Unbreakable - A Beautiful Lie (AU M/L ADULT) COMPLETE 5/5/17 + A/N 5/5/19

[keepsmiling7]

Both Nancy and Diane will have a full time job trying to protect their children.
And Sarge..........if he keeps erasing memories, will Nancy and Liz have any minds left??
I am wondering about the gaeas and how Phillip will eventually act?
Great story,
Carolyn

[max and liz believer]

Natalie36 - Thank you


L-J-L 76 - Thank you


Helen (Roswelllostcause)

It seems that Philip has been conflicted about what has been going on with his people for a while. That he really has never agreed with the way Nancy was used and howLiz would be used.

Yes. Maybe there's more to Philip than we thought...

I hope it's still your birthday - in whatever timezone you might be - so that this chapter reached you on your birthday. In any case; HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Thank you so much for the feedback!


Eve (begonia9508) - Thank you for letting me know


Carolyn (keepsmiling7) - Thank you so much for the feedback!



From EIGHTY-FOUR:

He pressed his lips to the side of my neck and I felt every line of his lips as he asked, "Can I do something for you? Get you some water? Take you away from here? Kill my father?"

I couldn't help but smile at this. Because I knew that he was joking with his last suggestion, even though I could sense some truth to it. I could sense it from the protectiveness in his embrace.

In his opinion, his father had caused me pain. And that was not allowed.

"I meant," I pressed a kiss to his hands that I was still pressing against my cheek, "It's not better without you in my mind."

He stilled, his breaths ceasing, but his hold on me remaining strong. There was a couple of seconds of silence, before he asked, "You sure?"

"I freaked out," I admitted, swallowing back a fresh batch of threatening tears. "I didn't mean to react like that-"

"Liz, it's-"

"No," I interrupted. "It's not okay. I can't ask of you to be completely open with me," his arms trembled against my chest as the memory of him letting go - of being completely open with me just hours earlier - heated my mind and body, "if I myself try to hide at the first hint of something uncomfortable."

"That was more than uncomfor-" Max objected, but I interrupted him again.

"I need to see that you're okay." My voice sounded a lot more vulnerable and exposed than I had intended.

Another lengthy pause transpired between us, before he agreed in a hushed whisper, "Okay," and unblocked his mind.

____________________________________

EIGHTY-FIVE

At first, there was only me. His concern for me was overriding everything else. I felt myself sink into him, my body finally relaxing against his front, an unhindered sigh crossing my lips.

When he started to realize that I was okay, that I was slowly regaining some peace, other things started to stir beneath the surface of his consciousness. And little by little, it became very clear to me that he was in shock.

His thoughts and feelings lacked their normal structure. They were unanchored, leaving his mind as soon as they had arrived. Things were making sense to him, childhood events were being explained. But simultaneously, nothing made sense any longer. He was untethered, floating aimlessly in this large silent space where his reality had been desperately compromised.

I recognized parts of his feelings and was familiar with certain aspects of his thoughts. It was what I had been feeling when I found out about the existence of aliens. When I had found out that the boy I was falling in love with was not entirely human. When some of the more basic rules of life had been shaken and altered. Granted, it had all been muffled by the death of my mom and everything going on around us, but the core of his emotions was like an eerie reproduction of my own.

Which is why I instinctively knew that I needed to get him out of there.

I shuffled in his embrace, pushing my legs underneath me, softly removing his arms from my waist while holding onto one of his strong wrists while I got to my feet.

"Come," I asked him, looking down into his eyes heated with the color of amber.

He knew that I needed us to go outside, but his absent long look in his father's direction also informed me that he needed more answers. That he needed to know more now. His father had opened a can of worms and Max wanted to inspect them in detail under a microscope.

"Go," Mr. Evans agreed in the spotlight of my boyfriend's flickering gaze.

"We need a break," I said, catching Max's eyes as he looked back up at me. "We need some fresh air."

There was a subtle twitch to his eye, bubbling frustration brushing the fringes of our bond, as he hesitated. He was already considering blocking me from this. That he alone would be the recipient to his father's memories, without the risk of hurting me further. So that he could stay behind and get more information from his father.

My heart fluttered with the brief sting of pain as he, almost as by routine, kept reverting back to him feeling like keeping me in the dark was the best way to protect me.

I forced the pain to the side and smiled at Max softly, my own tears from Mr. Evans' memory of my mother still drying on my cheeks. "Humor me."

"I'll be here when you get back," Mr. Evans promised. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Evans was actually reading the situation - and Max's hesitancy - with sharp accuracy. Especially after having seen into Mr. Evans' mind.

Mr. Evans' promise broke through Max's hesitation and Max got to his feet, looping his arm around my waist and placed a kiss to my temple as he pulled me into his side. "Let's go."

*****

Max had called it diversion. The act of hiding what you were really thinking behind disguising thoughts. He had said that it was difficult to do properly, but had also hinted to it being the light version of blocking. Which I had already succeeded in doing.

If I had been hiding my true intentions behind words, it would have been called a white lie. Being at the mercy of the bond (which enabled him to read my intentions even when I didn't say them out loud) hiding something from him was a bit more tricky.

So maybe it was actually diversion when I concentrated on busying my mind around an innocent interest in learning how to use energy blasts. Maybe it was a diversion to shove my true motive - of wanting him to react to everything that was going on inside of him right now - to the most obscure corners of my mind, because I feared that he would bottle it up inside of him otherwise.

And I think I was doing a rather good job at that 'diversion' thing, judging by the odd look Max gave me when I - as soon as we got outside of the hostel - asked him to blast a large rock to pieces.

My request had halted his concern for me, had confused his plan to just take a few breaths of fresh air to oblige my request to go outside, before he would deposit me in the care of either Isabel or Alex before returning to his father to get his hands on the rest of the information Mr. Evans might possess about our connection.

Not surprisingly, his immediate reaction was annoyance, which was slowly transforming into anger as his eyes narrowed in response to my poorly chosen time to learn to use energy blasts. He was - right in front of my eyes - getting so worked up that his body was starting to tremble. Clearly, there was a lot of other things going on in his mind right now, because he wouldn't react to such a request quite so radically otherwise. Of that, I was rather sure.

His features were dark in the meager light of the early morning. Not even the moon was out to offer any light. Dark grey clouds obscured the morning glow as I watched the darkness of Max's features gradually come to match the darkness of the sky.

"Liz," he said slowly, taking a step back from me. "Now is not the ti-"

I forced a smile on my face, concentrating on the mental facade obscuring my real thoughts. "There's never a good time to do this, Max." I licked my lips as I paused hesitantly. "But don't you think it would be good for me to know how to use blasts? We don't know how much longer we have until we have to go out into battle."

He was searching my face, searching my mind, the frown between his eyebrows turning deeper.

With a deep sigh, he breathed the concentration out of his body and said, "Let's just calm down a bit and then go back inside." Hardness twitched in the corners of his mouth, "I'm sure dad has a lot more secrets to tell."

My eyes traced down his controlled profile as he looked out over the scenery. A storm was coming. You could feel it in the air. It was buzzing with electricity, making the small hairs on my arms tingle. It made me feel at peace, somehow. As if it was a comfort that nature was mimicking our moods.

Well, Max's mood.

