Roswell Fanatics

Okay, so I know that Rescue Me is on the back burner, and I'm already working on Providence and Hell + Bliss, but this story just came to me tonight. Literally.

Hope you like it. Since my other fics are so angsty, I decided to start a new one ... as sort of a outlet for my Dreamer side. You can only write so many heart breaking, angsty, dramatic scenes before you start losing your mind ... or stop writing all together. I desperately don't want to get burned out, so here we go...



Title: Something To Sleep To
Rating: TEEN, ADULT eventually
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot line, all else is Roswell.
Summary: No aliens. Max's life changes and he searches for "Something To Sleep To." In other words ... Liz. He'll find her, don't worry. How soon will be determined.

By the way, if this title is already taken by another author, let me know. I'll change it - not biggie.

Let me know what you think. The updates might not be very regular, I'm not sure how my schedule is going to be. But I will update as often as I can. Feedback will let me know if you like it or not. If no one shows interest ... say goodbye.

Thank you to Lilac Stardust for the great banner!!!



Something To Sleep To
Michelle Branch

She's his yellow brick road
Leading him on and letting him go
As far as she let’s him go
Going down to nowhere

She puts on her make-up
The same way she did yesterday
Hoping everything's the same
But everything has changed

In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes; I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
At night

He wakes up to the sound
So scared that she's leaving
He wishes she were still asleep next to him
Hoping she will change

In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes; I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
At night

You give me something to sleep to
And all I know is
You give me something to dream to
When I'm all alone and blue
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now

Don't leave me now; don't leave me now
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now; don't leave me now
Don't leave me now

(In my mind) In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes; I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
Something to sleep to
Something to sleep to at night

You give me something to sleep to
Something to sleep to at night






Part 1A

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Max sat dumbfounded in his chair. His eyes the size of large saucers, glazed over in astonishment at his parents’ words. Surely what he was hearing couldn’t possibly be true.

It was a joke, some cruel joke. It had to be.

Nothing like this every happened to him. He was never that lucky.

He had always worked hard for everything he had. His parents were not well off, often struggling to make ends meet.

He could recount numerous nights where he and Isabel spent the night alone at home while their parents traveled from Hondo to Roswell, and back again. The two of them had grown incredibly close, wanting their parents home but knowing that they couldn’t be so selfish.

Philip and Diane were doing what was best for them. And they loved them for it.

They were lawyers, with their own firm.

But business was slow in the quiet town of Roswell. Quite often they had few if any cases to work on, having to travel to other towns, like Hondo, to find clients.

There were rarely bitter custody battles or lofty divorce settlements that would bring their small firm a large sum of income.

Family law was supposed to hold such promise and opportunity, but for the first twenty-four years of Max’s life, he had watched his parents make do, often just barely.

It had been hard, especially when his older sister Isabel got the opportunity to attend a private school out of state.

The only reason she had been able to go was because of her scholarship. The Evans family made just enough for either of their children to not qualify for financial aide, but both Isabel and Max had impeccable grades.

Isabel attended Whindsor Academy for high school, and then traveled to UCLA for college. All on an academic scholarships and grants.

Max was much the same. He wanted to follow in his parents’ footsteps, and decided to go to law school.

But it had proved quite difficult.

His parents could contribute only a fraction of what he needed to live on.

Every weekend, he was found studying for tests for his pre-law classes at UNM while working nights at a local bar.

Often, his boss Nick would find a textbook in Max’s hand, his eyes struggling to read the legal jargon under the strobe light, while pouring a mix drink for a patron. Max had never gotten an order mixed up, so Nick said nothing.

As long as his customers were satisfied, so was he.

But Max had done well. Quite well in fact, considering he had been accepted into Harvard Law School with honors, and a full academic scholarship. That is, as long as he maintained a grade point average of at least 3.85.

As many other things in his life, it had been hard, but he had done it.

He had graduated from Harvard Law.

And just as he was about to surprise his parents and Isabel with his news of starting a practice in Albuquerque, they surprise him.

He shifted his gaze to his equally astounded sister who sat next to him at the kitchen table.

They shared a disbelieving look, and then turned to Diane and Philip again.

Isabel’s mouth moved inaudibly. So many questions were wreaking havoc on her brain; she couldn’t voice them all at once, so nothing came out. Her voice simply refused to cooperate.

Max sat for a moment pondering their words.

“Max, what are you thinking son?” Philip asked a little worried after long moments of silence. This was good news, why did his son look so … scared?

“Um … well, I …” he nervously laughed as he stumbled over his words. “I’m not sure what to say. What do you say to something like that?”

“Are you sure?” Isabel asked. “This isn’t some fluke, or a mistake or something? I mean … Grandpa never mentioned this before.”

“No, we’re serious. Its all right here in black and white.” Philip slid the legal document across the table to his two children, inwardly smiling.

Max looked at the document, skimming for confirmation. Yes, it was right there … in black and white.

He looked at Isabel, who sat waiting for his reaction. He nodded to her, still bewildered himself, and her shoulders sagged in relief.

“Oh my God,” she said in a teary voice. Her voice and shoulders shook with emotion, and she brought her hand up to her mouth. “I never would have thought …”

“I know,” Max said. “I know.”

“Honey,” Diane said. “This is good news.”

Isabel nodded.

“I know. Its just … nothing like this had ever happened before.”

Philip smiled.

“We know. That’s why we’re so happy for the both of you. You both deserve this so much.”

“How long have you known about this?” Max asked quietly.

Diane and Philip shared a look.

“A few years now. We didn’t say anything because Grandpa didn’t want us to. But when he asked us to prepare his will … well, it was rather difficult to not find out.”

Diane sighed.

“Sweety, we know that you’ve both have had to work so hard for so long. And … your father and I have tried to make your lives as good as we could –”

“You did Mom,” Max interrupted. “I would never ask for another life.” He looked down at the legal document that he still clutched in his hands, and said, “It looks like I got one anyway.”

How ironic, he thought.

“This doesn’t change anything, son,” Philip said. “You are still our son.” He looked at Isabel, “And you are still our daughter … just with one minor change.”

“MINOR?!” Isabel and Max shouted with smiles on their faces.

“How can you say this is minor, Dad? This is a MAJOR change in our lives. I mean … everything is different now,” she finished quietly.

His father laughed, and Diane squeezed her daughter’s hand lovingly.

“I suppose you’re right.”

Philip eyed his son carefully for a moment.

“So I supposed this means you’re going to accept the offer?”

Isabel and Max both laughed.

“How can we not?”

“Well,” Diane said with a smile, “Fifteen million dollars split between the two of you is a lot to accept.”

“I think we’ll find a way,” Max said.

“Yeah. I guess I don’t have to keep saving my money for that BMW that I’ve had my eye on.” She shook her head in amazement. “Jesus, I could buy the whole friggin’ lot.”

“No more debts, no more struggling, no more worrying about making the house payment.”

“Son, we are not asking you … or expecting either of you to give us any of the money. It’s yours, all of it. That’s what your grandfather wanted.”

Isabel and Max shared a look.

“You can’t honestly think that we’re going to let you struggle while we’re jetting off to Jamaica and buying Versace suites, do you? No, no, no. We will make sure that you are well taken care of,” Isabel said happily.

“In fact,” Max said as he scratched his chin in thought and let his gaze stretch the length of the small kitchen. “This house is just far too small for my liking. I say we buy a new one.” He turned to Isabel, with a knowing smile. “On Oak Street.”

“Oak Street?! Do you know how expensive those houses are? They’re not even houses, their mansions, Max. That’s the last thing this family needs, is a mansion.”

He smiled at his mother’s response. He knew she would just relish in the prospect of not working, staying home and making her new ‘mansion’ a wonderful, beautiful home for her family. For her future grandchildren to come to for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Someday, he thought. Hopefully someday soon.

Yes, a ‘mansion’ on Oak Street was just the thing they needed.

Isabel nodded, and smiled at her mother ... and father, who at the present moment was sitting quietly with his jaw in his lap.

“I think you’re right Max,” she said. “Oak Street it is.”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC ... Let me know what you think!!!


~ Sarah

I have to tell you guys, you have quite an imagination!

So many of you thought there was going to be a clause in the will, some kind of hook in the end, that could prevent Max and Isabel from getting the money. Tsk tsk tsk. You think too much!

This is all FLUFF, read and find out ... ENJOY!!




Part 1B

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One year later …

It had taken several months, but the Evanses were finally settled in their new home: 5252 Oak Street. The biggest house on the street.

The move hade proved somewhat troublesome at first. They had invested money in fixing their current home up for the realty market, but after some discussion, they had decided to rent it out instead. After all, it held so many memories for the small family; they simply couldn’t part with the little house permanently.

A renter was found, and then Max and his father went about buying their new home. It wasn’t difficult to decide. The house had just recently gone on the market, and with the Marshall’s moving out of state and wanting to settle quickly, the Evanses had actually gotten a rather nice deal.

5252 Oak Street was now the Evans Estate.

There had been rumors around the small town about the new money the Evans children had suddenly come into. Some questioned if they had won the lottery, or stolen the money in some bank heist. Max had to laugh at that one.

He had never really divulged in gossip, so he left it alone, instead letting the rumors die a ‘natural’ death as the locals of Roswell finally accepted their newfound status.

It was amazing how much easier their lives were with money. They had always been happy, their close-knit family offering solitude and comfort. And they still had that … just with lots of money.

Lots and lots of money.

After one year, and investing their millions in smart, strong stocks, Isabel and Max Evans were now worth more than twenty million dollars – combined worth, of course.

Needless to say, the available, and even not so available, men and women of Roswell were flocking to the two single millionaires.

Max never really had gotten around to opening his own practice like he had planned. Isabel never went to Prague to study abroad like she had planned. The two siblings paid off their student loans, bought their parents new cars of his and her choice, and after the property debate, they finally moved into their new home, with Isabel inhabiting the large upper guest room with an adjoining bathroom, and Max taking up residence in the guest house. Philip and Diane took the large, master bedroom on the lower level.

The estate was exquisite; a large pool with waterfalls and beautiful landscaping adorned the views of the bedrooms. Marcus, an aging man that had lived in Roswell all his life, attended to the grounds. Large trees adorned the large fields surrounding the home, and there was even a gate at the end of their driveway, with a sign displaying ‘Evans Estate.’

It was everything that they could have dreamed of.

“Dad?” Max asked carefully, knocking softly of the doorframe of his father’s office.

Philip looked up from his newest clients’ case, and said, “Max, come in.” He closed the folder, and took off his glasses.

“I’m not interrupting am I?”

“No, no. Not at all. I’m glad you’re here.”

Max nodded.

“Mom said you wanted to see me.”

Philip smiled, and said, “Max, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” He got up from his plush, leather chair and walked around his desk to sit casually on his desk in front of Max.

“How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?”

Philip nodded.

“I’m kinda tired,” Max answered with an embarrassed smile. “I mean, with everything happening this past year, I’m pretty exhausted. It was really stressful getting everything settled after the will, and then renting out the house, and buying this one … it was a lot all at once, you know?”

Philip nodded.

“Yeah, I know.” Philip eyed his son. “Max, your mother and I have talked, and … we both agree that you deserve – and need – some time off. To just relax. Would you agree?”

Max gave his father a perplexed look, wondering where he was going with this, but nodded in agreement.

“Good,” Philip said with a smile on his face. He rounded the desk and, after sitting down, pulled a manila folder from a drawer. He handed the folder to Max. “Here.”

Max took the folder, wondering just what his father was giving him now. Last time he had sprung something like this, Max ended up a millionaire. What could this folder possibly offer him?

A supermodel wife?

A free trip to outer space?

That Ferrari that he had wanted since he was thirteen?

He opened it carefully, and tilting it up slightly, a key landed on his right hand.

Max gave his father a confused look.

Philip laughed at his son’s reaction. “That is a key to an SUV we bought for you.”

“What?”

“Yes, that’s right. We bought you something. Parents are allowed to do that, remember? I know its no Ferrari, but we thought it would come in handy on your trip.”

Max’s head shot up. “Trip?”

“Yeah, a trip. Mom and I talked … we both feel like you would benefit from a vacation. Like an extended road trip across the country. Lord knows you’ve earned it with all your hard work. What do you say?”

Max shook his head in confusion.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

Philip sighed, with a smile on his face.

“Max, we want you to enjoy yourself for a while. Get out there and see the world. Go from town to town and meet people, interact with them, get to know them. Take a job here and there … date here and there … get to know yourself again. You know, this past year has changed you … you and Isabel. You two aren’t young, headstrong, struggling students anymore. You’re not in college anymore. You’re adults with everything at your fingertips. Your mother and I just feel that a little world experience would do you good. What do you think?”

Max sat in his chair staring at his father in astonishment, and then eyed the key in his hand.

“You bought me a car?”

Philip laughed.

“Yes, we bought you a car. It’s in the garage waiting for you, too. Is that a ‘yes’?”

Max slowly nodded his head in agreement.

“I think you’re right. I need to get out of Roswell for a while. Now that you and Mom are comfortable, I’d like to see what’s out there waiting for me.”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC ... Kinda short, I know. But more will follow soon.

Here is the long awaited update of this fic. I was feeling upbeat for a change. Hope you all like it, and thank you to Lilac Stardust for the beautiful banner.


Feels Like Home
Chantal Kreviazuk

Something in your eyes makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself in your arms
There's something in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the dark, there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong



Part 2

~*~*~*~*~*~

Welcome to St. Louis, Missouri. Gateway to the West.

Max read the sign as he drove his 2004 Trailblazer over the Poplar Street Bridge. The Mississippi River stretched and shimmered in the midday sunlight and the traffic was light but steady as he continued his trek west back home to Roswell.

Over the past nine months he had met so many interesting people, experienced a million different sensations. He had definitely grown; he wasn’t the same Max that left Roswell back in October.

After years of struggling through school and part times jobs to stay afloat, he was finally free of any financial burden. He was free from the life he once had in his hometown. Every possibility was laid out for him. Now, he could start over anywhere in the world, and make his family happy.

But that was the problem. He didn’t have family of his own. The only family he had was in Roswell.

It didn’t matter how many people he met or how many women he dated, he was still alone. And he was tired of it. The endless miles across the country only emphasized that.

Despite the fact that it was one o’clock in the afternoon, Max was feeling fatigued and knew he would need to find a place to stay for the next few days.

He took the next exit he neared, leading him to the suburb of Crestwood.

He meandered through the community and found a Holiday Inn. He parked quickly and opened the driver’s side door to rent a room for the week.

