad,” Liz sighed. Because she did not know what she could say. Or the fact her daughter had to start the school year here in Roswell because she couldn’t be back at home with her, and therefore, she knew this had to be a different experience for her daughter. Roswell is a very different town.

She did not know where either of them went from here.

“You two are welcome to stay as long as you want too” Nancy said softly as Jeff walked into the apartment, and she smiled when she looked at her husband. Someone she had loved for a very long time. “Thank you for getting our daughter.”

“Well, I was not going to let her stay in that place a minute longer than she should have been there” Jeff sighed as he glanced over at their daughter. “If only you had told us earlier where you were, than we might have come sooner, and gotten you out of there.”

“I know you would have” Liz sighed. And that is the problem because she knew exactly what her parents would have done, because it was exactly what they had done.

Bring me home.

A home that does not have Max.

“We want to help you,” Jeff said softly.

“I know you do,” Liz muttered. I don’t know how you can help me she thought because she did not know where she was in any of this. “You have been helping me by keeping an eye on Callie for me, and I did not need you to do anything more than that” she muttered. “Because if I had told you where I was, I know what would have happened.”

“We would have been there for you, honey,” Nancy sighed.

“I needed you with Callie,” Liz sighed. “I did not need you there with me,” she said. “I made a mess of myself, and it was my mess to clean up” she said. “I did not want to come back here,” she said.

Of this town.

“It’s your home Lizzie,” Jeff murmured.

“It was once my home,” Liz sighed. “But it’s not what it was…”

“Honey,” Nancy sighed.

“It’s fine Mom,” Liz said softly. “I am here now, whether I want to be here or not” she muttered. “I can spend time with Callie and figure out where we go from here” she sighed. “It’s not like I have a job to go back too in Maryland.”

“They should not have treated you like that,” Jeff sighed. Which is why he had wanted to let his daughter sit back in her home, and come home without here, because he knew it was not what she needed. But then I don’t know what she needed.

Liz knew exactly what she needed, but she could not have what she needed.

Because Max is gone.

“They have a facility to manage” Liz muttered. “The higher ups don’t like their workers to have issues,” she sighed. “Especially if they are working on breakthroughs,” she sighed. “So, I understand it.”

“They still should have seen you were seeking help.” Jeff sighed.

“I know why they let me go Dad,” Liz sighed. “They heard of the rumors of back here…”

“There was nothing for them to be concerned off, and how did they know of it exactly” Nancy asked. “Roswell is still a small town, and a dot on the map” she sighed, despite the enthusiasts who come here looking for aliens.

After all, we cater to that crowd.

“Who would have told them?” Jeff asked.

“One person unfortunately,” Liz sighed. But she did not elaborate and stopped talking because she did not want to talk about it.

*

Downstairs,

Within the restaurant. Isabel and Kyle had now joined the table for dessert, which had been ordered. A good time was trying to be had, but it was hard. They all knew it, but they were trying to being cheerful about it. With some success, as the kids had picked their desserts, and the orders were placed. When the back door slid open, and Nancy appeared. Maria noticed and decided to get up from the table and walk towards Nancy. Which is something that Ella Evans also noticed, but Callie and Noah were too immersed with talking about something going on at school. It was something the adults wanted, because real life was way too complicated, and it should not have been like this for the children. They deserve an easier go of it they would think.

Unfortunately, that is not what life has provided them so far.

“Are you okay Nancy?” Maria asked. And she still felt it was strange to be calling her best friend’s mother by her name. Because for so long in her life, it was Mrs. Parker even if unofficially she had been her boss at one time.

“Yes, I am fine” Nancy said. “How is Callie?” she asked.

“They are having a good time, almost finished. Dessert is being ordered” Maria smiled. “Is there something I should know?”

“Oh, nothing” Nancy sighed. “It’s just that she should come up to the apartment.”

“Really?” Maria asked.

“Yes,” Nancy said softly.

And Maria got it, oh, really, she thought but wisely chose not to say it so that no one would suspect a thing. But then she did not think it was a surprise that her friend had not come through the restaurant, because all through dinner she had one eye trained at the front door, hoping for Liz to come through, and she also knew Callie did too.

But fortunately, Callie was still a child and was able to find herself immersed with her friends.

“When she has is ready,” Nancy sighed. “It does not have to be a rush…”

“Is she okay?” Maria asked, without elaborating, or naming names.

Of course, Nancy knew who Maria was referring too, and she nodded. If only it could be the truth she thought. “But she has had better days,” Nancy said softly. “Maria, she’s so unhappy.”

Maria knew that, even though she had not seen her friend in three months. But she could imagine. Unfortunately, I can imagine what it would feel like she thought, if I had to deal with it with Michael she thought, but fortunately for her, she did not have to deal with it, with Michael. She was still in the honeymoon phase of her life even if that honeymoon phase is very different looking than what I was imagining it could be. “I wish it was not like that,” she said.

“Unfortunately, it is” Nancy said softly. “I better go up, because Jeff will need to come back here” she allowed.

“It’s not that busy,” Maria said softly.

“But it’s our life,” Nancy said softly as she smiled, and turned and head back upstairs. And Maria hated this, because it was not what she wanted for her friend, and she was a loss to know how to handle.

Maria hated how to even think it, it was easier when she was gone so I did not have to think she thought. To know what I know she sighed.

Now she is back she thought as she looked over at the table where Isabel and Kyle were located with the kids, Kyle caught her eye, and nodded, because they were both thinking the same things. It’s hell they both knew.

As she walked over to table.

“Anything?” Kyle said briefly.

“All is well,” Maria said softly. “Eat your dessert,” she said to Callie who looked up at her honorary aunt. She had seen her grandmother and Maria talking, and she could not help but wonder what it was about. “Although when you are done, your grandmother would like to join them upstairs.”

“Really, why?” Callie asked.

“You will see” Maria smiled. “You might have a surprise waiting for you?”

“What kind of surprise?” Callie asked, and Ella could not help but look at her twin brother and they exchanged a look, but they knew the sensitivities of their feelings were being taken into consideration, and a lot was not being spoken off because they were without someone precious that they both truly loved.

And neither of them knew why.

Why was being asked by a lot of people. And it was an answer that no one really knew.

“You will see,” Maria said softly.

“I guess,” Callie murmured as she went back to her sundae.

*

Upstairs,

She resisted going into her old room. Even though that was the only other room in the apartment. And it was where her father had placed her suitcase. She insisted that she would sleep on the couch, but her parents were not going to have that. So, Liz knew that battle was for another time but all she knew was that she could not go back into her old bedroom.

Because she was trying not to bring the memories back to her…

I am just out of a mental hospital she thought, and she knew fully well that she had managed to make it through my dreaming of Max. Somehow summoning the memory of her great love to her, and that was last thing she needed now as she had to prove to her parents that she was sane, and she was not going to lose her grip on reality once more.

“Honey, you are not going to stay on the couch” Nancy said brushing that thought away from being sensible. “Your daughter wants you to stay in your old room with her,” she said softly. “We have already put a new bed in there, for you.”

Of course, you did Liz muttered to herself. You did not want to ask me what I want she sighed and knew at the heart of this was the simple fact. This whole escapade was doing what someone else wanted and not what I wanted, but then I am just out of a mental hospital, so I don’t have a lot of say she would have to concede. But it did not mean she could not put up a fight. “That is not necessary, but I am not going to be staying in my old room” Liz said with a curse. “I am trying to move on, and the last thing I should do is spent time in that room” she muttered. “Callie does not need me in her room, Mom” she said softly. “It’s her room while we are here…”

“Callie is only eight,” Nancy said. “She does not need privacy yet, and the room is big enough.”

