Love Me Tender (M/L, AU, Adult) Complete 16/07

[Erina]

Title: Love Me Tender

Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended. The songs are not also mine.

Pairings/Couples/Category: M/L

Rating: Adult

Summary: The story about Liz and her way in life. At the beginning of the story she lives in Roswell, together with her Grandma Claudia and she has just broken up with her boyfriend. She goes to the party and that changes her life completely.

Author's Note: Thanks to my wonderful beta Heavenli24.


A little warning to those, who have read my other stories. This fic is nothing like my other fics! So, just know it, okay?


Part 1

I look outside. He hasn’t come. To me. He hasn’t been here for a while already, but I’m still waiting for him.

I still have hope. I dream about him. Every night. Every day. I can’t concentrate on my studies anymore, because I spend so much time thinking about him.

Do you know some way to forget your first love? If so, please, tell me, I can’t live like this anymore. Perhaps it sounds cheesy, like from some soap opera. I have even laughed at the people who used that phrase. Can’t live without him? Rolling my eyes is my usual answer to it.

But now I’m feeling the same.

I’m empty without him. He is my first love and you don’t forget the first easily. For the past year, I’ve lived just because of him. Dates with him were a pure heaven. He was so romantic, always gave me a single white rose.

I loved him. Truly.

I moved to Roswell two years ago. My parents died and Grandma Claudia wanted to take care of me.

I didn’t object. I love her too.

At first, moving to Roswell from the big city wasn’t something I looked forward to. Until now, I haven’t regretted it.

My first year in Roswell High School was quiet. I made a couple of friends, Maria and Alex, they really rock, you know. They are the best friends in the world and they are mine. Then I met him. The tall, handsome boy who took my heart with him.

He still hasn’t given it back.

He was everything I ever wanted. Handsome, school’s football star, straight-A student, but most of all, he wasn’t cocky or anything like that. No, he was a romantic guy, who clearly loved his girlfriend.

Yeah, that’s right. I looked at him from the afar as he was holding her hand.

Then I wanted to vomit when they kissed.

But that was then.

When the summer began they suddenly broke up. The whole of Roswell was in shock; they had been an almost perfect couple.

Almost, because I have always known that he and I...we would make a better couple.

I was right.

After their break up, he started to work for his father. Since I was working at my grandmother’s restaurant as well, I sometimes delivered food. One night they ordered and I came.

He waited for me. We talked. I fell in love with him even more.

By the end of the summer, he and I were a couple. And, like I have mentioned, I was right. We were a perfect couple.

My second year in high school was spent daydreaming about him, about us, about our bright future together.

What a fool I was.

Maybe I was too busy staring in his eyes, to notice that he wasn’t even looking at me anymore.

Who knows…?

He tried to break up with me many times.

You ask me, what did I do?

I begged him not to leave me. I asked like some forty-year-old wife whose husband was leaving for some younger big-breasted chick.

He stayed. And I was happy.

Not for long.

Soon I realized what I had become. I didn’t like myself anymore. I was doing everything to prevent him from leaving me.

But he was wonderful and stayed with me. I saw his pain and hurt every day, because he was with me, not her.

At first, I enjoyed it.

If I couldn’t be happy, then he wouldn’t too.

It’s only fair, right?

No, it isn’t.

Why it was so hard to accept that he wasn’t in love with me? Why did just the thought of it, make me feel lonely?

I had to make a choice and I did.

I let him go.

We agreed to remain friends, but I already knew they were just empty words.

But I could hope, right?

Since our break up one month ago, he hasn’t come into Crashdown. Not once. He probably thinks I don’t know what he’s been doing lately, but I do.

He is fucking that blonde; the one he’s together with now.

P-a-t-h-e-t-i-c, you know.

That’s all she got. Fake boobs, fake blonde hair, fake teeth, fake everything. The tattoos and piercings probably aren’t fake, but I don’t care about that.

I know I’m not model-like girl, like you see in magazines every day. I don’t have big breasts or blonde hair. But I’m not ugly either.

I guess you understand my shock to see that he is with her. His new girlfriend is terrible. She uses more make up than I ever have; her whole face is always covered with it. She has many tattoos and piercings, one in the tongue as well.

I can only imagine what his father said when he saw his son’s new girlfriend. I even feel sorry for him; he is a great father, although he is raising his son alone.

But you know what is the saddest thing in this?

I would take him back, even after he’s kissed that bimbo with the piercing in her mouth.

Yuck!

Don’t even wanna think about it. But then again...That probably wasn’t what they were doing.

You see, maybe that was the problem in our relationship? He wanted to take that big step, I didn’t.

I was afraid to.

I love him and I really wanted to give myself to him, but I couldn’t. Every time we went a little bit further, I completely freaked out. I couldn’t breathe.

He understood. At first. But he was a teenage guy as well. I guess he couldn’t wait for me long enough and ran to the closest girl who spread her legs before him.

Yuck! I have to stop think about it; I just had my dinner.

But I’m still waiting for him.

“Liz,” a loud and annoying voice interrupts me from my misery.

“What?” I ask in my sweet voice.

“Were you thinking about him again?”

I lie, “No,”

“Liz!”

“Maria!”

“L-L-L-Lizzzz,”

“M-M-M-Mariaaaaa,” I repeat. Two can play this game.

“Stop both of you!” our friend, Alex, says irritated, “You both are acting like five-year-old children. Can you stop it for a while?”

I and Maria both look at each other before answering in unison, “No,” we say and laugh. Poor Alex, two against one.

Well, that’s life.

“How are you?” my dear friend Alex asks me.

“Fine,” I lie, again, but it isn’t something new.

“You’re lying,” he says.

“And?” I shrug. They are my friends; they have to support me, not the other way. I don’t want some deep talk right now.

I need a drink.

That’s right folks, I’m not a saint either. I need to be drunk. I want to strip naked in some party and dance on the table, while the other guys are hungrily looking at me.

I want it. I need to feel wanted.

He wanted her, not me. I don’t feel loved anymore.

I’m alone.

Completely.

I’m cleaning a table. It’s late. I want my friends to go away, so I can continue my misery and despair.

“There is a party tonight,” Maria suddenly says and I’m silently saying ‘Thank you God,’ that’s what I need. What I want. And what I will have it.

My night.

“Where?” I immediately ask. Eagerly.

“At James’,” Maria says, looking at me, “Are you sure you are okay?”

“YES!” I snap, “YES!” I yell. There wasn’t anyone in Crashdown, but I think people heard me on the street as well.

I don’t care.

“YES! YES!” I scream louder and louder, it is feeling so good. Hopefully people won’t think I’m having an orgasm, because of the way I’m screaming.

But then again...

I. Don’t. Care.

Simply.

My parents are dead, my boyfriend broke up with me, why in the hell I should care what they think?

I don’t.

But deep in my heart, I do. And that scares me. I hate that I care.

“Was it loud enough?” I ask out of breath. Maria’s mouth is still open and Alex looks shocked as well.

When they don’t reply, I ask, “What time is the party?”

“In an hour,” Maria says then.

“Meet me here in forty-five minutes,” I instruct before I go to my room, which is above the restaurant.

I need to get ready. I want to look good.

I’m sure he will be there too and I want to show him what he’s lost.

I want to see regret in his eyes. I want him on his knees before me.

I’m not cruel. Instead, I’m only a lowly human.



Later that evening...



“We are the champions,” I sing along with some guys, a beer in my hand.

“No time for losers, ‘cause we are the champions,” I yell and sway with them.

I’m a little bit d-drunk already.

But just a little.

Maria is already gone with her boyfriend Michael. I bet they are fucking somewhere. Maria doesn’t have my problem. She is a normal girl, who can give her body to her boyfriend.

I feel my misery come back.

I need another drink.

After all, I have a goal – to strip naked and dance on the table.

Yeah, right, like I’d really do that!

I will probably get drink, until I can’t stand anymore. Then Maria will take me home, to my big puffy pillow, and I will sleep peacefully.

I’m making my way to the table with drinks and then suddenly...

BUMP!

“Ouch,” I yell as I (well, my ass) come in the contact with the hard floor.

Wasn’t he looking where he was going?

“Jerk,” I scream and start to hit his chest, but my little hands do nothing.

“Hey, stop it!” he orders, but I don’t listen.

I need this. I need to hit him, to cause him pain. He has hurt me. I want the same for him.

“Hey, you geek, take your hands of my boyfriend,” the slut says, but I don’t listen. I want them both to suffer.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” I whisper, while my fists come into contact with his chest.

I have hugged him so many times; I loved the way he smells. Now I’m sick of it. He doesn’t smell like himself anymore. I can smell only her cheap perfume.

“Stop it!” he barks loudly and takes my hands in his.

There is nothing I can do anymore.

People have gathered around us. They are watching. Waiting for the grand show.

“Leave me alone, Liz,” he says slowly. The next thing I know he is leaving with his girlfriend.

Side by side.

Kyle and Serena.

I need to get out of this room.

I walk up the stairs. Shakily. I can’t stand on my feet anymore.

I need a bed.

I’m looking for Maria. She has to get me home. To my pink room, my bed.

I start to look in every bedroom, with my eyes close, and asking aloud for Maria.

But I can’t find her.

Where is she when I need her?

I don’t have the strength to go anywhere, so I decide to crash in the next room.

“Maria?” I ask aloud and, when I don’t hear anything, go to the bed.

It’s dark, I don’t see anything much, just the outline of the bed.

Bed. That’s all I need at the moment.

Somehow, I manage to get to the bed and I crash down.

Literally.

“Oi!” someone says and I freeze.

That’s official, folks, I’m starting to lose my sanity. I’m hearing voices in my head.

It’s not like I’m surprised, I just didn’t think that the voice in my head would be so sexy.

I’m trying to get comfortable on the bed, but just then, I notice that something isn’t right.

It is kind of uneven.

And it is breathing.

Oh.My.God.

The bed is alive!

I gasp and try to get off the bed as fast as I can, in the process, moving my arms and legs in every possible angle.

I groan in frustration when I can’t get out of the damn bed!

I’m too drunk to do anything, but for some reason, I’m not screaming.

I don’t do anything as well, when the bed under me sits up.

Oh my...

I’m indeed dreaming.

The ‘bed’ is a handsome guy! I can’t see him well in the dark, but I don’t need it.

We just stare at each other. We aren’t moving.

We just sit and look. At each other.

I don’t feel the music anymore; everything is disappearing.

It is just me and him.

When his lips suddenly crash down on mine, I don’t respond at first, I’m too shocked to do anything.

Wow, this boy definitely knows how to kiss!

I eagerly respond and open my mouth wider to let him in.

I don’t know anything anymore, I just feel.

That’s all I need. All I want.

I don’t need Kyle.

I don’t need to strip naked and dance on the table anymore.

I don’t need that cute jumper I saw in the shop.

I don’t need some other lips.

Just his.

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this; kissing some stranger in someone else’s bedroom. I don’t know anything about him.

My doubts disappear as soon as his lips travel down from my lips to my neck.

I gasp.

The next thing I know I’m under him and he is pulling my clothes off.

I’m doing the same thing with him.

I don’t like clothes anymore. They are bad. Bad, bad clothes.

