Roswell Fanatics

Title: Monday Morning

Author: GraceisGone26

Rating: Mature (I may change this to Adult)

Category: M/L, however it is going to be bumpy and rough.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Roswell!

Summary: What happens when your one true love is taken away from you, can your broken heart be healed?


~*~Chapter 1~*~

Monday, April 21, 2008

The room was dark yet cozy, just the way she liked it. The light hurt her eyes and he was trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. The drapes were drawn and the only light coming into the room was from the bathroom.

She had been sleeping most of the day and she woke up to find her beautiful husband asleep next to her. She listened to the steady sound of his breathing. He had always snored lightly but these days he slept so soundly. She took a moment to take in his face.

At twenty-seven he looked aged. He had dark circles under his eyes, and they were puffy. He had kept up with his body, working out everyday, so his muscles were toned and he was in shape. His body however was tired, that much she knew.

She lifted her heavy hand to brush the hair out of his face. He had let his hair go over the last couple of months and he was in desperate need of a hair cut.

She felt him stir beneath her hand and as he opened his eyes she smiled. He took a few moments to collect himself and he took her hand and kissed her palm.

“Hello beautiful” she smiled as much as she could, she would never get tired of hearing him call her beautiful.

“Morning, you need a hair cut.” She smiled and he shook his head. He looked at the clock and sighed, it was two in the morning.

“You should get some rest” he got out of bed and walked to her side to make sure that everything was in order. He had learned enough to know what she needed, when she needed it.

He checked her medicine, the water in her glass, the IV bag. He made sure all the tube lines into her body were straight and then made sure her pillows were fluffed. He straightened out the comforter lying on top of her and then pushed her hair out of her face.

She grabbed his hand and held it in hers, the tears pooling in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry” he looked at her, smiled, and climbed into the bed with her. He knew that he should sleep on the trundle bed he had bought for himself, but tonight he wanted to be close to her. He wanted to feel her body next to his.

“Why are you sorry?” he knew what she was going to say, but he didnt want to stop her.

“For everything” he kissed her lips and smiled down at her.

“You never have to be sorry.” She smiled and closed her eyes.

“Sleep baby, just sleep" He watched as she closed her eyes slipping into sleep.

He watched as her breathing deepened and the rasp continued. The doctor said that would happen near the end. Her breathing would become thick, heavy, labored. He looked at the clock and wondered how much time they really had.

He wanted to sleep and close his eyes, but he was afraid. He was afraid that she would slip from him as he slept, he wouldn’t miss that moment, he couldn’t miss that moment.

He picked up the magazine on the table and continued to read. He found it funny that now he was reading the girl magazines, it was his way to bond with her, get closer to her. It was a way for him to try and help her.

~*~*~*~*~

He wasn’t sure what time it was when he felt the ice cold hand on his shoulder. He jumped quickly and turned to face his sister.

“Isabel you scared the crap out of me” he could hear his heart in his ears and he was sure that Isabel could hear it too.

“Sorry, I came to bring you coffee” she held out the cup to him and he took it and smelled the cup.

“Isabel, what would I do without you” she smiled and went to the window. She pulled the curtains back letting the light stream into the room. Usually it was dark in the room, light was not allowed.

“She wants to see the sun this morning.” Max looked to his wife and smiled. She was asleep now, but he knew that she had been awake, watching him while he slept.

“When did she go back to sleep?” Isabel looked at the clock and then to Max.

“Sometime when I was making coffee, I came into check on her and she was wide awake watching your snore.” He nodded and took a sip of the coffee.

“I don’t snore and this is good Isabel”

“Thank you, and yes you do snore, but it is soft so you don’t wake anyone.” She winked at him and he smiled back at her drinking the coffee.

“Why don’t you go have a shower and I will sit with her.” Max stared up at her and she knew what he was going to ask.

“I took my vacation from work, I needed to be here. I needed to be with you and with her. Besides they knew that I would still be working.” Isabel checked the lines into his wife’s arm; she checked the bag noticing that it needed to be changed in the next hour.

“What about Alex?” she smiled changing the drip on the I.V.

“Alex understands” Max looked at his sister and smiled. She was happy. She had found the love of her life, the man that would do anything for her, and the man that she would walk down the isle with in six months.

“I will go take a shower, but you had better come and get me if anything changes” he let the blanket fall off his lap and he stretched when he stood up.

“You know I will” she watched as he walked off to the spare bedroom and she let her breath out.
She looked to her sister-in-law and saw her eyes open, watching the rain through the bedroom window.

“Isabel?” Isabel quickly went to her side.

“Hi sweetie, do you need something for the pain” she nodded signaling that she didn’t.

“Where is Max?”

“The shower, he smelled” she watched as the tiny girl let out a laugh that sounded like it hurt.

“I could smell him over here.” Isabel laughed and was glad that her spunky sister-in-law hadn’t lost her humor.

“Ha ha” they both smiled and Isabel took her hand.

“Isabel, I need you to look after him for me.” Isabel nodded and let the tears pool in her eyes.

“You know I will.”

“Make sure that he doesn’t stay locked up in the house, staying to himself. Make him go out.” She squeezed Isabel’s hand harder.

“Please” there was desperation in her eyes, in her voice. Isabel knew she needed to hear that Max would be taken care of; she would tell her anything at this point.

“I will watch out for him, I will make sure he doesn’t go into hiding.”

“Thank you, don’t let him mourn me.” she swallowed and looked at Isabel again. Isabel wasn’t sure how that would be accomplished, but she would try.

“One more thing?”

“Any thing”

“Be happy Isabel. I hope that you and Alex have what Max and I have. I hope that you cherish each other, and always love each other. Life is too short.” Isabel wiped the tears from her eyes and pushed the hair out of her face.

“I will, I love you, you know that” she smiled

“I love you too, I couldn’t have asked for a better sister in law”

“Me either” she bent down and kissed her forehead. She took the cool washrag on the table and wiped at her fore head.

“Rest”, she pulled the covers up closer to her chin and walked back to the chair.

It wasn’t long before the rasping started and Isabel knew it wasn’t going to be long. She after all was a nurse, and the rasp was a signal that it was time.

Max walked in from the bathroom and heard the all too familiar sound. He wanted it to go away, he wanted her breathing to be normal, and he wanted her to be normal.

He looked at his sister and saw the tears in her eyes. He took her into his arms and held her.

“Did she tell you to look out for me?” Isabel nodded and he smiled.

“Even now she is more worried about me than herself” he looked at his wife and back at his sister.

