Roswell Fanatics

Title: Dogmatic
Author: mandydemoo
Disclaimer: No, I sadly own none of these people.
Rating: YTEEN

Summary: Right so this takes place at the beginning of season 2. But because they're too complicated, we're going to ignore the whole 'skins' thing. I always thought they were a bit lame anyhow. (OK I'm actually just not adept enough to put them in).

Author's Note: Well, this is my first ever fic, so it probably sucks. But what the hey, I figure, now that I have some major exams round the corner, this is the perfect opportunity. As a matter of fact, this is only the second time I've even posted on the page (even though I've been reading stuff for what, 2 years?) And let me tell you, it took me a hell long time to find that massive button on the top of the page that said 'new topic'.
Enough about me.

Comments would be appreciated I guess.

(this little bit is being added thanks to the helpful comments from drea!)

PROLOGUE.

It was the end of summer, but for once, I was glad. The last couple of months had been the worst, most agonising ones I had ever had to live through. No seriously, I’m not just being some angst-ridden teenaged guy here, trying to exaggerate his situation to evoke pity and maybe get a few girls. They were genuinely horrible. I mean, being tortured by some lunatic alien-hunting FBI agent was one thing. Being constantly chased around by some blonde pseudo-alien-soul-mate was pretty annoying too. But what really really sucked, and I mean sucked in the way that makes you want to hide in a hole in the floor under your bed for the rest of your life, was watching the girl of my dreams walk away from me, believing that I should actually be with said pseudo-alien-soul-mate. Tess was nice and all, but if it had been her shot on the floor of the Crashdown that day (and my other alien comrades hadn’t made me), I’m not entirely sure I would have saved her.

And just to kick me where it hurts just a little bit more, Liz (that would be ‘girl of my dreams’ to you) ran off to Florida for the rest of the summer, undoubtedly to escape me and all my deviant little plots to win her back. That my friend, really sucks ass.

Part 1.

Maria, Alex, Isabelle and I were sitting in the Crashdown as usual, talking and laughing and doing all our usual things. Actually that’s a load of rubbish. Nothing was normal right then. For one thing, Liz wasn’t there. That makes everything very un-normal in my normal books. However, seeing as she had not been there for quite a while, I guess it was normal after all. Anyway, Michael wasn’t there either, nor Tess. Oh, and no one was really laughing either. Oh. And. One more thing. We were watching our shape-shifting-alien guardian on TV posing as the lunatic alien-hunting FBI agent and ensuring that any threat from that direction was completely taken care of. I don’t know, is that normal to you?

Anyway, when that was all over, or rather Maria shooed everyone out of the break room so she could change, I hung around a bit.

“Girlfriend. Like, I know that we bonded over the summer, but I'm not quite ready to show you the bod just yet.” That was Maria, not me. But no, I wasn’t there for her ‘bod’ as she put it, I was there for a much higher purpose. I don’t really go for her type, not that I’m gay just that… ok I’ll just leave it as ONLY LIZ.

“No. I was just wondering if you'd heard from Liz yet.” I could swear, something in the air told me that Maria was hiding something, something to do with Liz. Given I was sorta asking her the same thing all summer, but today was different.

“ Not since you asked me an hour ago. No.” I swear to God, she wasn’t telling me something. I could feel it in my bones. Perhaps this was a new alien 6th sense? Or, like 11th sense but who’s counting right?

“I heard you on the phone with her.” Right. Did I forget to mention that? Guess I’m stuck with my plain old 10 alien senses.

“Max, little advice. The girl goes off to some aunt in Florida for the entire summer and barely says good-bye to you. In layman's terms, she blew you off big time. I mean, and look at you. Look, you're like a groveling dog.” She started to whine. In a really annoying way. “ Have you heard from Liz today? Did Liz call?” Wait. That was supposed to be me? I don’t whine! I am perfectly manly in my mannerism thank you very much. “No. That's no good. Look, you've gotta play it cool, all right? Let her come to you.” Now that hurt bad, implying that I am wimpy and uncool (Even if it might be a teeny bit true). So naturally I pointed out that she had not exactly been playing it cool with Michael either.

I don’t think she really appreciated that.
~

Nothing in Roswell ever just stays sane. Right after our little TV-watching session, this Grant-the-geologist guy digs up what is potentially the body of the real Agent Pierce. (Come on, you can figure out who he is. The FBI agent who tortured me mercilessly like I was some 3-headed green thing instead of just some frightened alien-hybrid kid who just wanted to make sure his girlfriend was ok? Yeaaa. Him.) Talk about a disaster. When Isabelle and I went to tell Michael and Tess about it, they were blowing up rocks. No seriously. Michael has always had absolutely, well almost, no control over his powers, but since Tess had been here, she’d been helping him, and he’d been improving. A lot. Less blowing up of TVs and other electrical appliances when his team lost the Hockey game. More just plain old rocks blowing up. Yep. Plenty improved.
As usual, I could just feel Michael getting ready to go out and do something rash that would get us all in the White Room or at the very least jail, despite the fact that it was highly probable that it wasn’t even Pierce. And even if it was there was nothing pointing them towards us. He just can’t accept the fact that Valenti is on our side and can take care of this better than we could.

I was trying to avoid getting into the same argument with Isabelle the next day, when I saw this flash of brown hair that was too glossy and perfect to be just some random inconsequential stranger.

Liz.

I headed for her. What else would I do?

“Hi...Max.”

“Hi. So...so when did you get back?”

“A couple of days ago...actually.” I knew something was up with Maria! That liar!

“Well, that's odd. Maria said you were still away.”

“Yeah, I know she did. Um, you know, I just...I wanted to get settled a little bit before...” Ah. She was avoiding me. Yea. I could get that. I mean she did go through a hell of a lot because of last year. I can see why she’d want to get away. I want to get away all the time.

“Yeah. Yeah. I...I understand. Listen, Liz, I...I know how strange everything got before you left. But I think it's ok. No aliens have attacked. Nasedo is putting an end to the special unit as we speak. I think all of this could finally be over.” Maybe if things are normal we can be normal too. But I didn’t say that. That would just make this awkward situation a little bit more awkward.

“ Oh, I really hope that's true...for all of you.” Huh. She left herself out of that. There is no way she could really truly believe that Tess and I were…

“And I just want you to know about the whole Tess situation...”

“Oh, Max. You don't...you don't have to.” Yea. I did.

“It's just that it's definitely over. I don't have feelings for her. I've told her that...and she understands. I know it's probably irrelevant at this point, but...just for the record.” Tess isn’t really that bad a person you know. I’ve talked to her over the summer, and even though it gets a little weird sometime, with her expecting something there that I just can’t give, she gets it. She knows I wouldn’t give Liz up for the world.

~

Ok, so as we should have guessed, they were Pierce’s bones after all. And we were incriminated after all. Michael was arrested. Damn that alien radiology thing. Also, damn those fingerprints. But we fixed it. We always do.

“How have you and Tess been getting along?” Nasedo asked me one night.

“Well, I haven't performed any mating rituals if that's what you're asking.” And we never will.

“You heard your destiny. You heard it with your own ears.” He knew as well as Tess did that it wasn’t going to happen.

“I just want to get Michael out of jail and go back to my life. I'm not a king and we are not at war.” I’m just a guy stuck in a mess that I made in my former life, and trying to keep safe in the one I have now.

“You're the boss. I would just be careful not to confuse what you want to be true with what really is true.”

Tess and I, well, we worked together perfectly so there was nothing left that could come back and bite us in the ass. But that still didn’t mean I’d stop loving Liz.

It was all over, everything was taken care of. Michael was out of jail and we were all celebrating. Minus Liz, thanks to her new job. But I saw her on my way out, and for a moment there, when her arm brushed against me, I thought something was there. Apparently, I thought wrong, seeing as she couldn’t even pretend things were back to normal for a hypothetical question. Maybe she had had some summer fling out in Florida and fallen in love and was dying to go back to him. Or maybe she figured out that she really did hate all the alien mumbo jumbo and wanted out.

There had to be a reason why she was just shutting me out when we used to be able to talk about practically anything.

Well, this is quite a long part. Thanks to lizzy88, jbangelo,dreamer19, drea and roswellover for all your encouragement, i really appreciate that. you guys are the sweetest ppl ever!

OOh and dig this little bit:

Title: Dogmatic

Author: Madydemoo

Disclaimer: If i owned any of these characters, i'd probably be richer and much more fulfilled. Sadly I'm not so I guess I don't.

(Kudos to me for stealing that format off everyone else's stuff!)

Part 2

After my little tête-à-tête with Liz, and yes, I did consider another supreme rejection to be counted as a romantic meeting, I was walking home deep in thought. Important Alien-King business on my mind you know. Was the FBI after us? Should I have been planning our quick getaway? Had anyone picked up on the signal the orb had sent out? Would Liz find me devilishly irresistible if I got a bike like Michael?

“ Don’t touch me!” A familiar shrill voice pierced through my daydream of me on a Harley, speeding down the highway with Liz clutching at my waist behind me.

“ I said let go! I am your Queen, you can’t grab me like that!” It was definitely Tess’s voice I was hearing, and it sounded like she needed help. I stepped cautiously nearer the playground, but staying within the shadows so I could assess the situation without being seen. Only Michael would rush in erratically and get blasted to smithereens by 10 evil-aliens.

There was Tess, standing under the street light, her wrist gripped fiercely by Ed Harding- Nasedo’s current form apparently.

“I have been slaving away for two months among moronic humans to ensure the security of the royal heir and I come back to find that you have been sitting on your laurels this entire time? That there is nothing growing in that useless human womb of yours? Tessa, you disappoint me.”

Well. This was interesting.

“It’s not my fault!” she whined. “He just won’t stop moping about that stupid human girl… I don’t know why, she’s much uglier than me, and I gave him plenty of opportunities…”

Tess? Pregnant with my baby? That was seriously not a thought I was inclined to entertain. And what did she mean, Liz was uglier than her? Only if you go for the blonde, trampy look, like Kyle did. Personally, I always found that gentlemen preferred brunettes. Or I did anyway.