I’m not thinking, I don’t have time for that. My hands are busy with his shirt. Why does this damn thing have so many buttons?

I groan in frustration and simply tear it open.

I need him, like nothing in my life.

When a little bit later, he is entering me for the very first time, I don’t feel afraid anymore.

A moment later, I’m not a virgin anymore.

[Erina]

Thanks!



<center>Part 2</center>



Shit.

I feel like shit.

That’s why I don’t drink often, only sometimes.

Yesterday’s dinner is coming up and I reach for the basket.

I must tell you, that it isn’t a pretty sight.

Yuck! Did I really eat that? I need to re-think what I’m eating. Seriously.

I’m in such pain. Everywhere. Even my skin is in pain. Oh, my eyes hurt as well.

Please, kill me.

Why did I drink? Ah, Kyle and Serena. The thought of them causes me to reach for the basket again.

I’m sick. Where is my mommy when I need her?

Yeah, that’s right. She’s in heaven. She is probably looking down on me and thinking what a bad daughter I am.

That isn’t a surprise. I’m the reason they died, you know. I killed them. That is my dark little secret.

I’m a killer.

But don’t tell anyone, okay?

I groan as I roll to the other side of the bed.

Shit!

I’m not in my room!

Where is my pillow? Where is my little cute teddy bear?

“Teddy bear!” I whisper, but he isn’t coming. Well, he probably has found some another cute teddy bear and is having a honeymoon in Bahamas.

I want to go to Bahamas too. Will someone take me there? My husband, perhaps?

Probably not.

I have always thought that my husband would be Kyle and we would have those little cute babies. But we won’t.

I won’t have a big, puffy princess wedding dress. My Dad won’t walk me down the isle. My Mom won’t cry her eyes out at the sight of me. Kyle won’t wait me at the altar.

I won’t give him my virginity, because I gave it to someone else last night. I wo...

Wait a minute.

Did I really sleep with someone?

No, I’m just probably totally insane by now. There is no way I did it last night.

Just no fucking way.

And don’t try to tell me anything else, okay? I won’t believe you, so just don’t waste your time. Fine?

Fine.

Nothing is fine when I see the blood on the sheets.

I’m freaking out, but who wouldn’t be? I just realized that I have slept with someone.

And now comes the best moment...

Who did I sleep with?

I don’t remember, I don’t remember. Damn it! My whole life is shattered and there is nothing I can do to pull it back together.

I can’t erase last night, no matter how much I want to.

I look around for my sex partner, but don’t see anyone. That’s good, no?

Probably he woke up earlier and decided to avoid the awkward moment between the two of us, right?

Right.

Part of me is sorry that I don’t even know who my first was. I don’t know his name. I probably won’t even recognize him if I see him. How sad is that?

I want to cry, but the tears aren’t coming out.

I’m miserable.

He left me. Kyle and that unknown stranger with whom I had a wild sex last night.

Why they are leaving me? I don’t deserve it, do I?

I stand up and try to find my clothes. I have never thought I would be in a situation like this. I can’t find my bra! Help!

Aah, there it is, right on the lamp beside the bed.

I move painfully towards it, my whole body in pain. But the pain in my heart increases when I see something besides the lamp.

A condom. Untouched. New.

Oh God. We didn’t use protection last night. I’m praying for some miracle, that last night didn’t happen. Maybe if I shut my eyes close and murmur quietly for it, maybe my wish will come true?

What? Don’t look like that at me? I have seen that movie where 13 years old girl wishes to be thirty and voila! Her wish came true? I want it too....

Please. I close my eyes and stand there for a minute, my bra still in my hand.

I’m trying to feel any changes, but I nothing is changing. I still feel that dull pain between my legs and I have this urge to vomit.

Damn it, I think when I open my eyes to see that I’m still standing by the bed.

Why life is so unfair to me? I don’t deserve it. I really don’t. What I have done to deserve something like this?

Oh, that’s right. This is all my fault. I killed my parents, made Kyle miserable by staying with me and got drunk last night.

Why, I even wonder?

Although I was drunk, I remember that I didn’t say no or some crap like that.

Instead, I was begging him to fuck me harder.

What I am going to do? What if I slept with some jerk and the whole of Roswell now knows about last night? What if I’m pregnant?

No, I refuse to believe it.

That can’t happen to me. Just can’t.

I take a deep breath and dress quickly. I don’t hear a sound, everybody probably are still asleep.

That’s good. I don’t wanna face them at the moment.

I look at myself in the mirror. I wonder if something has changed in me. I’m not a virgin anymore. I’m a woman. But it wouldn’t hurt to know with who I slept too.

I glance the last time at the room, where I lost my virginity and go out of it. I make my way down to the living room.

I have to go carefully. There are couples on the floor as well as empty pizza boxes and beer bottles. I’m almost sick again, when I spot some vomit as well.

Finally, I see Maria. She is still asleep on an old couch, Michael’s big hands wrapped around her.

How cute!

Yeah, right. Probably it would be cute if not the mess around them. Drinks are spilled and pizza is everywhere. And what smells here?

I hurriedly go to Maria and try to wake her up; I want to leave this place. It’s disgusting.

“Maria,” I whisper, but she doesn’t respond. Damn it. I shake her harder and harder until she falls down from the couch to the floor.

“What? What it is?” Maria grumble, still half asleep.

I take her hand and push her to the door, “Come, we have to go,” I say, without bothering to wake up Michael as well. He is a big boy.

I just want to forget this night.

But I already know that I won’t.

Fuck!


***


“Hey, honey bear,” my sweet Grandma Claudia says as she opens the curtains in my bedroom.

I love her, I really do. She is probably the only person who keeps me sane. I don’t know where I would be without her. Literally.

As I have already mentioned down the road, when my parents died, I had to move to Roswell, the capital of geeks and nuts.

Yay! You must imagine my happiness to move here.

Yeah, right.

But some part in me wanted to be here, to be closer to the only family I had. My Grandmother is the sweetest and nicest person in the world. She is great in every possible way.

And for some reason she loves me.

“Hi,” I whisper, while sinking further in the pillow. My head still hurts and I still feel somehow funny, although I have slept the whole day and night.

It is Sunday.

Tomorrow is Monday.

Like every other week.

But I’m not a virgin anymore. And I’m scared.

I’m scared to go into school and find that everyone knows the truth about Friday night. Even worse, I was drunk; I don’t remember much. What if I slept with some really sick pervert, who took pictures of me, while I was sleeping (naked), and posted them on the Internet, huh?

In case if you are laughing or saying ‘That’s not possible’, do me a favour and SHUT UP!

Remember, it’s my life and I have every right to be worried.

Although Maria hasn’t called me yet (and I must say she knows every rumour in Roswell), it calms me a little.

But just a little.

Okay, I seriously need to calm down a little; my grandmother will suspect something.

And I really don’t want that.

Huh, what did you expect? I’m her sweet and innocent granddaughter; I’m simply not even capable of drinking. At least it is what she thinks. I can’t even imagine what her reaction would be if she finds out that I slept with some stranger at the party.

She won’t find out, right?

I don’t want to see disappointment in her eyes.

“How was the party?” she asks and I inwardly groan. Ouch, I remember another movie where a man couldn’t lie. Basically, if I had the same power (or disaster I must say) I would tell her everything from A to Z.

I’m glad I’m not him.

“Good,” I lie. Since when I have become such a liar?

Before my parents died, I never lied; I got the best grades at school and even had a nice boyfriend at the time.

That was then. Now, I’m a slut. I have given my virginity to some stranger, while I was extremely drunk and we didn’t use any protection. I’m probably pregnant. I will run away from home, go to LA and work in McDonalds. I will have a greasy hair and in ten years time, I will weigh as much as a whale. My child will probably hate me.

Wow, what a great potential I have!

I’m glad when Grandma says that she needs a little help in the Crashdown. At least I won’t have that much time to think about my misery.

Although, I know I will do it anyway.

I quickly run to the shower. I can still smell the stench of alcohol and vomit in my hair. It is a miracle that Grandma didn’t smell anything. Maybe she did, just didn’t say anything?

Hopefully.

When I’m clean enough, I dress in my uniform and go down to the restaurant.

Wow, Grandma was right, this place is like a zoo!

Hmm, I see some discontent customers on the left and some crying babies on the right. The noise is terrible.

I take an order from one big family. They have like five children and one of them is crying so damn loud that it is a miracle I can hear what they are going to order.

And what is that smell?

Oh God, when the mother takes the baby to change him, I have to open a window to let the smell out.

Well, the baby was definitely nothing compared to the sight I see now.

There in the car, are sitting the wonderful prince and his beautiful princess.

Disgusting.

And you know what? I don’t want him anymore. Serena can keep him. I’m so over him. After my drunken sex at the party, I have realized that I need to keep my self-respect.

If he doesn’t want me, fine. I won’t cry a river over him anymore. He has made a choice.

I return to the restaurant’s rush and all thoughts of Kyle and Serena leave my mind.

It is late evening when Maria and I can actually sit down.

“What a day,” Maria groans and pours herself a drink, “I’m so tired,” she whines, “Can I not go to school tomorrow?” she asks hopefully.

“Sure,” I reply. What? I’m just saying what she wants to hear. Simply.

“Oh no. There is no way I can stay home tomorrow,” she says somehow excited.

“Why is that?” I ask. If Maria doesn’t want to go to the school, she won’t.

“Oh, didn’t you know?” she asks surprised and I’m holding my breath.

What? What I don’t know? Hopefully it isn’t something related to me, the party and wild sex.

I can only hope.

“I have heard that we are going to get some new students,” she says, “Two. A brother and sister. Twins,”

“And?” I ask. Why I should care about some new students?

“Liz, I have found you the perfect guy!” she says in a such a cheery voice, that I wonder if she hasn’t smelled those oils a little bit too much, “I met him Friday at the party. He is perfect for you. Tall with dark hair and dark eyes and such a body. Wow, you will have those cute little babies, Liz,” she says happily.

“Maria, have you totally lost your mind?” I ask irritated. I don’t need some other guy. I had enough shit with Kyle. I don’t want to go back to that dark place where I was.

“That’s okay,” she shrugs, “You will thank me on your wedding day,” my best friend says and stands up, “Have to go now, see you tomorrow,” she calls and I simply watch as she goes away.

Well, at least I haven’t heard anything about Friday night.

Yet.

I clean the floor and, as I’m turning the light off, I hear some noise from the outside.

I freeze.

I’m scared.

That’s crap, why am I scared? The door is closed. It was probably just an animal.

Slowly I move closer to the door and look outside.

Oh God.

I’m going to die.

Help!

[Erina]

Oh well, here is the next part, sorry for the long wait and thanks for the patience! Thanks to my beta for sending it back so quickly!



Part 3



Oh God, this is just fuckin’ great.

The first day and I already want to run away over nine seas and nine ...whatever. It isn’t important.

I just hate to see all those people, lying people. High school is a cruel world. One day you are the star, but then you are nothing.

Zero.

You see, before dating Kyle I wasn’t popular, I was okay. At least I think so. Anyway, dating Kyle had given some good things too. Not only did everyone respect me, but females envied me as well. I was dating him. Kyle.

And now I am single again. I’m nothing in their eyes.

Well, do I care?

Maybe.