The Midwestern atmosphere was so much different than Roswell. He grew up use to the desert, arid climate. While in college at Harvard, he grew accustom to the wintry, blizzard-like conditions. On his nine-month road trip, he had traveled to the tropical climate of Florida and the constant rain of Seattle. From New York to Virginia Beach. Even if he hadn’t taken to the differing climates right away, he always seemed to adjust.

Here in St. Louis in mid July, it was just plain awful.

It was hot. Scorching hot. The external thermometer on his dashboard had read 104° F.

But living in the desert, he was use to hot.

He was not use to humid.

The air was heavy with the moisture. His body felt leaden, and his lungs struggled to take in a breath. Within seconds he was sweating bullets and nearly out of breath. Why would anyone willingly live like this? he thought.

He entered the lobby of the hotel and the air-conditioning hit him. Goosebumps rose on his skin from the drastic temperature change.

The radio overhead played music from a local, underground band. The attendant was friendly, smiling a million-dollar smile and showering Max with good ole fashioned Midwest hospitality.

Soon Max had his key and, after retrieving his bag, entered the elevator and rose to his suite.

It was similar to the many other rooms he had stayed in. Nothing special, but certainly better than sleeping in his SUV, which he had done when camping in Yosemite National Park. He wasn’t planning on doing that again, especially in this heat. He’d suffocate.

He dumped his bag on his bed, changed into a more suitable set of clothes, and grabbed his cell phone to call home.

After three rings, his mother answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi Mom.”

He could hear her grin threw the phone. “Max! How are you? Where are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m in St. Louis.”

“Is it nice?”

Is it nice? Max grinned to himself.

His mother was always so complacent. He knew she was disappointed he wouldn’t be home for his birthday, but she didn’t mention it. She was just happy that he was happy. She was the perfect mother.

“Yes, its nice. Hot, but nice.” He laid down heavily on his king size bed and closed his eyes in exhaustion.

“Max, you’ve lived in the desert for half your life, and you’re complaining about the heat?”

“Yes,” he said with a smile. “Its too hot.”

He heard her laughter.

“Well, how long will you be there?”

“Probably a week. How’s Dad and Isabel?”

“They’re both good. Isabel went a little crazy buying your birthday presents. The living room is filled.”

“What’d she get me?”

“Oh no. I’m not telling,” she said. “A little incentive to come home.”

“Alright, alright. I promise, I’ll be home soon.”

Diane sighed, missing her son more than she’d like to admit. Even if he would be turning twenty-six in just a few days, he would always be her little boy.

“Tell Dad and Isabel I love them.”

“I will. Be careful Max. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” He hung up and set the cell phone on the nightstand to charge. Usually his mother kept him on the phone much longer than a few minutes.

She must have a meeting with a client, he thought.

The hotel room was quiet, and Max found himself wanting to see some of St. Louis, even if he stayed in the suburb of Crestwood for the time being. It was much too hot outside to be wandering very far. He would wait until nightfall to do any serious sightseeing.

He grabbed his wallet and room key and descended the elevator to the lobby and inquired about any nearby local restaurants.

The same attendant as before informed him that a Gateway Café was just down the block on the right.

His stomach grumbled in anticipation of a good meal.

The same wall of heat hit him as Max exited the lobby. He contemplated taking his car just so he could escape the boiling temperature, but he could see the café from the parking lot of the hotel, and decided against it.

The sidewalk was deserted, most people content to sit in the air conditioning in their vehicles. Max braved the short walk and welcomed the cool atmosphere of the café and quickly sat in a nearby booth studying the menu in front of him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Liz, is Maria here yet?”

Liz looked up from her position at the soda machine to answer her father.

“I haven’t seen her. You want me to check the locker room?”

She saw Jeff nod in agreement, and she quickly finished refilling the drink in front of her, and then walked to the back of the café.

Liz walked into the break room through a set of swinging doors and turned left towards the women’s locker room.

“Maria?” she called through the door.

When no one answered, she opened the door and found a half dressed Maria struggling with her zipper.

“Hey. What’re you doing?”

“This damn thing won’t unzip!” she said. Her words were muffled through her clothes that were half way around her face.

Liz laughed lightly as she helped her friend dress herself.

“Here, it’s stuck. Hold on.” She was able to unzip Maria’s zipper on her dress, and the blonde’s head came free.

“Oh thank God. I thought I was gonna suffocate.”

“You better hurry. You’re late for you’re shift.”

Maria’s worried look turned to Liz. “Is your dad mad?”

Liz shook her head. “No. It’s just getting busy.”

Maria nodded and she pulled her shirt over her head. “Okay, I’m almost done. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Liz nodded absently and went to the front of the café again.

She noticed her section of tables was full, now that table sixteen had an occupant.

What was it about the heat that made everyone want to eat? Couldn’t they go home and make a sandwich? No, they all had to come here to eat.

Her muscles ached from overuse, and her shift wasn’t even half over yet. She was so tired of being tired.

Liz sighed softly and made her way slowly through the full tables, refilling ice tea and sodas. Everything seemed in order, so she headed for table sixteen to take his order.

“Welcome to the Gateway Café. Can I take you’re order?”

Max looked up when he heard her voice, and sucked in a breath.

She was beautiful. Dark, chocolate brown hair that hung like satin fell loosely around her shoulders. Her eyes were deep and full, shimmering with the color of her hair. Her turquoise uniform fit her curves perfectly; the dress hugged her slim waist and stopped just short of her knees. Her silver apron only accentuated her flawless petite figure.

Liz watched the young man in front of her carefully. He was gorgeous, she couldn’t help but notice. His hair fell across his forehead and his eyes were so inviting she forgot where she was for a moment.

But he was so out of her league. His was dressed nicely, she could tell his clothes were brand new and quite expensive.

She suddenly found herself very inadequate donning the restaurants silly turquoise uniform. Why did her father insist on them when he knew how ridiculous the waitresses looked?

Several incredibly erotic fantasies of them together roamed freely in her head, and it took a few moments to squash them.

After several moments of silence, she prompted again, “Do you need a few more minutes?”

He cleared his throat that was suddenly parched. “Um, no. I’ll just have a cherry coke and the Arch Deluxe Bacon Cheeseburger.”

She nodded and wrote his order on her order pad.

“How would you like that cooked?”

He stumbled over his words. “Uh … um, me-medium?”

She bit her lip to try and hide her smile.

“Would you like fries with that?”

He watched her form the words on her lips, and completely missed what she said. Her lips were so full and rosy and perfect for kissing and …

“Um … sir?”

“Wha-What did you say?”

“Fries? Would you like fries with your burger?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.”

She nodded and said, “Okay. I have a glass of cherry coke and an Arch Deluxe cheeseburger cooked medium with fries on the side. Is there anything else?”

Would you go out with me tonight? he found himself wanting to say. But it sounded so lame and stupid. Way too high school.

Instead, he just shook his head.

“Okay. Well, if you need anything, my name’s Liz. I’ll be right back with your drink.”

Here's the lastest update. I put a lot of St. Louis stuff in it. Half of it you guys probably won't even know, but I couldn't help smile everytime I read it. Its nice having a small St. Louis tribute.

I'm really starting to like writing this fic. Let me know what you think - Feedback please.

~Sarah


Strawberry Wine
Deana Carter

He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for knowledge and he had a car

I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
It's funny how those memories they last

Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love, oh bittersweet
The green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

I still remember when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September when he had to go

A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste

Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love, oh bittersweet
The green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen the plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much

Strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love, oh bittersweet
The green on the vine
Like strawberry wine



Part 3

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

He looked up as she set his drink in front of him. Liz. Her beauty caused him to stumble over his words not for the first time that day.

“Um, well I – I’m originally from … New Mexico.” He took a deep breath and swallowed hard, hoping he didn’t sound completely insane or stupid or both.

Liz just nodded.

They got a lot of tourists in the Gateway Café. St. Louis attracted vacationers year-round with attractions like The Arch, Meramec Caverns and Jesse James, Anheuser Busch, the Cardinals and Rams, and Six Flags.

She’d seen a lot of people come and go. But she never saw anyone quite so attractive as …

“What’s your name, again?”

Max stared at her with big eyes. She was asking his name?!

“M-Max. Max Evans.”

She smiled that smile that made him grin like a fool. “Nice to meet you, Max Evans.”

Liz offered her hand, and he was helpless not to take it.

“You too, Liz…”

“Parker,” she finished.

“Liz Parker.” He looked away and cleared his throat before he became completely lost in her again. God, he was insane and stupid. “So, how could you tell?”

“That you’re not a local?”

He nodded.

“Well, for one, you looked at the menu.” He gave her a curious look. “Everyone around here knows the menu by heart. It’s all St. Louis themed. Arch Deluxe cheeseburgers, Cardinal’s Nest salads, Six Flag Flapjacks, Riverfront Lemonade…”

He gave a laugh. “Yeah, I have to say, the menu kinda shocked me. But back home, it’s the same thing.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m from Roswell, Alien Capital of the World. Everything is alien themed.” Max took a look around the restaurant. “I have to say, this is much more appetizing. Little green men with big black eyes painted on the walls and drinks like Blood of Alien Smoothie kinda kill the appetite.”

Liz laughed, and he noticed how her eyes sparkled and her chin wrinkled, and he couldn’t help but laugh with her.

She left soon after to check on her other customers, but he watched her with every step she took. She was graceful and sure, confident but inviting. He caught her eye, and they smiled simultaneously.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, who’s the hunk?”

Liz skirted her eyes quickly to Maria, then to Max, and then back to Maria.

She feigned any knowledge. “Who … who are you talking about?”

Maria rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please! You’ve only been undressing him with your eyes for the past fifteen minutes.”

Liz blushed. It was true. She had been stealing glances, wondering what the very sexy Max Evans from Roswell, New Mexico was hiding underneath his expensive outfit. She could tell he worked out. His biceps strained against his shirtsleeves.

She fanned herself with her right hand. Was it hot in here?

She and Maria stood at the soda machine refilling drinks and preparing smoothies. To Liz’s right was the kitchen with the pass-thru window. To her left was the café with nearly forty tables, all of them full. They had five waitresses and two busboys working today, all of them busy. There were tables outside on the patio, but no one was sitting out there. The heat index was nearly 115° F.

The front wall of the café was window, and she could see several people at the gas station and car wash across the street dutifully washing their vehicles. The weekend was coming up, and Liz knew a lot of families would be traveling to the lake with their boats and loved ones. It had been a while since she had been able to get away.

She wished she could go swimming in the cool, blue water of Table Rock Lake. She wished she could go camping at Johnson’s Shut Ins with her dad. She wished she could go shopping with Maria at the Galleria, and then have dinner at Blue Water Grill with her mother.

She wished a lot of things.

“What’s his name?”

Liz whispered back, “Max.” She turned to face Maria and every so often turned casually to steal a glance at him as he sipped his drink. She so didn’t want him to know she was talking about him. “He’s from New Mexico. I guess he’s just passing through.”

“Wow,” Maria whispered back. She looked at Max over Liz’s left shoulder. “Too bad. We could use some eye candy like that around here. I sure wouldn’t be late to work if we did.”

They shared a knowing smile.

“You know, he’s been staring at you.”

Liz rolled her eyes. “Maria, that is so in your imagination. And even if he was, what am I gonna do about it? I mean, he’s a tourist.”

“So what if he’s a tourist? Who says you can’t have some fun?” she asked as she walked off suddenly to her section.

Liz looked at her curiously and followed with her Riverfront Lemonade in hand and quickly delivered it to table seven. “What are you suggesting? That I have a … a … a fling, or something?!”

Maria shrugged. “Why not?” She dropped off a drink to table twenty with a smile.

Liz grabbed a water pitcher when she noticed her father walk into the café. Might as well look busy when you’re gossiping with your best friend.

They had become pretty good at it over the years: having important, secret, best friend discussions in front of dozens of people. Topics like grades and boys and sex and even choice contraceptives were anything but forbidden subject material. Besides, there hadn’t been a complaint yet. Most people were just glad to see their food that they tuned everything else out.

“Maria, that is ridiculous. I mean … I’m not that kind of girl.” She refilled a glass of water and placed four straws down at table twelve.

“What kind of girl would that be, Liz? Are you done with that?” she asked the patron at table eighteen, and took the empty plate from her.

“The kind of girl that has casual sex with some random guy and then moves on like it was no big deal. How was your meal today?” The little girl at table eight smiled a big chocolate smile. The Super Bowl o’ Dirt desserts were always a kick with the kids. They loved the gummies worms and chocolate pudding.

“Like we’re big experts in the sex department.” Maria wiped off table twenty-one with a wet cloth and Matt, the busboy, did the rest. He was doing a good job today, Maria noticed. She would have to remember to give him a little extra in his tip at the end of their shift.

“And this is not the time to start learning.”

“Hey, you’re the one who brought up sex, not me.” Maria looked at her pointedly.

The bell sounded and she went to the pass-thru window to pick up her order for table ten. Liz picked up table sixteen’s order, Max’s order. Maria dropped off the dirty dishes in the bus stand underneath the counter and grabbed a towel to carry the hot plates better.

She called out to the cook, “Thanks Jose,” who in turn gave her a salute. “When was the last time you were on a date anyway?”

Liz absently chewed on a fry from the plate in her hand. “What does that matter?”

“How long?” Maria asked again, as she moved through the throng of occupied tables.

“Two months,” came the mumbled answer.

“My point exactly.”

“Hey,” Liz put her right hand on her hip and held the plate on her left. “So I don’t date that much, big deal. Maybe I don’t see the point.”

“Here you go, one Cardinal’s Nest and one Flaming Frontenac Fajita. What point are you trying to see?” she asked Liz, as she once again refilled drinks around her.

Liz sighed. “I got hurt last time. Really hurt. Why would I want to put myself through that again? Its pointless.”

“No, its not.” Maria stopped in the middle of the café and pointed her finger at Liz. “You’re scared, Liz Parker. Admit it. You’re scared because you think that every guy out there is another Kyle Valenti, waiting to crush your heart and take your virginity. Am I right?”

Liz could only nod.

“It’s not going to happen again. First of all, that guy over there,” she pointed to Max. “He can’t take your virginity, ‘cause you already lost that. And he’s only going to crush your heart if you let him.” Liz looked up and Maria continued. “But I also know that this Max has been staring at you like a puppy dog for the past twenty minutes. Just … offer to give him a tour or something. Because I swear, if you live in this box that you’ve built around yourself any longer, you’re gonna wither away.” She cupped Liz’s cheeks with her hands. “I can’t let that happen.”

