Roswell Fanatics

Sorrow You Can Hold
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously. You'd get my MacBook, but that's about the only thing of worth that officially belongs to me. And it's missing a key, so why would you want that? I don't own the song "Top Of The World" By The Juliana Theory, which is used in the beginning of this part.
Rating: Mature. Not sure if I'll throw in an Adult part at any point. It's been a very long time since I've written smut - er, I mean erotic fiction.
Pairings: Max and Liz, Michael and Maria. (eventually) It Starts off with Kyle and Liz, but that changes pretty quickly.

Summary: Kyle, Michael, Liz, and Maria have been best friends for as long as they can remember. They're seniors in high school with their whole lives ahead of them, until one night changes everything.

Author's Note: This is definitely AU. Maria and Kyle are brother and sister, they're twins actually. Liz and Kyle are dating. They live in Calabasas, CA instead of Roswell. I'd Love a banner, if anyone is interested

<center>Prologue - We're At The Top Of The World...</center>


“We’re at the top of the world, you and I, we’ve got a lot of time and it sure feels right…”

“Can we turn this shit off?” Michael pleads from the driver’s seat, turning back to look at his best friend for support.

Kyle just shrugs. “It’s Maria’s CD, ask her.”

Michael shoots Kyle a look, knowing what a waste of time that will be. He turns to her anyway, where she sits bouncing along with the music. “Maria, could we please…please put on something that’s not so, I don’t know,” he searches for the right word. “Peppy.”

Maria rolls her eyes, and sings a little louder before turning down the music. “What’s the matter, Michael? Scared you won’t find some drunk, naïve slut to take home tonight? Horrible thoughts like that putting you in a bad mood?”

He sends her a smirk, eyes still on the road. “Gee, Maria. I thought you were smart. See, in order to have a random drunk hookup, a person has to be drunk. Seeing how I’m the designated driver for the night, there’s something missing from that equation,” he snaps his fingers at her sharply three times. “Let’s keep up, shall we?”

Before Maria can even open her mouth to retort, Kyle is between them. Kyle isn’t stupid. Their group of four has always found the little rivalry between his little sister, Maria, and his best friend, Michael, to be amusing, but they’ve all seen far too many times what happens if it goes one step too far. Two very pissed off people and an entire night ruined, and that’s something nobody wants.

“Cool it, you two,” Kyle interjects. “Let’s say we try and pretend you guys don’t despise each other for one night, huh?”

Maria folds her arms over her chest, sinking into the front seat, trying her best to ignore the smug look on Michael’s face at getting the last word.

“I still don’t see why I have to sit next to him,” Maria throws out, reaching to turn the music up.

The entire car looks at her. “Maria, no one forced you to sit in the front.” Liz, Maria’s best friend pipes up from the back. “Maybe if you weren’t such a shot-gun whore you wouldn’t be in this position.”

“Liz, you’re supposed to be on my side.” Maria finally shakes her head and smiles as Liz laughs at her reply. Maria has always been obsessed with sitting in the front seat. No matter where they’re going, no matter who is driving, it’s something to be proud of if you can call out “Shot gun!” before she does.

Michael, of course, tries but rarely succeeds. He could care less about sitting in the front, but if it means getting a rise out of Maria he’ll do whatever it is.

“How much longer until we get to this party, man?” the fifth passenger, Ryan asks from the back seat, reaching forward to clap Michael on the shoulder. “All this sexual banter between you and Maria here is making me eager for my own little firecracker to take home.”

Michael laughs at that, “sexual banter? Me and the “Big V” over here?” Michael shoots Maria a look. “I don’t think Maria would recognize sexual banter if it kicked her in the ass.”

“Just like Michael here wouldn’t recognize a clothed woman if she walked up and kicked him in the ass. Or better yet, an entirely different body part.” Maria threw back at him before turning to face Ryan in the back seat. “And why don’t you wait ‘til I’m really wasted before you make comments like that. I might need help gagging later on when I actually have to throw up.”

“Wow, bulimic much, Maria?” Michael teases, knowing full well that’s not the case.