I put the biggest (and probably the fakest) smile on my face and go to my locker. Maybe I feel like shit, but they don’t need to know it, right?

Yes, remember I am always right, so don’t try to argue with me, you won’t win.

But still, I feel like shit. I haven’t sleep almost the entire night, in fear of going to school and facing the same people as in the party.

Not sure if I need to remind you, but I actually slept with someone, remember?

Oh, so you remember, huh? But I want to forget. Well, it isn’t the first time I haven’t got what I want.

For example, I so wanted that Barbie house when I was little. I still want it. But did I ever get it?

Nope, I’m still waiting for that big, fat guy in red clothes to bring the house to me. I mean, how hard is it? I don’t have a chimney, but I do have a balcony and that is even better. He can simply drive and drop the present down. It is easy!

Anyway, as I have mentioned, I had the worst night in my life and even the fact that I didn’t die at the sight of Serena in some big chicken costume, didn’t cheer me up.

Oops, I forgot to tell you. As you know, last night I heard some noise and without fear went to the door to see what had caused it.

I really thought that I was going to die when I saw Serena in the chicken costume. I had seen that one of the greasy and cheap restaurant was looking for some people to work for them. But I never expected to see Serena like that.

That will be forever imprinted on my brain.

Forever!!!

She looked so miserable when she couldn’t walk properly in it and what was even worse was that Kyle was right behind her, laughing with his friends as well.

For a moment, I even felt sorry for her. It looks like now, after Kyle got what he wanted, he dumped her, without mercy.

What a jerk!

I’m so glad I’m over him.

I can’t believe that I actually cried for him so much. He doesn’t deserve my tears anymore, maybe he never did.


I walk into class and the first thing I notice is the blonde girl. I haven’t seen her before and somewhere in my mind I remember that Maria told me something about the new kids.

But just briefly.

What? Do you really think that I listen to every word that is coming from my best friend’s mouth, huh?

I don’t think so.

The blonde smiles at me, as I come to my seat. Ah, she wants to be friendly. It’s understandable, today is her first day at the new school, new friends are important.

For a moment, I consider whether I want to be her friend or not. Finally after my mind had his own inner battle I turn to her, smile as wide as humanly possible and say, “Hi, I’m Liz. Are you the new girl?” I ask friendly.

“Um, yeah,” the girl says unsurely at first, “My name is Isabel,”

“Oh,” I say.

Okay, what else. Should I ask the traditional questions like ‘Do you like Roswell?’; ‘Where are you from?’ or something like that? Maybe about the weather?

Geez, I hate those awkward moments, when no one knows what to say or to do.

I smile once again as the bell rings and turn around to listen to the teacher.

Last year, my grades slipped down, not much, but still. Now this is my chance to improve them and I actually need to listen what that man at the front of the class is saying.

I look outside.

And then it happens.

I remember every moment with Kyle, every date, every kiss, every touch.

Everything.

And then I see Serena, miserable in that costume, and Kyle right behind her.

I imagine hitting him in the most painful place, so that way he wouldn’t produce anything with his genes.

I’m not a violent person, but that picture makes me smile.

The next thing I hear is the loud noise as everyone makes their way out of the class.

Oh well, it looks like some things never change. I again didn’t listen to the class, because I was dreaming about Kyle.

“Hey, can I copy your notes,” I politely ask the new girl who was sitting behind me.

What was her name? Something with an I....

I watch as the girl takes out her notes and gives them to me, “Thanks, Isabel,” I say, finally remembering her name.

I walk out, but the blonde girl follows me, “Can you please show me where my next class is?” she asks and I nod.

What other choice do I have? I can’t simply dump her alone in the hallway. Besides, I kind of like her.

She is nice.

“Sure,” I say this time without a smile, my face is already hurting from all those smiles I had this morning, “What class?” I ask.

“History,” she replies and I smile, forgetting my pain.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Isabel replies, looking concerned at my bright smile. Really, I must look funny, 2What is wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” I quickly reply and turn to lead her to the class.

Alex is in it too.

Alex and Isabel.

Isabel and Alex.

Sounds nice, isn’t it?

Alex is single at the moment and I know he will like Isabel. At least I hope so. They would be a great couple.

And just day ago I was whining that Maria had found me a guy, now I am doing the same thing.

Alex will thank me on his wedding day.

We walk to the classroom and I immediately see Alex. Well, only his back, but that is going to change soon.

I look back at Isabel, “I want you to meet someone,” I wink and lead her to Alex.

“Alex?” I say as sweetly as possible and watch as he turns around.

Oh God.

What the hell you have done, Alex? I want to scream, I want to yell, but all I can do is watch my so-called-best friend.

That’s it; Isabel’s first impression is ruined.

I mean, what you would think if you see a guy with those weird fake big glasses and a moustache, which you can buy in a joke store?

In my mind, I’m thinking of one-hundred-and-one different ways to kill Alex or to run as fast as possible from the classroom.

What Isabel is going to think of me?

I took her to some weird guy; her whole impression about Roswell probably is ruined.

I feel guilty.

I feel bad.

I want to get out of here.

Just then I look at Alex, who had taken his...special features away and now is looking at Isabel.

Yeah, right, he is looking.

He is staring.

Isabel leans to me and whispers. “Is your friend always that weird?” she says quietly, but I’m sure Alex heard it as well.

He blushes and clears his throat.

“Umm…M-My n-name is A-Alec,” he stammers and when I glance at him, he corrects his name, “Alex, my name is Alex,” my best friend says more confident and relaxed.

Whew, I relax a little bit as well, when Isabel smiles and tells her own name.

The tension is soon broken and they both are talking like old friends.

Bingo.

I smile proudly and walk out of the class and the two of them didn’t even notice it.

I hurriedly walk to my next class, since I have just a minute or so, until the bell will ring.

As soon as I come to class, I see only one free place and I quickly go to it, without looking around.

I’m breathing heavily, but at least I wasn’t late for the class.

For a change, I need to listen and take notes as well.

But then I make a mistake.

I look with whom I’m sitting.

Oh God.

I probably know look like Alex, when he was looking at Isabel.

Oh no, staring, I’m staring and I literally can’t take my eyes away from the boy next to me.

The bell rings, the teacher comes in, but I don’t see any of it.

His beautiful hazel eyes...

“Are you okay?” I hear a voice, the most beautiful voice I have ever heard.

I sigh.

“Miss Parker, Mr Evans, is there any problem?” the teacher’s dull voice finally snaps me out of the staring contest.

“No, no problem,” the boy and I reply at the same time and our teacher looks somewhat funnily at us, before returning back to the front of the class.

What now?

I’m so embarrassed; I was literally staring. I remember how weird and so totally not cool it looked with Alex and Isabel.

I look at the teacher and that is basically all I do the whole hour.

But I feel his eyes on me.

His beautiful hazel eyes...

I wonder what he thinks of me; if he thinks I’m pretty or anything like that.

Yeah, right, he probably thinks that I’m the weirdest girl he had ever met.

Ladies and Gentlemen, once again my chance for a normal guy is ruined. Kyle, the unknown stranger and now ...

Wait.

I don’t even know his name.

It means...

He is probably that other new student Maria was talking about.

Oh, that other student who she thought would be perfect for me.

Just fuckin’ great.

What else is going to happen today?

As I hear the bell, I bolt out of my seat.

But it looks like my bag, which was on the floor has different plans for me.

The next thing I know my face has connected with the hard floor. And I must say, it’s dirty as well.

Yuck! Disgusting.

I try to stand up, but all I feel is pain.

I feel miserable, sad and angry at the same time, when I hear as the other students laugh at me.

Well, at least someone is happy!

“Here, let me help you,” the voice says and I immediately know; I’m going to remember his voice forever.

I feel as he lifts me up in his arms and is taking me somewhere.

I try to ask him where he is taking me.

Like I care. I feel good enough to stay in his arms forever.

“Shh,” he soothes me and I feel better as well.

There is just something about his guy.

My hands are around his neck while his hands have wrapped my body tightly to his.

I look at him.

The first time I was looking at him (well, fine – staring) I saw only his eyes, now I have the chance to actually study his face.

His strong jaw.

His black hair.

His beautiful and long eyelashes.

His full lips.

His lips.

Before I even have the chance to realize what I’m doing I lean and press my own lips against his.

Okay, since when I’m that bold?

But well...If I could sleep with some stranger at the party, why I can’t kiss the most beautiful man I have ever seen?

He doesn’t push me away, instead I feel as he is trying to pull me closer to his body.

I realize that we both probably look weird, standing in the hallway, me in his arms, while we are kissing passionately.

And this time I really don’t care about the others.

Our moment soon is broken, when I hear some other voice, “Miss Parker, Mr Evans,” we pull away from each other’s lips and turn our heads only to see the school’s principal looking at us.

Miss Parker and Mr Evans – that sounds nice, isn’t it?

I blush and hide my face in his neck.

He smells so good, that I want to forget where we are and kiss him more and more.

“I’m taking her to the nurse,” he explains to principal, “She fell down in the class,”

“You have 5 minutes to take her to the nurse and go to your next class, Mr Evans,” the principal says before turning around and walking into his office.

As soon as he shuts the door to his office, we both together lean to each other’s lips once again.

“Five minutes,” the principal roars from his office and Max immediately starts to walk to the nurse.

Damn, that man always has to interrupt in the best moment!

[Erina]

Thanks for the wonderful feedback!



Part 4



I have died and gone to heaven.

Please tell my Grandma that I love her very much. Oh, and since I’m gone, I’d like Maria to have my big, puffy jumper she liked so much. Can you do that?

Thank you.

I am indeed in heaven, looking at him.

Mr Evans.

I’m immediately picturing his surname besides my own. Elizabeth Parker Evans. Or maybe Elizabeth Evans?

Before my eyes, I see a big house with a backyard and swings. Two kids are running out and my future husband is hugging him in joy. I’m somewhere in the middle smiling and laughing along with them.

My family.

Oh boy, a girl can dream, huh?

I look at him again. He has this look on his face, I’m not sure what he is thinking, but I can feel his tense body as he carries me to the nurse.

He is so perfect. But you probably already know that, right?

As soon as I think it, the doubts start to fill my poor mind.

I’m basically nothing. Had a bad relationship with Kyle, was a total bitch to him by the way, and had sex with stranger in the party.

Yep, I’m a perfect girlfriend; I’m sure his mother is going to love me!

Yeah, right.

Besides, does he even like me? He can’t like me; Mr-Great-Body-Evans doesn’t even know me.

And I don’t know him (although that is something I’m eager to change; who wouldn’t want to know a little bit more about the boy with a body like his and who can kiss so well...)...

I watch him. I’d love just to spend hours and hours just looking at him.

But...not once does he look at me.

I am disappointed and slightly sad, because we have reached our destination, but he hasn’t told me anything.

Although...what I expect him to say?

Hopefully it won’t be something like ‘Well, thank you for letting me use your mouth, but I have a class’.

Geez, I need to get a life.

But seriously, what kind of image I have given to him?

I stared at him.

I fell right by our table.

I kissed him in the hallway while he was taking me to the nurse.

And heck, I don’t even know his name!!! Just Mr Evans. Is his name Todd? Maybe Chad? Or what about Justin? The possibilities are endless.