I heard Nasedo sigh in what distinctly sounded like exasperation. Was it possible that he too felt Tess was a tad on the annoying side tonight?

“Did you at least translate the book, in your last two months that were unencumbered by such adolescent trivialities as school?” Tess squirmed sheepishly, still victim to the iron claw.

“Well… No… Not exactly… Look I had a lot of things to do ok, with getting Max to at least trust me and trying to make Michael remotely useful as an army commander! Believe me, I had my work cut out for me…” seeing Nasedo’s glare she hastily continued “But I did think up a way of getting it done.”

“Well?”

“I’m gonna send him,” she nodded to the car parked on the curb about 3 trees away from me, “to some big university where they have a mega-computer that specializes in ancient-language translations…” Her words woke me up from my immobility- I had to go see who was in the car. Seeing Nasedo fully occupied with Tess and her ‘plan’, I crept over to the car.

There, sitting in the back seat with a blank look on his face, was Alex.

“Alex!” I hissed. “Alex!”

His head jerked back and he blinked a couple of times before looking at me with this completely dazed expression, like those juvenile delinquents in movies who are permanently stoned.

“Oh hey Max, what are you doing here?”

“Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing!”

“You know,” he said to me in a low conspiratorial voice, grinning at me in that same conspiratorial way “I’m waiting for your sister… she said she’d meet me here.” Huh. I knew for a fact that Isabelle was busy with some other guy tonight, and that she wanted to cool things off with Alex anyway. Raised voices by the swing sets gave me a little hint at what was happening to Alex, before they died away to their faint bickering.

“Right… about that…Um. Isabelle sent me to tell you that she was really sorry but she had to go help someone do something, so she can’t meet you.” It wasn’t the most solid excuse, but hey, I was working under pressure here.

“Oh.” He looked a little disappointed.

“ Yea, sorry. But look could you do me a favour?”

“Sure Max, what do you want? Quart of blood, cup of piss?” I raised my eyebrows. “Sorry…joke.”

“Actually, I was sorta hoping maybe you could go to Liz’s and keep her company tonight.” Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows. Actually, my inner eyebrows were way up there at cloud level, but I needed him somewhere where he’d be safe, and if he was keeping watch over Liz at the same time, that would be great. “You know, maybe get Maria, have one of your three musketeers’ sleepovers?” This sounded way lame “Look, Liz was looking a little down tonight, and she won’t let me in ten metres of her, so I was hoping you’d comfort her instead? Make her laugh?” That sounded plausible enough, and totally deterred him from any suggestions that he could have his geeky-way with my should-be girlfriend, right?

Alex gave me a weird-but-appraising look. “Sure, sure…I’ll go now.” It came to my attention that the baby-planning talk seemed to be near closing. Not good.

“So er bye Alex, you’d better get on your way now,” I said, trying to hurry him along, practically dragging him out of the truck.

Definitely scored a weird look there, “ Ok Max… seeya… say hi to Isabelle.”

“Will do, bye.” Finally, he was gone.

“Max! What are you doing here?” I whirled around and found Tess standing behind me, hands on her hips. Best course of action seemed to be to feign ignorance. I know nothing!

“TESS! Hey, nothing, really, nothing at all, just came to er…get a tree baby! Er-seed-er-sapling!” Oh. Wonderful. That didn’t sound suspicious at all, good on you Max.

“In a playground? Max,” she said, advancing slowly, a completely predatorial look on her face, I swear to God she is like the living incarnate of all freaky alien-flicks around. It helped that her partner in crime stepped out of the shadows with a look of pure evil on his face. “You didn’t happen to hear any of our little er-discussion there, did you Max?”

They had me completely backed up against the car door.

“Hear what? Me? No!” Nervous laughter. Heh-heh-he. Then, the one huge tell-tale give-away sign. I gulped.

Gulp.

Her eyes narrowed, Nasedo smirked. I ducked. It was the only way out. I barreled into her, and ran for the other side of the park, where ever was closest to civilization and safety would be good.

“Blast him now, don’t let him get away! You can mindwarp him into forgetting later,” I heard Nasedo shout. “Just get him!”

And then, true to form, I, Max Evans, tripped on a tree root and tumbled to the ground. They were on me in seconds, and from my position on the ground, I could see that Tess was in fact extremely mobile despite the killer heels. Wonderful.

There were blasts of sizzling green energy hitting the grass all around me, and somehow I managed to dodge the most potent one. I spotted the dusty hill on the end of the park that led to the road. If I could just get down there, I could be safe.

A blast hit me on the shoulder, and with all the strength I had I reached out and grabbed onto the nearest leg, sending out as much energy as I could, despite the attack my torso was suffering. It seemed to work, as Nasedo screamed in agony, and we both flashed white. Still gripping, I rolled towards the slope and felt a huge rip as he howled in pain.

Battered and bruised on the side of the road, I released the lump of charred flesh that was still in my hand. My eyelids were heavy but I kept telling myself I had to move. Not that that made a difference, I was still there, lying on the same piece of dirt behind a bush, same rock jabbing into my tender stomach. As I blacked out, I heard Tess’s voice.

“I don’t see him.”

And then I was gone.

This part is disgustingly short but i had it written before anything else. It takes everything in a new direction. you might hate it but that's ok i forgive you. ver narrative also.
BTW I'm missing the re-run of Heat Wave to post this but dont worry, i have the dvd

thanks to: dreamer19, natz and drea for your speedy replies. glad to see everyone hates tess. bitch.haha.

Title: Dogmatic

Author: Still me..

Disclaimer: I still dont own anything, although my town planning skills were totally mine.

Do i have to do this at every part?


Part 3



The first thing I noticed when I came to was how friggin’ bright it was, and how the light was making the acute pain in the back of my head, wait my cheek, left shin, elbow-everywhere- worse. Talk about a hangover. Not that this was one, or that I’d even know, but I’d bet my car that this wasn’t far off. And if I was wrong, well, my car wasn’t worth much anyhow.

Finally opening my eyes, I realised that I still lying behind the bush with a little snoopy-shaped rock jabbing into me. Same as last night. Last night?

Tess! That b*tch! Was Liz safe? And Alex, did he get out ok? Had anyone noticed I was missing yet, were they worried? Were my parents at this moment calling the Sheriff to report me missing, were Isabelle and Michael combing the place looking for me? Why wasn’t I dead? Was I dead? Was Liz dead? I had to get to a phone. I had to get to Liz.

I pushed myself up on to my feet and started to run up the slope- fastest way home. But for some reason I just couldn’t stay up. As I stumbled back to the ground I noted how everything looked so tall and looming when I felt like my head was about to explode… and black and white. Odd.

All this thinking and tripping was going to blow my head into a million pieces, just like those bubble-headed aliens in the cheesy old sci-fi movies. Funny enough, that was also what another certain alien had tried to do to me just the night before. Guess it wasn’t just a stigma after all. Although I didn’t see what use I’d be to Nasedo with no head… (heh double meaning there… was this an inappropriate time to be making pervy jokes?) I suppose he could have just extracted my sperm to impregnate Tess, but-

What the hell is wrong with me? I sound like Maria in one of her cedar oil-deprived moments. When (If?) I got home, I had to stop hanging out with her. Next thing you know, I’d be wearing knee-high suede boots and calling Michael ‘Chica’. That, is a shudder worthy thought.

Evidently, everything running through my head was crazy, and obviously making me so dizzy I couldn’t even stand. Fine. I’ll crawl. So basically that’s what I did, I dragged myself along the abandoned highway-cursing myself for not remembering the night before that that was what the hill led to- on all fours with my eyes practically completely closed against the sun until I finally came across a tire with some rain water collected in it. Under normal circumstances, I would have gone right on past that old tire that was probably breeding enough mosquitoes to populate a small planet. However, desperate times called for desperate measures, and at that moment, even some little larvae-type creatures couldn’t keep me away.

I dipped my head in, doggie-style. God, that felt so good, the cool water on my face, in my hair, down my parched throat. Gasping as I emerged, I shook my head and felt great satisfaction in all the little water droplets that splattered on the sand around me. Then I glanced back in the tire-

What the f*ck? What was that?

I looked around me, shocked. Nothing. So I looked back in the tire. There it was, staring me in the face. Sudden understanding dawned on me.

No f*cking way in hell.

This was impossible.

Or was it?

One last long hard look confirmed it. Long hair all over my face, pink tongue hanging out my mouth as I panted. Undiscriminating behavior when seeking drinking water. Paws.

I was a dog.

Well, i guess this is what one would call not having a life, being able to post 3 times in 24 hours despite the fact that it's a saturday. i also went out with my mother. look at me go, little miss popularity. haha.

Drea- you will be murdered in your sleep because you used one of my lines in your comment! I was like oh shit! hahah. but i'll leave it in anyway. great minds and all that. still, thanks for all your support.

Lizzie88- thanks to you too! but i got the feeling you are not so keen on the dog thing. i just thought it would be fun, but there is an explanation behind it, or will be.

Surfgirl02- haha you called me cool! or at least, my writing...Sorry, im being narcissistic. ditto with the thanks stuff!

Jbangelo- thanks for clearing that up for me, i was really getting sick of typing those 3 lines. guess i'm really lazy. glad you like this!

Dreamer19 and Roswelluver- Thanks for all your support!

y'all mean so much to me. im touched sniff sniff. hahahhaha. moving on!

Part 4


I had lost all my dignity and whatever semblance of manly pride that was lurking around inside of me.

I wasn’t just a dog, oh no, that would be too easy.

I was a white. Fluffy. Terrier.

As in those little dogs that people like Sarah Michelle Geller and Christina Aguilara carry around. Or close to it. Seriously. I could have handled a retriever or even a bulldog. But a terrier? You HAVE to be kidding me.

This was ridiculous. It was like some Disney movie gone wrong- even in Disney the 12 year old kids get to be big manly dogs! Plus, didn’t anyone ever tell the fates that I was already taken in the whole weird and mysterious category? I was already an alien, you couldn’t make me a dog too!