She saw how Liz contemplated her words, and smiled inwardly. It was about time they got Lizzie Parker back. Maria grabbed a fry for herself and chewed quickly.

“Now give Max his meal before we eat it all.”

Liz walked through the maze of tables in the café. Maybe she could start over. She had to admit, she hadn’t been very happy lately. Kyle had done a number on her. A part of her wanted to hide herself forever. Another part wanted to search him out and get her revenge. And there was another part of her. A little voice encouraging her to move on. At the moment, that voice was sounding a lot like Maria Deluca, but it was there just the same.

Max noticed her nearing right away, and straightened in his seat at his booth.

“Hey,” he said softly with a smile.

“Hi.” She set his plate on the table in front of him. “That’s one Arch Deluxe Bacon Cheeseburger with fries. Is there anything else I can get you?”

“Um … could I get some Tabasco sauce?”

“Sure.” She left and returned quickly with the hot sauce and a refill of his soft drink. “Here ya go.”

He smiled his thanks, and she noticed how his cheeks dimpled in the corners. Her eyes were drawn to his hair, and she noted how it curled at the base of his neck and fanned across his forehead. His eyes were intense and probing, and his right leg bounced nervously underneath the table.

Max Evans was the polar opposite of Kyle Valenti in every way, she realized.

Max was tall, dark, and extremely handsome. Kyle was short, blonde, and had a lot of … character, in his face.

Max was quiet and even shy. Kyle was loud, obnoxious, and never showed inhibition.

Max was mysterious and oh so tempting. Kyle was an open book of beer bashes and dirty jokes.

What had she seen in Kyle, anyway? Suddenly she couldn’t remember. And she didn’t care anymore.

“Max?”

He looked up suddenly, with a fry in his fingers stopping just short of his lips. His eyebrows rose in question.

“How long are you going to be in town?”

Max pulled the fry away from his face and said, “About a week. I want to look up a college friend of mine. See some of the sites. Then drive home to see my family.”

She nodded, and then took a moment to convince herself she wasn’t completely insane before she asked, “Do you have anything planned for tonight?”

He shook his head numbly. Was she … no, she wasn’t asking him out on a date … was she?

“Well, would you like to get dinner? With me?”

Oh God. She was!

Suddenly, neither one of them could breathe. She toyed with her fingers, nervously awaiting his answer. It took him a minute to even understand what she had said, and even longer to figure out what to say back.

But the delayed response only crumpled her confidence, taking his hesitation as a rejection.

She hastily replied, “I mean, it was just an idea. If you’d rather spend the night alone, I completely understand. You’re … you’re probably really tired from the drive and–”

“I’d love to get dinner with you,” he finally managed to say.

She looked up quickly. “Really?”

Max nodded emphatically. “Uh huh.” When he saw her smile, he added, “What time?”

Liz couldn’t stop smiling. She looked at her watch and noted that her shift ended in about two hours. “How about at seven? Is that too early?” That way, she would have plenty of time to get ready and get rid of any nervous butterflies in her stomach. She could only hope.

“No, that’s perfect.”

“Great.” She smiled that special smile, and he noticed that her chin wrinkled and her eyes sparkled again. God, he loved that smile. “You can just pick me up outside.” She pointed to the front of the café. “I live in the apartment upstairs, and after dark its cool enough to walk. We won’t need a car.”

“Okay. Great.”

“Yeah.” They stared at each without even realizing, until a crashing sound came from the kitchen along with a muffled curse.

Liz turned towards the kitchen and saw her father helping Josh, another busboy, clean up a mess of broken dishes and half-eaten food.

“I better get back to work. Let me know if you need anything else.” They gave each other a lasting look before she walked away to check on her other tables.

Liz caught Maria’s eye and smiled with a nodded. Her friend winked back with a smile of her own.

Maria was right, Liz decided. It was time Liz Parker got out from behind her tree and started living again.



TBC ...

Here's the update. Don't kill me either! Try to enjoy.


~Sarah

This Kiss
Faith Hill

It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me

I don't want another heartbreak
I don't need another turn to cry
I don't want to learn the hard way
Baby hello, oh no, goodbye
But you got me like a rocket
Shooting straight across the sky

It' s the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's (ah) impossible
This kiss, this kiss
Unstoppable
This kiss, this kiss

Cinderella said to Snow White
"How does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby I'm forever yours"

It' s the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's (ah) unthinkable
This kiss, this kiss
Unsinkable
This kiss, this kiss

It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me

You can kiss me in the moonlight
On the rooftop under the sky, oh
You can kiss me with the windows open
While the rain comes pourin' inside, oh
Kiss me in sweet slow motion
Let's let everything slide
You got me floatin'
You got me flyin'

It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me

It' s the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's (ah) subliminal
This kiss, this kiss
It's criminal

It' s the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's (ah) subliminal
This kiss, this kiss

It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me
It's the way you love me

Part 4

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Liz stood on the sidewalk of the Gateway Café, waiting for her date to show. It was only 6:45, but she had been ready nearly an hour early even after being grilled by her parents. Now she finally stood outside waiting to have a night of fun, for a change.

She still couldn’t believe that Max had said yes. She couldn’t believe she had actually asked him. Why would a guy like him want to go out with a girl like her? It was obvious he was so out of her league, if the twenty-dollar tip he had left her was any indication. That was by far the best tip she had ever gotten, and the smile he had given her as he left still made her secretly grin.

When she told her parents that she had a date for tonight, Nancy had needless to say been less than thrilled. She and Jeff knew all about Liz’s misfortune with Kyle nearly two years ago. So did the entire town. It was hard not to.

But after several minutes of lectures and a small, embarrassing pep talk of safe sex, Liz had dressed and primped, with Maria’s help of course. She had decided on a red halter top with thin straps that hugged her shoulders, a tan skirt, and simple brown sandals. Her makeup was simple, and her hair was down around her shoulders. Her full lips glimmered in the evening’s sunset with a rosy lip-gloss. She had kissed her small family goodbye for the night and waited nervously for Max to show.

She knew very little about him, and if it had been any other person, Liz would have been hesitant to even consider a date, let alone suggest one. But there was something about Max Evans. Maybe it was because he wasn’t arrogant and conceited. Max wasn’t overly confident and was even bashful when they had spoken at lunch. She had noticed his cheeks blushed every time she complimented him or engaged him in conversation.

Liz had a reputation of being drawn to the wrong type of guy. First, it was Maria’s delinquent cousin Sean, who was now serving five to ten in prison for possession with intent to distribute and violating his parole. He had oozed the bad-boy image. Liz, being valedictorian at the time, had later claimed temporary insanity during their three-month courtship. The short time they were together only proved to her that she wanted something more. She went on to finish in the top ten percentage of her class.

Then came Kyle, and at twenty she had been awed by his popularity and confidence. He was the epitome of the college jock, and the fact that he had actively sought her out their sophomore year in college at St. Louis University astonished not only her, but their entire school. Why would Mr. Popular ask out Super Science Geek? Neither of the relationships lasted very long and both had left Liz to pick up the pieces.

Would Max break her heart too? Would he use her and abuse her like Sean and Kyle?

Granted, she had asked him out, and truthfully, it felt good to take the initiative for once, to be the predator instead of the prey.

Maybe this time would be different, she hoped. Maybe this time, even if for only a few days, she had someone in her life besides her family that cared about her.

“Hey there,” she heard to her left. Liz turned quickly, coming out of her reverie, and found Max staring down at her with a grin on his face.

She took a quick inventory of him, because she couldn’t help herself. He wore a pair of tan dress pants that hung low on his hips, and a white dress shirt that he had rolled up at the sleeves. His brown belt and shoes coordinated nicely with her outfit, she realized. His hair was still wet from his shower, and he wrung his hands together in nervousness.

Liz smiled up at him, and said, “Hi.” She took a quick look at her watch. “Right on time.”

“My father always told me to never leave a beautiful woman waiting. I was a quick study.”

She blushed a light pink and ducked her head. It had been a long time since someone had called her beautiful and meant it. Her father told her every day, but he didn’t count.

Max desperately wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but he also didn’t want to overstep the invisible borders that were around them. This was very much a blind date. They knew next to nothing about each other and had only talked briefly in the restaurant at lunch. The last thing he wanted was to start off the date on the wrong foot. But he had so much nervous energy running through his veins, he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.

“Do you know where we’re going?” he asked finally, after another staring session.

“Um, there … there’s this really great restaurant just a couple of blocks away. The Blue Water Grill.”

They fell into a comfortable pace down the sidewalk, with families passing them and small children playing. The street wasn’t too busy this time of night, and traffic was light.

“It can’t be better than the Gateway,” he joked. “Because they have the best food I’ve ever tasted.”

She laughed softly. “Just wait until you’ve tried their Cornmeal Encrusted Snapper. Its to die for.”

There was a brief moment of silence as each tried to decide what to talk about next.

“So, how long have you worked at the Gateway Café?”

“Since I was sixteen.”

“Wow. That’s a long time.”

“Well,” she explained. “My parents own the restaurant. So it was only natural that I worked there. And now, I’m so use to working there that it’s hard imagining working somewhere else.”

He nodded.

“You must like it then, if you’ve worked there for … how many years?”

“Six years. It’s fun working with your friends, because it doesn’t feel so much like work. Its like you’re just hanging out on an afternoon and you’re making money doing it.”

She looked up into his handsome, tanned face and noticed that he was actually listening. He was looking at her and nodding in understanding. He was intently looking into her eyes and asking questions and continuing the conversation. That never happened with Kyle. By now, he would have been either looking at her chest or asking if she wanted to go to Butler Point to make out.

“So, where are you staying?” she asked.

“The Holiday Inn, just down the road.”

She turned to him quickly. “Oh, be careful of Jerry. He’s an attendant there. He’s a little … overly friendly sometimes.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I think I already crossed paths with him. He kept smiling at me and shaking my hand.”

“Be careful,” she warned with a laugh. “Once he latches on, he’ll never go away.”

“And how do you know this?” he asked as they rounded a corner.

She groaned in remembrance. “He use to come into the café everyday for breakfast and lunch, and sit in my section, and ask me out on a date. It didn’t matter how many times I said no, he just didn’t hear it. He’s like thirty-five and still lives with his mother. Its really sad.” She pointed to a storefront up ahead. “This is it.”

They each climbed the few stares in front of the small restaurant and Max quickly opened the door for her. She grinned when she felt him place his hand softly in the small of her back. Kyle never did that either. She walked just a half pace ahead of him, not wanting to give him an opportunity to relinquish his position.

The hostess’s stand was just inside the foyer. Her nametag read Tammy, and Liz guessed her to only be seventeen, most likely still in high school.

“Hello. How can I help you tonight?”

Liz offered, “We have a reservation for seven o’clock.”

The hostess looked to her sheet of names and asked, “And the name?”

“Parker.”

“Ah yes. Here you are.” Tammy scratched the name off the list, and then asked, “Would you like smoking or non?”

Liz looked to Max in question, as he did the same.

Max was the first to answer. “We’ll take non-smoking, please.”

“Yes sir. If you’ll follow Becky, she’ll show you to your table. Enjoy your meal.”

Their walk was short. Becky showed them to a small table along a wooden wall and before Liz could think, Max had already pulled out her chair for her.

She looked up at him in surprise. “Thank you,” she said softly. He smiled at her, and her insides melted. She took her seat slowly and she felt him scoot the chair in for her before taking his seat to her right.

The light in the restaurant was low with candlelight. Small sconce lamps dotted the outer walls, and Becky lit a match to light the candle at their table. She then placed the menus in front of them and informed them of the specials.

“Megan will be your server tonight. Enjoy your meal.”

Max turned to Liz after Becky left and softly said, “This is a great place. Do you come here often?”

Liz shook her head. “Only on special occasions.”

Max nodded and then turned to look at the menu. The prices weren’t terribly bad, but that wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

He stole another glance at her. God, she was beautiful. The red of her top accented her features perfectly. He barely remembered anything during the walk to the restaurant. All he could think of was how perfect she was: how she walked and talked and laughed and smiled.

After selecting his meal off the menu, he turned to look around the bistro-themed restaurant. The walls were decorated with French décor and painted bright colors. There was a list of wine selections at the center of the table and Max contemplated ordering a bottle of wine. Did she drink? She was old enough, but he didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. He wasn’t here to get her drunk and then take advantage of her.

The restaurant was busy, already late into the dinner rush. There was a hushed mumble of conversation as young couples, small groups of single women, and even a few families spoke quietly around them.

Max let his eyes roam to his left and he noticed two men at a table in the far corner steal a glance as Liz. He felt possessive, wanting to put his arm around her and claim her as his. But she wasn’t his. So instead he felt pride that the women the two men were with couldn’t hold a candle to Liz’s beauty. Even taken men were mesmerized by her.

The waitress came to take their drink order. As Liz asked for iced tea, Max did the same. Having an alcohol free night was fine with him. Besides, he wanted to remember every second of this date.

Soon Megan returned and they placed their dinner order, Liz ordering the snapper she had mentioned earlier and Max ordering the fillet mignon.

There was an uncomfortable silence at first, neither knowing how to start the conversation. Before, there were easy distractions to help ease the tension. The noise of the street, the menu to hide behind. Liz even excused herself to the restroom to give herself a few minutes to think of a topic. Nothing.

And then Max’s eyes lit up. “I forgot to tell you before. But you look incredibly beautiful.”

Liz blushed, and even in the dim lighting he could see the rosy color of her cheeks. “Thank you.”

“So, I have to ask.” He seemed so serious, and she waited intently for his question. “Turquoise uniforms?”

She laughed, and it was not just a soft giggle or even a light, feminine laugh. Her laughter rose in volume, startling the couple seated next to them and attracting the attention of several tables in the area.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized to no one in particular, trying to get a hold of herself.

Max laughed with her and inwardly patted himself on the back.

“Oh God, I was NOT expecting that!” She was finally about to quiet down, before she answered, “Its symbolism actually. The turquoise stands for the blue of the river and the silver is for the arch. Don’t worry, no body else gets it either.”

“Oh, okay. That makes sense. I just figured your dad was color blind or something.”

“I’m beginning to think he is.”

She reached up to brush a stray piece of hair out of her face but Max beat her to it. His fingers danced across her face and settled the strands behind her right ear.

Their eyes met, her brown to his hazel. Unknowingly they drifted closer. Max couldn’t help himself, she was so beautiful that not kissing her was an impossibility.