For some reason, I was perfectly calm. My focus was 100% on getting Max out of the state he was in. It prevented me from focusing on myself, on what the revelation about parims might mean for me. Discounting how reliving the presence of my mother - and her protectiveness and love towards my younger self - through Mr. Evans' mind had touched on that panic inside of me again, the whole confusing topic of parims did not touch me half as much as it should. Maybe it was because I had already been landed the biggest bomb (the existence of aliens), making other revelations about certain oddities in my own self barely ruffle me.

I pulled a deep silent breath into my lungs and closed the distance he had created between our bodies. Brushing both of my hands down his left arm, I lifted to the tip of my shoes and brushed my lips against the skin just in front of his ear, whispering, "Please?" The reluctance in him made his body stiff and had me resort to a low blow, "I need to be able to protect myself."

I pulled back to catch his eyes drifting closed, struggling with himself, before he mumbled harshly, "Get back."

Immediately, I took a step back. His hard words had my blood freeze and I looked at him cautiously.

But before I could retreat too far from him he had captured my hand, his hold moving my diverted eyes up to his in surprise.

His apologetic gaze was burning into me intensely, creating smoldering contrast to his dark emotions. "I didn't mean it like that."

How easily he could make my heart ache. The power he had to make me feel invincible, but also to make me feel uncertain and out of my depth.

And he was already hating himself for it as his voice softened along with his penetrating look, "I don't want you to get hurt. I'm not-" his hand tightened around mine with his strained inhalation, "I'm not really in control of myself right now. I can't risk you getting hurt, I-"

My heart was breaking at the vulnerability in his voice. The fear. So I cut his angst short by stepping into his body and wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him close. He folded around me, his arms pressing tightly into my back, around my waist. His breath was hot against the skin curving my neck.

"You won't hurt me," I whispered to him, extremely aware of how his hold tightened further, and added soothingly, "But I'll step back."

He relaxed against me, brushing his lips against my skin, before letting me go.

Pulling back, I looked up at him and added, "But I want some instructions after, Mister." My voice was wobbling with emotion when it was supposed to be stern, something that had a brief smile touch his lips.

Softly, he agreed, "Yes, ma'am." He hitched his head towards a collection of larger stones to our left. "Get behind there. You'll be able to see, while still being protected."

I glanced over my shoulder at the collection of dark orange-colored boulders, before meeting his eyes again to give him a confirming nod.

I picked up his hand, pressed his palm to my cheek for a second, letting my eyes drift close at the warmth in him, before lifting it to place a soft kiss to the center of his palm.

Looking up at him through my lashes, I smiled at him, "Give me your best, Evans."

But the darkness was still too strong in him to smile. Instead he seemed to take my teasing order quite literally and diverted his eyes pointedly at the stones behind me, causing me to roll my eyes at him in attempt to lighten the mood. Obediently, I turned to walk up to the rocks.

The first heavy drop of the incoming rain fell on my cheek, tumbling down the heat in my face, as I crouched behind the boulders. I had a good view of him from there.

A very good view.

Silently, I traced my eyes down the height of his body, even from a distance seeing the strength of his muscles, seeing the lines of their definition through his clothing. His body was transforming in front of me. From looking resigned and confused into straightening with determination.

I watched his lips form a circle as he concentrated his breathing on taking deep breaths, filling his body with noticeable power. He pulled his shoulders back, lifted his chin and pushed out his chest slightly. His left hand clenched next to his hip, eliciting visible ripples in his biceps and triceps, the fascinating contractions disappearing under the short sleeve of his T-shirt at the top of his arm. His right hand was raising in front of him, stretching out in a firm straight line away from his body, his palm angled upwards ninety degrees at his wrist.

His chest lifted with another deep breath, before he stilled and slowly looked over at me.

My mouth was dry, my lips parted, my eyes wide with fascinated enchantment as I met his heated look. It told me everything I needed to know. Stay safe.

I nodded quietly, transfixed, and his eyes let me go causing a whoosh of air to flow into my lungs as the rain drops falling from the sky increased in frequency.

Then his hand started glowing. First with the color of the most beautiful summer sun, before it quickly blended into white only the fraction of a second before it blinked out, making his hand look oddly naked with the absence of light.

But it hadn't 'blinked out'. The energy had been transferred; released from his body. Because the next moment I jumped in frightened surprise as some rocks a couple of feet ahead of him exploded into fine pieces of dust. Completely annihilated.

My heart was beating fast in my chest as I turned eyes back to Max. His eyes were on me, making sure that I hadn't been hurt, and before I even had a chance to verbally express my amazement over what I had just seen (I had actually never seen him shoot anything before), he redirected his eyes towards the desert scenery in front of him and repeated the procedure.

The accumulation of his energy was faster this time. His hand was emerged in the white light before I had time to blink and was released even before that.

I jumped as a large rock formation exploded in the distance, small pieces of the wreckage flying off in all direction, dust flowing up in the air.

Before I had time to look back at Max, another larger rock exploded next to the demolished rock formation. And I realized that it was escalating. Max was firing off blasts before I had time to brace myself, to react, to blink or breathe.

Our surroundings were covered with a fine veil of dust as rain ripped heavily through it. I brushed my hand over my face to get the increased amount of rain out of my eyes, missing as Max cleaved a tree in half.

I squinted against the rain, trying to see through the haze it brought together with the dust, and look at Max.

Wild.

That was the word that sprung to my mind.

He looked absolutely wild. A strong cold shiver raced through me at the sight, magnified by the coolness the heavy morning rain brought.

His hair was pitch black, hugging his scalp with its wetness. His mouth was open, rain flowing over his lips, ignoring the violent breaths escaping from his rapidly heaving chest. His T-shirt clung to every line of his upper body, the water making his olive-colored skin glisten. There was a slight tremble in his left hand, the one that had only previously been firm and clenched at his side, and his shooting hand was making minute fluttering movements up and down with every blast.

As I watched, the corners of his mouth pulled down and back, his bottom jaw pushing forward, revealing his teeth. Under my fearful observation, he let out a roar, simultaneously spinning his body to his right, away from me, and firing one blast after the other without a single interrupting pause.

I had time to wonder how he was able to so quickly refuel himself, before his hand dropped heavily as he sank to his knees in the wet sand.

My heart was slamming painfully against the inside of my ribcage, the guilt already chewing away at the edges of my soul.

What had I done?

I had wanted him to find an outlet for his emotions. I had wanted him allow himself to feel what he had been going through.

But as I got my shaking legs to function in order to cross the distance between us - the wet sand making my steps heavy and tiresome and the rain slicking my hair to my face against the backdrop of the destroyed landscape - I was convinced that I had made a major mistake.

My eyes were fixed on his shaking shoulders, the tension in his bent over back so noticeably it made my heart chill. Rain droplets were clinging heavily to my eyelashes, obscuring my vision, making me doubt if I was seeing what I was seeing.

Because I was seeing vapor come off his exposed wet neck. Steam swirling like a white fog around his body. A fine mist that broke through the chilled rain. I blinked, discarded it as a trick of the eyes as I stopped right behind his hunched over figure.

I fell to my knees behind him, reached out to touch him, and quickly pulled my hand away at the contact with his skin, letting out a surprised yelp.

Max tensed, his fear slamming into me, as I looked at my hand - expecting it to explain why it had just felt as if I had been burnt.

Within the fraction of a moment, he had gotten to his feet and moved away from me.