She doesn’t even flinch despite the dig. “Jealous much, Michael? Must suck being the DD, huh?”

“We’re here!” Liz chirps from the back seat, cutting them both off, a talent both she and her boyfriend Kyle have become rather good at over the past years.

The five of them pile out of the car, finally reaching their destination. From the rock lot where their car, along with dozens of others, is parked it’s clear to see the party that’s going on at the beach below. A huge bonfire is blazing in a couple of metal trash cans and people are scattered all along the spread of the beach, clustering in small groups around what can only be the kegs.

Michael is the first to start moving down towards the party, at which Maria lets out a small laugh before she links arms with Liz and they move to follow him. Kyle and Ryan bring up the rear, both carrying two twelve packs in case the kegs wind up cashed.

The night is windy, the sand picking up slightly but not enough to bother anyone. The waves crashing in the background can barely be heard over the music blasting on a couple of stereos.

“Time to have some fun!” Liz smiles, dragging Maria to the first available keg and securing them full cups of cheap beer.

“Don’t you just love being a girl?” Maria asks, watching as boys dig out dollar bills to buy themselves a cup.

“Oh, most definitely,” Liz agrees, tapping her cup against Maria’s before taking a big gulp.

The kids who are responsible for this particular party have a strict rule that girls should never pay for alcohol. Maybe because they feel girls will end up paying in other ways, but even so all guys are required to throw down at least three bucks for a cup if they want to get drunk. Usually, with the big turnout the parties have, the guys make more money from their collections than they need for the keg.

Kyle walks up to a couple of the guys in charge, his eyes following Liz as she makes her way through the crowd of people to go find some of her friends. He knows she’s with Maria, which makes him want to keep an eye on them even more. He’s always been protective of her, even if Maria is only older by three minutes. She’s still always been his little sister, and sometimes these parties have people that aren’t in high school anymore.

“Can I get a cup?” Kyle calls out to Trey, who’s sitting on top of a lifeguard tower.

“Kyle, my man!” Trey yells, obviously drunk and in a good mood. He reaches down, steadying himself on the ramp to grab Kyle’s hand. “So glad you could make it, dude!” Trey hands Kyle a cup, ignoring the five that Kyle tries to give him.

“You’re money is no good here, now go get wasted!” Trey shouts, and the group of people on the lifeguard stand with him immediately start cheering at the words and chugging their own cups of beer.

Laughing, Kyle walks off to find a keg. He runs into Michael, who is already entertaining a small group of very attractive girls.

“You’re not supposed to prove my sister right, Michael,” Kyle jokes as he smacks Michael on the back. “Hi, ladies.”

The girls all smile even more when Kyle walks up, each of them giving him a flirtatious hello. Kyle is always polite, but he’s rarely found flirting back even slightly. When you’ve been with someone for a while, and that someone is a girl like Liz, you don’t really find a need to flirt with other girls. Some guys do, but only because they haven’t found the girl worth stopping for.

Kyle was lucky enough to find that in junior high, the day he and Maria became best friends with the new girl.

Michael pulls Kyle out of his thoughts with an equally sharp smack on his best friend’s back. “Shouldn’t you be off getting drunk instead of annoying me? Drowning your…what are those called?”

“You’re full of it. You’re so predictable even my little sister can call you on your shit,” Kyle replies, finishing off his beer in one last big gulp.

“You’re little sister is a pest.”

“Only where you’re concerned. Amazing how she’s the sweetest girl in the world to everyone else, but you come within two feet of her and…” Kyle trailed off with a smirk.

“And you’re saying this is my fault?” Michael asks, excusing them from the group of girls and turning to face his best friend fully.

“You irritate her on purpose and you know it, man!”

Michael doesn’t say anything, but they both know it’s true. It’s like an unwritten rule. The little sister always has to be pesky in the eyes of the brother’s best friend. That’s just how it goes in every story.

Michael ducks his head with a smile, accepting defeat. “Alright, alright, whatever. If she wasn’t so innocent and naïve we’d all be much better off. You know this.”

Kyle shoots him a look. “Dude, that’s my sister. Innocent and naïve works for me, okay?”