“How long Iz?” she shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know it could be minutes, hours, maybe even days. It is a matter of waiting.” Max knew that, he had been waiting with her for a few days now. He hoped she slipped away in her sleep; he didn’t want her to suffer anymore than she had.

Max walked to the bed and touched his wife’s face. Her hand instinctively came up to meet his.

“I love you” he smiled, he was cherishing the times she said that. He wanted to record it so he could hear it time and time again.

“I love you too” he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She hadn’t had the strength to kiss back, but today she did, with a fierceness that scared him.

“It is raining” he looked out the window at the rain drizzling down the sliding glass door. She had wanted to see the sun; he wanted the sun for her.

“I know, and you wanted to see the Sun.” she smiled and let his hand roam her face.

“The sun will be here.” He looked out the window and didn’t see how that was possible.

“Max?”

“Yeah baby?”

“Promise me something?”

“Anything” She opened her eyes and looked at him, taking in his features. She needed to tell him this, she needed to make sure that he would be ok.

“Don’t stay locked up in the house, go out and enjoy life. I don’t want you staying in mourning me” the tears were pooling in his eyes, how could she ask this of him?

“Baby…”

“Please Max, I can’t go until I know you are going to be ok.” he smiled and bent down to kiss her forehead, the tears were streaming down his face.

“I promise, and baby you can go. I’m going to be alright.” she smiled and took a deep breath.

“Look after my dad?”

“You know I will” he took her small hand in his larger hand and kissed it.

“I love you; I’ve loved you for most of my life. I remember when I first saw you. You were talking to Isabel and I purposely bumped into you. You didn’t even know what hit you.” She chuckled and the tears simply streamed down his face.

“I knew from that moment that I was going to love you.” He whispered to her.

“Forever”

“Forever and for always,” she let her hand trace his face feeling the stubble of his unshaved cheek.

“Look Max, the sun” he turned his head to watch the sun come peeking through the clouds.

“Well look at that ...the sun came out just for you.” He turned to look at her as the last breath left her body.

“Baby…” He hadn’t been prepared for this. They had talked him about this, given him tips, but no one could prepare him to watch his wife leave this world.

He watched as Isabel took her pulse, the tears streaming down her face.

“She’s gone” that was it, he had expected more. He didn’t know it was going to be like this, to be this hard. All of the tears he had been holding in for the last three years were falling down his face.

Isabel watched as her brother lay down on the bed next to his wife and she quietly excused herself from the room. She would need to make the phone calls.

Max laid there, his head on her chest, holding her hand. “I love you, forever and for always”

He watched as the clouds covered the sun and the rain came pouring down. The heavens had opened, taking the one thing from him that meant the most. The heavens had taken his wife, his soul.

Wow, thank you for the wonderful feedback. And yes there is a reason her name isnt mentioned! I asked to have this fic moved to Alien Abyss and soon you will understand why. Thank you again.

forever dreamer
keepsmiling7
Natalie36
Hunter
Addicted2AmberEyes
sarammlover
begonia9508
Emz80m
dreamer19

~*~Monday, April 28, 2008~*~

This was how it was wasn’t it. What his life was like alone. He stared up at the empty house and sighed. This was her dream house, the one he had built for her, the house they were supposed to grow old in. It was the house she had died in.

Max walked up the stairs and admired the beautiful plants. She was an avid gardener and she always made sure her plants were taken care of. Isabel had obviously been watering them. He wanted her to stop, didn’t she know they needed to be dead, just like his wife.

Max looked at the door contemplating whether or not to go in. The house didn’t know that she was gone. The house would be the same, it would be inviting, and it would be like nothing was missing. But, something was missing, she was missing. .

His head hit the stained glass window in the door, the tears streaming down his face. He had so many questions, so many answers he wanted, but there was no one to ask.

He turned the door knob and entered the house. It was quite and peaceful unlike the past week with everyone in and out. He had wanted peace when the noise was invading, but now he longed for more than just the sound of his breathing.

He took in his surroundings. The drapes were drawn but there was a sickening yellow light invading the space, it reminded him of his grandma’s house in the late afternoons.

What he was supposed to do now. Was he supposed to pack her things, or leave them? He laughed, they had a person to help you deal with death, to deal with your grief, but they didn’t have a person to tell you when it was time to pack away the memories.

His foot pushed the door closed behind him as he loosened his tie. He threw his jacket on the couch; he waited for her voice to tell him to hang it in the closet. "Jackets don’t belong on the couch Max" but he didn’t hear it.

The liquor cabinet immediately caught his eye. They were social drinkers and they had kept alcohol in the house for such occasions. This was not a social occasion but it definitely required alcohol. He flung the cabinet open and found a half empty bottle of scotch.

He didn’t bother with a glass even though he could hear her saying "Max use a glass, that is why they were created". As he took a swig from the bottle he felt the warm liquid burn his throat.

Max took another drink and didn’t feel the burn as much. He walked into the small room off to the side of the kitchen. He walked to her room.

When they were planning the house, she requested a room of her own. She wanted a place where she could read and write and just be herself.

He opened the door that had remained close for the last two months. The walls were a chocolate color and the furniture a crisp white. The room screamed her name. The walls were lined with her books and music.

Her notebook was on the desk, it was left open to the last page she had written in. The pen was still there between the pages holding them down. He picked up the book and fingered the pages.

They were soft, fabric like and her beautiful handwriting was covering half the page. However, he didn’t have the heart to read her thoughts, they were after all her private thoughts.

He walked by the built in shelves fingering the books. They had collected dust due to the time not used. He took another drink from the bottle as he looked at the picture on the shelf. It was a picture of the two of them. They were staring at each other; they hadn’t even noticed Michael taking the picture.

Picking up the frame he studied the lines, the perfection of her face. She was smiling her famous smile while looking at him. This is how it was supposed to be for them, lost in each other. He saw the water pooling on the frame and quickly threw it against the wall. He watched as the glass frame shattered when it hit the wall.

Wiping his eyes he quickly scanned the room for all the pictures. One by one he started to tear them off the wall. He threw them, stomped on them. He simply wanted them gone. He didn’t want to see her and know that she wasn’t going to come back to him.

He then moved to the books on the shelves. He ran his hands along the tops and sides of the books and threw them on the floor. He wanted them to break, he wanted them to disappear. Wasn’t that better, if there was no sign of her in the house, it would be like she had never been there.

A sob escaped his throat and he hit the wall exhausted. He let his body slump to the floor, the bottle still in his hand.

He started to laugh as he studied the fallen books and the broken glass. What would she think of this? Wasn’t this what he promised her he wouldn’t do?