The rain was falling into my squinting eyes as I looked up at him, perplexed. His face was dark, lifeless even when fueled with fear.

"Stay away, Liz," he grumbled warningly.

My heart was beating in my throat, the burning sensation in my finger slowly ebbing in the rain. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head guardedly, taking a step back as I took a step forward. "No. Liz."

My eyes misted behind wet eyelids and I had to yell to get my voice to carry over the roar of the rain that was picking up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to... I'm sorry. I was trying to help."

The heavy darkness across his face darkened further. "This is not your doing." He shook his head again, fervently and almost violently, as his voice picked up in anger, "Don't you see? I'm the freak here. I'm not just a fucking alien, now I'm a fucking parim too?!" He huffed angrily, pushing his hands through his hair and tugging his head backwards towards the sky. "As if it wasn't enough that I'm one out of a very small - fucked up - race." He lowered his head back to me, his eyes trained on the devastated look in my eyes. "As if it wasn't enough that I'm cursed with a rare ability. Now I'm completely different from everyone else! A complete freak. I'm pure energy?" He bit the words out acidly. "What the hell is that? Don't you see, Liz? I can never get past this. I can never have even a resemblance of a normal existence. This..." he shook his head, his arms tight like steel alongside his body, "This is too much to ignore. I'm completely fucked up."

His self-loathing was robbing me of my words. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that I didn't want him to be 'normal', I wanted him to be him. Because labels didn't matter. As long as he was the beautiful Max I loved.

But the way in which the rain turned into steam as it collided with his exposed skin was stopping me from moving.

Was this what he had always been afraid of? Was this how his body reacted when he lost the control over it? Would this destroy him?

The fear bolted through me with such force that I almost screamed out in pain. The fear that he might die - right in front of me - had my legs move quickly up to him. My move had been so instinctive and sudden that he hadn't read my intention before it was too late.

I crashed my wet front against his, felt the zing as the heat from his body burned into my body, felt the way it heated and instantly dried my clothes before it burned into my skin as I wrapped my arms tightly around him.

"Nooo!" he cried, his voice sounding as if it came from the deepest pit of his being. He tried to push me away, but even though my clothes were threatening to be set on fire and my skin was begging me to move away, my grip only tightened with some inhuman strength as I lifted my face and fused our lips together.

He started to pull his head back, desperate to protect me - protect me from himself, when I felt the heat of his body start to cool. He felt it too, evident from how he stilled in his actions to get me away from me, instead moving his lips against mine in a dumbfounded and tentative response.

Gradually, the heat was chilled, the coolness melting into my body, healing whatever burns I might have managed to receive in that short time.

With the threat of him moving away from me removed, I loosened my grip around his waist and moved my hands up his arms to cradle his jaw. Our kiss softened, his body sagging in relief against me, making me stumble backwards slightly, before he put his arms around my shoulders and pressed me closer, deepening the kiss.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he mumbled weakly against my lips. "You could have killed yourself."

I pulled back, looked up into his eyes and gave him a guilty half-smile. "You know me; I'm reckless."

He deliberately shook his head, as if he couldn't quite believe my attitude towards my own well-being, bringing his hands up to wipe at the rain that continuously wet my cheeks. His eyes were sad and haunted as he leaned in and placed a lingering gentle kiss on my wet lips.

"I love you," he mumbled almost painfully, as he pulled back. "I love you so much."

I swallowed slowly and brushed my fingers through his hair. "I love you." His eyes gleamed with hesitancy - as if he couldn't quite believe my words - so I added, "We're stronger together. Remember? We balance each other out. Believe in that, Max." I momentarily bit the inside of my lip before adding, "Believe in us."

His eyes roamed my face silently. There were so many emotions in his eyes, so many conflicting feelings contained in his tense frame. After a couple of seconds with only the loud sound of pouring rain around us, he whispered, "We should get inside."

I looked at him closely, trying to judge his mental state but finding it impossible, before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. His breath was loud and warm against my ear as I agreed with a simple, "Okay."


TBC...

____________________________

A/N: Okay, by the next chapter I'm all caught up with "myself" since this board shut down in November. Which means that the posting schedule will return to normal. Which in my world means that there'll be an update approximately every three days. So, next update will be on Friday.

Thank you for reading!

Love,
Jo

[L-J-L 76]

Great Chapter!!!! Please please please please please please please please please please come back and post more really really really really soon? I can't wait to read what will happen next for Max and Liz. Wow Max has a bad temper. Glad Liz took Max outside to calm him down. It seems Mr. Evans has a lot of explaining to do to Max and Liz.


From:
L-J-L 76

[Roswelllostcause]

Great part! Max and Liz really are a pair. Just when one of them stops pulling away the other tries! Nice to see Liz pulling Max to his senses.



Helen

Thanks for the birthday present.

[keepsmiling7]

Can't wait for more secrets being revealed from Mr. Evans.
Liz really checked out Max......quite a "look-see"!
Your description of a rain soaked Max as absolutely B E A U T I F U L! (and very sexy)
Have I missed the problem with being a "parim"?
Thanks,
Carolyn

[Morning Dreamgirl]

Feedback Chapter 77

Shocking! I'm actually posting! I blame the excitement of reading about Max and Liz finally being 100% comfortable with each other again and seeing each other at their worst and best now. But I digress... You want to read the feedback right?

It's absolutely horrible that Max went through all that pain and suffering. I think it's worse than they would normally use on people too because they would have known he was used to pain (and blocking pain) so they would have used more extreme methods on him - the most painful ones they could.

The fact that they (probably very quickly) started using threats against Liz on him makes it even more horrible. Even though it made him *stronger* it also weakened a part of him that he kept hidden from them. And it's a good thing he did in all honesty. Still, I think if the rebellion (with the help of Liz and the connection) wouldn't have gotten him out of there when they did he would have turned into a deeply angry person and it would have taken the connection much, much longer to heal him - if at all possible. If he had to watch Liz actually suffer like they threatened him there's no telling how far he would have gone down his black hole.

I'm glad that he was able to stay defiant and not break. That he was able to stand up to Command even if he was basically on the ground and literally beaten within an inch of his life every time Command finished with him. I'm curious as to who helped Command. I know it was usually Command but you hinted at someone else being there. I can see the Mayor being one of them. I'm not sure about Dresden. I suppose on how deeply his cover with Command remains intact. That would make it harder on Max to trust the rebellion though - one more thing they did to harm him and Liz. Max had to know Liz would eventually see the memories whenever they made it out of there - if they ever did. And it would hurt her to see it. Plus it would make sense at his previous anger towards the rebellion. He would do things so much differently if he were in control of it. He'd never let anyone suffer like that. Especially if it would harm or affect Liz in any way.

The bond is obviously aware that it's time for them to deal with some of the deeper issues. If it's finally bringing the most painful parts of Max's torture to the foreground than it obviously thinks they're ready to handle it. Or it knows that they need to because of time constraints, etc.

To have Liz see all those things that happened to Max and to have him relive them would be horrible. For them, as Liz observed, to have their love used against them so horribly is just heart breaking.

It really makes me wonder why. It seems like it's so much more than Command wanting to stay in power. If that was the case there are other ways (it would seem) to go about doing that. So why was it so important to separate those two? Why try to get Max to break? Why try to bond Liz to Sean? Obviously the ultimate end of Nancy and Steven's bonding never came to fruition (children) but why is it so important for Liz's bloodline to produce a child with an Antarian and why not Max as that Antarian? It has to be more than just the rules that are in place. Hmm...