I know how big it is she sighed, of the special attachment that also was connected to the room. “I am not going into that bedroom,” Liz said softly with more a more adamant tone. “I slept on the couch the last time I was here.”

“That was only for a night, honey” Nancy said. It is all you gave us she thought. “But this time is different because you don’t know when you will be leaving, right?” she said.

“Unfortunately.” Liz admitted. Because it’s not like I have a life to go back too… “But regardless, the couch was comfortable for me last time, and it will be for while I am here. Because as soon as I have something figured out. I am sure Callie, and I will be out of here,” she said softly because the last thing she wanted was to be in this apartment.

And the memories attached to it.

“Why are you so skittish to be in this apartment, honey” Nancy asked. “This is your home.”

It’s my home alright she thought. It is where I grew up, but it not the same place anymore she thought.

“Honey,” Nancy asked.

“It’s the memories,” came a sudden voice. A new arrival to the apartment. As the door had opened and in walked Maria and Callie…

“Mommy,” Callie cried as she raced into the apartment and rushed over to her mother and was enveloped into a huge hug.

“Oh Callie,” Liz said softly. Smelling the innocence of the child and wanting that to continue longer. As she had not realized how much she had needed to see her daughter. As the last several months had been the longest that they had been apart. As she quickly assessed the girl, the time here in Roswell has done her well she thought. “You look so grown up.”

“I am the same as I was when you last saw me” Callie said.

No, you are different Liz thought. Or is it that I am different she asked as she took the happiness of her daughter’s glow of seeing her and saw the smile on her best friend’s face. “Hello Maria.”

“Hello Liz” Max said. “Welcome home.”

Home, am I home? Liz asked.

*

She did not know. She did not have the right answer. Because she had come back Roswell kicking and screaming because she had not wanted to be here. She did not want the memories. Of actions she taken, and the fact the one person who meant even more than her family was no longer around for her to stare at him even though she knew she had messed up so royally the last time she had been here, that it had ultimately caused her job back in her old life. So, of course, she did not have a home in Maryland. Even though she still had a home, and life there, but nothing that was drawing her back there.

At least not yet.

“Thank you for spending time with Callie” was all Liz could think to say. She hated how things have been working out. She used to love Roswell, and the charm of the small town and yet now she had so conflicting emotions in her, maybe being back will force me to confront them she wondered.

“My pleasure, and I have the night to myself as Michael is out of town” Maria said softly and tried to keep it simple. Even though the situation is not simple in the least she thought.

“Oh, where is he?” Liz asked.

“Working,” Maria said simply. “A case.”

“Oh,” Liz only nodded because she knew that Michael was working a private investigator. Doing selective cases when he felt like it. With Maria owning the bar, she had to stay closer to home, so she was unlikely to go with Michael unless it was called for. “I appreciate it, I know you are busy. That you could take time off from the bar?”

“The bar is holding its own, I have someone I trust keeping an eye on it” Maria said softly. “Callie matters to me.”

“She matters to me too,” Liz said as she felt guilty with how she had behaved these past few months. As if Max is the be all and end all she thought when she had more looking up at her, and worried about her. I should be worried about Callie’s future.

“We know she does,” Maria said as Callie had gone over to talk to her grandparents. “She has been doing very well,” she said softly. “She has been making herself at home here and making friends.”

“I am glad” Liz said softly. I wish she did not have too she thought. “I wish she could have stayed home with me…”

“But you were not in that frame of mind, huh?” Maria asked even though she knew she was in dangerous waters. By what she knew, and what she could not say at this point, although we have way down the road so who knows what is going to happen now, she thought.

Although Michael would have my head if I said something she thought.

She did not know if this course of action that she was allowing to be untaken was the right one because nothing had come from it, but still…

“She was better off here,” Liz said softly.

“Obviously, it was the right decision” Maria said. “Although you could have told us you know that you needed help.”

“I knew what would have happened,” Liz muttered. Exactly what ended up happening she mused. “I didn’t want to come back here.”

“But you are here, now” Maria asked.

“Unfortunately,” Liz muttered. “But all I know is that we will be leaving as soon as we can” she murmured. “Even if it’s not back to our home in Maryland. We will be going somewhere else…”

You might think you are Maria sighed, but she had her doubts. Because she knew they were on troubled grounds, and no one knew what was going to happen next.

[totallizfan]

So Liz has lost her job.
Her state of mind is worrying.
Maybe being with Callie, her family and friends will be the distraction she needs to help her cope with loosing Max.
Callie seems very content in Roswell, maybe eventually Liz will too.

[Parker1947]

That is right. No one did. Although in the immediacy, things preceded as normally as they could. Thankfully. As Liz found herself upstairs in the apartment, spending time with her family, and her daughter, and eventually falling asleep on the couch, and not waking up until a good eighteen hours later, surprising even her when she would realize it. But Jeff and Nancy had not wanted to wake their daughter up and only made checks on her to make sure she was still breathing, and of course she was. I am not that lucky Liz moaned to herself in those moments of true despair. But she had too much to live for, even if I don’t see it now. So, the hours went by, and Nancy took Callie to school the next morning, tipping toeing out of the apartment at the sight of a passed-out Liz. Jeff had already gone downstairs to the restaurant to open it up for the day, “Mommy is going to be alright, right?” Callie had quietly asked her grandmother as they preceded down the stairs towards the car. After seeing her mother so restless in her unconscious.

“Your mother needs her rest” Nancy said softly. “A lot has been stirred up for her, and she needs time to adjust.”

“Because she misses Ella and Noah’s father, right?” Callie asked. Because she might still be young, but she knew the facts of life. Or most of them and plus, she heard the gossip. Sure, those gossip hounds tried to go quiet when they saw Callie watching, but even the smallest child can still pick things up, and she could not help but pick it.

And of course, kids are notorious for spilling secrets and talking a good game when they don’t understand the complex emotional complexities that are attached to the gossip that gets spilled, and small ears will pick it up and talk about it. Especially on the school ground. Because kids are not likely to be deferential to the fact Noah and Ella were mourning the loss of their father. And Callie was staying with her grandparents because her mother had a nutty because of her attachment to Max Evans. And because she and Max had done things before his death that had made tongues wagged.

So, Callie was well aware that something was going on with her mother. She had spent so much of her life as the daughter of a single mother, and her mother had been the most put together mother out there. A scientist to her core, and she seemed to have it all together. So, for her to be this out of sorts was a stunner for her daughter.

And it was making an impression on the child.

She knew it was not to be expected because she could see that her grandparents were also mystified too, but not really because she knew her grandparents probably knew more than she did. I know people want to keep things from me she thought. I pick up on stuff, but still there is a lot I don’t know she thought.

One day I will…

And I did hear reference to a previous time where Mom was out of control the child would think, but her grandparents only clamped down when they realized their granddaughter was watching them.

Although she knew enough to be able to pinpoint the way her mother was behaving could be laid at the feet of the loss of Ella and Noah’s father. And how tremendous of a loss it was to the whole, town and most of all, her mother.

She had before tried asking her grandparents, but they just did not answer her, so bringing it up now, was making the unsure of the reaction she was going to get. Yeah, Nancy was not wanting to get into it with an eight-year-old, it is such a complicated situation she told herself, so she quietly nodded. “Something like that,” she said as she drove the child to school.