And I’m miserable once again, as he puts me on the table in the nurse’s room.

I want to scream that I want to be in his arms, but is it something I do?

Nope.

Instead, I blush slightly, tuck some hair behind my ear, look at the ground and mumble something like ‘Thanks’.

I’m weird; you don’t have to say it. I know that!

The nurse isn’t in the room, only the uncomfortable silence between us.

I quickly take my eyes from the oh-so-interesting ground and glance at him. Apparently, he is shy as well. It is quite an adorable picture; his hands in pockets, while he is looking at the same spot in the ground I was a moment before.

As much as I want to stay in his presence, the situation is really awkward.

“Well...” I start the usual, hoping that he would say something. Something good.

Hopefully.

“Well...” he repeats, still looking at the ground, although he can’t fool me; I saw that quick glance at me as well.

Yay! At least some hope.

“Hmm, I guess I have a class,” he says.

WHAT?

That’s all I get? He guesses he has a class?

Well, it is almost as bad as ‘Well, thank you for letting me use your mouth, but I have a class’, just without thanking me for using my mouth.

Can’t he even tell me his name, I think as he turns away to leave.

“Bye,” he says quietly, but I hear him anyway.

“Bye,” I sigh as he walks away.

Damn, I still don’t know his name.

I guess I will find out his name eventually, we are going to the same school.

But I pout. I want to know it NOW!

You know, like some five-year-old kid wants that ice cream with chocolate in a hot summer day, I want to know his name!

I sigh once again and close my eyes. My pain has become simply a dull ache, so it doesn’t hurt anymore.

I snort, what a great way to start a new school day. I fell down in the class. Hard. And everyone was laughing at me. Well, at least...

I can’t finish my thought because some lips (well, I actually know the owner and I suspect that I don’t need to tell you) have attacked (literally) my own.

I gasp and respond to the kiss as much as I can.

A thousand questions are running through my little brown-haired head, but I don’t ask any of them. What’s the point? That way our lips wouldn’t be locked, so talking can wait until we are ninety. Until then....

I feel dizzy when his hands cup my head. I’m entirely in his power; he can do whatever he wants.

I won’t object.

I see fireworks when our kiss becomes hungrier and more passionate.

My whole body is limp when I lay down on the table, taking him with me on the way. I’m digging my nails in his shirt, pushing him closer and closer.

A moment later, my body is covered by his.

We simply kiss for a couple of minutes, before I decide that I need more.

I unbutton his shirt slowly; one button at the time, until the shirt is finally open.

I don’t see him; my eyes are still closed, so I don’t know his reaction to my bold behaviour.

But when I run my hands on his chest and hear a groan from him, I inwardly smile. He enjoys this as much as I am.

As I touch his naked skin, his hands do their exploring on their own as they slide under my shirt.

Wow, I have to tell you that his hands feel amazing!

Wait a minute...

Why I have this strange feeling suddenly about him? There is just something about him, like some information has flashed in the back of my mind, but I don’t know what exactly.

I don’t have time to think about this either, because I feel him settle between my thighs. And what...Oh!

I know he can’t see me, but I blush furiously like never before. I guess, no, I know, my face probably is so red.

Although I have had sex (remember?) and I have made out with Kyle many times, I am still surprised to feel his...well…want for me.

Oh God, I can’t even say it.

Please, shoot me. Then I will have a tombstone with the text ‘She was a nice girl, who lived her life in a weird way and couldn’t say the word....’

I can’t say it. I can’t even think it.

Have you seen a weirder creature than me?

I don’t think so.

And before you are starting to make assumptions, let me tell you that I didn’t have this...problem before.

What did I want to say with it? I don’t have any idea! Sorry, but that is the way I am.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right here, being kissed by Mr. Perfect.

You wonder how long we are going to be in the nurse’s room, kissing, without being interrupted?

Yep, not long.

“Miss Parker!” I hear some shriek and I have to stop kissing Mr. The-Best-Kisser, only to turn my head and see the school nurse.

Ouch, she doesn’t look happy.

She is angry.

I wonder why?

I think it is normal for a girl to kiss a boy.

Don’t you?

I don’t think the nurse agrees with me.

She looks so mad, that I want to crawl somewhere far away from her eyes. Geez, if looks could kill...

We would be already buried and my cute tombstone would be seen.

I’m clearly surprised when the nurse starts to laugh uncontrollably. I even see some tears escape her eyes and she is holding her stomach; she is laughing so hard, that I’m afraid she is going to pee her pants.

Oh God, please save me.

I quickly look at him (who by the way is still above me) and I see that he is surprised as well.

Who wouldn’t be? I expected anger, irritation, yelling, detention. Heck, I even maybe wanted an earthquake, but not this!

Sometimes I just don’t understand people.

When a couple of minutes have passed, our hysterical nurse has finally calmed down a little bit. Oh, it was about time. The next class will start soon. I don’t know about myself, but I don’t want Mr. Perfect to be late.

In case you have forgotten, I fell down in class and hurt...something. I’m not sure where and why I had felt pain, but well...that’s way I’m here, right?

I’m not on the table just because I wanted to be kissed by Mr. Perfect lips.

You believe me?

Of course you do. I know I can rely on you, guys!

Okay, back to the story.

I’m still on the table, but although I want to stay right here with Mr. Perfect, I know it would be better if we face the big dragon, as in the school nurse, in a vertical position.

That’s a lot better.

So, are there any suggestions to how I am going to do it?

You see while I’m at least thinking about getting off from this table, Mr. Perfect has some other plans apparently.

He isn’t moving!

I know, I know...I’m comfortable too, but I don’t want to be in this kind of position while someone else is in the same room.

It isn’t good.

I try to move under him, so maybe that way he would get off.

Nope, it doesn’t do any good. He is still looking around, but isn’t attempting to move.

Argh!

I blush again, when the nurse raises an eyebrow, probably due to my moving under his body.

I’m desperate then and don’t know what to do anymore.

“Hey,” the nurse calls and we both give her our attention, “Maybe you two would be kind enough to stand up, huh?” she says half sarcastically, half still laughing.

I’m silently thanking her for resolving this...really awkward situation.

As we both stand up before her and she looks again at us...so funnily, I blush again and seriously – I don’t think I have been more embarrassed as I am at this exact moment.

Where is my magic wand when I need it?

“Was there any reason you are here?” she asks as she tries to hold her laugh, but she is doing a poor job to hide her emotions.

Mr. Perfect as usual, takes everything into his own hands, “Yes, she fell down in class,” he explains and the nurse once again raises an eyebrow as she looks at me.

I’m standing and looking perfectly fine.

I look down at the ground, to escape another glare from her.

“Are you hurt?” she asks me.

I think about it. I feel both my legs, arms, head is still in the place (and I’m surprised about this fact!) and I don’t feel any pain at all.

I sigh; Mr. Perfect probably has healed me by kissing me senseless.

“No,” I answer. “I don’t feel any pain anymore,” I assure her.

But I guess it wasn’t the nurse I need to persuade.

“Are you sure?” Mr. Perfect asks me. Is he really concerned about me?

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say while he is still staring at me.

“Then I guess you two should be going to your next class,” she tells us, turns her back on us and starts doing something on the table.

We are ignored.

And we are going to use her sudden help.

My little boldness comes back as I take his hand and lead us out of the room as fast as possible.

When we finally stop (far enough from the nurse and the principal), I turn to him, “What is your next class?” I ask and probably just then, I really see how he looks.

Messy hair.

My lipstick on his lips.

And well, his shirt is still open.

I can only imagine how I look right now.

I’m not surprised that so many students literally glared at us.

“Political science,” he says and I’m a little disappointed. I’m not having a class with him. How sad is that?

“Oh, well, the classroom is over there,” I say as I point out the right direction.

“Thanks,” he says.

And here we are; another awkward silence. When this is going to stop?

The warning bell rings and we quickly say at the same time ‘I have to go to class,’ as we both turn around and walk away.

From each other.

I feel sad.

And damn, I still don’t know his name!

[Erina]

Part 5



“Have you seen the new guy?” I hear Pam ask another girl.

I perk up my ears to listen their conversation better.

What? Don’t look at me like that!

I’m in the girl’s bathroom; there aren’t any rules here. Girls can gossip and others can listen.

That’s not a crime; if Pam and her friends want to talk in the girl’s bathroom, that’s their choice.

And I’m going to listen to every word. Besides, maybe for a change I’ll have something to tell Maria, not the other way around.

Although...I actually doubt that Pam will talk about anything Maria doesn’t know yet. I swear that girl has some kind of radar. Maria knows everything. I’m not sure how in the hell she gets all that information.

Maybe my best friend works for the CIA? FBI? Hmm, maybe the oils she uses so much, are some kind of...Urgh, I don’t know what the CIA can hide in the oil!

Anyway, I must also say that don’t usually listen to other people’s conversations; I’m not like that.

But you see, they mentioned something about the new guy.

Remember? Me and a new guy in the nurse’s office?

That’s right, the new guy. I suppose my new guy is the same that Pam is mentioning. Maria had said that there are two news students; twins – a girl and a boy. Do you really think the CIA would be wrong, huh?

I haven’t seen Mr. Evans again today, but I still have one more class, so I can hope, right?

“Yeah,” Pam’s friend answers and I direct all my attention to their conversation. “He is simply gorgeous,” the girl sighs and leans against the wall.

Pam smiles wickedly and I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.

“I’m going to be his girlfriend by the end of the week,” she announces and the bathroom goes quiet.

I even can hear the annoying fly that is flying in the air.

She didn’t mean it, right?

She has broken up every couple she wanted. If she wants something, Pam usually gets it, no matter what.

Well, maybe she is a witch and is spellbinding guys?

As soon as I think it, I inwardly groan. I’m watching a way too much TV (although that isn’t surprise; since I and Kyle broke up, I usually spend Friday’s evening with remote in one hand and popcorn in the other).

I mean, what the hell I’m thinking? Maria in the CIA? Pam, a witch? Then maybe the new guy is probably Superman, right?

I really have to get a life. Or maybe another boyfriend.

Okay, I know what you’re probably thinking. Just yesterday, I told Maria that I don’t want a new relationship.

But...

You know how my Superman looks; do you really believe that I don’t want him as my boyfriend?

I’m not totally weird, you know.

And by the looks on Pam and her friend’s face, I must say that I’m probably not the only one who is drooling over the new guy, who already has created such interest from the school’s females.

And I have to say that Pam is tough competition. Normally I wouldn’t even want to mess with her, but he is at stake.

I’m going to fight. With tooth and nail. With everything I have. If I need to, I will get that water pistol I have and attack Pam’s face.

Yeah, I’m going to do everything.

The warning bell rings and girls go out of the bathroom, but I’m still standing there, looking at myself in the mirror.

I can’t believe that again, I’m going to do everything I can to get a guy. I did the same with Kyle and you know how that ended.

Maybe he doesn’t even like me. But he kissed me so passionately in the hallway and in the nurse’s office. It means something, right? Perhaps it’s just lust? I feel flattered by that, but I can’t help but blush at the thought that we made out so passionately without knowing each other’s names.

I finally pull myself together and go to my next class.