Speaking of parents/children/strategy: it would have been heartbreaking for Philip to see his son like that. After all the things he went through - every sick thing Command could come up with - he had to heal Max. I don't think Command would heal him. First off, Max wouldn't have allowed it. It would have meant submitting to him (even if no bond was created during the healing) which he wouldn't do. Secondly, why help someone you're trying to break? You wouldn't. It would take longer to break them.

So I'm thinking Command knows (or at least suspects) Philip is part of the rebellion. He's basically punishing him by forcing him to see his son like that and to feel his son's pain. After all he could, theoretically, have David's father heal him (if he's still alive). So either way there's no going back for Philip - or any of the Evans family in sure.

It makes Philip giving them time to heal on their terms even more understandable and yet admirable at the same time.

I'm glad that they're able to be so lighthearted in the midst of all this. It would be so easy to let yourself not enjoy the small things while you're focused on healing. The fact that Liz can laugh during yoga and they can just enjoy their walks together, etc. That's going to be a major thing later on even after all this is behind them. Even surrounded with all the bad things going on there were good moments.

And I'm also so glad that Max realizes Liz is okay with their physical relationship. It's important that he had let her take that final step but it still would have been easy for him to overthink it or worry about whether she was really ready, etc. The fact that he trusted her enough to know and then listened to her (even after having his own mini-breakdown) shows just how much he's grown from the man who argued with her in the desert and outside of the school.

The fact that he trusts her so completely to hand over control to her as well. That's just amazing for him. And at the same time the fact that (he especially) lost so much control this time. They're more of equals now versus him having to always be shielding her, protecting her, guiding her. He'll still always do those things but it's more out of personality and love and not because he doesn't trust her to not be able to do it herself.

I might be wrong but I think that the experience Liz went through was her finally submitting herself fully to the bond and its power. She finally wasn't afraid or overwhelmed by it. That is huge if they ever want it fully developed - both for themselves and to possibly join the rebellion. She was finally able to be with Max on her terms and not because of outside factors that *both* of them were trying to control or respond to the safest.

That being said I'm surprised they (but especially Max) didn't notice a difference when they first came together. Even with the emotions. In some ways the emotions would have made the difference in physical sensation even more noticeable. I think the bond was looking out for them at that point. Otherwise there's no way Liz would have been aware enough to think through the fact that they still needed protection.

By the way - let me know if there are any books in that house. I'll lob one at Max's head. One little wave of his hand and they're protected. Especially as it didn't sound like there was protection in the room with them. It would help them from too getting carried away or risking something they're not ready for.

Everyone's all for strengthening the bond and I imagine a "barrier" would allow that and still keep them safe from something they're not ready for yet. It's so heartwarming for Max to finally see that Liz *does* want children with him. It's one more block to help build him back up again and fully heal him.

Though can I just say it might be a little awkward now that they're back to a physical relationship? At least while they are hiding in the same house with everyone else. At some point the bond is really going to explode and I have a feeling that it will happen when they're together. That would probably be a little awkward given what they do to lights, etc. That's really sort of the breakfast you want to skip out on the next morning - with everyone knowing *exactly* what you were doing the night before.

*laughs*

I have a feeling Liz would be more embarrassed than Max. Especially with all the parents.

Anyways - loved it! But I don't think there's been a chapter I've ever hated or even disliked so you're kind of on a roll here.

[Morning Dreamgirl]

Feedback Chapter 78

You know I really loved this chapter. I'm not sure that it was any one thing but just overall I really loved it. Maybe it was how you touched on a bunch of different small things and yet maintained a beautiful flow throughout. Hmm...

I really loved Max and Liz being back together physically again (sort of). They've gone through so much (for years really). To be able to be together and not have to hide it from those around them would be almost like a dream after their recent nightmares. To actually be *encouraged* to be together and deepen/strengthen the bond must at times feel like a fairytale. Of course the reason people *want* them to strengthen the bond isn't exactly the happy part of their fairytale but still.

It was so sweet and intimate - Max trying to get Liz to stay. All his life he's wanted her (even if he didn't want to admit it) so to have her in a bed with him and not have to hide it? Well you can see how he wouldn't want to let her out of his sight after the last few hours they spent together. Especially given the fact the last time they were separated after being intimate they were both tortured for so long. They might be in a safe place but no place is fully safe while Command and those who support him are still out there. In fact we don't know how much of the alien population support Command and how much support the rebellion. I imagine most are pretty clueless about what has been building up.

I mean even Isabel (until recently) hasn't seen much of the bad side of their culture. She defended it during Max's punishment in the freezer. She also defended her father so fully and passionately to Liz during their confrontation earlier in the story. In her mind her father had always had a hand in helping to look after Liz and her mother, not a hand in controlling and tormenting her. Most of the population is under the same opinion and it's *Max* who keeps breaking their laws and messing things up (if the party was any indication). So M/L's separation anxiety, given *all* the different circumstances, makes a lot of sense.

Still their playful behavior towards each other and the way they can so intimately tease each other and put each other on edge but *happily* on edge really came through in the midst of all that. The way they're becoming more and more relaxed around another from spending time together - and their deep connection has definitely helped in that regard. And I think that easy teasing of one another is so important. Max has never gotten to show that side of himself (fully) to anyone and Liz really needs the closeness him teasing her and laughing *with* her brings.

Already it's started to help her heal. If she didn't have Max and their connection it would take *years* for her to learn to deal with everything (if ever). The fact is she's not just feeling better emotionally but she's physically doing better as well. Everyone around them has to be seeing how much better their getting. I'm sure that's why Philip has been allowing things to continue at this pace. I have a feeling he has more say in the rebellion than he did in the old system.

Ignoring all the other relationships he has with them (father, teacher, helper, advocate, protector) he's their doctor. If he tells the other members on the rebellion they're not ready they have to listen or risk losing the only advantage they have. I have a feeling Philip is soon going to say he thinks they *are* ready though - at least enough to fight even if not fully healed and living happy lives. Max on the other hand, in his deep concern and protectiveness towards Liz, is probably going to go against his father. He's won the fights (that we've known about) up until now. I don't know how many more he can keep winning when it's so apparent they *are* getting better.

Speaking of appearance and seeing their improvement. I get the feeling that the two of them haven't developed the connection fully. Like it's not fully there yet. So I'm wondering how they can finally solidify it. There was the (possible) first bond when they were children. Then the healing - then the night in Hondo. And this time Liz let go of her fear, etc. of the connection. So what happens now? How does it go deeper? I imagine it's helping *both* of them reach full strength. So Liz needs training on how to handle powers - as in should've started awhile ago - and Max needs to learn to harness that amount of power while also making sure he doesn't drain Liz (so he's not constantly worried about that).

But once the connection is well and truly completed what happens? Obviously their are some powers that can't be used on them already. Hopefully physical control (especially by Command) will become one of those powers that are nullified. But instead of merely hearing each other's thoughts could they see what the other sees? Make themselves feel one another, hear one another, etc.? Over great distances for things? How do you even test that given that they can't be separated right now because of the danger? (Not to mention that neither would agree to it.)