Liz couldn’t help herself either. Kyle never did that. He never showed any signs of affection or tender sentiment. When Max’s lips touched her in a feather light kiss, Kyle left her mind completely, permanently.

A soft squeak escaped her throat in surprise at the feelings he was conjuring in her. She hadn’t felt these feelings before, and she wasn’t even sure what all of them were. His left hand rose from her shoulder and cupped her cheek as he went to deepen the kiss slightly.

Perfect, was all he could think. She was absolutely perfect.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The dinner had gone incredibly well. The conversation was light and fun, and Max found himself not wanting the night to end. He desperately didn’t want to wake up from the dream he found himself in.

They walked hand in hand down the street that led back to the café. It was getting late and she had mentioned that she couldn’t stay out much later. She had to work in the morning.

As they rounded the last corner, she became silent. He stole a glance at her and wondered what she was thinking. She still had that beautiful smile on her face, but her eyebrows were furrowed and she seemed to be a million miles away.

They came to a stop in front of the double glass doors, and Max turned to face Liz, lifting her chin with his finger to bring their eyes together.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Where’d you go?”

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”

“Hopefully not about how to let me down easy.”

She shook her head with a smile. “No, no. Nothing like that.” Liz looked at him again, really looked at him. The entire evening he had been a perfect gentleman, holding open doors, pulling out chairs, paying for everything, and insisting on having dessert at her favorite ice cream shop. And he hadn’t even laughed at her when she ordered plain vanilla.

And she could see it in his eyes. She knew it was there, because it was in her eyes, too. That feeling of peace and happiness … contentment. Liz knew without him even asking that he wanted to see her again. And, God help her, she wanted to see him again, too. It felt so right being with him.

But he needed to know, she decided. She wouldn’t lead him on and pretend that she was a normal twenty-two year old on a date. Because she wasn’t normal.

“Max, I’ve had a great time tonight. Thank you for everything.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“You know, I feel kinda bad,” she said, and stepped closer, taking his other hand in hers. “I asked you out, and you paid for everything.”

“Another one of Dad’s secrets.”

“Well, give him my compliments, because tonight was absolutely perfect. And I would like very much to see you again.”

He stared at her and his smile faltered. “But…”

She sighed. “But, there’s something you should know about me.”

“What? What is it Liz?” He brought up his right hand to rub her cheek in encouragement.

“Max … I’m not a normal girl. I have a lot of baggage, more than a normal twenty-two year old should have. You know, you might think differently if you know what you could get yourself into. And, the only reason I’m telling you this is that, if you do ask me out again, at least you’ll have all the information.” She took a moment to gain her resolve. “I’m a mom.”

He continued to stare, not completely sure he heard correctly. “What?”

Liz reached into her purse, and pulled out a picture. Max gave a lasting look at Liz, and then looked at the little face in front of him.

“This is my daughter Rachel.”

Complicated
Carolyn Dawn Johnson

I'm so scared that the way that I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room
I wanna find a hiding place
We used to laugh, we used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and a touch of your hand
Just makes me come unglued

It's such a contradiction
Do I lie or tell the truth?
Is it fact or fiction?
Oh, the way I feel for you

It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay
Should I say it?
Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't
It's so complicated

Just when I think I'm under control
I think I finally got a grip
Another friend tells me that
My name is always on your lips
They say I'm more than just a friend
They say I must be blind
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me
From the corner of your eye

Oh, it's so confusing
Yeah, I wish you'd just confess
But think of what I'd be losing
If your answer wasn't yes

It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay
Should I say it?
Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't
It's so complicated

I hate it
Cause I've waited
So long for someone like you
Oh, what do I do?

Oh, should I say it?
Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't
It's so complicated

It's so complicated
It's so complicated


Part 5

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Mom?”

Liz quietly closed the door to the small apartment behind her. Usually her parents were in bed by now, but considering Liz’s activities that night, she assumed at least one of them would stay up and wait for her.

She wasn’t necessarily annoyed by their actions the past two years. She knew they worried and worried … and worried some more. Liz had always been smart and dependable. Her father would constantly remark about her someday going to Harvard and becoming a groundbreaking scientist. Needless to say, his dream never solidified.

Being an only child was always hard for Liz. No child enjoyed being constantly bombarded with their parents’ vicarious dreams, but she somehow always found her way.

Until Kyle, that is. Even with Sean she had been headstrong in her future. It had taken a few months, but she had realized the warning signs of his downward spiral from juvenile delinquent to criminal and fled without a second thought. Sean was anything but right for her.

Kyle might not have been right for her either, but he made her feel things. Popular, appreciated, worthwhile. And she had been blinded by it. His empty words of love and affection were enough for her at the time because she hadn’t known anything else.

Now, she did.

She worried about her parents and how they perceived her date. Max was nothing like Kyle or Sean. But that probably wouldn’t matter to them. They would see him as another threat to their daughter. They would shelter her and protect her, all the things that they wish they had done two years ago. After years of being coddled and isolated, Liz found herself feeling claustrophobic in her own house. She loved her parents dearly, but she wasn’t the child anymore. No, she was the parent.

“Liz, is that you?”

She fully entered the small apartment and saw her mother reclined in the armchair in the living room. Rachel was sprawled out on her chest in deep sleep, her chubby cheeks appearing even more so in her position. Her dark, wavy hair hung around her tiny face in short wisps. Her cheeks were rosy and her skin smelled of baby and soap. Just the sight of her made Liz smile.

“How was she?”

“An angel, as always. How was your date?”

Her mother’s tone didn’t escape Liz. It didn’t matter if it was intentional or not, her mother was always suspicious when it came to her ‘baby girl.’ Nancy was just being a mother and Liz was quite certain she would be the same way when Rachel was old enough. She found herself in a dilemma, which was happening more frequently. She couldn’t decide whether to take her baby and run or seek comfort in her mother’s arms. She couldn’t decide which she needed more.

“I guess that depends.”

Nancy gave a concerned look. “On what?”

“Well, the date itself went really well. We talked and laughed. He bought me dinner and then ice cream. He held my hand and pulled out my chair. He was a perfect gentleman. And then I told him about Rachel.”

“And he didn’t take it well,” Nancy surmised.

“No, that’s just it. I don’t really know.” Liz sat on the arm of the chair and stroked Rachel’s head. They were careful to keep their voices low so as not to wake her or Jeff, who was sleeping in the other room. “He didn’t say much, but I don’t think he was turned off either. He was probably just in shock,” she said somewhat distracted. She was giving most of her attention to her daughter now. Liz wasn’t use to leaving her for any length of time, even hours was too long. It was one of the reasons she didn’t date.

“So … how did you leave it?” Rachel shifted in her grandmother’s arms and Nancy patted her back soothingly.

“I told him to sleep on it. If he wants to see me again, he knows where I am.” Liz shrugged, trying to play it off as irrelevant, but to her it wasn’t. It mattered a great deal whether or not she saw Max again. It unnerved her a little, to think that she was falling for someone who would be leaving in a week. But she put the thought out of her mind. She would worry about it later, when her heart was breaking. Right now she felt lighter than air, and she reveled in it.

Nancy didn’t say anything, and for a few moments, the three ladies were quiet and comfortable. Liz was just about to excuse herself for bed, when she found Nancy staring at her.

“What?”

Nancy just shook her head, but kept her eyes trained on Liz.

“Mom, what?” She was getting uncomfortable under her mother’s scrutiny, not like that had never happened before. There were plenty of times when they were on thin ice, Nancy thinking Liz could do better and Liz thinking she would never measure up.

“No, I just … you’re not my little girl anymore, are you?”

Liz’s eyes softened at her mother’s words. There was no scrutiny, and she wasn’t patronizing. She was a mother who had finally realized that, after twenty-two years, her baby wasn’t a baby any longer.

“Mom, I’ll always be your little girl.” She kissed her mother on the head, and lifted Rachel carefully from Nancy’s arms. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight honey.”

Liz walked quietly into her room at the end of the hall, holding her daughter tightly to her. She kept the light off, not wanting to wake Rachel. A sleeping baby was one thing, a crying one was something else entirely.

Liz settled her in her crib that rested in the corner. She noticed her mother had put Rachel in Liz’s favorite pajamas. She had found in a small shop in town owned by an elderly woman who made the clothing by hand. The cloth was a light pink with several different types of fairies printed on it.

It had reminded her of the movie Peter Pan, her favorite movie growing up. When she was little, she would watch the movie wishing she could fly away.

The feeling never really left her. Now that she had a baby, Liz couldn’t just pack up and leave. But she was always wishing for something more. Something better. Her mother had called it juvenile optimism. He father had said it was a wonderful fantasy. She didn’t really care what anyone called it.

Just because it was idealistic didn’t mean it wasn’t realistic.

She readied for bed quickly, brushing her teeth and washing her face in the adjoining bathroom. She dressed in a tank top and boxers, and finally brushed her hair before giving her daughter one last kiss goodnight.

“Goodnight baby.”

Liz slept peacefully that night, content in her life for the time being. She had her family, her daughter, and perhaps something extra on the horizon. She could only hope.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She watched Maria out of the corner of her eye as she worked the next morning. Liz knew her best friend was literally dying to know how her date had gone. And true to Maria Deluca fashion, she had that anxious, determined glint in her eyes, the one she always got when she was expecting to get what she wanted. Today it was details, details, details.

But she hadn’t asked yet. And Liz hadn’t offered yet. It was actually kind of funny. Maria’s face would get red and bubbly and her arms would flail and she would work herself up into a frenzy and just as she was about to utter the words, she would shut down and excuse herself.

Liz was planning on waiting it out. So far, Maria had held out for forty minutes, far longer than any past occasion. Usually she caved after five minutes, tops.

They had both opened the café for the morning shift, six o’clock sharp. Usually Liz hated getting up so early, but instead of waking up slowly and dragging her feet for half of the morning, she had been a bubble of energy, waking up before her alarm clock even went off.

Rachel had been her usual docile self, playing in her crib until she decided she was hungry and then throwing a toy over the edge of the crib to alert everyone that it was breakfast time. She had had a big grin on her face the whole time, as usual, laughing at everything and nothing. She seemed to feed off of Liz’s good mood, and her parents didn’t miss the sudden attitude adjustment. It had been a long time since their daughter had been in such a good mood. Far too long.

Liz crossed the café to her section, still avoiding Maria’s eyes, and refilled cups of coffee as she went. Mr. Johnson was sitting at his usual place at the counter, drinking his usual cup of coffee, and reading his paper … as usual. Barbara Kelsey and her cousin Cynthia were seated against the far wall planning their great uncle’s funeral. He had died just a few days ago of a heart attack. Neither of the women was too shaken up. He wasn’t exactly known for being a kind man. Fred Petty, the grouchy old man at table twenty, was eating breakfast at the café today as well. Even he wasn’t able to bring Liz down from the clouds she seemed to walk on.

Before she had gone to sleep the night before, she had made a decision to live in the moment with Max. To enjoy anything and everything she could while he was in town. It would be by no means a long-term relationship, but she hoped that it would be a meaningful one at least. Even if she never saw him again, she would have one night. One night where she was an equal, where she was loved and respected.

Over the first four hours the café was open, the early bird customers filed in, and then slowly dissipated leaving the restaurant rather slow until lunch. The early meal wasn’t a particularly busy one, especially so early in the morning. But the Gateway Café was the only one in town that was open before nine in the morning. There were usually truckers, some farmers in town for the day, plus travelers and tourists passing through. Now, at ten o’clock, the café was nearly dead.

“Liz?”

She turned to see her dad come into the café with Rachel.

“What’s wrong?”

“She’s in one of her moods. She keeps calling for you.”

“Aw,” she said as she took Rachel from her grandfather’s arms. “Did you want Mommy?”

Rachel didn’t say anything, just smiled. Her teeth were starting to come in, and only half of the front ones were showing. She clung to her mother’s uniform and settled quickly onto Liz’s hip, laying her head on her shoulder. Liz kissed her head and rocked her.

“Alright, I give.” Maria came up to Liz quickly, and all Liz could do was smile and glance at the clock. Fifty-nine minutes, forty-two seconds. A new record. “Tell me.”

“What are you talking about Maria?” Liz asked cheekily. She turned and made silly faces at Rachel, who in turn laughed her baby giggle and pulled at her mother’s nose.

“You know what I’m talking about! The date with Mr. Handsome! How did it go?” She kissed Rachel on the cheek quickly, and then turned her attention to Liz.

“Fine.”

“And…?”

She was enjoying this far too much, she realized. Liz had forgotten how much fun it was to torture her best friend. It really was too easy.

“And nothing.” Liz turned to walk to the counter and she knew without looking that Maria was in hot pursuit.

“Oh no you don’t! You go on your first date in two months and then you act like there’s nothing to tell?! No, no, no. Right now, spill it right now! Please! I’m dying here.”

Liz set Rachel on the counter and plucked at her chubby cheeks playfully. “What is Aunt Maria talking about?” She leaned in in mock secrecy. “I don’t think she took her special pills today.” Rachel just laughed and studied her toes.

“Oh God Liz. You can’t do this to me, all right? It’s like a best friend code.” Liz half-listened as she went about preparing a fresh pot of coffee and wipe the counter down, all while keeping an eye on her daughter. Maria hovered, goading and begging all at once. “You are obligated to tell your best friend how a date went. You can’t just say ‘fine’ and get away with it. Maybe on a different date, but not on this one. Okay?”

“Why not this one?”

“Because this one actually means something. Look at you! You’re glowing! It’s like someone stuck a light bulb in you or something. You haven’t smiled this much since … since … I can’t even remember the last time you smiled this much! Okay? Please. I’ll do anything. But you have to tell me. How … did … it … go?”

“Okay, I guess.” Liz finished wiping off the counter, picked up Rachel, and nonchalantly tossed over her shoulder, “He kissed me.”

“What?! Oh my God, he kissed you? No! I don’t believe it. Wait, he did? You’re kidding me. When? Was it before or after you … wait, was that all you guys did? You didn’t like … go to his hotel room, did you? Oh God, Liz, please tell me you did not go to his hotel room!”

Liz had long ago abandoned listening to her friend’s rambling. She moved around the café, working with Rachel in her arms. She had done it before, and by this time of morning, the café was slow enough that it was actually easy. Plus the added bonus of spending extra time with her daughter. None of the customers cared anyway, and if they did she didn’t give a damn.

Maria grabbed her shoulders and turned Liz to face her. “Liz! Give me something here!”