Letting Liz sleep.

Because sleep was what she needed because she was dreaming. Dreaming of those memories that she had cherished before life brutally took Max away from her. And those memories were a little more X-rated and not kid friendly.

It kept her company.

Until her eyes fully opened hours later, to the moaning of Max’s name, oh Max, yes, Max she murmured ever sexily but she could not afforded the ability to see the conclusion of the sensation she was feeling It’s almost like he can touch me she murmured to herself, and is not lost the world, because her body was telling her that was time to wake up. As her eyes opened, and she knew only too well that her dreams were just that, only dreams and Max is not out there she thought, Max is dead she thought, he only exists in my dreams as she sought the confirmation of the hour by the clock, which would say that it was afternoon. She groaned, and moved her head fully, and rubbed her eyes, and she felt stiff as she moved, she had not known a time before that she had slept so peacefully and silently without the aid of medication which of course is what happened within the hospital. The only other time I slept quietly she told herself when the hospital had pumped drugs into her to quiet her down.

But this time she had not had any drugs, or alcohol the slumber that made her sleep the day away.

Yet, she still wanted to be sleeping so that she dreamt of Max.

Of what she lost.

And all the regret she had because she had walked away back in the beginning. If only I had not told him to get a life without me, she thought.

But she did not know if they were always destined to end this way. Because this was always the possibility of losing Max, but most of their separations were because they had walked away from each other because of circumstance. Or I did.

But this time, it was something different. But it was also something final, and something that could not be reversed.

But was it really? was the undercurrent that Liz was trying to ignore, and she was not thinking of the possible that the incident in senior year could be repeated. Because why would it?

And would I not already know? She would ask herself if she was even thinking of it.

But she was, and it was three months later.

Everything seemed final.

But of course, in this story, everything was final until it was not.

Everything was open to interpretation. But that is not what Liz needed right now. She needed her life to make sense. She hated how she was now back to being a teenager, forced to be in her childhood home. Because the life she had crafted for herself had been dismantled little by little. First by her own actions, and then because of the consequences of those actions even if she would not know the meaning of it all yet. Yet she was a mother, and she had not been one for little less than three months.

She had abdicated her role.

And she did not feel good as she pulled a sweatshirt over her. She knew she did not look like the Liz Parker of old. She did not feel like Liz Parker of old. Yet, she did not know who she was. She could not be the premiere scientist she had been in Bethesda unless someone else took a chance on her, and it’s not like I can go back because word of my meltdown and failure to adhere to my company’s moral standards.

As if the company really knew the truth of the matter.

But they only knew of what they had been told Liz knew. She sensed Yvonne had embellished with a relish the truth, to the extent that her need for a mental health break was not enough to keep her job.

She knew she probably could sue.

But she did not have the heart anymore.

Nothing mattered.

Only her family, and friends, and memories of Max mattered.

But she knew she could not think of Max. Not anymore. Because she knew she had to get back to her sanity. “Honey, you are awake?” Nancy asked as she appeared through the door. Relieved to see her daughter awake.

“I didn’t think anyone was home?” Liz said softly.

“I just got back. Drove Callie over to a friend’s home” Nancy murmured.

“School already over?” Liz asked as her eyes went to the clock, and she winced to see that the day was already passing itself by.

“Short day,” Nancy said. “Teacher conference this afternoon” she said softly. “She and her friend will be coming over here in a little while…”

I never really relished those type of days she knew. Because unlike most of her peers back in school. She relished school. She did not care to miss it. That is what made me different in those days she sighed. “Thank you, Mom, for doing that for Callie,” Liz sighed. “When I should be doing it. She is my daughter.”

“You are taking your time to get better,” Nancy murmured. “Callie understands. And she knows one day soon you will be able to do it yourself. All she wants is for you to take care of yourself. Which is the same thing as what your father and I want to do.”

“I am trying Mom, I am trying” Liz sighed because she knew she probably was not okay. Not in the least she knew. Because the only reason she had gotten released from the hospital was because her father had come and gotten her, otherwise they might have kept her longer. Ignoring her pleas.

Even if she knew she had needed to there.

Or deep down she knew. The more rational side of myself she murmured. She knew that part of herself was still there… Deep down she muttered as she saw the concern on her mother’s face. “Mom, I fine.”

“You might say it…” Nancy sighed. But are you really, okay? She wondered as she knew enough not to say the words because she knew her daughter was far from being okay. But it is only day one she muttered.

“I might,” Liz sighed. “But it’s the truth. You don’t have to worry about me.” Like you believe that yourself Liz, she told herself. Because she had long been an accomplished actress. Trying to spin a side of herself to the public that she did not feel, and it had started when she was a teenager, and she was forced to keep some pivotal life changing events from her own parents. And sure, those same parents eventually became wary and could see through her, even if they would not really know what the truth, I was hiding she sighed to herself.

“We do,” Nancy sighed. “But take your time okay, and please don’t rush into anything” she asked. “You need to take your time, at your own speed” she said softly. “Don’t try to push it.”

Liz nodded.

“Honey…” Nancy murmured.

“Mom don’t say it. I know what you and Dad are thinking, and it’s not like I am going anywhere. Callie and I don’t have anywhere to go. Or not at the moment,” she sighed. “Until I get my life a little more under control. So, you and Dad will have us around, and so don’t fret, okay?” she asked. “In fact, I think I might go downstairs and see what is going on down there,” she murmured because she needed an escape from the judgment on her mother’s face, or the perceived judgments because Nancy was not judging. She only wanted her daughter to be happy, and to be safe.

And to be healthy.

Really? Nancy thought as she did not know the inner battles of her daughter but still, she knew enough to think that her daughter might be better off staying up here in the apartment, for the moment anyways. “Are you sure you want too?” she wondered. Even though she knew it was not rush hour, still there would be people down in the restaurant and they might take her daughter’s presence with interest. After all, she and Jeff had lived through the speculation over the last three months.

Especially after Callie showed. And with how Liz had left their town.

It made tongues wag.

Liz knew she needed to show her face. She also knew people would know she was back. Roswell is way too small to keep something like my arrival quiet for long she knew. She had not had the energy to deal with the hordes the night before, but she was a little less tired, and a little more with it. “I have to face the town sometime,” she sighed. “It might as well be now,” she allowed. The memories are not going to leave anytime soon if I don’t face the music and go down, she thought. “If I am going to deal with everything that has happened, then I need to make the first step.”

Nancy nodded.

“I promise I won’t stay long,” Liz smiled. “Dad is down there,” she asked of the fact that nearly every moment the restaurant was open, her dad would be found in the restaurant. Minus the last few days, she thought. “He can keep an eye on me.”

“Oh honey,” Nancy murmured.

“Mom, I will be fine” Liz sighed. “I have to do it sometime. I have to get out of the apartment. And might as well when the crowds are not flying into restaurant.”

Nancy knew this was truth. I guess so…

“If it’s too much, I will come up” Liz sighed. “This will help me…” If you say so Liz.

“I guess,” Nancy sighed. Even though she was not so sure as she watched her daughter head for the door, and the stairs downstairs.

*

Downstairs,
The Crashdown,

Fortunately for Liz, it definitely on the slow side down in the restaurant. But Jeff Parker was still on duty. It was the period between lunch and the end of the school day for the high school crowd, so there were not that many people paying for food. But that did not mean his duty shirked, because it did not. The restaurant was his passion. It gave him purpose. When so much was much dicier when he was younger. Sure, it had begun as something to put a roof over his family’s head once he had married Nancy, and they were expecting their daughter.

