Roswell Fanatics

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Category: M/L; post-EotW
Summary: Liz attempts to tell Max the truth after Future Max vanishes.
Disclaimer: The characters of Roswell are the property of Twentieth Century Fox Television and Regency Productions. All original characters and concepts are the property of the author. No profit has been made from the distribution of this work of fiction.


Island of Hope

Liz spun toward the corner of her balcony, her hair whipping in front of her face as she continued to spin. Planting her left foot firmly onto the concrete after several twirls, she stopped, her hair temporarily obstructing her view but she didn’t need to see to know that he was gone. They had danced together in the moonlight, their wedding song beating a tempo through her brain; one moment she had been in his arms and now, she was alone.

I'm gonna be alone.

Maybe. Maybe not. From now on, the future is to be determined. It's what I've always said to you, Liz. We create our own destiny.

She felt her lip tremble and tears began to pool in her eyes. Blindly wiping her face with the back of her hand, she stumbled to the lounge chair and all but fell into it. An emptiness grew from the pit of her stomach and Liz wrapped her arms around her chest as her heart began to ache. “What have I done,” she murmured, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Pulling her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms tightly around her legs, resting her chin on her knees. His scent lingered in the air, wafting through her nasal passages over the aroma of her candles. She closed her eyes and felt his warm fingertips touch the nape of her neck, his hands expertly gliding down her spine to her waist, their bodies pressed tightly together as love flowed through their otherworldly connection.

She forced her eyes open, blinded by a fresh batch of tears, and she jerked herself to her feet. Like a caged animal, she weaved from side to side, her limbs shaking uncontrollably, desperate for some kind of resolve that she knew would not come tonight. Liz raised her head to the heavens and opened her mouth to scream but it caught in her throat. She dropped to her knees on the balcony, her hands clutching her throat, as she felt like she was choking from the burst of emotion in her chest, dying from a broken heart.

She couldn’t focus, couldn’t straighten her thought process except to realize that she had destroyed her life, and memories of Max’s hands and lips on her face and body plagued her mind. They were wishes of moments to come or moments never to happen, but some part of her heart couldn’t release the tiny ounce of hope that sputtered within her. She fell back against the edge of the lounge chair, wrapping her arms around her waist in a feeble attempt to gain control.

She had once chided Max for his need to always maintain control of the situation, that it was a complex he had and that he inflicted everyone around him with this complex. Now it was she who had allowed things to spiral out of control, and it was she who was fighting so desperately to regain it. Different scenarios played out in her head, how she could have been honest with Max in the beginning, how she could have thought of an alternative plan without involving Kyle, but the end result was the same: it was all her fault. She could not blame the misery and aching she felt on anyone other than herself. Standing up from her broken position on the ground, Liz decided she would again take the matter into her own hands, this time in an attempt to right herself in Max’s eyes.

* * *

As she had done almost three days earlier, Liz mentally rehearsed a speech while she walked from her house to Max’s. While her previous speech had been to push Max away, the speech she rehearsed in her mind was meant to confess her love to Max. She shivered against a cold breeze as she turned onto Murray, Max’s house in sight. Something propelled her forward toward Max’s house but she paused outside his window, her eyes bright with tears once again.

“Hope,” she whispered as she stepped into the light from Max’s bedroom window. “I just have to believe.”

It’s you I trust. It’s you I have faith in.

Bracing her hands against the abode-like bricks of the Evans home, Liz allowed the memory to wash over her. She felt Max’s hot breath against her face, his fingers lightly dusting at her hip. She closed her eyes as their kisses played like a movie to her mind’s eye. Each moment melded into another one, all of their moments together wonderfully unique.

“Liz?”

Liz opened her eyes, startled by Isabel’s appearance at Max’s window. “Isabel, hi. Is...is Max here?”

“No, he’s not. I thought he was taking you to a Gomez concert. Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“Oh,” Liz replied and stepped backwards into the shadows. “No, I...I’m fine. I’ll just try to find Max later. Thanks.” Without waiting for Isabel’s reply, Liz spun on her heels and walked away from the Evans home.

* * *

She walked aimlessly through the deserted streets, a full moon lighting her path. Her mind replayed the look of shock and confusion she had seen on Max’s face when he came to her room the night of the Gomez concert – the night that should have been theirs but instead he had seen Kyle in her bed. “I can make it right,” she mumbled aloud as she continued to walk. “I just need a chance.”

A low voice filled her ears and on instinct, Liz cowered behind a tree. She was at the edge of the park, the swings she had loved so much as a child in sight from her hiding place. A female voice made a reply and Liz cautiously craned her neck around the tree trunk. She inhaled sharply then brought her hand to her mouth as Max and Tess turned toward her, Tess dropping her hand from Max’s shoulder. Remaining perfectly still, she waited for several seconds until Max and Tess returned to their conversation. She darted behind trees in an effort to move closer to hear what they were discussing.

“I’m sure you misunderstood,” Tess began again as she leaned backwards against the park bench. “I can’t imagine -”

“I know what I saw,” Max argued and Liz felt her heart drop as she heard the unmistakable pain in his voice. “I saw them…together.”

“I’m just saying, Max -”

“I know what you’re saying but I know what I saw. I saw them, Liz and Kyle, together in Liz’s bed.”

“Did you talk to her? Have you talked to Liz? I…I can’t believe I’m even suggesting it but I think you should talk to her.”

“What if I don’t want to talk to her? What if I don’t want to see her?”

Liz heard Tess sigh and wondered if Tess would continue to encourage Max to find out the truth or if she would use the situation to her advantage. She held her breath while she waited for Tess to respond.

“There’s something…unusual going on, Max. First, Liz tries to push us together and then you find her in bed with Kyle. Don’t you see how that doesn’t add up? Liz loves you. Why would you want the person you love to be with someone else?”

Liz carefully backed away from her hiding spot, her mind reeling with thoughts of Tess and her critical place in Max’s life. She knew Max didn’t love Tess, certainly not like he loved her, but Max needed Tess in his life. The proof of that was just thrown in her face. Continuing to back away from Max and Tess, secretly hoping that Tess’s words made sense to Max, Liz didn’t notice the large tree root behind her. She fell to the ground with a loud thud, her eyes wide as Max and Tess noticed her presence.

“Liz?”

“Liz! Are you alright,” Max reached for her and without thinking Liz allowed him to touch her hand.

Do you know how hard it was for me to tell him that I didn't want to die for him? He's the only reason that I'm alive right now. You...you've...you gotta come up with another plan. Please go to someone else. I...I just...I can't do this anymore.

Just 25 minutes before I came here, I held Michael in my arms...dead. Isabel died 2 weeks before that. Now you have to do this. You have to find a way. All of our lives depend on it.

How? What can I do that's gonna make you turn away from me?

I don't know.

“Oh,” Liz whispered, scrambling to her feet, her hand still firmly in Max’s grasp. “Please, Max.” She pulled her hand away from him and with one last glance in Tess’s direction, she turned and ran away.


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Stay tuned for the companion/sequel entitled Led by Faith. It should be posted within the next 3 weeks.


JO