Michael just sighs. “Suit yourself.” Michael looks up as Maria and Liz both walk by. Kyle sees them too, but the girls don’t even come over to where they are, both slightly tipsy at this point. “Looks like they’re having fun.”

“Yeah,” Kyle agrees, his eyes following the girls as they head back into the crowd. They disappear again, and Kyle turns back to Michael. “Let’s go get me drunk.”

“Sounds good to me.”

***

“Shot gun!” Maria calls, stumbling towards the car as the group makes their way back to the parking lot.

“No one’s going to fight you for it, Maria. Michael’s driving and the rest of us know better.”

Maria lets out a drunken giggle. “I know, I just like saying it,” she says as she slides into the passenger seat.

Liz leans forward as she gets situated in the middle seat. She whispers something in Maria’s ear that makes both girls break out into a fit of laughs. The boys look at each other in confusion as their laughter dies down.

“I’ll never understand girls, dude,” Ryan remarks as he slides into the seat behind Michael again. Kyle, from his seat behind Maria, agrees with him.

Michael opens his mouth to join in when Maria says, “Oh, Michael we already know what you’re going to say. “No guys, girls are easy. Easy to understand, easy to –“

She’s cut off by Kyle’s hand coming across her mouth. “So, who wants Taco Bell?”

A chorus of agreement has the doors to the car shut and seatbelts fastened faster than even Michael can throw the car into drive. They pull through the lot, avoiding drunken teenagers scrambling to their own vehicles, hopefully with their own designated drivers.

After pulling through the drive-thru, the car falls silent. Everyone is so focused on the food in front of them, they can’t even speak. Mouthfuls of Tacos and burritos, big swigs of Mountain Dew and Pepsi, the five of them continue to stuff their faces as Michael heads toward home.

They hit the freeway, something you have to take to get anywhere in this town and drive only a couple of miles until they hit their exit. Maria, who has finished off her second Chicken Baja Chalupa, slurps the last of her soda.

“That,” she breathes, “was absolutely amazing.”

“Agreed,” Liz manages around bites.

Kyle crumples his wrapper, tossing it into the plastic bag at his feet. “Proof that God truly does love us right there.”

Liz laughs beside him, shaking her head at the drunken assessment. “Ah yes, the answers people have spent hundreds of years looking for summed up in a Grilled Stuft Burrito.”

“Amen!” cheers Michael from the driver’s seat, sending the whole car into another round of laughter.

After a while, they turn off the freeway. They begin to travel through the mountains, winding up the curvy roads as they make their way back to Neptune, the secluded and famously wealthy town they have all called home for years.

Kyle looks around the car. The windows are down, wind whipping through Michael’s SUV as they all sit there laughing. Ryan’s passed out against the left side of the car, Maria is singing along with the music in the front seat much to Michael’s annoyance, and Liz is sitting beside him, lazily curling against his arm.

The four of them, Liz, Maria, Michael, and himself, have been best friends for so long it’s hard to remember how they all came together. Sure, Maria and Michael are “best friends” more because they’ve been forced to hang out with each other, but that has never really thrown off the dynamics of their group.

They had just started their senior year of high school, they had their whole lives ahead of them. The song really was true, he couldn’t help but feeling.

They were at the top of the world.

And it was at that exact moment that a truck came out of nowhere and with a single slam into the side of their car, shattered everything.

****

<center>To Be Continued...</center>

Hi Guys! First of all, thank you so much for your feedback and to any lurkers, thank you for reading!

I just wanted to post a quick note, before the next part. I'm writing this story for NaNoWriMo 2007. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's National Novel Writing Month. I'm already 10,000 words in and that means more parts for you! Of course, the focus of NaNo is to get words written and edit next month, but I'm not going to do that to you guys. I'm going to post as regularly as RL will allow.

This is an original piece of fiction that I'm converting to fit Roswell, and this deals heavily with Grief. I'm hoping I can portray that intense emotion, and I'm hoping you all have to break out your tissue boxes. Since that is the focus of the story, the character who dies is a *big* part of this fic, and will not let me cast him aside to focus on the romance of a certain ship None of you would want me to make it that easy anyway, right? Death, Grief, Acceptance...these are some of the hardest things we deal with in life, and hopefully I can do it justice.