But he found it was something he was good at.

And opening his own establishment soon followed. As he found it easy to operate the restaurant when so much of the town’s tourism focused on the alien trade. People will always want to believe he found out early. And because his mother had made it a life’s mission to discover the undiscoverable and look at what was under the soil at times. It seemed like it made sense. And it was a good living.

Although like any time, when you are devoted to the tourist trade. Especially when you reside in a small town, and there is only so many people who live in town. It can be slow, and he remembered how he thought that maybe the restaurant would not survive back when his daughter was in high school. Senior year had been a tough one, for both my Lizzie, and me he would acknowledge now. People were not coming around as often as they were before…

But then his daughter’s disappearance and the escapades at the Class of 2002 Graduation ceremony brought the rumors once more, and it got out the seekers, and those slow days before the ceremony ended, and soon the money was coming in again.

Except his daughter was not around.

Because she had escaped town with her boyfriends, and her friends. There was so much he did not know of that time. All he knew for six weeks; he and Nancy had not know where their daughter was.

Until something happened, something to do with the government.

Sure, I hear the rumors. I get them. But given the town we live in, and the restaurant I run he thought. You don’t actually have to believe it, right?

It is a way to make money he knew. You tune everything else out.

But he could not deny the two and half years before his daughter disappeared were strange ones for himself and his wife. When their daughter, so upstanding, and on the cusp of an outstanding life, and career, seemed to turn into someone they did not know.

Most of the time, it was easy to blame her boyfriend. Like any normal parent.

Max Evans.

Because on the outside, it was easy enough to do it. Because to the mere mortal, when your daughter is breaking into convenience stores, and “robbing” them, and being thrown into a jail cell.

It’s easy to blame the boyfriend who had morphed into wearing black leather jackets and wearing a sullen look on his face Jeff thought.

Because he had known the look anywhere, because it stokes memories of his own life. And that meant nightmares, because he swore when he and Nancy had married, that he would never repeat those days. They would be able to raise their child in a more structured environment than the one he lived in, and it had worked.

For fifteen years, and then everything changed.

And Jeff was left helplessly watching as his daughter walked down a very similar path, and repeated old sins. It should not have happened again he muttered to himself.

But fortunately, his daughter was able to get out of it, but it was close he knew.

Too close.

But then she had disappeared. And the rumors started up. Looking at the Evans family, it was obvious that they knew more than they could let on.

Then his daughter’s journal came.

And he was let in, on some of it.

But still there was so much he did not know, because of the blank pages in his daughter’s book.

But then she was back within six weeks, and it was easy to ignore the statements in her daughter’s journal. Sure, I believed some of it he would think. But so much was outlandish, and it was hard to believe.

Even living in this town he thought.

Easy to cater to someone who is wanting to believe than to actually believe in it. So, it was easy to turn the other cheek and going back to ignoring what he had learned. Especially once his daughter and Max officially broke up, and she moved on to furthering her education away from Roswell.

Little did he know or understand the complexities involved, until recent times he would acknowledge. But even then, he would not know what it all meant. As the door the restaurant opened its doors, and a familiar face came through.

With her long blonde hair, “Hey” Jeff said softly. “You look like you just woke up?” he asked of his daughter’s best friend.

“I did” Maria smiled as she felt a tired. “Late night,” she muttered because after dinner with the kids, and a visit with her returning best friend. Without her husband to go home too, she had gone to work. Not that she had done much at the bar, but still, she kept an eye on things even though those she had trusted were doing an excellent job. But it kept her busy until closing, and she dragged herself home, and into bed.

And now she had just woke up herself…

“Need something to eat?” Jeff asked.

“Sure,” Maria murmured. As she and Jeff walked to a table, and she sat down. Jeff handed her a menu. And since it’s now a decade past her days of working this establishment, she was passed knowing the menu by heart. Although most of it stuck to the same traditions that it was back when she was a waitress.

The usual suspects.

But there were differences.

Of course, there had to be. Life moves on she thought. But she knew Jeff tended to stay with what worked, “Eggs, hash browns, and orange juice” she said with a smile. Knowing it was too early to put anything in that juice. “No need to stock me up with tabasco sauce,” she said with a smile. “I am not expecting Michael” she said with a laugh.

A laugh which was what Jeff would give because it was well known that a certain population of their town seemed to drink the sauce like it was being discontinued. And he definitely knew how much he needed to stock up on once it became apparent that Michael, Isabel and even Max was well known for their like of the substance. But it was not something that either his daughter liked much, or Maria. “Sure,” Jeff nodded with a laugh at Maria’s added sentiment. “I have not had to put a hefty new order in lately,” he said with a laugh. “Just an ordinary one,” he smirked.

“Michael has been busy” Maria said with a sigh because she knew exactly why her husband was busy. Too busy to come into the restaurant unless she needed a pickup after a late shift at the bar. And the ability to spend some time together.

Jeff nodded. “Business is picking up?” he asked of Michael.

“You can say that” Maria smiled.

“Gotcha,” Jeff nodded, getting that it was something Maria was unable to talk about. “Call me, if you need anything more.”

Maria just sat and watched as the backdoor open, and she was surprised to see her friend come through.

Alone.

Jeff noticed and stopped in his place.

The talking around the restaurant, as little as it was. Also stopped in its place.

*

Maria was surprised. Simply because her best friend was not looking like herself. She did not think she had ever really seen her friend looking the way she was. In an old sweatshirt, sweats that is not the look I typically would see my friend in she thought of the history they shared together. Going back to their childhoods.

Not that I want to think back all those years she sighed because it would concede that she was getting older. Even though she was only 28 years old. She still had a lot of life to go, hopefully.

Because one could not guarantee anything in this life she knew. Not after we lost Alex before he turned eighteen.

And now the mayhem that had been hitting our group this past couple of months she thought as she thought of Max.

So, no you could not count on anything. Everything is a crap shoot and could end at any time. So, Maria had been learning that lesson and yet still she had not remembered seeing her friend the way she was, even when we were young.

Liz was never this old fashion in her wardrobe. “Wow,” she whispered to herself as Liz saw her best friend and nodded and walked towards her. “Maria?”

“I don’t think I ever saw you in one of those before?” Maria asked at the sight of her best friend looking so ordinary.

“What?” Liz asked.

“In that kind of sweatshirt,” Maria commented of piece of clothing with Northwestern blazoned on it. Because it was also a reminder to Maria that she had not gone to university, while her friend had been able to get out of this town. Not that Maria did not regret the chance not to go university, and the choices she had made. She did not. I have no regrets she thought. Even if there were those moments where she wondered what her life might have been like if she had chosen a different path to take.

But she was happy. She had Michael in her life, and she did not live with regrets.

And that was probably because she could see the regrets in the eyes of someone else precious to her.

“Oh,” Liz said. This old thing she muttered to herself. “I wore it a lot when I was in school,” she sighed. As she recalled how she tried to be a typical college student once she had left Roswell and headed for school. She tried to be someone different. To have the experience she had left Max to achieve. No one knew the Liz Parker from Roswell, New Mexico who was nearly thrown in prison for robbing a convenience store in Utah she thought. Or had a nearly three-year intense odyssey with a living and breathing alien from outer space she told herself. I could be a new version of myself she thought, the one I thought I would be before that September day. “When I had to study, and care for Callie. I was not very stylish all the time.”

