Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) Complete

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Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) Complete

Post by RoswellOracle » Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:20 pm

Winner Round 12



TITLE: Mind of an Artist

AUTHOR: RoswellOracle

RATING: Adult for language and sexual situations

CATEGORY: U/C L/Z – Liz’s POV - AU - no aliens

REPOSTING: Please ask permission before reposting. I like to know where my story is going to live.

FEEDBACK: Feel free to send e-mail feedback to the contact link. Corrections are appreciated and all questions will be answered as quickly as possible.

DISCLAIMER: Roswell, the characters and the story, are owned by Melinda Metz, Jason Katims and Fox Studios (although the way they have abused them I don't think they deserve them) and are used here purely for entertainment purposes.

Any additional characters or situations not mentioned in the show are the creation of my dementia.

This is the fifth story in the ‘Artist’ series. It’s not necessary to read the others first but this one will make more sense if you do. Here are links to the other four.
Hands of an Artist
Body of an Artist
Eyes of an Artist
Mouth of an Artist

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This story switches back and forth from Liz’s POV (in regular type) to Zan’s POV (in italics).

****Yes, I am alive! I know some of you were starting to wonder. I'm going to try to update weekly. So keep your fingers crossed!****


Part 1


(New York City)

It has been just over four months since I moved in with Zan, and I have never been happier in my life.

He loves me so much, and I love him with all my heart. Although he is completely different than anyone I’ve ever known in my sheltered life, he is perfect for me, and I’m so lucky to have found him. He’s so wonderful; sexy, talented, handsome, a beautiful, hard body, and a quick, active mind.

As a matter of fact, Zan’s mind is one of the sexiest things about him.

He is one of the smartest people I have ever known. It doesn’t matter that he never attended college. He is interested in everything, reading constantly, and he keeps up on current events as well as popular culture. He has an opinion on almost any subject, and can discuss it intelligently. He continually surprises me with what he knows.

We often sit and just talk for hours. And not only does Zan talk to me, but he listens too.

He listens to everything I say about my likes, my wants and dreams, and he remembers. He pays attention to everything about me, and he always remembers even the smallest details.

Zan wants the best for me, but he wants me to be my own person. He supports me in everything I do, and he is always looking for ways to make me happy.

He is so thoughtful. He tries to make my life outside school as simple and easy as possible so I can concentrate on my studies. He keeps the house clean and does most of the shopping. He often cooks for us, or orders food in. And when I have free time he always has something planned to help me relax.

And no, it isn’t always sex. He takes me to movies, plays, galleries, and restaurants. We go on picnics, and walks, anything we can do together.

Of course there is sex too.

A lot of sex.

Even though we’ve made love more times than I can remember, I never get enough of him, and I know I never will. Not only does Zan satisfy me every time, but everything about him makes me want him. He is so damn sexy, his hard body, the way he holds me, how much he loves me. And he is so inventive about places and positions that sex always seems new and exciting. He is constantly thinking up new ways to please me, to romance and seduce me.


It has been four months since Liz moved in with me, and they have been the best four months of my life.

I knew Liz was the one for me the moment I saw her, and I’ve never been more right about anything. She is wonderful; sweet, smart, beautiful and sexy, and we are perfect together.

At first I was worried I’d moved too fast, pushing her to move in with me. I wanted her so much that I couldn’t help myself. I knew she wanted me too, but somehow it seemed like she couldn’t just slip away if I had her under my roof, and in my bed.

Since she has been with me, I do everything I can think of to make sure Liz is happy, and has no reason to want to leave. She works hard at school, and I help her all I can. And when she has free time I love giving her new experiences.

And no, I am not just talking about sex, but the sex is fucking great. We want each other all the time, and I’ve never had better. Liz was innocent when we met, and in a lot of ways that is still true. But she is a wildcat in bed, adventuresome, and the sex is the best I’ve ever had because we love each other.

And I love making her cum. I love the sounds she makes, the way her body arches into mine, the way she holds me so perfectly inside, the expression of uninhibited pleasure on her face. I bring her to climax again and again just so I can experience her every sensation.

I want Liz to know nothing but pleasure and happiness with me. Of course not everything is perfect between us, but my greatest desire in life is making sure she is happy and fulfilled in every way.

It was Monday, and I was between semesters at school, and Zan was taking the opportunity to show me more of the city.

We’d spent the morning at a gallery, and had lunch at a bistro afterward. And then he took me to an enormous bookstore.

I’d never seen anything like it. There were several floors with twisting rows of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. It was incredible, and normally I would have been able to spend hours looking through the selections. But all day Zan had been driving me crazy.

He had hardly taken his hands off me, touching me every chance he got.

As we wandered through the gallery, he caressed the exposed skin of my arms, making me shiver with awareness. His hands smoothed over my shoulders, stroking my neck, his thumb tracing my hairline. Whenever we stopped to look at a painting, he pressed his hard body to mine, occasionally slipping his hand under my shirt to move over my back.

At lunch he’d continued touching me, stroking down my arm, drawing circles on my knee with his thumb. He’d given me smoldering looks across the table, holding my eyes, telling me so eloquently without words exactly what was on his mind.

My desire had been building slowly all day, fueled by his constant caresses. And when we finished lunch, I was flushed and shivering with arousal, craving his touch and his possession. We left the restaurant, I thought we would go home to make love, but Zan took me to the bookstore.

In the cab he wrapped an arm around me, settling me against his side, nuzzling my neck, as his hand occasionally brushed the side of my breast. His other hand traced over my knee, lightly drawing circles over my jeans, following my leg up dangerously high. And when he was sure the driver wasn’t watching, his fingers would stroke over my clit.

By the time we arrived at the bookstore, I was going insane with desire for him. My whole body pulsed, my heartbeat and breathing were fast, and my core was soaking wet. I literally felt like I was going to combust if I didn’t have him.

“I know you’ll want to see the used books,” he rumbled. “They have tons of out of print books in the back. I’ll show you.”

He kept his arm around me as we moved through the store, holding me close to him. I could feel his solid body, feel his muscles flexing as he walked. It made me picture his beautiful nakedness, as he thrust into me, every one of his sculpted muscles working together to bring me to climax.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and attempted to concentrate on the books around us, but it was impossible being so near to Zan. Everything was making me think about sex.

As we walked through the art section I saw a book on sculpture, the cover showing an abstract form, but the lines and contours reminded me of two lovers entwined.

I gripped Zan a bit tighter as we continued through History, Biography, and Hobbies.

Down the Home Improvement aisle, I noticed a book on bathroom remodeling, and thought about all the times Zan and I had made love in the huge, jetted tub in our own bathroom.

I turned my head toward Zan and took a deep breath. His scent surrounded me, overwhelmed me, just like it did when we were making love. A rush of desire ripped through me. I felt so hot, but I was shivering, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath.

Fiction, Sci-fi and Horror went by in a blur.

In the Mystery aisle, the title of a book jumped out at me, James Patterson’s The Quickie.

Oh hell!

I wanted Zan so much! I needed him!

Every inch of me seemed to vibrate, but at the same time I felt like I was melting.

Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore. The next empty aisle we walked past, I grabbed the front of his shirt, and used my body weight to turn him around the corner and press him against the bookshelf.

Standing on tiptoe, I fitted my body to his, and kissed him hard.

A growl left him as he grasped my head, taking control of the kiss. His hand moved down my back, arching me against his erection, as his tongue thrust into my mouth.

Feeling his hard length against me, made me desperate for him. My nipples drew to tight points and my core pulsed with need. I wanted to rip his clothes off and have him right there. I wanted to devour him, but after a too brief moment he pulled back, breaking the kiss.

A crooked grin lit his face. “Not that I am complaining, angel,” he rumbled, “but what brought this on?”

I used to be embarrassed about initiating sex, but Zan has been so patient, coaxing me to ask for what I want. He is always so receptive, that I feel much more at ease, and hardly even blush anymore.

I couldn’t help myself and pressed a kiss to his neck. “I want you,” I whispered, breathing hard. “Right now.”

His smile widened. “I was trying to be patient,” he growled. “I wanted you to have a normal day,” he explained. “A day that wasn’t interrupted by us rushing home for sex.”

I kissed his neck harder. “Zan, I love that we want each other so much. And I’ve never felt like I was missing out on anything.” I nipped at his chin and lifted my gaze to meet his. “We are together, that’s all that matters. I love doing everything with you.”

I felt a blush rise up my cheeks, but I held his eyes as I spoke. “But I must admit, that I especially love the sex.”

He smiled wickedly and brushed a quick kiss to my lips. “Let’s get a cab,” he rasped.

I kept him pressed against the bookshelf with my body, and shook my head. “No,” I whispered. “I can’t wait any longer. I have to have you now.”

Reaching down, I rubbed his erection through his jeans, as I held his eyes. “I need you inside, right now,” I said breathily. “There must be somewhere we can go, somewhere close.”

Zan’s eyes glistened with satisfaction and desire. “Yes angel,” he growled triumphantly. “I know just the place.”

Wrapping his arm around me, he held me tightly to his side. As he started to lead me, he pressed his lips to my head. “Just upstairs baby,” he whispered harshly, “on the top floor they sell CDs, records, cassettes, even 8-tracks.”

I nodded as we climbed the stairs, not really understanding how that helped.

“They have small rooms,” he continued, “where you can shut yourself in, and listen before you buy.”

I smiled. Zan always had the best ideas. “That sounds perfect,” I whispered.

We hurried up the stairs and I was glad to see no one was around. Zan motioned to the rooms toward the back, and as we headed in that direction, he grabbed a few random CDs off a display. I thought it must be to provide us with a cover.

But finally we reached one of the small rooms and all of my thoughts ceased except having him inside.

Zan let me enter the tiny room first, and he shut the door behind us. I heard the lock click as my eyes darted around quickly, taking in the different types of audio equipment on a table and one chair. There was a turntable, 8-track, cassette, CD players, along with headphones, but it barely registered.

Immediately I turned back to Zan, where he leaned against the door. “How do you want me baby?” he growled.

Crossing to him, I kissed him hard, tugging on his shirt and leading him a few steps. I pushed him down onto the chair and straddled his legs.

I pulled back slightly. “Right here, right now,” I ordered, breathing hard.

Sitting on him, I kissed him again, grinding my aching center against his hard length.

Zan’s hand tangled in my hair, holding me to him as he kissed me hungrily. His other hand rested in the small of my back, arching me against his erection. A deep rumbling growl came from his throat as we started to rock together.

Oh, this was what I wanted!

Well, almost.

And suddenly I couldn’t wait any longer. I stood up, breaking the kiss, and quickly unfastened my jeans, pushing them and my panties down my legs.

At the same time, Zan opened his fly, simply freeing his cock, not even bothering to remove his clothes.

Impatiently I kicked off one shoe, and pulled one leg free of my jeans and panties. I didn’t stop for any preliminaries or foreplay, but gripping his shoulders I straddled his legs again, and sank down, taking his entire length inside in one long stroke. “Oh yes,” I moaned, my eyes sliding shut in utter bliss as his velvety hardness filled me. “Oh Zan.”

He gripped my ass, settling me against him. “Mmmmmm baby,” he groaned, as he pressed his lips to my neck. “You feel so good.” He kissed me again. “So warm and wet,” he breathed. “I’ve hardly been able to think of anything else all day.”

I met his lips, and tried to slow down a moment and savor the feeling of him inside. He was big and hard, and pulsing with warmth and life. There is nothing that satisfies me like him filling me. There are times when I think I’ll come from him just pushing inside.

My core clenched around him. He felt so good that a shiver of desire ripped though me, and I couldn’t hold on any longer.

I started to move, and as soon as I felt the incredible friction of his cock inside my soaking passage, I caught fire.

Grasping his shoulders tightly, I moved quickly, grinding my hips against him. I rode him hard, keeping him deep inside, only allowing a few inches to slide in and out. But it was enough.

It was incredible.

“You feel so good, Zan,” I gasped, arching into him.

He held me tightly to him, helping my rhythm. “Fuck yes angel,” he growled.

I was so aroused that it didn’t take me long to approach climax. I moved even more quickly, pumping my hips up and down. Zan grasped my ass with one hand, keeping me steady. His other hand reached between us, going directly for my clit.

He stroked me quickly as my motion became frenzied, and my back arched with the exquisite pleasure. “Zan,” I gasped. “Oh Zan!”

His cock twitched inside me, and a moment later we both flew over the edge. Electricity rushed through me, my body spasming with the power of the release.

I collapsed against him, resting my head on his shoulder as I tried to catch my breath.

Fuck. I had wanted Liz badly all day, but I had intended to wait until we got home to take her. But Liz was the one who couldn’t wait, and it excited the hell out of me.

I was just glad I had remembered this room that allowed my angel to hover over me, greedily taking my aching cock into her soft, welcoming pussy.

We had made love when we woke up, but I’d wanted her again as soon as we left the house. I’d tried to keep my hunger in check, but I hadn’t been able keep my hands off her. And obviously my caresses had set her on fire too.

I kissed and sucked Liz’s neck as we came down, the small taste of her skin making me crave even more. A quick fuck is always good, but I wanted all of her.

I wanted to see her beneath me, watching her body react as I thrust into her. I wanted to feel my body pressed to hers, our sweat-slicked skin sliding together, the hard nubs of her nipples grazing my chest. I wanted to feel her legs wrapped around me, lifting her hips to take me even deeper inside. I wanted to hear the sounds of her uninhibited pleasure, every moan and gasp. I wanted to feel her small hands on my back, her nails digging into my muscles, and gripping my ass, urging me to go faster. I wanted to hear her cry out as I pushed her over the edge.

Shit, I was turning myself on just thinking about it, and my cock stirred inside her.

“Let’s go home angel,” I rasped. “I want you completely naked so I can kiss every inch of you.”

She smiled shyly, holding my eyes, and nodded.

Even though I had just satisfied her urgent hunger, I knew she hadn’t gotten enough of me yet. I could see it in her eyes. She wanted a long, hard ride as much as I did.

“That sounds perfect,” she agreed.

We quickly fixed our clothes, and Zan kept his arm around me as we quickly left the building. When we got outside he playfully turned us around, pulling me close, and kissing me. “Mmmmmm baby,” he said between kisses, “the things I am going to do to you.”

I pressed against him, needing to feel his hard body fitted to mine. “Tell me,” I said breathlessly.

He smiled wickedly, raising his hand to hail a cab. “Well,” he started, but he was interrupted by someone shouting his name.

“Zan,” a male voice called out.

We both turned toward the man as he came jogging over to us. He was about Zan’s age, a bit shorter, with sandy blond hair.

“I knew it was you Zan,” he said as he stopped before us.

He held out his hand and they did some sort of special handshake.

“Hey Danny,” Zan greeted. He held me close as he made the introductions. “This is Liz.”

Zan kissed my temple. “Angel, this is Danny. He was one of my foster brothers.”

I was surprised. Zan never really talked much about growing up, or the foster families he had lived with, and I had never met any of them. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said.

Danny’s eyes raked over us. “Damn Zan, I heard you were doing well. You’re some hot shit artist, lots of money, and a beautiful girl. I always knew you’d make it big.”

I could tell Danny’s words made Zan uncomfortable, but he just shrugged. “I’m doing okay.”

He motioned to Danny with a jut of his chin. “How about you bro?”

“Well,” he drawled, fidgeting, “nothing as impressive as you. I’ve been doing some construction work, and remodeling. I hang out with some of the guys from the neighborhood, Jimmy and Nate. I’m sure you remember them. But I haven’t settled on one girl yet,” he said with a glance at me. “I’m keeping my options open.”

Zan laughed. “That means none of them will have you,” he teased.

I thought I saw a flash of annoyance in Danny’s eyes, but then he laughed, and I knew I must be mistaken.

Even though they weren’t biological brothers, they certainly acted like real siblings. I couldn’t help but smile.

Danny slapped Zan on the shoulder. “Let’s go get a beer. I can get to know Liz better, tell her about you in the old days. Maybe I’ll even try to steal her from you,” he said with a boyish grin.

Zan nodded. “A beer would be great, but Liz and I were just headed somewhere.”

“Oh sure,” Danny said, obviously disappointed. “You’ve got that jet-set lifestyle.” He glanced at me again. “We’ll catch up another time.”

I smiled encouragingly at Danny. I wanted to make love to Zan, but I could have waited until we’d had drinks with Danny. Obviously Zan didn’t want to wait, so I kept silent.

“Yeah,” Zan agreed, “another time.”

Danny left, and I waited until he was out of earshot to ask Zan. “You didn’t want to have a drink with him?”

Zan shrugged as he flagged down a cab. “A choice between having your naked body pressed to mine, or having a drink with him?” He nuzzled my cheek. “That is no choice at all.”


Last edited by RoswellOracle on Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:02 pm, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) 12/17 pt1

Post by RoswellOracle » Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:09 pm

Thank you so much for reading!

Forever dreamer

You guys overwhelm me with your feedback!!
I’m glad you love my Zan as much as I do, but if he were real, I wouldn’t be sharing him around! :wink:


Part 2


When we reached the loft I thought Zan would pounce, ripping our clothes off so we could make urgent love. In the cab his hands had roamed over my body, caressing every inch of exposed skin, like he couldn’t touch enough of me. And in the elevator, he’d pressed me against the wall, devouring my neck until I gasped for breath.

But when we got inside, he simply took me into his arms, holding me tightly.

“I love you so much, angel,” he whispered into my hair.

Sometimes I wondered what a handsome, sophisticated man like Zan saw in me. I’m not anything special, and I have nothing other than myself to offer him.

Zan does so much for me, and I worry that I don’t have anything to give him in return. I worry I don’t do enough for him. And sometimes I wonder what I’ll do when he gets tired of me.

It’s not like he has shown any signs of getting tired of me. Maybe I’m just paranoid. But now that I’ve experienced life with him, I don’t want to live without him.

I hugged him fiercely. “I love you, Zan,” I said. “I love everything about you.”

I wanted Liz, but I wanted to slow down. We both enjoy sex, but I always want her to feel loved. We just had a good fuck, now I wanted to take things a bit slower, to savor Liz and make love to her.

I pressed my lips to her forehead, and then each cheek before gently kissing her soft lips. “Angel, you surprised me so much at the bookstore.”

“Did I?” she asked, genuinely surprised. She reached up to touch my face. “But you liked it, didn’t you?”

“Liked it,” I said, holding her eyes, and smiling wickedly. “I fucking loved it. You have no idea how it turns me on to see how much you want me.”

“I’m glad,” she said throatily, pressing her body to mine. “Because I always want you.”

Shit. I promised myself that I was going to take things slowly, but my angel is making it hard.

Rock hard.

Grasping her ass, I pulled her against me as I took her lips again. I lifted her off her feet and walked us into the bedroom, never breaking the kiss. And setting her down next to the bed, I let my hands start to wander.

Slowly I moved up, slipping my hands under Liz’s shirt, caressing the soft skin on her back. My fingers smoothed across her ribs, and up her spine until I reached her bra. With a twist I released the catch and resumed my exploration.

Liz’s hands twisted in my hair, gripping my neck, holding me as we devoured each other’s mouths. She was standing on tip-toes, pressing her body to mine, like she couldn’t get close enough. And I loved it.

Of course I like a lot of sex, but I love that Liz always wants me as much and as often as I want her. It is just one of the things that make us perfect for each other.

I broke the kiss long enough to lift her shirt over her head, and I quickly stripped off my own. Liz let the straps of her bra slide down and off her arms, exposing her beautiful, creamy breasts to me.

I am always overwhelmed by her beauty, and let my eyes roam quickly over her. The necklace I had given her for our anniversary, swung between her breasts. She always wears it and I was glad. It is, I admit, a mark of my possession as well as my love.

“Angel,” I whispered, reaching for her again, and cupping her cheek, I took possession of her luscious lips.

When it comes to Liz, I feel more like a poet than an artist. I am always looking for words to describe her; the way she moves, and smells, and tastes, how it feels to touch her, to make love to her. And I always feel like I never quite have the right words, so I need to experience her one more time.

I kissed her with slow deep kisses, taking taste after taste. Strawberry. No, peach. No, honey. Sweet, rich, deep, with a hint of flowers.

Gripping the back of her neck, I trailed my fingers through her silky hair. She had let it grow in the months we’ve been together and it was a long, shimmering mass.

I left her lips, and moving down, nipped at her skin; her chin, the edge of her jaw, her throat, her neck. She was salty, but still sweet. The scent of her soap was present, and underneath was still the hint of flowers, but it was all Liz.

She leaned back, giving me better access to her neck, and small gasps escaped her as I licked and sucked my way across her skin. Each sound she made caused my body to harden even more. They were the sounds of her surrender to me, the sounds of the pleasure only I could give her, and they were driving me wild.

Her nipples hardened into tight points that pressed against my chest. I knew she would be wet, and ready for my total possession, and my cock ached to be inside her. I still wanted to take things slow, but I was starting to lose some of my control.

I trailed one hand down her neck, making sure to brush across her breast as I reached for the fastening on her jeans. I had it undone in seconds and hooked my fingers in the top of her panties, pulling both them and her pants down her hips.

Pausing, I took her into my arms, hugging her close. My hands slowly moved up over her ass and across her back, savoring the feel of her pressed against me. Her skin is so soft, like silk, or her favorite white rose petals, and I never get enough of the pleasure of simply touching her.

She shivered with desire, and I pressed a kiss to her ear. “You are so sexy, angel,” I whispered.

I know it embarrasses her a little to hear it, because she doesn’t think of herself as sexy. But that just makes her more sexy to me, and I always want her to know how much I desire her.

Lifting her again, I set her on the bed, and bent to discard the rest of her clothes. I tossed her shoes aside, and shimmied her pants and panties down and off her legs. The spicy scent of her arousal met my nose, and I inhaled deeply, wanting nothing more than to dive in for a long taste.

I stood up, and Liz’s eyes widened with desire as they roamed over my body, lingering on my arms and chest. I was glad she was finally comfortable enough with her sexuality to show her feelings so openly. I kept myself in good shape, but it was especially satisfying to see that Liz appreciated it so much.

Quickly I kicked my own shoes off and with a single motion pushed my remaining clothes to the floor. Her eyes immediately drifted to my cock, and I couldn’t help but smile.

Liz lay back on the bed and spread her legs wide, welcoming me. “Zan,” she breathed throatily, her voice full of desire.

A jolt of electricity shot through me, and I swear I nearly came. I couldn’t stand it any longer, I had to have her body pressed to mine.

Climbing onto the bed, I moved between her legs. I kissed her knee, and then her inner thigh, moving closer to her sweet pussy. Her spicy scent was so intoxicating, and I longed to thoroughly kiss and lick every inch of her, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold on that long.

So instead I satisfied myself with a kiss on her clit, before moving upward. I licked my way up her flat stomach, stopping briefly to dip my tongue into her navel. Slowly I crawled up the bed until I was positioned exactly over her, and then I lowered my hips so our bodies were perfectly aligned. My cock rested against her hot core, and her entire body shuddered with the sensual contact.

Again I tried to slow down, and bent to take her breast into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the rigid tip several times before brushing over it.

A small cry escaped Liz, and her body arched into me. Her fingers threaded into my hair, and she grasped my head, holding me close. Slowly her hips started moving, sliding her slick pussy along my cock, attempting to draw me inside.

Shit, it felt so good!

I kissed her deeply, moving with her, rocking my cock against her. I had to use almost all of my concentration not to just plunge inside her. We moved back and forth for long minutes, kissing hungrily, grinding together. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, stroking hers with the same rhythm as our bodies. And finally it was too much.