Happy (well, as happy as you can be) Reading!

<center>Part One</center>

“It is with great sorrow on this day,” the priest begins, “that we gather to say goodbye to God’s beloved son, Kyle James Valenti…”

It was appropriate that it was raining.

Her older brother’s body was being lowered into the ground and that was all she could think about; how appropriate it was that on the day they said goodbye, even the sky was in mourning.

Everyone else was.

It was hard to see their faces. She didn’t know if this was because of the rain, or because she hadn’t stopped crying since she’d heard the news. But she didn’t have to see their faces to know who was out there, huddled together, cloaked in black, all of them feeling the loss on this tragic day.

It was even more appropriate that the entire school seemed to have shown up to pay their respects. Classmates, teachers, all the boys from the football team wearing their jerseys beneath their best black jackets, had come together to say goodbye. Kyle had been one of those guys, the kind of guy that people would truly miss after he was gone because of how much they had truly loved him while he was here.

She tried to watch as they hung their heads. She tried to imagine what they were feeling at this moment. Would this be a fleeting feeling of loss for some, something that comes and affects briefly before becoming a distant memory? Would they cry even after this was over, would they look back and stumble through the pain of losing him? Was anyone as destroyed as she knew she was?

She could imagine their pain. She could let herself comprehend the sadness of strangers. But she could not yet feel the actual depth of her own. She felt it rise within her, but each time she took a deep breath and waited, praying for it to subside if not for just a moment more.

What would she do when the memories finally hit her, when she was finally forced to accept all that she had seen these past few days?

How would she survive when it was too horrible to even imagine?

Through the tears and the rain one figure became clear. Michael. Standing by himself just across from her, looking so alone even as he stood surrounded by a sea of people. His face was stoic, jaw set in the forced emotion of control even as his mind raced.

Michael could not suppress the memories the way she could. His mind continued to relive that night, as his eyes never wavered from his best friend’s descending casket.

***

He was the first to regain consciousness.

It’s a very disconcerting feeling, to wake up and not have any idea where you are or how you got there. He kept his eyes closed, but was aware of the steering wheel pressing against his forehead, the putrid smell of gasoline in the air. Sharp pain began to throb, forcing him to pull back. He reached up only to wince as his fingers touched a cut.

What had happened to them?

He looked to his right, and that was when the panic set in.

“Maria,” he croaked, his throat suddenly dry. He forced himself to swallow. “Maria,” he said more clearly, reaching a hand over to touch her carefully. She was lying against the passenger seat, half flung towards the driver’s side, the impact having thrown her harshly toward him. The only thing keeping her in her seat was the safety belt secured tightly across her body, and the airbag that had successfully been deployed.

Her eyelids fluttered, and she immediately began to struggle against the belt, the disorientating feeling of not knowing where she was causing her to panic even more than he had.

“Maria, Its okay! Maria, listen to me! You’re okay,” he assured her as he took her face in his hands. “Are you in pain? Maria, tell me where it hurts.”

She seemed to calm down as he locked eyes with her, her flailing movements taking a minute to finally cease leaving only her eyes making frantic dashes back and forth as she tried desperately to take in her surroundings.

Seeing her distress, Michael decided not to wait. “I’m coming around. I have to get everyone out of this car.” Michael’s hands dropped from her face, and he climbed carefully out of the car, making sure he didn’t feel any pain before rushing to her side.

That was when he finally saw the damage.

The entire left side of the car was destroyed starting from the back all the way to Maria’s door. Most of the impact directed at Kyle’s. The metal was mangled, the entire tail end of the car practically torn clean off.

It took Michael a few minutes to pry Maria’s door open. When he finally got to her, he lifted her from the car more carefully than he’d ever done anything before in his life. “Try not to move too much.”

Cradling her in his arms, he looked around, finally laying her down in the soft grass a few yards away from where the car was.

“Wait here,” he told her. “And try not to move.”