When I come out of school an hour later, I feel tired. I had a long day; first stressing out about my sex partner; then Isabel and Alex and my following falling to the ground. Next came Mr. Evans, kisses and the nurse’s office. Oh, and I surely have to add Pam and her talk in the bathroom.

Yep, many things have happened today, so I have every right to feel tired, right?

Right.

Anyway, I decide to go home and fall onto my pillow. I quickly drive to the Crashdown, say ‘hi’ to my grandma and run upstairs.

I put some music on and shut the blinds.

Already I feel relaxed and much better when I rest down on my bed.

A moment later, I’m deep in my own dream world.

But (of course) it didn’t last long.

Suddenly I feel something (or someone) by my window. I see some shadows, so I know it’s human and I immediately take the baseball bat that is always beside my bed.

What?

Don’t look at me like that! I think that everyone should have a baseball bat beside their bed; it’s too dangerous to live in this world. It’s the main rule of those horror movies.

Girl. Alone. And the guy with the power-saw.

I know that I probably should scream for help or run away as quickly as I can.

But I don’t do anything.

If you want, you can call me sadistic, but I want to see the idiot who thinks he can come here like that in the middle of the day to rob my house.

Remember the movie ‘Home Alone’? That kid didn’t let the bad guys rob his house. And I must say he did a good job by torturing them.

And let’s not mention the fact that I can’t move; I’m to scared to move, but still I manage to grab my bat and stand there in the middle of my room only in my panties and bra.

I don’t have the time to think about my lack of outfit, because he or she is getting in my room and I move closer, bat still in my arms.

I’m ready.

I take a big breath, close my eyes tightly and aim at the person who has come into my room and is behind the blinds.

Then I do it. I hit with my bat.

Do you think I have actually done something right?

Nope.

Suddenly I hear a loud crash and I open my eyes immediately only to see my lamp on my floor. Or what is left of it.

I’m not sad. I hated that lamp. Some distant relative gave it to me and I hated it so much, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.

I’m a good girl.

Well, at least I was, but…that’s another story.

After staring at the lamp (and remembering how I got it), I suddenly realise why I hit the ‘poor’ lamp. I turn around a little to see who had come in.

My bat falls down to the ground.

So does my jaw.

Imagine this picture: me, standing in the middle of the room only in my underwear and mouth wide open.

I probably look like an idiot.

But I once again don’t have the time to think why I have so little brain left, because I hear a knock at my door.

“Liz,” Grandma calls. “Are you okay?”

“Shit,” I mutter as I try to think something.

I can’t simply open the door. I’m almost naked and there is another person with me.

I look at the person briefly, “Come here,” I say as I push the person into my bathroom. “Stay there,” I order and shut the door.

I have just enough time to return to the broken lamp as grandma comes inside.

“Liz,” she rushes to my side, “Is everything okay? I heard a noise,” she asks concerned, but her expression clears as she notices the broken lamp, “Umm, well you never liked it anyway,” she shrugs and stands up.

“How did you manage to break the lamp if you were sleeping?” she asks suddenly and again my mind is racing.

“Well, I thought that there was a monster,” I simply say, ignoring grandma’s expression. “What can I say, it was pretty dark in here,” I say.

“Okay,” she says. “I have to go back to the Crashdown, will you be able to clean up the mess?”

Geez, doesn’t she think that I’m capable of cleaning anymore.

It’s not like I can’t understand her. You know very well how weird I am.

“Yeah,” I say and start to dress.

My grandma starts to leave but turns around at the last moment, “By the way, a young man was asking for you a couple of minutes ago,” she says and again my jaw hits the floor.

“Who?” I ask eagerly. You would probably want to know too, if there was someone asking for you.

She thinks a little before answering, “I don’t know his name, he didn’t tell me what it was.” She shrugs, “Anyway, I told him that you probably wouldn’t be working today, but he insisted on waiting,” she laughs and I couldn’t help but smile as well.

Someone wants to see me that much! It’s making me giddy inside.

“I was going to invite the poor guy upstairs, but then this loud crash came,” she says looking at the lamp on the floor, “I didn’t have the chance to ask him. Will you come down after cleaning?”

Sure! I want to know who is waiting for me!

“Sure, I will be down in a minute,” I ask. My grandma smiles and goes away.

As soon as the one door closes, the door to my bathroom opens and he steps out.

“Bastard,” I hiss as I come to him and my fist connects with his jaw.

Painfully, I must say.

Not only does he look to be in a lot of pain, but my fist hurts like hell as well.

He stumbles back a little, but still manages not to fall from the force of my fist.

“Liz,” he says. “What are you doing?” he asks surprised.

He is surprised? What the hell he was thinking by showing up in my bedroom?

Too bad my baseball bat didn’t connect with his head; maybe that way I would knock some sense in that empty head.

“What do you want, Kyle?” I hiss.

Kyle really looks scared by the way I’m treating him.

Yay! I smile inwardly. He deserves something even worse.

“I-I wanted to talk to you,” he says lamely as he comes closer and tries to touch me.

I slap his hand and take a step back. “About what?” I demand.

“Um, well, you know...” he says but I cut him off. I don’t have the time to listen to this moron. Nor do I have the patience either.

“You have one minute, Kyle,” I say sternly.

He looks straight into my eyes. “I want to be with you again,” he says.

I look at him for minute, just blinking and staring at him.

“You what?” I ask, my voice a little louder. “What is wrong with you? There is no way I’m going to be your girlfriend again,” I say. “You are a complete idiot if you think that all you need to do is come here and say something like that,” I say.

“I won’t be your girlfriend, Kyle, so don’t even try, okay?” I say as I look in the mirror briefly, “I’m going downstairs for a while. When I come back up, I don’t want to see you here. Is that clear?” I say sternly and smile as he winces at my tone.

“Yes,” he says.

“Good,” is all I say before going downstairs.

As soon as I come in the restaurant, I feel him.

I don’t even need to see him, but I know he is there, so close to me again, and I can’t help but hope that he was the one who was looking for me.

He stands up and comes to me. “Hey,” he says quietly as his hot breath tickles my neck; he’s standing so close.

This time I realise that we are in public, so I lead him to the back.

When we are safely away from the other eyes, I say, “Hi,” and smile when I see his own smile.

I’m not sure what kind of relationship we have, I still don’t know his name, but at the moment, when he is standing so close to me, I don’t even really care.

Slowly we lean towards each other, but before my lips have the chance to touch his, I pull away.

He looks confused.

“Not here,” I say as I take his hand and lead him upstairs to my room. I don’t anyone to walk in on us. Hopefully, that idiot has already left my room.

We reach the door of my bedroom, but I decide to do something else first.

“What’s your name?” I ask suddenly as I turn around. Our lips are so close, that I want nothing more but to kiss him.

But if I kiss him, then he won’t be able to answer my question.

And I really want to know his name.

“Max,” he says and I smile. The name fits him. Max.

“Max,” I say, enjoying the sound of his name. “And I’m...”

“Liz,” he says and smiles sheepishly, “I already know your name.”

I don’t need to here anything else and I open the door to my room.

And that’s it. I just opened the door.

I can’t move.

I can’t breathe.

And I can’t even turn to see Max’s expression.

I have a strong urge to take my baseball bat back in my hands and beat the shit out of Kyle.

Okay, people....

Maybe someone can explain why Kyle still is in my room?

And naked?

[Erina]

Hey! I'm sorry I didn't post last week, but well...here I am. You wanted Kyle to get his punishment, here it is. Sorry it is kind of shorter than usual.


Part 6 (1)


Okay, just a little reminder.

I came home, went to sleep, tried to hit that idiot Kyle, but failed. Remember so far?

Good.

I went down to the Crashdown and led Max up to my room.

I know what you’re probably thinking at the moment.

I’m such an idiot!

Believe me, I’m thinking the same. I can’t believe I didn’t wait until Kyle had left my room.

But you know, I guess I was a little bit too eager to find out who had been asking for me.

Too eager, because it led me into the situation I’m now in.

I’m in my room with two guys.

The first guy is an idiot, a naked idiot, I must say. What the hell is he thinking? Does Kyle really think that I will date him again?

Idiot.

The second guy is the good-looking man of my dreams, who now doesn’t look very happy. In fact, he is pretty angry, if his expression and fists are any indication.

It’s not like I’m blaming him. If the situation were reversed I would be furious, at least. I lead him to my room and he finds a naked man in there.

He probably thinks that I want a threesome.

Don’t laugh at me, what would you think?

This is like karma, I was bad girl by making Kyle miserable and sleeping with a stranger and now it is coming back to bite me in the ass.

I’m inwardly scolding myself; why I didn’t think about Kyle? I could have checked the room first or something like that, but what did I do?

Nothing.

I guess I need to accept that I’m mentally damaged.

If Max tells that he doesn’t want to be with me, I will understand, since it is just my fault. Not even Kyle’s, although I really want to blame just him.

As soon as I decide to do something about this really awkward situation, Max is already ahead of me, attacking Kyle with such force that they both fall down onto my bed.

Yikes, there are two sides to this situation.

First, there are two guys in my bed (since when I have become so popular, huh) and one of them is naked. Ewww, I would say, if I didn’t know any better.

Second, there are two guys and one of them is defending my honour. I feel like princess and Max is my knight. How romantic. I have always dreamt about a knight on a white horse (coming to rescue me).

Well, Max doesn’t have a white horse, but he is still my hero.

I really hope he’s mine.

Anyway, back to the story. Right now my own private hero, Max is beating Kyle so hard, that I already see blood and, although I want Max to continue, somewhere far away in my mind, I understand that that isn’t right either.

I come closer to the two of them, but I have to be careful, because Kyle is starting to wave his arms like the idiot he is. He probably wants to fight back, but he doesn’t stand even close to Max.

“Max!” I shout, trying desperately to get his attention. “Stop,” I say as I see more blood on Kyle’s face.

There is some blood on my bed as well and I must say this scene isn’t a pretty one.

I’m actually scared.

Not only from the blood on my sheets or the blood on Kyle’s face, but the whole situation scares me. Max looks so angry and the look in his eyes...I’m afraid to know what he is thinking of me at the moment.

I want Max, but I’m afraid I have ruined everything. Like always.

I watch as Max stands up and takes a couple of steps back. Kyle is still on my bed, but at least he is conscious.

And by the way Kyle is still naked, in case you’d forgotten.

Okay, let’s repeat. Why is subject A, named Kyle, in my room naked?

Possibility 1: he was hot and decided to strip down.

Possibility 2: he decided to take a shower.

Possibility 3: Kyle decided to act like some cave man and striped down to expose his ... Well, you understand me anyway, right?

Right.

I don’t have the chance to philosophize more, because Max takes Kyle’s clothes and goes to my balcony.

I follow him, but the idiot remains in the middle of my bed. I know I’m repeating it over and over, but...what an idiot.

My eyes follow Max as he steps onto my balcony and goes to the edge. For a moment he looks down, like he’s thinking about something, but as soon as Kyle comes to us too, Max does something I never believed he would.

Max actually drops ALL Kyle’s clothes down on the street. Everything; his pants, shirt, underwear.

Kyle just stands there, looking down onto the street, one hand covering his lower body parts.

I know that at some point I should feel sorry for him. Do I feel sorry?

Nope.

He deserves it, everything and so much more.