On the next upstroke, I angled my hips and pushed just the tip of my cock into her tight passage. I hadn’t meant to take her so quickly, but I just couldn’t wait any longer.

Liz gasped, and I slid completely into her and stopped. Reaching up to touch her face, I met her eyes as I savored the sensations. My angel is always so wet and welcoming, and she holds me so sweetly inside.

“Mmmmm, baby,” I whispered, as my lips met hers. “You feel fucking amazing.”

She smiled, her hands wandered across my back. “Then it’s about time you came inside,” she teased. Her legs wound around me and she grasped my ass. “You’re going to fuck me good and hard now, right?”

“Shit, angel,” I practically choked. I had tried to take things slow, but my angel wanted to fuck. How could I refuse her? Her words severed the last of my control and I started to move.

I could tell Zan was trying to draw out our pleasure, but I really couldn’t wait any more. I ached for him.

I know that nothing turns him on like me talking dirty, so I gave him just a taste. It pushed him into action, and I loved I could break his rigid control.

His first few strokes were tentative, but he quickly found a fast rhythm, and I moved my hips to meet his. “Zan,” I moaned. He always feels so amazing inside me.

My hands roamed over his back, feeling his muscles strain as he worked to bring us both to climax. And with the speed he was pistoning into me, we would be there in no time.

I dug my fingers into his muscles as my body started to tighten. “Harder,” I gasped. “Harder.”

“Yes, baby,” he groaned.

He pounded into me, slamming our lower bodies together. “Oh Zan,” l moaned. “That’s so good.” My legs clamped around him and I angled my hips to take him as deep as possible.

I felt my inner muscles start to flutter, and grasped at his back desperately. Just a few more of his powerful thrusts pushed me to the edge, and then I suddenly came, my whole body spasming.

My muscles clamped down on his cock, and Zan groaned as he followed me, his hips pumping, empting his seed into me.

Finally we stilled, both breathing hard. Zan smiled as he met my eyes, and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “Angel,” he whispered, “you continually surprise me.”

His words caught me off-guard. “Do I?”

“That is just one of the things I love about you,” he whispered against my lips, and then kissed me briefly.

Slowly he pulled out of me, and settled next to me in the bed, pulling a blanket over us, before taking me in his arms. I snuggled in next to him, and lay on his chest, wrapping my arm around him. Zan kissed the top of my head, and gently stroked my back. I was so satisfied I felt almost limp, and my eyes fluttered shut. “I love you, Zan,” I whispered.

I stroked Liz’s back for long moments, savoring the feel of her silky skin beneath my fingers. I listened to the sound of her heartbeat and breathing gradually slowing, and knew she had drifted off. We hadn’t eaten dinner yet, but I would let her sleep for a while.

Everything about my angel is amazing, but there is nothing like the feeling of Liz’s soft, naked body next to mine. Sex is intimate, but somehow sleeping next to a naked Liz seems even more intimate. It means she trusts herself to me completely, and willing placed her life in my hands.

I kissed her head again, inhaling the fresh scent of her hair. Liz is so completely open with her emotions, I never have any doubt about how she is feeling. It made me feel a little guilty that I haven’t been more forthcoming about my past with her.

Seeing Danny brought up all the things in my life I had attempted to leave behind me. And it made me even more sure that in the past is exactly where they did belong.

It’s not like I was a completely different person back then. But growing up in a rough environment didn’t exactly give me the best start. I did things I’m not proud of, but I quickly saw that was no way to live my life. I wanted more for myself. And not just more money, but a better life. I wanted to be a better person.

I started a new life when I left the old neighborhood behind, and worked hard to achieve my goals. But even though I had succeeded, and was reasonably happy, I hadn’t realized how full my life could be until I met Liz. She has made me happier than I ever thought I could be.

She is good and clean, and so innocent about the bad things in the world. And it’s not that I’m trying to hide my past from Liz, but I want to protect her from it. She is my love. My angel.

Everything I’ve done, even before I met Liz, was for her.


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Re: Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) 1/1 pt2

Post by RoswellOracle » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:51 pm

Thanks for all the great feedback! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying.

Forever dreamer
Dreaming In Purple

Yes, some of Zan’s past will be revealed, but not yet.

And I have completely forgotten to thank all of my wonderful friends and betas who helped with this story – Smac, Veronica, Erina, Cassie, Steph & Ellie
Thank you all so much.


Part 3


I awoke the next morning stretching and feeling wonderful.

Zan was still asleep next to me, his warm body against mine. We were on our sides, facing each other, and his arm was wrapped possessively around me.

Last night Zan let me sleep for a couple of hours and when he woke me, he’d had Chinese food delivered, with all my favorites. We ate, and then made love again before going to bed.

He stirred a little as I moved, and I pressed myself even closer to him. Lazily I stroked his skin as I pressed a kiss to his chest.

I wrapped my leg around his, slowly stroking my foot over the wiry hair on his calf. I love touching Zan, and it seems like I never get to do it enough. The planes and curves of his body fascinate me. His skin is so soft, it is a startling contrast to the rock hard muscles it covers.

Zan works out relentlessly, keeping his body strong and hard. He really isn’t into health food, or supplements, or any of the other things I usually associated with health nuts. So I thought there must be another reason he keeps in such good shape. I thought it must have something to do with his past, and how he grew up.

Maybe it made him feel less vulnerable if he was strong and could defend himself. Maybe it was something he could control in a crazy world. Or maybe it was simply a leftover ideal from his childhood. But whatever the reason, I appreciated the results.

Smoothing my hand across his sculpted back, I traced his hard muscles. Zan is definitely a work of art.

I had often thought about Zan’s life before, but because of our encounter with Danny, I had been wondering even more. I had asked Zan about it in the past, but he had only given me vague answers, briefly telling me he was raised in the foster care system. He said it wasn’t worth remembering, but I was sure he must have some good memories. And I was determined to ask about it again.

I kissed his chest, and felt his erection between us. Automatically my core dampened, and my heartbeat increased with a rush of desire. Zan usually woke up hard and horny, and I must admit that I looked forward to our morning sex, even craved it.

Suddenly he lunged forward, flipping me onto my back, and settling between my legs.

I squealed in surprise, and he grinned. “What a nice way to wake up angel, feeling your hands on me,” he rumbled sleepily.

He kissed me lingeringly as his hand started at my neck and trailed down my body. Across my breast, over my stomach, he continued down until he reached my clit and slick lower lips, checking to see if I was ready for him. My body arched up, and he slowly pushed inside.

I gasped as he filled me, my hands clutching at his back. Zan smiled and started moving.

I wanted to talk to him, but that could definitely wait until later.


An hour later we had showered and dressed, and just finished breakfast. I moved around the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, as Zan sipped coffee at the table.

All through breakfast I had considered how to ask him the questions that were filling my mind, and I still wasn’t sure what to do. But I decided to just jump right in.

I approached him with the coffee pot and topped off his cup. “So you never told me about Danny,” I said tentatively.

Zan took the coffee pot from me, and sat it on the table, before pulling me into his lap. “We lived in the same foster home for a couple of years,” he said softly. “But angel, there’s really not much worth remembering from when I was a kid.”

“But your early life wasn’t all bad was it?” I asked, searching his eyes. “You had friends, like Danny.”

With a tilt of his head, Zan gave a small shrug. “Sure I had friends growing up, and there were some good times,” he acknowledged. “But overall, I’m just glad I’m out. I worked hard to get away, and I don’t want to look back.”

He shook his head. “I do talk to a couple of the guys I knew back then, but Danny and I didn’t keep in touch.”

“Well maybe he regrets that,” I suggested. “I mean, you did live as brothers. Maybe he wants to try again.”

One corner of Zan’s mouth lifted in a crooked smile. “Maybe. But I don’t have any regrets.”

He cupped my head, his thumb stroking my cheek, as he held my eyes. “I just want to concentrate on the present and the future, angel. The future with you.”

“Zan,” I breathed. He always seemed to say the perfect thing.

Leaning in, he kissed me tenderly. “You make my life so perfect,” he whispered against my lips.

I smiled. “You’ve made my life perfect too.”


Liz and I spent a relaxing day. After breakfast, we took a walk in the nearby park, and got sandwiches from our favorite deli. Then we went to the college store and bought the textbooks and supplies for her new classes. In the afternoon I painted a little, and she started looking through her books.

I glanced at my watch as I swirled the brush in the edges of the green and black paint on my palette. With thick, short strokes, I applied it to the canvas, barely paying attention to what I was doing as my mind turned over the earlier conversation with Liz. All day I had expected her to ask more about Danny and my past, but she seemed to be satisfied with my answers.

At least for now.

It was inevitable she would ask me about it. I knew her curiosity wouldn’t let it pass unexplained. I just couldn’t believe I’d gotten off the hook so easily this time. I also knew she would ask me again, but that was okay. One of the things I loved most about Liz was her active mind.

I looked over to where she was sitting cross-legged, reading her thick science textbook. She had an expression of concentration and eagerness on her face that made me smile. There is nothing sexier than a smart, beautiful woman.

I dabbed at the palette absentmindedly again, transferring more paint to the canvas.

Of course Liz wanted to know about my past. She loved me, and wanted to know as much as possible. But she doesn’t really understand what she is asking. She doesn’t know how bad things can be, because she grew up in a loving family, in a nice part of town.

My eyes traced the perfect line of Liz’s neck, down her shoulder to her breasts, and I had the urge to paint her. I often sketched her, but it had been a couple of months since I had put her beautiful form on canvas. I’d have to make a portrait of her my next project.

As I looked at her, I felt my cock harden, and couldn’t help smiling. It seems like I’ve had a constant hard-on since the first time I saw Liz.

She turns me on like no other woman ever has.


I looked closely at the canvas and almost laughed. I had started the outline of Liz’s body in the middle of my painting; her naked breast jutting out enticingly, her neck elongated, her chin tilting up at a teasing angle. It was a beautiful line, but it really didn’t belong in the cityscape I was working on.

More importantly, Liz’s body wasn’t for anyone’s eyes but mine. I’d have to paint over it. But first I grabbed a sketchbook and copied down the exact line so I could capture it again later.

Covertly I glanced at my watch again. I had a surprise for Liz. Well, I smiled, it was for me too, I had to admit. But it was late enough now, and we could get ready to leave.

I stored my palette and covered the canvas I had been working on. Reaching for a rag, I wiped my paint stained fingers, as I looked at Liz. My activity caught her attention, and I winked at her across the room.

“I’m going to take you to dinner, angel,” I said casually.

She nodded, putting her book aside. “Where do you want to go?”

I crossed to her, and pulled her off the sofa, and into my arms. “How about I surprise you,” I suggested.

A smile spread across her face. “I always love your surprises.”

Wrapping her arms around my neck, Liz stood up on tiptoes, pressing her whole body against me, as she gave me a quick kiss. “Do I have time to take a shower?”

I gripped her ass, holding her against me. I wanted to take her right on the sofa, but instead I kissed her forehead and said, “Sure baby.”

I had to exert a lot of control not to join her in the shower, and waited until she was finished before I quickly washed in a cold spray. When I emerged from the bathroom I was congratulating myself on my self-control, until I saw Liz.

She was wearing a dress I had never seen before. It was black with thin straps, and clung to the curves of her body, hanging just below her knees. Her legs were bare, and her feet were encased in sexy black heels. It was also obvious she couldn’t be wearing a bra.

I felt my mouth go dry as my eyes raked over her. The thought screamed through my head that she was only wearing two pieces of clothing; the dress, and whatever lacy panties she had chosen. I had the overwhelming urge to see which ones they were, and then rip them off.

Shit, I wanted her.

“Baby, you are so beautiful,” I said, my voice sounding gruff even to my own ears.

A blush spread across her cheeks. “So you like the dress?” she asked.

I smiled, crossing to her and taking her in my arms. “I like it so much that I’ll try not to tear it when I strip it off you,” I teased.

“Zan,” she said exasperatedly but with a smile, and she pushed playfully at my chest.

I kissed her briefly, and then released her and turned determinedly toward the closet. If I didn’t get dressed quickly and get us out of the loft, we wouldn’t leave.

In honor of Liz’s new dress, I passed over my usual jeans, and reached for a pair of black slacks and a deep blue shirt she had given me.

Liz was turned away, doing her makeup, but I could still feel her eyes on me in the mirror as I dressed.

She wanted me too.

Drying my body quickly, I mechanically pulled on boxers and pants, and slung the shirt around my shoulders, stuffing my arms inside. I think I missed half the loops with my belt, but I didn’t stop to fix it. I tucked in my shirt, and fastened up, but as I pulled on my boots, I could feel Liz’s eyes on me, and turned to find her looking at me hungrily.

Usually I would have said fuck dinner, and just taken my angel to bed, but I had been planning this evening for a couple of weeks. Swallowing hard to keep my desire in check, I grabbed my jacket and winked at her. “Ready to go, baby?”

She nodded, but I could see her eyes were dark, and her cheeks flushed with arousal.

We really needed to leave.

Somehow I was able to get us out of the bedroom, through the living room, and out the door. Waiting for the elevator, I wrapped my arm around Liz’s shoulder and pulled her against me. It was an automatic reaction to have her near me, but feeling her soft, willing body pressed to mine really tested my self-control. I had to have another talk with myself about patience as the moments passed, but once the elevator arrived I felt safer.

When we stepped out of the elevator on the main floor, I could see the cab I had ordered through the glass door, waiting in the street. With my free hand, I pushed the door open, maneuvering us both through, so I didn’t have to release Liz.

It was dark, and as we left the building, I automatically looked around. It was an old habit, a leftover from growing up in a dangerous neighborhood. Perhaps some would say it was paranoia, but just because we lived in a fairly safe part of town, it didn’t mean bad things couldn’t happen. Being safe was more important to me than ever, because I wasn’t just looking out for myself anymore, I had Liz to protect.

My practiced eyes slid over the people on the street, and took in our surroundings, looking for any possible threats. I paid more attention to the shadowed areas, anywhere a person could be concealed.

Just as I was satisfied nothing was out of place, I caught a glimpse of a face in the crowd across the street that made me do a double take. Danny. What the fuck was he doing in this neighborhood?

Quickly I looked back, my eyes darting around, searching for him, examining every face. But after scanning the area thoroughly I realized I must have imagined it, because he just wasn’t there. I had been thinking about him lately, and I must have seen someone in the crowd who resembled him, that was all.

I released a tense breath, but I guess I hadn’t realized how long I had been distracted. Liz touched my chest. “Zan?”

“Sorry angel,” I said, pressing a kiss to her head. I moved us to the cab, and opened the door, putting Liz inside first. Over the roof, I scanned the opposite side of the street one more time, my eyes lingering on the dark alley. Fucking Danny. He was the last person I wanted to think about at a time like this.

Settling next to Liz, I took her in my arms again as the cab started moving. I wasn’t going to let thoughts of my past ruin the night.

As we drove, Zan held me close, stroking lightly down my arm. I leaned into him, resting my head against his chest. I was kind of surprised that we had actually left the loft. It was obvious how much he wanted me, and seeing his beautiful, naked body as he emerged from the shower, had instantly turned me on. But there was something else on his mind.

Zan said he was going to surprise me, and I was betting there was more to it than picking a restaurant. He loved to do things for me. He must have something already planned.

Yes, I was hungry, and I had jumped at the chance to go to dinner when Zan suggested it. But now I wanted Zan more than food.

I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. He always smelled so good, and it seemed to warm me from the inside out, making my body shiver with desire. I ached for his touch, and my core was soaking wet, and pulsing with need.

I wanted to ask him to turn the cab around and take us home, but I couldn’t do that to Zan. I would just have to be patient, and wait until later to have him.

We rolled to a stop, and Zan helped me out of the cab, but I was surprised to see where we were. I was expecting a restaurant, but instead we were outside the gallery where Zan had gotten a contract to display his work.

His agent had started the deal on the first night I had gone to one of Zan’s shows, and they had been negotiating and setting it up for months. The contract gave Zan a permanent place to sell his art in one of the most popular galleries in town. And tomorrow night was his opening.

Through the window, I could see the gallery was dark, and I couldn’t imagine that we were going inside. But I got an even bigger surprise when Zan took some keys out of his pocket and opened the door.

“How did you get those?” I asked suspiciously.

He winked at me. “I told you I had a surprise.”

Zan led me into a partitioned section of the gallery near the front. A moveable wall separated Zan’s area, and made more space to display his work. Some of his paintings were hanging on the walls, but most were simply leaning against them in groups, as if someone were still deciding where to put them.

In the center of the space, there were several benches where people could sit and admire his creations. It was almost like his paintings were displayed in an art museum.

I turned in a slow circle, taking in all of Zan’s work surrounding me. It was so incredible to have his talent and passion displayed, all the pictures I had watched him paint. But it was also sad. Each painting represented a time in our lives, and I was sorry to see them for sale because they marked the days of our happiness.

Of course we couldn’t keep all the paintings Zan created. We’d soon have the entire loft full of canvases. But I knew if there was a particular painting I couldn’t stand to part with, all I had to do was tell Zan.

He actually did most of his painting while I was at school. When I was home he only painted when I had lots of homework, or I needed to study. Most of the time when we were home together, we had more, um, important things to do. It brought a smile to my face.

And as if Zan read my thoughts, his hands slid around my waist and he pressed his body to mine. “What do you think angel?” he rumbled.

I turned in his arms. “It’s wonderful Zan. I’m so proud of you.”

He smiled. “I’m pretty proud too,” he rumbled. “But there is one thing that would make it even better.”

His eyes sparkled, and I had no doubt about what he meant.

“You are insatiable today,” I said with a grin, feeling almost weak with relief. I wouldn’t have to wait to have him!

“Not just today angel,” he growled, smiling wickedly as he gripped my ass. “I never get enough of you.”

Automatically I started looking around, wondering if there was anyone to catch us. But Zan anticipated me.

He started walking me backward as he spoke. “No one is here, darlin’. I made sure the place would be completely empty, and there are no cameras in the gallery.”

Pressing me into the wall he kissed my neck as he pushed an aggressive knee between my legs. “Mmmmm, I’ve imagined making love to you here since the day I made the deal to display my art in the gallery. And after tonight, every time I’m here, I’ll remember having you, and I won’t be able to stop smiling.”

He fitted his body even closer to mine as he devoured my neck. His teeth grazed my sensitive skin and I shuddered with desire. “You want me,” he whispered between kisses. “Don’t you baby?”

“Zan,” I gasped. “I want you so much, I didn’t know how I was going to make it through dinner.”

A growl escaped him as one of his hands twisted into my hair, and he kissed me hard. His other hand started to pull up my dress, going directly to the top of my panties and stripping them down my legs.

Suddenly he lifted me, and I thought he was going to take me against the wall, but he turned us and walked the few steps to one of the benches. He sat me down, and knelt before me without breaking the kiss. His hands smoothed up my legs, gripping my panties where they hung just below my knees, and pulled them the rest of the way off.

I grasped at him, pushing his jacket off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Then I unfastened the first few buttons of his shirt before I became too impatient and just reached for his belt.

But he pulled away with a smile. “Not so fast, angel.”

His hands slid up my parted thighs, inching my dress higher, until it was around my waist. Then gripping my hips, he pulled me to the edge of the bench. He winked. “I need a taste first.”

Liz’s eyes widened with desire. I don’t know which of us enjoys me going down on her more. Of course, she cums, but I love giving her pleasure. I love the way her body moves, and the sounds she makes. And tasting her honeyed essence is almost like tasting her soul.

I inhaled deeply as I caressed her silky thighs, wanting to savor every sensation. The smoky scent of her arousal filled my nose, and my cock hardened painfully. Liz is always so wet for me that foreplay really isn’t necessary, but I wouldn’t skip it for the world. I love every moment of my time with my angel, every kiss, lick, nibble, and taste.

Lifting her leg, I put it over my shoulder. I pressed my lips to the inside of her knee, and slowly moved upward, licking and kissing a path to her sweet center. I stopped as I approached the hollow of her thigh, and reached up to her flat stomach. Lightly, I trailed my fingers down, through her dark curls and traced over her puffy lower lips, barely touching her.

Liz squirmed and gasped as I took my time exploring her. I carefully avoided her clit, tracing around it, and stayed to the edges of her ultra-soft lips. Her flesh was blushed with her arousal, and sweet liquid flowed from her like nectar from a ripe peach. She was so beautiful.

Her hips lifted, trying to get closer to me, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I dipped my head, going directly for her core. I slid my tongue into her, taking a brief taste, and continued with a long lick, through her lips and up to her clit.

She moaned with pleasure and I stopped to suck her nub into my mouth, swirling it around with my tongue. Liz’s gasps grew more sharp, and her hips tilted, opening her even more to me. So gently I grazed her clit with my teeth, and she cried out.

Immediately I released her, and dove down, plunging my tongue into her soaking passage. “Zan,” she gasped.

Instantly I withdrew, but the taste of her essence made me greedy for more.

I placed a kiss over her core, and then on her lips, and then her clit. I licked over it again, and then slowly moved down, carefully parting her with my tongue, taking small licks, teasing, delving gradually deeper.

As I reached her center again, I could tell Liz was holding her breath. She wanted me to come back inside.

With my tongue, I dipped in for another brief taste, making her gasp again. Moving back up to her clit, I took it inside my mouth. Quickly I stroked my tongue over it, first from side to side, and then up and down. I sucked it hard, and Liz’s body moved, her gasps rising in pitch.

I could make her cum by concentrating only on her tiny nub, but I wanted to be inside, tasting her. With a final kiss I left her clit, and sucked briefly at each of her succulent lips before reaching her core again. This time I didn’t tease or hesitate, but plunged my tongue deep into her.

Sweet nectar poured from her passage, and I eagerly lapped it up, dipping into her again and again. Liz’s fingers twisted in my hair, holding me where she needed me. I gripped her hips, pulling her closer, and concentrated on bringing her to climax.

With long, deep licks I pushed into her, making sure to curl the tip of my tongue up, and hit her G-spot each time I withdrew. Liz’s hips starting moving in time with my strokes, and her leg tightened over my shoulder. She was getting close.

“Oh Zan,” she gasped. “Yes, Zan.”

I increased my pace inside her, and Liz’s gasps turned to moans, and then whimpers. I heard her shoe hit the floor, and then her bare leg wrapped around my back. Her fingers tightened in my hair, and her body arched. Moisture continued to pour from her, and her inner muscles began to pulse rhythmically.

Plunging into her as deeply, and quickly as I could, I reached up and flicked over her clit with my thumb. It only took a few more strokes and Liz came apart. Her muscles clamped down, squeezing my tongue to the time of her racing heartbeat.

Instantly I withdrew, and stripped my shirt over my head. Then reaching down, I quickly unfastened my pants, pushing them and my boxers down.

At the same time, I moved up her body. I kissed her sweet core again, then her clit, and flat stomach.

Meeting her eyes, I grinned as I took my cock in hand, and aligned myself with her soaking passage. I couldn’t wait any longer. I inched into her, and didn’t stop until I was completely inside. Her inner muscles were still pulsing from the orgasm, but I didn’t give her time to recover. I started to move, slowly stroking in and out.

“Oooohh,” she moaned. “That’s so good.”

I kissed her briefly. “You always feel so amazing, baby,” I told her. “Your pussy is always so wet and ready for me.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Because I always want you inside.”

I continued to move inside her as I pushed the straps of her dress down her arms. Trailing my fingers back up her soft skin, I stroked over her shoulder and across her collarbone before moving lower. Tracing her skin along the edge of her dress, I slowly pushed it down to expose her beautiful breasts.