“Why her?” he looked to the ceiling expecting some sort of answer. Wasn’t that what he deserved. He deserved to know why she had been taken from him. When nothing happened he started to scream.

“WHY HER? WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU? WHAT did she do?” he let his head hang and wiped at his face as his voice faded out. When his hand fell back to his side he noticed the black and white photo peeking through the broken glass.

Removing the picture from the broken glass Max studied it. He could still feel the tears flowing down his face. He didn’t know why they hadn’t stopped. He wanted them to stop; he wanted the tears to dry up. How much more could he cry.

He took another drink and slowly got up of the floor. Instead of the floor his hand came in contact with something sharp and he let out a gasp as a piece of glass sliced open his palm.

He looked at the red liquid flowing out of his hand and pinched his hand to stop the bleeding. He finished getting up and headed for the bathroom.

Turning on the faucet he let the water run over the cut. He watched as the water mixed with his blood turning the water a pinkish color.

Turning the faucet off he opened up the medicine cabinet and came to face to face with the medicine bottles and endless prescriptions. He swept his hand threw that as well listening to the sound of the bottles hitting the floor, the wall, and the tub. He slammed the glass door shut and watched as the glass broke and shattered into the sink.

“That is seven years bad luck” he looked up and stared at the woman in the mirror. He turned around to find he was alone.

He wouldn’t believe what his eyes had seen. Maybe he had been drinking too much.

“Humph” he looked on the floor of the bathroom and quickly found what he was looking for.

He picked the bandages and Neosporin off the floor and dressed his wound. He made sure that the bandage was tight before sitting on the toilet seat and drinking some more.

The bottle was dwindling when the loud thud of knocking punctured his ears.

“Go away” it was barley above a whisper. He knew whoever was on the other side could not hear.

The knocking continued and Max picked his head up off the sink.

“GO AWAY!” he screamed and the knocking stopped.

“Maxwell do not make me beat down the door” he shook his head, didn’t they know he was hurt, didn’t they know he was in pain? People in pain needed to be left alone.

He quickly got up and with his bottle in hand, headed for the front door. As he passed her room he pulled the door shut, there was no use in having someone see his pain.

He pulled the door open to find his brother at the door. “What?”

The first thing Michael noticed about Max was the empty liquor bottle in his hand. The second thing he noticed was the blood on his shirt.

“Max…” he didn’t get to finish before Max glared.

“Why are you here Michael?” he didn’t mean to sound so rude, everything just seemed to come that way this week.

“Max everyone is worried. They are having the luncheon at mom and dad’s and people want to pay their respects” He laughed, he was sure those were his mothers words, not Michaels.

He finally stepped aside allowing Michael to enter the house. He knew that Michael would not go away even if Max had asked him to.

“Mike, I don’t want to be there. They have pictures, and memories and I don’t want everyone coming up to me telling me they are sorry” he took another drink only to find the bottle empty.

“What happened to your hand?” Max looked down at his hand and headed to the cabinet to get more liquor.

“I cut it on glass” Michael looked around the kitchen for the broken glass. Max took notice of this and pointed to the room.

Michael turned the doorknob and took in the sight in front of him. The once tidy room was littered with photos, glass, and books.

“This isn’t what she wanted for you” this was not his brother; this wasn’t anyone that he knew.

“How would you know? Did she tell you what she wanted?"

"No but Max this isnt healthy"

"How do you know what is healhy? DID YOUR WIFE DIE? WAS YOUR WIFE TAKEN FROM YOU? NO, SO HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HEALTHY AND WHAT ISNT?" the second the words left his mouth he wished he hadn't said them.

“You’re right, I didn’t lose my wife, but I lost my friend, my sister-in-law, my family.” He looked up at Michael the tears threatening to spill.

“I’m sorry Michael. I knew it would be hard, but not this hard” he didn’t want Michael to see him cry.

“Max, let us be here for you. You can’t do it alone” he shook his head and took another drink from the bottle.

He watched as Michael walked over to him putting his hand on his shoulder.

“Max, we are always here, always willing to help.” He watched as Michael walked out the door and back to his perfect life.

Max looked around the room taking everything in. The whole house was their life. He found a picture of the six of them together and he walked over to it.

He picked up the photo and immediately found her. She was smiling from her wheelchair looking happier than he had seen her in the months preceding the picture.

Could he really rely on the other four people to help him. Could he share his pain with them and let them heal him.

It didn’t taken him long to put the thought out of his head and turn the picture face down so he didn’t have to look at the happiness that radiated from the pictures.

He quickly walked the rest of the house taking pictures off the wall listening to the sound of breaking glass and dying memories.

He then moved to the bedroom. Isabel had removed all of the medical supplies. The IV stand was gone, the oxygen tank and mask. Everything that reminded him of her sickness was gone, just like she was.

He wanted to destroy things in this room, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to destroy what they shared.

Max looked at the bed and titled his head. It was made, he was sure that Isabel had done that too. He pulled back the covers on her side of the bed and crawled in wrapping the comforter around him. It still smelled like her, not her medicine, not her sickness, just her.

He closed his eyes and let the scent envelope him. “You can’t keep doing this” he opened his eyes.

Her beautiful eyes were staring back at him. There was no smile on her face, but he could tell she was happy.

“This is the only way I can keep seeing you” she brushed his bangs away her long fingers gracefully tracing his jaw.

“You need to heal”

“I need you” she smiled

“You have me. I’m always here Max, right here” she touched his chest and he felt alive.

"Sleep" she kissed his forhead and he took a deep breath in. He let the warmth from her touch surround him and he drifted off into a restless sleep.

Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. I have been on vacation in San Diego and enjoyed myself a little to much, Comic Con is addicting. So I have written two parts, this one and one that I will post on Thursday. Oh, you will find out who Max’s wife is! Thanks again for the feedback and thank you lurkers!

Natalie36
keepsmiling7
Emz80m
begonia9508
forever dreamer
Hunter


Chapter 3

~*~Tuesday April 29, 2008~*~

The volatile clatter woke him out of his heavy slumber. His head ached, his throat burned and he was sure that his ears were about to burst. He wasn’t sure how much he had to drink but he knew it was too much.

He pried his eyes open and took in the surroundings of the bedroom. His hand instinctively reached out to touch the empty space next to him. It made his heart constrict to know that she wasn’t on the receiving end of that touch; it was just the vacant, cold bed.

He let his hand come into line with his face and he felt the throbbing in the wound. The bandage was bloody and he was sure that the cut needed stitches. He opened and closed his fist hoping to relieve the pain, but it only served to worsen the throbbing.