Limping down the old highway, I felt like I was going to die. Not one car passed me either, which I guess is a good thing since I was standing in the middle of the lane, and although I felt like it, I didn’t want to become actual roadkill. After an eternity of walking, I finally rounded the corner to my street. I saw Michael pull up in front of my house and Isabelle flung the door open, rushing out.

“Michael, Max didn’t come home last night, and I tried his cell and he wouldn’t pick up, and Liz said she hadn’t seen him…”

“He wasn’t at my place either…” Isabelle bit her lip “ But don’t worry Is, he probably just fell asleep somewhere mooning over Liz. Like in the back alley of the Crashdown. Look, we’ll go there now and check.” Making the last few steps towards them, I collapsed on the path.

“Michael, Isabelle, it’s me…Max.” Isabelle turned to me and wrinkled her grey nose at me in distaste.

“Oh my God Michael, look.”

“He looks beat up pretty bad…” Michael knelt down in front of me and reached out his hand, but Isabelle snatched it away.

“Don’t touch it! It might have rabies or scabies or who knows what other diseases! It’s a stray Michael, you don’t know where it’s been!” No I don’t! No I’m not! I’m your brother! Hello?!

“We were strays too Isabelle,” Michael replied, giving her a withering look. “The Evans took you guys in. And look at him, he could die!”

Her faced softened a bit. “Well… fine… but at least let me get a blanket or something, don’t use your bare hands.” She went back in the house.

“Michael… it’s Max… you’ve got to get Tess, she and Nasedo are doing something…” I wheezed.

“Yea boy, it’s gotta hurt like a bitch. But don’t worry, we’ll take you to the Crashdown and look for Max, and call the vet from there.” He was totally missing the point. Great. It looked like I didn’t speak people or something, another thing that never happens in the movies. Or not usually. Talk about dramatic irony, this whole thing was just dripping with it.

Isabelle finally came out with an old blanket and handed it to Michael, who picked me up, all 20 pounds of me, and lay me gently on his lap in the jeep. He smelt like leather, motor oil, a tinge of sweat and had a hint of onion there too… and maybe a bit of pepperoni pizza. Amazing. I’d never noticed. Isabelle smelt like some flowery stuff, hair spray, washing detergent and… bacon? I could have sworn she gave up on that after she over heard Pam Troy calling her fat in the locker room.

You know, if I had just taken the jeep last night, all of this could have been avoided, was my main thought as I watched the buildings flash past. But no, I decided to walk, seeing as it was such a nice end-of-summer night and Liz was back and the world was good. But obviously that wasn’t right either because I wouldn’t call two evil aliens sending large balls of green electricity at me good.

We pulled into the back alley of the café, but, as I could have told them, I was not lying amongst the garbage bags fast asleep.

“Open the back door for me Is, I’ll leave this guy with Liz and then we’ll go look for Max ok?” She nodded, holding the door open. Had I had the energy and human voice, I would have told them it would be a fruitless search. However, having neither, I just rested my tiny head on Michael’s arm and closed my eyes. The Crashdown was so familiar, the sound of plates being stacked, cutlery jingling, the front bell jingling, feet squeaking on the wooden floor, the sizzling of food as it hit the grill. The smell of beef frying, onions frying, fries frying… almost any savory food product frying. And then there was that smell that I’d never in my whole life forget, a mix of strawberries, lavender, honey and something just unmistakably Liz.

“Oh my God, Michael, what happened to it?” Her voice resounded with concern and even in my half-dead state I felt a little smug that she still cared. Given, she didn’t know it was me, but still. That fact is unimportant.

“Not sure, found it outside their house. Could you call the vet?”

“Sure.”

“Liz, have you seen Max this morning, he didn’t come home last night and I’m really worried.” That was Isabelle. I tried to tell her it was me again but I’m pretty sure all they heard was a whine. I bet I sounded really high and squeaky, why not right? The experience could hardly be anymore emasculating.

“Sorry Isabelle, not since he left last night…but don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine. Just put him in this crate Michael.” Crate?! What?! I opened my eyes a slit to see what on Earth was going on to find that Liz had padded a plastic crate with a bunch of old towels, and that I was actually behind the counter, not in the break room. This wasn’t so bad. “The vet is on his way, and I can watch him from here, why don’t you guys go-” The bell jingled, interrupting her.

“Max, thank God, I was so worried.” I heard Isabelle say in relief as her shoes clicked past me quickly. Wait a second-

I limped out from behind the counter only to see me. Huh. Followed shortly by Tess, who by the way, smells FOUL.

“Where were you Max, why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“What? Oh. Sorry Isabelle, I er, was at Tess’s and fell asleep I guess. My phone…ran out of batteries. Sorry.” She had him wrapped in a tight hug and he was awkwardly patting her back.

“As long as you’re alright…” There was a gleam in his-my eyes (?) as he-I surveyed the place. Wait a second, I saw what was going on here! That was Nasedo, he smelled distinctly not-of-this-Earth. I growled. Grrr. He and Tess both looked down, seeing me for the first time. Nasedo raised an eyebrow. My eyebrow. B*stard.

“What’s that?”

“It’s called a dog Maxwell, perhaps you’ve never seen one before in all your 50 years on this Earth.”

“I didn’t know Liz had a dog!” Tess exclaimed loudly to cover up Michael’s little reference to our ‘foreign’ status.

“She doesn’t, we found it this morning and she volunteered to look after it while we went driving around looking for Maxwell over here. But now that we’ve found you, I guess we can call off the search parties.” ‘I’ apparently totally ignored the comment.

“You want to keep the dog?”

“Yes Maxwell, I’m going to keep the dog.”

“You can’t keep the dog Michael.”

“You know he’s right Michael, you’re not the least bit responsible… God, he’d get lost among the week-old pizza boxes at your place.” Isabelle said reluctantly. I had gone back to my crate, standing was too tiring.

“Well I’m not throwing him in the pound! They’re like an extreme version of the social services with executions for the kids that never get adopted.”

“Max, maybe we could…”

“No! You-we are the Royal four, we shouldn’t get attached to lower beings!” he hissed. What? Was that what it was like on Antar? Obviously the place was really discriminatory. A whole planet of Hitlers. No wonder we were all killed.

“Max!” Tess exclaimed, and I could see her discretely pinching his back. My back. Why was her arm there? Everyone knew that wasn’t how it worked. No way would Tess ever have her arm around me, or at least with me allowing it. These two were going to get found out in no time, no thanks to that little slip up there on Nasedo’s part. That was obviously what he thought about humans too. Liz. Maria. Alex. All lower beings, not worth our time. They eat dogs in China, I wondered if they ate humans on Antar...

“I mean… come one guys, we can’t drag anyone else into it, even if it’s just a dog. It wouldn’t be fair.” He said, shrugging helplessly. I could just about see Isabelle’s face, and she had obviously bought it. Damn!

“So what Maxwell, should I just throw it back out there to die? Maybe the Evans should have done that to you too huh?”

“Er you know what guys?” Liz cut in. “He could just stay here. I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind. It’s probably not a good idea to move him too much as he is anyway.” That was Liz for you, always saving the day, and in this case, us from a potentially explosive fight.

“Fine with me, is that alright with you, Your Royal Pissiness?”

“Fine.” I settled down into my towels. Guess I wasn’t going anywhere…

hey guys...
well this is part 5, i think it's long but i might be mistaken. it s not very good because i havent been feeling very witty lately-- i think wit comes with PMS and im over that so its gone now also, there are too many people walking around this one for me to concentrate on. sorry!

but anyhoo:

thanks for all your feed back and support!!!

g7silvers: lots of questions there. how he turned into a dog seems to be bothering everyone, there is a logical explanation dont worry. i dont think anyone expects max to be replaced by nasedo, so naturally it s not the 1st conclusion they jump to when he s acting weird.

neck: actually they dont know. nasedo just doesnt like lower beings, but in this part he's doing a little more interaction on the liz side.

foreverdreamer15: nasedo and tess have no clue where max is.

lizzie88: glad i have your approval

roswelluver: yes things would be much easier if nasedo and tess just dropped dead....

dreamer19: plenty o trouble

jbangelo: your quetion is answered here! promise!

Drea: You're right as always and so quick with the replies...

Natz: I kind of like max as a dog haha.



Part 5.


“Well, he should be fine… just give him all the medication like I told you to, and come see me in my office in a week for a check up…we can give him all his jabs then…”

“Ok, sure, thanks Doctor Peters… I know you don’t usually make house calls but I wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea to move him like this…”

“You were probably right. Bye Liz, thanks for the pie!”

“Bye!” I woke up and looked around groggily. What the hell? Why was everything black and white? Why did everything smell so…Liz-like? And why oh why oh why was there a large white funnel around my head? That’s when everything came back to me. Today was seriously not my day…

Then again, looking around, I found that I was somewhere that I hadn’t been for a good long time. The Holy Place. My Mecca. Liz’s room. And, at that very moment, she was shirtless, her grey uniform around her waist as she pulled on a grey tank top. I guessed that my day was starting to get a whoolle lot better…

I must have made some sort of noise when her skirt came off, ‘cause she looked over to me as she pulled on her jeans.

“Hey puppy-dog,” she cooed, coming over to me and patting my head. “Finally awake huh? Rough day? Yea me too.” She was scratching behind my ears, a gesture I had never thought could feel so good. Yup, things were definitely starting to look up for me.

But I deserved this right? Just a few moments to relax. It’s not like I could do anything about everything else that was going on in this state. Then again, for all I knew, I could be stuck in this handbag of a body for the rest of my life, so I’d just have to adapt. But at that very moment, I was injured, so the best I could do was lie here and have my head stroked by the girl of my dreams. Was I dozing off again? Being the new me sure involved a whole lot of sleeping. I wasn’t sure whether that was due to the dog status or the victim-of-an-alien-attack status. Whatever it was, I had no intention of resisting its pull at the current minute.