“You were, when you were here?” Maria said softly.

“Well, I was different when I was here” Liz muttered. I am different she conceded. She did not know what she felt like right now. So, she did not know what kind of person she was. Because everything was in flux.

And she did do in flux well.

Not on your life Liz knew. Usually, I need my life to be in order, because when I am out of control, well, you could not guarantee what would happen. “I just woke up, and I threw it on” she sighed as she looked at the clock. “What are you doing here?”

“I only just rolled myself out of bed,” Maria said softly. “Late night.”

“Really?” Liz asked. “I think I slept a long time,” she said as she checked the time on the wall, and it confirmed that she had. Time flies when you are asleep and ignoring the pain of the real world.

“Must be nice,” Maria smiled. “But I headed to the bar.”

“Oh,” Liz said as she knew what her friend was doing for a living. It was the different side of life I had expected for her she thought because she knew she always saw her friend making something out of herself, and maybe music. But she had not expected it to be like this. “I should see that place one of these days.”

“You don’t have to rush,” Maria smiled. “It will be waiting…”

“Yeah, I guess” Liz nodded.

“How are you doing?” Maria asked. Without a small little girl watching them, they were now alone. And able to be real with each other. Assuming they could be real with each other, and neither were sure if they could.

“Because I was in that hospital?” Liz asked.

“No,” Maria shook her head. “Just how are you? You have been keeping yourself quiet,” she said of the fact they had barely talked in the last three months.

“You have not tried to call, when I was home, that was…” Liz sighed.

“I did call in the beginning…” Maria murmured.

“But the calls stopped,” Liz muttered.

“Well, you were not returning them” Maria sighed. “And when we did talk, the conversations were quick and to the point.” she would think as she also knew it had been hard to call because of what she had known and was keeping from her best friend. If we were only upfront with Liz maybe the situation would not have gotten to this point.

But Maria did not know what the situation was.

Now…

Or back then, it was trying to make it to the next day. Of the pact made to keep the truth from her best friend, but now she had to acknowledge the fallout of that decision. “So, I took the hint.”

“I wanted to move on” Liz said softly. “I needed time.”

Maria nodded.

“And plus, I wanted you to be happy,” Liz sighed. “You had your bliss with Michael, and I did not want to get in the middle of that,” she sighed. I could not be in the middle of it she thought of her mental state of the time, it was just so easy to let the calls lapse. “I needed time to figure out what was going to happen next.”

“How did that work out for you?” Maria asked.

“Lousy,” Liz admitted. “I cracked up.”

“You could have called you know…” Maria said. Unsure of what to say. “I can see why you would not want your mother and father to know, because they would be worried about you, and insist that you come back here, but I could have helped you…”

“As I said, you and Michael were happy. You have your life. The bar and being newlyweds. I did not need you coming to in Bethesda and making sure I kept my job, and I did not crack up. I didn’t want that for you.”

“I understand, but aren’t we friends, you would have done it for me. Michael would have understood” Maria murmured as she knew she was treading on dangerous grounds. “You know you would have come and help me if the reverse would have happened…” she said but stopped because she was aware of the tricky terrain that she was on because of what she knew and what she was keeping from her best friend. But she hated to admit to herself the fact that her best friend had basically cut off herself from Roswell had basically allowed several particular secrets to be kept. And therefore, she was feeling awfully guilty about what that freedom had allowed to do.

Keep quiet.

“I needed you to be happy,” Liz muttered. Something had to be make sense she told herself. Even if it was Maria and her love for Michael, and the fact they were able to marry. Which was something she had not been able to achieve with Max, because of my selfishness she muttered to herself now. If only she mused, yeah, if only could be said about most of the situation they were in. Even if all parties did not know all the particulars yet. Which is something Liz did not know, so she was in the part of the story she did know. “I did not want you to get dragged into my messy life” she sighed. “And plus, once I made the decision to send Callie here to stay with my parents, I needed you to keep an eye on her,” she sighed. “Because there were only so much my parents could do with a growing girl who is becoming more mischievous with time.”

“Which I gladly did” Maria allowed.

“Thank you,” Liz murmured. “And I do appreciate it.”

Maria could only sigh. “You would have done the same for me, if it was called for” she murmured with acknowledgement of their close bond. A bond that had been fraying over the last months. She wished it was not, who knows what is going to happen now that she’s back she thought. “But I am glad you came back.”

“It is not like I had much of a choice,” Liz muttered. “No job” she said. “Which means I would be broke in a matter of weeks, months” she said because she had been told that Max’s estate was still tied up. I don’t know why but I trust that I will be notified in due time she thought even though she did not want to have to depend on that money. “And I did not want that life for Callie.”

“You think Yvonne was responsible, huh?” Maria asked. Saying what no one was saying but was being thought by her friend.

“I know she was responsible,” Liz muttered.

“That bitch” Maria said without thinking.

“Well, I did sleep with her husband” Liz muttered. Not that she was very happy to have to admit that Max had been someone else’s husband. “And that he would leave me more money than she got when he died. So, naturally, she wanted revenge, and she chose to get it, and therefore, she decided to be creative with my boss, creative enough that even my mental health excuse could not save my job,” she thought as she still could not believe that Max would choose to leave her the money. Oh Max, she muttered to herself as she struggled not to think of the man she loved and lost, it’s so damn painful she thought.

As she had not turned down the inheritance because she knew it was what Max would have wanted.

God Petunia Maria murmured of the crappy lot that was her best friend’s life.

“So, even though my father did not give me a choice. I figured I had to come back here” Liz said softly. “At least until I figure out where to go next…”

“Do you know what you are going to do next?” Maria asked.

“Hell no.” Liz muttered. “But I am out of here the first moment I am able too,” Liz said. “Callie and I can find a new dream together somewhere else,” she sighed at the quandary she was in because she had no idea what dream was going to be. But she needed one so that she could put a roof over her daughter’s head, as well as hers.

Maria said. “You don’t want to stay here?”

“No,” Liz said quickly and simply. “Max is not here…”

And never will be here again… she could not help but think.

[totallizfan]

Liz will have that inheritance money to help kick start her new life when she's ready.
I hope Maria will tell Liz the secret soon.
Liz is fortunate to have the support of her family and friends.
I hope Yvonne stays away.

[Parker1947]

No, he was not. So, it was a hell of a situation. And Maria knew this. She of course absolutely hated the secrecy pact that she was under, but she had to listen to others who insisted this was the only way, sure, I doubt this is the right decision, and she had fought it, and she knew in any ordinary time, she might have gone against her husband’s wishes. But I cannot do it with Jim she thought of her stepfather, who was not any ordinary person in town. Because he was town Sheriff. And they needed to be doing this for the sake of the situation.

This crappy situation.

But it might be the only way.

We don’t have a Plan B.

Or not yet anyways…

So, it meant that Maria had to keep it a secret, but she did not know how much longer she could keep it. Now that Petunia is back here, who knows what will happen now she thought. And it was not like anything had happened in the last three months, nope, Yvonne is staying gone.

Normally she was quite fine with the idea of Max’s wife vanishing from their shores. But she sensed the situation was complicated. It might get worse if my cousin has his way she thought because still she did not think Sean was helping the situation. But again, it was not her decision. She had not chosen it, and she could not change it.

Because Jim wanted it this way. And she knew her mother supported it, even if her mother was not up on the whole situation.

Because it was limited knowledge.