Rolling out of bed took some effort on Max’s part. The room seemed to spin as the tried to get out of bed and find his balance. It wasn’t long before he was steady and came face to face with his reflection in the mirror.

He was still dressed in his suit pants and dress shirt. His shoes were off and his mismatched socks were clearly noticeable.

“The least you could have done was wear socks that matched” he turned to look at the bed and found it empty. He shook his head and continued to study his appearance in the mirror.

Pulling the skin underneath his eyes down, he studied the red veins littering the whites of his eyes. The dark circles beneath his eyes had become slightly purple and his hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in days. He looked like hell, he felt like hell.

“I need a shower”

“Because I can smell you over here” he turned around again to find the room just as empty as it was before. It was obvious this was the worst hangover he had ever had.

He studied the bed noticing the mangled mess. The sheets were falling off his side of the bed and the comforter was so twisted he wondered how he had made it out of the bed. He stood there for a while just staring trying to determine whether or not to make the bed.

He knew that he would be getting back into it sooner rather than later and he didn’t want to make the bed. He turned toward the bathroom, a shower would do him some good.

~*~*~*~*

Thirty minutes later he emerged from the steaming room with a fresh set of clothes and combed hair.

He truly felt better and as he studied himself again in the full length mirror he thought he looked better too.

The clatter from the vacuum was just as strident as before and he grunted as he flung open the door to give Isabel a piece of his mind.

“Isabel what the…”

“Do not step one foot in that hallway without shoes” Isabel was at the end of the hallway with the vacuum in hand.

Not wanting to make her mad he quickly walked back into the bedroom and slipped on a pair of flip flops. He emerged again into the hallway to find that Isabel had disappeared.

He walked out to the family room making taking notice of the passage. All the glass had been cleaned up along with the pictures and broken frames. He looked around the foyer trying to see where his sister was but there was no sight of her. He headed to the kitchen table and sat down in his usual chair.

Isabel emerged again out of the other room with a bag of trash. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she had no make up on. It was obvious to Max that she had been crying but he knew that she had composed herself before he had walked out of the bedroom.

He watched as she slung the bag of broken glass onto the kitchen floor. She wiped her forehead with the front of her arm. Her eyes caught Max’s and she made a weak attempt to smile.

This really had been hard on her. He tended to forget that Isabel was the one that helped take care of her; she had been there when she had passed, and she had always been there. Isabel made her mission to take care of people, but he wondered if any one was taking care of her besides Alex.

Isabel didn’t stay in her spot for long. She hastily went to the kitchen to grab a cup and poured Max a hot cup of coffee.

“Do you want some breakfast?” he shook his head and took the cup from her shaking hands. He wondered how long it would be before she lost her composure again.

“Are you sure, I can whip something up?”

“No Iz, but thank you for the offer.” She shook her head and leaned against the kitchen counter opposite of her brother. She could feel the tears threatening to spill and she hoped that they wouldn’t.
“You know, I can clean this up myself” he had made the mess; he might as well be the one to clean it.

“It is already done. I just need to run the vacuum over the carpeted areas.”

“What did you do with all the pictures?” he was hoping she had tossed them, but he knew her better than that.

“I put them in a pile on the desk. I tried not to touch anything on her desk. You left that in tact so I figured there was a reason for it.” He didn’t say anything he just took another drink of his coffee.

“Isabel?”

“Yeah?” she looked at the shell of her brother and smiled. She had promised her sister-in-law that she wouldn’t let him be like this. She had promised that she would take care of him; she was doing a lousy job.

“Would you be willing to look at my hand, it is killing me” he raised his palm up to show her the bloodied bandage that covered his sore hand.

“Jesus Max” she left her cup on the counter and walked over examining his hand. “What did you do?”

“I cut it on the glass” she took the bandage off and examined the wound.

“That needs stitches.” He rolled his eyes, he didn’t want to go to the hospital, he hated the hospital. Isabel took notice of this and grabbed her cell phone.

“Hi Alex” he didn’t get to hear much more as the conversation was drowned out by his own thoughts. He didn’t even realize she was talking to him again until she nudged his shoulder.

“Earth to Max?” his head snapped up and shook his head

“Yeah?”

“Alex is waiting for us at the office.” He nodded and watched as Isabel grabbed her purse and her keys.

Max set his coffee on the counter and followed his sister out the door.

~*~*~*~

Alex’s office was bright and cozy. Normally the office was crawling with people but today it was empty. Max knew that the office had been closed for close to a week now. It made Max feel bad that Alex had shut down his world to help him take care of his.

“Hi baby” he smiled as he pulled Isabel into his arms. He kissed her lightly on the head and rubbed circles on her back.

Max had to look away. While he was happy for his sister, Alex was the other half of her heart, it hurt to see that he had lost that.

When Alex and Isabel pulled away he looked at Max. “Well let’s see your hand.” Max put his hand in front of Alex and he winced as Alex ran his finger along his palm.

“Well, lets get to an exam room” he led him down the hallway to a room at the back. Max had been in several rooms in this office but never in this one, and he was thankful for that.

He watched as Alex took out the instruments needed and put his glasses on his face. Max winced as Alex unwrapped the bandage from his hand.

The cut was red and was still bleeding. “It’s pretty deep, how did you manage this?” Alex looked up at him and Max winced.

“I decided to clean house.” Alex’s eyebrows raised in question. “Ok so I decided to destroy my house and in the process I cut my hand.”

“Want to talk about it?” Max was grateful for Alex. He was always there when he needed to talk and Alex seemed to understand him.

“I just…. I went into the house and it reminded me so much of her. I couldn’t handle it. I started to throw pictures, books, anything that reminded me of her. I made a real mess. Isabel was cleaning it up this morning.” He watched as Alex took some sort of solution and rinsed the cut. It stung and Max jerked his hand back.

“I know it stings, but if you don’t let me do this it will hurt a lot worse” Max let Alex have his hand and watched as he gracefully doctored his hand.

“Did you feel better after you trashed the place” the funny thing was is that he didn’t feel better; in fact it only made him feel worse.

“No. You know for a pulmonary specialist you do a great job stitching” Alex laughed and cut the remaining suture.

“It is all of those years working in the ER” he rubbed the wound with iodine and wrapped another bandage around his hand. “I think 5 days should be enough so come back on Saturday and we will check the wound.”

Max shook his head and jumped off the table. “Thanks Alex, I didn’t want to go to the hospital, too many bad memories.”

“I understand, and you can always come here, anytime. And Max?”

“Yeah Alex?”