At her nod, he went back to the car. Though Kyle was his main concern, Michael could not reach him. He moved to Ryan, pulling the unconscious boy carefully from the back seat and bringing him to the same place he had left Maria.

Liz was next. He studied her for a minute before he tried to move her. She was sitting in the middle. She had nothing to hit when the crash happened, but from the way her neck was tilted back between the headrests, Michael knew that could be the most damaging.

Keeping her neck as stable as possible, he somehow managed to pull her from the car.

Pure adrenaline seemed to be coursing through his body. Any pain, any fear he had at that moment meant nothing. The only thing that mattered was getting his friends out of that car. He had to lay Liz down. He had to get to Kyle.

Maria began to cry at the sight of her unconscious best friend, but Michael urged her to stay still. He seemed to think of something, and reached into his pocket. “Please work,” he whispered as he flipped open his cell phone.

He handed the phone to Maria. “You need to call 9-1-1, Maria. Tell them there’s been an accident. Tell them to come.”

He turned back to the car without waiting for her to reply. When he finally reached Kyle, he tried to ignore the obvious damage that had been done. He tried to ignore the blood, to ignore the way his right arm and leg seemed twisted in ways that couldn’t be possible. Michael yanked off his jacket, covering the torn body of his best friend in an attempt to keep himself from freezing in the moment. He had to keep going.

He moved him as carefully as possible, finally reaching the others. He looked to Maria, who nodded silently before bringing her eyes to Kyle, filled with fear, yet unwavering. Once Kyle was lying in the grass, Michael quickly checked the others. Liz and Ryan hadn’t moved, but at least he knew they were still breathing.

Before he even lifted his head from Ryan’s chest, Maria let out a scream.

“He’s not breathing, Michael!” she shrieked, panic sending her into another fit. He rushed to her side, grabbing hold of her as she continued to scream. “Michael, he’s not breathing! Why isn’t he breathing? He needs to breathe!”

Tears blurred his eyes as Michael took hold of her. She fought against him, trying to reach her brother but Michael held tight. “It’s going to be okay,” he tried his best to soothe. “The ambulance is coming and everything is going to be okay.”

He continued to repeat this, refusing to let go as she struggled against him. Finally the night lit up in red and Maria sagged against him.

The only thing Michael could feel were her tears as they soaked through the fabric of his shirt.

***

Whenever she closed her eyes, there wasn’t a minute that she didn’t think about that night. She dreamt of what it had felt like. The smells, the sounds, the sight of Kyle’s body, every detail so vivid it was as if she were reliving the accident over and over again.

She could not think about it when she was awake. She could not let herself remember for even a second, because she could not escape it at night. She couldn’t escape from him and it was the first time in her life that she wanted to.

He had always been there for her, always protecting her. In the fifth grade, Kyle came to her rescue when Maria found herself up against the school bully. Maria was a sweet girl, one that everyone seemed to like. It made her a target for a little punk 6th grader who needed to feel like a bad ass. That’s the way Kyle had explained it to her. He had told the bully to back off and had pulled Maria aside as she cried, so no one else would see it.

“What’s wrong with me, Kyle?” she had asked tearfully. “Why doesn’t he like me?”

“No one could hate you, Maria,” he had told her. “Even when they act like they do, it’s usually not because they hate you.”

Even at ten years old he’d known exactly what to say to her to make her feel better. And it didn’t stop just because they got older. He was always there, his eyes following her into a crowd just to make sure she was okay without being an overbearing presence. She loved him for it. She’d never once wanted that to go away.

She’d never felt the need to get away until now. Because now the reality was creeping in on her with every thought. She remembered the accident. She knew every detail of what had happened. She saw it every time she closed her eyes.

But it had yet to process in her mind; she had not let it. The actuality of the situation was something she did not want to face.

Accepting it meant that he was gone, that he wasn’t ever coming back. And how would she survive without him? How would she face the world alone for the first time?

Her tears continued to fall down her cheeks, eyesight blurry as she looked over at Liz. Her best friend, Kyle’s girlfriend, another person who would be left alone, she was standing in the crowd, the amount of life that usually surrounded her now gone; now slowly being buried.