Leaning in for another kiss, I palmed her soft mounds, stroking her rigid nipples as I rocked inside her. I could feel the shocks of electricity shooting through her body, her muscles clenching as her hips moved with me.

I heard Liz’s other shoe hit the floor and both her legs wrapped around me. On my next stroke, I sank inside her even deeper, and I had to grit my teeth not to cum.

“Shit, angel,” I groaned.

Her legs tightened, and her hands gripped at my back. She was close, and I couldn’t wait much longer either.

I tried to keep my pace inside her slow, but I couldn’t help myself, and began to move faster. I pressed my lips to her throat, nipping at her skin, as she writhed and moaned below me. Moving lower, I took her breast into my mouth, sucking hard.

Liz came again, but I didn’t slow down. Instead I loosened my control and thrust into her hard and fast, pounding our bodies together.

“Stay with me baby,” I whispered, reaching down to stroke her clit.

Her whole body arched, her breath coming fast, and every time I surged into her she gasped with pleasure. After so much stimulation she would cum quickly.

I held her hips steady as I pistoned into her even harder and faster. Her breasts bounced to the time of my thrusts, and I met her eyes, wanting to see every emotion that passed through them.

Her fingers tightened on my back, holding me close, her eyes dark and wide with desire. The quick gasps of her breath turned to soft whimpers as she approached another climax.

My own breath was coming in harsh pants, and I had to concentrate not to cum. The sensation of being inside Liz was amazing. She was so wet, and tight, and her inner muscles were pulsing around me. And watching her pleasure was driving me to the edge.

Her head fell back as her body arched like a bow, her hips lifting into my strokes. Oh fuck, she was taking me so deep!

Every muscle in her body seemed to clench, and I watched her greedily, knowing a few more thrusts would finish her. I stroked her clit quickly and a look of wonder flashed across her face as she came apart in my arms.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and suddenly I knew that is how I wanted to paint her.

“Zan,” she gasped.

Holding her tightly, I let myself cum into her, groaning with the release.

Her inner muscles continued to flutter around me as her breathing slowed. I gently brushed my fingers over her clit, causing shocks of electricity to rush through her, and more gasps of pleasure on her lips.

Our eyes held as our heartbeats returned to normal. I watched the desire in Liz’s eyes turn to satisfaction, and then tenderness and love.

Having my angel in this place, surrounded by my work, meant more to me than I could express. It was solid proof that I had finally achieved my goals, and escaped the trap of my past. My hard work had all been worth it, and I had succeeded more fully than I ever imagined.

Sure I had monetary and commercial success, but I had done it on my own terms, and never sold out. I painted what I wanted, I lived how I wanted, but more importantly I had found an angel who loved me, for me. She meant more to me than any of the rest. I would give it all up without hesitation for her.

Brushing her lips with mine, I whispered against them, “I love you, Liz.”

I stroked her cheek as I savored the sensations of being with her. My angel held me inside, her hot, liquid honey surrounding me, her body wrapped completely around me. I looked into her beautiful, dark eyes, and I would have been happy to sink into her soul.


The world is full of stories, and from time to time,
they permit themselves to be told - Prey

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Re: Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) 1/17 pt3

Post by RoswellOracle » Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:18 am

Sorry it took so long, guys. I had to make sure it was just like I wanted it.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback, and the bumps!!

Temptation_K – I know what you mean! Don’t read at work! lol
Alien_Friend – we certainly haven’t seen the last of Danny
Dreaming_In_Purple – howdy woman! Glad you found some time read!
Ellie – I’d love to be ‘exhausted’ by Zan!!! Liz certainly can’t complain
Jake17 – thank you so much. You have to be poetic when talking about Zan. ;)
Aussietasha77 – Yes, there will be another in the Cravings series. I’m going to work on it after this story is finished
Pandas2001 – more Danny coming up
VeronicaB - ;)
Roswell3053 – thanks for the fb!
Egyptian_Kiss – thank you so much
Zanssoulmate08 – if I had a Zan, I wouldn’t share. Lol
Forever dreamer
Natalie36 – thanks for reading, guys!

Now, on to the next part!

Remember, Liz's POV in regular type - Zan's POV in italics


Part 4


(Liz’s POV)

We slept in because of our late night, but we couldn’t stay in bed all day, Zan had to go back to the gallery. His opening was tonight, and he needed to finish deciding where he wanted his paintings hung.

We missed breakfast, so we had an early lunch, and then Zan took me back to bed to make love again.

It was after one o’clock when he finally got up, kissing me gently on the head. “Stay in bed angel,” he teased with a wink. “I know I wore you out.”

I couldn’t help smiling. “Zan.” I said exasperatedly.

His eyes moved slowly across my body and he grinned, leaning over to press a kiss to my lips. “Besides,” he purred, “I like thinking about you in bed all warm, and naked, and satisfied.”

I stretched languorously. “You always make me feel wonderful.”

With another rake of his eyes over me, he pulled the sheet up, covering me. “I can’t have you tempting me angel, or I’ll never leave.”

He took a quick shower, and dressed hurriedly, and I watched it all from the bed. My eyes followed him around the room, greedily taking in every movement, every muscle flex and bunch. He was so beautiful.

When he was ready, he came back to the bed and sat down. His hand stroked over my arm, and I could see the desire in his eyes. “My agent Steve is sending a car for us at seven, but I’ll try to be back early.” He winked, “So we can continue what we started.”

I reached for him, pulling him down for a kiss. “Mmmmm, that sounds perfect.”

“I’ll hurry, baby.” He kissed me again, and then gathered his wallet and keys before heading out.

I felt a pang of longing as soon as I heard the front door close. It was one of those days when I didn’t seem to be able to get enough of him.

We’d made love when we woke up, and my body still tingled from our activities just moments before. But I still wanted more.

Unfortunately I’d just have to wait.

Rolling over in the bed, I stretched again and settled in a more comfortable position. A smile curved my lips as I thought about our activities last night.

After we made love at the gallery, Zan actually did take me to dinner, which was a good thing because I had worked up quite an appetite.

We went to a restaurant where live jazz bands performed. The interior was dark, with just a few candles on the tabletops for light. There was a small stage, and the booths and tables were arranged around a dance floor where couples were lazily swaying to the soft, slow music.

The hostess took us to a booth at the side of the room, and we sat with our bodies pressed together, neither of us wanting to lose the closeness.

Zan’s arm rested around my shoulders, stroking my arm, as he nuzzled my cheek. I leaned into him, letting my hand wander across his hard stomach and ribs.

After we ordered, Zan offered me his hand, silently asking me to dance with him. With a smile I placed my hand in his, and he led us onto the dance floor.

One of his hands rested at the small of my back, and the other took my hand, holding it over his heart. Slowly we started to move to the leisurely beat of the music, bodies pressed together from chests to knees.

His wiry beard tickled my cheek as he whispered in my ear. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” he rumbled.

“Yes,” I whispered back, “but it’s always nice to hear. Thank you.”

I stroked the back of his neck, just below his hair. “You look pretty incredible yourself. Those pants really show off your great ass.”

Zan’s warm chuckle washed through me, making me shiver with desire.

“I’ll have to wear them more often,” he teased.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I teased back. “We might not ever get out of bed.”

His hand tightened on my back, pressing me even more closely against him. “I’m willing to risk it, angel,” he growled.

I kissed his neck. “I thought you might be.”

We danced to two more songs, and then our dinner was brought to the table. By that time we were both so hungry we hardly spoke as we started to eat. But Zan’s desire-darkened eyes lingered on me, and his hand slipped under the hem of my dress, caressing up the inside of my leg.

As we ate, his soft touches slowly moved farther and farther up, completely blocked from the other patrons and wait staff by the long tablecloth. I spread my legs wider as he approached my core, inviting him to touch me.

His burning gaze roamed over me almost like a touch, lingering on the valley between my breasts exposed by my dress. Then his eyes met mine, and the breath was knocked from me by the pure desire I saw in them. Slowly, one corner of his mouth raised in a sinful, knowing grin.

He finished eating quickly, and then concentrated all his attention on me. His arm wrapped around me, holding me close, and he nuzzled and kissed my neck. He slid his hand up to the juncture of my thighs and inside my panties, and with a feather’s touch, stroked over my clit.

My body automatically arched back with the sudden pleasure.

“That’s it baby,” he growled, “I know just how to touch you.”

He started rubbing my clit in slow circles, drawing a soft moan from me. “Zan,” I breathed, “that feels so good.”

Sucking hard on my neck, he instantly he increased his rhythm.

Zan could do the most amazing things with just his fingers. My legs spread even farther apart and I clutched at his shirt, gasping again. Moisture was pouring out of me and my breath was coming in pants. “Oh Zan, you’ve got to stop. I’m . . .”

He cut me off before I could finish. “I’m not going to stop,” he growled in my ear. “I’m going to make you cum right here, angel.”

“But everyone can see,” I breathed.

“It’s too dark for them to see anything,” he assured me.

He kissed my neck again. “Just let yourself go, baby,” he purred, “and cum in my arms.”

With Zan touching me, there was nothing else I could do. He was right. He knew exactly how to make me come.

I leaned my head against his as he once again increased the rhythm of his strokes over my sensitive nub. My whole body was tightening, and I could feel my inner muscles starting to pulse. I was so close.

As much as I had wanted him to stop a moment ago, I’d do practically anything to get him to finish now.

“Zan, please” I gasped, my hand fisting in his shirt. “Please.”

“I won’t stop, baby,” he growled. “I want to see you cum.”

His fingers moved even faster over my clit, rubbing it in quick, small circles. The pleasure inside me kept building, and building, and I wondered if I would ever reach climax. Then suddenly every muscle in my body tensed, and I flew over the edge.

Zan held me tightly as I shook from the sensations, and gently kissed my cheek. “So beautiful,” he rumbled.

I settled my head on his shoulder as I came down, inhaling his fresh scent. Eventually I was able to release his shirt that I held in my tightly balled fist, and rested my hand on his chest, but it made me more aware than ever of his hard, warm body pressed to mine.

My breathing and heartbeat slowed after long minutes, as he stroked my hair.

Even though it had been a wonderful orgasm, it only made me want more. I ached to feel Zan’s body against me, his hands on me, his hard length filling me.

His fingers brushed my clit again. I gasped, and he rumbled in my ear. “I want you so much, angel.”

“I want you too,” I whispered.

“I want to fuck you right here and now,” he growled. “I want to take you fast and hard.”

“Yes,” I breathed. I wanted him so much I could hardly think.

His eyes left mine and flicked around the room, and I could tell his mind was racing, trying to think of a place for us to go.

Suddenly he looked at me again, his eyes sparkling, a wicked grin lifting one corner of his mouth. He obviously had an idea.

I smiled too. Zan would be inside me in soon.

He tossed a few bills on the table and we headed out the door. I thought we would get a cab, but the pressure of Zan’s arm around my waist directed me to the side of the building.

The alley was fairly dark, only lit by a couple of dim streetlights, but it was still light enough to see. I couldn’t imagine it was our final destination, but simply a shortcut to where ever Zan was taking us.

But I was wrong.

What I had failed to notice was a staircase almost completely hidden in the shadows, which led down the side of the building.

Carefully Zan helped me down the dark steps. I thought he must know about somewhere inside, but when we reached the bottom, he pushed me up against the wall, kissing my neck. The stairwell was deep enough that the walls rose a few feet above our heads, and we were completely covered by the darkness it created.

“What is this place?” I gasped, as he pulled my dress up.

“Delivery entrance,” he breathed into my neck. “Only open in the morning.”

I started to push down my panties, but Zan was too impatient and ripped them off with a jerk.

“I’ll buy you new ones,” he growled.

With a single motion he grasped my ass, lifted me up, and plunged inside.

I cried out, but the sound was cut off almost immediately as Zan’s mouth met mine. He kissed me hard as he started to move.

Wrapping my arms and legs around him, I grasped his head, holding him close. It felt so good having him inside again!

We ate at each other’s mouths as our bodies moved together, finding a fast rhythm. But after a few moments we were forced to break the kiss, needing air, and I was amazed that even though his face was inches away from mine, it was so dark I could hardly see him.

He pumped into me hard, our skin slapping together with the force of his thrusts, and it felt wonderful, but I still wanted more. I wanted to move, but in my position I had no traction.

I extended my legs, bracing my high-heel encased feet against the wall behind Zan, and on his next stroke, I angled my hips to meet his thrust. His entire length sank into me, and he groaned with the sensation.

“Oh shit baby!” he said harshly. “Fuck, that’s good!”

He surged into me even harder, and I kept up with his rhythm, arching into each stroke.

Vaguely I could hear noises from the main street as we moved together almost silently. There were the sounds of car motors, footsteps, voices, even music, and all of it worked to mask what we were doing just a few feet away.

It didn’t take either of us long to reach the end. The earlier activities had built us both up until we were ready to burst.

My muscles strained to keep up with Zan’s fast pace, the soles of my shoes sliding on the concrete wall as my legs shook. My breath was coming in quick pants, and I couldn’t seem to stop my body arching like a bow. I buried my head in the crook of his neck, and dug my fingers into his shoulders, determined to meet him stroke for stroke to the very end.

Zan thrust into me again and again, his velvety length filling me so perfectly, and my inner muscles started to flutter around him. Growls escaped him, that sent shivers all along my skin. I seemed to have no control over my body, every inch of me tightening. Then I felt his cock jerk inside me, and instantly I came.

With another loud growl Zan followed me a moment later, his hips pumping into me a half-dozen more times as my core clenched around him.

For long minutes neither of us moved or spoke. We rested together, both taking great gulps of air to catch our breath. I closed my eyes, simply savoring the sensations of being with him.

At that moment there was nothing else in the world; no city, no cars, no other people, just the two of us. I felt like we were floating together, our only concern each other. And we had expressed our love in the most perfect way, by giving and receiving the gift of incredible pleasure.

I’m not sure how long we clung together, a few minutes, maybe longer, but gradually Zan began to stir.

He was still inside me, pressing me against the wall, and his hand smoothed over my hair, as he kissed me so gently. “You’re amazing, angel,” he breathed against my lips, and then kissed me again. “Thank you for celebrating with me tonight.”

I smiled. “You’re welcome. But the real celebration isn’t until tomorrow.”

He stroked my cheek, pressing his forehead to mine. “No angel, tomorrow is only a show for the press. The real celebration is tonight, right here, just the two of us.”

Tears pricked at my eyes, and I didn’t bother wiping them away.

Afterward, we had fixed our clothes, and taken a cab home. We were both exhausted so we just went straight to bed.

Zan was so gentle with me, so tender it was almost as if he expected me to break. He held me, stroking my hair, and placing soft kisses on my face, until I fell asleep.

I smiled. It had been a wonderful night, and it had continued when we had woken up, making love again and again, until Zan had to leave.

I rolled over in the bed feeling restless, wishing he were with me. Remembering what we had done last night made me want to be with him even more, so we could do it all over again.

(Zan’s POV)

I had arrived at the gallery over an hour ago, and I was supposed to be deciding where I wanted my work hung. But I moved around in a daze, not really caring where I was putting the paintings. It just seemed so unimportant.

Finally I sat down on the bench where I had made love to Liz, and let my thoughts take over. It seemed an appropriate place to think, especially since it was Liz that occupied my mind.

Last night had been wonderful, making love, then dinner, dancing, and more sex. I couldn’t have asked for a better evening.

After we went home I’d settled in bed with Liz and held her until she had fallen asleep. But my mind was too active to allow me to sleep.

The evening had been excellent, even better than I planned, but sometime during our activities something suddenly solidified in my mind.

I had been uneasy for a while. I felt restless, incomplete, like a drawing that was only half finished. I’m not sure exactly when it started; a week, a month, maybe longer.

I hadn’t been able to pinpoint a specific source, it was simply a vague, unformed feeling. Being with Liz always made it better, so of course I spent as much time with her as possible. I would have done it anyway, I always wanted to be with Liz. But given the added effect of settling my uneasiness made me want to be with her even more.

But last night something was different. As the evening passed, I felt a jolt in my gut every time I looked at Liz, and finally I realized what had been troubling me was our relationship.

I couldn’t place exactly when I realized it, maybe when we were dancing, maybe at dinner, maybe on the ride back to the loft. But by the time we had gotten home I could hardly think of anything else.

Silently I slipped out of bed, and went into the other room, grabbing my sketchpad before returning to the bedroom. I sat in a chair facing the bed and started to draw. It was what I always did when I was feeling troubled.

I sketched Liz as she slept, my hand automatically moving over the paper, filling in her form. She looked so peaceful and relaxed. I envied her the worry-free sleep, but I was glad at the same time. It meant I was taking care of my angel, protecting her.

Flipping to a new page, I started another sketch of her.

I perfectly remembered the first time I saw Liz. Every detail was burned in my mind, because it was one of the best days of my life.

It was hot afternoon, and I’d been sitting in the shade drawing, when I heard someone approaching. I’d actually been annoyed that I was being pulled out of my concentration, but I had gotten the shock of my life when I looked up. There was an angel walking toward me.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I’d never seen anyone so beautiful. She was small, at least eight inches shorter than me, wearing shorts and a tank top that exposed much of her perfectly formed body. Her dark hair was pulled up off her long, elegant neck, and she had deep, soulful eyes that were wide with the surprise of seeing me.

From her shy smile, and the light blush that spread across her cheeks, I could instantly tell she was innocent. I could also tell she was as deeply affected by me as I was by her.

Immediately I knew she was the one I had been waiting for my whole life. It was like lightening rushed through me, awakening every nerve in my body. I had to have her, and I’d do anything to make that happen. I wanted to grab her right there, and kiss her senseless, but her obvious inexperience made me proceed cautiously.

I moved slowly for two whole weeks, getting to know her in an environment she was comfortable in, and planning to ask her on a real date, but my need for her got the better of me. I coaxed her into my bed, and into my life in one night. Afterward, I’d worried that I’d moved too fast, and hoped I wouldn’t regret my impatience.

But incredibly Liz loved me, as much as I loved her, and our life together was wonderful.

It was the first time I’d lived with a girlfriend, much less been in love. Sure I’d had relationships in the past, but for me they were mostly about sex. I never wanted anything long-term, and I had no illusions that the girls loved me.

When I was young they wanted me because I was tough, or had a good body, or because I was good in bed. Some wanted me because I was an artist, and then after I’d had a bit of success, of course they just wanted my money.

But everything was different with Liz.

I knew instantly that I was in love with her, and there was a lot more than just sexual attraction between us. We could talk about anything, she had a wicked sense of humor, and she was so beautiful I could barely take my eyes off her. I asked her to move in because I knew, sex or not, I wouldn’t get enough of her.

Liz stirred in bed a little, her hand reaching out, perhaps looking for me, and I felt another jolt in my gut.

If I were honest with myself, I had to admit that I’d had feelings of unease about our relationship for a while. Maybe it had even started as far back as the moment Liz had moved in, but in my mind it had been getting steadily worse.

Basically the problem was that I wanted more from Liz.

I knew it was ridiculous. Liz loved me, lived with me, slept with me, but still I wanted more. I wanted her, body, mind, heart and soul. I wanted something permanent, a commitment, a legally binding ceremony with my ring on her finger.

I never thought I would get married, never even believed in it, but that is exactly what I wanted with Liz. I wanted to share our lives, the good times and the bad, and be together always.

Before it could happen though, Liz deserved more from me too. I had to come clean about my past before I asked her for a lifetime commitment.

She had been so understanding about keeping my past in the past, and she would probably marry me with the limited facts I had given her. But it wasn’t fair to her. She deserved to know exactly who I was, and what she was getting into. And she deserved to hear it from me.

The appearance of Danny in our lives had made me think a lot about my past. And as much as I would like to leave it behind, I finally realized that it wouldn’t always stay there. So tonight, after the opening I would tell Liz the whole ugly truth, and hope she still wanted me.

And if she didn’t… Well, I would face that if it happened. And I would do anything I had to do to get her to change her mind.

Yes, it was dangerous. There was the chance I might ruin everything we had worked to build between us, but it had to be done. It was the first step to the future with Liz.

I was moving quickly, I knew. We hadn’t been together six months. We hadn’t even known each other six months, but I was doing the right thing. We were perfect together, we belonged together, and I wouldn’t be truly satisfied until I made Liz my wife.

Actually I didn’t stay in bed very long after Zan left. I took a leisurely bubble bath and then pulled on a t-shirt and sweats before drying my hair. Since I wasn’t in school I didn’t technically have any homework, but I was eager to continue reading my new textbooks.

I had just settled down with a cup of tea, opening my book to the place I had left off, when the door buzzer sounded.

I certainly wasn’t expecting anyone, so I was a bit surprised. We don’t get many unannounced visitors. It must be a mistake, or solicitor who didn’t take a hint from the large sign on the outside door.

Slightly annoyed I put my book aside and went to the door to push the button for the speaker. “Hello.”

“Hey, um, is this Liz?” a male voice asked.

I was about to answer, but the visitor continued before I could press the button.

“This is Danny. Remember, we met the other day.”

“Hi Danny,” I said, surprised. “I’m sorry, but Zan isn’t here. He won’t be back for a couple of hours.”

“Oh.” The disappointment was obvious in his voice. He continued after a moment. “Well, how about I come up and keep you company, and we can get to know each other better.”

I really wanted to read my book, but it would be rude to blow him off when he seemed so down. Plus, I was interested in what he could tell me about his time with Zan.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll buzz you in, and then just get in the elevator, and I’ll bring it up. We’re on the top floor, and you can’t get up without a key.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

I pressed the buzzer for a handful of seconds, and then went out and waited a moment, until I thought he would be in the elevator to press the call button.

A minute later he was in front of me, a smile lighting his face. “Hi,” he said, extending a hand. “We weren’t properly introduced. “Danny Logan.”

I smiled as I shook his hand. “Liz Parker.”

His eyes lingered on me longer than I would have liked, taking in my whole body before returning to my face. Maybe he didn’t realize it was rude and demeaning. I tried to shrug it off, and motioned to the door. “Come inside and I’ll get you a beer.”

We went into the loft and I crossed to the fridge and got a beer for Danny. I turned back to hand it to him, and he was looking around. I assumed he had been to the loft before, but the way he was taking everything in, it was obviously his first time inside.

He took the bottle from me, and tipped it up for a long drag as his eyes moved around the loft. “Fuck,” he said finally, “you have the whole floor. This shit must have cost a fortune.”

His words made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t answer, just shrugged. But he really didn’t seem to be expecting an answer, because he didn’t even glance in my direction.

“So how long have you been with Zan?” he called over his shoulder, as he wandered through the living room.

“About four months,” I said.

Stopping suddenly, he turned back to me. “Well, I can see why Zan choose you,” he said, as his eyes raked over me again. “You are fine.”

“Um, thanks,” I said, and quickly changed the subject. “So what about you and Zan?” I asked curiously. “How long have you known each other?”

Danny shrugged, taking another drag of beer. “The Johnsons always had a bunch of foster kids coming and going all the time. I was there about a year before they brought Zan,”

He continued around the loft, looking at everything, running his hand over every surface he came to. “The two of us lived there together for about four years.”

“That’s a long time,” I said, surprised. “You must have gotten to know each other well.”

“Well enough,” Danny said blandly. And then he smiled. “Zan never told you.”

“No,” I admitted. “He doesn’t like to talk about the past.”

“I’ll bet,” Danny said.

He stopped at Zan’s worktable and put his beer down, reaching for one of Zan’s sketchbooks. It wasn’t one with pictures of us. Zan kept those out of sight, but I knew he wouldn’t want anyone flipping through his books.