But then there's no way Max would want Liz to go up against Command. And I don't know if they could do that without fully damaging who they are. Does that mean they can give energy to others like Isabel? Or even transfer enough energy for others to wear Command and his followers down? Hmm...

I'm curious how much time has passed since they've been there. It seems like two to three weeks since they re-opened the bond (and that took a couple of days). But I could be off. If it's too long that gives the others more time to prepare against attacks and search for Max and Liz. But if it's not long enough any chance of possibly recruiting more help for the rebellion side goes down (and recruiting more people may or may not be a good thing).

The other thing I haven't mentioned is how easily Max and Liz connected as children. It just flew open upon great distress. Almost like they had been connected before but that connection was hidden until there was great emotional feelings coupled with touching. So had they been connected before that? And then that connection hidden? Just as Jeff's knowledge of Antarians had been? It would make sense. And it explains why Liz can do all these things - pause the connection, hide herself from Max, etc. If the knowledge was placed in her mind but hidden until she needed it that makes a lot of sense. One wonders why all her memories would be the same though instead of erased? Perhaps out of respect? But there has to be something else.

I wonder if Philip had a hand in it all those years. Like as Max learned to shield his thoughts he hid the same information in Liz's mind. That would make him much more of an advocate for them (and more of a protector) than they'd realize. He'd know more than Max thinks he would. If he knew how to unlock memories and all and if he somehow made it so that even Sean didn't erase her memories, merely hid them. Hmm... It also explains why Nancy would remember everything. If they had (as one of their first test subjects) made it so that any time someone tried to erase her memories they would go to "hidden" (i.e. locked away) status instead.

Anyways a bit of a bunny trail but it goes along with their connection (which they used for the first time *together* after Liz discovered the truth). And it goes along with "all the fuss" that Michael mentioned.

Yes, there might be a lot of fuss but if they've been groomed or preparing for this for years (even without realizing it) there would be a lot of "fuss". Especially given how powerful they actually will end up being.

Of course if the first primary response to the unknown is deep fear then I'm not sure Liz is ready. At this point Michael is right to put his shield up. She can't control her energy and she's almost at a "shoot first, ask later" state. Though I have to admit that seeing Michael thrown off guard like that was hilarious. Even more so than the cafeteria scene.

I keep going back and forth on him. One part of me thinks he could have been part of those in the shadows, secretly helping them and preparing them all this time. And that even now he keeps that knowledge hidden in order to help protect them better and because he's so used to being closed off. It would give a better explanation as to why he invited a Gaea and her best friend to an aliens-only party than a "I want to add Maria to my bed post notch." But then the conversations we get hinted at via Max (insignificant human, etc.) seem to back up Liz's stance of him not being on Max's side enough to be trustworthy. But then maybe Michael says those types of things to push Max closer to Liz. Because Michael knows Max would defend her.

I know you've said that they don't have a close relationship and it's more of a working one. But just going by the story you have me completely up in the air about Michael. Right now he seems to be the only "black and white" character in the story and I know you don't write them like that so color me intrigued.

Still it was nice to see Max defend Liz so fully against Michael. I imagine he's wanted to push him for awhile about a great many things.

That had to come as a shock to Michael though. Especially from someone like Max who wouldn't have been specifically trained in attempting to get through shields, etc. Though I imagine that just like Max perfecting memory wipes in a sub-conscious competition with Sean he'd have done even more with military skills in general. Maybe he never consciously prepared himself for having to kill someone but he was (and is) prepared to do it to anyone who hurt Liz or threatened to. He did allow Sean to kill Nancy. Knowing military tactics, protocols, maneuvers, etc. would be just as important as mind wipes. If Liz were ever to be with their military for any reason he would want to know what was most likely happening. Especially if Sean were a part of if. And growing up in the shadow of the military I'm sure he picked up more than Michael realized. Perhaps purposefully if the rebellion had any say of it behind the scenes. It would make sense that they would want Max to know in case things worked out like the wanted them too. And, of course, as a healer it would be important to know in case he ever needed to heal someone during a battle. So I'm not surprised that Max got through Michael's shield. Michael, obviously, wasn't pleased though.

Of course he wasn't pleased on Liz calling him out on everything either. If he was secretly helping then he'd be extremely annoyed and angry right now at her accusations. Obviously he's almost always around Max so he had to cover for some things like Mr. Evans did. If he only strictly followed the rules then Max would have been turned in a lot more often and much sooner I imagine.

And if he is loyal to whoever is in charge *instead* of his charge then he has to be annoyed right now at her accusations given that his entire world has been thrown on its head and yet he *is* still remaining loyal and guarding Max. Even in the middle of the night when other people are sleeping, he gets up when he hears Liz in the bathroom. So being told he's not trustworthy? In his eyes - either way - Liz doesn't know what she's talking about.

But then again, there's always a way around. The question is how often he actually did that or not. Even if he and Max aren't friends and have merely a working relationship he obviously doesn't want him hurt on his watch. To include, I imagine, by Command, etc. It has to reflect badly on him when Max keeps doing all these things. Hmm..

I'm secretly pulling for Michael to be a good guy who's looked out for M/L. Not that he has to be all warm and cuddly right off the bat but more on their side (and more goodness to him) than they think.

I'm glad that Max was able to stand up to Michael though - regardless as to whether he ends up being a black and white character or not. He's finally able to show that Liz *does* belong by his side which is long time coming for both of them. And later on possibly a very emotional one as well. It's the first time they stood before someone who may not appreciate their relationship (even if they're not out to destroy it) and came out closer together. They made a statement tonight and I hope it helps them (in the long run) realize that they *can* stand up for their right to be together to anyone who may disagree.

Of course there are still things to work out. Max had to have incredible fear to get dressed and get to Liz so quickly. I can't imagine what was going through his mind at the time when he felt *her* fear. The amount of energy surging through the both of them? Well it might be hard to get any sleep for awhile.

And then there's the point that Liz touched on briefly in the bathroom. Max might be making her glow but she was afraid of him for years. Or at the very least suspicious of him. I doubt it was always like that. So how do you tell the person you love more then life that you purposefully made her afraid? That over the years she would turn to you to keep her safe and, while you were doing so and healing her, you were also feeding her small amounts of suspicion and fear? That's the most "alien" thing Max has ever done and they're both going to have to talk about that and overcome it at some point.

Okay - I'm just gonna wrap it up. Otherwise you'll be reading this for hours. *laughs*

I loved it - again! I'm sure I'll love the next one as well though.

[begonia9508]

Ok... that was hard for Max, to learn about his new title 'parim' but what he is lacking - at this time - is to learn how to be a 'parim'... even children have to learn and in this matter, he is a kid! With the time and with Liz to support him likes the way she did, it will work well...

His father should have told him that a long time ago, because Max has to deal with the knowledge and it would be better if he could have some preparations before he kill someone!

Thanks loved it! EVE

[max and liz believer]

L-J-L 76

Wow Max has a bad temper.

Max feels really betrayed and like he's been kept in the dark. This makes him react in extreme ways

Thank you for the feedback!


Helen (Roswelllostcause)

Just when one of them stops pulling away the other tries! Nice to see Liz pulling Max to his senses.

That's exactly right.

Thank you for the feedback!


Carolyn (keepsmiling7)

Liz really checked out Max......quite a "look-see"!

Your description of a rain soaked Max as absolutely B E A U T I F U L! (and very sexy)

Thank you

Have I missed the problem with being a "parim"?