I know I was a total bitch to him, but he wasn’t so great either. I’m really not sure if I understand the way his brain works. If he has any brain left.

“Liz,” Kyle so suddenly whines in a such a high voice, that I’m afraid my ears are going to be damaged, “He dropped my clothes!” he says like I’m not standing right there.

Okay, repeat all together: what an idiot!

Phew, I already feel better.

“So,” I say and shrug, I don’t have to take care about him; Kyle is a big boy, he got himself in this mess, he can fix it too.

Perhaps I could have stopped Max, and Kyle would have his clothes now. Or maybe I could offer some of my Dad’s clothes to him. Or even my own.

But there isn’t anything in the world that is going to make me to do that.

I want to see his misery and shame. He laughed at Serena, now I want to do the same to him. It’s only fair.

“Leave my property, Kyle,” I say as sternly as possible, using the same voice as a couple of minutes ago.

“Liz, you aren’t serious, right?” he laughs nervously, pointing at his current nakedness with his free hand.

Instead of answering I simply move closer to the edge and point down, “Go away,” I order and watch as Kyle gulps and glances down.

“I can’t believe that I’m doing this,” Kyle grumbles as he starts to climb down.

Inside me, this big bubble of laughter is building, but I’m still holding it in. I want to wait.

Kyle manages to get down in record time and starts to gather his clothes as quickly as possible.

Although it looks like his skills aren’t good enough.

“You pervert!” my seventy-year-old neighbour screams and smacks Kyle’s head with her purse.

Kyle, shocked over the new turn in the events, starts to run, the old lady running slightly after him, the purse still in her hand.

Since Kyle has only one aim to run, he actually uses it.

And runs directly onto the main street of Roswell.

Naked.



I will try to post the second part in a few days.

[Erina]

Thank you all for the feedback, I really like it.



Part 6(2)

I hear gasps and screams and I can’t help but start laughing hysterically, all my emotions coming out. And I still think that Kyle deserves even more. After all he has done, a small smack doesn’t count at all. But as soon as I stop laughing, I realize that I’m not in the best situation either. Max is looking at me, probably waiting for an explanation.

“Max…”

“Liz…”

We say both at the same time.

Silence.

Now we don’t know what to say or what to do.

“Come here,” Max finally says and leads me back into my bedroom, directly to my bed.

As soon as we sit down, I turn to Max, “Max, it’s not what you think, I don’t know what Kyle was doing in my room.” Crap, I’m lying. “Um, well, that’s not entirely true, he was here and tried to talk with me, but I ordered him to go away. I swear, Max, I’m not with Kyle,” I’m surprised that I’m defending myself so passionately, although Max and I aren’t even together.

But how I want that!

For some reason I don’t want him to think badly of me. His thoughts are important.

“Liz, I believe you,” he states softly and my hearts melts.

He trusts me (in some way), although we barely know each other and that warms my heart and soul. He is wonderful.

His hands find their way into my hair as he closes the distance between us and kisses me softly on the lips.

But when I start to deepen the kiss, he pulls away.

My confusion is probably evident on my face; I want his lips back on mine! And I want them now!

Making eye contact, Max asks me what is probably one of the most important questions of my life, “Will you be my girlfriend, Liz?”

In my mind, I’m screaming and jumping up and down in joy, but in reality, I’m still on my bed, looking into those beautiful hazel eyes.

I realize that things are moving pretty fast. This morning I didn’t even know this guy, but we already had a couple of heated make out sessions and now he is asking me to be his girlfriend.

I have never been asked to be someone’s girlfriend. Sure, I have dated Kyle, but he never asked me to be his girlfriend.

It was more like this....

We were sitting on his couch, eating like two pigs and sometime during the commercials, Kyle suddenly asked if I was his girlfriend. I simply grumbled out a ‘yeah’ or something like that, trying to keep myself in check, since I wanted to jump up and down too (what is with me and jumping, huh).

But now, those feelings don’t even come close to what I’m feeling right now. Emotions I felt towards Kyle pale in comparison to what I’m feeling now to Max.

I can’t believe how blind I was. Kyle was an idiot all the time, but I didn’t see it.

But I will be an idiot too, if I continue keeping this silence.

Max has just asked me to be his girlfriend and I still haven’t said anything at all.

He’s probably translated my hesitation by now and has already started pulling away from me.

Do you really think I’m going to let him to that?

I pull him back to me and whisper into his ear, “Yes,”

I feel rather than see his smile. If he is happy, then so am I.

Oh my God, Max Evans and I...we are a couple!

Max kisses me briefly, but I once again don’t have the chance to deepen it as Max pulls away. Again.

Huh?

“What’s your favourite ice cream?” he asks so suddenly that I sit there in shock. It’s not like I don’t like the romance and so on, but...does he really want to talk about it now? We can kiss and kiss and kiss...and talk later.

“Huh?” this time I say it aloud.

Max blushes slightly. “I want to know more about you, Liz,” he confesses. “All I know is that you’re Liz Parker, a senior just like me and you live with your grandmother above the restaurant. I want to know more,” he says.

Umm, people, this isn’t something I like to talk about. What I can tell him? I don’t have any brothers or sisters and I don’t even want to touch the topic of parents.

These things are too...personal.

I know, I know...Max is my boyfriend now; I have to talk with him. But we have only had some make out sessions; I don’t know him emotionally.

Although my heart says something different, he is a total stranger to me. I’m afraid I’m not ready to speak with him about something that serious.


“Umm,” I grumble, trying to figure out how to avoid this topic. “Maybe you can tell me something about yourself at first?” comes my suggestion.

Max looks surprised at the turn of the events and even a little bit confused, but he doesn’t say anything.

He is really the best, huh?

“Okay, then,” he smiles and I can help but smile in return.

I’m actually wondering why my face doesn’t hurt from all this smiling yet. But I like to smile.

“My name is Max Evans,” he says. “I’m seventeen years old and I just moved to Roswell from Boston. I have one sister, a twin, Isabel. I have never had any pets and I just have found the girl of my dreams.”

Okay, that’s nice, he is moved from Boston. I have always wanted to go there, but I....

Wait a minute.

He has WHAT?

I really need to check my ears. I think I have a hearing problem (I knew it was a bad thing to listen music so loud), because it sounded like Max just said he’d found the girl of his dreams.

Who is she?

Can I really be the one? But we have met each other just recently, he can’t have such deep feelings towards me; he just can’t.

I’m not ready for this.

Yeah, I like Max, but this is moving too fast, even for me. I need a break, a chance to breathe. I want to spend some time just thinking about being Max’s girlfriend.

And now I’m the girl of his dreams. That is serious.

“Liz?” he asks concerned, since I haven’t said anything. “There is something else you need to know,” he says in a serious voice.

Oh boy, what else? Does he want to marry me too? Although, that doesn’t sound bad...someday.

“What?” I ask in fear of what he is going to tell me. I knew it all was too good for me; Max can’t be real.

“Liz,” he takes a deep breath, while I hold mine, “Kyle’s underwear is still on your bed,” he says quickly.

But why do I have this feeling that he isn’t telling me everything?

“Max?” I ask, not even sure what I’m asking.

“Liz,” Max says once again and looks down at his fingers. “Remember the party last Friday?”

Do I remember? What kind of question is that? Of course, I remember!

“Yes,” I say quietly. “Were you there, too?” I ask.

I’m panicking inside. What if he had been there? What if he knows about what I did in that party? Maybe he knows the person I slept with?

Hopefully not.

I actually want to forget what had happened there not so long ago.

“It was me,” Max says.

Or maybe I don’t want to forget.

[Erina]

Hey! I'm back with another part. I know, I know I ended just in the 'right' place, huh? Welcome the new readers!

From previous part . . .

“Liz,” Max says once again and looks down at his fingers. “Remember the party last Friday?”

Do I remember? What kind of question is that? Of course, I remember!

“Yes,” I say quietly. “Were you there, too?” I ask.

I’m panicking inside. What if he had been there? What if he knows about what I did in that party? Maybe he knows the person I slept with?

Hopefully not.

I actually want to forget what had happened there not so long ago.

“It was me,” Max says.

Or maybe I don’t want to forget.


Part 7

“Y-You...W-w-what?” I stutter, my body in complete shock.

I can’t believe that it was him. Okay, perhaps I can believe it, Max (well, more his body) is kind of familiar to me, but I have never imagined that he was...the one.

I imagine that I probably should be happy, you know. I finally know who I slept with and the guy isn’t ugly or a pervert or anything like that, but...

I still don’t like it.

At all.

“Get out,” I order sternly, my voice more demanding than it was with Kyle.

You probably think, what the hell I’m doing, right?

Bu how can I trust him? I don’t know him at all. What if he thinks I’m sleeping around? I don’t know what he thinks of me.

And what if he is just lying? Maybe he has seen or heard something and now he wants just to convince me? I know it sounds terrible, but I’m unsure.

“Get out of my room,” I hiss, anger probably evident in my eyes and body language.

I’m angry and, by the way, I have every right to be angry.

Why didn’t he say anything sooner? Oh yeah, I forgot, his tongue was deep in my throat, remember. Stupid me!

Maybe that is everything he wants? Just some heavy make out sessions and sex? I know it sounds kind of stupid, but ... this is the way I feel.

I’m unsure about everything and especially Max.

“Liz,” Max says, clearly surprised about my reaction.

Go away, buddy!

I stand up and open the door, “Leave,” I order again.

I want him out as fast as possible, because I feel that soon my tears will start to fall and I don’t want Max to see them.

“Please, let me explain,” Max pleads desperately, but I’m not changing my mind and open the door wider.

Max looks defeated and sad as he comes to the door, “Liz,” he pleads me again with a quiet whisper, but I don’t even look at him.

I watch as he finally leaves my room and my tears immediately start to fall. I know, I’m an idiot (I guess I will have to join the club with Kyle, huh), that I had to give him a chance to explain, but everything is happening so fast, I just need time to catch a breath.

Just a week ago everything was normal. But then again, what is normal? Probably something I need right now. I want something stable, something sure.

And I need time to think about everything a little.

I need my Mommy, but she isn’t here.

I need Maria, but she is on a date with Michael.

And in overall, I’m in deep need of a shower.

So, excuse me and my madness.

***

Later I find about a dozen text messages in my cell phone and I can’t help but wonder where he has found my number.

Although, why I need to wonder when I have a friend like Maria?

It is a wonder that she hasn’t come here yet. But, as I have mentioned, she is probably too busy in Michael’s bed.

Yikes, have to get that image out of my head. I shiver. That actually isn’t something I want to think about. Definitely not.

Okay, where was I? Yeah, right, text messages. And that isn’t all, folks. He has sent me flowers and chocolates and a letter. The letter is the interesting part.

I haven’t opened it yet. The envelope is on my table, but I can’t bring myself to open it.

I’m scared.

Shitless.

What is there some logical explanation? What if he had a reason to leave me alone in the bed? What am I going to do then?

Run towards him, hug and kiss him? And live happily ever after?

I don’t think so.

You probably are frustrated with me and I’m not blaming you. I’m confused as well and I don’t understand my behaviour anymore.

I’m really fucked up.

