These are fantastic! I've been reading the old thread as well...I think my housemates think I'm nuts the way I've been laughing...
I don't have anything to put here, I just have a question.
I'm writing a fanfic and I'd love to use some of these. Anyone mind? I'll give you full credit, of course.
Nicki
I have ADOS. Attention Defici...Ooh, Shiny!
"I always thought Australia was just like England, only with Vegemite instead of Marmite."
"Don't let any of the natives hear you say that. You'll have a riot on your hands."
~ Rose and the Doctor in LJC's fic 'Not a Busman's Holiday'
"Oh please!" Michael rolled his eyes and thumbing over toward Alex "What does Whitman here know about sex? I bet he's never been laid in his life."
"Hey!" yelled Isabel "I'll have you know not only does Alex know a lot about sex but he has a huge........"
That was all Isabel got out before an embarrassed Alex clamped his hand over his girlfreinds mouth and than proceded to drag Isabel out of the room.
A confused Tess turned around from where she sat in Kyle's lap. "Alex has a huge,what?"
Kyle wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and kissed her softly on the tip of her nose "I'll tell.....or better yet show you later when we're home alone."
A little while after the four girls had left to go shopping, their boyfriends were sitting around talking. And like it will with guys the talking got onto the discussion of sex and how much each of them was getting.
Now Max was feeling a little uncomfortable about this seeing how when Alex was talking about his sex life he was talking about Max's sister Isabel. And even Alex was uncomfortable. Seeing how Maria and Liz were like sisters to him, he wasn't to fond of hearing about Max and Michael's sex life.
In the end with Tess not being technically related to anyone only Kyle wasn't feeling uncomfortable so he thought he'd ham it up a little.
"You know fellows when you get as good as I am in the sex department you tend to learn a few things." Kyle suddenly blurted out to the other men.
"Oh is that right,Valenti?" Michael rolled his eyes "Well in that case oh wise one why don't you educate us with your oh so large intellect."
"It's not just my intellect that's large, Michael." smirked Kyle which caused Max and Alex to start laughing.
"Just get on with it!" shouted Michael.
"Ok for you uneducated lot let me give you a few facts on women and sex." smiled Kyle "Like did you guys know that in the end there are only four types of orgasms for women out there?"
Michael, Max and Alex could only shake their heads no at that question.
"It's true." nodded Kyle "You see for a woman you first have the positive orgasm. That's where she goes 'Oh Yes Oh Yes Oh Yes'. Than you have the negative orgasm where a woman goes 'Oh No Oh No Oh No'.Than you have the religious orgasm where the woman goes 'Oh God Oh God Oh God'.And last but not least for women there is the fake orgasm......." Now this was when Kyle got a big smile on his face as he got ready to deliver the punch line "......And that's when she goes 'Oh Michael,Oh Michael,Oh Michael!' "
As Max and Alex hit the floor in laughter Michael could only glare at Kyle and go "Ha,ha,ha"
Last edited by killjoy on Sat May 06, 2006 3:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
And last but not least for women there is the fake orgasm......." Now this was when Kyle got a big smile on his face as he got ready to deliver the punch line "......And that's when she goes "Oh Michael,Oh Michael,Oh Michael!"
OMG That is the funniest thing I have read in ages!
My sister and I both cracked up.
Love is not finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.Looking for a little magic?Practical Enchantment