No, you haven't. Max is just reacting...

Thank you so much for the feedback!


Ashley (Morning Dreamgirl)

The fact that they (probably very quickly) started using threats against Liz on him makes it even more horrible. Even though it made him *stronger* it also weakened a part of him that he kept hidden from them. And it's a good thing he did in all honesty. Still, I think if the rebellion (with the help of Liz and the connection) wouldn't have gotten him out of there when they did he would have turned into a deeply angry person and it would have taken the connection much, much longer to heal him - if at all possible. If he had to watch Liz actually suffer like they threatened him there's no telling how far he would have gone down his black hole.

Yes, that would probably be the case

The bond is obviously aware that it's time for them to deal with some of the deeper issues. If it's finally bringing the most painful parts of Max's torture to the foreground than it obviously thinks they're ready to handle it.

Yep. Or it's Max that is starting to feel safe again and relaxing in Liz's company, meaning that he's letting his walls down automatically...

So why was it so important to separate those two? Why try to get Max to break? Why try to bond Liz to Sean? Obviously the ultimate end of Nancy and Steven's bonding never came to fruition (children) but why is it so important for Liz's bloodline to produce a child with an Antarian and why not Max as that Antarian?

Because Max is not military. He's not supposed to be out "in battle". He's supposed to heal the wounded. Be on the sidelines. A gaea would be "wasted" on him. Sure, he might be able to heal better and more encompassing injuries, but still it's more pertinent to have a gaea bond with a military man. What would actually happen if there was a child between a gaea and an alien? Does anyone really know? Has it happened before (they haven't been on Earth that long, after all) or is it just something that they hypothesize will be a powerful offspring?

Speaking of parents/children/strategy: it would have been heartbreaking for Philip to see his son like that. After all the things he went through - every sick thing Command could come up with - he had to heal Max. I don't think Command would heal him. First off, Max wouldn't have allowed it. It would have meant submitting to him (even if no bond was created during the healing) which he wouldn't do. Secondly, why help someone you're trying to break? You wouldn't. It would take longer to break them.

We don't know how much (if any) Philip was allowed to heal Max. Some healing has to have occurred, otherwise Max would have been riddled with flesh wounds etc. when Liz was reunited with him. Sure, they didn't really have many healers at hand to use, so it had to be Philip, but it would have been a good way to "teach Philip a lesson" too...

So I'm thinking Command knows (or at least suspects) Philip is part of the rebellion. He's basically punishing him by forcing him to see his son like that and to feel his son's pain.

Maybe he knows, but I'm not sure he wouldn't keep Philip behind lock and key if he did. Maybe Command is just punishing Philip because Philip broke some rules earlier too (not checking that Liz's mind was erased from the healing memory after the fire, for instance) and maybe also because his son is acting out. Collective punishment in a way.

I might be wrong but I think that the experience Liz went through was her finally submitting herself fully to the bond and its power.

Yes, that might actually be it.

Everyone's all for strengthening the bond and I imagine a "barrier" would allow that and still keep them safe from something they're not ready for yet. It's so heartwarming for Max to finally see that Liz *does* want children with him. It's one more block to help build him back up again and fully heal him.

I'm not sure Max is up to "experimenting" with Liz's body (which is how he would see it). But maybe he'll come around to this idea in the future. They can't keep doing the whole oh-my-god-we-forgot-protection thingy. However, would the bond - if it actually is trying to get them pregnant - really allow a "barrier" to work. Could they trust it?

You know I really loved this chapter. I'm not sure that it was any one thing but just overall I really loved it. Maybe it was how you touched on a bunch of different small things and yet maintained a beautiful flow throughout. Hmm...

Thank you

Still their playful behavior towards each other and the way they can so intimately tease each other and put each other on edge but *happily* on edge really came through in the midst of all that. The way they're becoming more and more relaxed around another from spending time together - and their deep connection has definitely helped in that regard. And I think that easy teasing of one another is so important. Max has never gotten to show that side of himself (fully) to anyone and Liz really needs the closeness him teasing her and laughing *with* her brings.

Yes

I have a feeling Philip is soon going to say he thinks they *are* ready though - at least enough to fight even if not fully healed and living happy lives. Max on the other hand, in his deep concern and protectiveness towards Liz, is probably going to go against his father. He's won the fights (that we've known about) up until now. I don't know how many more he can keep winning when it's so apparent they *are* getting better.

Probably...

Speaking of appearance and seeing their improvement. I get the feeling that the two of them haven't developed the connection fully. Like it's not fully there yet. So I'm wondering how they can finally solidify it. There was the (possible) first bond when they were children. Then the healing - then the night in Hondo. And this time Liz let go of her fear, etc. of the connection. So what happens now? How does it go deeper? I imagine it's helping *both* of them reach full strength. So Liz needs training on how to handle powers - as in should've started awhile ago - and Max needs to learn to harness that amount of power while also making sure he doesn't drain Liz (so he's not constantly worried about that).

You might be right on this: that the connection is not fully developed yet. The things they have gone through have worked to both strengthen and delay the development.

I'm curious how much time has passed since they've been there. It seems like two to three weeks since they re-opened the bond (and that took a couple of days). But I could be off. If it's too long that gives the others more time to prepare against attacks and search for Max and Liz. But if it's not long enough any chance of possibly recruiting more help for the rebellion side goes down (and recruiting more people may or may not be a good thing).

We're speaking in terms of weeks, not months. So they've been there longer than a couple of days, but it's not rolling into months.

The other thing I haven't mentioned is how easily Max and Liz connected as children. It just flew open upon great distress. Almost like they had been connected before but that connection was hidden until there was great emotional feelings coupled with touching. So had they been connected before that? And then that connection hidden?

Hmmm...

Of course if the first primary response to the unknown is deep fear then I'm not sure Liz is ready. At this point Michael is right to put his shield up. She can't control her energy and she's almost at a "shoot first, ask later" state.

Yes

And if he is loyal to whoever is in charge *instead* of his charge then he has to be annoyed right now at her accusations given that his entire world has been thrown on its head and yet he *is* still remaining loyal and guarding Max. Even in the middle of the night when other people are sleeping, he gets up when he hears Liz in the bathroom.

We don't really know that he got up in the middle of the night. All we know is that Liz reflected upon him looking like he had just got out of bed. He might have just as well just arrived from somewhere else and happen to walk straight into Liz. After all, Michael has that look about him that makes you want to say "he probably just got out of bed" a lot of the times anyway, right ?

Thank you thank you thank you for the feedback!!


Eve (begonia9508)

His father should have told him that a long time ago, because Max has to deal with the knowledge and it would be better if he could have some preparations before he kill someone!

Philip probably should have told him a long time ago. But it might have been dangerous to tell Max too early as well. The less that knew, the better...

Thank you for the feedback!


From EIGHTY-FIVE:

Gradually, the heat was chilled, the coolness melting into my body, healing whatever burns I might have managed to receive in that short time.

With the threat of him moving away from me removed, I loosened my grip around his waist and moved my hands up his arms to cradle his jaw. Our kiss softened, his body sagging in relief against me, making me stumble backwards slightly, before he put his arms around my shoulders and pressed me closer, deepening the kiss.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he mumbled weakly against my lips. "You could have killed yourself."