After my parents died, Grandma tried to persuade me to go and talk with someone (as in people with a degree, who think they’re smart enough to listen my problems; okay, I don’t have anything against them, but ... they are strangers, if I’m not able to open up and talk to Max, there isn’t any chance I will start talking with a complete stranger), but I didn’t go. Now I think maybe I should have.

That guy has serious feelings towards me and what do I do?

Throw his heart on the floor and dance the Cha Cha on it, while he is bleeding to death.

It hurts and I can only imagine how much pain I have caused to him (I mean, come on, I took his heart out!).

Now I regret my attitude. I didn’t think with my head (but then again, when do I do that?), but I let my emotions get the best of me.

That party was black, but Max is white and I’m scared because now the two are mixed together. Now even Max’s name isn’t as clean as before. He isn’t white anymore.

Maybe I’m thinking in the wrong way? Maybe Max still is white, but the party is getting lighter and lighter? Maybe the darkest moment of my life will turn out to be the most beautiful?

Oh crap, what am I talking about?

I quickly go to my table and open the envelope.

And I start crying.


I’m sorry, Liz. I love you. Max.


And that’s it. But those words cause me to cry so hard, that I can’t control anything.

I hate myself for letting someone in; especially in such a short time. But I don’t even have the right to complain. I pushed him away. It was me, not him. Me and only me.

I fall on my bed and cry myself to sleep, determined to talk with him tomorrow.

***

The next morning I feel better, but not completely. Just now I see how stupid I was by throwing Max out, without giving him a chance to explain.

But I’m going to change it.

Okay, here is my plan...

A. Pull myself together. Take a nice shower and wear something sexy.

B. Go to school and find Max.

C. Kiss him senseless...Okay, first I need to apologize and THEN I’m going to kiss him senseless. Hmm, nope, the right thing would be: Apologize, then hear his explanation and then I will kiss him. Senseless.

I’m a little confused (and disappointed), when I don’t find any new text messages.

Has he already given up on me?

Hopefully not.

I know I was an idiot, but if he loves me, he will fight for me, right?

Hopefully.

Anyway, I dress and run to my car. I’m eager to go to school. Geez, I can’t believe I said that, but I really want to go to the school and see Max.

My prince.

My hero.

My knight.

My first (and hopefully my only) lover.

My everything.

I sigh. I can’t believe how fast I have done it. Again. Once again I’m dependent on a guy.

But he isn’t anything like Kyle.

I go to the place where his locker is. I don’t stand right by it, but a little bit further. I want to see him first and give him a surprise.

I smile.

And smile.

Now, when I had been so close to losing him, I want to open up and talk. I really want it. My Grandma is right; it is hard to keep everything inside, I want some relief, some sunshine in me.

I want to live.

With Max by my side, of course.

My smiles disappears when the first bell rings, but Max hasn’t showed by his locker. Maybe I have missed him somehow? Maybe he was here even sooner? Maybe he didn’t need any books? Maybe...

With great disappointment, I go to my first class.

***

It’s lunch time and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. Max. I know we probably don’t have any class together, but I’m starting to worry.

Roswell is a small place, and so is its school. Every break I have walked through the whole school in the hope of seeing Max.

But I don’t see him.

And I worry.

Hasn’t he come to school?

I see his sister, Isabel, talking on her cell phone and I decide to talk to her, she has to know something about her own brother, right?

I go, forgetting my manners, but when I hear her conversation I freeze and…listen.

“When you’re going to talk with Mom and Dad, Max?” Isabel asked.

Oh, about what? What is wrong?

“You know that there is a possibility that she is lying, you know it, right?” Isabel asked, “I have never really liked her, but apparently you and me…we are different, since you liked her enough to sleep with!” she said, her voice rising a little bit and the blonde looks around quickly.

I hide around the corner, still able to listen to the conversation, although it’s getting harder and harder.

As you probably already know, it looks like Isabel is talking with her brother and the conversation isn’t a nice one.

I’m confused. Are they really talking about me?

“Max, what are you going to do, if she really is pregnant?” Isabel asked.

Okay then, I guess they aren’t talking about me, huh?




I know, Liz is...really weird, isn't she?

[Erina]

Hey, I'm back, thanks for your patience.

Part 8

I watch as Isabel talks with her brother on the phone, but my ears don’t hear anything.

Except....

Max, what are you going to do, if she really is pregnant?
Max, what are you going to do, if she really is pregnant?
Max, what are you going to do, if she really is pregnant?


I hear those words in my head over and over again. I fight the urge to take some hammer and hit myself with it, in order to stop hearing Isabel’s voice in my head.

I’m sick.

I’m sick of people.

It’s a miracle the Earth hasn’t been destroyed so far. Cruel humans haven’t done anything good to it. Just poisoned the water and air.

The human race is sick. I’m sick.

At this moment I hate everyone. I hate myself for trusting Max.

He hurt me. Badly.

And it hurts. Even without knowing the truth.

The truth is...that I don’t even know the truth. All I have heard that someone is possibly pregnant.

I don’t know who.

Maybe that chick from the Coca-Cola commercial?

Nah, I don’t think so. She looks like barely eighteen, but under all that make up she is probably to old to have babies.

Yuck.

Okay, time to think....

Max, my dear sweet Max, has slept with someone...before me.

Is that a problem?

Perhaps.

I realize that my, no, our first time wasn’t an ordinary one. Even now we aren’t a couple, I don’t have anything to complain about.

But pain is still there.

Max has slept with someone. Not just with me. Someone else, besides his mother, has seen him naked.

Someone else has touched him intimately.

Someone else....

And I don’t have an idea who it is.

That’s eating me alive.

I’m cold.

I’m hungry.

I’m thirsty.

But above all, I want to cry.

And I start to cry, not caring who can see me.

So I stand there, behind Isabel. I’m all dressed up, since I was hoping for a reunion with Max. My hands are by my sides. Still. My whole body is stiff.

And I cry.

The sky is blue; the grass is green.

And I cry.

Tears are rolling down faster and faster. I feel them as their fall down.

I feel as every single tear connects with the ground under my feet.

I feel pain.

After my parents died, I have let my emotions out only at their funeral. Since then...nothing...Not a single tear. I had learned to block the pain out.

Like nothing can hurt me.

Yeah, right....

I’m not Superwoman...or even Superman, since I don’t have the necessary male organ.

I can’t fly around whole world in a couple of minutes.

I can’t do it.

But I can cry.

I see that some students, who apparently have no life, have noticed me crying and are whispering something to each other.

Probably discussing how weird am I.

And I will have to agree with them there.

I am weird. Everyone knows it. You know it, Maria knows it, that guy over by the tree knows it too. I bet even The Simpsons know it. Hopefully they won’t include me in their next episode. I don’t have any desire to be somewhere near that clown, even as a cartoon, he creeps me out.

I’m miserable.

But I hate clowns.

I hate my life.

And I hate Max Evans.

And that girl he had slept with.

I hate them all.

I see as Isabel finishes talking on the phone and turns around to go back to school.

Let’s remember those movies, where a beautiful blonde girl is all alone in the house, it’s dark and outside is only a creepy guy with a power-saw.

You see the picture? A blonde with wide eyes; her mouth open in a scream?

If you see the picture, then you can imagine how Isabel is looking at me.

Geez, a bad example...Now I feel like that guy with a power-saw.

One moment later I don’t feel anything, because I collapse onto the ground and I see nothing but darkness.

***

My head feels heavy.

Why am I in bed? I don’t remember going to sleep in the middle of the day.

Interesting....

My eyes are still closed, but I feel a warm body besides me. I don’t know who is in the bed with me and I let my imagination to wander.

I picture Max and I in the bed, my bed, at the same moment.

In my imagination, I have found Max. He is running towards me in a large, but beautiful field of flowers. It is a sunny day. Birds are singing and somewhere on the side I even see a doe.

Then my attention focuses solely on Max. He is running with a huge grin on his face. He has white pants and a white shirt on. And somehow, although I can’t see them, I know that his feet are bare.

*I don’t think about the fact that it isn’t safe nowadays to run without shoes, that he could cut himself or things like that...This is MY fantasy. *

Anyway, where was I? Oh, his feet are bare. And there are some flowers in his hand. No, not some flowers, but my favourite, white roses.

I’m wearing a long white dress, of course. I have white flowers in my hair as well and my feet, just like Max’s, are bare.

And I’m running.

Somehow I hear soft music playing. The moment is perfect.

And we’re running.

And running.

I groan in frustration, because we aren’t getting closer.

Then I make a mistake.

I open my eyes.

The view I see is nothing I had expected. It’s horrible, totally horrible.

For a moment I close my eyes, hoping to get that warm fuzzy image again back, but my emotions aren’t the same.

I feel anger. I’m confused. I’m lonely. And I’m sick.

I open my eyes again and not being able to take everything anymore, I scream bloody murder.

I scream so loudly, that I bet Mrs. Adams, who lives on the other side of Roswell and is almost deaf, can hear me.

I scream so loudly, that I hope the man’s ears will be damaged for life.

I scream and scream, letting out all my emotions, and suddenly I feel good. I feel great. Apparently I didn’t need to cry, only to scream.

My bedroom’s door burst open and my two best friends run in.

“What? What it is?” asks a confused Alex.

Maria is walking right behind him, with large, frightened eyes and a baseball bat in her hands.

I take one glance at the man sleeping besides me and I feel sick again.

Literally.

I jump out of the bed and run as fast as possible to the bathroom, only to reach the toilet just in time.

Geez, I bet you are already sick of me getting sick, right?

I hear screams, coming from by bedroom, so I slowly pull myself together, quickly wash my face and mouth and go back to the battlefield.

I walk in slowly back in the bedroom and I understand where the screams came from.

Alex is holding a screaming and kicking Maria, why she is trying to attack that idiot Kyle, who, by the way, is still on my bed.

Hmmm, Alex can’t hold Maria and me at the same time. What if I take that baseball bat and do all the work myself?

Although it sounds more than tempting, I just want him out of my room and if possible, planet Earth as well.

“Kyle,” I say. “I don’t even fuckin’ care what you’re doing in my room, but I want you out in five seconds,” I take my own baseball bat in my hand and raise an eyebrow.

I think Kyle finally gets the hint, because he runs away from my room in four seconds.

What a loser.

My world is spinning a little bit, so I decide to sit down on the bed. It’s safer there, but I try not to think about the fact that Kyle was sleeping there just a couple of minutes ago.

“Maria,” I start calmly as possible, but inside me anger is building, “What was Kyle doing in my room?” I ask, looking at her, “In MY bed?”

Maria is still out of breath, baseball bat in her hand, but Alex isn’t holding her anymore.

“Liz, you fainted at school,” Alex said.

Oh, that explains the blackness and why I was in bed.

But that doesn’t explain why or how Kyle got in my bed.

“And?” I urge Alex on, why does he talk so slow?

“Kyle took you to the nurse,”

Ah, by the way, I want to remind you about mine and Max’s...activities there. Remember? Damn, and I didn’t see nurse’s expression when she saw me in the arms of another man. That had to be funny.

Anyway, back to the story....

“You woke up for a minute, but then blacked out again. The nurse asked Kyle to take you home and said that you needed rest,” Maria explains quickly.

This time I’m grateful for Maria’s fast-talking skills. I swear, Alex would explain something to me for days, while Maria can do it in a second.