“Danny,” I said, moving forward to the table, “Zan doesn’t like people looking at his sketches.”

He looked at me, surprised. “Well Zan isn’t here. So how’s he going to know?”

My brow creased, as a funny feeling started to settle in my stomach. I put my hand on the sketchbook. “I’m here,” I said steadily. “I’ll know.”

A cruel grin crossed his face suddenly, and then was gone. He shrugged. “So you’re Zan’s protector. I wonder if it really is Zan you’re protecting or the great life you’ve made for yourself here with all his money.”

I shook my head incredulously, completely at a loss for words.

“Zan always was a lucky bastard,” he continued more loudly. “He was smart and he impressed people with that bullshit art of his. Fooled a lot of people. Always had girls hanging all over him.”

His eyes focused on me, and I could suddenly see hatred for Zan in them. “I mean big fucking deal,” Danny growled, “so Zan can draw. You would think he was a fucking prince or something, the way people treat him. What a fucking asshole!”

He stepped closer to me, anger making his face red. His eyes raked over me again, and he motioned to my textbooks, “You’re a college girl, not some stupid ‘ho from the ghetto. So are you with Zan because the artist thing turns you on, or did he buy you?”

I was getting mad myself, and I held his eyes. “I don’t care about Zan’s money,” I said softly but fiercely. “I love him.”

“Love,” he scoffed. “Zan doesn’t know shit about love.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Danny sneered. “He fucked every decent girl in the neighborhood when we were growing up. Even stole a couple from me, but he never loved anyone but himself. He was the tortured artist. People ate that shit up. You would have thought he was a fucking saint.”

He looked at me again, his eyes hard and penetrating. “I’ll bet you are just slumming, huh princess? And I bet Zan fucks you real good.”

Taking a step nearer to me, he laughed. “A smart, prissy bitch like you must think it’s fun and dangerous to have a reformed bad boy.”

I shook my head, incredulous that he had changed so quickly, and at the amount of insults coming out of his mouth. He had obviously hidden his hatred of Zan for years. “I…”

He cut me off, his smile widening. “Would you still want Zan though, if you knew how bad he really was?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said angrily.

His smile widened. “You name it, precious Zannie did it; women, booze, drugs, stealing shit, bustin’ heads. Nobody could party like Zan.” He laughed harshly. “How do you think Zan learned to fuck so good? He had about a thousand bitches to practice on.”

With a wink, he laughed again. “I could tell you some stories.”

It was obvious Danny was enjoying himself, and I’d had enough of him. “You need to leave now,” I said coldly.

Ignoring me, he motioned around. “Just once I’d like to have some of what that asshole Zan always had. Girls throwing themselves at me, shitloads of money, able to buy anything I damn well wanted.”

“Get out,” I said louder, pointing to the door.

A bark of laughter escaped him. “You’re a little spit-fire, aren’t you? I just can’t pass it up.”

Before I realized what he meant, he lunged forward and grabbed my upper arm hard, yanking me forward into him.

His lips closed over mine, kissing me roughly.

Immediately I started struggling, pushing with both hands against his chest, and wrenching my head away.

After a moment he released me with a smirk. “You look like a frigid bitch, but I knew there must be some fire in you. I’ll bet you are a fine piece of ass in bed. Zan isn’t the type to live like a priest.”

Again he reached for me, but this time I was prepared for him, and quickly stepped back, staying out of his reach.

He laughed again. “What’s the matter, spit-fire? I watched Zan leave, and I bet he ain’t coming back for a while. So we don’t have to worry about him walking in on us.” He winked at me again. “Lover boy will never know.”

Obviously he thought he was funny. “Get out Danny,” I ordered.

“Think you’re better than me, huh?” he hissed, his face reddening again. “I’m not rich enough for you? You’d jump me in a second if I had a shitload of money.”

His eyes narrowed. “I bet you make Zan pay plenty spit-fire. I bet you charge him for every roll in the hay.”

He moved toward me again, and I stepped back. I was worried he would make another grab for me, but he laughed again. “Yeah, he pays plenty alright.”

Pointing to himself with his thumb, he smiled. “If you want a real bad boy, you don’t have to look any farther.” With a wink, he grabbed his crotch. “I’ll even give you a decent fuck.”

Picking up the beer bottle off the table he smirked at me as he raised it in a mocking solute. “You know where to come for the whole story about Zan.”

His eyes raked over me again. “See ya later, spit-fire.”

I resisted the urge to run to the door and lock it as Danny stalked out, and instead walked calmly and made sure he got on the elevator. Only after the doors had slid shut did I close and lock the door.

Immediately I started shivering, and absent-mindedly rubbing my arm where he grabbed me. I was rushing with adrenaline, and I felt dirty because Danny had touched me. I couldn’t believe those things he’d said about Zan, how much he hated him. And how was I going to tell Zan that Danny kissed me?

Danny was the closest thing Zan had to family, and he’d just been betrayed by his brother.

Tonight was Zan’s opening, and it would ruin the evening if I said anything. Maybe that is what Danny intended. Maybe that is why he had come to the loft today, and waited outside until Zan left. He’d probably planned the whole thing.

I didn’t like keeping anything from Zan, but I could wait until after the party to tell him what happened.

I returned to the bathroom and scrubbed at my teeth with my toothbrush for long minutes. Then I stripped off the tainted clothes and stepped under a hot shower. I washed my face over and over again, attempting to get the feel of Danny’s lips off mine.

Tears pricked at my eyes as I thought of Zan. Already he had bad feelings about his past, and this would make them even worse. He had so much pain in his life, and he didn’t deserve any more.

How was I going to tell him?


The rest of the afternoon seemed to take no time to pass, but at the same time it seemed to take forever. I was so upset, but I didn’t want Zan to know. Tonight was his opening, and if I told him before, it would ruin his night. He’d be so angry, he might not even want to go. So I’d decided not to say anything until after we got home. It was just a couple of hours, and it would give me a little more time to figure out what to say.

I kept moving around the loft to dispel my nervous energy, my eyes returning again and again to the clock. Zan would be coming home, expecting to make love, and I’d never be able to hide my feelings from him. Being so near to him, I’d never be able to convince him everything was normal.

But five o’clock passed, and then six, and six-thirty. Zan was running late. I felt almost weak with relief, because we wouldn’t have time for sex, but at the same time I wanted to cry. It was the first time I’d been glad we couldn’t make love.

I started to get ready, but noticed a nasty bruise was forming where Danny had grabbed me. The dress I had chosen would show the mark, so I quickly dug in the closet for another dress with longer sleeves that would cover it. I put it on, feeling a bit better when the bruise was out sight. There is no way I would have been able to explain it to Zan, not without telling him the whole story.

I tried to keep calm, concentrating on getting ready, and I was just finishing my makeup when I heard the front door close. Immediately I started shaking.

Zan came hurriedly into the bedroom. “I’m sorry baby. It took longer than I expected.”

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind, and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “It just gives us something to look forward to later.”

I tried to smile as I met his eyes in the mirror, but I saw a frown cross his face.

“What’s the matter, angel?” he said with concern. “You’re shivering.”

“I’m just a little cold,” I said truthfully. At the moment I felt like I’d never be warm again.

“We can fix that,” he said softly. He knelt down in front of me and took me in his arms, fitting his body to mine. I laid my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around him, clinging to him. For long moments he held me, rubbing his hands across my back. His warmth flowed into me, pushing the worries to the back of my mind, and eventually I did stop shaking.

He kissed my forehead. “Better baby?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I felt as if I might start crying any minute.

“I’m going to grab a quick shower,” he said softly, “and you should find a jacket.”

I nodded again and folded my arms across my chest as he left me. Immediately I was cold again, and I got up and crossed to the closet to follow Zan’s suggestion to get a jacket.

He was quick in the shower, emerging from the bathroom minutes later, a towel wrapped low around his hips. With a wink he smoothed product into his hair, and pulled it into his customary spikes.

Zan grabbed some clothes and dressed quickly. For once he didn’t flirt, and I was glad. I didn’t know if I’d be able to pull it off, without him seeing my true feelings.

When he was finished buttoning his shirt, he crossed to me, cupping my face. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he said softly.

I shook my head, and forced a smile. “Nothing,” I said quickly. “I’m a little nervous, I guess.”

His too perceptive eyes searched mine, and I wasn’t sure he believed me.

The doorbell rang at that moment, announcing Steve’s arrival, and drawing Zan’s attention from me, and I practically sighed with relief. I was glad to get going. If I were alone with Zan very long, he would see too much.

The next hour passed in a blur. We went to a restaurant, and I couldn’t have said what I ate. There was conversation, but I couldn’t have said what we talked about.

Several times I felt Zan’s eyes on me, and I tried to give him reassuring smiles.

Finally we left to go to the gallery. Zan put me into the limo and sat close to me, wrapping his arm around me, making me wince slightly when he touched my bruise. He slid his hand into mine, and squeezed it, as he kissed the side of my head. “Are you sure there’s nothing wrong, angel?” he whispered.

I smiled weakly. “Everything is great,” I tried to reassure him.

“Okay,” he said, kissing my head again.

It was a short ride to the gallery and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw the reception Zan received. There seemed to be hundreds of people who had come to view his work and I felt a rush of pride.

I was doing the right thing acting like nothing was wrong. Zan deserved the evening.

It seemed like everyone wanted to talk to him, and congratulate him, and we were pulled into one conversation after another. We moved around the gallery, and Zan kept me pressed close to his side, his arm tight around me. I knew he was concerned about me, obviously I hadn’t been hiding my feelings as well as I’d hoped.

After we had been there about an hour, I leaned into Zan so he could hear me. “Zan,” I said softly, “I’ll be fine on my own. You don’t have to stay with me the whole time.”

His eyes searched mine for a moment, and then he nodded. “Okay angel.” He kissed me briefly and moved away.

I’d been alone for less than fifteen minutes, when a familiar voice called my name. “Liz, the spit-fire.”

I whipped around, not believing he was really there. “Danny,” I gasped. “What are you doing here?”

Danny smiled. “I thought I would come and check out Zan’s art.”

My eyes narrowed suspiciously on the large glass of strong alcohol in his hand. Was he trying to ruin Zan’s night? “That’s funny,” I said sarcastically. “Why did you really come?”

His smile widened. “I came for another kiss.”

Automatically I took a step back. Feeling guilty, I quickly glanced in the direction Zan had gone, but I couldn’t see a thing. I was too short.

My attention was drawn back to Danny by his chuckle.

“You didn’t tell Zan did you?” he laughed. “Now why is that?“ He winked at me as he stepped closer. “Is it because you really wanted me?”

I stepped back again. “Stay away from me Danny.”

He shook his head. “You’d better be nice to me, spit-fire, or I’ll tell Zan what a little slut you are.” He tossed down half of the glass of amber liquid in his glass. “I’ll tell him you came on to me.”

“Zan would never believe that,” I said confidently.

“Are yous sure, princess?” he mocked, slurring his words slightly, and pointing a finger at me. “I’ve known Zan for more than ten years, and you’ve known him four months. Who do you think he’s going to believe?”

I shook my head, but he cut me off before I could speak again. “There is the man of honor over there,” he motioned vaguely with his glass. “I’ll go say hello.” He winked at me again. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

I didn’t want him near Zan, but I couldn’t think of a way to stop him. It seemed like anything I said would just make him more determined.

Even though I was halfway across the room from her, every few minutes my eyes kept returning to where Liz was standing. There was something wrong with her, no matter what she said. And she must be lying about it because she didn’t want to ruin my evening.

But what she didn’t understand was that she was more important to me than any opening. I’d stay for a while, so she didn’t think she was the reason we had left. Then I take her home and get her to open up about what was going on.


My name made me turn, and I smelled the whiskey before I saw who it was. Somehow I wasn’t really surprised.

“What are you doing here Danny?” I asked, my voice sounding bored even to my own ears.

“Now is that a nice way to greet an old friend, a brother?” he said, slapping me on the shoulder. “Especially one you owe so much to?”

Of course, I thought, now comes the truth. “What exactly do you think I owe you? And why after all this time?”

Danny grinned. “I’d heard stuff about how successful you’ve been, but I never thought I would see you again, man. It was really lucky I just happed to catch you on the street, it made me start thinking.”

I met his eyes. “And what have you been thinking?”

He took another drink. “I’ve been thinking that you’ve got a pretty good set up, Zan.” He motioned around, “Shitloads of money, all these rich people worshiping you, a fine piece of ass in your bed. You’ve got a lot to lose.”

“Right,” I said, as understanding dawned. “And that brings us back to what I owe you.”

“You catch on fast, bro,” he said, motioning to me with his drink, a few drops spilling over the edge. “I know a lot about you, man. A lot of things that you wouldn’t want to get out.

I almost laughed. The bastard was trying to blackmail me. Didn’t he know my career was promoted on my ‘bad boy’ rep? If my agent heard I was being blackmailed, he’d probably want to add it to my bio to give me more ‘street cred’ with the art collectors.

I refrained from telling Danny however, curious to find out exactly what he wanted. “And what do you figure I owe you?” I said with gritted teeth.

“There is that little matter of a key of heroin you stole from me,” he said.

I was genuinely surprised. “You really want to bring that shit up?”

He ignored my comment. “I figure you owe me for the smack, plus nine years interest.”

“Fuck off, Danny,” I snarled.

He smiled. “You should be nice to me, Zannie-boy. And you should do some thinking, because I’ll be back, and you’d better have something for me.”

His eyes moved across the room to where Liz was standing. “I could ruin your perfect life with just a few words.”

I felt the overwhelming urge to punch him. I couldn’t believe he was threatening me, threatening Liz.

I took two steps closer, putting us nose to nose. “You’d better keep your fucking mouth shut, if you know what’s good for you, Danny,” I growled, poking a finger into his chest. “And stay the fuck away from us.”

His smile faded, and for a moment I thought he might start some shit, but he turned to leave.

I wasn’t stupid enough to think I’d seen the last of Danny. I just didn’t want to deal with it tonight. He wouldn’t leave this alone until I made him. And the best way to do that was to make Danny see I wasn’t the only one with something to lose.


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Re: Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) 2/09 pt4

Post by RoswellOracle » Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:42 pm

Thanks guys for all the great feedback and the bumps.
Sorry it has taken so long for this part. Too much going on in RL.

TemptationK – as good as Christmas? Wow thanks
Egyptian Kiss – I am glad you are enjoying getting a peek into Zan’s life
Alien friend
Forever dreaming
IzzyEvans – but we can’t have Zan commit obvious murder – lol – conjugal visits are so not sexy ;)
Alex Balex
Touched by an alien
Jake17 – thank you so much for the compliments – and you are right, Zan isn’t going to like it one bit
XYZ – Oh, it is you that has been breaking into my house and reading my notes. lol Zan and Liz’s relationship is fragile, even though there is a lot of love. They have only been together 4 months, and still don’t know each other completely. You ask a good question about Liz’s parents, and that will be the topic of the next story in the series.
Veronica &
KiaraAlexisKlay – yes Liz was quick to trust Danny, but she thought of him as Zan’s brother. That is also why she didn’t want to tell Zan what he did, because she doesn’t want to hurt Zan, or ruin his opening night. But she isn’t really trying to hide it, and she knows she has to tell him.

On to the story!


Part 5


(Liz’s POV)

Anxiously I watched Danny walk away from me to go to Zan. The crowd parted to let him through, until I was able to see all the way across the room, where Danny stopped behind Zan.

I witnessed their greeting, and I could tell Zan was surprised to see Danny. Obviously he hadn’t expected him to show up. I wondered if Zan had invited him, or if Danny had come on a whim. Zan said they hadn’t kept in touch, but maybe he’d felt bad about not going for a drink, and invited Danny to the opening to make up for it.

But this time there were no special handshakes or brotherly hugs, and I began to suspect Zan hadn’t invited Danny. In fact, I thought my earlier assessment had been correct. Danny had simply come to cause trouble, and ruin Zan’s night.

Their conversation was short, and I could see the genuine anger on Zan’s face. He moved close to Danny, poking a rough finger in his chest. Then Danny turned and moved back toward me, his smile widening as he got closer.

When he was just a few feet away, he winked at me. “Told you spit-fire. Told you to be nice to me.”

Immediately my eyes snapped back to Zan. He was looking straight at us, his face hard with fury, his eyes narrowed. He was more angry than I had ever seen him before,

Danny moved past me, but I hardly noticed. I felt like the breath had been knocked from my body. Had he told Zan about the kiss? Did Zan believe it was my fault?

I hadn’t even considered it before, but now that Danny had put the idea into my head, I was starting to worry.

Zan hadn’t blamed me when the guy in my class, Tom, had been coming on to me. He’d believed me completely, trusted me. But Tom was a stranger to him. Zan had known Danny for years. Would he believe Danny over me?

Danny obviously liked to cause trouble, and he hated Zan. I couldn’t help thinking that Danny would love to break us up. He would think it was great fun to tell Zan all kinds of lies about what had happened.

Had he told Zan I came onto him? That I kissed him?

I started shivering, and it felt like my whole body went numb. Would Zan leave me because he thought I flirted with Danny? Could everything we shared be over that quickly?

(Zan’s POV)

I watched Danny as he threaded his way through the people, making sure he really did leave.

He got about halfway across the room before I noticed his path was taking him directly toward Liz. I expected him to walk right past her, but he stopped and said something that made her look at me, and the color drain from her face.

Instantly I started toward them.

I pushed through the crowd as quickly as possible, wanting to get to Liz. And as I moved, I caught the eye of a security guard and motioned toward Danny.

I called myself a fool as I stalked across the crowded room. I should have followed my instincts and not left Liz alone. She’d been upset for hours, and Danny had just made it worse.

But Danny didn’t stay with her. He continued walking toward the door, and security caught up with him a few steps later, quickly escorting him from the building.

By the time I reached my angel, she was shaking again. I don’t know what Danny said to her, or why she was upset earlier, but it was time to find out.

I knew my agent Steve or the gallery owner wouldn’t mind if I left right after Danny had been taken out by security. My departure after a public argument would start a whole new set of rumors that would probably raise demand, if not prices.

What a load of shit.

Of course I really didn’t give a damn what they thought. I would have left even if they insisted I stayed. Liz was more important to me than anything else.

When I reached her I wrapped my arm around Liz’s shoulders, and leaned close to her ear. “We’re going.” I said in a tone that didn’t leave any room for argument.

Her eyes widened with fear, and again I wondered what the fuck Danny had said to her. Had he told her something about my past that had scared her?

That was the only think I could thing of. What else could he have said that would upset her?

And suddenly I was worried.

I tried to reassure myself that Liz was simply surprised by what Danny had said. I knew she would give me a chance to explain, to tell my side. But what if she was horrified by what I told her? What if she was angry that I hadn’t given her the whole truth earlier?

Fuck! I intended to tell her everything tonight. I just hope I hadn’t waited too long.

We moved toward the exit, and Steve must have witnessed some of the scene, because he was waiting near the door.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, looking anxiously from Liz to me.

I gave him a brief nod.

He looked at Liz again, and I could see the concern on his face. She was more pale than I had ever seen her, and her eyes were downcast. She had a look of complete shock, fear and misery on her face.

Steve’s eyes returned to mine. “The limo is right outside, Zan, and security will make sure you get to it safely.”

“Thanks,” I said with a nod. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

The time after Danny talked to me passed in a blur. Zan was suddenly at my side, escorting me to the door. He spoke with Steve, and then we were in the limo.

There was a scowl on Zan’s face, a look of anger and frustration. He didn’t speak in the limo or the elevator up to the loft, but simply kept his arm stiffly around my shoulders.

I was terribly afraid of what was about to happen, and I couldn’t stop shaking. Zan was going to break up with me. I knew it.

Finally we were inside the loft and Zan closed the door behind us and turned to me. His eyes flicked quickly over my face. “Okay angel,” he said softly, “why don’t you tell me what’s going on.”

I shook my head, not sure where to start.

He took a step closer. “You can’t hide this from me,” he said, his voice a little louder. “I know you too well.”

My stomach clenched, his words confirming my worst fears. “I wasn’t trying to hide it,” I said breathlessly. “I just didn’t want to ruin your night by telling you earlier.”

An even deeper scowl crossed his face. “Liz?”

I didn’t know how to tell him that his brother had betrayed him. It was just so awful. A tear escaped my eye, and Zan reached up to wipe it away.

“Hey,” he whispered, “you can tell me anything.”

“Um,” I started, my voice choked, as I tried for the right words. “Danny came over this afternoon when you were gone.”

“What?” Zan sounded shocked. “He was here?”

I nodded, and more tears gathered in my eyes.

Zan’s eyes searched mine, and the blood drained from his face. “Oh fuck,” he said softly.

He was mad, outraged. Danny must have told Zan his version of what happened, and I had just confirmed his story that he had come to the loft. Did Zan really believe I had come on to Danny?

I started shaking harder, scared I would lose Zan, and more tears spilled down my cheeks. But I couldn’t give up without a fight. I loved Zan too much. I had to at least try to tell my side.

“I didn’t want him to, Zan,” I said breathlessly. “I swear I didn’t do anything to make him think that I wanted it.”

“Shit,” he breathed.

He reached out a shaky hand to my face. “Tell me what happened, angel.”

I looked down, unable to meet his eyes. “We were just talking at first, and he got so angry. He was saying the most awful things. Then he grabbed me, and kissed me. I didn’t want him to,” I assured Zan again, “and I fought him. I pushed him away.”

I shook my head, and risked a look into Zan’s eyes. “I didn’t flirt with him,” I said quickly. “I swear I didn’t. . .”

Zan wrapped me in his arms, crushing me to him. “Of course you didn’t baby. It’s not your fault.”

For a moment I couldn’t take in his words. I was so relieved he believed me, I felt like I might faint, but I still couldn’t stop shaking. I guess I’d been stupid to think Zan wouldn’t trust me. I’d just been so upset with everything that happened, I must not have been thinking clearly.

He stroked my hair. “What else happened?” he whispered.

“Danny was ranting,” I continued breathlessly, “about how you’d always gotten everything you wanted, and he never had anything. He said for once he wanted what you had.”

Zan kissed my head when I paused. “You can tell me Liz,” he urged. “Tell me everything.”

“He tried to grab me again,” I said softly, “but I told him to get out. I didn’t think he was going to, but then just left.”

“He left?” Zan asked with obvious surprise in his tone. “He didn’t do anything else?”

“No,” I whispered. I didn’t want to tell Zan everything Danny had said. I didn’t think there was any reason to repeat all the hurtful words.

Zan didn’t say anything, but pulled back, holding my face in two hands, meeting my eyes and searching them.

I still couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Maybe he knew I wasn’t telling him everything. I continued nervously. “I’m so sorry I had to be the one who told you that he betrayed you, Zan. He’s your brother.”

Zan released a deep breath and hugged me even tighter. “Oh shit baby,” he said shakily. “That’s the reason you’ve been upset all night?”

I nodded.

“Fuck,” his breath came out in a rush. “The way you were talking, I thought…” He trailed off, and kissed my head, and then whispered into my hair. “I thought he raped you.”

“What?” I asked incredulously, pulling back to meet his eyes. “Has he done that before?”

Zan shook his head. “I don’t know. But he used to get pretty rough with his girlfriends, slapped a couple of them around, and maybe worse.”

I started shaking again when I realized I had been alone with Danny, and thoughts flew through my head at what could have happened.

Zan held me to him, stroking my back. “Hey angel, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I didn’t know,” I said dumbly. “He’s your brother.”