Liz sighed. She had her fun. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you. He bought everything, held my hand, pulled out my chair, said that I looked beautiful, kissed me at dinner … and then we said goodnight. I don’t know if I’ll see him again, but I hope that I do. And yes … he knows about Rachel.” She turned and gave Rachel a kiss on the cheek. “Satisfied?”

“So, what did he say about her?”

“Who?” She laughed when Maria looked about ready to pop. “Oh, you mean Rachel? He didn’t say much. But, I could tell it wasn’t because he was turned off or anything. He was probably just really surprised. You know, he obviously had no idea. I told him to sleep on it and think it over. He knows where to find me.”

“Do you think he wants to see you again?”

Liz only hesitated for a minute before the flood gates opened. “God, I hope so. I really like him a lot, Maria. He’s so great. The way he makes me feel, like I’m special … I’ve never felt that way before.”

“Wow.”

Liz nodded and looked up with a smile on her face from her memory. She saw Maria staring off into space and asked, “What?”

“He looks really good today, too.”

Liz looked at her in wonder. “What? Who?”

Maria just nodded to the person behind Liz, and when she turned she came face to face with Max Evans. And she knew without asking that he had heard every word.

Okay, so I guess I have a little explaining to do.

First of all,

LttleMrmade wrote: I'm sure the statement you put at the beginning saying it was going to be fluff had nothing to do with it.

When I came up with idea for this fic back in November, I intended very much for it to be fluffy. Somehow this whole angsty storyline came in and I really loved how it worked. I hope you guys agree. There's always a story about Max with a son, but never Liz with a child. I thought it would be an interesting twist to the usual.

Secondly,

Gigo wrote:I just started reading this today, and it's wonderful! Very light and fluffy, but with that wonderful streak of Issues that I know you'd never be without.

Elizabeth

This is what I'm going for. I always guarantee a happy ending, and this story is no exception. But, there will be a few twists in the road.

Some questions are answered in this part, but you might have a few more when you're done reading.

Thank you all so much for the great feedback. I really REALLY enjoy writing this fic. Hope you like...

~Sarah


We Haven’t Turned Around
Gomez

We came, we came, we came again
To stem the tide and point the blame
Came back for more
Came back to see what you had in store
Everyone join the line, everyone
Yeah

So you wanna spin the world around?
So you wanna spin the world around?
And anybody else, cut 'em down
So you wanna make catastrophe?
Won't you send it right over to me
I got some time
Everybody running high

The same, the same, the same again
To steal the time and haunt the graves
Just because it's there
Don't mean you see it anywhere
Maybe it's a trick of the light
Maybe, yeah

So you wanna spin the world around?
So you wanna spin the world around?
And anybody else, cut 'em down
So you wanna make catastrophe?
Don't you send it right over to me
I got some time
Everybody come alive
Yeah

So you wanna spin the world around?
So you wanna spin the world around?
And anybody else, bring 'em down
So you wanna make catastrophe?
Don't you send it right over to me
I got some time
Everybody running high

So you wanna spin the world around?
So you wanna spin the world around?
And anybody else, cut 'em down
So you say we haven't turned around?
So you say we haven't turned around?
Just everybody else is going wrong
Going wrong



Part 6

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So…”

“So.”

Max sighed and turned to his left to look at them. “So this is Rachel.”

She just nodded, trying desperately to hide how self-conscious and embarrassed she was. “Yeah. This is Rachel.”

They walked down the street outside the café now that Liz’s shift was over. Max had waited forty-five minutes for her shift to end, and then another twenty for her to change and get Rachel ready. Now at close to one in the afternoon, they casually strolled down the same street as the previous night.

But how different it was the second time around. Last night, Max had felt carefree holding the hand of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Now, he felt awkward and somewhat out of place walking next to her as she carried her daughter.

He had ‘slept on it,’ as she suggested. And it had been complete hell the entire time; he hadn’t ‘slept’ at all. He hated himself for walking away, for leaving her on that street without saying anything. Of course, hindsight was always twenty-twenty. Lying in bed that night, he had thought of a million things that he should have said to her. “Your daughter is beautiful, just like her mother.” “Maybe we could take her to the park tomorrow.” “I bet you’re a wonderful mother.” “Where’s her father?”

He had worried himself into a fit. Maybe she was cheating on her boyfriend or husband with him? Maybe she was abused or a runaway? Maybe he was in prison? Maybe he was dead and left her all alone to fend for herself and their child? Maybe …

Eventually he had stopped the delusional train of thought he had been on, and had thought more constructively. If she was with somebody, like Rachel’s father, he was quite certain she was not the type of woman to cheat. And he had gotten the impression for the night before that the ‘father’ was not in the picture, even though he hoped to God he was wrong. What kind of man just left a child? It made his stomach turn.

Watching Liz with Rachel now, hugging her close and kissing her head, that longing for a family of his own came back with a vengeance. He wanted that. He had always wanted a wife and kids, a white picket fence with a dog in the back yard. A pool for those hot summers and maybe a timeshare in Colorado for skiing in the winters. College funds and family vacations. Girl Scouts and Little League. He wanted it all.

But what worried him more was, he wanted it with … with Liz.

The more he learned of her, the more he wanted to know. She was beautiful inside and out. She was smart and kind, gracious and humble. Max didn’t know what had happened to bring Rachel into the world, but he could tell a lot about Liz by the way she was around her daughter. She had so much love in her heart. Anyone could plainly see it.

He had known, without even analyzing it, that he wanted to see Liz again. Knowing she had a daughter only reinforced it. It was one of the reasons why he couldn’t wait any longer to see Liz again, or why he desperately wanted to get to know Rachel. She was a part of Liz, after all. Liz wasn’t just fun and loving and everything else he had mentioned, she was honest. She hadn’t tried to sweep her ‘problem’ under the rug and keep Rachel from him. She was upfront, telling him the truth about her beautiful fourteen-month-old daughter Rachel.

She had been surprised to see him in the café, she had said so. He had been surprised to see Rachel up close and personal so quickly. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable dating, if you could call it dating, a woman with a daughter. But it was almost painful knowing that he wasn’t a part of it. And then to hear her talk to Maria about their date set his fears to rest and conjured up new ones at the same time. He wasn’t sure which was up at this point.

When he had suggested going to the park, Liz had been hesitant. But when he had said that one word, p-a-r-k, Rachel’s eyes lit up and she kept saying, “Sly, sly!” like her life depended on it. Of course Liz did not miss his completely lost look, and she had clarified, “Slide.” All kids loved the slide. It happened to be one of Max’s favorites.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Max?”

Max looked to Liz, suddenly fearful that she had just politely accepted his offer to go to the park to spare his feelings. It didn’t matter that just an hour ago she had said she wanted to see him again. He was still a ball of nerves. Did she not want to spend time with him? Or worse yet, did she not want him to spend time with her daughter?

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s not that hot today. I thought we could go play in the park, and then get some sno cones or something.”

“Okay.” When she saw his worried look, she continued, “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” She shifted Rachel on her hip. For fourteen months, she was getting awfully heavy.

“I’m not uncomfortable, Liz. Really. I just want to spend time with you … with both of you.” He suddenly grinned. “Do you think she likes it?”

Liz laughed, glancing down at her daughter and the stuffed teddy bear in her mouth. “Yeah, she loves it. Teddy bears are her favorite.”

“Are you sure she’s not just really hungry?” he asked, as Rachel continued to chew on the brand new bear in her hands.

Liz laughed. “No. She’s teething so she chews on everything. Don’t take it personally.”

“I was gonna say, if she doesn’t like bears, I could’ve gotten her a bunny rabbit or a dog or a kitten…”

“No, bears are fine.”

Their eyes met, laughing and grinning, truly enjoying the respite of tension. Max hadn’t been sure how to start off a conversation with her. Liz hadn’t been sure how he was handling the whole ‘situation.’ About two years ago, a lesser man had not taken the news well.

“She looks a lot like you.” He had grown serious now, intently staring at Liz, and then Rachel, and then Liz again. The resemblance was uncanny.

“Everyone says that.”

“Its true. You have the same eyes and hair and smile…”

“Thank you.”

Their moods remained upbeat as they entered the small park. Liz set Rachel down and she toddled away slowly at first, and then with greater speed as her confidence grew. She had just learned to walk and her feet were still none to steady.

Liz placed the diaper bag on the bench and kept a watchful eye on her daughter as she explored the sandbox. Rachel hadn’t taken much time to find it, and she was now plopped down right in the middle with sand in her hands and a grin on her face. Max wasn’t sure who he wanted to look at more, Liz or Rachel.

“Do you guys come here often?”

Liz nodded. “Yeah, she loves the sandbox and swings and slides. I don’t mind the slide so much, as long as I go down with her. The swings are okay, but I don't push her very high. The sandbox … I have issues with that one.”

“Why?” he asked, genuinely curious. From what he could tell, Rachel was having a ball.

“She gets the sand everywhere. Her hair, her mouth, her diaper. It’s a nightmare.” Even as she was saying this, she offered Rachel a plastic shovel from the diaper bag so she could play more efficiently. Despite her objections, Max saw the happiness in Liz’s eyes. Whatever made Rachel happy made Liz happy. He would have to keep that in mind.

The two sat on the bench and watched Rachel play. She was quite content by herself for the moment. But Liz knew that soon she would become bored and they would be off to the swings or the merry go round or the slides.

Max sat to Liz’s left, with his right arm lying across the backrest. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss that he had stolen the night before at dinner. The park was fairly deserted and the three had the park to themselves for the time being. What would she do if he let his hand drop to her shoulder? What would she say if he kissed her again like he wanted to? He wanted to be so careful of her.

Max would steal a look at Liz and then focus on Rachel. He noticed how happy she was, her grin was always full and toothy. Her giggles were soft and light. Nothing seemed to faze her and even with her interest in the sand mound in front of her, she kept Liz in sight.

“Is she always so happy?” he asked.

Liz nodded. “Yeah. My mom couldn’t believe when she started sleeping through the night at five weeks. She swore that it was an injustice to all women. Whenever she’s awake, she’s happy. She almost never cries. She’s the perfect baby.”

“That must be nice.”

“I know,” Liz said. “When she does cry, I know something’s wrong, like she’s hurt. If she’s hungry she’ll throw a toy. If she’s bored, she’ll chew on her fingers. And if she’s dirty, she’ll actual go to the diaper bag and lay down in front of it.”

Max laughed. “Really?”

“Yeah. I swear, she’s the smartest baby in the world!”

“What does her father think?” he asked without even thinking.

Liz’s laughter died. “Not much. I haven’t seen him in two years.”

She chanced a look at Max. He was just staring at her in disbelief.

“T…Two years?” She nodded and turned to Rachel again. “So, where is he?” When he saw her hesitate, he added quickly, “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking. That’s a … really personal question. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. I’m sorry. Don’t answer. Just forget I said anything.”

It took her a few moments of quiet to find the words, and when she spoke her voice was low and mournful. “He’s in Florida. When I told him I was pregnant, he took off, and I haven’t seen him since.”

“So, he wasn’t there through … anything?”

She shook her head, staring at her daughter – the center of her life. “He’s never seen her. He never calls. Not that I want him to,” she added under her breath.

But Max had heard it. He would have thought of that piece of information, if another hadn’t already been on his mind. “He doesn’t care he has a child?” His voice was disbelieving, and as he looked at Rachel, Max couldn’t grasp it. How could a man not care about his own flesh and blood? How could he just leave? He turned to Liz, and his hand unconsciously fell to her shoulder. “He doesn’t care at all?”

“We were young,” she said, looking intently into his amber eyes. “Twenty. Not many people are ready for parenthood so young.” Liz unconsciously leaned into his embrace, wanting his comfort.

“Being a parent is one thing. Having a heart is another.”

Liz lowered her eyes, but not before he saw tears forming. He mentally kicked himself. This was obviously not a happy memory for her to relive. “I’m sorry Liz.”

“Its okay. It was a long time ago.”

It wasn’t long before Rachel was bored with the sandbox and she was ready to play on something else. Liz was glad for the distraction, but also reluctant to leave Max’s embrace. The swings were next, and Liz carefully placed her in the baby-safe swing, equipped with a lap bar and safety belt.

“You’re a real stickler about safety, huh?”

She turned to Max, and saw the twinkle in his eye and his joking manner. “Yes,” she said with a smile on her face. “Better safe than sorry.” She lightly slapped him on the chest when a chuckle escaped his lips.

Rachel giggled as the swing went back and forth, higher and higher. But not too high. Liz didn’t want to have a heart attack. Max watched from the side with a smile on his face. He sat at the swing to Rachel’s left, watching the smile grow on their faces.

The cell phone rang in Liz’s diaper bag then. “Oh, I’ll be right back.” She stopped Rachel's flight, and went to the bench to answer the call.

Rachel sat, not liking one bit that she had stopped. She looked at Max, and Max looked at her. She moved in the swing, trying desperately to swing herself, but unable to. Her legs weren’t long enough. She turned her sad eyes to him again, and he couldn’t help himself.

Max stood and hesitantly pushed Rachel. She kicked her feet in delight and giggled softly as the swing went back and forth. He reflexively smiled, and pushed her again and again and again. Soon he was laughing wholeheartedly, as she would lean her head back and say, “Hi!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hello?”

“Hey, how’s it going?”

Liz smiled. “Fine. Are you checking up on me?”

She heard a low chuckle. “I can’t help it. I worry about my girls.”

“Dad,” she lightly chastised.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I worry, what can I say?”

“Is Rachel having fun?”

“Of course. She always has fun at the park. I think she’s finally learning that sand doesn’t taste very good.”

“That’s my girl.”

He heard Liz laugh, and Jeff sighed with a smile on his face. How he wished he had protected Liz better years ago. But he was always a sucker for her puppy dog eyes that she would use to get her way. No matter how old she got, Liz would always be his little girl.

“Is Max still with you?”

“Yeah.”

“And you like him, don’t you?”

Liz sighed into the phone. “Dad…”

“Listen, I just want to know what to expect.”

She nodded, even though her father couldn’t see it. “I do. Yeah, I like him a lot. He’s really great.”

“And I’m assuming its mutual.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled. She could tell how uncomfortable this conversation was for her father, and yet he was still trying. “Yeah, its mutual.”

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do when he goes home?”

“No, I … I haven’t.”

“I think maybe you should, Lizzie.”

She grew quiet. She didn’t want to think about when Max left. Because then she would have to think about when Kyle left.