“You can always call and talk to me if you need to. I understand a lot better than most people” he smiled and headed out to the waiting room to meet Isabel.

“Hey is everything ok?” he shook his head and showed his palm to his sister.

“Good as new” Isabel smiled and waited until Alex emerged from the back room. Max excused himself and decided to wait for Isabel outside.

It didn’t take long for the sun to warm him. Doctors’ offices were always so cold and Alex’s was no different. He stood facing the sun letting the warmth soak into his body.

He turned to look at the door when he heard it open. Isabel was walking toward him eyeing him to make sure he really was ok.

“Thanks for taking me here. I don’t think I could have handled the hospital.” She unlocked the car and climbed in.

“I know, and I would have done it for you, but I didn’t have anything and I could have gotten in trouble.” He nodded and watched as she pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main street.

~*~*~*~

Isabel put the car in park when they reached the house and silently waited for Max to say something. He was staring at the window at the two story house that he loved so much.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” he shook his head.

“No, I think I can go in there alone.” She nodded and put her hand on his shoulder. She wanted to tell him that she would stay, she would take care of him, but she had a feeling he wanted to be alone.

“Please don’t hurt yourself.” he looked into her pleading eyes and knew she wasn’t just talking about broken glass. This is what his life had become, his family making sure that he wasn’t going to harm himself.

“Don’t worry Iz, I’m not going to off myself” she winced when he spoke the words and he immediately wished he could take back. There was something dark in that statement and he knew that it was something that she feared.

“Sorry” she shook her head and watched as he slowly got out of the car. He shut the door and then leaned down through the open window.

“Thank you Isabel” she knew the words meant so much more.

“Any time” she smiled and watched as he turned slowly and made his way to the house. He stopped at the door and Isabel waited silently until he was inside. She knew it was hard for him to walk into the house; it was hard for him to be in the house. That much was obvious from the mess he had created.

He stood behind the door waiting for the sound of Isabel’s car to pull out of the driveway. When he finally heard the car zoom down the street he let his breath out.

Talking a look around he walked over to the blinds that Isabel had opened and quickly pulled them shut. He liked the dark these days, the dark was comforting, the dark was where he heard her talk to him.

He looked at the liquor cabinet and headed straight there, that is how she had appeared yesterday, and maybe she would come today.

“You really shouldn’t do that” he stopped dead in his tracks and listened to the soft voice that wasn’t supposed to be there.

He was a little surprised to hear her seeing as how the only time he had heard her in the last week was because he was drunk or hungover. This time he was sober. Her words were soft but he could hear the tension behind them.

He was afraid that if he turned around she wouldn’t be there. That he would be hallucinating, that it would be painful.

He decided it was worth the hallucination and the pain. He turned around and stared at the woman who had stolen his heart so long ago.

“Liz”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ok.... dont shoot! I promise if you stick with me, you will not be without a Happy Ending.

Ok...so that wasnt as bad as I thought it would be! Thank you for the feedback, and not killing me! I know you are unsure at this point, but stick with me! Thank you lurkers!

Emz80m
Natalie36
dreamer19
keepsmiling7
begonia9508
Hunter
RiceKrispy
kay_b
forever dreamer
Jessibelle47

~*~Chapter 4~*~


She smiled when he said her name. It always sounded so marvelous when it rolled off his tongue, like he was speaking a language of love.

He knew he was losing it. This was the part where the men in suits came to take you away and put you in a padded room. He knew this had to be a joke, a mind trick. He knew he couldn’t deal with her being dead, how was he going to deal with her being a ghost?

“Are you really here?” he walked slowly toward her apparition and sat on the chair opposite the couch. He didn’t want to get to close, just in case.

Her dark hair glistened when the sunlight hit it and as she looked just as real as she when she was alive. She didn’t say anything to him; she just sat there watching him, taking in his features.

“I was here last night.”

“I was drunk, I’m not drunk now.” She nodded pressing her lips together. He sat there watching her beautiful form waiting for her to speak, for her magical words to flow from her mouth.

“Do you remember the movie Casper?” he nodded, they had seen the movie when they were kids. They had gone to the movies together and she had swooned over Devon Sawa and his ghostly love for Christina Ricci.

He couldn’t figure out why she would reference Casper. What did a ghost flying around trying to figure himself out have to do with her being here?

“Yes, I remember” she smiled as if she was reading his mind.

“They had it all wrong” he didn’t quite understand what she meant and the questioning look in his eyes told her so.

“They made it sound like the reason ghost were around was because they had unfinished business.” Max’s eyes immediately lit up. He knew she wasn’t ready to leave him, he knew now that she was back because she hadn’t been able to let go. He didn’t care though; as long as her business was unfinished she could stay here with him.

“You can stay!” she frowned, he wasn’t getting it. He immediately took notice of her expression. Did she not want to stay; did she not want to be with him?

“Max…” her tone was soft and full of pity; it was enough to tell him she wasn’t going to stay.

“I’m not the one with the unfinished business” His head shot up and he was trying to look for some type of answer in her vaporous eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Max, it isn’t the dead that can’t let go, it is the living.” She had let go, is that what she was telling him. His heart seemed to ache with that knowledge. How could she want to leave him, he wouldn’t have ever wanted to leave her.

“I didn’t leave because I wanted to” he snapped his head up and glared. She was reading his thoughts and for some reason that bothered him.

“You said you didn’t have any unfinished business.” His response was curt and it made her wince.

“I did say that, but it didn’t mean that I wanted to leave you. If I had my way I would still be here continuing with the life we were building. I would have had babies and grown old with you. In forty years we would be sitting on the front porch drinking lemonade and watching as our grandchildren played at our feet. But I don’t get what I want.” He suddenly felt guilty for thinking she wanted to leave, that their life together meant more to him than it did to her.

“When I left I told you that I couldn’t go until you were ok, you promised me.” Now he was angry, why was she bringing up what he had promised, what about what she had promised?

“Yeah, well you aren’t even real, so why does it matter what I promised?” he heard her sigh and he looked away from her glistening eyes.

“You’re right I’m not real, but I’m only here because you want me here. The minute you want me gone I will cease to exist. I am only in your mind.” He closed his eyes and thought about how he didn’t want her here in the room with him. He wanted her gone so he could wallow in his misery, so that he could put his head under the water and stop trying to tread the surface.

He opened his eyes and looked around at the empty house. She was right, it had worked. He sat there for a few moments soaking in the solitude. The house seemed more alive when she was in the room, ghost or not. He suddenly wished she were here, having her here meant he wasn’t so alone.