“We were with you almost all the time and told Kyle to back off, but he didn’t listen at first,” Maria said, “After we took you home, I made him leave, but I guess he sneaked back again,”

Oh God, this is probably my punishment for making Kyle stay with me.

Life isn’t fair.

***

I’m sitting on my bed.

Maria and Alex have been gone for a while now.

I’m alone again. Alone with my thoughts.

I wonder how did I manage to change my life so…completely? I didn’t want this. I don’t want Kyle. Or heartache.

I want him. Max.

But he hasn’t called.

Hasn’t written.

Or hasn’t visited.

Like he has forgotten about me.

Has he?

I hope not.

But where is he now?

Is he with his family? Maybe he is with that girl, the one he slept with? What if he likes her? What if he really likes her?

I remember my fantasy in the field where Max and I were running to each other.

Now the picture is broken and pieces are shattered.

Instead I see something else...

Max is smiling, he is happy. There is a woman; a beautiful woman by his side and in his hands Max is holding a baby.

They are standing in the front of house with the white picket fence. Their house. They’re happy.

And I’m not in that picture.

I’m alone.

[Erina]

Thanks for the feedback. I guess, this is the end... Oh, and a special thanks to Maya, who helped me with this part.

Part 9

“Hey,” he whispers quietly.

He whispers so quietly that I almost don’t hear him. Almost. But he is here, not so far away from me and he isn’t in my imagination. He is here. I’m not alone anymore.

I look at him. “Hey, Max,” I say, noticing that he doesn’t look good. Yeah, right, who am I kidding? Max always looks great to me. But he is tired. He hasn’t slept; I can see the circles under his eyes. He hasn’t shaved either. His whole body just looks tired. And although there is something sexy in all this, I still want him to get his rest.

But why hasn’t he been sleeping?

He is still standing by the door, like he is afraid I will kick him out.

‘I would never kick him out,’ I think, but then the devil-Liz on my other shoulder reminds me, ‘You already did that once.’

But I can always change, right?

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again and I wince at the hurt I hear in his voice. Like he cares what I think about him.

I’m thinking about what I should ask him first. Should I ask about the pregnant girl or why he left me alone in bed that morning?

“Why did you leave me that morning?” I ask, briefly meeting his eyes.

Silence. He is thinking.

Finally he replies, “I – I don’t know, Liz. I got an important call and I had to go away. I know I should have woken you up. We had to talk about what had happened between us, but...I didn’t do anything at all, I just left,”

I don’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“I guess I was scared in some way,” he admits then, “I-I’m not perfect and make mistakes all the time, like other people and...I made a mistake by leaving you, without an explanation. I knew that you would probably freak out, I wasn’t even sure if you remembered me and....I was disgusted with myself...” he says quietly with so many emotions that I feel tears in my eyes.

“I’m sorry, Liz, I’m so sorry,” he repeats over and over. Brokenly.

I want nothing more than go and hug him. To soothe him like a small child, telling that everything is going to be alright. But I can’t. I still have questions.

“I...” I begin, but I’m not sure what to say or how, “I saw Isabel today and...I heard her conversation...with you, Max,” my voice cracks a little, “On the phone...She mentioned that you...that you have got another girl p-pregnant,” I finally say and look at him.

This time my eyes aren’t leaving his. I want to see every emotion. I want to know the truth.

Max is still standing in the exact same spot, he hasn’t moved.

Neither have I.

He takes a deep breath and I have a feeling this is going to be a long talk.

“My family moved to Roswell because of me,” he finally says, “I had a girlfriend. Her name was Tess,”

Aha, I guess she is the girl he knocked up, huh?

“I had known her for almost all my life, our parents were close friends, but Isabel had never liked her. A couple of years ago our relationship changed and we started to go out on dates. Soon after that we became a couple,” Max tells me, “But then something changed...My feelings changed. It wasn’t fair to her and I told her that I didn’t want to be with her anymore. She didn’t take it well,”

Hmmm, sounds familiar, no? Liz and Kyle vs. Max and Tess. Interesting, who made a bigger foul, Tess or me?

Max continues, “She became hysterical, started yelling and throwing things, saying that she couldn’t live without me. I guess I didn’t realize how much she depended on me, but I wasn’t going to change my mind, I had to break up with her. Despite the fact that I refused to go out with her, Tess began stalking me. She sent me letters, followed me and even talked to my family to convince me to be with her again,”

I guess we have a winner, congrats Tess.

“When my Dad got a offer to start a business here in Roswell, he didn’t think over it for long before he accepted it, so we moved here.”

Wow, sounds horrible. They moved to Roswell just to avoid some stalkerish ex-girlfriend? Hey, I can’t even complain, because if they hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have met Max. See? There always is a bright side!

Anyway, overall it really sounds awful, but how does it explain the pregnancy?

“I went to that party and drank a couple of beers or even more, trying to forget Tess and the mess she had made of my life. I became dizzy and found a free room, so I lay down. Then you came,” Max whispers, “Everything happened so fast, I couldn’t stop; although I knew you were drunk and probably wouldn’t remember anything in the morning, but...I couldn’t stop, Liz,”

I still stare at him. I keep my face blank, not letting my emotions out, although it’s getting harder and harder to do so. I want to hear him first, before crying like a baby.

“The next morning I woke up early and just watched you in sleep,” he smiles a little bit, just barely, but I see it anyway. “You looked so beautiful, Liz, but I didn’t even know your name. I was afraid that you would wake up and hate me for taking your virginity while you were drunk, I was so afraid. Then Tess called,”

Eww, she called him while he was still in bed with me?

“She called, saying that she would kill herself if I didn’t come back,” Max says and my eyes widen.

Geez, that girl indeed has some problems.

“And I just went away. I’m not with her anymore, but I couldn’t let her kill herself,” he tells me quietly.

“What happened?” I ask after a moment of silence.

“I went back as fast as possible, but I-I couldn’t find here anywhere,” Max says. “I couldn’t stay there for long, so I returned to Roswell. Then I met you again, at school,” his voice becomes softer, “I-I knew I had to talk with you and explain everything, but...There just wasn’t any proper moment for it,”

His next words are sudden and unexpected.

“I love you, Liz,” he says, as if those words were the simplest sentence in the world. They slip out of his mouth so easily, like he has spent an eternity, saying them over and over.

I’m touched. I believe him. I believe that Max truly loves me, but what about me? What about my feelings?

I start to cry.

But I’m not even sobbing; I just let my tears fall silently.

Hearing these words from Max is the most beautiful thing in the world; I don’t have words to describe it. I feel happy and…safe. Because I know I can trust Max no matter what, I just know.

I have found peace.

“My parents died two years ago,” I say, my eyes on him. “I’m an only child and I know they loved me very much,” I smile briefly, as the wonderful memories flash in front of my eyes, “Just like I loved them,” I add and gather all my courage to tell Max something I have never told anyone.

I have never liked to talk about my parents after their death; I refused. But I want to tell him everything. I trust him. Simple as that.

“One night I was at a party, my first party,” I say. “I-I went there with my friend, but she disappeared somewhere during the party and I wanted to go home, but I didn’t have a car. I didn’t have any other choice than to call my parents,” my tears start to fall faster and faster, „It was raining. And…I waited and waited for them, but....they never came.” Finally I’m sobbing and I can’t control my tears anymore. I don’t want to control them anymore. I’m sick of being strong.

I feel as Max hugs me tightly and I bury my face in his shirt. And I cry.

He starts to rock me like a small child who had a bad dream. I want it all to be a bad dream; I want that so much.

“Shh,” he soothes quietly and I calm down a little.

“Their car crashed into a tree,” I say, “They both died soon after in the hospital, while I was still standing outside the party and waiting for them to come,”

Max doesn’t say anything, he just holds me.

And I’m grateful for that; I don’t need any words right now. Silence and peace are everything I want.

I’m so tired.

~ ~ ~

I wake up a couple of hours later; I guess I didn’t even realize the moment I fell asleep in Max’s arms.

It’s a wonderful feeling to wake up like that, to be close to someone.

I turn a little bit, in order to see him. He is lying on his back, my head on his chest.

I watch him for a while. He doesn’t drool or say funny things in his sleep. He is...just peaceful. This moment is peaceful.

I feel like I have found a place where I belong; here with Max.

“Hey,” Max’s voice surprises me a little and I turn my attention to his eyes. Yeah, his eyes are open and Max is awake.

“Hey,” I say back and sit up in the bed.

“How are you?” he asks and I can hear concern in his voice.

It’s nice to know that someone cares about me.

I smile, “I’m good,”

“Max?” I say remembering something, “I heard Isabel yesterday, she mentioned something about the baby,” I hold my breath and wait his answer.

“Oh,” is all he says at first, “There is no baby, Liz,”

I’m confused. Although...Isabel did say the magic word “if”, so there always was a possibility that there was no child.

Max explains, “Tess came to Roswell, telling everyone that she was pregnant and I was the father,” he says. “But as soon as I spoke with her, I knew she was lying. We haven’t been intimate for more than six months; she wasn’t pregnant at all,” Max smiles when he sees my smile.

“Yesterday, Tess’ parents came here as well and promised that Tess wouldn’t disturb us again.” He takes my hand and brings it to his lips to kiss it gently.

“Liz, will you be my girlfriend?” he asks quietly and unsurely.

Why he is unsure? Of course I will be his girlfriend. Woo-hooo! I’m Max Evans’ girlfriend!

I smile so widely that I’m afraid I’m damaging my face, but what the heck...Max has just asked me to be his girlfriend, “Yes, Max,” I say and we seal our lips together.

Together. No matter what, we’re going to be together.

~ ~ ~

Graduation Day

Here I am. Liz Parker.

It’s my graduation day and I see only happy faces around me. I’m here, where I belong.

Max is standing behind me, his arms leisurely wrapped around my shoulders. I feel secure. I feel happy.

We are all laughing as Maria and Michael start another their famous fight. They’re together now…sorta. I swear I haven’t seen a relationship like theirs. They fight all the time. Or at least every time I see them. I bet they are doing this all on purpose; the make up sex must be awesome.

My gaze falls on my other best friend, Alex. He is grinning like an idiot right now, but he still looks kind of cute, I must say. Isabel is his girlfriend now and I have never seen him happier. It’s like he has this permanent grin on his face all the time. It sometimes freaks me out.

On the other side of the room I see Kyle. He is over me now (thank God). He came to me and apologized. I have heard that he is back with Serena now. Even more…In the girl’s bathroom, I heard that she is pregnant with his child.

Surprise, surprise, Tess hasn’t stalked Max again. He is free from her.

Everyone is happy now, including me (of course, I’m not talking about Tess).

With Max’s help, I have faced my own demons of the past and I want to believe that I’m over it as well. I don’t feel guilty anymore.

I have a wonderful connection with my grandma again. I even helped her to bake some cookies last week. Although, soon all those cookies were in Max’s stomach.

Max and I…we love each other. After breaking up with Kyle, I didn’t believe I would be happy again. Although looking back now, I understand that I was never happy with Kyle.

Max is my home, my source of happiness. He makes me smile, even without doing anything. I know…sounds cheesy, no? Can’t help it though.

I have Max by my side now and I know one thing now for sure…

Dreams come true.

<center>The end</center>