“He was my foster brother, but he isn’t a good person,” Zan said. “I should have warned you about him, but I really didn’t think we’d see him again. I had no idea he even knew where we lived.”

He pulled back enough to look into my eyes. “But I’ll make sure he doesn’t come around again. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked nervously.

“Don’t worry,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Nothing I could get arrested for. I’ll just have a talk with him. Let him know his behavior is unacceptable.”

Suddenly I felt exhausted. I had been so worried all evening, running on overload, and now that I knew everything was okay it was like my body was shutting off.

And it seemed Zan could read my every emotion. “This has been eating you up all day.”

“I didn’t want to have to tell you what he did,” I said softly. I looked down at his chest, ashamed to meet his eyes. “And then at the gallery, Danny said he would tell you I had flirted with him, and kissed him. I was afraid you would believe him, and blame me.”

“What?” Zan growled incredulously. He took my face in his hands. “Angel, I’d never blame you.”

Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I gasped for air, trying to speak. “I saw Danny talking to you,” I breathed, “and I wondered if he was telling you what happened, and making it sound like I came on to him. And I thought you might break up with me.”

“Look at me, Liz,” Zan said softly, brushing the tears from my face.

I met his eyes, and he continued solemnly. “I know you would never cheat on me, and there is no way I would break up with you. Angel, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

He kissed my forehead. “You make life worth living.”

More tears spilled down my cheeks, but this time they were tears of relief and happiness. “I feel the same way about you, Zan, and I was so afraid I would lose you.”

“Never,” he said fiercely. “And especially not because of a fucking asshole like Danny. He didn’t tell me anything about being here. And if he had mentioned kissing you, I would have beaten the shit out of him. I certainly wouldn’t believe him if he said you had come on to him. He has always been a liar. I wouldn’t believe him if he said the sky was blue.”

“I didn’t realize you disliked him so much,” I said. “The way you guys were together the other day . . .” I trailed off. “You never said anything, and I just assumed.”

Zan shrugged. “Just because we lived in the same house doesn’t mean we were close. I didn’t think he was worth wasting my breath. He’s a part of the past I hoped I’d left behind.”

“And after the way he treated you,” Zan said with a scowl, “my opinion of him is at an all time low.”

I nodded. I knew Zan didn’t like to talk about his past, and I could understand that. I wouldn’t push him, but I couldn’t seem to put Danny out of my mind as easily as Zan. Another shiver ripped through me. “I still feel all dirty because he touched me,” I said.

Wrapping me in his arms, Zan whispered into my hair. “We can fix that, angel.”

Picking me up easily, he walked through the dark bedroom and into the bathroom, stepping into the bathtub still holding me. He sat down, resting me across his lap, and reached to turn on the water.

“But Zan,” I protested, “our clothes.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said softly.

His hand smoothed down my leg and removed my shoe, tossing it out onto the floor, and then he repeated the action on the other side.

The water lapped at the soles of his boots, but he was unconcerned. He kissed my forehead. “This is about you, baby,” he rumbled. “I want you to feel clean and safe.”

I rested my head against his chest, tightening my arms around him. “I always feel safe when I’m with you.”

He kissed my head again as he reached for the bubble bath, and squeezed a generous amount into the rising water. “We’ll make sure you’re clean too.”

The tub filled quickly, and it was a weird sensation since we were still fully clothed. The bathroom and bedroom were dark, and the only light was coming from the main room. The soft glow only partially illuminated the bathroom, leaving us in a comforting darkness.

I’d been so worried and upset for hours, and it felt wonderful to just be held in Zan’s strong arms.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

My mind was racing a million miles an hour, thinking about what could have happened to my angel.

I was almost weak with relief that the worst she had experienced was being kissed against her will. At the same time I was enraged that Danny had dared to come to my house, and put his hands on Liz.

I held her closely as the bathtub filled, stroking her hair, whispering words of reassurance and love, while at the same time I was planning how to keep her safe. I never wanted to see that look of fear and panic on her face again.

Shivers still raced through her small body as she clung to me. I wanted to kill Danny for doing this to her, but I pushed thoughts of revenge to the back of my mind for now. My first priority was to make sure Liz was okay.

When the tub was full, I reached to turn off the water, and set the thermostat to keep it at a constant hot temperature, then I wrapped my arm back around Liz, holding her securely. She was sitting across my lap, her head resting on my shoulder, and I put my cheek on her forehead.

I wanted to tell her everything about my past. I felt like I needed to tell her, but now was not the time. I didn’t want to put any more pressure on her.

Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, I whispered against her skin. “Do you want to talk about it, baby?”

“This whole thing is my fault,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have let him in when you weren’t here. I was stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” I said forcefully. “You are innocent, and trusting, and it isn’t your fault. It is my fault that I didn’t warn you.”

“But if I hadn’t let him in, none of this would have h-happened,” she said in a rush, her voice catching. “He’s a stranger, so I shouldn’t….”

“Sssshhh, angel,” I said softly, rocking her slowly. She was making herself more upset. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”

I felt her release a deep breath, and hoped she was calming down. “You didn’t have to keep all of this to yourself, Liz,” I whispered, trying not to sound like I was accusing her of doing anything wrong. “You could have told me when I got home.”

She shook her head. “I was so proud of you tonight. All of those people came to see your art.” Her lips touched my neck. “If I told you what happened, you would have been so mad. You wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the evening.”

She was right. I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy myself at the party, but I really didn’t enjoy them much anyway. They were simply a necessity of my profession.

Of course I liked having my work displayed and being recognized for my accomplishments. But being forced to interact with all the pretentious critics and collectors quickly got old.

Tonight I had been too worried about Liz to pay much attention to what was happening at the party. And then Danny had shown up.

I’d wanted to punch him just for what he said to me. If I had known what he did to Liz, I would have taken him apart.

“Angel, I was worried about you,” I whispered, stroking her cheek. “You are so much more important to me than any party.”

“I know Zan, but you work so hard,” she said. ”It was your opening, and you really deserved it.”

I felt a sense of amazement. Liz had been trying to protect me. No one had ever done that before.

“My sweet angel,” I said. “I know you were trying to protect me, but please promise me you won’t keep things like that from me. I want to share and support you in everything, the good and the bad. Okay?”

“I promise,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, Zan.”

“Liz,” I stopped her before she could upset herself again, “there is nothing to be sorry about. Please just talk to me in the future.”

I noticed she had stopped shaking, and I kissed her forehead again. “How about we get you out of those clothes and make sure you feel clean?”

She nodded.

Carefully I helped her take one arm out of a sleeve, and then the other, pushing the dress down her body until it pooled around her waist. Then I reached for a washcloth, dipping it in the soapy water before placing it on her skin.

It was dark in the room and the water rose up to Liz’s shoulders, so I couldn’t actually see her body, but that didn’t matter. I held every beautiful inch of her perfectly in my memory.

Starting at her neck I rubbed the cloth gently over her, making sure not to miss anywhere. I wanted to be certain that I washed off any of the places Danny might have touched her.

I smoothed the washcloth across her soft shoulders, and over the curve of her upper back, before moving to her chest. I took a deep breath before reaching her breasts.

An image of her beautiful breasts filled my mind; the velvety feel, the rosy color of her areolas, the sweetness of her nipples as they hardened into a tight points. Her creamy mounds fit so perfectly in my hand, and in my mouth.

I felt my cock start to swell. I had to stop my line of thought, it was driving me crazy, and I’d never be able to finish bathing her.

It went without saying that I wanted her, but I did my best to keep sex out of my touch as I continued. I slid the cloth around and over her breast, trying not to think too much about where my hand was, and how much I wanted to really touch her.

I finished one breast, and then the other, and was congratulating myself on my control, when my arm accidentally brushed her peak. My stomach clenched with desire, and I swallowed hard.

I had to keep going before my lust got the better of me.

“Lift up a little, baby,” I said, my voice gruff with need.

Liz put her hand on my shoulder and leaned forward, and I carefully pushed her dress and panties down her legs. Then I wrapped my arm around her waist, helping her settle in my lap again.

She laid her head back on my chest, and I continued washing her, gently moving the washcloth across her skin.

Every inch of her is so tempting to me, and I swallowed hard again. I wanted to kiss my way down her arm, following the path of the washcloth. I wanted to lick across her flat stomach, and nip at her lower back.

Somehow I was able to keep it together, but I knew I was in big trouble when I reached her legs.

Those shapely legs are so often wrapped around me as thrust into her. They held me tightly, moving with me, keeping me deep inside.

Shit. I was already semi-hard, and as I washed down her leg, all I could think about was coming back up and reaching her sweet pussy.

Slowly I moved up her calf, using all of my concentration to keep my desire in check, but then Liz parted her legs.

She probably did it out of reflex, to give me more room, but I had to bite my lip to stifle a groan. Instantly I went from semi-hard to rock hard.

Fuck! I wanted her so much!

I practically held my breath as I moved the washcloth down her other leg and back up, and then carefully slid it between her thighs. I swallowed hard. I wanted to slide my fingers over her clit, again and again until she came apart in my arms. Then I wanted to pump two fingers inside her, brushing her G-spot until she came again.

I tried to think of anything instead of the fact that my hand was between her legs.

Painting was the first thing that came to mind, but it didn’t help.

The circles I used to mix paint on my pallet were the same I used to stroke Liz’s clit. Painting a line on a canvas reminded me of tracing her delicate lower lips with my fingers. And dipping paintbrushes into water to clean them, made me think of dipping my tongue into her soaking wet pussy.

It took a supreme amount of effort to pull myself back to reality and simply use a couple of gentle strokes of the washcloth over her core, and then move it away.

My breathing was harsh, and I wrapped both arms around Liz, holding her tightly, willing myself to calm down. This was for her, to make sure she was feeling okay, not to fuel my desire.

I kicked off my water-filled boots, as I stroked her hair. She wasn’t saying much, and I was still worried about her.

After a moment I got control of myself, and whispered into her ear. “How’s that, angel? Better?”

She nodded, and her lips brushed my neck again. “It was a perfect idea,” she said softly. “ Thank you, Zan.”

I kissed her head. “Anything for you.”

It probably wasn’t much later than ten, but I thought we should just go to bed. It had been a long, stressful day, and we could both use some rest. I could hold Liz until she fell asleep, even though I would probably be awake for hours, my mind racing.

“Are you ready to go to bed, angel?” I said softly.

“Yeah,” Liz said with a nod.

Standing up, I carefully lifted her and carried her out of the tub. I put her on her feet on the bathmat, and grabbing a fluffy towel, I started to dry her off.

It was lighter near the door and I couldn’t help my eyes sliding over her body. She is so damn beautiful, and of course I wanted her. I always did. But Liz needed TLC, not my lust.

Then I noticed a dark area on her upper arm. At first I thought it was a shadow, but as my eyes adjusted, I could see it was really a large bruise that had obviously been hidden by the darkness.

Instantly I was enraged, and the words burst from me before I could stop them. “What the fuck is that?”

Liz winced and moved to cover the bruise, but her small hand only blocked about half of it from my sight.

Shit. Danny must have done it, and I wanted to kill him. Liz had said he had grabbed her, I just hadn’t realized how rough he’d been. It made me think Liz had come closer to being raped than she realized, but I didn’t want to scare her any more, and quickly swallowed my anger. I didn’t want her to think I was mad at her.

“Let me see, baby,” I said softly.

Slowly she lowered her hand, and I reached out, gently taking her arm, lifting it to examine the injury more closely. Unmistakably it was a handprint; a large, rough, masculine handprint, marring the porcelain skin of Liz’s arm. I could see the imprint of the heel of a palm, and four distinct finger impressions. I was sure if I looked at the back of her arm, I would see the thumb too.

I released her, and cupped her cheek, meeting her eyes before speaking. “I promise you, he won’t ever touch you again.”

She nodded, giving me a weak smile.

Carefully, gently, I began rubbing the towel I was still holding over her skin again. I started at her neck, and worked my way down, doing my best to keep my touch light and soothing and not sexual. When I was sure she was dry, I reached for another towel and wrapped it around her, covering her from chest to knees.

Then I started stripping off my own wet clothes. When I reached my boxers, I used the excuse of reaching for another towel to turn away, hiding the evidence of how much Liz was affecting me. I dried myself quickly, wrapping the towel around my hips before I turned back to her.

Liz remained silent, watching me carefully as if she was afraid of what I might do, and it made my heart ache. Was she scared of me?

I approached her slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements, and I was glad to see that she didn’t move away. Again I lifted her small form into my arms, making sure to avoid touching her bruised arm, and carried her into the bedroom, placing her on the bed. “Stay here baby,” I said. “I’ll get some pajamas for you.”

A look of confusion crossed her face. “We’re not going to make love?” she asked. “We always…” she trailed off.

Liz had been through so much, and I didn’t want her to think she had to have sex with me to prove her love. I cupped her silky cheek. “Angel, I think we should take one night off, and get some rest,” I said softly.

Instantly tears filled her eyes, and I knew I had said the wrong thing.

She folded her arms across her body. “You don’t want me,” she gasped. “It’s because Danny kissed me, t-touched me, isn’t it? You think I’m dirty too.”

Oh shit. I hadn’t even considered she might think that. I took her face gently in both hands. “Of course I want you, angel,” I said fiercely. “But you’ve had a rough day, and you’ve been really upset. I think you need to get some sleep.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Please make love to me, Zan,” she begged, clutching at my arms. “I need to feel your love. Please, I want to feel your touch on my skin, not his.”

Fuck!!! I wanted to give her some time to feel comfortable again before we made love. She was upset, and possibly not thinking clearly, and I certainly didn’t want to give her any reason to fear sex or feel disgusted by rushing into it after a traumatic experience.

I also felt like we shouldn’t make love until I told Liz everything. It seemed like a betrayal somehow. That was why I had come home from the gallery so late. I didn’t want to leave us time to make love before we left for the party. I wanted to wait until we got home, and tell her the truth so she could make the decision about whether she still wanted to be with me.

But I knew now wasn’t the time to burden her with any more. I would wait to tell her about my past, and just hope she didn’t hate me for doing it.

I wrapped her in my arms, crushing her against me. “I love you, and I always want you, and nothing could change that,” I said fiercely, kissing the top of her head. “I had to use every bit of control I possess not to take you in the bathtub.”

“Really?” she whispered.

I nodded. Taking her hand, I lowered it to my hard cock to give her proof. “See what you do to me, baby?” I whispered, stroking her hair.

I had resigned myself to the fact that we wouldn’t be having sex, but now that Liz wanted it, I knew I’d have to work hard to keep myself under control. I was so aroused, I felt ready to burst. But I wanted to take my time with Liz and make sure she felt my love.

I kissed her forehead. “I’ll spend the whole night making love to you and worshiping every inch of your body if you want,” I promised. “I’ll show you exactly how much I love you and want you, angel.”

“Yes,” she breathed.

I was so relieved that Zan still wanted me.

I had instantly panicked when he said he wanted to go to bed without making love.

He had been so understanding, and so wonderful bathing me, but his touch had been completely sexless, almost clinical. At first I thought he was just trying to soothe me, but when he didn’t want to make love, his actions suddenly seemed too careful. It made me think he was disgusted that Danny had touched me, and I couldn’t stand it.

The thought that Zan didn’t want me made me feel cold.

He said he thought I should get some sleep, but nothing would make me feel better than him kissing and touching my body.

Holding my head in two hands he leaned down slowly, brushing his lips against mine. “I love you, angel,” he whispered. “And I want you so much.”

I reached up touching his face. “Kiss me,” I breathed.

He kissed me tenderly, his hand cupping my cheek, and I sighed, kissing him back. It always amazed me that with just a simple kiss he could make me feel so loved.

After a moment, his lips left mine and he placed soft kisses all over my face; on both cheeks, my eyelids, my forehead and nose.

“Zan,” I whispered.

His lips touched mine again, and even though the kiss was still gentle, there was also more of a demand. For the first time I could tell that he really wanted me, and was working hard to keep his desire in check.

My heart soared, and I felt the familiar butterflies in my stomach that I always got whenever Zan was near. One of his looks, one touch was enough to do it to me.

He continued to kiss me softly, and I opened my mouth, flicking my tongue across his lips. A small growl escaped him and his tongue met mine. His hand slid into my hair, clasping the back of my neck and pulling me to him as he deepened our kiss.

Our tongues dueled together, slipping into each others’ mouths, tasting, exploring. We took brief gasps of air as our lips clashed, but finally we had to break apart.

Zan took a large breath but didn’t release me, instead his lips found my neck. He started out kissing me gently, and I wrapped my arms around him. His lips moved across my throat to just below my ear.

He nibbled and sucked at my skin, drawing gasps from me. Another growl came from him and his teeth scrapped across my throat.

I grasped at his head as my neck automatically arched back, giving him more room. He sucked hard on my throat, and I knew it would leave marks, but I didn’t care because it felt so good.

His kisses moved across my collarbone and to my shoulder, his hand caressing a path his lips followed. When he reached the top of the towel wrapped around me, he lightly traced the edge of it to my back. I felt him move, shifting on the bed until he was behind me.

He kissed one shoulder blade, and scraped his teeth across the other, making me shiver with desire. He brushed my hair aside, and then his lips pressed to the nape of my neck. Slowly he moved down, kissing and nipping along my spine, stopping at the towel.

I think he was going deliberately slow, to be sure I really did want to make love. But I wasn’t going to leave him in any doubt about what I did want. I reached for the edge of the towel wrapped around me and unfastened it, letting it fall to the bed.

Zan groaned and whispered against my skin. “Angel, you are so beautiful.”

He continued down, placing open-mouth kisses all the way along my spine. His hands slid slowly across my skin, caressing my shoulders, over my back, down to my hips, and then started up my sides.

Using just his fingertips, he moved up, barely touching me, as his beard tickled my back. He took soft nips of my skin, then soothed them with his tongue, as his fingers skimmed over my waist and ribs. His mouth reached my shoulder as his hand approached my breasts, and I shivered with anticipation of him touching me.

His teeth scraped across my shoulder, as his fingers just brushed the sides of my breasts. Instantly my nipples hardened and my back arched as I gasped with the sensation.

Zan’s mouth moved up to my neck, and his fingers continued sliding across my ribs to my stomach. His thumbs barely skimmed the edges of my breasts, moving all the way underneath, to the valley in between.

He sucked hard on my neck as his hands moved up, caressing the sides of my soft mounds, teasing the undersides. My back arched more as I reached back to grasp his head, silently begging him to take full possession of my breasts.

Accepting the invitation, he cupped them, kneading them softly, his thumbs tracing my areola. My nipples already hard, drew into even tighter points, aching to be touched.

Finally his thumbs brushed over my sensitive nubs, and I cried out, shuddering in his arms. Zan nipped at my neck as he continued to stroke them. I could feel shocks of electricity all through my body, each of his touches seeming to go straight through to my clit.

Suddenly he growled and released me long enough to move to face me again. Instantly I was in his arms again, and he kissed me hard, trusting his tongue into my mouth. He lowered me back against the bed, lying partially on top of me.

His lips left mine, moving down my throat and across my chest, going straight for my breast. I felt his hot breath an instant before his mouth closed over me. I moaned with pleasure as his tongue brushed across my hard nub, and slid my fingers in his hair, grasping him to me.

Sucking hard, he traced the edge of my breast with his tongue, while his hand gave my other breast the same treatment. He used quick flicks of his tongue and thumb to tease my nipples and I felt moisture pour from my core. The thought flashed through my mind that Zan could probably make me come by just touching my breasts.

My body shifted restlessly as my arousal grew, aching to be touched, and Zan sensed it. With one final lick of his tongue, he left my breast, stopping briefly to take the other into his mouth, and then moved down.

His hands stroked over my sides as he kissed across my stomach. Slowly he moved lower, his teeth grazing my skin until he reached my dark, triangle of curls. His fingers trailed through my hair, and along my thighs, spreading them with soft caresses.

I expected to feel his mouth on my clit, but instead he kissed the inside of my leg. His hands trailed down my leg, and he kissed along the same path, making me jump when his tongue slid across the back of my knee.

He chuckled and continued down, nipping at the back of my calf until he reached my foot, and placed a kiss on the bottom.

Instantly he switched legs, this time starting at my foot and heading up. Again his hands proceeded his mouth, smoothing up my calf to my knee, and across my thigh.

He nipped at my inner thigh, moving slowly up, spreading my legs even wider. When he reached the hollow of my thigh, he paused, and I couldn’t help squirming, anticipating his mouth on me.

His head dipped suddenly, and he took a long lick from my core up to my clit. I moaned softly, my whole body jerking in reaction.

He sucked at my clit and lower lips before plunging his tongue into me. Once, twice, three times he entered me, and then withdrew, brushing my G-spot on the last stroke.

Again he sucked my clit into his mouth, scraping it with his teeth before releasing it. I thought he would go back to my core, but he brushed his chin stud over my clit and started moving up my body.

He licked a line up my stomach, stopping briefly to kiss each breast. Continually moving, he placed kisses over my chest and neck before kissing my chin.

Stopping suddenly, he looked into my eyes. “Are you sure you want to do this, angel?” he said softly. “We don’t have to rush into it.”

I reached up, touching his face. “I’m sure Zan.” With my other hand I skimmed down his back until I found the towel still wrapped around him, and tugged at it. “I want you.”

Zan smiled. He lifted his hips, stripped the towel off, and dropped it to the floor. “I want you too, angel” he whispered.

He cupped my cheek, and leaned down pressing his lips to mine. “I want you so much.”

His hand stroked over my body as he lips met mine again. He kissed me tenderly, deeply, and I could feel his love.

Zan settled over me as he continued to kiss me, aligning our bodies. I was so desperate for him, and his weight on top of me made me wild with desire. I grasped at his back, one hand sliding into his hair, holding him close. I spread my legs wider, and raised my knees so his hard cock pressed against my soaking center.

He growled into my mouth, and started to slowly rock against me. His erection slid from my core to my clit, and back again and again.

It felt so good and I shifted my hips, needing him inside, but he avoided entering me. He kept his motion steady, sliding through my slick folds, and all I could think about was how good it would feel when he was moving in me. I grabbed his ass and arched up.

Zan broke our kiss with a deep chuckle. “Not so fast, angel,” he rumbled. “I’m going to take my time, and love you slow and thorough.”

I kissed his neck. “But come inside,” I whispered. “I want you inside.”

One corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “Anything for you, baby,”

I nearly sighed with relief. My core was already starting to pulse, and I ached to be filled by him.

Moving his hips again, he slid down until the tip of his erection was aligned with my soaking pussy, and holding my eyes, he started to slowly push inside. His thick length stretched me so wonderfully, I couldn’t help smiling.

I love how close to him I always feel when we are so intimately connected. There is nothing standing between us, and it is almost like we are one person. Through his beautiful eyes, I can see what he’s thinking and feeling. I can almost see his soul.

He stopped when he was completely inside me. Reaching up to stroke my cheek, his eyes never left mine. “You know that this isn’t just about sex for me, right angel? I love you. I want to share my life with you.”

Tears filled my eyes. “That’s what I want too,” I whispered. “I want to be with you always.”

Leaning down, he kissed me tenderly as he started to move. So slowly he withdrew from me, every long inch of him caressing my inner walls deliciously. When he was almost all the way out, he changed directions, sliding leisurely back inside.

He kissed me harder as he continued to move, his tongue stroking into my mouth, echoing what his body was doing. He felt so good inching inside me, and I grasped at his muscular back.

His lips left mine, trailing kisses down my neck. Softly he nipped and sucked at my skin and I gasped with pleasure. I was so aroused, that even with his slow pace I was building up quickly.