I caught sight of the newspaper laid out in front of me before my eyes shut again. The newspaper was the same colour as it always had been, grey, and it smelt the same too, if a little more intense. The smell of ink, recycled paper, the smell of damp that never went away no matter how dry the newspaper was… I wondered what it was for, just lying there on the floor… for me to read? I rejected the idea that it was for me to read- I could just hear Michael saying “Don’t be an idiot Maxwell, she thinks you’re a dog.” I don’t know why I could hear Michael, but he made sense. And Liz was very practical like that, although perhaps she had a little too much faith in the possibility that I was house trained- I was a stray after all, she knew nothing about me. Still, it was a sensible thing to do, leaving newspaper for me to pee on.

But… If I did do anything on the paper then she would have to be the one to clear it up, hypothetically speaking. I had two problems with that, number one that I didn’t want to give her any trouble, and number two, that it would make things a little weird for us, if I ever got back to normal, knowing that she had poop-a-scooped for me. I guessed that I would have to handle my own walks then, once I was able to walk again.

When I could walk I was going to take on that stupid Nasedo and kick his ass. The guy was meant to be my protector, not encouraging sperm collections off me! Was there even a purpose to the baby plan? Maybe he ate hybrid babies. I hope Liz saw through him. I hoped they all saw through him. Come on, the guy was a total control freak already, he was in no way like me.

I woke up to the strong smell of alcohol, or something similar. Liz wasn’t next to me anymore, she was on her bed, painting her toenails some shade of grey. No longer feeling sleepy, I decided it was time to let Liz know who I was. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt that much standing up, and I was barely limping anymore when I walked over to her. I couldn’t quite jump on the bed though, something to do with the potent combination of a busted hind leg and extremely short limbs.

“Hello puppy! Aren’t you sweet! Yes you are!” She very delicately pulled me onto the bed next to her. Time to get down to business. I scanned the room for something that would tell her that it was me, Max, trapped in a dog’s body. Somehow, someone had failed to leave that written on a piece of paper on the floor within my easy reach, so I had to look for a more subtle sign. Something next to her caught my eye. Perfect. I snatched the sesame street toy off her pillow and shook it at her frantically.

“You wanna play puppy?” Yes I wanted to play. I wanted to play guess what happened to your rightful boyfriend! She looked up after twisting the cap on the bottle. “No! Bad puppy! God I have to get you a name… No! Not that! Drop that!” She threw some other toy at me, but I ignored it.

“Come on puppy, don’t take that, it’s kinda special to me… No!” This obviously wasn’t working. Still, it was nice to know she didn’t want a dog playing with the little plush Elmo toy I gave her. I still had a place in her heart.

After trying to dodge her as she chased me around the room trying to get the toy back, I decided to go for a different approach, seeing as she wasn’t getting this one. I dropped the toy and went for the photos.

“NO!” she yelled, lunging in front of me. “No!” She wagged a finger a me, the universal sign for ‘bad dog or child’. This was really getting me no where. I went back for the Elmo. She sighed, resigned.

“Fine. You can keep it. You’re probably right anyway, he has a whole other destiny, I should move on.” What? I hadn’t said that! Yet again, people were completely missing my point! I AM MAX! GIVER OF THE TOY! I had said absolutely nothing about giving up on me! But at least if she gave up on me, Nasedo might not have any reason to go after her. Tess either. She’d be safer this way. Yet again, all she heard was a whine.

~

“So he’s Michael’s dog?” I saw Liz re-enter the room, followed closely by Maria, both flopping onto Liz’s bed. Guilt flashed through me as I realized that I hadn’t even notice her leave to answer the door- I heard the door bell ring, saw Liz throw the chew-toy, got the chew-toy, chewed the chew-toy and then suddenly she was coming back in? Curse you and all your powers of canine distraction, Squeaky Rubber Bone! It really was horrible to think that one day Liz could fall victim to one of Tess’s ploys just because I was so enchanted with some fifty-cent, noise-making chew-toy.

“Well, I’m not really sure… I mean he found him and all, and wanted to keep him, but Max was so completely against the whole idea, I mean you should have seen the two of them, they almost got into a fight- and not just some normal fistfight or something, but a really Czechoslovakian one… over a dog. I mean, they’re supposed to be a unit right? Shouldn’t that mean that they like, don’t fight or something? I don’t know, things are really getting out of hand.”

“Sounds like he’s your dog then Chica, if King Max refuses to let Michael have him… so I guess that means Michael will be looking in on him a lot huh?” I could tell Maria was trying to be casual as she said that, pretending it was just a random comment as she played tug-of-war with me and the rubber bone. However, I knew there was more to it. Apparently so did Liz.

“I guess so… you can stick around and find out if you want to you know ‘Ria…” Liz said cautiously.

“What? No way, like I care what that loser does? I’m so over him and all that ‘not wanting to get attached’ bull. Whatever, I don’t need that. So, you got a name for this doggie yet?” Hah. Obviously trying to change the subject. My new ‘girlfriend’ status made me privy to plenty of obsessing over Michael moments, and there was no way that she had just ‘gotten over’ that in the last 2 days.

“I had been thinking about Pavalov, you know with the dogs and stuff-“

“You can’t name a dog after a scientist!”

“I know,” Liz said with a resigned sigh. Actually, I sort of like Pavalov… “So I was thinking of Elmo instead, because he keeps going after that Elmo toy Max bought me last year.” ELMO?! Please be kidding me. I thought it couldn’t get any more gay than being a terrier but I was SO wrong this was much much worse.

“Elmo?” Maria wrinkled her nose. “I guess it could work. Beats Snowy, which was all I could come up with on the spot… get the bone Elmo! Bite Michael Elmo! Yea ok I can see that working.” No no no no. This was not happening. Max! Name me Max! Come on Maria!

“I take the barks to mean yes, huh boy, aren’t you sweet, yes you are!” Now Maria was scratching my ears… aaah… almost made up for the Elmo thing. Almost.

The girls went on to talk about more girl stuff. Mostly Maria’s gossip, like how Paulie and Pam Troy were seen making out somewhere or other and someone or other else was super pissed and they got in a bitch fight and bla. It wasn’t terribly interesting stuff, so I just sat there and enjoyed seeing Liz so laid back and almost happy- yep there still was that lingering seriousness behind all the laughing that she could never seem to shake.

“You know what?” Maria said, quite out of the blue. They had sort of reached a lull in the conversation where neither was talking, just doing their own things. “You should name him Max.” YES! Thank you Maria, you are a genius!

“Max! ‘Ria! I can’t call him Max!”

“Why not?” Exactly. Why not? I was Max! “I can totally see him as a Max- he looks at you just like him, full of devotion and all.”

“Maria! No! There’s no way!” Liz was half laughing and half outraged, shaking her head.

“But Max is totally a dog name! You could pretend it has nothing to do with him, I mean how narcissistic would he be to just associate the name with himself?” Max was not a total dog name! Ok it was but… and I was not a total narcissist, what else would you associate the name with if you were me? “Come on Liz, it would be hysterical. I was just telling him the other day that he was like a lost puppy without you...”

“Yea like anyone would believe that me naming my dog after my ex had nothing to do with him… he’d know ‘Ria. And besides, he’s totally over me…” a sort of sad smile appeared on her face. “I saw him today with Tess, and he had her arm around her and they were totally couply, which is good, ‘cause that’s how things are meant to be right? He’s accepted his destiny, so everything’s all good…”

Me? Tess? No! Liz… you can’t believe that! I don’t like Tess! She’s evil, but even if she wasn’t I wouldn’t! Of all the barking moments of my day, if I could have my human voice for just 10 seconds, it would be now. Just so she’d know.

Maria frowned. “You sure Chica? Because like two days ago he couldn’t stop hounding me about when you were coming home…”

“I’m sure. But it’s good you know ‘Ria? Maybe if he’s moved on now I can move on…”

“Yea…” Maria sighed, giving Liz a hug, something that I wished I could do. I settled for licking her hand, and she smiled at me and petted my head. “Czechoslovakian’s suck anyway. They screw up everyone’s love lives. Anyhow if Max was a dog he’d probably be like a black lab or something and be all quiet and brooding not cute and playful like this little guy!” Liz laughed. Believe me Maria, I would have though the same thing, but there you go…

~

Maria was down stairs working, and Liz and I were outside on her deck chair. She was writing in her diary. This place had some good times for me you know? Our first kiss, that sort of thing.

“I’m Liz Parker, and two months ago I walked away from the love of my life so that he could go fall in love with Tess and go be king of his planet like he was meant to be. So why do I feel so betrayed when I see him walking around with her, arm in arm? I left so that I wouldn’t get in the way of all that, and I pretend like I really want that to happen, but somewhere deep inside of me, whenever Maria told me that Max was still not over me I reveled in knowing that there was a chance that our love was stronger than whatever destiny he had planned…”
There was a knock on the door and Liz looked up.

“Lizzie?” Mr Parker stuck his head in “Agnes had a –erm- ‘family emergency’. Do you think you could help me close?”

“Sure Dad, I’ll be right down.” I trotted along after her. That was a lot to process, I mean I was thrilled that she still loved me and wanted me to love her not Tess… not that there was ever a chance of me giving up on her. But this whole thing was giving her more grief than she should have had- she was getting hurt over what Nasedo and Tess were doing. That wasn’t even me! But I had absolutely no way of telling her- believe me, I tried, but it is impossible to write with dog paws and equally as impossible with a dog mouth. It just looked like I was chewing up her pencil, which she took away from me. So I was stuck watching her get hurt over nothing.

~

Maria picked me up and sat me on the counter the minute I came out with Liz. In the kitchen, Michael was doing whatever he needed to do before he could leave- wash stuff, dump stuff, dry stuff. I’m not really sure on the details come to think of it, I’ve never really asked…

“Maria! This is a restaurant, you can’t put Elmo on the counter! People eat there, it’s unhygienic!” Liz thought I was unhygienic?! Did I smell bad, like a wet dog?