“Okay, Dad.”

“Take care of my favorite grandbaby, alright?”

“Dad, she’s your only grandbaby,” she said as she turned to look at Rachel.

“And I’d like to keep it that way for a while,” he said lightheartedly, but Liz wasn’t listening anymore.

All she saw was the happy grin on Rachel’s face as she swung back and forth. And she saw Max, as he smiled back, pushing her on the swing. It was beautiful, and she didn’t notice her father calling her name on the phone. Liz knew Max was gentle and shy and genuine. He had proven it last night on their date when he had treated her with more than just juvenile lust.

But watching him with her daughter, so carefree and happy, she smiled the first truly authentic smile in months.

“Liz?!”

“Yeah. Yeah Dad. Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said I want you to be careful. And to have fun.”

She nodded her head, never taking her eyes off the picture in front of her. “Yeah, Dad. I will.”

Liz hung up her cell phone and walked toward Max and Rachel slowly, not wanting to break their moment too soon. Rachel had always taken to strangers easily, but for some reason her liking Max meant more.

She stood to the side, content to watch as her daughter kicked and squealed with delight and Max laughed and pushed her higher. They were beautiful together. Rachel had never had a ‘father figure’ in her life, and didn’t really know what a dad was. And before, for the past two years, that was just fine with Liz and the rest of her family. She had stayed single, only dating when Maria pushed or she couldn’t take spending every night cooped up in the apartment with her parents.

Max had so many levels to him, and so far Liz had seen so many. How many more would be revealed in the days to come? She doubted he had very many bad features. Certainly far fewer than Sean or Kyle. A few years ago, she might not have given Max a second look. She would have been too busy with her schooling or too busy looking for the wrong guy for her. Or maybe not. Maybe she would have been as drawn to him then and she was now. If things had been different, maybe they would have had so much more time together. If only.

She watched Max push Rachel in the swing again, and quietly said, “Not too high.”

Max swung his gaze to his right, and saw Liz leaning against the swing post with a small smile on her face. He had been so caught up in Rachel that he hadn’t noticed her return. He also didn’t notice the swing coming back before it cracked him in the nose.

“Oh,” he moaned loudly.

“Oh my God! Max!”

He fell to his knees, holding his nose with his hands. Liz rushed to Rachel, stopped the swing, and grabbed her before turning to Max.

“Oh Max. Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he said uncertainly. A wave of pain hit him again, and he countered, “No.”

Liz sat Rachel on the ground with him, and ran to the diaper bag, bringing it back. “Lift your head. Keep your nose elevated.” She searched for the wipes, but found tissues first. “Here. Here’s a tissue. Is it bleeding?”

He nodded, too consumed with the pain of his more than likely broken nose to give her a verbal response.

“Here, let me see.”

He took the tissue away slowly, and she saw blood on the tissue and even more coming from his nose. It was cracked along the bridge and blood was seeping from the small opening and his nostrils. It didn’t look broken, but his moans of pain hinted otherwise.

She scooted closer, took the tissue from him, and cupped his face gently. Liz cringed. His beautiful face looked mangled now, his eyes scrunched in pain.

“Oh Max, I’m so sorry.”

“N-No, its alright. I’m fine.”

“You are NOT fine. Do you think you need to go to the hospital?”

“No, no. I’ll be fine. Its okay.”

Liz dabbed the blood with the tissue in her left hand here and there, trying her best to stop the bleeding, and it appeared to be working. She didn’t realize her right hand softly stroked his cheek in sympathy.

“Is that better?” she asked softly.

He opened his eyes, and saw her concerned look. Max brought his hand up to take her right hand in his. She stood on her knees, and her height gave him an angle of her he hadn’t seen before. Her hair hung around her face, her eyes glimmered in the sunlight, her eyebrows were furrowed in worry. It looked like she had a halo of light around her beautiful face. She was so close and he couldn’t help himself.

He didn’t think about it. He didn’t want to think about it. He leaned in and kissed her. His lips were gentle and passive, as if he wasn’t sure he had the right to kiss her. As if he wasn’t sure she wanted to kiss him.

But he needn’t worry. As soon as their lips touched, Liz had been consumed. She was tentative at first, afraid she might hurt him further. But as he tugged and sucked on her lips, she gave in and kissed him back. Her lips acquainted themselves with his, and vise versa. She stroked his bottom lip with her tongue and he opened his mouth eagerly.

Their bodies neared as the kiss intensified. His cupped her face in his hands, and she held onto his shoulders for stability. Liz thought she might fly away if she didn’t grab hold of something.

Rachel sat between them, looking up at her mother and Max, and then played with the grass around her.

They parted for air, and stared at each other. Liz searching Max’s eyes for something she couldn’t name. Max searching hers, wondering if he really ever wanted to leave St. Louis.

In twenty-four hours, he had fallen head over heels in love with Liz Parker, and felt much the same about Rachel.
It was crazy. He was crazy. But he couldn’t help it. When he was around Liz, nothing else mattered.

“I think I’m okay now,” he said, referring to his nose. “It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”



TBC ...

Okay, so I think I'm going to revise my previous disclaimer:

Title: Something To Sleep To
Rating: PG-13, NC-17 eventually
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot line, all else is Roswell.
Summary: No aliens. Max's life changes and he searches for "Something To Sleep To." In other words ... Liz. He'll find her, don't worry. How soon will be determined. Some angst, but definitely a happy ending.

This is sooooo NOT true anymore!!! - Its all fluff, something fun and ... just nice to read. No real angst, or drama. It might be sad in a few parts, but mostly just a celebration of the love of Max and Liz.

Hope you like, let me know what you think!

~Sarah


Black and Blue
Counting Crows

Fading everything to black and blue
You look a lot like you
Shatter in the blink of an eye
You keep sailing right on through

Every time you say you're learning
You just look a lot like me
Pale under the blistering sky
White and red, black and blue

You've been waiting a long time
You've been waiting a long time
To fall down on your knees
Cut your hands
Cut yourself until you bleed
Fall asleep next to me

Wait for everyone to go away
And in a dimly lit
Room where you've got nothing to hide
Say your goodbyes

Tell yourself we'll read a note that says
I'm sorry everyone
I'm tired of feeling nothing goodbye
Wash your face, dry your eyes

Cause you've been waiting a long time
You've been waiting a long long time
To fall down on your knees
Cut your hands
Cut yourself until you bleed
But fall asleep next to me

Have a dream I'm falling down
On my face
Scrape my knees
Scrape my hands until they bleed
Cause you're fast asleep next to me
Next to me
Next to me
Next to me


Part 7

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hello?” Maria called out, knocking before she entered the small apartment. Her feet hurt and her head ached, but that was common after a long shift. She usually hated working without Liz, and today was no exception, but at least she had something to look forward to … grilling Liz about yesterday’s excursion to the park.

“Maria, in here,” Nancy said as she looked up from her spot on the floor. Rachel was sprawled out on her back playing with a stuffed toy. “Is your shift over?”

“Yeah, I just came up to talk to Liz. Is she in her room?” she asked, and started to walk in that direction.

“Actually, Maria, could I talk to you for a minute?” Maria stopped and looked questioningly at Liz’s mother. What could she possibly want to talk to her about? “Its about this Max.” Oh, that.

Maria hesitantly entered the room and sat across from Nancy on the floor. She smiled at Rachel as the little girl played quietly on the floor, before saying, “What about him?”

She could tell Nancy was probably a little uncomfortable talking to her about Max, and she also knew that the older woman would find out all she could even if Maria didn’t want to say anything. Nancy Parker was a force to reckon with when she was on a mission.

“Well, he’s from New Mexico, right?”

Maria nodded.

“And, he’s not staying in town for very long, right?”

Maria nodded again.

“And … and what kind of … relationship does he have with Liz?”

Maria thought about that. She wasn’t sure herself, and that was one of the reasons why she came up to the apartment after her shift. She needed to talk to Liz. But Nancy was looking at her expectantly and Maria knew she wouldn’t wait.

“Well, from what she’s told me, she likes him. A lot.”

Nancy nodded, and stared off in Rachel’s direction. “Does she … I mean, how serious is this?”

“I don’t know,” Maria answered truthfully.

When she noticed Nancy was probably conjuring up another horrible end to one of Liz’s destined-to-fail relationships, she added, “But Liz has grown up a lot. She won’t do anything stupid. She might like Max, but that’s not what’s important anymore. She has Rachel to consider. And she knows that. Mrs. P., if anyone learns from their mistakes, its Liz.”

“I just don’t want her to get hurt again, Maria. It nearly killed me the last time.”

Maria nodded. “Me, too.” She thought a moment, and then added, “Look, I’ll keep you posted and let you know if I think she shouldn’t see him anymore. But from what I’ve seen, he’s a really great guy.”

“Thank you Maria.”

The two women shared a look, both worried about Liz and neither sure how to handle the situation.

Maria rose from her seat on the floor and, with a polite smile at Nancy, walked down the hall to Liz’s room. Her door was open and she saw Liz folding laundry and placing them in the dresser.

“So, I hear Rachel did a number on poor old Maxie yesterday.”

Liz turned to see Maria leaning against her bedroom doorframe with a smirk on her face. She apparently had just finished her shift, because she still wore the aqua-colored uniform and silver apron. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and her lip-gloss shimmered in the low light from the bedside lamp.

“She didn’t mean to do it.” A grin started growing on her face from the memory. She said as innocently as possible, “It was an accident.”

Maria didn’t try to hold back her laughter as she entered the room and plopped down on Liz’s bed.

“God, I wish I could have seen that. When I saw him this morning, his nose was black and bandaged. You have to tell me what happened.”

“We were having a great afternoon in the park. Rachel was swinging, Max was pushing. Rachel kept swinging, and … Max’s face took a beating.”

Maria shook her head. “I guess he didn’t know what he was getting himself into, huh?”

Liz turned from the dresser where she had been putting Rachel’s laundry away. Her smile had faded, her laughter had died.

“I think it’s the other way around.”

Maria furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?” She expected Liz to be happy and eager to tell of the eventful day in the park. Now she wasn’t so sure. Just a second ago, Liz was smiling and laughing, and now she was subdued and reflective, which was never a good thing. She had a tendency of overthinking.

Liz looked down at her hands, suddenly very nervous. It was different when you thought it, or when you considered it. But when you said it, it was real.

“I think … I think he might be getting the wrong impression.” Her voice was low, and Maria had to strain to hear her words.

She shook her head in confusion. “I’m not following.”

Liz sighed heavily and went to her door to shut it before one of her nosy parents overheard. She lay next to Maria on the bed, and said with a pained voice, “He thinks I’m easy.”

“WHAT?” Maria couldn’t believe her ears. “No. No way. Liz, what are you talking about?”

“Think about it, Maria. I asked him out. He knows how much I like him, because he heard us talking yesterday. I kissed him on our first date and then again yesterday.” She laughed self-deprecatingly. “I bet he’s just counting down until I put out.”

“Liz Parker, don’t you say that ever again! Where is this coming from anyway?” Maria asked in disbelief.

She ignored her friend’s question and continued to babble. “He’s just playing along. Taking us to the park. Buying us sno cones. Eating in the café and then leaving me twenty-dollar tips. I should have seen it coming. God, I’m so stupid!”

“What if he’s just being nice?”

“Oh please! No guy is just nice to be nice. They’re nice to get laid. And he figures that since I have a kid and obviously I’m not a virgin, he can have his way with me. Or have you forgotten my last date?”

Maria shook her head. “No I haven’t forgotten. Derek was an asshole, but that doesn’t mean that every guy is. Maybe Max is different.”

“He’s too good Maria. No guy is that sweet. I should know.”

Maria was getting mad now. Since when did Liz ever think she wasn’t good enough? She was, damn it!

“Okay, say that he is just out for sex. Does that mean he gets to sleep with you?”

“No.”

“So what are you so scared of?”

Liz’s gates had opened, and her heart was spilling forth. Years of pent up emotion came in a gushing flood.

“Getting hurt! Rachel doesn’t need that. I don’t need that. I’ve been hurt plenty of times before. I’m tired of it! I’m like a doormat for anyone that’s capable of making me feel worthless.”

“Max makes you feel worthless?” she asked, but knew it wasn’t true.

“No. At least not yet, and that’s the point. He’s playing me. It’s the only explanation. What rich, classy guy wants to date a twenty-two year old single mother – slash – waitress? He figures I put out, so its only a matter of time before he gets what he wants and then he can go home to Roswell, New Mexico and be with a sophisticated woman who isn’t already tainted. I’m not the kind of girl that you can take home to Mommy.”

Maria didn’t know where any of this was coming from, or at least why it hadn’t come out sooner. Her best friend had been through a lot over the past two years, and not once did she complain. Liz never asked for exceptions or assistance. But that didn’t mean that she wasn’t hurt. When Kyle had left her, a piece of Liz’s spirit had died. Her eyes stopped sparkling and her laughter wasn’t hearty. That is, until Max had come into her life.

She shook her head in pity. She should have seen it sooner. Liz was hurting and she never showed it, and even worse, Maria never saw it. And now Liz’s pain and pride had grown so much that they were barricading her heart. Max would be a lucky son of a bitch if he ever got through.

“So … what? That means you aren’t worthy of love or happiness? Don’t give me that disparaging crap.”

“Maria. Think about it. You of all people should be able to relate,” Liz said. They were sitting cross-legged now, facing each other on the bed. “Your dad took off for another woman and left you and your mom all alone. You haven’t seen him since you were eight.”

“What’s your point?” she asked in a low voice.

“My point is there is no knight in shining armor. He doesn’t exist. But every woman wants one and certain men come into their lives and play on their hearts, pretending to be their savior. And then after … they’re left broken. I’ve been broken enough. I’m still broken. Max is just twisting the knife.”

“You really believe that?” Maria asked. “Do you really believe that he would do that?”

“It’s happened before. And it’s happening again.”

“Now you listen to me, Elizabeth.” Maria had had enough. It was time to set Liz straight. “Max is not Kyle.” When she saw that Liz was about to interrupt, she continued. “No! You listen to me. Kyle is gone. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. And I know you think all he did was ruin your life. But he didn’t. He gave you Rachel. Are you saying you would take her back?”

She watched Liz shake her head and swipe tears from her cheeks.

“Of course not, because you love her. And she’s not the only good thing that came out of it either. You’re smarter now. He didn’t ruin you, he made you better. And I know it hurts to learn that kind of lesson, but sometimes the hardest thing is the best thing. The girl that dated Kyle Valenti is not the woman I’m talking to now. Maybe you needed to go through all of that to appreciate what you have … or could have,” she said with a meaningful look.