Liz had not cried yet.

It didn’t make any sense. She felt as though a part of her was missing, ripped so cruelly from her in those fateful moments that she knew she’d never be the same again.

Kyle had been a part of everything Liz knew she was. They’d been dating for so long it seemed as though there wasn’t a point in her life, in her future, that wasn’t supposed to include him.

But she still couldn’t cry.

She knew that if she let herself give in to the overwhelming amount of grief that would remain constant in her life, constant in his place, that she would never survive it. How could she let herself feel something like that? How could she survive with a pain that frighteningly intense?

All she could do was stare at the ground; eyes blurred as she refused to even acknowledge what she was looking at. Kyle was not in that casket. Kyle was not gone.

Everything she had ever known was not dead.

It was as if Kyle had gone on vacation. He would be back in a week or two, smiling with that goofy grin on his face that he only got when he was looking at her. Everything would be just as it had always been.

She knew it was crazy. She knew the reality of her situation more clearly than anyone did, but that did not mean she had chosen to accept it. She just couldn’t do that.

It had been the same from the moment she had regained consciousness in the hospital room.

****

She was surrounded by bright lights. Everything seemed to be amplified around her; the noises, the smells, the pain in her right shoulder.

As her eyes slowly opened, it took her a minute to adjust to her surroundings. They were so different from where she last remembered being. The bed underneath her was cold. The sling on her right shoulder felt coarse and tight. The brace around her neck, just a precaution, felt like it was suffocating her.

This was not what she remembered. This was not Michael’s car. This was not her bed, safe and warm after a night of fun with her friends.

She recognized her parents next, standing at the edge of her hospital bed, eyes red from worry and crying. They made her feel calm, even as they took a step closer. Her mother grabbed her free hand and Liz could immediately tell that they knew something she didn’t.

“There was a crash, baby,” her mom whispered, unsure how to continue. She looked to her father for answers, but as he swallowed, Liz knew she didn’t want to know them.

“Your car was hit by another on the passenger’s side. It missed Maria’s door by inches.” Images of the crash sprang into Liz’s mind. She could picture all five of them sitting in the car. Michael was driving, Maria had shotgun of course, and she was between Ryan and Kyle, whose hand she had been holding until the very last second.

It took her a minute to speak. Her throat felt dry and even though she swallowed, her voice sounded raspy as it filled the room. It was like a strangers voice. It was the voice of someone who did not belong there.

“Is everyone okay?” she finally managed past the growing lump in her throat.

Her parents exchanged a look, but it was so fleeting that Liz assumed she had imagined it. Before she could even think about it’s meaning, her mother was already speaking.

“Michael is fine.” Liz felt her mother’s grip tighten as she pressed forward. “H-he pulled you guys from the car,” she said as her voice broke. “He saved your lives.”

“Ryan cut his head on the glass of his window. They’re observing him to make sure he didn’t sustain any serious head injuries. Your car was hit so hard. Liz, you’re so lucky, to be sitting where you were,” her father continued as her mother buried her head in his shoulder. “They thought your neck might be broken.”

“If Kyle hadn’t been holding on to you…”

The sentence hung there for a moment, and Liz expected her parents to tell her that Kyle was fine next. But instead, they moved to Maria. “She had her seatbelt on, so she’s okay, but the airbag burned her arms a little.” Liz felt relief flow through her as she found out her best friend was okay. “She was the first to wake up. She called the ambulances that brought you all here.”

There was more silence.

“And Kyle?” Liz finally pressed, confused by their silence even as she knew what it meant.

It took them a moment to speak, and this time Liz was sure of the look that passed between her parents.

“What about Kyle?” she asked again, her voice coming across louder and clearer than she thought was possible.

“We don’t know, baby…”

****

Someone was singing Amazing Grace.

The sound was beautiful. Heartbreaking, slow, deep sounds that filled them all with grief, and yet provided solace in a way. They were comforted by the sound, knowing Kyle was going to a better place. It was a place where millions had gone before, finally at peace.

Maria continued to cry. Michael continued to stare.

Liz continued to deny.