“He’s an invalid, he needs to be able to see people!” Damn straight! Liz gave Maria a look. Come to think of it, that did sound like a pretty feeble come back… It seemed Maria thought so too. “Oh come on Liz, lighten up… the café is closed, no one’s gonna know, and it’s not like we don’t wipe them every other damn minute of the working day… besides, I don’t see why he’s allowed on your bed and not on the counter.” I swear to God if she got me kicked off the bed…

“Did I just hear you right?” Michael came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands. “You named the dog Elmo?! What kind of name is that?!”

“You know, if you don’t like it we can change it, it’s fine, I just couldn’t think of anything else...”

“You know Guerin, you can’t control everyone’s lives! As I recall, the dog isn’t yours anymore, so she can name it whatever the hell she wants!” That was Maria getting a little bit of revenge, Deluca style. Pain flashed through Michael’s eyes- I happen to know that he might have let her go, but he still loved her. Ditto to me and Liz.

“Yea whatever,” he muttered, retreating into the kitchen. “Not my problem if Elmo turns out gay.”

“You know it’s his dog too Maria…”

“Yea? Who cares?” Liz bit her lip, grinning, and went back to sweeping. Sometimes, you just had to let Maria win.

The bell over the front door tinkled.

“Sorry, we’re cl-Max! Tess! What are you guys doing here?” I could feel an attack come on. My legs hadn’t been a problem for a few hours, I was feeling up for a good mouth-sized chunk of a poser-Max leg. Jumping off the counter, I growled and launched myself towards Nasedo’s ankle-

BUMP

I suddenly found myself stuck between two chair legs. Damn that white cone! It would be off soon, and then, they would face my wrath. Until then I’d have to settle for sitting here and glaring at them, much akin to what I did to people I didn’t like in my human days.

“Oh hi Liz, we’re just waiting for Michael to finish his shift so we can go work on some stuff at his place.” Tess had her fake smile on, and an arm around Nasedo.

“He’s almost done, he’ll be out in a second… but you know if you need any help, we’d be happy to, I mean Max, I know that we aren’t together anymore, but that doesn’t mean me and Maria don’t care anymore you know…” Liz was babbling, obviously affected.

“It’s ok Liz, we can handle it… we’re just going to practice blowing up a few rocks and stuff.” Poser-Max gave her a small smile, actually looking pretty convincingly like me.

“Oh no!” Maria cut in. “You can’t just cut us out there! We’ve told you before, it’s not just the four of you anymore, we’re involved too!”

Michael came out of the break room, changed into his usual 3-day old shirt and jeans. It’s amazing the detail you could smell. “Maxwell. Tess.”

“Michael! Can you please tell them! Liz and I have every right to be at all the ‘secret alien’ meetings too!”

“Maria it’s ok, we don’t need to go-” Liz whispered to Maria.

“No Liz we do! What if something happens, like someone hears what the orb sent out, and they come and we don’t know about it because these numbskulls have shut us out!”

To all our surprise, Michael took Maria aside and calmed her down… What had happened to letting her go? But she seemed calmer, and was sniffing her cedar oil… It was then that I realized I could hear them, despite the hushed voices and them being all the way at the other end of the diner.

“Maria, I swear I’ll tell you what’s going on ok? Just… don’t make a fuss-“

“A fuss! A fuss Michael? We have stuck our necks out to help you guys countless times and now we aren’t even allowed to go to any ‘practice’ sessions?!” she hissed.

“You didn’t come to any all summer.” He pointed out.

“But that was different! We were broken up! You didn't want me around in case you accidentally blew me up!”

“We’re still broken up! And I still might accidentally blow you up!”

“But now Liz is back Michael, and I just want to make sure that there’s no hanky-panky going on with Tess and Max, because I really don’t think she could handle that no matter what she says, and up until a few days ago I was quite assured there would be none of that going on!”

“Max, can I talk to you for a second?” Liz said, pulling poser-Max went to a side. Tess fumed at their backs, I don’t know why she was being so possessive of him even though she knew as well as I did that he wasn’t even the real me. I guess it must have burned that she couldn’t even control the fake Max.

“Look, I realize that you don’t need us around, but would it be ok if we went anyway? And just watched? I know Maria would really like to, and I won’t lie to you, I wouldn’t be devastated either, just so we know that we aren’t missing anything…” she looked at him helplessly, and I wished to God that I didn’t have this white cone so I could get a good chunk out of his leg.

“Liz, you aren’t going to be missing anything, I promise.” He smiled at her reassuringly. This guy was doing a really good impression of me. What had happened to the moron of this morning?

“I know, but could we come anyway? Just in case?”

“Well… I guess if it’s ok with-“

CRASH

All three of us whipped our heads around to where the noise came from.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry, did I do that? Well, we really have to be going; you know how Isabelle doesn’t like to be kept waiting…” Tess said, walking towards the door, pulling pseudo-Max with her, shrugging at the broken bottle of ketchup on the floor. "Come on Michael."

“It’s ok Tess,” Liz said, bending down to pick up the pieces. “We could just meet you there or some-”

“That really won’t be necessary.” Tess said coldly, before closing the door firmly.

Maria picked me up. “You know, you’re lucky you aren’t a girl-dog, or we’d have to name you Tess.”

So I'm meant to be doing a history essay, or sleeping because it's 5 am but what the hell this is more fun. actually this was only intended to be a bit of one part but i went mad with the narrative so now it gets to be its own whole part. yea!

and you know what? Im too lazy to proof read so if u see any mistakes please tell me or ill check another day

Also, i am at the moment angry at max because the balance was on tv today and he stepped back and i wanted to slap him.

PLUSSSSS i hate computers coz my laptop refuses to acknowledge any
internet connection plus has no diskette drive so i have to type out in the hallway with no air conditioning also, this page wont let me have an avator, which was SUPPOSED to be a pic of elmo. dammit.

if any of you would like to make a banner, i'd love you forever if you couldn't tell, that is going way beyond my computer using abilities.

Foreverdreamer15: Yea Tess is a big loser like that... can't even control her fake man. haha. the rest... it was meant to be in this part but now it isn't so haaaaa.sorry.

Neck/ Nina: Don't worry, it'll all be good in the end! You were spot on about a certain evil duo having something to do with all this...

Drea: I love how you have stopped saying anything that could in anyway predict the future thanks for the encouragement. I must be the only weirdo who thoroughly enjoys PMSing

g7silvers: the first little bit of this is dedicated to u and how tickled you are with Elmo's sleeping arrangement.

roswelllover: thanks for reading! you make a mad number of posts you know...

Lizzy88: Thank you thank you *bows* ummm if you read the first 3 chapters or even only 2 and 3 i think you might figure out what happened with max.

jbangelo: yes. i decided that nacedo should actually be quite a good actor in the end coz he's been doing it for like fifty years

Natz: Glad you like it!

Dreamer19: Depends on your definition of soon. I guarantee Max will not be getting any shots from the vet!

So i just realised that i have like 9 readers which is more than the number of chapters so im immensely big-headed right now yeaaa... so thanks you guys. I love you!!!!!!




Part 6

I woke up the next morning feeling the sun on my particularly large snout. That was actually a bit disconcerting at first, but I got over it when I realised that the underside of my snout was resting on a particularly silky pillow of flesh- that sounds gruesome but it really wasn’t, because that pillow was Liz’s calf. That’s right, calf. I, Max Evans, had spent the entire night touching Liz Parker’s leg, and, that fact made me absurdly unnaturally deliriously happy. It was as if someone had just slipped me an entire bottle of Prozac, but without that little side effect of death from overdose.

And the best part was that every time I inhaled I was completely consumed by the perfect combination of sleep, ice cream and a field of flowers…The Morning Liz Scent. It was the most intoxicating scent ever. Not that I wasn’t usually completely enthralled with how Liz usually smelt, but after a day in the diner there was a certain hamburger-tint to everything. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the smell of hamburgers as much as the next teenaged boy-alien-dog but it somehow taints the pure essence of Liz. Maybe you’ve never noticed, but people smell different when they’re asleep, or have just woken up. It’s somehow a peaceful scent.

Liz was still asleep, in a funny skewed position on her side, the blanket basically only covering her middle having been thrown off her limbs. Her perfect limbs. On one of which my head was resting on.

More importantly, there were funny noises coming from all around me. For one thing, I knew somehow that there were 3 pigeons on her balcony having a conversation about how the family was planning on going to either Singapore or Ceylon for the winter. I couldn’t really tell which, my pigeon-speak wasn’t that great yet. Why I could speak pigeon was beyond me, I guess there were some perks to seeing everything in gray...

I could also hear Mr. Parker snoring about 12 feet to my left, give or take a few walls. Ha! Take that Jeffy boy, I had spent the night in your daughter’s room, in her bed, with her in it, and with you extremely close and in the know, and there was nothing you could do about it! Was that a bad thought?

Liz stirred next to and underneath me. I jumped off the bed so that I wouldn’t get kicked if she forgot I was there. Although, nothing could ruin my morning.

“Good morning Elmo! Did you have a good sleep boy? Did you? Huh? Huh?” Good morning. Yes I did. Yes. Yes. She was really cute when she spoke to me like that. It was like she thought I was replying, and was really pleased for me that my morning had gone so well. It was about to get better.

Liz walked into her bathroom, but obviously, I didn’t follow. The girl needed her space, and I didn’t want to walk in on her doing anything unpleasant. But from the sound of the faucet, she was just brushing her teeth. Pulling off her shirt. Pulling off her trousers. Taking a shower. You have no idea how much self-determination it was taking not to run in the bathroom and die of happiness. Then I looked up and discovered that the mirror in her room was angled perfectly so I could actually see her in the shower from where I was sitting, back to the bathroom. It was like fate was telling me it was my prerogative to look.

But you know what? I was a gentleman and hid my face under my paws. Fate and I didn’t have such a hot relationship, seeing as I was apparently destined for Tess. Unless Destiny is Fate’s evil twin. Which was possible actually, but I wasn’t about to take any chances. Instead, I just lay there and appreciated the clouds of steam laced with vanilla soap that were wafting through the room. Until she came out with a towel on and I had to uncover my eyes because I was blocking the dresser drawers. I swear to God, I tried not to look, I really did.