It didn’t take long for her slender figure to appear on the couch sitting in exactly the same position as when she had disappeared.

“See, I told you” he grumbled and headed back to the kitchen. He really needed alcohol now. He took the bottle out of the cabinet and waited for her response.

“You think that is how you are going to fix yourself?” he glared at her and took a drink from the bottle. That was his answer. He looked her in the eyes while he let the warm liquid slide down his raw throat.

“You know, it isn’t going to fix anything and in the morning you are only going to feel worse.”

“Yeah, but it will make me deaden everything.” he took a drink from the bottle and watched as she winced. She never had liked it when he was drinking; it was as if she knew this side of him would surface. Every time he took a drink he saw the hurt flash in her eyes.

“You only think it makes you numb.” it was barley above a whisper but he knew that he was hurting her and that was enough to make him stop.

He put the lid on the bottle and closed it tightly. He carefully put the bottle back into the cabinet and closed the door. The alcohol helped him escape, but she was right, it didn’t dull the pain, sometimes it intensified it.

He carefully walked over to the couch and flopped down letting his body relax as he did. He wanted this pain to go away, he wanted to feel whole but he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to do that, especially when she wasn’t there.

“The pain will ease” he looked at her and the tears were pooling in his eyes.

“When?” she smiled and took a hold of his hand.

“With time, all pain eases with time. You just have to learn to heal.”

“How do I heal?” she smiled and kissed his forehead.

“That is the hard part.” He wiped at his eyes and continued to stare at her. He wanted to feel her body wrapped in his, he wanted to feel her tiny arms wrapped around.

The time was quickly passing as the words between them ceased. He wanted to speak, he wanted to ask her so many questions but he knew they would be answers he wanted to hear. She was after all only in his mind.

“Do you remember when we first met?” he nodded.

“You were wearing that cupcake dress and you were mortified, I however thought you were cute.”

“That is when you knew you were going to marry me.” his head shot up in unbelief. She had always argued with him telling him that he didn’t even know what marriage was, he was too young to know what marriage was.

“I know, I always did argue with you on that, but I know better. You took one look at me and you were a goner.” He smiled. It was the truth, it was his first memory of her, and he loved her.

“It wasn’t the same for you though.” It wasn’t a questions, it was a statement, she hadn’t even thought about him until they were in junior high.

“I always knew Max, always” he smiled and let her hand tighten around his.

“That was the start of our love story Max, and my death isn’t the end of it” he wasn’t quite sure what she meant, wasn’t death final, wasn’t death the end. He had promised to love her until death do them part, and he knew he would continue to love her, but how would their story go on?

“Just because I am not here doesn’t mean that my love for you is gone, or that your love for me is gone. It will go on, it won’t lessen, it won’t die.” He knew that much was true and he knew that he would never love anyone else.

“So, you are here to save me?” she chuckled

“Not save, I am here to help you heal, and we will get started but first, how is my dad?” suddenly he went frigid. He hadn’t thought of how Jeffery was or if he was even holding it together.

Jeffery had lost everyone in his family in the space of ten years. His mother Claudia had died when they were in high school. Nancy, his wife, had died two months after he and Liz had gotten married, and now his daughter was gone.

Max had put his own suffering ahead of his father-in-laws. Did his suffering mean more than Jeff’s? He hadn’t lost three people in ten years, and he wasn’t the only one left to survive.

How could he tell her that he hadn’t even thought of Jeff, that he hadn’t bothered to call and make sure everything was ok? He knew he didn’t have to tell her, she already knew. That is why she was asking him, she had made him promise that he would look out for him, and he hadn’t done it.

“It isn’t too late you know, he would like to see you.” And with that she disappeared. He called out to her, but there was no answer. He closed his eyes and wished her back, but still he was alone in the house.

Knowing what he had to do he grabbed his car keys and flew out the door.

Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. I am glad that you are sticking with me too! Liz dying is not always what people want so I appreciate you sticking around! Lurkers thanks for reading!

Emz80m
dreamer19
kay_b
keepsmiling7
vilandragirl


~*~Chapter 5~*~

It didn’t take him long to drive across town, in fact it took him all of five minutes. He parked sideways in front of the diner that his father-in-law owned and sat there staring at the empty building.

The diner was dark, with the large closed sign mocking him. It was showing him that this once busy place was now empty. This was the busiest time of day and here it was dark and void. What a way to remind him of his life.

Pulling the keys out of the ignition Max hopped out of the car and made his way to the back entrance. The front entrance was for customers and the back was for those that knew the Parkers. Max stood at the back door contemplating on just using his key or ringing the bell. He knew that he should just go in, but if Jeff didn’t want to be disturbed, he didn’t want to be the one doing the disturbing.

He firmly pressed the small circular button and listened as the dinging echoed up into the tiny apartment at the top of the stairs. He put his ear to the door and listened as the sound of Jeff’s heavy steps trudged down the stairs.

He quickly stood up straight and listened as Jeff called out. “Maria, I told you I didn’t want…” he swung the door open and came face to face with Max.

“Max?” he had seen Max yesterday but no words had been said. They had sat next to each other at the church, they had sat next to each other at the gravesite but there was nothing. He had not recognized this Max in front of him.

He looked at Max and noticed the toll of three years. His once short hair was scraggly and looked like it needed a washing. He was much skinnier than he had been from lack of being to the gym. His eyes were raw, red, and the purple circles under his eyes were getting darker as he stood staring.

“Hi Jeff” he watched as Jeff stood to the side of the door allowing him access into the house. He turned his head enough to smile at the tall man who looked so broken.

“I thought you were Maria. She has been trying to fix me dinner for the last week and I keep refusing.” Max let out a chuckle. That sounded like his spunky sister-in-law. He hadn’t felt her wrath yet, she was more focused on Jeff and he was actually thankful for that.

“That is Maria for you.” He waited for Jeff to shut the door and then started up the stairs. When they reached the door of the apartment he followed him into the comfortable space.

Jeff had inherited the apartment from his parents. The apartment had a seventies feel with the retro furniture and the southwestern design. It was like his grandparents house.

The apartment hadn’t changed much since Claudia and Dave had lived there. It still held archeological artifacts, sand paintings; the only new additions were photographs. There were so many photos gracing the walls.

There were photos from all times in the Parkers lives. Wedding photos from Claudia and Dave, Nancy and Jeff and he and Liz, there were school photos from Liz, and photos of Max. It was hard for Max to see these things, so he knew it was hard for Jeff. There was only one difference, Jeff didn’t destroy them.