From my neck his lips went across my chest, tracing my collarbone. He placed open-mouthed kisses over my skin, tasting every inch.

After a moment his kisses moved down to my breast. He sucked it into his mouth, rapidly stroking over my hard nipple with his tongue. The energy surged through me, making my whole body spasm and jerk around Zan, and my fingers dig into his back.

I was so close to climax, but at the same time, I felt I would never get there. I wrapped my legs around him, thrusting my hips up to meet him. “Zan, please,” I begged.

He looked up from my breast, and smiled. “I know, angel,” he purred. But he didn’t change his pace, continuing to slowly stroke into me.

Taking my other breast into his mouth, he sucked it hard. He shifted forward, and his next thrust made him slide over my clit. I whimpered with the intense sensations, and my hands slid across his back.

I could feel Zan starting to shake, and a fine sheen of sweat covered him. He was losing control.

My body arched, and my head thrashed from side to side. My breath came in harsh pants as my core pulsed around Zan’s hard length. I grabbed his ass, trying to get him to go faster.

He groaned, and released my breast. “Shit baby,” he growled.

Leaning down, his lips met mine again, and he increased his pace inside me slightly. Our mouths brushed together, as we attempted to take gasping breaths around the kiss.

He continued his slow rhythm, but I could tell he was barely holding on. The muscles in his chest and arms corded like steel, and each thrust brought a harsh groan from deep in his throat.

I kept my grip on his sculpted ass with one hand, but moved the other to his back, digging my fingers into his muscles, attempting to draw him closer. I thrust my hips forward hard, meeting his every surge, taking him as deep as possible.

Suddenly my whole body tightened and arched, and I knew the end was close.

Zan broke the kiss and lowered his head, thrusting into me hard. His movement slammed our lower bodies together, and caused him to brush over my clit each time.

I gasped with each of his surges, and the pitch of my voice rose unnaturally. My arms and legs clamped around him, as my inner muscles squeezed his thick length.

“Zan!” I called out as the pleasure became unbearable. “Zan!”

He looked up, his eyes meeting mine, and I plunged over the edge.

Electricity surged through my body, and he thrust into me twice more before loosening his control and allowing himself to come. He growled with the release, panting harshly as his hips continued to pump, emptying his hot seed into me. But his eyes never left mine.

Everything he was feeling was so clearly visible in his eyes. I could see worry and tenderness but I could also see all his love and desire. I knew then that I had been silly to think Zan might not love or want me any more.

I had panicked, pure and simple. I suffered needlessly when all I had to do was ask him. I would have been able to see through his eyes, exactly what was on his mind.

I couldn’t stop looking at my angel as she came down from her climax. She was so beautiful to me, especially since I realized I wanted to marry her.

Our lovemaking had ended sooner than I anticipated, but that was okay. I’d let her catch her breath, and then I’d start all over again, and again. We had the whole, long night ahead of us.

I stayed inside her, not wanting to lose the incredible intimacy, as I stroked her cheek. I could clearly see the love shining in her eyes, and I held her gaze, wanting her to have no doubt that I loved her just as much.

A soft smile curved her lips, and she reached up to touch my face.

My eyes never left hers as I cupped her small hand and brought it to my lips, placing a kiss on her palm.

It was true there were some obstacles were in our way that still needed to be resolved, but at this moment they didn’t matter at all. There was simply Liz and me and our love.



I'll try to get the next part out more quickly, but it will probably be at least two or three weeks.
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Re: Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) 3/12 pt5

Post by RoswellOracle » Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:12 pm

Thanks for all the awesome feedback, and all the bumps!

Touched by an alien – thanks, I’m glad it was woth the wait. I always worry. :|
Alien_friend – sorry, you have to wait until the next story for the proposal!
Egyptian_kiss – even though Liz and Zan’s love is intense, I think the insecurity is natural, especially since the relationship is so new. And because it is so special, you would be even more afraid to lose it.
Alex Balex
Tinie38 – if I had Zans to sell, I’d make a fortune :wink:
Natalie36 – so glad you enjoyed
Forever dreamer
Roswell3053 – lol
Veronica – thanks for all your help, and feedback too. That is above & beyond the call of duty. :D
IzzyEvans – lol I think I’ll stay away from the visitation trailers for now. Maybe another time. :twisted:
Zanssoulmate08 – thanks. That is why some of these parts take so long to get out. Lol I’m trying to make sure everything is just right.
XYZ – thank you for the thought provoking feedback, and I’m glad your computer is back up and running. I do try to choose my language carefully, and I’m glad it shows
Temptation_K – yeah, Zan is mushy in love. Lol hope you like the Zan in this part
Jake17 – thanks for the feedback!
Roswell 1/2/00 – thank you so much. I think it is a fine line to walk when having Zan describe his feelings, and I try so hard to avoid corny. I don’t always think I succeed. It is certainly never easy. :D

Okay, on with the story.

This whole part is in Zan’s POV, but I decided to leave it in italics to match the other parts.


Part 6


(Zan’s POV)

I had to run to catch the subway, and barely made it through the door before it slid shut. The train was crowded, there were no available seats, but that wasn’t a problem. I was too wound up to sit anyway. Moving to the back of the car, I grabbed a pole as the car started forward.

It was unusual for me to ride the subway anymore, but the cab drivers don’t like to go to the neighborhood where I was heading. And if I took a cab, I might as well announce my arrival. I wanted to slip in and out, not make a big deal about being there.

I hadn’t been back to the old neighborhood for more than six months. I still had a few friends who lived there, but I felt more and more disconnected as the years passed. My experiences have changed me and shaped my life, and the places where I grew up seemed like they were a million miles away.

Instead of gangs, drugs and violence, my life now included galleries, expensive restaurants, and rich art collectors.

Although, I really wasn’t a part of that world either.

I lived in between the two worlds, which was just what I wanted. I took small journeys into both worlds, but I didn’t stay long. I had a home in a neighborhood I had chosen, and was relatively safe, I had made a success of my art, and of course I had Liz.

As the subway car bounced along, my thoughts automatically returned to Liz. It was inevitable really. She was the main thing on my mind today, not to mention the fact that the last time I had been on the subway had been with her.

And that had definitely been an unforgettable experience.

We’d been so hungry for each other that I’d fucked her right on the train, even though people had been on the car with us. I hadn’t planned to do it, but we had been so aroused we couldn’t wait. I slid inside her wet heat, trying to give us both some relief.

I’d had to be careful, so the others on the subway wouldn’t know what we were doing. I moved inside her so slowly, inching in and out, hoping everyone around us would suddenly leave so I could take her hard and fast.

Damn it had been hot!

I have never experienced anything like sex with Liz. Don’t get me wrong, I’d had been with plenty of women before I met Liz, but with other women it had just been sex; a physical release. I’d enjoyed it, sure, but with Liz it was completely different.

I considered all sex with my angel making love, whether it was slow and sensual, or a fast, hard fuck against a wall. The sensations I have with her are completely new, because we are in love. It made all the difference in the world.

Sex with Liz wasn’t just a physical release, it was a shared experience, a merging of two hearts and souls, an expression of our love for each other. Giving her pleasure and watching her reactions was more important to me than my own climax, and gave me just as much satisfaction.

I couldn’t get enough of her.

Everything about her turned me on. I loved the way her body moved, the sounds she made, the look of pure ecstasy on her face when she came. And I especially loved how much she wanted me.

And she had definitely proved how much she wanted me in the last twenty-four hours.

After we had come home from my gallery opening and I had bathed Liz, we’d made love for hours before finally sleeping. When we woke up, I slid inside her, taking her before breakfast, and then again afterward.

I was worried she might still be upset, so I suggested we spend a leisurely day, perhaps shopping, or lunch in the park, or just hanging out around the loft. But as I looked down at her, where she lay beside me in bed, a wide smile had crossed Liz’s face.

She leaned in, placing a kiss on my chest. “I think we should stay in bed all day,” she said in a low purr.

I would have jumped at the chance no matter what, but the ultra-sexy tone of her voice hardened my whole body instantly.

We had made love many times, only stopping occasionally for food and drinks, and a bubble bath that quickly turned into aquatic sex Olympics.

The whole day was wonderful, spending all our time together, tasting, touching, exploring. It was almost like a honeymoon. But I was sure I’d never forget what my angel had done after dinner.

I had Thai food delivered and pulled on a pair of boxers to answer the door. Liz slid on one of my t-shirts, and even though it was way too big and hung almost to her knees, I thought it was one of the sexiest things I had ever seen her wear.

All through dinner my eyes kept returning to her. I couldn’t help thinking that she didn’t have anything on underneath.

The shirt skimmed over her body, defining her curves and contours. It outlined her breasts, clearly showing her tight nipples, and dipped in across her stomach. Moving lower it draped over her thighs, riding dangerously high, but somehow still shielding her.

I wanted to strip it over her head, and have my way with her where she sat, but I showed an enormous amount of control, limiting myself to simply looking.

Of course that didn’t stop Liz from noticing that I was looking at her, and as we finished eating, a wicked smile raised the corners of her mouth.

She leaned in closer to me. “Zan, I’ve been thinking,” she paused, and a blush spread over her cheeks.

Obviously she’d been thinking about something sexual. She was still shy sometimes when it came to asking for what she wanted, and that was pretty much the only time she blushed.

I put my hand on her knee and slowly moved up her thigh. “What have you been thinking, angel?”

“Well,” she said, dropping her eyes, “there’s a drawing in your sketchbook, and it’s not exactly sexual.” Her eyes moved up, meeting mine. “But it has kinda made me wonder.”

Now I was smiling too. I moved my hand up even farther so it disappeared under the shirt, between her thighs. “Which drawing is it?” I asked, my voice low with desire.

She gasped as I touched her clit. “It’s one of the first ones you showed me,” she said breathlessly. “I’m laying across the arm of the sofa.”

I nodded, stroking her nub slowly. I knew exactly which one she was talking about. I leaned forward. “And you’re completely naked,” I prompted.

Her eyes dropped again, and she continued, “Yeah, and I wondered…” she trailed off.

My smile widened, and I leaned in even closer, so we were only inches apart. “And you wondered what it would be like if I fucked you there,” I finished for her.

She blushed furiously, but her eyes snapped to mine, and she nodded.

Closing the distance between us, I brushed her lips with mine. “There’s just one thing wrong, angel.”

“What’s that?” she whispered.

I stroked over her clit again. “You are wearing too many clothes.”

She pressed her lips to mine. Her hand stroked down my chest and across my abs, and with one finger, she snapped the waistband of my boxers. “So are you,” she purred.

I smiled, reaching for her, but she moved back, staying away from me, and stood up.

I got to my feet too. “Where you going, baby?”

She backed toward the couch, and suddenly reached down, grabbing the hem of her shirt and stripping it over her head. Her beautiful body was completely revealed to me and I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me.

I stopped, watching as she climbed onto the sofa, positioning herself over the arm just like she was in my drawing. She leaned forward so that she rested on her arms, her breasts brushing the leather, and her sweet ass stuck up at a tempting angle. Damn she was beautiful!

Her shyness was evaporating quickly, and she gave me another wicked smile. “Aren’t you coming?”

Was she kidding? I thought I might cum right where I was standing!

She may have wondered about sex on the sofa, but this scene we were enacting was almost exactly what I had pictured when I had drawn it. In fact it was even better.

Pushing my boxers to the floor, I started toward her, climbing up on the sofa behind her.

I love taking her from behind, but like all positions, it had good and bad points. The main bad one was that I couldn’t kiss her lips while we were making love. But there were plenty of other places I could kiss.

Leaning down, I scrapped my teeth over the globe of her ass, and the spicy scent of her arousal filled my nose. Oh yeah, there were definitely good points.

I kissed the small of her back, savoring, nipping gently at her skin and then used my tongue to soothe it. My hands went to her silky legs, stroking up the outsides before moving to her inner thighs. Her skin was so soft under my hands, and I took my time, touching her, as I urged her legs apart.

Moving forward, I fitted my body to hers, putting a little of my weight on her. I pressed my already hard cock against her wet pussy, and leaned down so my chest covered her back. I kissed her neck near her ear. “Is this what you had in mind, angel?”

She reached back touching my cheek. “I did think you would be inside.”

I smiled. “Not yet, baby. I want to make sure you get the full experience.”

“And what’s that?” she teased.

I kissed her neck again. “Well,” I started, “I didn’t just do the drawing out of nowhere.” I kissed her neck harder. “In my mind I had a whole story around it.”

“Oh no,” Liz sighed, “and I’ve just ruined your fantasy.”

“Ruined?” I asked amazed. “No angel, you’ve made it even better.”

She smiled. “So what happens in your fantasy?”

“First,” I paused, kissing the nape of her neck, “I kiss,” I kissed between her shoulder blades, ”and nibble,” I grazed my teeth down her spine, ”as much of your soft skin,” I kissed a line back up, “as I can reach.”

She gasped, “And then what?”

“Mmmm,” I growled, stroking up the inside of her thighs. “Then,” I moved my hands up to her stomach, ”I touch,“ my fingers slid up her ribs, “and tease,” I stopped just below her breasts, “as much of you as I can.”

“Tease?” she asked breathlessly.

“Oh yes,“ I kissed her neck again. “When I touch you,” I traced the underside of her breasts, “even in the most innocent places,” I moved back down to her stomach, “I know you’re thinking about,” I smoothed over her hips, “my hands on other places.”

“In your fantasy,” she gasped, “do I beg you to touch me?”

I rubbed my stubbly cheek between her shoulder blades. “Oh yeah, angel.”

“Zan,” she purred, “touch me, please.”

Again I slid my hands up her ribs, stopping under her breasts, but I only waited a moment, before cupping her soft mounds. I felt a shiver of desire rip through her, and nipped at her back again as I stroked my thumbs over her tight nipples.

Another small gasp escaped her, and her hips pushed back into mine, her slick core pressing against my erection.

“Then what?” she moaned softly.

I moved my hands to her hips, holding her, “Then,” I started to pump my hips, so my cock slid against her wet pussy, “I drive you so wild,” I nipped at her neck, “that you beg me,” I reached down to stroke her clit, “to take you.”

“Yes,” she breathed. “And how did I beg you? Did I ask you to make love to me?” She started to move with me “Or did I say, fuck me, Zan?”

I groaned. “Baby, you had a filthy mouth, because you wanted me so much.”

“Please Zan,” she begged, “I need your big cock inside me. I need you to fuck me. Please fuck my pussy good and hard.”

My cock jerked. “Shit angel,” I growled. She was making my fantasy come true even better than I had even imagined.

I couldn’t have waited any longer even if I wanted to. I took myself in hand, and slowly pushed forward, sliding inside her.

“Oh,” she moaned, “you always feel so good,”

I nipped at her shoulder blade, stopping deep inside her. I was so aroused I had to take a moment or I’d cum. Breathing hard, I slid my hands up and down her sides, as I kissed her neck.

She started to wiggle her hips against me, making my cock move inside her slightly. I groaned with the sensation of her tight, wet heat sliding along my length. It was too much.

“And how did you take me?” she gasped.

I pulled out of her slowly so she would feel every inch, and when only the head of my cock was left inside her, I changed directions and with a single, powerful thrust, slammed back inside. “Hard, baby,” I said, pulling out again. “Good and hard,” I slammed inside her again, “just like I know you want it.”

“Oh yes,” she breathed.

I set a fast rhythm, pumping into her so that my entire length sank deep inside her each time. Reaching up, I took her breasts in my hands, holding them to keep her close, stroking over her nipples.

Her body moved with mine, arching, straining to keep up and meet my thrusts. Her breath was coming in quick pants.

“Did I ask you to fuck me even harder?” she gasped. “Harder.”

“Every time,” I growled, moving even faster. “You always want to get fucked harder.” I slammed our lower bodies together, and she cried out with pleasure.

I reached forward, grasping her hands, interlacing our fingers. Our bodies moved together, perfectly in time, straining toward climax.

I felt her body start to tighten, and her muscles fluttered around me. A moment later she came apart in my arms. I followed her almost immediately, cuming inside her tight pussy.

For a moment, neither of us moved as we attempted to catch our breath. I grasped her hands tightly. Even though I couldn’t see her face, I felt so close to her. I kissed her neck again, just enjoying the fantasy my angel had given me. She was amazing.

Carefully I pulled out of her, and wrapped her in my arms, turning her to settle in my lap. I stroked her hair, as my eyes roamed over her beautiful face. She was sweating and flushed with passion, her eyes were almost black, and her face clearly showed her complete satisfaction. She looked well loved, and I thought she had never been more beautiful. I kissed her forehead.

Her eyes held mine, and she reached up to touch my face. “So in your fantasy,” she said, still breathless, “I must have come.”

I kissed her forehead again. “Almost as sweetly as you did now, angel.”

Leaning down, I pressed my lips to hers. She kissed me lingeringly, and then pulled back to meet my eyes again.

“I know something else that happened in your fantasy,” she whispered.

“What’s that?” I asked with a smile.

She stroked my cheek, still holding my eyes. “In you fantasy, I must have said, ‘I love you, Zan.’”

I smiled wider. “You’re absolutely right, baby, and I said, ‘I love you too.’”

The reality of being with Liz was always better than fantasy, and in that case the reality had blown my fantasy away. It was one of the best nights we’d ever had.

We made love again went we woke up this morning, but it was slow and through, mostly because I had the constant nagging thought that it could be our last time ever.

I had waited an entire extra day to tell Liz the truth about my past, but I didn’t feel I could wait any longer. So after we showered, dressed, and eaten breakfast, I led my angel to the sofa, sat beside her, and told her everything.

Maybe my timing was completely wrong, but it had to be done. I didn’t want to cause Liz more anxiety, but my instincts told me to go ahead.

I started softly. “Danny must have told you something about my past when he was here. And you must have some questions for me.”

Liz’s eyes widened slightly, and she shook her head, but I wasn’t going to let the subject go this time.

“Angel, I am certainly not proud of a lot of things I did when I was younger, but you deserve to know about my past,” I said. “So tell me what Danny accused me of, and ask me your questions, and I’ll tell you the whole truth. It’s not pretty, but I want you to know everything.”

I waited silently, watching her. She looked around, her eyes lighting on everything in the room but me. I could practically feel the conflict inside her head. She wanted to know the truth, but at the same time feeling like she was being disloyal to me by asking. She didn’t want to believe anything Danny said about me, but undoubtedly some or all of what he told her was true.

With a quick glance at me, finally she spoke. “He said you lived together four years.”

“Actually it was just over three years,” I said smiling. Trust my angel to start with the innocuous facts and work up to the big stuff. “I lived with him and the Johnsons from fourteen to eighteen. It was the eighth foster home I’d been in”

Her eyes snapped to mine. “You were in eight different homes?” she asked, sounding shocked and horrified.

“Yeah,” I said, with a shrug. “I was a bit of a problem kid. When the foster families would get sick of me, they would just ship me off to the next one.”

“That’s awful,” Liz said, tears gathering in her eyes.

“A lot of them didn’t care about the foster kids at all, they just wanted the monthly check. And even as a little kid, you can definitely feel that. I never felt wanted or loved. In a couple of places I got slapped around too. So I spent a lot of time escaping into my own world, drawing, and I acted out, a lot.”

“What did you do?” she breathed.

“You name it,” I said truthfully. “I did it all. I started out small, skipping school, vandalism, shoplifting, fighting. I didn’t care about anything or anyone, not even myself.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and I reached up, wiping it away.

She held my eyes. “Didn’t anyone try to help you?”

“A few of them cared,” I said with a shrug. “Some of them even tried, but I didn’t believe any of it was real. I didn’t trust anyone, so I just did whatever I wanted. Most of the time I ran wild.”

“I was smart enough not to get caught in anything too big, but I did spend a couple of nights in jail. And I thought that is how it was going to be for me,” I continued, “drugs, drinking, meaningless relationships, crime and jail. I didn’t see another path for my life.”

“Zan,” her voice was a whisper, as she touched my arm.

She was sad and concerned for me, but I took a breath, preparing to tell the worst. “I was fourteen, and I got busted again. The family I was living with had enough of my shit, and I got sent to the Johnson’s. That’s where I met Danny. And by that time I was a jaded criminal, so he really knew me at my lowest.”

Liz didn’t say anything, but her hand slid into mine, and I kept going.

“I was in a new house, but I was doing the same shit. Danny was right there with me, and he loved it. He loved having someone to cause trouble with. For a while, we pretty much ran the neighborhood together. But I never really liked him.”

I couldn’t help a small laugh. “Believe it or not, I did have some scruples. Danny was cruel, and he liked to hurt people. I didn’t approve of a lot of the things he did, especially the way he treated women.”

“Sure, I got in plenty of fights, but the guys knew what they were getting into. Danny was a bully, beating up people who were smaller, or couldn’t defend themselves. I had to pull him off a few kids, so he didn’t really hurt them. And once he beat his girlfriend so bad, I had to take her to the hospital.”

“So Danny and I did hang out at first, but as I got to know him, the less I liked him. We were never really friends. I thought he was an asshole, and my opinion of him only got worse.”

“And you might think that’s when my life started turning around, but I got into even worst shit. I was never in a gang, never sold drugs, not exactly, but I used to run errands for the dealers to earn money and drugs.”

Liz gasped but didn’t speak, and after a moment I continued.

“I knew it was wrong though. I guess it was rock bottom for me, and I really felt disgusted with myself. Looking back, I think that was the first time I realized I wanted something better for my life, even if I didn’t know what that was.”

“But it was a new area, new school, and that’s where everything started to change for me. I had kept up with my drawing, even with my budding criminal career. At the start of the next school year I signed up for an art class, and that’s where I discovered painting.”

Liz squeezed my hand.

“I liked painting, and I was good at it. And it made me start to see that there was something else out there. There was more to the world, and more to life.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t change overnight,” I admitted. “I used to break into the school to get more time to paint. And instead of stealing shit to get money for drugs, or beer, or whatever, I’d steal to buy paints and supplies.”

“About then though, I realized I needed to stay in school if I wanted to keep painting.”

“School was always pretty easy for me, and I had ok grades, but all my shit had gotten me pretty close to being kicked out a couple of times. So I stopped skipping, followed the rules mostly, went to all my classes, and did my homework. And I discovered I actually liked school and learning, and started getting pretty decent grades.”

“So I was able to keep painting, and people liked my stuff too. I won a couple of contests and started getting some recognition, and you might think that would have cured me of my wild ways, but it didn’t. I was young, and stupid, and spoiled by the attention. I indulged and over-indulged, more drugs and drinking and empty relationships.”

“But it made me proud I could create a painting that really meant something to me. And it felt wrong to steal so I could paint, so I got a legit job. That really was the start of cleaning up my life.”

“It felt good to earn my supplies. I also liked the hard work I had to put in on my paintings. I stopped doing drugs, and really cut down on drinking, because I couldn’t do my best work when I was high.”

Liz had been silent for so long, the sound of her voice practically made me jump. “But what made you want to change?” she asked softly.

I shrugged. “There wasn’t a specific event or a defining moment, if that’s what you mean, angel. It just gradually happened. I didn’t like who I was, and I realized I wasn’t happy living such an empty life. I wanted to be a different person, a good person. And the hard work I was putting in on my painting taught me that I really could change everything with a bit of effort.”

“And what about the Johnsons?” she asked. “Did they try to help you? Were they some of the good fosters?”

I had to smile. “They did care, yes. They believed in second chances, even eighth chances in my case. That’s why they took me in. Almost all the kids they had were problem kids.”

“For people with so much experience with troubled kids though, they were amazingly naïve. They didn’t know about half of what was going on right under their noses. So they really weren’t able to help me much.”