~

I trotted alongside Liz as she entered the kitchen, which was cool for once since the café wasn’t open yet. She took something out of a cupboard, but I stopped paying attention right there because a gecko crawled out of it and chirped something about how it could see down her shirt so I decided I should try to eat it. Sadly, it was on the ceiling and I was on the floor. So I just barked at it.

“You hungry boy? Yea? Yea? Ok Elmo, almost breakfast time… good thing I bought this yesterday right after you came huh? Huh?” Actually come to think of it I was pretty hungry. Yes. The lizard could wait- it would die tonight! Liz had gone out without me yesterday? When was that? Oh right. Nap time.

Liz put two bowls down behind the counter on a piece of newspaper. One was water. Boring. The other was some funny mix of horse meat, gravy and other animal bits. Smelt good! I took a big bite. I spat it out. Not that great.

“Oh my God I almost forgot! Elmo come here, you need to take your pills! The directions say before food!” Liz grabbed me, which was obviously not a bad thing. Except she then pried my mouth open.

“Liz… I don’t exactly think I need pills…I’m alright. Seriously.” But as I should have expected, she did not speak dog. She then placed this huge pink pill on the back of my tongue and clamped my snout shut. I gagged, and then realised that in doing this I had inadvertently swallowed the large pink thing. Wow. Liz was good. But then… there were 3 Liz’s, and they were all standing next to each other.

“Good boy Elmo Elmo Elmo Boy boy good Work going I now later you see going me I Elmo stay.”

That was exciting, I had to shake my head to get the echos out which made me even more dizzy and then I looked up and she was gone and there was a little bell somewhere which kept going tinkle tinkle tinkle it sounded quite nice tinkle look food! Bleargh I remember this it tastes like crap actually it’s not that bad just needs a little something to spice it up how can I make it spicey I wonder if ketchup is spicey I wonder which one it is why are all the bottles up there grey and why can’t I reach them?

You know what I remember what’s nice and spicey and goes on food I love Tabasco sauce I bet it tastes great with horse leg and intestines and other nice bits and was that I chunk of beef I smelt, now that’s class, although that little bit of rat I could do without where does Mr Tabasco live? 142 Wallaby Way Sydney! How was I going to get to Sydney? No that was P Sherman and that was possibly the wrong address, goddamit I was never going to find Tabasco Man. Hey look Maria’s legs, I know so because they smell like lots of incense oils like lavender which is soothing and cedar too I think she uses that way too much. You know what I remember where the bottle lives, when I used to come here back when I was a people and Liz is so pretty she used to bring me that red sauce but I bet its gray now so I hope I recognise it and she used to have to bend over to get it from the cupboard at the end of the counter so sometimes I’d use too much even though it tasted a bit odd so that she would bend down and there was lots lots lots of leg. I slept on that!

Look there’s the cupboard why do I have to be so darn short there’s no way I can open that I don’t even have thumbs any more Oh look it opened by its self. How did that happen hmm the bottle rolled out yay damn this bandage I think I don’t need it anyhow good bye long strip of white cloth funny how there’s no blood smell on it, none on my foot either who cares the tabasco bottle just opened itself so I can shake it on the food.

This is much better thank you Mr. T. I’ll just hide you here in the corner hopefully no one will kidnap you like Michael hey look it’s Michael in the kitchen and Isabelle is here! HELLO ISABELLE CAN YOU SEE ME I AM YOUR BROTHER FROM THE PLANET ZORG OR ANTAR OR WHATEVER?!?!?

“Michael! Your dog keeps jumping on me and he’s getting his fur on my black pants!”

“Oh my God Isabelle I’m so sorry, No! Elmo! No!” Liz is here she says no I think that means that I cant hug my sister any more even though she smells nice like home and fruit-

“Grow up Isabelle, he’s just being polite and saying good morning, c’mere boy!” Michael brought me a treat good old Michael thank you Michael scratch my tummy Michael. Michael was great.

“It’s fine Liz… I was just a little shocked. He’s kind of cute. Are you sure you’re fine with taking him? I could try and convince Max to let him stay at our house if you want…”
“No, it’s fine Isabelle, but thanks. He keeps me company, and besides, I’m sure you and Max have some more important stuff than dogs to handle… how was last night?”

Isabelle’s funny her eyes roll at Liz even though she’s smiling at me at the same time and petting me her nails are so shiney I wish I had shiney stones on my nails how manly and gangsta would that be bet the lizard would be so scared…

“It was really boring actually. You didn’t miss much, it was just us moving rocks around and stuff… you would have been really bored. Max has really taken on this control kick thing since you came back…”

“Yea… but it’s good right? Following your destiny and all…”

“No thanks… I am in no way following Michael on any path.”

“Excuse me Miss?”

“Sorry Isabelle, I have to get back to work.”

“Sure no problem… hey Liz? Is it ok if I take Elmo with me for the day? You know, get him off your hands and maybe give him a little fresh air.”

“That would be great Isabelle, thanks.”

Isabelle is taking me home home home I hope she’s figured out that I’m me and Nasedo is a slimy piece of extra-terrestrial sh*t.

I know the second half of the last chapter was really irritating to read, and this one will be too. but i promise by 8 everything will be back to normal! Something... interesting is happening to him right now still can't figure out the avator thing...

Drea: Thanks for all the encouragement, you've been really sweet!! Good luck with the heater. I live in Singapore where there's no such thing as temperatures below 25 celcius unless you're indoors...

Foreverdreamer15: Don't worry he's not forgetting, he's just a little off his rocker right now.

Roswellluver: yea seriously Max is having communication problems...hee

Natz: Glad you liked it, i figure people max would be just as happy.

jbangelo: yep, tabasco is very significant


and to all the lurkers: HELOOO!!!! hahaha.


Part 7

Is brought me home! I missed home! It smells nice of Mom and Dad and Is and Me and floor cleaner and lots of other stuff hang on what’s that sterile musty smell? And that overly-floral one? How perculiar…

“Max? Are you home?” Yes! I am! She has figured it out good on you Is!

“Hey Isabelle!” Ah the smell is explained SHE is here.

“Hey Isabelle…” And him too! Why are they in my house?

“Tess! What are you doing here?” Exactly! Get out!

“Oh me and Max were just practicing some memory retrieval stuff… you want to try?” No Isabelle, don’t go with her, it’s a trap!

“Er… No it’s ok thanks. You guys go do whatever.”

“Isabelle. What is the dog doing here? I told you, we can’t keep an animal.”

“Jeez Max, relax, Elmo is just visiting for the day…Liz looked really busy and I thought he might like a change of scene.”

“He’s really sweet Is… does he normally growl so much?” You know I watched Beethoven once and when the punk picked him up as a puppy he peed on her, and that is what I am going to do to Tess or Pseudo-Max, depending on who touches me first.

“Um…He’s probably just not used to you…” Not used to two-faced liars! “Maybe if you pet him he’ll get used to you…” Yes! Please do that, and I will bite your fingers off!
She wrinkled her nose. “No thanks… I’m not really much of a dog person.”

“We’ll just be in my room ok Isabelle?”

“Yea Max, whatever…” I was pulling at the leash with all my might so I could take a huge bite out of someone, but sadly my little body does not have the strength it used to so I couldn’t get close enough.
Dagnabbit.

Fake Max and Tess disappeared into my room, a fact which really gets my goat… and sheep. They were getting their germs all over my stuff and probably scratching my CDs and stuff. Ooh Is has a toy for me! Cool!

~

Isabelle has been watching some stupid show on tv for the last half hour and been ignoring me so I am exploring the house to look for things to do. My room has the two evil people who like to blast me in it so I am staying well away from there because they are mean and unfriendly obviously. What I really want to do is run back to the Crashdown and tell Liz I love her but I was hindered by these blasted doors and then there’s the fact that she hasn’t been understanding me since my big transformation.

You know what would be fun, if everything in Isabelle’s room turned orange and green because she hates those colours especially together and it would serve her right for ignoring me to watch tv. Ooh look at that the sheets have gone gray! They were white just now. And they’re getting even grayer paw prints on them where I’m walking around how exciting. Gecko! Tell your pal in the Crashdown to watch his back. This is just a warning shot! Ooh look at that, I blasted him! This is so exciting. Actually I only blasted near him and now he’s run out side good riddance! But his tail is still here on the floor that is so cool I think I’ll give it to Isabelle heehee.

~

“Hey boy, what have you got ther- Oh my God! That is so disgusting. No! Elmo! No! Don’t eat it! No! Oh ew.” She didn’t like my present and has gone back to watching the television I guess she hasn’t noticed it’s me yet so I’m going back to her room because I have things to turn gray.

You know what? I have a brilliant plan. With my newly rediscovered powers, I will write Isabelle a HUGE message on her wall so she can figure out that I’m the dog! Brilliant!

“Is- Don’t trust ‘Max’ – he’s Nasedo- nor Tess. –Elmo ie Max.”

I know that seems like a short and not very poignant note, but it was hell to write, controlling my paw like that. So now I would just have to get Isabelle up here and it would all be good! Good good good.

My super sensitive ears are picking up on something! Actually that isn’t really true, I’m standing out side my door, I couldn’t resist a little eaves dropping before I go to get Is.

“We’ve been searching here forever and haven’t found anything that could help us find him! You know, you can’t pretend to be Max forever… we need the foursquare! And I can’t exactly have your baby and pass it off as his…”

“We have no choice. As long as I am Max, no one else will be looking for him, which buys you and I just a little more time, Tessa.”

“But what if he comes back? Someone’s going to find out!”

“No one will find out. We know he is not in Roswell, and we know that the injuries he sustained probably left him unconscious somewhere. So what do we do?” Tess took a deep breath, which sounded like how Maria breathed in when she was trying to suppress some serious freak-out.

“We start looking for him in the closest towns and work outwards, checking hospital records for similar descriptions because he may not use or remember his real name, but if he is not well enough to heal himself he will not be well enough to change his appearance. We look at hotel and motel records and employment records too.”

“Good. We will find him, and we will do it before anyone else.”