He looked around the house and saw the liquor bottle by Jeff’s chair. He knew in that moment that Jeff had fallen off the wagon. He thought back to the time when Nancy had died. Liz had often found him lying on the floor in a drunken stupor. He had stopped drinking all together two years ago, now he was back to drinking.

Jeff knew what Max had seen and immediately grabbed the bottle to put it in the cabinet.
“You don’t have to hide it.”

Jeff turned to look at Max, questions blaring in his mind. Max saw and held up his injured hand. “I got a little drunk myself.”

“How did you do that?” he set the bottle down and signaled for Max to have a seat. Max pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and plopped down.

“I decided to destroy the office and when I tired to get up, a piece of glass cut my hand. I had to have ten stitches.” Jeff shook his head and stared at the wall full of memories.

“I did that once, not too long ago” Max turned to the wall and remember coming to the house to help Liz clean up the mess.

“How do you keep from destroying it all now?” Jeff turned back to him and smiled.

“This is all I have left; I can’t destroy the only things that I have.” He was quite a moment and then looked down at the small burn in the table. Liz had done that when she was smaller. She had burned the table with a match and the small black mark was still visible. Jeff was glad in this moment that he hadn’t sanded the table.

“I never in my life thought I would outlive my daughter. That isn’t how it is supposed to be, your children are supposed to outlive you. It is like that movie Steele Magnolias, where Julia Roberts dies and Sally Field says she was ready to go first. I was ready to go first Max, and yet Liz went first” he watched Max as the tears flowed down his face.

Max felt his own tears burning his cheeks, staining his face. “She had so much to live for, so much left to do.” Max knew what he was saying. She was only twenty seven. She was just starting her career, they hadn’t even had kids.

“Do you know that after I’m gone there is no one to carry on the Parker Family name?” Max did know that and it haunted him. How was anyone ever going to know how great the Parkers were, who was ever going to know how special Liz was?

“Jeff…” he had often wondered why they had waited to have a baby. It was something they had both wanted; they had both wanted a little piece of themselves to share with the rest of the world.

“It is ok Max, I have come to terms with it…” he was still for a moment and then he looked up at Max with tears pooling in his eyes.

“You know, I think of you as a son. You are my son, you married my only daughter. So do you think that you might come by every now and then?” Max’s head shot up. Jeffery had never shown him his true feelings until Liz had gotten sick.

Jeffery had always been indifferent to him. Nancy had showered him with love, love that a mother shows for her children, but Jeff was so closed off. He didn’t blame him; if he had a daughter he was sure he would be the same way.

“Of course, and maybe we can have dinner once a week.” Jeff smiled.

“That sounds wonderful.” The two continued to talk for some time before Max decided it was best to go home. He knew what did or did not wait for him at the house and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to face it.

~*~*~*~*~

Throwing the keys in the crystal bowl on the table was like second nature as he entered the house through the garage. He immediately took in the darkness of the house and noticed that it looked just like it hard this morning.

He wondered if she was somewhere waiting for him but he didn’t want to get his hopes up only to have them smashed by her only being in his imagination.

Max carefully found his way in the dark to the kitchen and flipped on the light. He immediately took notice of the plate of food on the counter with a note attached.

Max, I thought you might be hungry. Just heat it up and enjoy. If you throw it away that is fine too; but please keep my plate! Maria

Max smiled and took the plastic wrapping off the plate. Lasagna was his favorite and Maria’s had always hit the spot.

He knew that he would need to call Maria and thank her but right now his stomach rumbling was telling him otherwise.

Max popped the plate in the microwave and followed the heating directions on the back of the note. He stood there quietly waiting for the microwave to ding when she appeared behind him.

“I can hear your stomach over here.” He jumped startled by the sound of her voice. He slowly turned around and noticed the smile on her face.

“I’m really surprised my dad didn’t feed you when he took a look at you. It looks like you haven’t eaten in weeks” she wasn’t that far off. He had skipped meals and it hadn’t even bothered him, but now his stomach was talking back.

“You scared me.” She smiled at him and watched as he took the plate out of the microwave.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He took his plate of food to the table and set it down.

“Would you like some?” he didn’t know if she could eat it, but he didn’t want to be rude and not offer.

“I can’t eat. I guess I could eat, but it wouldn’t be so pretty.” She didn’t need to say anymore. He got the picture.

He watched her as he ate taking in her features. He loved that her hair was down, and her chocolate eyes were wide with anticipation. This was the Liz that was most normal to him, the most beautiful. This was the way he wanted to remember her, forever.

“Can I ask you a question?” she shrugged as if not knowing what he was going to ask.

“Why did we never have children?” he watched as her eyes glistened over and immediately he wanted to take the question back.

“I think I am the one that is supposed to ask you that?” he smiled and waited for her to answer.

“We always wanted children; they were always part of the plan.”

“Plan’s don’t always turn out the way you plan. I guess it was because I got sick. I mean we had the house, we had everything, and children were the next step. I thought about asking you for a baby when I first got sick, but I knew you would never agree to it, at least not when I was in that shape.” He reached out and caressed her face.

“I would have given you the moon if you had asked me.” She smiled and brought her hand to his.

“I know, but at the time you wouldn’t have agreed to it and we both know it. I just kept getting sicker and sicker and the only hope was a transplant and there was no way that I or a baby would have survived that.”

“I know, I just wish that I had some part of you here.” This time it was her turn to reach out and caress his face.

“You do have some part of me here, but a baby wouldn’t be the answer. Max, I never wanted for anything when I was with you. A baby wouldn’t have made my life whole. Yes, it would have enriched my already full life, but I didn’t need a baby to define us. I was happy.” He smiled.

He had always hoped that she was happy, that she never wanted for everything, but he wasn’t sure. When Michael and Maria had gotten pregnant he had seen the longing in her eyes, the knowledge that it would never be her, but it was comforting to know that she had never resented him, or them because of it.

Nevermind, I have one for you tonight! I want to thank you for the feedback. Lurkers, I know you are out there and thank you for reading. Come by and say hi!

dreamer19
Emz80m
keepsmiling7
begonia9508
FamersAmers

~*~Chapter 6~*~

“Have you been to work?” the words were like acid burning his ears. Didn’t she know he didn’t want to go to work; he didn’t want to go anywhere.

It was a big enough stretch for him to go to Jeff’s, but to go back to work, to join the public, to join the living was asking too much.

“No”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t feel like it” his words were hard, if she were alive they would have sliced right through her perfect façade.

“You need to” he glared at her letting his eyes pierce her.

“I need to do a lot of things” he turned toward the sink and decided that he needed to do the dishes.

