Salvage (AU M/L Mature 1/1) [COMPLETE]

[maya]

Title: Salvage

Disclaimer: "The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended."

Pairings/Couples/Category: M/L and M/T
Rating: Mature
Summary: What if Max and Liz had a chance to salvage what they had lost? This is a one parter, just something that was dancing around in my head last night and I promised myself I would write it down when I woke up.

Author's Note: There is M/L and M/T but since this is from Liz's POV talking to Max I have put it on the AU board.

Warning: This fic is extremely sad and there is M/T in this.


Salvage


We have talked everything out, without pretense or lies, without harsh or hurtful words. There were so many misunderstandings back then, when we were young and foolish, but now with great love and patience we have wiped the slate clean.

I have explained to you why I had to push you away all those years ago, causing you to turn to Tess, conceiving a child with her and then making her your wife. A few months into the marriage she lost the baby and I remember thinking there might be hope for us but you never left her adding weight to the ache in my heart.

I didn’t know then that the miscarriage left her broken and alone so you stayed, out of loyalty you stayed. After hearing all of your explanations and watching all of your tears fall, regret for what could have been etched into every line of your face, I truly understand now.

You reach your hand out for me and I know this is the right time. Your wife is out of town on business and we have just spent the week together working our mistakes of the past out. Honesty, what was always missing between us in the past is here in abundance tonight.

I feel ready to give myself to you, to try again to salvage what was taken from us years ago, to experience what might have been.

You lead me to your bedroom and I have to laugh. You must have expected this development between us tonight because as soon as I enter the room my senses are assaulted with the smell of lavender, the chocolate satin bed sheets are covered in white rose petals, the whole room is embalmed in candlelight.

‘Max’ I say playfully hitting your stomach ‘You didn’t have to do all of this.’

‘I wanted it to be perfect for you’ you say. Don’t you know Max, that just being with you is perfection itself?

You take off your shirt, throwing it across the room and I put my head against your chest breathing in your sweet yet spicy scent. You wrap your arms around me and we just enjoy being together for a few moments.

Your heart starts racing and I guess you just can’t wait anymore because before I know it you lift my shirt off of me and take my lips in your devouring me completely.

You know I have never made love before and you take the time to cherish me, going slow caressing each and every part of me. With every thrust I feel a greater connection, and yet at the same time a greater sense of being free.

‘I love you Liz’ you scream as you spill your seed in me.

Within seconds I join you over the edge. ‘I love you to Max’ those words don’t even seem enough.

We lie together for hours talking about the future. You say you want to move back to Roswell with me, once your divorce goes through; you want to marry me and have babies with me. I smile. This is exactly what I want, exactly the type of life I want to share with you. I tell you so and we laugh together. I feel like when I was a little girl and Maria and I were planning our future lives with our prince charming’s.

‘You are my knight in shining armor, my prince charming Max’ I tell you and you laugh.

We make love again and then cuddle again until our stomachs are growling and we realize that we haven’t eaten since breakfast.

I watch you get up and put your clothes on. God, you have the most incredible body. I love watching you get dressed.

The look on your face tells me you have caught me staring but you don’t say anything and I blush as you saunter out to the kitchen to cook supper.

Tessa arrives home early, to both our surprises, but at least she finds us eating steak and potatoes at the kitchen table rather than a compromising position.

I look at you hopefully, you smile and nod and I know you are thinking that it is a good thing she is home early. The sooner we tell her about us, the sooner we can start our new life together.

Tess looks positively radiant and surprisingly she even looks happy to see me. I feel a knot in my stomach. Truth be told she is a nice person, I like her and I hate that she will have to be hurt in order for us to be together.

After greeting us she mentions something about being so excited, she says she came home early because she has news she has to share.

You and I look at each other wondering what it could possibly be.

‘Max, I am pregnant. Your going to be a father’ she says.’ That was so not what either of us was expecting..

I look over at you and am surprised to see joy spread across your face.

‘Congratulations’ I say giving Tess a squeeze to which she thanks me and then turns to hug you.

After you smile at her your eyes move to me, staring at me over her shoulder. Every part of your face is speaking to me. I can see by the way your lips have slightly turned down, the crease on your forehead, the intensity in your eyes as they stare into mine, and I know that you will not leave her now, not leave your unborn child.

I look at a still smiling Tess. She is complete now. Something has filled the emptiness she has carried all these years from the baby you lost. The pregnancy will heal her and it will heal you. The curtain lifts from my eyes and I can clearly see that what will be salvaged here today is not you and me. I feel as though a bullet is lodged in my stomach. How could the fates be so cruel to me, to give me something and then immediately take it away?

‘Congratulations Tess’ I say once again in a soft voice that is fighting tears and she pulls away from you, turning to envelope me in a hug.

‘I am so glad you were here to find out the good news’ she says tears of happiness sparkling in her eyes. Max and I will drive down to Roswell this weekend to deliver the good news to everyone else.’

I nod letting her know that I won’t tell them anything before then, while picking up my purse and coat off of the kitchen table and turning to leave.

An hour later you find me on the bench by the boardwalk, the place we’ve come so many times this week to think, to talk, to just be. I hear you approaching and look up, you look crest fallen when you see the tears streaming down my face.

‘Liz’ you say reaching for me.

‘No Max, please don’t’ I say getting up. You can’t say anything now. The plans we have made, the moment we shared is over and words will only tarnish it as if it was never real. We stare at each other for what seems like eternity, both trying to hold onto that place shattered by Tess’s words, that doesn’t exist anymore.

‘Goodbye Max’ are the last words I whisper to you before I get in the car and drive back to Roswell.

It isn’t really goodbye; it’s more a symbol, a way of letting go because I will be seeing you again. There will be the holidays and barbeques and wedding that we both attend and once your child is born birthday parties, ballet recitals or little league games. I will watch them as part of the group but I will feel like I am watching from the outside because you will no longer be my Max, he doesn’t belong to me.

I will pull myself together. There is no question I will, I have always been strong. My life will be normal, but not extraordinary like it once was. There will be happiness but I will never be as happy as I could have been. I will spend a few hours everyday closing my eyes desperately trying to experience you once again; the smell, taste, feel of the time we shared, but they will only be memories that will never compare to something that we can never salvage again.

THE END

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