She even thought that her husband did not necessarily agree with this one. But because of the past, it was not like Michael could choose the battle in which they could listen or not to the town Sheriff

Because of the power balance and because of the existing battle that was already murky.

And Michael Guerin definitely knew this from where he was standing. Currently, outside a hotel room. After its door was slammed in his face. Which meant this was a whole new game plan he would be having to deploy, and he could not gather where it was going to go now.

Because he had told the truth.

To the one person who needed to know, but the truth was always going to land badly given what they kept from Liz. And now the person behind the door was being filled in, and like Maria had warned her husband. The person reacted badly.

Maria will say that she told me so… Michael thought.

And she would…

But Maria is not here Michael though as he had to deal with this situation all on his own. But enough of their conversation already would tell that this was not going to be a good thing. But he had to deal with it. Manage it somehow. “Come on, let me in,” he declared as he knocked on the door once more. “You know why this was the way it had to be, so let me in.”

But the door was not opening. Come on, he moaned at the closed door.

Which was stubbornly not opening.

So, Michael resorted to his usual method of getting into places he was not wanted. It does wonders for my chosen career he would think because it was such an easy way of getting answers. If I am not wanted somewhere, I can still get in so of course he was able to use it today, as he went to work on the door.

I might not have the abilities of some of those I am close too he thought of Max, and Isabel, but it did not meant Michael was defenceless, because he still had his abilities. He just did not have any that called his own that were distinctive.

“You know you were never going to keep my out of here, you know” Michael muttered.

“You can go to hell…” came the voice.

“I am sure I am going to hell by the end of my life,” Michael smiled. “Or whatever place we call our version of hell,” he said of the distinctive side to himself that was very different from the normal human being.

“You should have told me…” the voice muttered as he stood with his arms crossed.

Any other day, the man in question could be described as even keel. Because he was pretty easy mannered. Despite all going on his life Michael would think. But there were moments where he could be set off, and this was one of them. Which is Michael was worried about. We all were worried about it. Which is why I was sent he knew as he tried to manage this situation so that it did not get out of control.

Good luck Michael…

“I did, just now” Michael muttered.

“Well, it was way too late,” the voice murmured.

I do concede that Michael knew. “But it does not change the situation,” Michael sighed as he saw the man looking at the door. “Look, I know you want to go back, but you cannot until we have more of the situation under control.”

“The situation is not under control,” the voice would mutter. “It is completely out of control,” said the voice. “Because you lied to me…”

“I did not lie to you,” Michael muttered. “I just did not tell you what was going back in Roswell” he said softly. “Because if I did, then we both know what you would have done.”

“Which is exactly what I will be doing” came the voice.

“Hell, you will” Michael muttered. “Last thing we need for you to be doing is for messing up what we are trying to accomplish,” he said softly. “Think of those you love. Back in Roswell. And stop what you are thinking of doing.”

Nice try buddy…

*

Yes, good luck Michael at preventing the outcome everyone was fearing once it became clear that Liz had been struggling, and the word travelled to the town that Michael currently was visiting. But now back in Roswell, Liz and Maria had been sharing a very late breakfast. A version of a brunch, and they were talking.

About everything other than the past.

Because that would get them nowhere…

And it had been good for Liz to talk to Maria again. Something that she had not been able to do for the past three months or so, because both have been keeping radio silent for different reasons. None of them that were looking good in this day and age. But it was good for Liz to be able to do because she knew how closed off, she had kept herself.

Even before going into the hospital.

But once she had been there, there was no reaching out. Because she had not wanted to come back to her hometown. But now she was back, and she had to figure out what came next. Because everything was different. Nothing was the same as it was.

I wish it could be like the olden days Liz muttered to herself as the plates were taken away and it left Liz and Maria at the booth. Jeff was watching over them, and Liz could feel her father’s eyes on their table.

She knew Jeff was concerned for her.

Maybe I am a little concerned about myself she told herself. And maybe I should be because she did not know what could come next. But this day one she sighed as she looked at the clock. Time is moving on she knew.

Maria could see the weight on her friend’s shoulders.

And she felt some on her own.

She did not know either how this was going to end up good for her friend. But that thought was put out of her head when the door the restaurant opened, and in walked someone important to the both of them. Most importantly to Liz, maybe seeing Callie can help Liz she asked as she saw the mini me version of her friend walk in.

Sure, Callie did not look like Liz. But she is Liz.

“Mommy,” Callie cried as she came running as she was relieved to see her mother awake and down in the restaurant. “You are awake.”

“I had to wake up sometime,” Liz smiled. “How was school?” she asked. “Heard it was a short day,” she asked of her daughter.

“Yes, it was,” Callie said. “Teacher’s meeting or something like that. I was at a friend’s place.”

I am glad she is making friends Liz thought as she looked at the smiles on her daughter’s face. Which was the opposite of what had been on Callie’s face when last they were last together, back in Bethesda. “Your grandmother was telling me that,” but she did not tell me which friend it was but now Liz could see who it was…

Both Liz and Maria could see which friend it was.

Uh oh Maria sighed.

“Hello, Ella” Liz said softly as she looked at Max’s daughter.

Ella Evans

*

A vision of her father. At least that what Liz would think. Even though the child tended to favor her mother, and even her aunt. Still, there was a large part of her father in the little girl. And at the moment Liz swore she could see Max in Ella’s eyes. And on this day. Ella was alone. Her brother was at a swim practice. And with both of her grandparents busy, she and Callie decided to come to the Crashdown for a snack while Ella waited for her aunt to pick her up.

Because Isabel was busy with the boutique that she had opened a number of years before, called Desires where she specialized in finding the right outfit for the right person. She had a special talent. A knack for it. As she was getting older, her niece Ella figured she knew how her aunt was able to cater to her clients with such expertise. But it was a subject that was not discussed at home.

Because she and Noah had learned early that they might have special gifts, but to be careful with highlighting them to the general public. And it was not like she and Noah did not know they were special, and to be careful, but they were good at being careful, and plus, its not like during the last three months that they wanted to be all that showy.

Because they knew they were being talked about. But all she knew was she missed her father. She and Noah did not know why the last three months had happened the way they did. She knew her family, which included her grandparents and aunt were protecting her and Noah, but she sensed there was something more.

But until she was told the truth, she knew what her desire was.

She wanted her father back in her life.

She was too young to be an orphan. She hated how people were looking at her. So, Callie coming to town had been good for her. Because Callie did not look at her like she was curious. Callie just wanted a friend. So, it gave her a friend who while she might not have known her father, both knew Callie was good at giving the young girl a distraction. Both girls were a diversion for each other. And they had become good friends as a result.

Despite the circumstances of their parents, which was not talked about in front of two youngsters. Even if the girls knew something had been going on. They were too perceptive not too. Even Callie.

Noah sometimes would make it a grouping of three musketeers, but mostly it would just be Ella and Callie.

Like today.

But as they opened the door, they had seen Callie’s mother and godmother Maria talking. And Callie’s face had lit up.

Ella’s face turned into a frown, because she wished she could run into her father’s arms like Callie was able to do with her mother. And she saw how Liz Parker had looked at her, like she was seeing a ghost.

Ella knew that was because of her father.

Because Ella was not stupid. She knew the gossip. She knew the talk. Sure, she and Noah might not understand the complexities of it, but they got enough of it at age nine. And therefore, she knew Callie’s mother was grieving over her, father.

I guess it is good someone else is grieving for Daddy Ella would think. Because too much of the town were not looking at it like Ella was…

Or Noah was.