They had waited in the waiting room of the hospital for an hour. After they had all been seen by the doctors, after they were all discharged in their parents care, they had huddled together in the cold room, waiting for news that would change their lives forever.

Watching the doctor walk down the hall had been like something out of a dream. It was like a scene from a movie. It breaks your heart, even as it happens to someone else, because you know what he’s coming to say. Just by looking at him, his scrub cap twisted tight in his hands, his eyes trained on the floor and not on the people waiting, it’s obvious that the news he brings will break you.

Liz had watched him with determination, looking for those signs, but he did not show them. His eyes met each of theirs, his cap hung limply at his side, tucked into the waistband of his aquamarine scrubs.

It is a sad realization, learning that art does not always imitate life.

As the words spilled from his lips, as the news of their friend, their brother, their loved one’s death met them with shocking force, everything seemed to change.

Liz could feel Maria’s tears as they soaked through her shirt. She could feel the slight sobs of her friend’s body as she held her in her arms. She could see Michael, sinking into the nearest chair, guilt shattering the stoic features of his face.

She barely felt her parents’ hands against her back. She barely registered the Valentis standing only a few feet away, even as Amy Valenti buckled to the floor. She hardly noticed when Maria left her grasp, and joined her mother.

Liz could see and hear everything. She could feel the touch of others, but she could not register it. It simply did not make sense. And everything in her life had made sense.

Slowly, the casket reached its final resting place, and everyone watched as Kyle’s parents threw the first handfuls of dirt atop the wooden surface. One by one, members of the crowd came forward, paying their respects.

Everyone said goodbye.

Only Liz, Maria, and Michael remained. Their eyes met, and the night that tied them so intricately together, seemed to push them even farther apart. Liz was the first to walk away, her only show of emotion in the way her hand seemed to shake as it threw one final rose into the grave.

Maria’s eyes met Michael’s, and in one brief moment, the two former rivals seemed to share a connection greater than anything that had ever pushed them apart.

With one last look at her brother’s grave, Maria, her eyes filled with tears, turned around and walked away.

Leaving only Michael, who sunk to his knees in the fresh dirt, unconcerned with everything except the weight of the guilt he now felt pulling him down.

<center>To Be Continued...</center>

Feedback Is Love <3

Hey Everyone!

Just stopping by with the second part! I'm sure you guys, well, my dreamers out there, are wondering when Max is going to make an appearance in this story! Trust me, he's coming soon. And He's going to play a big part in this story. So, just be patient with me. I promise it will be worth the wait =)

Thanks so much for all your feedback. I really appreciate it! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who is saddened by this story, lol. It's been a depressing story to write and I was worried that it was crap and no one else would find it sad, but your feedback proved otherwise! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far and hope you continue to read it!

Here's the next part. Feedback is always loved and appreciated!

<center>Part Two</center>

The bell rang sharply, signaling the end of first period. Students exited their classrooms, filing into the halls and spilling out into the open area of the quad. Everything seemed to move faster today. Everything seemed different on their first day back.

Teachers were being understanding about absences. Tests would be made up, if not omitted from their grades entirely. Participation would not be required. The school had collectively conspired to make their lives easier, while effectively singling them out completely.

It’s hard to be the three survivors when one of the most beloved students from their school did not walk away from the crash.

The crash. That was what they were calling it. It was just “the crash”. There was no mention of what had happened, though everybody knew it anyway. It was just an accident, something you read about in the paper. It wasn’t right to keep saying Kyle was dead. No one ever wants to keep bringing something like that up. No one ever really wants to keep remembering. Move on. Let go. Remember that you are alive.

While it was what they needed to do, moving past tragedy is rarely as simple as people would like it to be. Things are not simply forgotten just because they are no longer mentioned. The pain of losing someone you love is not erased. It hums quietly in the back of your mind, growing louder at moments of vulnerability, and fading softly with moments of growth.

Everyone watched Liz and Michael.

It was as if they were looking for something, as if they could hear the humming in their minds and were wondering if it was still there or if it had faded completely.