“But I did learn one thing from them. Even with all the shit the kids put them through, and all the problems that caused for them, they were really in love with each other. I watched them together, and it made me want that for myself instead of the empty relationships I had. And eventually I realized I wanted to be a better person to deserve that kind of love.”

I stroked over the soft skin of Liz’s hand with my thumb, feeling somewhat relieved. She hadn’t pulled away from me, even with the ugly truth in front of her. Of course I had glossed over some parts, especially my relationships with other women. I’d tell her if she asked, but I didn’t think she needed to hear about that.

I searched her face, trying to figure out what she was thinking. “What other questions do you have for me, baby?” I said softly.

“None,” she whispered, meeting my eyes. “Thank you for telling me. It couldn’t have been easy reliving it.”

“I don’t mind,” I said truthfully. “You can ask me whatever you want.”

She nodded, looking down at our clasped hands. “I know.”

“Do you want to ask me about anything Danny told you?”

“No,” she said softly. “You told me everything.”

She squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry I kept asking you Zan,” she said. “You didn’t want to talk about it, and I shouldn’t have forced you.”

“You didn’t force me to do anything,” I assured her. “I wanted you to know.”

She didn’t say anything and I felt my chest tighten. She was sorry she’d asked me. Was she horrified by my past?

I could practically hear her mind running as she thought about what I had told her, and I just didn’t know how it would turn out.

I was torn about what I should do. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and make sure that she was okay, and she didn’t leave me. I wanted to lock the door, and take her back to bed, making love to her over and over until neither of us could move.

But another part of me knew that she needed some time to think. She had to decide if she could live with what I had done, and who I used to be.

If she really wanted to leave, I couldn’t stop her. In the time we had been together, I’d learned I couldn’t force Liz to do anything. I could coax and seduce, but in the end it was her choice to stay or leave.

If she did leave, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try to change her mind. She was mine, and I would do whatever I had to do to get her back. But for now I had to give her some space.

Kissing the side of her head, I inhaled deeply so that her scent filled my nose. “I love you, angel,” I whispered. “I’m going to run an errand, to give you some time to think.”

I stood up quickly before I could change my mind, and saw the look of surprise cross her face. Somehow I couldn’t even bear to say aloud my fear that she might not be in the loft when I got back, but I needed to make sure she was safe. She might be in shock, and act without thinking.

I’d had terrifying visions of her flying home to her parents, or even worse, storming out of the loft, dragging a hastily packed suitcase down the street, looking for a place to stay. She didn’t know the area that well, didn’t have any close friends she could depend on or turn to for help, and I had to make sure she didn’t panic and do something foolish. I had to do everything I could to keep her safe.

Taking a piece of paper out of my pocket, I pressed it into her hand. “This is my agent Steve’s cell phone number. He always answers it.”

My throat felt like it was closing and I attempted to clear it with a rasping cough. “If you need anything, angel, you can call him. He’ll take care of you. I’ve made sure of it.”

If she did leave, hopefully she would call Steve for help, and he could keep her safe. I’d arranged everything with him. He could also tell me where she’d gone, so I wouldn’t have to waste time looking for her.

Liz looked at me like I was speaking a different language. I forced a smile. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

I grabbed my jacket and keys, and with one last look at Liz, closed the door behind me.

Almost immediately I wanted to go back inside, actually stopping with my arm outstretched toward the door, but I forced myself to leave.

Maybe it was insane. Maybe I should have stayed and fought for her, but I had a feeling I was doing the right thing, and headed straight for the subway

I’d told Liz was going on an errand, and it was one hundred percent true. While Liz was thinking, and possibly leaving me, I was going to see Danny to ensure her safety. Even if Liz did leave, he might still be a danger to her unless I stopped him.

But as much as I wanted to concentrate on every moment of my life with Liz, and try to recall every detail about her, I had to stop for now.

I dragged my thoughts away from her to focus on what I was currently doing. Looking up, I noticed I was only two stops away from my destination, and my mind snapped back to the purpose of my errand.


It had only taken a couple of phone calls to find out everything I needed to know about Danny; where he lived and worked, his entire schedule, his friends, what he did in his time off. As I suspected, he wasn’t well liked, and the people I had talked to were eager to give him up.

Two of my friends, who still lived in the old neighborhood, had offered to go with me and watch my back. Over the years Danny had managed to piss off just about everyone he knew, and many of them were just looking for an excuse to wail on him.

But I had declined the company. Things might get out of control. I didn’t need the backup, and I wanted Danny to see I was confident enough to come alone.

I’d timed my trip so I’d get to Danny’s work just before he left for lunch. I’d specifically picked the place to give me an advantage. It was unlikely he’d have a weapon on him, there’d be no friends to back him up, and he wouldn’t want to start shit in front of his boss.

I didn’t want to get him fired, not unless it was necessary, so I planned on keeping our ‘talk’ civilized. But anger rushed up inside me every time I thought about what he’d done to Liz, and what he could have done.

My instinct was to beat Danny to a pulp. I wanted to repeatedly smash my fist into his face until he was bruised and bloody, but I was also ashamed of the impulse. Here I was, trying to prove to Liz that I had changed, and my first thought was to commit assault.

I wanted to be a better person than that, someone who didn’t have to resort to violence to solve problems. Someone who was smart enough to find another way out. Liz deserved someone like that.

But I also knew violence was a language Danny understood. Possibly the only language he understood, and the only way to get through to him. But a beating would only stop him until the fear wore off. Fortunately, I did have another card to play.

The train rolled to a stop and I exited with the others, taking the steps up to the street two at a time. My whole body was rushing with energy, anger, excitement, anticipation, and even fear. Not fear of Danny, I knew I could take him. But fear of what Liz might do.

Even at this moment, she could be stuffing her things into a suitcase.

I let out a sigh, pushing thoughts of her to the back of my mind. I had to take care of Danny first, then I would be free to concentrate all of my attention on Liz.

The subway took me within two blocks of the building were Danny was working a restoration job. I used to know the area like the back of my hand. I’d lived just a few blocks in the other direction, and it had been to my advantage to know every alley, back exit and shortcut available if I didn’t want to get caught on my various ‘adventures’.

At the time, I had known them all, but I arrived early just to give myself a few minutes to look around and make sure things hadn’t changed. I didn’t plan on this confrontation turning into a chase, but it was best to have all the options covered.

When I was satisfied the area was the same as I remembered, I took up position in a shadowed doorway across the street from Danny’s building, and waited.

Only a few minutes had passed when the workers started filing out of the building. I watched closely, and finally Danny emerged, one of the last out.

Instantly the anger leapt inside me like flames. I started across the street, calling out to get his attention. “Yo, Danny!”

He turned, and a grin raised the corners of his mouth. “Zan. I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. The bastard obviously thought I was coming to pay him off.

As I approached him, I was filled with rage. I couldn’t stop thinking about what he had done to Liz, how much he had scared her, how he had grabbed her and forced her to kiss him, leaving the nasty bruise on her arm.

Danny wasn’t a big guy, but he was tall, almost as tall as me, and certainly much bigger than Liz. He would have towered over her, using his size to intimidate and easily overpower her.

And he hadn’t just terrorized Liz, he had insulted me. He had come into my house and touched my woman. Basically he was telling me that he thought I was soft, and I couldn’t protect what was mine.

Undoubtedly his actions had been focused on me. He had just used Liz to get to me, but that made me even angrier. Liz was the most important person in the world to me, and Danny had used her like a pawn.

Over and over again, I told myself to calm down, but I couldn’t stop the image of the bruise on Liz’s arm running through my head.

Danny must have finally seen some of my anger too, because his smile faded and he took a step back. But I didn’t stop. All of my good intentions had already left me, and I stepped into him, punching him right in the face.

I put all of my fury behind my fist and it connected squarely with his jaw, sending him to the ground. I felt an instant rush of satisfaction, and I itched to hit him again.

“Fuck, Zan!” He put a hand to his bleeding lip, and another smile crossed his face. “I guess that spit-fire of yours told you what happened.”

“She told me plenty,” I growled.

Danny started to get up, but I shook my head. “Stay down,” I warned, “or I might not be able to resist the urge to punch you again.”

He smiled wider but sat on a step. “Better be nicer to me, Zan,” he said with a laugh, “or I might just start talking. If that fine college girl knew some of the shit you did, she would leave you in a second.”

This time it was my turn to smile. “I’ve already told her everything.”

The look of shock on Danny’s face was almost comical, but then a knowing smile curved his lips. “No way. No fucking way you told her everything.”

I shrugged. “Believe what you want, but before you start making threats again, you should think about stuff I know that you wouldn’t want to get out.”

He shook his head. “So what. You know about some petty stuff I did when I was a kid. Nobody cares about that shit.”

“Maybe,” I said, watching him closely, “but I know other stuff too.”

I motioned to the building where he was working with a jerk of my head. “One thing I know is that equipment and supplies go missing a lot on these jobs where you work.”

He paled a little.

“If that got out,” I continued, you could lose your job, maybe do some time.

I shrugged again. “But I’m sure a few years in Rikers is no big deal to a tough guy like you.”

His face was getting red now, he was angry. “Shit Zan, you’re going to rat me out? I’ve got much worse on you.”

Suddenly he leapt to his feet, getting in my face, “If you don’t pay me for that smack you stole from me, I’ll turn you in for dealing.”

His arm moved, and I wasn’t really sure if he was throwing a punch or not, but my reaction was automatic, instinctive. I blocked his arm, and hit him again, catching him in the eye and he fell back onto the sidewalk.

“Stay the fuck down!” I ordered.

I was holding on to my control by a thread as it was. If he provoked me any more, I just might give in to temptation and beat the shit out of him.

Leaning over him, I continued with a grin. “You ain’t gonna do shit, Danny, because you don’t have shit. I didn’t sell that heroin, I turned it over to the cops.”

“Damn, Zan,” he groaned, with his hand over his eye. “What’d you do that for?”

I sighed. “I took it from you so you wouldn’t sell it to the kids in the neighborhood.”

A scowl crossed his face. “Since when did you get all righteous? You did plenty of drugs.”

“Not smack,” I said, shaking my head. “Never smack. And besides, I probably saved your ass getting rid of that shit, you stupid fuck.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded. “You weren’t worried I’d OD.”

“No,” I admitted, “not really. But I know where you got it.”

He looked like I’d punched him again. “How do you know that?” he asked, his voice strangled.

I shrugged, “Does it really matter? The point is, the guy you stole that junk from would have noticed some extra product on the street, and it wouldn’t have taken a genius to trace it back to you.”

“You’re bluffing,” Danny said suddenly. “You don’t know shit. You just didn’t want me to have the money, that’s all. I say you still owe me.”

“I know who you stole it from all right,” I said. “I even know you fucked his girlfriend. Which do you think he’d be more pissed about? He married that girl not long after. Still married to her from what I’ve heard.”

All the color drained from Danny’s face this time.

“I tell him what I know,” I said with a smile, “and the next time anyone sees you is when they’re fishing your bloated body outta the river.”

Danny looked mad again, and I couldn’t blame him. I’d just taken away all of his ammo, but I knew him too well. He still wouldn’t leave it alone.

I met his eyes. “Don’t get any bright ideas. If anything happens to me or Liz, there are other people who know too. And don’t think they’ll bother going to the cops. They’ll just go straight to the source.”

Danny opened his mouth, but I held up a hand, and he stayed silent.

“I don’t want to hear from you, and I don’t want to see you. You see me across the street, you go the other way. And if you come anywhere near Liz again, nothing will stop me from fucking you up.

After a moment, he gave a curt nod. He was still mad, but at last I could tell we had an understanding.

I turned my back on him, walking away.

Now that I was finished with Danny, anger was draining out of me and fear was taking over. I’d never felt anything like it. I’d never been afraid of much of anything.

I knew what the cause was, of course, and suddenly I had the overwhelming need to get home and see if Liz was still there.

I couldn’t waste time on the subway. It was too slow, I’d lose my mind. So I jogged the few blocks out of the heart of the neighborhood to a main street, and flagged down a cab.

Briefly I considered calling Liz’s cell phone, but I didn’t know if she would answer, and finding out she had left me that way would be devastating.

No, I’d simply wait until I got home.

I know Liz loves me, but I was worried about what I had told her. She has lived a sheltered life, and she was obviously shocked by my past.

Would she be able to accept the things I had done? And if so, would she fear me, or feel disgusted? Would she still be able to respect and love me? Would things be the same between us?

Would she even be in the loft when I got back?

I pushed the thoughts away. I couldn’t think like that. I knew Liz and I belonged together, and I had to trust that our love was strong enough to get through this.

But even so, I couldn’t help thinking that the sex we had this morning might be our last for a while, and I was already going through withdrawls. My whole body craved her.

It was even more amazing that she had as much an appetite for sex as I did. I would have considered myself lucky if we only experienced our incredible lovemaking once a week, but my angel desired me just as much as I wanted her. We couldn’t get enough of each other.

And it wasn’t just the sex. I love everything about her; the way she moves, her dark, soulful eyes, the way she looks at me, the sound of her voice, the scent of her hair, the way we could talk about anything, even the simple pleasure of being in the same room with her.

But that was also why I was so worried.

I had been in a lot of empty relationships, relationships that had only been about sex and what the women could get from me. And now that I had found the real thing, I didn’t ever want to let it go.

Liz loves me, and desires me, but she’s never been in love before, never slept with anyone else, and I was worried that she might not realize how special our bond was. She might think all relationships are this incredible, and leave what we have, thinking she could easily find it again.

I had never felt so helpless in my life. I was used to having a plan, a direction, but I had no control over this situation.

If it had been anyone else who didn’t accept me for just who I was, I would have said fuck ‘em. I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. Except Liz.

I had been waiting for her all of my life, even before I knew what I was waiting for. I had changed for her, cleaned up my life in anticipation of meeting her. And now that I finally had her, I didn’t want to lose another moment of our time together.

But I couldn’t stop Liz from leaving if that was what she really wanted. I just had wait and see what happened. If she did leave though, I’d do anything I had to do to get her back.

My mind had been racing with things I could do, romantic gestures, pledges of love, ways I could seduce her back into my bed. In my fight for her, I certainly wasn’t going to discount sex. I’d use anything I could, and sex was a powerful temptation because our lovemaking was always incredible. I knew just how to touch her, how to turn her on so she was desperate for me, and I knew just how to make her cum.

Yes, I reassured myself, if she did leave I wouldn’t stop until I won her back. I had to keep fighting. I didn’t want to live without her.

The cab stopped in front of our building, bringing me back to the present. I couldn’t believe I was home already. I’d been so anxious to arrive, and now it seemed too soon.

Handing the driver some bills, I got out and headed inside.

All the air seemed to have been sucked from my lungs as I rode up in the elevator. I was taking deep breaths to try and keep my nervousness at bay.

Finally the elevator arrived on our floor and I walked forward. My heart pounded in my chest as I stopped in front of the door. The key was in my hand, stretched out, but I was afraid to open it. Afraid of what I would find, or more specifically, who I wouldn’t find.

But of all the things I’ve been in my life, a coward has never been one of them.

Liz loved me, and she is an incredibly generous person. She would be there, I told myself. She would give me a chance.

I put the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

It was dark inside, the only light streaming in from the windows, and my heart sank. My eyes darted around the room. Liz was nowhere in sight, but there were no signs of hasty packing either. Had she left?

Stepping inside, I closed the door behind me. “Angel,” I called out. “Are you here?”


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Re: Mind of an Artist-Nude Studies 5 (UC, Z/L, Adult) 5/3 AN

Post by RoswellOracle » Wed May 21, 2008 9:29 pm

Thank you so much to everyone for reading. And a special thanks to those that came to the Support Stacie chat. It was lots of fun.

Alien_Friend – yes, that is the last of Danny. As for Liz…
Touched by an alien – well you know what they say, you can take the boy outta the hood…
Jake17 – I had to throw in a cliffhanger. I don’t get the chance that often. lol
Roswell3053 – that would have made a good ending too!
Forever dreamer
Dreaming in Purple
XYZ – Danny is stubborn, but not that stupid. He knows Zan means exactly what he said. And Zan’s art did give him something to live for, and indirectly it brought him Liz.
Ellie – ah, the sketchbook, gotta love it!
Alex Balex
Roswellian love
Kyliemou – thank you so much! I can just picture you reading the subway sex scenes on the subway!

I’ll answer the most frequent questions I get, so you won’t be left in suspense.

Yes, there will be one more story in this series, but it will be a while.

Next, I will be posting the 3rd story in the Cravings series. That is Zan/Liz/Max, for those of you who aren’t familiar with them. I am hoping to get the first part up in about a month.

Seems like I’m always apologizing for the length of time between parts. My only defense is that I am trying to get them just right.

Hope you all enjoy, and it was worth the wait!


Part 7


(Zan’s POV)

“Angel,” I called out. “Are you here?”

There were absolutely no sounds inside the loft. It felt empty.

I had been so sure she would be waiting for me, but now doubt was filling me up.

“Liz!” I called out more loudly.

I rushed into the bedroom, looking anxiously around. There were no signs of packing in here either. All of her clothes were in the closet, her stuff was in the bathroom, but Liz was definitely gone.

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.

My angel had been horrified or scared by my past, and left me.

Slowly I walked back into the main room, and briefly looked around for a note, but there was nothing. She’d left without saying a word.

Feeling absolutely defeated, I sank down into a chair. Roughly I scrubbed my hands over my face, and dragged them through my hair.

How could I have been so wrong?

I had been so sure she wouldn’t leave me. I’d counted on her kind heart and generosity to give me a chance, counted on our love.

I’d been so sure I knew her better.

The argument could be made that you never really knew anyone, but I was sure I knew Liz. She is so open and honest with everything in her life. She didn’t know how to hide anything from me. She didn’t have to.

And we talked all the time. Not just about the latest movie, or celebrity romance, we really talked. We confided in each other, shared our hopes and dreams, shared everything.

Of course, we came from completely different worlds. Even if she hadn’t told me about her past, I would have known. It was written all over her.

She had grown up with two parents who adored her, in a middle class neighborhood where bad things hardly ever happened. She had middle class neighbors with good little sons and daughters. She had gone to a middle class school, shopped in middle class stores.

Not once had she ever been scared, or hungry, or in doubt of who she was, or her place in the world, or wondered if she was loved. Not once had she been told she was stupid or weak, or that she couldn’t achieve her dreams.

And the only exposure she’d had to people like me had been to pass us on the street as her protective parents hurried her away, or the few rough kids at school who hung out away from the privileged students, or possibly she had served them as she worked in her parents cafe.

She’d certainly never been friends with them, never really known them. Her parents had worked hard to keep her away from that world. My world.

And I couldn’t blame them. I wanted to protect her from that world too. The only reason I’d told her about it was because I felt she deserved to know exactly who I was, and what I had come from.

Danny, the neighborhood, the stealing, violence and drugs, that was all part of me, and I couldn’t deny it, but it wasn’t how I chose to live anymore. I had escaped that worthless existence, and built the life I have now with hard work. That is what I wanted her to understand. I knew what the old life held, and I never wanted to go back.

A shiver tore through me.

Already I could feel the emptiness filling me up inside. I hadn’t felt it since before I met Liz, and I never thought I’d feel it again. Being with her had chased all those feelings away. She made everything better, like the sun coming out after a long, cold winter. She made me feel really alive.

But it made the emptiness inside me now even worse, because I knew how it felt to have her in my life.

I had to have back. She made my life worth living.

I scrubbed at my face again. I couldn’t let myself get defeated. We would be together again. I wouldn’t stop until we were.

Sure, things seemed bad now, but we could get past it. Even though we were so different, I was sure our love was strong enough to survive this. I just had to show Liz that I wasn’t going to give up. I’d fight for her, using all of the weapons at my disposal.

I had visions of sending her bouquets of her favorite flowers, coaxing her to come with me on a picnic, or for a walk, or to dinner, somewhere, anywhere I could get her alone. I could see her beautiful face, gauge her reactions, explain, coax, seduce. She’d be resistant, maybe angry or confused, but I’d remind her why were so good together, how much we love each other, and how much pleasure I could give her.

I imagined cupping her velvety cheek, slowly drawing her to me. The sweet scent of hair filled my nose as I fit my lips to hers, kissing her for the first time, again.

My imagination didn’t stop there, of course. I pictured myself stripping off every piece of her clothing, so her naked body pressed against mine. My hands moved over her silky skin, as I found her breast with my mouth.

I knew exactly where to touch and stoke her, where to kiss and suck, exactly how to drive her crazy. Her body always came alive under my touch, opening to me, inviting me inside.

And I wouldn’t make her wait. I’d slide my cock deep into her and concentrate only on her pleasure, making her cum again and again until she begged me to stop.

Yes. Once I had her in our bed again, she was mine.

Shit, I wanted her so much.

I’d just had her this morning, but I didn’t know how I was going to survive even one day without her.

Glancing at my watch, I realized I hadn’t even been gone two hours. Liz must have simply left, figuring she’d come back later for her things.

And suddenly I was worried.

How long had she been gone?

Had she panicked? Was she wandering the streets?

I leapt to my feet. I had to go look for her.

Had she called Steve for help?


I dug in my pocket for my cell phone. Liz still might be with Steve, or at least he would know where she had gone.

I’d told myself if she did leave I would give her some time, but now that seemed like a really bad idea. She was mine, a part of me. I had to have her back. I had to.

And I’d do anything to make it happen.

Of course my actions would depend on where she was, and what she was planning to do. The first thing I had to do was talk to her.

Jabbing at the buttons impatiently, I dialed Steve’s number.

He answered on the second ring. “Zan…”

I cut him off. “Where is she?”

My voice sounded harsh and raw. I barely even recognized it.

But before he could answer, the front door swung open and my angel was standing there.

I drew in a quick breath, my heart pounding. “Liz.”

She looked surprised to see me.

I didn’t move, afraid I would scare her. I swear I even stopped breathing, waiting to see what she would do.

I had come back early. Did she think I wouldn’t be home and she could get some of her things?

“Zan,” a muffled voice called out. “Zan, are you there?”

Suddenly I realized that I was still holding my phone, and I’d been talking to Steve. Without looking away from Liz, I raised the phone to my mouth. “I’ll talk to you later.”

I turned it off and slowly slid it back into my pocket.

I wasn’t sure what to do. My instinct was to take her in my arms, kiss her senseless and then carry her to bed. But as much as I wanted to do that, I waited for her to make the first move.

For long moments we just stood looking at each other. My heart pounded so loudly, I could hardly hear anything else.

She was wearing jeans that skimmed her legs, and a light blue tank top, revealing her creamy shoulders. Her hair was windswept from being outside, her face a little flushed. Her lips were slightly parted, and she was breathing hard, making her breasts move up and down.

Stupidly I couldn’t help thinking how beautiful she looked.

“You went to see Danny, didn’t you?” she said hoarsely.

I nodded. I certainly wasn’t going to lie to her, but I knew I might be digging an even deeper grave for myself. “I had to make sure he’d leave us alone,” I said gruffly.

I waited for her to react, but she simply stood, looking at me. And then tears started to gather in her eyes and spill down her cheeks.

I wanted to rush to her and comfort her, but I knew she was crying because of me. My mouth opened, wanting to say something, anything, but I couldn’t think. I could hardly breathe.

Each silent moment that passed I expected her to turn and run from the room, run away from me, and I was trying to decide what I should do when that happened. My mind was racing with possibilities, scenarios. I couldn’t let her get away from me, but I didn’t want to scare her either.