I pulled back, looked up into his eyes and gave him a guilty half-smile. "You know me; I'm reckless."

He deliberately shook his head, as if he couldn't quite believe my attitude towards my own well-being, bringing his hands up to wipe at the rain that continuously wet my cheeks. His eyes were sad and haunted as he leaned in and placed a lingering gentle kiss on my wet lips.

"I love you," he mumbled almost painfully, as he pulled back. "I love you so much."

I swallowed slowly and brushed my fingers through his hair. "I love you." His eyes gleamed with hesitancy - as if he couldn't quite believe my words - so I added, "We're stronger together. Remember? We balance each other out. Believe in that, Max." I momentarily bit the inside of my lip before adding, "Believe in us."

His eyes roamed my face silently. There were so many emotions in his eyes, so many conflicting feelings contained in his tense frame. After a couple of seconds with only the loud sound of pouring rain around us, he whispered, "We should get inside."

I looked at him closely, trying to judge his mental state but finding it impossible, before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. His breath was loud and warm against my ear as I agreed with a simple, "Okay."

____________________________________

EIGHTY-SIX

Our clothes were clinging to our bodies, our hair flattened to the back of our necks and foreheads, as I pushed through the front door. Getting us from the rain into the dry indoors.

I kicked the flip flops off my feet, placing my wet bare feet on the tiled floor of the hallway, and breathlessly brushed the wet hair back from my face. I could feel him moving around behind me. He was a quiet warmth caressing the insides of my personal space and I fought the need to wrap my arms around him and melt our drenched chests together. Call it instinct, or chalk it up to the jumbled thoughts and emotions slipping through the connection from him, but he was too distracted just now to accept my closeness. He was desperate to get the rest of the information from his father. Desperate in a hopeless hollow way.

I understood his need for distance, for space, because I reacted the same way when life overwhelmed me. I knew that he still needed me close, evident from him moving around me so closely, but I didn't want to push myself at him. Because, to be honest, I was part of the equation he was mulling over. His need to keep me away from the freakish - even if the freak happened to be him - overrode his need to be intimately close to me.

I swallowed back the hurt his low opinions about himself brought. The sadness that made my stomach twist painfully, while my heart slammed brutally with his pain against the inside of my ribcage.

Even if things had turned bad right after his energy blasts; expelling all that energy and finding an outlet for his anger and frustration had helped. But it hadn't removed the truth. The truth was too big, too confusing, to ignore with a couple of energy blasts.

He was bending down to untie his dirty sneakers as his mother came around the corner. At the sight of her flustered face and overall breathless appearance, I became aware of the smell of bacon surrounding us.

Her eyes widened and her lips parted in shock, before she frowned and admonished, "Look at you! What were you doing outside? It's pouring down!"

"We needed some air," I answered sheepishly, glancing over at Max. Max, who was still in his own world of conflicting thoughts. Max, who was unresponsive as he continued to methodically untie his shoes.

My lingering gaze turned concerned before I looked back at Diane to see her eyes having soaked up that same concern. She kept her eyes on the top of Max's dark head, as she lowered her voice and asked me, "What happened?"

"He's fine," I answered, my answer too quick and too hopeful.

Her eyebrows screwed tighter together and her voice held the tone of a worried mother demanding answers. "Max. What happened?"

I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, absently chewing on it, as I watched Max finish removing his shoes in silence, letting his mother wait for a reply. I knew that he wasn't doing it intentionally. His mind was too far away. He hadn't even noticed her asking.

Diane waited patiently, her face hardening with increasing worry with every second her question went unanswered.

"Max?" I implored quietly. He looked up at me, giving my heart a small squeeze of deep love at the fact that he had heard me through all the noise in his head.

His eyebrows pulled low as he noticed his mother standing in front of us. "Mom?" Slowly, he raised up to his full height, towering over both Diane and I.

"Did you not hear me?" Diane asked. Her voice had lost its chiding perplexity, overruled by confusion.

Max looked over at me in the search for answers, before he answered, "Um... Did you ask something?"

My mouth felt dry the more I looked at him. His shoulders were dropped forward, a defeated angle to his head, a blankness to his facial features, a confused emptiness to his usually expressive eyes. The wetness of the rain was weighing his clothes down, flattening and darkening his hair, painting a general impression of resignedness over his usually strong and empowering presence.

It would be impossible for a mother to not pick up on those same details, which was confirmed by her stepping forward and taking a hold of Max's chin with her fingers, angling his face up to hers for scrutiny.

"What did you father tell you?" she asked, sounding stronger now.

"I'll tell you later," Max replied, evenly but without the normal conviction to his voice.

He couldn't handle this. It was all becoming too much. He couldn't deal with her concern right now or her questions that he himself didn't feel like he could answer.

All of this was coming through the connection very clearly, making me gently place a hand on Diane's upper arm. "We just got some new information, that's all. Max needs some time to take it all in."

I felt Max watching me closely while Diane looked at me, standing next to her. She hesitated for a second, before letting her demanding hand drop away from her son's chin and released a loud sigh. "You are dripping on the floor." Her eyes flitted between Max and I, her conflicting look telling me that she was having trouble letting this go and acting like she couldn't see that her son was in a really bad place right now. "Go and change into some dry clothes. Breakfast's ready. You need to-"

Max's head snapped up to his mother. "No." I startled at his authoritative tone. "We need to talk to dad. He has more to tell-"

Diane's face turned hard. Stern enough to have me forget to take my next breath. Her voice was warningly slow as she interrupted. "Go and change. Then come back for breakfast."

"Mom-" Anger was seeping back into his voice, tightening his stance, "I don't have time for food-"

"Yes," her voice was equally defiant as she interrupted him again. "You do."

They were locked in some kind of staring match for a couple of seconds, both faces tight with resolve and the unwillingness to give in, before Max did. His resignation made his body slump and sigh with weariness. "Fine."

I reached out and grabbed his chilled hand, realizing that it was very uncommon for him to feel colder than me, and wrapped our hands together. He looked away from his mother to my face, stepping closer to me at my encouraging tug.

There were no more words exchanged as I felt Diane's eyes on our backs as I led Max by the hand down out of the hallway, past the common room, and down the corridor towards our room.

As we got closer to our room, I looked over my shoulder at him, confirming what I could already feel through our bond. His upper body was curved forward in tired defeat, his eyes fixed on the floor. As if he was making sure that he put every foot correctly in front of him. There was a chilling distance to his body and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.

I don't think he even realized he had been doing it. Maybe it was a defense mechanism on his part; to block his thoughts from mine when they became to overwhelming. When they touched upon a darkness he didn't want anyone else to experience. Not even his bonded. Especially not his bonded.

I swallowed slowly, the sound of rushing blood through my vessels loud in my ears, and traced the shadows of his pulled down face. He didn't even notice that I was scrutinizing him. Didn't even notice that we had almost come to a complete halt. I had never seen him so out of tune with his surroundings before.

Maybe I should view it as a good thing; that he trusted me enough to let his guard down around me. As if he, in some way, felt that I would be able to handle if something came at us out of the shadows. But that might just be an illusion on my part. Most likely he hadn't put any thought into closing himself off.

His hair was hanging down into his eyes and I traced his overgrown hairline to where he had tucked his hair back behind his ears.

I realized then that we couldn't just go and change and return back to a fully seated table. Not with Max like this. It would either make him revert further inside of himself or it would make him explode from everything he was still bottling up.