Only her grandparents, and Aunt Isabel could understand but Ella knew something was up with the older generation. They aren’t telling me and Noah something she thought. The nine-year-old knew something was brewing, and she had a kernel of understanding maybe, just maybe she thought. But she did not know how to talk about what she knew.

And now she saw someone who was clearly grieving for her father.

Ella liked knowing that.

“Hello, Ella” came Liz’s voice as the older woman came back to reality. Forcing Ella to come back to reality too.

“Hello Ms. Parker” Ella said softly.

“You can call me Liz,” Liz said softly. “I knew your father. He meant a lot to me.”

Ella nodded, “I know” the small child said. As she knew how her father had felt for Callie’s mother, maybe just not how much they both were thinking, and the unique complexities, and the adult emotions involved. The child did not know any of this. She was going by her gut feeling. But she also understood from the talk her grandparents had given to her and Noah that Callie’s mother was responsible for guarding the trusts that she and Noah would inherit when she was older.

Ella did not care about the money.

She only wanted her father back in her life.

Liz did not too. As she looked at the young girl. Obviously, grieving for her father. And ordinarily, Liz would not like having to remember that Max had moved without her and therefore had children of his own. But in this case, seeing Ella now. She felt relief.

Relief that there was someone left of Max.

That Max had not left this planet, without leaving something behind to remember…

Someone that needed to be protected. Because Liz surely knew how easily special memories, and gifts left behind could vanquish in split of a second. And therefore, to Liz now, Ella and Noah were now children that needed to be protected.

Seeing them now, or least Ella for the moment gave her a sense of peace. Which had been very rare in coming over the last three months.

Maria watched the meeting when the phone rang. She did not know what to expect from any of this. No one did. Sighing as she saw who it was from, Damn she thought. “I have to answer this” she said of her phone. As she walked away.

Callie saw her grandfather. “Do you want a milkshake?” she asked of Ella. “I am going to ask Grandpa.”

“Sure,” Ella nodded.

And soon it was only Liz and Ella standing and looking at each other.

Unsure of what to say.

*

Maria knew it was probably not wise to leave Liz alone with Ella. Not because of anything specific. Just the messy nature of the situation. A situation that was only something she knew. No one else does but the call had taken her time, as she could not hang up and not deal with it. Nope, I have to deal with this now she thought. “I could have told you Space boy that this was going to happen,” she muttered into the phone as her husband had called, reporting of his visit with the person who he had gone to visit. “In fact, I did tell you,” she muttered. “You and Jim both, that this was going to be bad.”

Real bad Maria knew. “So, you should not be surprised that he is not taking it well” she muttered.

No one would.

Especially not this person she knew.

“Hand him the phone” Maria muttered. “I’ll deal with it” as she waited for her husband to do what she asked, and she had heard some groans, mutters, and curses What else is new she thought. “Look, this is the last thing we wanted to happen. If you have any hope of getting out of this alive than you better stay there, and we can handle back here” she muttered. “Liz will be better off if you don’t interrupt her healing until we know this situation is over” she said. “Hey, don’t get on my case about our secret keeping, or that I am keeping the truth from my best friend,” she muttered. “Because yes, I am quite prepared to handle her wrath,” she said. “When it comes,” she muttered.

Because she knew it would come.

Sooner than later she also knew.

And she also knew that she probably was not quite ready to handle it. It is never easy when Liz gets mad, she thought. Even though she had not really had that experience before, back in this past. Liz is a pretty easy-going person. She rarely gets mad she thought. While I am more volatile. And I have shown my anger plenty of times.

Liz rarely did.

Maria knew this.

Which is why my Space boy, and I get along so well she thought. And why we took a decade to get married she thought of the underbelly of their love, and all the water underneath. “Let us handle it, and we will get this over and before you know, you can reclaim your life,” she asked. “Liz is fine. And it’s best not interrupt her recovery.”

I don’t necessarily know if she is fine, but she will be Maria thought. One day she thought. She only prayed that it was one of these days. “We will keep an eye on her now that she is back here in Roswell. She might not want to be here, but she is here, now…” she said. “Promise me you won’t do anything rash, okay” she asked as she waited for an answer. “You know if you do, then you could risk all that we are attempting to solve.”

The answer that she wanted was a little too slow in coming, but eventually it did come… “Thank you. Now hand me back to my Space boy” she muttered. “Michael, there, I dealt with it. We both know he’s not that stupid,” she muttered of any worry of something happening. “So, be careful on the drive home” she muttered as she said a few more things to her husband before they called it a conversation.

She wished everything could be different, but she knew until they had justice. This was not going to be ending anytime soon.

Even when we all want it too.

*

Meanwhile

Inside the Crashdown. Liz and Ella were staring at each other. Neither knowing how to handle each other. The child was only eight Liz would be thinking, obviously she does not know I had my birthday Ella would think as they were staring at each other.

Of course not, because Liz did not know much of the last few months. All that she did know was that the twins had moved in with Isabel, and that Kyle was helping out, and that it had put the seriousness of their relationship into supersonic speed. After a decade of going way too slow she thought. But its progress. Liz was happy for Kyle.

And yes, Isabel. Because she knew Max would want his sister to be happy.

And for the children to be raised in a happy home…

Even if it only brought back to the nightmares, and the remembrance of the fact that Max was no longer here for any of them. It is not only me who misses him she knew. She knew his children would.

More than I have a right too Liz knew. But it did not mean she had not dwelled on it over the last three months. So, finally, she broke the impasse. Still, unsure of what to say. But she probably needed to let it be something easy. “Hello Ella.”

Ella nodded at the greeting. “How are you?” the nine-year-old asked as a not totally polite enquiry. “Callie was missing you.”

I know she was Liz thought as she thought of the weight she was placing on her daughter. And she hated it. Because she did not want that for her daughter. She did not want her daughter to have to worry that she might crack. I did crack she knew. But fortunately for Liz in that she had sent her daughter off before she did, so that Callie did not have to witness her meltdown. Even if she did have to witness a lot before she did back here to Roswell.

It did not make Liz happy to know this.

“I missed her too,” Liz said softly, in the tentativeness of the situation. Unsure of what to say, and how to handle this. Because neither of them knew each other well.

“She was worried about you” Ella murmured. She was not used to having a mother to worry about her, because she and Noah had lost their biological mother way too early, and sure they had Isabel, and their grandparents, but it was not the same thing. She did not know if she wished she had a mother to miss her, because it’s not like I have had it. But it would have been nice she thought.

So, she did not know how to respond.

“She does not need too because I am fine…” Liz muttered, knowing that she was trying to make it as if it was the present and that I am a-okay she thought. When she fully knew she had not okay in the past.

Ella nodded.

Acknowledging the strangeness of the situation.

“I miss Daddy” Ella blurted out. Probably because she knew Callie’s mother had cared about her father and would know how she felt.

I miss your Daddy too Liz muttered to herself and said as much. “I miss him too. I know how much he loved you, and your brother” she sighed. “You two meant the world to him,” she sighed as she flashed back to Max telling her of how much he loved his children. It’s not fair.

Max was such a good guy Liz mourned, and obviously a wonderful father as she felt a flutter go through at what she had lost.

But it was not only her, and she had to acknowledged this as she looked at Max’s young daughter. Someone who should not have to be an orphan at her age. Life sucks the older woman would think.

The newly crowned nine-year-old would concur. “It’s not fair,” Ella sighed at how much she missed her father.