Finally she did move, but instead of running away, she slowly crossed the room toward me.

I held my breath as I watched her walk the few feet. I still couldn’t read the expression on her face. Was she angry, upset, afraid?

As she approached, her eyes raked over me, briefly focusing on my right hand before moving to my face again. She stopped in front of me, and I steeled myself. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

Reaching out, she gripped my hand, raising it so she could look at it more closely. For the first time I noticed that my knuckles were scuffed. It had obviously happened when I hit Danny.

Liz’s eyes met mine. “Did you get in a fight with him?”

I shook my head. “Couldn’t really call it a fight, angel,” I said softly, to disguise the strangled tone of my voice. “I punched him, he went down.”

“Zan,” she said, the exasperation evident in her voice, but a soft smile raised the corners of her mouth.

“Good,” she said. “I’m glad you hit him.”

I was completely stunned. “You are?”

She nodded. “He’s a jerk. He deserved it.”

I had to smile. She was absolutely right.

I still couldn’t tell what she was thinking, and her behavior was confusing me too. But she was holding my hand and it gave me confidence that we could work this out.

I was almost afraid to ask, but I had to know. “How do you feel about what I told you? About my past?”

She didn’t answer for a moment, and my heart pounded nervously as the silence stretched. Was she looking for the words to tell me that she was leaving because she was horrified by who I was and the things I’d done?

Finally she spoke, and her voice was choked with emotion. “I can’t believe you had to go through everything all by yourself. I can just see you as a stubborn, scared, little kid, trying to figure out how to live.”

She was trying to make excuses for me, but I had to make sure she saw the truth. I didn’t want her to regret it later. “I was a criminal, baby, and there is no excuse for that. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I didn’t care.”

“But you changed,” she said. “You made the choice to leave all that behind, and be a different person, a good man. Everything you went through made you the person you are now.” She interlaced her fingers with mine. “And I love everything you are.”

I felt a huge rush of relief, and instantly wrapped her in my arms. “Oh angel,” I sighed, “you are incredible.”

It almost felt like my knees would go out from under me, but at the same time I could breathe again. I’d come so close to losing her, and I never wanted to have that feeling again. It just reinforced in my mind that I had to make her a permanent part of my life.

She hugged me tightly, and after a moment spoke softly into my chest. “So what did happen with Danny?”

“I made sure he wouldn’t bother us again,” I said simply.

“But how did you do it?” she asked. “How do you know he won’t come back?”

“Well,” I started, “I had some dirt on him, and I told him it would get out if he ever came near us again. He’d be sent to jail, or worse.”

“And you’re sure . . .”

I cut her off. “I’m sure baby. He won’t come near you again.”

She didn’t say anything, but after a moment I realized she was crying.

“What’s wrong, Liz?” I whispered into her hair.

“I was so worried about you,” she said with a gasp. “After you left, I realized where you had gone, and then I realized why you gave me Steve’s number. It was in case something bad happened to you, and then I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that could happen. You could have been hurt, or arrested, or killed.”

I felt an even bigger rush of relief. She’d been worried about me. But then I felt guilty for making her worry. “No, angel,” I soothed, stroking her hair. “I’m just fine. I planned it all out, and there is no way Danny could take me in a fair fight.”

I kissed her forehead. “And I didn’t give you Steve’s number because I was worried something might happen to me. I gave it to you because,” I paused, pressing my lips to the top of her head and whispered into her hair, “because I thought you might leave me.”

“What?” she gasped, pulling back to look into my eyes. “Why would you think I’d leave you?”

I shook my head. “Angel, I didn’t know how you’d react when I told you who I used to be. I thought you might be scared or disgusted, and I didn’t know if you’d still want to be with me.”

More tears gathered in her eyes, and she reached up to touch my face. “Zan,” she breathed, “I’d never be scared of you. You are always so gentle and loving with me. And I wasn’t disgusted by what you told me. It made me feel so close to you that you were willing to share your past with me, when I knew you’d rather just forget it. I am so proud of you, so proud of how strong you are, and that you were able to make the life you wanted.”

The last of the heaviness dissolved away from my heart. She’d never even considered leaving me. I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. I’d been right about her all along.

I pulled her to me. “You really are an angel.”

After a moment she spoke again. “So why were you worried something might happen to me if I did leave?”

I stroked her silky hair. “I was worried you might be upset and act without thinking, and I had to make sure you were safe.”

Suddenly she looked up. “Wait, you must have thought I’d left when you came home and I wasn’t here,” she gasped.

I nodded.

“Oh, Zan,” she said sadly, “I’m so sorry. I was worried about you, and I couldn’t stand to just wait here, so I went for a walk.”

“It doesn’t matter, angel,” I said. “You’re here, that’s what’s important.”

Tears gathered in her eyes again. “You must have been so upset. I’m really sorry, Zan. You said you’d be gone a couple of hours and I made sure to be back before that . . .”

“Don’t cry, angel,” I whispered. “I’m just so glad you’re with me now.”

And suddenly I couldn’t stand it anymore, I had to kiss her. Taking her face in both hands, I pressed my lips to hers.

I meant it to be just a simple kiss, but Liz wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close and kissed me wildly, like she hadn’t seen me in a week.

With a groan I slid my hand down to her ass, arching her against my erection, as I started walking her backward toward the bedroom.

I had to have her now. I’d been so afraid she was gone, and the thing I needed most was to feel her soft, naked body against mine.

(Liz’s POV)

Zan kissed me hard as he walked us backward. It was obvious he intended to make love, but I had something else in mind.

I put a hand to his chest, and pulled back, breaking the kiss. “Wait,” I said.

He smiled. “I can’t wait, angel,” he rumbled. “I’m taking you to bed.”

I shook my head. “No, Zan.”

He looked shocked. I’d never said no to him before.

“No?” he asked.

Slowly I stroked down his chest until I reached the waistband of his jeans. I hooked two fingers in his belt and started pulling him backward. “You’re not taking me to bed,” I said, with a smile. “I’m taking you to bed.”

Instantly his smile returned. “Whatever you say, angel.”

When we got into the bedroom I released his belt, and took a step back. “Take off your shirt.”

His smile widened and he didn’t even hesitate. With one hand he reached back over his head grabbing the neck of his shirt, and stripped it off. The position elongated and stretched his muscles, showing them to their best advantage, and a gasp of appreciation left my lips.

Obviously he’d done it on purpose. He knew I loved his body, and he met my eyes, giving me a wink.

“Does your shirt come off now, baby?” he said with a grin. “It’s only fair.”

I shook my head. “Not yet.” I let my eyes roam over him, appreciating his sculpted beauty. “I get to play a little first.”

Reaching out, I put my hands on his shoulders and stroked over his skin, tracing his collarbones, and moving down to his pecs. I brushed my palms over his nipples before leaning in and pressing my lips to his neck. I kissed and sucked at his skin, slowly making my way down.

Zan growled, and his arms wrapped around me, his hands sliding under my shirt, caressing my back.

When I reached his pec, I gently scrapped my teeth over his nipple, and then laved it with my tongue.

His arms tightened around me as he groaned. His hand slid up, and he deftly unfastened my bra. “I want you so much, angel,” he whispered into my hair.

“I want you too,” I said between kisses to his chest.

Zan’s hands moved around to my stomach, and slowly up under my bra, cupping my breasts.

I had to smile. I know he likes being in charge and setting the pace. It’s just his nature. But he is comfortable enough with himself and our relationship that he willing gives me control when I ask for it. I just have to remind him a few times.

Reaching up, I grasped the back of his head, drawing him down as I tilted my face up. His lips met mine and he kissed me hard. Instantly he had slipped back into control, but I wasn’t going to let him.

Breaking the kiss, I pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “I’m in charge, remember?”

“Yes, baby,” he growled, stroking over my nipples. “I’m just helping you.”

I smiled again. “Then you should ‘help’ me take off my shirt.”

A grin lifted the corners of his mouth. “Just what I was thinking.”

Lifting my arms, I let Zan pull my shirt over my head. He tossed it aside and his hands went to my shoulders, pushing the straps of my bra down.

Again he reached for my breasts, but I stepped back with a smile. “Take off the rest of your clothes.”

First, he kicked off his shoes, and then he winked as he unsnapped his jeans. “All of it, angel?”

“All off,” I repeated.

Pushing his pants and boxers to the floor, he stepped out of them.

My eyes raked over his naked body as he closed the distance between us. He pressed his chest to mine, and his hands went to the fastening on my jeans. “And now I get to help you out of these.”

I kissed his neck as he worked my zipper. “Go lie down on the bed,” I said softly.

He growled, but released me and got on the bed, lying back with his hands behind his head. His muscles stretched, showing off his incredible, toned chest and arms. His cock was thick and erect, nestled in his dark hair. He looked like a living sculpture.

I finished the job he started, pushing my jeans to the floor, and kicking them off with my shoes. Then I hooked my fingers in my panties and shimmied out of them.

Zan’s eyes slowly roamed over my exposed body, and he reached out a hand to me. “Come here, angel,” he rumbled.

I was already wet, but the tone of his voice sent shivers of overwhelming desire through me. His eyes seemed to smolder as he looked at me, and I would have willingly done anything he asked.
Going to the foot of the bed I climbed on, straddling his body and slowly crawling up. I smoothed my hands up his legs, stroking the inside of his thighs, but passed over his erection. Instead I pressed my mouth to his well-defined abs.

Looking up, I met his eyes. “You are so beautiful, Zan,” I said.

“Angel,” he growled, “come here and let me have you.”

I shook my head. “First, I’m going to show you how much I love you and want you.”

Kissing his navel, I heard him draw a quick breath. He knew what I meant, and it excited him.

With my lips and tongue, I followed the thin line of his dark hair down his stomach. It was like a path leading directly to my intended destination,

I reached out, taking his thick length in my hand, stroking him up and down. He was so velvety soft, I loved touching him.

He groaned as my hand moved over him, and I saw a pearly drop of liquid appear at his tip. I loved that I could turn him on so much with just a simple touch.

I dipped my head down suddenly, kissing his tip, gathering his essence.

Glancing up, I smiled at the look of concentration on his face. He loved me going down on him, and I knew he had a hard time controlling himself.

Opening my lips, I took his cock into my mouth, swirling my tongue over and around his tip. The texture of his head is so different than the shaft, but I love having all of him in my mouth.

I explored his entire length, licking down, taking as much of him into my mouth as possible, and then coming back up.

Zan growled as I brushed my tongue over his tip again, and his hand fisted in the sheet.

“Oh shit, baby,” he breathed harshly.

I’d hardly started and he was already losing control. I’d intended to savor him and take my time, but I didn’t want to make him wait any longer.

I took him deep into my mouth again, making sure his tip slid across the roof of my mouth, and then reversed direction. This time I didn’t stop to explore but started a slow rhythm, up and down, sucking hard on his rigid shaft.

As he slid in and out of my mouth, I swirled my tongue around him, licking every inch that I could reach. At the same time I gripped his base with my hand, pumping him hard.

I moved my other hand up to his sculpted abs, and slowly caressed his skin, brushing over his hard nipples.

His cock twitched in my mouth, and his hand slid into my hair. I knew he was getting close and I sped up, moving on him as quickly as I could.

I loved giving him pleasure this way because I could concentrate only on him, and not on my own sensations. I could hear his harsh pants, his groans and growls, feel the tightening of his body as he approached climax. It was incredible.

“Fuck, angel,” he moaned. “Fuck.”

He groaned again, his hand spasming in my hair, and I knew he was coming. I sucked hard, tightening my mouth around him and he exploded.

I drank down his salty essence as he surged into my mouth again and again.

When he was finally spent, I let him slide out, and kissed his stomach as I looked up to see his face. He had an expression of satisfaction and wonder, and I smiled, knowing I’d given it to him.

(Zan’s POV)

Shit, I’ll never get used to the sight of my angel going down on me. To see her dark head moving up and down, and watch my cock disappearing into her soft mouth is overwhelming. It turns me on so much, I feel like I have no control.

When we first got together I never let her finish me because I would much rather be inside her and I can bring her to climax too. I also didn’t think she would like me coming in her mouth, but I discovered I didn’t need to worry about that. My angel takes great pleasure in making me explode. I could see it in the satisfied grin she always has afterward.

I stroked her hair as she kissed my stomach. I wanted her more than ever, but it would be a few minutes before I was ready to take her.

But that was perfect, because it gave me a chance to taste her sweet pussy.

Reaching down, I cupped her head, bringing her mouth up to meet mine. “Mmmmm baby,” I growled, “you are so good.”

I kissed her hard, and then grasped her behind the knees, holding her in place, as I slid my body down.

She gasped in surprise. “What are you doing?”

I stopped when I was directly between her legs. “I’m just going,” I said, kissing her inner thigh, “where I know,” I kissed her clit, “you were going to tell me to go.”

I sucked at one of her lower lips, feeling how wet she already was.

“But,” she gasped, “I’m supposed to be in charge,”

I flicked her clit with my chin piercing, drawing another gasp from her. “I’m waiting for your orders, angel,” I said, with a smile. I was going to love hearing her say exactly what she wanted. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“Zan,” she started.

I thought I could hear a protest in her tone, so I sucked her tiny nub into my mouth, swirling it with my tongue.

Her hips surged forward, opening her up even more to me. I gripped her thighs holding her close. “Tell me,” I whispered.

Another soft gasp escaped her. “Lick my clit,” she whispered.

I knew she was embarrassed, so I let her start slow. Instantly my mouth covered her nub and I took a long, slow lick across her.

She whimpered with pleasure and I increased the pressure and teased her with small circles of my tongue.

I continued slowly, until her hips started to move and her gasps turned to moans. “Now what, angel?” I growled.

She was breathing hard, and her voice with rough with desire, “Go lower,” she purred.

I smiled again. She was still embarrassed to ask for exactly what she wanted, but that could wait.

Slowly I used my tongue to trace around the edge of her lower lips, down one side, and back up the other, making a long oval. Liz was so wet, and the spicy scent of her juices made me want to plunge inside her, but I was going to wait until she asked me to do it.

Her moans grew deeper, and her hips pushed forward, trying to draw me inside, but I concentrated on her puffy lips. Softly I drew one side into my mouth, sucking at it, licking up the moisture.

Liz’s hands slid into my hair, clutching handfuls, holding me hard. I was driving her crazy, but I wasn’t going to give her relief until she said the words.

I moved to the other side, giving her other succulent pussy lip the same treatment, licking, sucking, teasing.

“Zan,” she gasped, and I released her instantly.

“Yes angel,” I encouraged. “Tell me what you want.”

“Lick my pussy,” she moaned.

It was a start, but I wanted her to say what she really meant. I took a long lick across her soaking core and up to her clit, and her hips surged forward. “What do you really want, angel?” I growled.

“I,” she gasped again as I sucked at her clit. “Come inside. I want your tongue inside me.”

I dipped my tongue barely into her, once, twice, and then withdrew. “Is that what you want?”

A soft whimper preceded her words. “No. I want,” she paused. “I want you to tongue fuck me,” she whispered.

“Say it louder,” I demanded softly.

“Zan, please,” she said throatily, “tongue fuck me.”

“Fuck yes, angel,” I growled.

Instantly I plunged my tongue deep into her soaking pussy, and a moan of satisfaction came from inside her.

“Oh yes, Zan.”

I plunged inside her again and again, pressing her hips down on top of me to let me go a deep as possible. I’d never had her this way, and the sensations were new and incredible. Her soft thighs brushed against the sides of my face, and her scent completely surrounded me. I controlled the pace and pressure somewhat, but in this position Liz could move too,

Her hips started to pump as she got closer, and it was like she riding my tongue. The thought turned me on so much that I instantly felt my cock harden.

Increasing my pace inside her, I matched the rhythm she was setting, moving with her, encouraging her with my hands on her hips. Her back started to arch and I slid one hand forward so I had access to her clit. Using my thumb, I stroked over it with quick circles, making her body jerk.

I wished I could see her as she rode me and climaxed, but that could wait.

Her moans of pleasure turned to whimpers and I pushed my tongue deep inside her. She cried out, her hands clutching in my hair, and her inner walls clamped down on me as she came.

I left my tongue inside her until the waves of her orgasm started to slow, then I withdrew and kissed and sucked at her lower lips, gathering up every drop of her sweet juices.

Liz gasped. “But this is about me giving you pleasure.”

“Angel,” I said gruffly, as I started sliding up the bed, kissing my way up her body, “you have,” I kissed across her stomach, “no idea,” I licked between her breasts, “how much pleasure,” I took her breast into my mouth, laving her rigid nipple with a long brush of my tongue, “it gives me,” I kissed her neck hard, “to make you cum.”

Pressing my lips to hers, I kissed her lingeringly. I had no idea what she had in mind next, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I gripped her hips, holding her, and slid my hard cock inside her soaking pussy.

A soft moan came from deep in her throat as I pushed into her. I know she loves having me inside, so she wouldn’t complain too much about me altering her plan.

I broke our kiss but spoke against her lips. “I know you’re in charge baby,” I whispered with a grin. “So of course you want to be on top.”

“You’re so bad, Zan,” she purred.

My grin widened as I reached out and cupped her breast. “And you love it.”

She smiled, “You’ve been breaking all the rules.”

“Oh yes angel,” I agreed, dipping my head, and closing my mouth over her rosy peak.

“Aaah,” she gasped, putting a hand to my chest. “Since you’ve been breaking the rules, I think I need to punish you.”

“Mmmmmm,” I growled, licking her hard nipple. “And what kind of punishment do I get?”

“Lay down,” she ordered. “And no more touching,”

I groaned in disappointment, with her breast still in my mouth. Kissing her tip once more, I released her, looking into her eyes. “Angel,” I started to argue, but she pushed at my chest, and leaned forward into me, making my cock slide even deeper inside her.

A growl escaped me, and she pressed her lips to mine briefly. “Lay down,” she whispered.

Wrapping my arms around her, I did as she asked, laying back against the bed, but taking her with me. She was on her knees, lying across me, our chests pressed together, her legs straddling me, her soft pussy holding me inside. Shit she felt so good.

“Is this my punishment?” I asked with a wink.

She smiled, as her hand moved over my chest. “I’m not through yet.”

“I sure hope not,” I teased with a smile.

Pressing her lips to my neck, she looked up to meet my eyes. “You have to stay lying on the bed, and you can’t use your hands.”

“And what do you get to do?” I growled.

Her hand brushed over my nipple. “Anything I want.”

“Mmmm, baby,” I groaned, kissing her quickly, “do your worst.”

She grinned and started to sit up while I was still inside her. Her motion made my erection slide within her, and a growl of pure pleasure came from my throat.

Her hand caressed my chest, and moved down across my abs to where my cock disappeared inside her.

My eyes flicked from where her hand was stroking me, up to her eyes. A wicked grin lit her face. “I hope you like watching,” she purred.

I smiled. “You know I do, angel.”

She leaned down kissing my chest, scraping her teeth over my skin. Her breasts brushed lightly across my abs, just her hard nipples grazing me, and I sucked in a sharp breath.

Her mouth closed over my nipple, sucking and licking, as she started to move her hips.

She was so wet from the orgasm and all the foreplay that her juices were pouring out of her, completely coating my cock, and making me slide easily inside her.

“Oh yes, angel,” I moaned.

Gently she bit into my pec, and slowly started to sit up as she continued her rhythm on me.

Her hair was like silk as it brushed across my chest, and I watched greedily as her beautiful body was revealed to me. Her breasts bounced enticingly as she started to move more quickly.

Finally she was sitting all the way up, making me slide as deep inside her as I could go. She wasn’t bouncing up and down, but undulating her hips, so I barely moved within her. It was so fucking sexy.

I wanted to grab her and finish her fast and hard, but I also wanted to keep watching her. She always comes quickly when she’s on top, and I didn’t want to miss a moment.

A gasp escaped her and knew my cock must be hitting her G-spot. Instantly she sped up, grinding on me.

It seemed like I was more aware than ever of every move her body made; the way she flexed and arched, the way her breasts bounced, the brush of her hair on my body, the racing of her heartbeat, the feel of her hot liquid core pulsing around me, the sounds she made, the quickly indrawn gasps of air, the soft moans and whimpers that rose in pitch as she approached climax. Maybe it was because I was so conscious of almost losing her, but I was greedy to hear and see and experience all of it with her.

She was obviously getting close to cuming, because her back arched and she leaned backward, her mouth falling open as she gasped for breath. Her breasts bounced harder as she sped up even more, lifting herself off my cock and plunging back down.

I could see every inch of her, all the way down to where we were joined, and I watched my cock disappearing inside her. It was so good, I’d cum any minute.

And suddenly I couldn’t stand it any more. Sitting up, I pressed our bodies together, and cupped her head, drawing her to me for a searing kiss.

She continued moving on me as our lips clashed together, trying to breathe around the kiss. My hand moved to the small of her back, holding her, helping her rhythm, as I started pumping my hips up into her.

“Zan,” she whimpered.

She was so close, I could hear it in her voice.

Reaching down, I stroked her clit and she came instantly.

I slammed into her twice more and followed her over the edge.

I kept her wrapped in my arms as we shook together, gasping for breath. There is nothing better than holding my angel after we’ve made love, and I stroked her hair for long minutes, just savoring having her in my arms.

Finally I leaned back, taking Liz with me as I lay on the bed.

“If this is punishment,” I said in a low voice, “you can punish me anytime.”

She laughed. “Well, I’ll have to punish you again soon,” she teased, kissing my chest, “because you broke all the rules.”

I smiled. “I’ll be ready for more punishment in just a few minutes, baby.”

(Liz’s POV)

I lay across Zan’s chest as he held me in his arms, stroking over my back. He was still inside me, and I had no intention of moving. I wanted to feel him growing when he started getting hard again.

I kissed his neck, loving the feel of him all around me, and wanting him to feel my love in return.

Of course, I realized now why he hadn’t told me about his past sooner. Not only did he not want to relive those terrible times, but he’d been afraid of my reaction. If I’d known I could have reassured him that anything he had done in his past, was just that, the past.

What I’d said to him earlier was the truth. I was so proud of him for getting out, and putting all of it behind him. But his past helped shape the person he was today, and he was a good man. The best man I’d ever known. That’s why I loved him.

His arms tightened, holding me so close, as if he was afraid I’d disappear. And maybe he was. He’d thought I’d left him.

And obviously he was thinking the same thing.

“I’m so glad you didn’t leave me, angel,” he rumbled. “I would have missed this too much.”

Kissing his neck again, I looked up into his eyes, smiling. “Is that all you’d miss?” I teased. “The sex?”

He smiled. “I’d miss lying with you in bed, showering together, studying with you, just being in the same room with you, hearing your voice, your laugh. He kissed my forehead. “I love you. I’d miss everything about you.”

My smile faded. “I love you. That’s why I’d never leave you, Zan,” I said. “I’d miss everything about you too.”

The corners of his mouth twitched. “Now she tells me.”

I punched at his arm teasingly, but he caught my wrist and brought my hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on my palm.

I almost didn’t want to ask, but I had to know. “So, if I had left,” I said softly, “what would you have done?”

He held my eyes. “You’re mine, angel,” he growled. “I finally found you, and I’d never just let you walk out of my life.”

I smiled. “I’m glad, but. . .”

Zan interrupted me. “But what would I have done?” he said softly, kissing my forehead again. “Anything, baby. I was ready to beg, promise, and seduce. I would have followed you home to your parents’ house, or to the end of the Earth.”

He pressed his lips to mine. “I was willing to do anything I had to do, to get you back, and I wouldn’t have stopped until you were with me again.”


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