Maria brought her hand up to clear her eyes of her own tears. She hated talking about her father, but if it helped Liz realize what she could miss out on, she would do it.

“I’m so scared Maria. Oh God, I’m so scared,” she was sobbing now. She wanted to be happy. Her heart wanted to open up and love someone. But her mind had a firm lock on it. It was an internal battle that was driving her crazy.

Maria gathered Liz into her arms, both of the women crying together. Maria for the family she should have had, and Liz for the love she deserved to have.

“I know Liz. It’s okay to be scared. But you can’t stop living.”

Liz nodded, unable to say much of anything. Her throat was so tight with emotion she could barely breathe.

Maria rubbed her back soothingly and noticed that Nancy had stuck her head into the bedroom. She shook her head, and Nancy understood. This wasn’t a mother-daughter moment. She left soon after, but made a mental note. She would have a talk with Jeff.

Liz calmed eventually, but not before she thanked Maria profusely.

“Hey, no prob. What are best friends for?”

They laughed, and had a moment of recuperation from the emotional ordeal.

“So, what should I do?” Liz asked uncertainly. For the longest time, she thought she would never love again. And now here she was two years later, wanting desperately to open up to Max and let him in but not knowing how.

She realized that Kyle had hurt her in more ways than one. Not only did he take her virginity and leave her pregnant, he stole her faith … in everyone, and even worse, in herself.

“I think you should just be careful. Still have fun, but be careful. Max might only be here for a few more days, but … anything’s possible. You might be surprised.”

Liz nodded deep in thought. Even if she had her doubts, there was one good thing about him. When she looked at Max, she did see Kyle. Before, whenever she had dated, she had always compared the man she was with to Kyle. Would he lie like Kyle, or act like Kyle, or leave her crying like Kyle?

But with Max, it was different. She never once compared Max to Kyle, it was the other way around. She noticed how Kyle never pulled out chairs like Max or held open doors like Max or even paid for dinners like Max.

Max was caring, and gentle, and even shy.

Kyle was nothing like Max.

Liz realized something else, too. She had stopped thinking about Kyle in the present. Maybe after all this time, she was finally getting over it, getting over him. Maybe finally she was moving on.

Maria saw her far away expression and said with a smile, “You really like him, don’t you?”

Liz nodded with a sad smile. She did like him – she more than liked him. But that just wasn’t enough anymore.

I struggled with this chapter for quite a few days. Tell me if it doesn't work and I will change it. I am far from 100% behind this, and I really really hate that.

Anyway, let me know! Thanks for the great feedback.

~Sarah


More Than Words
Extreme

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cause I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now that I've tried to
Talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go

More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cause I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you



Part 8

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She exited the café with an absent air about her, ignoring looks and comments, hellos and goodbyes. She shifted through the crowd with practiced skill and failed to hear her father’s call to her as she opened the large glass door and stepped onto the sidewalk.

She was on a mission.

She walked with a purpose, her strides long and firm, her determination high and steady. The sun was setting in the western sky, the ending to another stressful and very much confusing day. But she saw none of it as she silently spoke to herself, convincing herself, demanding of herself.

She would not fall for him, she said. She would not kiss him or hug him or tell him how she felt about him.

She wouldn’t. She would NOT.

For some reason she wasn’t totally convinced.

Ever since Max Evans had stormed into her life just a few days ago, Liz had found herself hopelessly at his mercy. If he had told her to jump, she would have asked how high. Her heart accepted him even before her mind had a chance to warm up to the idea. She usually wasn’t so blind to logic, but where and when Max was concerned, she was blissfully ignorant to anything rational. And that scared her, even more so than how she loved a total stranger.

She would do just about anything for him, she realized. Max was like no man she had ever met. When she was with him, he made her forget about everything and everyone. She forgot about her parents, and Maria, and even Kyle and her heartache. When Liz was with Max, she only thought of how he made her feel. Loved.

And in all honestly, she really, really liked that feeling. It was something that she didn’t get to experience very often. Sure her parents told her they loved her and it was a long-standing tradition for Maria and Liz to say they loved each other, because they did. But it was different when it came from somebody who didn’t have to love her. Who didn’t know all of her secrets and regrets and dreams and fantasies … and mistakes.

Liz had made plenty of them over the years. And she had to admit that, even after everything she went through with Kyle, she couldn’t regret being with him. She didn’t regret for one moment making the decision to keep her baby. To raise her daughter without a father. To accept his refusal to be a responsible participant. To put off graduate school until Rachel was out of diapers. She hadn’t, for one moment, regretted her hasty departure from adolescence. She did wish that it hadn’t happened so quickly or even brutally, but she couldn’t change that. They were mistakes that she had made, having unprotected sex with a man she didn’t love, and now she was reaping the rewards and consequences all at the same time.

She neared the Holiday Inn fully intent on cutting off all ties to Max. He didn’t need this, she reasoned. He didn’t need to be sitting in a hotel room in St. Louis when he could go home to New Mexico and have a happy life with a woman who deserved him. He didn’t need the grief of a single mother, or the baggage that she lugged around. He didn’t need the uncertainty that she lived with every day. He didn’t need her, and she was quite sure that she didn’t deserve him.

She opened the large door of the tall building and took a sigh of relief from the evening air. Even with sun lowering in the sky, the heat lingered. Soon the dark of night would squash the humidity.

As Liz entered the lobby, she realized she had no idea what room Max was staying in. Her hands twitched in nervousness and her heart raced. She stood in the entrance to the large hotel debating if this was a good decision. She really didn’t want to do this. Maybe she had read his signals completely wrong. Maybe he didn’t really care about her or Rachel. Maybe he never even gave them a second thought. Maybe he was just enjoying the company while he was in town. Would he leave without saying goodbye? Would he even think about her after he left?

She wasn’t so sure. She was riddled with self-doubts.

If she went up to his room and gave the speech that she had prepared in her mind, would he look at her as if she had two heads? Or laugh right in her face? Or give her a pitiful look and play along for her benefit?

But what if she was right, and he did have feelings for her? Would he fight for her? Would he argue and claim that she was wrong? That she just needed to give him a chance to see how wonderful they could be together?

The angel and devil on her shoulders were driving her crazy. She wasn’t sure which to believe.

“Lizzie?” a voice asked.

Liz looked to find Jerry staring at her from his spot at the lobby desk with a huge grin on his face. She groaned low in her throat. He just had to be working today of all days. Could this day get any worse?

“God, I haven’t seen you in forever! How are you?”

Liz guardedly walked to the counter and instinctively stood with a defensive stance, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes never meeting his. She really didn’t want to have to deal with letting Max go and fending off Jerry’s advances all in one day.

“Hi … Jerry. I’m fine.”

“You look lovely Liz. Did you get your hair cut?”

She looked at him with a speculative look. They hadn’t seen each other in over six months, and he noticed that? “Yeah, actually I did. Its more of a trim, but…”

“It doesn’t matter what you do Liz. You’re still beautiful.”

Poor Jerry, Liz thought. He was so sweet, so sincere, and so not her type. He was the type of guy you never noticed. He wasn’t necessarily dense or overweight or even unattractive. He was just average in every way. There was nothing individual or unique about him. He had brown hair, brown eyes, average build and height. Jerry was your run of the mill, normal, uninteresting Midwest man.

“Thank you Jerry. That’s very sweet.”

He just grinned.

“Actually, I’m here to see someone. Can you tell me what room Max Evans is staying in?”

He hesitated. “Actually, we’re not supposed to give that information out.”

“No?”

He shook his head, and she could tell he was very disappointed he couldn’t help. “I’m sorry Liz.”

“Well, could you call his room, and let him know I’m here. I really need to see him.”

His eyes brightened. “Yes! That I can do. Max Evans, right?”

Liz nodded and was happy to see his reaction. He really was very nice, but a little over the top at times.

She heard his end of the conversation as she assumed Max answered his phone.

“Mr. Evans? This is the front desk. You have a visitor … Yes, Liz Parker … Would you like her to come up, sir? … Alright … yes … you’re welcome.”

He hung up his phone and turned to Liz. “He’s expecting you. Room 525. If you take that elevator,” he said, pointing behind Liz, “Carl can take you up.”

Liz gave Jerry a genuine smile. “Thank you Jerry.”

She could feel his eyes on her as she walked away, and felt a wave of pity that his adoration was so misplaced.

She walked up the to elevator Jerry had pointed out, and Carl nodded in greeting. Liz hesitated, suddenly unsure. It seemed to be a private elevator with a bench along the far wall and mirrors and soft music playing.

“Um, room 525?” She hadn’t meant for her voice to be so unsteady.

“My pleasure,” Carl said with a friendly nod. Liz stood next to him and felt the elevator pull upward. She watched the numbers above the door light up. She wondered how high up Max’s room was. Weren’t the rooms on the upper floors more expensive?

The elevator came to a soft halt, and the doors slid open to an elegant hallway.

“Room 525 is down the hall and on your right, ma’am.”

“Thank you,” she said softly.

She walked slowly, taking in everything around her. She had always thought the Holiday Inn was a tourist trap with continental breakfasts and family discounts. But seeing the fresh flowers, beautiful paintings, and antique furniture, she thought differently.

How much money could Max afford to spend on a hotel room, she wondered? If she had to guess, it felt like a penthouse setting. But that couldn’t be. If he had that much money, wouldn’t he stay at a nicer hotel? Or at least eat at a nicer restaurant than the Gateway Café. But he did leave her twenty-dollar tips on more than one occasion, she reasoned. Maybe she didn’t know as much about him as she thought.

Liz found the door elegantly labeled 525 with the numbers stenciled onto the door with gold-tinted paint. She stood there for a moment, the internal battle within her at its very peak. Did she really want to do this? Did she really want to let him go before she even had him? If she could have him, that is. He might not even want her to begin with.

She sighed heavily, more confused than ever, and knocked.

Her eyebrows furrowed when she thought she heard a muffled curse through the door, and then suddenly the door opened, and there stood Max … with a badly bruised left eye and broken nose.

“Oh Max!” Her hands flew to cover her mouth when she saw him. She hadn’t thought he would be this bad off. He had insisted he would be fine and that it wasn’t that bad. Looking at him now, she fought the urge to rush him to the hospital and demand every test under the sun to rule out brain damage or internal bleeding.

“It … it looks worse than it feels, really.”

“A-Are you all right?” she stumbled, caught off guard by his appearance. The speech she had prepared was now the furthest thing from her mind.

He smiled that smile that turned her knees to jelly, and even with his damaged face, she thought he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

“Is this why you came over? To check up on me?” He wasn’t at all condescending or annoyed. In fact, he sounded amused, pleased even.

She shrugged with a smile on her face. “Can you blame me? My baby ruined your face!”

He laughed than and opened the door, silently inviting her in. She entered without a second thought.

His room was much the same as the hallway, with expensive, oversized furniture and elegant drapery. It was somewhat darkened, with only one lamp on and the curtains closed. There was a small kitchen area to her right, the living room with a full entertainment center just in front of her, and she guessed that the bedroom and bath were down the hall.

She had never seen a hotel room with so many rooms. The only hotel rooms she had stayed in usually had two queen size beds and a bathroom. How much more expensive would this be, she wondered?

Their eyes met and lingered for several moments. It wasn’t an uncomfortable stare, but Liz’s heart still raced in her chest.

He hadn’t been expecting her and when the front desk had called his room informing him that Liz was asking to come up, he had delightfully accepted. After hanging up the phone, he had hastily attempted to straighten up the room, and managed to hit his shin on the coffee table when she had knocked.

After several quiet minutes, Max finally spoke.

“Not that I mind, but … why are you here Liz?”

Liz hesitated. She wasn’t so sure anymore. Why was she here?

“Well, um … I got off my shift early, and I thought I’d come by and … you know, make sure you’re okay. And its obvious you aren’t.”

He shook his head. “I’m fine, really. Don’t worry about me. How is Rachel, by the way?”

“She’s great,” she said with a smile. “She loves her bear.”

“Oh good! So, um … can I get you something to drink?”

Liz nodded, “Yeah, sure.”

“What would you like? I got some diet soda, juice, iced tea, coffee, water…”

“Water’s fine.”

When he returned with two glasses, she gratefully took hers and casually walked into the living area as Max trailed behind her. He pointed as if to offer her a seat. The sofa was a chocolate brown leather and when she sat it was the most comfortable thing she had ever felt.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment.

“So…” Max started.

He stared at her without realizing it. To say he was surprised to see her was an understatement. They hadn’t planned to see each other today. She had plans to work, and he called his college friend Michael Guerin hoping to spend some time with him while he was in town. They had made plans to catch up tomorrow night at a local bar that Michael had raved about. Max had warned him about his face, and all Michael had done was laugh and say, “More women for me, I guess.” Max left out the part about not needing any women, that he had already found one.

Max had spent most of the day avoiding any human contact. His battered face really did look horrible. He had ventured downstairs early in the morning for a daily paper, and after receiving frightened stares from everyone he passed, he decided that secluding himself was the best choice, at least until the swelling and bruising went down a bit.

“Its good to see you again.”

She nodded, mulling over her drink in her hands. Her doubts were paramount. He had been so sincere in his feelings for her and Rachel. He was taking everything so well, how could she break his heart? How could she break her own?

Max saw her contemplative expression, and said, “You look like you have something to say.”

Liz sighed heavily. There was no turning back now.

“Max … I need to ask you something.”

“Alright.”

She never looked up from her drink as she asked, “What are your intentions?”

“Intentions,” he said blankly.

She nodded. “Yes, intentions. You’re passing through on your way home to New Mexico. Why are you … why do you want to spend time with me?”

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m a little confused. If I remember correctly … you asked me out.”

“Yes I did, and I don’t regret it. But … all I was expecting was a nice date with a handsome man. I never expected him to ask for a second.”

He mulled over her words as she spoke them, storing them away in case he would need them later. She hadn’t been expecting a second date with him. That probably meant she hadn’t expected him to say yes to the first. Why, he asked himself? Why wouldn’t he want to see her?

“Why?”

“Because I can’t give you want you want.”

He had a smile on his face. “You know what I want?”

She blushed, but that didn’t stop her. “You know what I mean,” she said. Their words were light and friendly, as opposed to tense and heartbreaking which was what she had been expecting. Odd that he would use it as an open forum when she was so sure he would either get mad and kick her out or sit in shock. She hadn’t expected him to take it so well.