~

So I thought about it, and decided that the best person to be in this sort of situation was Liz because she was so smart and pretty and good in emergencies so what would Liz do? In fact, what would me the non-dog do? I would tell myself to lay low and act normal. I must use my keen intellect and be inconspicuous so as not to arouse suspicion! It is a genius plan! Because if I just announced I was Max then things would obviously get very sticky for the two of them but then also in all likeliness they could gang up on me and mind-warp me I wonder if you could mind warp dogs? Anyway they’d do that and then steal my sperm guys and make a little Tess-Max-evil-human-alien-dog and the poor kid would definitely get teased in school.

So I would act normal! Which was a bit disappointing because I had to go remove my message from the wall, and wouldn’t you know it Is hadn’t even seen it yet she was still watching tv, and I also had to change the bed sheets back to white because I thought that she was also quite smart and might notice if her sheets had mysteriously turned orange and green and all her clothes too and then she’d know something was wrong. Assuming the shades of gray they had turned were in fact orange and green.

I went downstairs after I had put things right, and thought I would sniff around in the dining room for clues like in Blue’s Clues, Blue isn’t such a bad name for a dog why did I have to get stuck with the name Elmo? Although to be honest it was sort of growing on me like a scary strand of bacteria. Everything started getting foggy again and then for a moment I thought Tess was mind warping me because everything was swaying and there were 3 of everything, except chairs, there were about a million chairs all trying to jump out at me… Whups, bumped into a table leg there, there are quite a lot of those too and this funnel thing isn’t helping much in that department, whups whups whups…



What the hell? How did I get home?

As usual, I'm doing this instead of legitimate work. Just felt like getting it done.

Roswellluver: Yea he is abit out of it huh? Thanks for your support!

Jbangelo:Ditto with the support bIT!

g7silvers: This should answer some of that... no fear, he'll be a dog for a while.

Part 8

The last thing I could remember was a terrible breakfast of chopped up animal parts that were so inedible they were rejected by anyone with the voice or opportunity to complain. So basically, I was missing about 5 hours of my day...How did that happen?

Wait. I also remembered Liz being sneaky with the choking the pills down my throat thing. But absolutely nothing after that. Zero Zip Nada. The only time anything like that had ever happened to me was when Kyle induced me into taking a swig from his hip flask. Seriously, who has one of those? What was he, 80? But there was an interesting thought... experience post pills relating to post alcohol one. The more I thought about it, the more likely it seemed. Why wouldn't I get high from medication? It was sort of like drugs right? And I've never had to try any thanks to brilliant non-sick DNA that repelled germs like grease on a frying pan, so it's not something I'd know to look out for. The idea was entirely possible.

If that was the case, number one on my to do list for the day was get rid of those damn pink pills. How I'd do that without Liz noticing was an entirely different matter, because knowing her they were carefully put away in some airtight container that I would have no way of opening. And supposing I did get to them, she'd get them replaced like that- If I had fingers, I would have snapped them on the that. As is, I can just wag my tail ferociously.

The door bell rang, and startled me out of my thinking. I think I might have barked. It's really not my fault, I was shocked. At least my dog-voice was quite manly and low, not one of those yipping ones. That would have been truly humiliating. I ran to the door- it was the only way of finding out who was there, because for some reason, people don't tell their dogs when someone's come to visit like they do to people.

I was quite proud to know that I didn't need to wait for Isabelle to open the door before I knew it was Michael. I recognised his breathing, plus his distinctly Michael-ish smell, even through the 2 inches of solid wood. Go me. I was getting good at this dog thing.

"Hey Michael, what's up?"

"Max home?"

"Yea, he's with Tess in his room." Isabelle made a face at that. It was an interesting development, considering that Tess was Isabelle's friend first. Michael made a sort of smirky-sneer, I guess that was a sign of disapproval.

"Wanna walk?" Isabelle got her jacket, then looked at me appraisingly.

"Well, there's no way we can leave Elmo in the house with Max the anti-dog."

"Bring him along."

"See the bandage Michael? It mean's he's injured. As in, has difficulty walking? Besides, we don't have a leash."

"Use a piece of string or something..." Seeing her horrified expression, he gave her a 'duh' look. I was pretty upset myself, not particularly liking the idea of being dragged around with a noose of twine around my neck. "Be creative Isabelle, you're an alien."

She grinned and took a shoe lace out of one of my shoes lying near the door. "These shoes are way too ugly for anyone to wear anyhow." Hey! I liked those shoes ok! Waving her hand over it, a leash appeared. It kind of bothered me that it was pink, but it was to be expected since it matched her shirt.

"If he starts limping too bad, I'll carry him." Michael said as Isabelle locked the door. He was sitting on the step, playing with me, or rather, letting me gnaw on his hand while he smirked in a way that was distinctly affectionate. Oddly enough, my legs felt fine. No pain at all. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes. As in Michael and Isabelle, not my legs, although they did the same. I chased a few ants but they weren't much for racing with. I usually overtook which kind of undermined the whole 'chase' thing.

"So you know, the UFO centre got a new manager..." What? No more Milton? This was news! Isabelle looked suprised.

"Really? Max didn't say anything."

"Yea. I don't think he knows. Apparently he hasn't been showing up for work. This Brody guy put up a Help Wanted sign."

"No way! He didn't tell me he quit!"

"Yea well what the hell has he been doing for the last couple of days, then? 'Coz he hasn't been hanging around at the Crashdown mooning over Liz, which is where I'd expect him to be off-hours."

"You know," Isabelle said uncomfortably "Tess and Max have been hanging out alot. Working on the memory revival thing. Maybe he forgot. Or wasn't on shift or something."

"Right. Forgot. Come on Is, that is totally unlike him."

"I'm not his keeper ok Michael? I don't know. Maybe he's decided to accept the destiny thing since Liz wont give him the time of day- she totally blew him off the other day you know, she didn't tell him she was back or anything."

"Whatever..." he was quiet for a while. "Don't you think it's weird though? That Milton would just leave? Aliens were his life. That kinda ET junkie wouldn't just sell out." Isabelle sighed.

"What do you want to do about it?"

"I was just going to check him out you know, see what's going on there."

"Fine. But we should tell Max first you know-"

"Screw Max, Isabelle. If he wasn't so 'busy' in the first place, he'd have figured it out by himself when he showed up at work and his boss wasn't his boss."

"Just-just don't get in trouble ok Michael? We don't need any attention, even if the FBI is taken care of." Michael smirked at her and walked away, but not before he slipped me a piece of bacon that was in his pocket. Great guy, Michael, even if he was going to completely screw this up. But the alternative was telling Nasedo that there was a suspicious character lurking about and at that moment, that option wasn't really doing it for me.

Isabelle sat down on a park bench. It dawned on me that two nights ago, in this very park, two of my supposed 'comrades' had tried to blast me to bits. But actually, that wasn't true, it was only because I'd gotten away before Tess could mind warp me. Would I have preferred living in ignorance? It is bliss you know, or so I've heard...

She was biting her lip, and had a little crease on her forehead from frowning. Something was bothering her, and it was probably me, even if that wasn't the real me. I nuzzled her ankle, the only thing I could do to show her I cared.

"Deep in thought?" We both looked up, suprised.

"Hey Alex!"

"Hey, so I was just walking along here and saw you sitting alone... thought you might not mind some company?"

"Sure, have a seat." She patted the bench next to her and he sat down. Then he reached down and petted me.

"So this is Elmo huh? The Michael dog. Heard all about him from Maria. She thinks that if he can show affection for a dog, it was a sign that some could be siphoned off for her." Isabelle laughed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"She's still trying to get him back?"

"Hell yea! You can't just run away from a Deluca you know? They're determined women." He wiggled his eyebrows and she giggled some more. I meanwhile was thinking that the last time I saw him, he was victim to a mind warp, and in all likeliness was still getting his regular dose of them. Aren't I a happy bunny-er puppy?

"He still loves her. He's just trying to protect her... this alien destiny thing, it's really thrown all of us off."

"He'll cave eventually. His life is too boring without her..." he smiled to himself and then his voice took on a more serious tone as he said tentatively "So what about you and me? Is there any chance of you caving?" Seeing her crestfallen face, he shook his head. "You know what, forget I said anything."

"Alex... it's not that I don't care about you, I really do... and I really appreciate everything you've done for all of us... it's just... not a good time you know? For any of us."

"Yea..."

"I thought we were good as just friends?" she said that almost reproachfully. I was actually kind of zoning out right then, my sister's love life is not really something I wanted to get into.

"Friends. Right. I can do friends." He grinned. "Got a birthday coming up huh? Doing anything then?"

"Alex..."

"Just as friends! I know I ain't gonna be gettin' no lovin'!" he held his hands up in mock defence.

"Actually... I am sorta doing something."

"Another day then? I figure I need to spend some time with all my friends before I fly off to hang with all ze little sveeden boys ja?"

"Sveeden?" she said, raising her eyebrows.

"Ja, Sveeden, vere all the strooodel lives. I am getting a foreign exchange deal dere ja!"

"Really? That's awesome!"

"Ja... the principal is call-en my house-en last night to talk-en to my parents ja?"

"Wow... so you'll be going soon?" He raised his eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes before saying "ja?"

Grinning, he replied "Ja. Well, I have gotten to be go-en now ja? Goede bye!"

"Goede bye!" Isabelle waved laughing.

That was cool, going on an exchange programma to Sweeden. Lots of cheese and snow and all that, and no one deserved to get an opportunity like Alex did... except maybe Liz. Something puzzled me though... other than the fact that he was speaking Dutch not Sweedish-I didn't watch Cow and Chicken all summer and learn nothing you know. The thing was... foreign exchange? In October?

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a while... no inspiration you see. However, seeing as the most important exams I will ever take in my life are just around the corner, i thought this was the perfect opportunity.

Moving on. Thanks for all your encouragement y'all. I appreciate it. and let me just tell you i nearly died of fright when i logged on and discovered i had 19 posts... to the effect of wtf happened to the fifty-one that i was so chuffed about reaching?!?! but it's all good.