“I know it isn’t,” Liz sighed also because she knew full well how unfair the whole situation was. For the last three months she had been thinking of only herself…

And not the others who were missing Max she thought.

“No, it’s not” Liz agreed. Because she definitely did agree with that…

Why does life have to be so unfair…

For falling in love with someone who was so different, I get all these losses she muttered. Including the one I love.

“Can I tell you something?” Ella asked as she broke through the older woman’s thoughts. She figured that Liz would be the right person to unburden herself. She did not know why she thought this, maybe because she loves my Daddy she thought. “If you don’t say anything to my grandparents, or my Aunt?”

Bristling at the notion of secret keeping. I am not the child’s guardian she thought. I cannot make any promises. “I cannot promise that” Liz said. “Unless it’s not something they need to know,” she said. “But if they do need to know, well, they care for you and your brother” she sighed, “And I promised your father that I would look out for you two in my own way.”

“Oh,” Ella muttered.

Liz could tell she was dissuading the child from confiding in her. Which was not what she had wanted to do. “How about you tell me, and then we can decide whether you should tell your family, okay?” she asked.

Ella brightened up at that, even though she did not know if that was a good compromise. But she was nine, so she was not going to be quibble about it. And think again about taking Liz into her confidence. Because she did not know what was thinking, she only knew she had to tell someone and she knew enough to think it was not wise to ask her grandparents, or even her Aunt. Because it was clear she was being kept in the dark about something.

“So, what is it?” Liz asked.

“I don’t know how to say it” Ella murmured. And she did not know…

“What is it?” Liz asked. “It cannot be that hard to say to me. We might not know each other very well, but I know you have a loving family. And your father would be very happy to know you and your brother are doing so well.”

“It’s my father…” Ella murmured in almost a whisper.

Max Liz thought. As she tried to battle the memories of her dark hair mystery man who had taken her heart at age of fifteen. “What about your father?”

“I don’t think he’s dead…” Ella whispered.

Shit…

It took more than a few seconds to think of a reply. One that had any meaning to it. “Of course he’s dead,” Liz murmured. Because as much as she wanted it not to be true, and the last three months had been one long dream. She knew reality, even if it was hard to understand and deal with. For my sanity, I need to deal with reality. “Your father loved you very much and he died to protect to you and your brother…”

He jumped in front of that bullet to save me Liz knew.

And that was a lot of why she had gone down the rabbit hole these past months. He died to protect me.

Instead of living. Like he did senior year.

Vermont Liz cursed.

She had gotten her miracle, and then I threw it away only weeks later. When I could have spent the last decade with him, loving him like he loved me.

And could only love his memory now…

“Ella, your father is gone…” Liz whispered as she was still trying to process the life defining change to her own life. She could not imagine how it would be for Max’s children, who had already lost their mother, and now they had lost their father,

So, it is natural that she would be in denial.

I wish I was Liz thought. And she knew she had been trying to be, for the longest time. Until she finally cracked.

And lost everything.

“Ms. Parker,” Ella murmured.

“I told you that you could call me Liz,” Liz murmured. Not sure she liked the formal title. She might be a mother; she might be a scientist. She might be a doctor. But still was not used to people calling her, and especially someone related to her greatest love.

But it did not mean she wanted to be told that everything was not what she was believing it to be. It is not possible.

Right?

Isabel “Ella” Evans did not know what she was opening by voicing her suspicion. One that was borne from suspicion, and gut feelings more than really overhearing the truth of it. Because the adult knows to try to keep their complex conversation away from the surrounding of small ears, and who love more than anything to eavesdrop.

But it did not mean Ella did not overhear enough to wonder if something was up.

She did not know the nitty gritty of it. Or that she was opening a hornet’s nest by mentioning it in front of Liz.

Ella knew none of this. All she knew was she was a heartbroken young girl with a suspicion but no proof, and she needed to tell someone. And it might as well be the person who probably loved her father as much as she did. “You cannot tell my grandparents. Because they miss Daddy, and I know my Aunt does too. I don’t want them to know what I think I know…”

“What do you think you know?” Liz wondered as she looked at the pint of size version of her greatest love. Max is in there...

“I think Daddy is alive,” Ella murmured.

“Ella, your father died. I was there,” Liz murmured. Not sure she should be saying what she what she wanted to be saying, “that he died in my arms”

So, I know he’s dead she murmured. There can be no repeat of senior year. Which is why her mental health had suffered because it was the one thing she knew for sure.

Unfortunately.

“That is what Grandma and Grandpa tell me, and for the longest time I believed them. And maybe I still do believe them because I know Daddy would not just leave us. Noah does not believe me. He thinks I am being dramatic,” she muttered of her brother’s opinion. She knew her brother missed their father, but he was too easy to believe the company line, yeah really Ella muttered. “I want to believe it. But somehow, I don’t.”

“Honey, your father loved you. And would not have left you without a good reason. And what took him away from you and Noah was a good reason, and you should believe it” Liz sighed. “For the longest time I did not want to believe it either, and that was not for good for me, and it’s not good for you either, because your father would not want that for you or your brother.”

“I know,” Ella muttered. “But my dreams tell me something different.”

“Dreams?” Liz asked.

“Yes, they are special ones” Ella muttered. “I don’t talk about them much because I am not supposed too, because Aunt Isabel says we have to be careful with what we say or show that we are capable of because people might get the wrong impression,” she sighed. “But they tell me something is up,” she mused. “My dreams have come true before…”

Oh god Liz muttered at the thought of Ella and Noah having special abilities. The challenge of being the next generation she knew, but she did not think of it much even though she had gotten them in the first place because of her association with the child’s father. But it was not because it was inherited.

Because it was a side effect of cheating death she would think as she saw the concern on the child’s face, and Liz did not know how to handle it.

She did not know what to say.

“You father is gone” Liz said softly. As she was wondering if she was having to say it so many times was therapy for her to actually believe it.

“I know,” Ella muttered. “But I don’t totally believe it. Because my dreams are telling me that he’s alive…” and they won’t quit she muttered to herself.

Oh god Liz could only shake her head…

But then something drew her to the fact that someone was watching them. Because she had been so immersed in the conversation with Ella that neither of them really realized that they were still in the restaurant or remembered that Maria had walked away to take a call.

But now she was back.

And it was clear she had overheard, and from the expression on Maria’s face told Liz all she needed to know. Ella had hit on something.

And she did not even know it. She only believed that it was her dreams trying to convince her not believe in something.

But Liz was different.

She was a grown up. Even though she did not want to be, I wish I could back when I was a teenager and falling in love with Max she sighed. When everything was so new, and life was so different.

But of course, there were obstacles to that new love. And an extreme path that had been rocky, and she wanted not to deal with it, and wanted to be a grown up she thought. Now I want to be a teenager.

But then being a teenager had been no bargain either because those three years of nightmares, and distance and a lot of angst. Now, she was looking at her best friend, so called best friend she would muttered to herself.

“Maria?” Liz asked, a little accusatory.

“What?” Maria asked, even though she knew the show was over. Because she knew her friend was too smart. She knows too much she thought. As she looked at the young girl, so oblivious. So unaware.

Yeah, what?

[totallizfan]

Well Max is alive...good.
This might not go well for Maria.
It's been a few months since Max and Liz slept together. He got two other women pregnant.
Did he finally wake up to the fact that you should use protection.
Liz seems more like herself. Being with family seems to have helped.