“You have this whole other life in New Mexico. I love spending time with you, but … its not healthy, this pretending we do. We go on a date and pretend that it can lead to something more. I think it’s pretty obvious I can’t give that to you.”

He sat back against the sofa, feeling as if her words had physically struck him. “So, you’re saying that you don’t want a serious relationship.”

She hesitated. Was that what she was saying? She honestly couldn’t remember now. Just his presence was distracting. “Um, no … Max we live in different states. That’s not really conducive to a healthy relationship. You know, I need something stable and … and honest. We both deserve that. Rachel deserves that.”

He nodded. She was right, Rachel did deserve that. But he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from her. She was beautiful in her Capri pants and pink tank top, casual yet sexy. She seemed nervous and he assumed it was because of his appearance. Max averted his gaze at that thought. He didn’t want to make her even more uncomfortable.

Another wave of pain rolled over him, which was a frequent occurrence since the previous day, and brought his hand up to his forehead. His eyes crumpled in pain.

“Are you sure you feel all right?” she asked, sensing his distress.

“Yeah, yeah. It’ll pass in a minute.”

She turned to face him on the couch and brought her hand up to his cheek, her concern higher than before. “Max, maybe you should see a doctor. At least take something for the pain.”

“I took some Tylenol a couple of hours ago. Really, its not as bad as before.”

“That doesn’t mean its any better.”

Neither realized how close they were, or how one unconsciously sought out the other. It was natural. It was right. Like it was meant to be.

He looked at her because he couldn’t help it. She was right; she and Rachel needed something stable and honest just like she said.

“Liz…”

“Yes, Max.”

He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he would stay for her, that he wanted her and Rachel in his life forever. But instead, he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. She responded slowly, and he could tell she was still hesitant. And at least now, he knew why.

“No,” she mumbled into his lips, and pulling away.

“No?” Max asked breathlessly, still in his Liz-induced haze.

“I … we can’t do this. Not like this.” She stood from her seat next to him. Her limbs shook with suppressed energy and her heart reeled against pulling away.

She quickly turned towards the door. She needed to get out, away from Max, as soon as possible, before she did something she couldn’t take back later … something she might not want to take back later.

“Liz,” he called after her. “Liz, wait!”

She didn’t stop until the door shut behind her with a cold thud.



TBC...

Sorry for the delay. My computer was acting up. Hope you enjoy!


The End of The World
Nina Gordon

Why does the sun go on shining
Why does the sea rush to shore
Don't they know it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me any more

Why do the birds go on singing
Why do the stars glow above
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything's the same as it was
I can't understand, no, I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does

Why does my heart go on beating
Why do these eyes of mine cry
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye

Why does my heart go on beating
Why do these eyes of mine cry
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye



Part 9

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The fact that he was finally able to leave his hotel room without alarming anyone with his appearance wasn’t a help. Neither was meeting Michael for drinks in a loud bar. Getting fresh air didn’t mean a damn now. Getting a drink was certainly appealing, but would only cover the pain for a night. And eating was out of the question, considering his stomach was looking to be permanently unsettled.

Max entered the bar with a sour taste in his mouth and a cheerless look on his face, the same look that had resided there since Liz walked out of the door and out of his life.

Spending the night alone after she fled the room had quite possibly been the worst night of his life, even superseding his grandfather’s death. Knowing that Liz was pulling away was the single most heart-wrenching thing he had ever experienced. He had grown up with a somewhat hard childhood, having to work for everything he had, living by the motto ‘all work and no play.’ But it had turned out all right in the end. And now Max would very willingly give it all back for just one more night with Liz.

She hadn’t returned his calls. She wouldn’t talk to him or let him explain. Her mother Nancy had adamantly denied him entrance into the apartment above the Crashdown. Nothing was working, especially now his heart.

The bell dinged his entry into the bar and the ruckus hit him in the head … literally.

The lighting was low and the tables were full. The bar itself was quite busy, lined with younger patrons requesting refills or cutting jokes with the attractive staff. The older customers were seated at the tables where busty women served alcohol and appetizers.

He spotted Michael seated by the bar on the far corner by the wall, and slowly wound his way through the crowd.

Michael Guerin, his long time friend from college, certainly hadn’t changed much, Max realized. His hair was still long and unruly and his demeanor was still gruff but laidback. His clothes were worn for comfort not style. Michael knew when to have fun and when to take action. He had made it clear tonight would be about fun, and that was exactly what Max needed.

“Michael. Its been a while,” Max semi-yelled at his friend while patting him on the shoulder. The music from the surround stereo system was making it hard to think let alone hold a conversation.

“Maxwell! It’s about time. How’ve ya been?” That’s when he got a good look at Max. “Jesus, what happened to your face?”

“Long story.” Max took a seat to the left of Michael and ordered a Bud Light.

“So, what are you doing in St. Louis?”

“Passing through. I took some time off to travel. I was heading back to New Mexico when I thought I’d stop to see what trouble you’ve gotten yourself into. You don’t need my legal advice for anything, do you?” Max asking with a knowing smirk on his face.

Michael laughed. “No, not lately. Thank God.”

“That’s good. Last time you called me you were in jail for … what was it again, oh yeah! Disorderly Conduct.”

“And Intoxication. Don’t forget Intoxication.”

“How could I? You were only slurring every word.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Liz honey, are you alright?”

She sniffed into her pillow and nodded. The room had been kept dark all day and into the night. Her eyes were swollen from crying her eyes dry. Her head ached from her grief and her heart was broken, maybe for good. But this time, it was different. This time it was her fault.

“Yeah, Mom. I’m fine.”

She heard her mother sigh, and she knew that Nancy didn’t believe a word of it. But she didn’t call Liz on her white lie either. “Maria’s here. She wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay.”

Liz sat up gingerly and reached for a tissue on her nightstand. It happened to be the last one of the third box. The previously used tissues lay on the floor at her feet. Three boxes in about twenty-four hours. That was a new record.

Maria entered silently and closed the door behind her. Liz was faced with her back toward Maria, her head hung low, and her tears still forming. Maria shook her head. It never failed … Liz was always willing to spare her happiness for someone else’s. Even if that meant she would never be happy again.

“Hey. How’re ya feelin’?”

Liz leaned her head on Maria’s shoulder when her friend found a seat on the bed.

“Awful.”

Maria nodded in understanding, and brought her hand up to Liz’s shoulder. “Yeah, I can tell.”

They sat in silence for a minute. Maria knew eventually the floodgates would open and Liz would tell her exactly what was wrong. It was only a matter of time.

Sure enough, not thirty seconds later, Liz spoke in a hoarse, grief-stricken voice. “I miss him Maria. I don’t know why, but I miss him so much.”

“Babe, what happened?”

Liz sighed heavily. “I went to his hotel room to talk. I was going to tell him how he shouldn’t stay … how he shouldn’t get anyone’s hopes up for nothing. I was going to let him go … and that’s when he kissed me.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Maria asked.

“Not a bad thing. It was … it was a very good thing. But it wasn’t appropriate. It made me forget things,” she muttered the last statement under her breath, more to herself than Maria.

Maria’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “Forget? Forget what?”

“It made me forget everything that’s happened to me up this point.” She pulled up and looked at Maria, hoping she would understand, hoping she could explain it. “It made me forget about Kyle, and … and being alone. It made me forget about putting off school and working downstairs as a waitress and being a single mother. It made be forget everything but … everything but him.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, what have you been up to?” Max asked, after they had thoroughly discussed Max’s inheritance … at great length … every gory detail, thanks to Michael’s nosiness.

“Not much,” Michael said, evasively. “I did make an investment not too long ago.”

“Really? In what?”

Michael turned and grinned. “You’re sittin’ in it pal.”

His meaning eluded Max for a minute. And then, “The bar? You own this bar?”

“Uh huh. I am the proud owner of Riverfront Bar, as of about eight months ago.” He noticed Max looking around, taking the scenery in. “What do you think?”

Max shook his head in astonishment. “I can’t believe it. The guy I was always getting out of trouble in college … owns a bar. How ironic is that? You got a bouncer?”

“Yeah, his name's Brock.”

“This place is really busy. You must bring in some cash, huh?”

“I don’t do that bad,” Michael replied.

The bar was crowded, Max noticed. The bar was full, the tables were packed. The employees were busy getting drinks. He compared this bar to the one he worked in while he was in law school. If this bar did half the business that one did, Michael Guerin would be a rich man.

A waitress walked past them, and she caught Max’s eye. But not because he was attracted or interested. He took notice of her long, brown hair. Her petite frame. Her shy smile. Her expressive eyes. Even the lip-gloss she wore was the same.

Michael, of course, noticed. “Her name’s Cindy. You want me to introduce you?”

Max shook his head, his depression back now that the Liz look-alike had broken the spell. “No. No thanks.”

“You sure? She’s single.”

But Max wasn’t paying attention anymore. He stared into his fresh glass of Bud Light. Suddenly he wasn’t feeling so well.

“Max?” That’s when Michael saw it. The puppy dog eyes, the sad droop to his mouth. “Oh no. Don’t tell me. Not again?!”

Max just nodded and took a big gulp of his alcoholic beverage.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, maybe you’re allowed to forget for a while. You’ve been carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders for the past two years. I think you’re entitled.”

“Its not that.” Liz moved away, and stood in front of her window looking out to the street below. Where was he right now? Did he leave already? Did he hate her? Did he wish he had never met her?

“Then what is it?”

Liz turned and looked at the tissue in her hand instead of at her best friend.

“You didn’t see where he was staying Maria.”

“He’s staying at the Holiday Inn. What are you talking about?”

“He was staying in a penthouse suite. Jerry was working, I asked him. You know how much those go for a night?”

Maria shook her head in thought. “Two … three hundred?”

“Eight hundred dollars a night.”

“What is your point?”

She counted off the reasons on her fingers. “He left me twenty dollar tips. He drives a brand new Trailblazer. He took a year off to travel the country. He went to law school at Harvard.” When it was clear Maria wasn’t following, she added, “He’s rich, Maria! He’s filthy rich.”

“Okay, these all sound like excuses to hang on to him, not push him away.”

Liz shook her head in exasperation. “He’s too good. He’s too good.”

“He’s too good? Or he’s too good for you?”

Liz didn’t answer.

“Liz! When are you going to believe that you’re worth something?! You deserve to be happy, damn it.”

“Maybe,” Liz said in a small voice. “But Max deserves better.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Well, when did this happen?”

“About five days ago.”

Michael whistled. “Damn she works fast. Who is she?”

“This waitress at the Gateway Café. Her name’s Liz Parker.”

Michael waited a beat before he ventured his question, even though he was relatively certain he already knew the answer. “You love her, don’t you?”

Max sighed, and then nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

“Maxwell, how can you love someone in five days? Its not possible.”

“I didn’t think so either. Not until I met her.” He paused while he finished off his drink. “She’s amazing, man.”

“How amazing?” he asked. And then his eyes lit up. “You didn’t bang her, did ya?”

Max grimaced at Michael’s insinuation. “No Michael. She’s not like that.”

“Well, what is she like then?”

How was Max supposed to answer that without sounding like an idiot in love … which he was anyway?

“She’s … she’s perfect. God I sound like an idiot. But its true, her and Rachel are perfect.”

Michael cleared his throat. “Rachel?”

Max rolled his eyes. “Don’t be perverted. Rachel is her daughter.”

“You’re in love with a single mom? You could have any woman in the world, and you chose a single mom from St. Louis, Missouri? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Max shrugged and gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I’m an idiot in love with a woman who doesn’t want me. Sound familiar?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Maybe you deserve better. Did you ever think of that?”

“Maria, please.”

“No, I’ve had it.” She was through trying to convince Liz she was a good person, or worthy of love or even happiness. She was going to drill it into Liz’s brain whether she wanted to believe it or not.

“I am going to say this with all the love I have for you. You are the stupidest person I have ever met.”

Liz sat hard on the bed in disbelief. Excuse me? she thought. Her mouth hung open in shock.

Maria’s arms were flailing in excitement as she paced the room. “You are so smart when it comes to school and responsibilities and friends and even money. But I swear, when it comes to love you lose it. I don’t even know who you are when you say things like that. He deserves better my ass. You deserve to be happy Elizabeth Claudia Parker. And if you don’t start realizing that soon, you’ll wind up alone and heart broken for the rest of your life.”

Liz wasn’t saying anything, which was fine with Maria because she had plenty more to say.

“Do you want to give Kyle the satisfaction of ruining your life? Because that’s the road you’re currently on. I know, life hasn’t been easy. And I know, you had to grow up a lot faster than other people your age. But don’t let that be an excuse to close yourself up and never love again.

“Even if it isn’t with Max, you have to let yourself feel something other than grief and self-hatred. You’re better than that. The sooner you start realizing that, the sooner your life will turn for the better.”

Maria stepped closer and lowered her voice. “I can’t bear to see you so sad. Especially when you’re the one who did it.”

Liz only lowered her head.

Maria caught her breath, and picked up her purse.

“I think I’ve given you enough to think about. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Liz nodded. “I love you girl.”

As she passed her nightstand, a piece of paper caught her attention. She picked it up, and then handed it to Liz.
Max’s cell. 555-9748

“Call him,” she said before the door shut behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hell yes it sounds familiar. It took you … what? Three, no four months to get over Tess.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“And the only reason you finally broke up with her was because you caught her banging that guy from the football team. Damn, what was his name?” he asked himself.

“Marc Giantis.”

“That’s it. You haven’t looked this bad since that night I caught you tearing up the roses you bought her.” He was trying not to laugh at the memory, but failed miserably. “You were bawling your eyes out. It was the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I’m so glad my shame and humiliation amuse you.”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna start crying now. I seriously don’t need that reputation. This is not that kind of bar, man.”

Max shook his head with a reluctant smile on his face. “I’m not going to cry.”

“So what happened? She kick you to the curb? Use you and abuse you?”

“I don’t even know what happened. One day we’re having a fantastic date with Rachel in the park, and the next she’s basically saying she never wants to see me again.”

“Bummer.” A beat. “Was it because of your face?”

Leave it to Michael, Max thought.

“No. Actually it was kind of her fault that I got my nose broken.”

Michael snorted is amazement. “Chicks.”

Their conversation was interrupted when Max’s cell phone rang.



TBC...

A/N: For the life of me I couldn't think of a better name for the bar. if anyone has a suggestion, please...feel free to suggest. I guess I'm not as creative as I thought.

~Sarah