There were cups, plates, silverware, and old food sitting at the bottom of the stainless steel sink. This was disgusting; anyone who walked in here would have him committed for lack of hygiene.

“It is about time you did those.” He stopped draining the dirty water and shot her a glare.

“If you don’t like it you can leave” it was matter of fact and simple and it didn’t take long for her to disappear from the chair she had been occupying.

He spent the next twenty minutes straightening up his kitchen and making sure that the house looked some what neat. He never knew who was going to stop by and what they were going to want.

It had been a week since he had gone to see Jeff and he had yet to see his parents. Maria and Michael had dropped by and Alex called to schedule an appointment to take out the stitches, but he didn’t want to communicate. He knew he needed go out into the world but it just hurt too much.

He was afraid to live. The air hurt when it hit his lungs, the smell of flowers and sun burned his nostrils. These were things she loved, things she savored and it hurt him to have to be a part of it.

“Max” he spun around to find Isabel standing in the doorway, her head peeking through the front door.

“Hey, come on in.” she smiled and shut the door.

“I knocked but I guess you didn’t hear me.” She felt like she was intruding and the look on her face told Max just that.

“No, I didn’t but that is ok” he watched as she walked into the kitchen and set her purse on the counter.

He took notice of her immediately, she looked worse than she had when she had cleaned up the mess in his house.

“Isabel, how are you?” he was concerned. It was one thing for him to be so distraught and deathly looking, but it was another thing for her.

“Ok, I am here to take you to get those stitches out” he looked at his hand and felt the healed skin.

“You need to get them out before you get an infection.” He raised his eyebrow at her and watched as she proceeded to make coffee.

“I can drive myself Isabel”

“You are right you can, but you won’t. You think I don’t know what is going on?” He glared at her. He knew she was trying to be helpful but he really didn’t want anyone to be burdened with his problems.

“Max…” he went over to the table and took a seat. She noticed that he still hadn’t slept and that he was still in need of a hair cut. She felt the tears stinging her already sensitive eyes and she quickly wiped them away.

“Isabel, do you believe in ghosts?” she froze.

“I don’t know, what do you mean by ghosts?”

“You know, people who have passed on that continue to walk among the living” she closed the lid of the coffee maker and turned to face him.

“I don’t know, do you?” should he tell her, did he really need to tell anyone that he was seeing his dead wife. He was sure they would commit him then.

“Sometimes, I think I feel her. I can feel her next to me, breathing me in. I can smell her too. It is the strangest thing.” That had to be a safe answer, one that didn’t entitle him to a padded room and medication.

“I think that is normal. They say that grief does funny things to people; I never really understood that until now. I think we hold on to something so hard, a memory, a life, or a person, that we can still feel, see, or touch that person.”

“Do you think that is normal?” his eyes met hers and he could see the glistening tears starting to make their way down her face.

“I think so.”

“Do you miss her Isabel?” of course she missed her, what kind of question was that he thought. She walked closer to him and pulled the kitchen chair up next to his.

“All the time…” it was quiet for some time and Max knew that there was more for her to say, and he would wait for her to say it.

“I used to hate her.” Max remembered that, how could he not. Isabel had made her dislike for Liz known for years during their childhood, but there was something unspoken between them, something that brought them together.

“But god I loved her. She was the sister I didn’t have biologically. She was my best friend Max. I turned to her for everything and now she’s gone, that bond is…” she didn’t get to finish the sentence before she was in Max’s arms.

She hadn’t realized the depth of her sorrow until the dam had broken. She had held it in for so long, unable to talk about her pain, and here she was letting it out to the one person she knew could understand, the one person who had loved her most in this world.

“I know Isabel” he held her while she cried, his own tears flowing down his chiseled face.

When she had gained control of herself she pulled back from his embrace and wiped her face with her hands.

“Are you ok?” she smiled and shook her head.

“I’m sorry, I should be the one comforting you” he smiled and took her hand.

“Sometimes the comforter needs comforting.” She quickly composed herself and straightened her scrubs.

“We need to get that hand taken care of.” He watched as she excused her self to go to the bathroom. She was good at hiding her feelings, she always had been. She was always so composed; cool, collected and he knew she was in pain.

He was selfish to think he was the only one that was affected by this. He had somehow put his pain in front of everyone’s. It wasn’t just Jeff that he had done this to, it was everyone.

“You’re right” he looked around wondering if he was hearing things again.

“Isabel is here” it was a warning, but was it more for himself or for her.

“I know, she won’t see me.” He sat there staring at her taking her in. Her expression said everything and he knew what she was telling him.

Was this part of the healing process she talked about? Was this what he was supposed to be learning?

She shook her head and smiled. She was teaching him how to heal, she was teaching him how to grieve, and he was not helping.

“Max are you ready?” his head snapped back to his sister and stood up.

“Let’s go get this done” she grabbed her purse and keys and he followed her out the door.

~*~*~*~

Alex’s office was swarming with people. He had never seen the office so crowded and it made him uncomfortable. Isabel took notice of this and put her hand on his.

“We can come back later” he shook his head and smiled at her.

“I can’t stay locked up for the rest of time” she chuckled and lead him into the back of the office.

“Why aren’t we going through the front?” she held the door open and followed him into the back room.

“I think the room full of people will be upset if we just walk in and we don’t wait our turn” he hadn’t thought of that, he was just thankful that he didn’t have to see all the people.

“Max” Alex walked into the back room with several instruments.

“Hi Alex, how are you?”

“Dandy, how’s the hand?” Max shrugged and held it out for Alex to examine.

“Healed quite nicely if I do say so myself” he rubbed some numbing salve over the wound and proceeded to take out the stitches.

“How’s the heart?” Max continued to stare at his hand not knowing what he should say. Did he answer him truthfully or did he lie like he had been doing for the last week.

“Truth?”

“Truth”

“It hurt’s Alex. As soon as I feel something, it turns into anger and hatred. I cry and I get angry then I destroy my house.”

“That is understandable” was it?

“I don’t want to go out; I don’t want to see anyone. I just want to be alone; I don’t want to do anything that reminds me of her.” He felt the tears coming to his eyes and he pushed them back.

“You know how on Sundays when you go to church and there are hundreds of people there?” Alex only nodded, wondering where Max was going with this.

“There are people every where, noise, singing, love. That is what my heart felt like when Liz was alive. Like a Sunday morning. Now it just feels empty, like a dark church on a Monday. It feels like all those people, all that joy and love is forgotten, left to itself. She left me empty Alex, and I don’t know how to feel whole.” Max let the tears slide down his face, this had to get better, it simply had to.