Natz: Thanks! and yea, he's suspicious. smart little dog like that. sadly, no one else speaks his lingo...

Butterflies: Thanks and good to have you on board! Welcome. Max has only actually been a dog for 2 days so i think he's surviving.

Roswellluver: And thank you for reading!

Drea: I figured you might have guessed... i also figure you've figured out how the dog thing happened. i am terribly proud of you! good job!
posting power comes from not having anything better to do ya! hope the weather gets better although i have a sneaking suspicion that doesnt happen when you're headed towards winter...

Sternbetrachter: That took me a lot of concentration to type your name right. might not even be right. but welcome anyhow!!!

foreverdreamer15: he's a little alien-dawg. so yea he has powers. which he has forgotten about for a while. as for the alex thing.. well... *fingers crossed*

jbangelo: fear not! all will be revealed eventually! ie he isnt a dog forever...

dreamer19: ditto to you! as in what i said above. yea.

g7silvers: greetings, here's another part.

surfgirl02: whoo... scary... so i'm backkkkkk!!!


ooh yea-- the song i use is "i touch myself" by Blondie.

edited to say: whups. it took me 2 days to remember i was meant to do that little title changing thing...


Part 9


I was back at the Crashdown, gathering my thoughts. Plus, I had one of those little leather chew bones, which was actually really nice when lathered with a generous portion of Tabasco. I found an open bottle in a corner. Okay, so, what I knew for sure:

1) Tess was plotting to get pregnant with my child.
-Nasedo was either a co-conspirator or mastermind. Probably the latter, because as far as I knew one needed more than three brain cells to plot properly.

2) Tess and Nasedo were trying to translate the Destiny book.
-Tess was going to mind warp Alex and make him go to some unknown university to use some super computer to do it.
-Alex was supposedly going to Sweden as a foreign exchange student. What was Tess going to do about that? Did it completely foil her plan?

3) Tess and Nasedo know that I know.
-Tess tried to blast me. But not to kill me, just to hinder me so that I’d be good for mind warping. That was comforting, if they did find me, I probably wouldn’t die.

4) Nasedo is pretending to be me.
-No idea why this is happening, I guess so no one notices I'm gone.
-As me, he's pretending to be in love with Tess. What use that'd be to him is beyond me too, other than so that Tess can feel good about herself finally being the 'King's' girlfriend.


5) I’m a dog. How that happened is still a mystery.
-I’m a West Highland Terrier. Very exciting, having a breed. Liz looked it up at some point while I was at home.

6) Little pink pills are bad.

It was pathetic that that was all I knew about the entire situation. Obviously this called for some covert snooping on my part, seeing as no one understood me so no one could help. I had tried to enlist the aid of some pigeons but sadly they don’t care for adventures that range outside a tropical vacation. But still, I couldn’t draw any attention to myself, because once one of the group knew there was something wrong with me, all of the group would know. And in all likeliness, Tess and Nasedo would solve the puzzle before anyone else and mind warp me.

But first thing’s first. How could I get rid of the pills?

“Maria? Could you close for me? I know I’m supposed to do it but I have some stuff to do, you know, before I go to work tomorrow and stuff? Please?” Liz was kind of babbling, and her voice was an octave higher than usual.

“Sure Liz, no problem…It’s not like this place is exactly bursting with people or anything.” Maria smirked, looking around at all the patrons. Or rather, nodding her head in the direction of the old man who sat alone eating a piece of pie. Apart from him, the only table that was full was occupied by ketchup bottles that were being refilled. Liz looked eternally grateful.

“Thanks Maria- I’ll call you tomorrow or something.” I was thinking that this would be the perfect time to take the pills, since Liz was busy upstairs. Sadly, my 2-foot body just could not reach the counter top, let alone open the drawer where the pills were. Plus, knowing Liz, she’d realise they were missing and immediately run out to get them replaced. Grrrrr, the trials of canine-aliendom.

“Yea, night-” Liz was out of there and up the stairs in no time. “-Liz. Huh.” Shrugging, Maria went back to the ketchup.

Tinkle tinkle.

No, that was not the sound of some distant animal marking it’s territory on my turf. It was the little bell on the door as it opened.

“Oh Max, you’re so funny!” Tess giggled into ‘my’ chest, ‘my’ arm wrapped firmly around her waist. Maria looked up and I heard her hiss. I was growling myself, not that anyone noticed. We both figured out right then what had sent Liz flying up stairs. Obviously she could see through glass windows better than the rest of us. ‘I’ was grinning, the way that I did when Liz held my hand and laughed. I had to admit, he had mastered me pretty well, except his walk was about 3 coolness points away from being spaz. ‘Max’ looked up mid-chuckle and apparently only just noticed Maria.

“Oh hey- er-” Maria narrowed her eyes. Had he forgotten her name? Dead give away dude! “We were just looking for Isabelle, she said she was coming down here with the mutt.” Mutt?! Did he just call me a mutt? I was a pure breed okay, no doubt about it!

“Chyea, what was that, like, 3 hours ago? Get with the program Max.”

“Maria, do you think I could get like a diet soda or something? I’m really thirsty.” Tess gave her a perky smile. Maria raised her eyebrows and gave them a pinched, extremely fake smile.

“Sure Tess. Max, could I talk to you for a sec?”

“But er-” Not that Maria cared what his answer was, she just pulled him with her.

“Max!” She hissed “What the hell do you think you’re doing? With Tess?! What happened to the whole 'Liz is my whole life, I will win her back no matter what, I love her she is so perfect, I don’t go for blondes' thing? Do you remember that? You only spent the entire summer telling me that! And now! You! Here! HER! ARGH! AND you forgot my name? What are you, so hopelessly in love with that Brady Bunch B*tch that you don’t even remember your friends anymore?” This was obviously said with plenty of hand gestures, waving them towards Tess, waving them upstairs, waving them above her in frustration.

“I don’t know Maria. I was just thinking about it, and I decided that to find our way home I had to embrace my destiny. It’s not like Liz is exactly trying to jump my bones now is it?” He said coldly.

“You know what? You’ve changed Max, and I don’t mean that in a good way. At all. Here’s your drink Tess.” She slammed a paper cup down on the counter. “It’s ‘To go’ as in, ‘go away’.”

~

“Liz? You alright?” Maria peeked her head into Liz’s room, and at her feet, I did the same. She was sitting at her desk, hunched over some books and paper, her beautiful if gray hair hiding her face.

“Yea…I just had some stuff…” she gestured weakly at her books.

“Look Chica, I’m really sorry about the whole Max thing… I have no idea what’s gotten into him, I swear while you were away he was totally-

“It’s fine Maria…It’s good. It’s great. I have work tomorrow and I should sleep so maybe…”

“Yea… I’m gone. But call me if you need anything okay?”

“I won’t- need anything. But thanks.” Maria nodded and closed the door. Liz sat rigidly for a few moments, until she was sure that Maria was gone, and then flopped back in her chair and sighed. And yet again, the only thing I could do for her was nudge her hand with my nose, in what I hoped was a remotely comforting way. Do you know how helpless I felt, trapped there? It sucked. It sucked even worse when a tear hit the floor. As I licked her hand, I got a flash. Back before any of this, before we even found the orb, when she ‘dropped’ her pencil in the science lab and I bent down to pick it up, and instead of getting up, I just knelt there on the floor, touching her hand. We got detention for that, but still. It was an earth-rocking experience.

Apparently she didn’t notice the flash. Just me. Maybe people couldn’t get flashes off dogs?

“Wake up Liz, what are you doing, just moping? Moping is not like you at all.” She said, assumably to herself, sitting up straight. “What you need, is to get some perspective. That’s right. A little perspective, a little music, and a hot bath.” And she headed to the bathroom, turning on her CD player on the way. I was still dazed from my flash, perfectly happy to relive it over and over again.

It was really getting to me, this Nasedo thing. First, he tried to steal my little tad-poles from the South-pole. Then he decided he had to impersonate me and sleep in my bed and defile it, exercised free reign over my closet…meaning I would need a whole new set of bed sheets and clothes. But now that bastard was hurting Liz, and that was one thing I could not stand.

Bam!
A tiny plastic alien figurine on Liz’s desk somehow burst into a million tiny plastic fragments that floated through the air. What the-Did I do that?!

Exploding toys meant powers for sure, or else some other weird unidentified force was also gracing the little town of Roswell. Only one way to find out…

3 dead little plastic aliens later, I came to the conclusion that it was definitely me. And believe you me, if our invading enemy alien forces happened to be inch-high and plastic, they were toast, dog-form or not! Funny thing though, it was usually Michael that blew things up when he was angry…maybe just because he gets angry lots and very easily that’s why we just happen to notice. Before Liz could get out of the bathroom, I waved my paw over the dust to fix them. I’m not really sure if they turned out alright, they could have completely changed colour for all I know…

Right then, the strangest thing happened. And I don’t even mean alien strange, I mean something even weirder. Something that delves deep into the mysterious uncharted psyche of the human girl!!!

I was just fixing the little little green men, and making sure they had the right number of fingers and stuff, when the bathroom door flew open, right as the opening beats to a new song on the stereo started. Liz catapulted out, hairbrush in hand, wearing nothing but her underwear, crooning along “ I love myself! I want you to love me, when I feel down…”

This was madness. The girl had gone utterly bonkers. Not that I didn’t appreciate her jumping around on her bed with about as much covered up as a very small bikini could. But this was Liz. Good, sensible, practical Liz. Bouncing on her bed, crooning at the top of her slightly off-key lungs “ I touch myself”. I had always thought Blondie was more of a Maria thing, but who knew what sorts of things girls did alone in their rooms in the middle of the night? Oh right, me.

It was actually a beautiful sight… she was so happy, and carefree and mad and un-Liz-like, while remaining utterly and completely Liz at the same time, biting her lip lightly between lines, running her fingers through her hair. It was one glorious paradox, and I was one privileged puppy.

As soon as the song ended, she flopped down on her bed, exhausted.

“You think I’m completely nuts, don’t you?” she said, looking at me, and what must have been my stupendified expression. And with that, she clicked off the lights.