He reached an automatic stop as I turned to face him fully, looking up into his downturned face. Squeezing his hand with warmth, I said, "C'mon," causing his dim eyes to momentarily spark with his beautiful essence as his eyes connected with mine.

He blinked quickly twice, as if woken up from a dream, and followed the jerk of my head in the direction of the bathroom door further down the corridor, past our room.

There was a twitch in the corner of his right eye and his eyes momentarily fell to the hesitant version of an encouraging smile on my lips, before he read my mind and mumbled quietly, "I don't need a haircut."

I squeezed his hand again, almost trying to coax the warmth deeply inside of him to be squeezed out to the surface of his palm. He was so cold. I brought my free hand up to cradle his cheek, the water that had hitched onto the dark strands of his hair touching the tips of my fingers and chilling them.

He leaned his cheek into my touch, his eyes drifting closed, making my heart clench painfully at the sight of this strong man in front of me being so vulnerable that he wasn't even searching for something to root him down.

Except that I envisioned how his cheek looked brighter, filled with life, with the warmth of my palm pressed against it. A soft gasp got stuck in my throat as I saw the color of warm life spread out through the area where my palm connected with his skin, over his cheek and towards the side of his nose. I blinked. I wasn't imagining it. I couldn't be.

I struggled to find my voice, slowly wetting my lips as I stared at the effects of my touch on him, and whispered, "Humor me, okay? It's either letting me cut it now or letting me braid it later."

That elicited a twitch in the corner of his mouth and his eyes slowly opened, connecting with mine. "Mom won't be happy about a delay. She was pretty adamant about getting us to eat."

His voice was almost mischievous, the lightness of his mumble sending a sharp fire straight into my heart.

"I'll protect you from her," I answered back in a soft tease, but in all seriousness meaning every word. My reply made his eyes soften and warm as he squeezed my hand and placed his other hand in the indention of my waist, his long fingers sliding down the top of my bottom as he pulled me closer.

My hand dropped from his cheek, moving down his chest and around his back, as he pulled me towards him and pressed the side of his wet head against my throat. The pressing of our wet bodies against each other had the coldness of our soaked clothes mold uncomfortably against our skin, but that didn't matter.

All that mattered was that I could feel his heart beat against my chest, feel the strength of his hand against the small of my back, feel the increasing heat of his hand in mine and the calmness of his breath against my skin.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, trying to keep my voice strong for him. But it revealed every ounce of concern reverberating through me.

Two seconds passed before he replied, his fingers curling slowly and gently into the exposed skin at the small of my back, where my shirt had ridden up. "I don't know."

I pressed him closer, brushing my lips against the damp skin behind his ear. "None of this changes who you are." There was an increasing stiffness to his body as I continued, "Finding out that I was a gaea threw me off, but it didn't change who I was. Who I've always been. Because," I paused at the irony of it, "I've always been a gaea. I just didn't know."

His hand inched underneath the back of my sweater, pressing against the vertical line of my spine as he slowly moved it upwards.

That familiar heat of desire curled in my stomach and I bit back a moan as I got out with staggering words, "You being a parim doesn't change anything. You're still you. I'm still me."

He pulled back, his hand heating the skin between my shoulder blades, and his amazing eyes connected with mine. "Doesn't it freak you out? My grandfather and dad both alluded to you being the same. Also being a..." anger flashed in his eyes, bringing forward the smoldering golden nuance to the thin ring of his irises, "parim." He hated the word, the concept, the whole thing. That was easy to tell from the way he spit the word out as if he wanted nothing to do with it.

I shook my head slowly, swallowing my humorless snort. "I think I reached my maximum level of freak-out weeks ago."

He dropped his eyes, his hand losing its pressure against my back, as illogical guilt struck him. He might be blocking his thoughts to me, but his feelings were slipping through.

I returned my hand to his face, brushing my thumb slowly over his bottom lip, watching the top of his eyelids as he stubbornly refused to look at me.

"Hey," I coaxed gently. "You know what this whole theory of parims made me feel?"

He looked up at me, a darkness twitching the left corner of his mouth in a grimace, "As if you were going insane?" My thoughts flickered to the memory of me falling to the floor, desperately and in a mild panic begging for him to block his mind from mine.

"Initially, yes," I agreed. I brushed my fingers through his wet bangs and added reverently, "But then it started making sense."

He frowned and I could feel him starting to search through my mind for an explanation. Something that made me relieved. His inactivity at doing anything earlier had frightened me more than I had wanted to admit. For him to start looking for answers again, was a sign that he was coming back from whatever place he had just been.

Before he could sort out the answer for himself, I explained, "Why we are perfect together."

His eyes turned intense with burning feelings as he brought our gazes together.

I lightly brushed my fingers down his cheek, feeling the stubble of his two-day beard moving roughly against the softness of my pads. "Why I trusted you from the second I met you. When we were five. Why you could never hurt me. Why you've kept watch on me your whole life-"

Anger darkened his eyes as he interrupted, "I kept watch on you because I was told to-"

I pressed my index finger to his lip and silenced him with a shake of my head, "No. That's not why you did it, and you know it. How do you explain me searching you out, over and over again, even when I was supposedly afraid of you?"

His lips moved beneath my finger as he replied sourly, "Because you always have to know where your enemy is. You were being smart."

I frowned. "No." I moved my hand down the side of his throat, down to rest on top of his heart. "I wouldn't have trusted someone I was afraid of if there wasn't something there that told me that, in reality, there was nothing to fear." He pulled his eyebrows together in stubborn disapproval. "Hearing that we are the same - pure energy - made sense. Everyone always tries to fit in. To find some place where they feel accepted and have someone who understands them."

I slowly licked my lips and my voice broke with emotion as I whispered, "We're the same, Max."

The frown of his forehead smoothened out, being replaced by tentative wonderment.

I searched his eyes. "It doesn't matter that you have genes from a different planet. It doesn't matter that you're half-Antarian and I'm 100% human. Because deep inside - where it really matters - we're the same." I swallowed, falling into the depths of his emotional resistance to my words. My voice lowered intimately as I finished, "We're the same, Max."

His amber eyes were misting, and I felt his fearful hope burn into my heart.

I knew how different he had always felt. How lonely it had made him. How he never felt like he could fit in anywhere. He was half. Half of one world and half of another. When all he wanted was to find a place where he could belong.

A place with me.

But he had gotten stuck on that we were different. That I should be with someone who was like myself. Human. And it was tearing at him that he could never accomplish that. However much he practiced his powers, however much he studied, however much he wished for it, he would never be completely human.

Now I was slowly watching how it hit him. Instead of being labelled with yet another definition of 'freak' (being a parim), he was starting to see what I was seeing. How, if we were both parims, that phenomenon would unite us. Would remove his alienation to the world, to me. He would find a place of belonging.

He was slowly breaking apart, slow trembles moving through him. This time, because of happiness he was trying to contain, because he didn't want to hope. Not until he knew for sure. That I was also a parim.

Before he could disintegrate in front of me, exposed in the hallway, I slid my hand down his chest and gathered his hand in mine.

"Let's go and cut your hair," I whispered to him gently.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he nodded silently.


TBC...

[Morning Dreamgirl]

I think this chapter is beautiful.

FB later. I'm supposed to be sleeping...