Michael was just glad Maria had decided to stay home. Their entire family had come to visit for the funeral. Her grandparents had decided to stay for a short period of time, to help the family while they dealt with their new lives. If it could even be called them that, because “new lives” implied something fresh, something clean. It hardly represented how the family was truly feeling.

Michael somehow knew that Maria would not be able to handle the stares. He knew that all the people standing in the middle of the football field, gathered around a memorial friends and fellow students had put together, would only upset her more. It wasn’t that she thought they didn’t really care, it was just that she knew they didn’t care the way she did. It was a reminder that the person they lost was completely different than the person she lost.

Michael found himself snapping at anyone who even looked at him the wrong way. All the guilt he’d felt pressing upon him from the moment of the accident, had chosen to release itself in anger.

He hated their looks. He hated what they would mean to Maria, because that is what they meant for him.

If it wasn’t hard enough thinking about how sad Maria was, it was even worse to think about Liz. Especially when she looked so…Normal, that was the only way to describe it. She looked as though it was just any other day at school. She looked like someone who had never known Kyle at all.

She was acting like she had never known Maria or Michael as well.

Since the funeral, it was as if something inside Liz had snapped. Where Maria seemed to be reluctant to get out of bed, Liz looked as though she was trying to be everywhere at once. Where Michael seemed sluggish, and weighed down by memories and guilt, Liz looked as though she did not have a care in the world.

Well, that wasn’t necessarily true. It seemed that in the days that followed the funeral, Liz had taken on more responsibility than she had ever had.

Being President of the Student Government had always given her added responsibilities that the rest of the group didn’t have. Michael didn’t really do that whole “extracurricular activities” thing, Maria was more interested in music and art, and especially her photography, and Kyle had been into sports.

But Liz always had Homecoming or Prom or a certain committee to run. It was something they had grown up with. Liz: The Planner, The Organizer. She was the one who usually got them to do anything that required a plan.

Kyle had always spent his afternoons on the Football field, so he was always content to sit on a couch and just hang out. Michael was always up for doing absolutely nothing, though he did love a good party. And Maria, she’d always been off in her own world. Always with camera, or her paintbrushes, looking at the world differently than anyone else.

Liz was the one who would pull them together. Whether it was because she wanted them to do something together, or because she was forcing them to come to one of her fundraisers or events at the school.

That Liz, they could handle. But, as Michael stared at her from across the Quad, a sea of people between them, even he could tell that something was different.

If he had thrown every memory of his from the night of the accident into anger, Liz had thrown it into everything else she could possibly think of.

It seemed like the short time she was supposed to spend recovering from what had happened, had actually been used for research. A lot of research, which landed the school with at least two new committees and groups, and three fundraising events. Liz was spending every minute of her time thinking of anything she possible could, in order to keep her thoughts from the one place she was horrified they would go.

Michael wondered if she had even cried.

But before he could think more about it, he looked up to find the Principal standing in front of him. “Good morning, Michael,” he greeted. His hand reached out, and Michael watched as the Principal offered what was supposed to be a “comforting” gesture.

Michael just looked at his hand as it squeezed his shoulder. He didn’t say anything. He knew the Principal was only trying to help, and while Michael could mouth off to everyone else around him, he wasn’t planning on doing the same with the person in charge.

“Morning, sir.”

“How is everything? Is the day going smoothly so far?” he asked, the obviously omitted words hanging between them. He didn’t have to say anything about the accident. He didn’t have to say anything about Kyle. Because everyone already knew, everyone knew what had happened the night of the crash, and everyone had already made their own assumptions about how he was probably feeling.

“Everything is fine, sir,” Michael answered quickly, looking past the Principal in an obvious attempt to find an escape route.

Michael didn’t need this. He didn’t need to sit here while the Principal showed how much he cared. Even if he did care, Michael didn’t want his sympathy. It wasn’t going to change anything; it wasn’t going to make anything better.

“I wanted to let you know, Michael,” the Principal broached, meeting Michael’s wandering eyes as they looked over his shoulder. “There’s going to be a grief counselor coming in to the school for the next few days, maybe even until sometime next week.”

Michael looked the Principal dead in the eye, opening his mouth to say something, but the older man beat him to it.

“She’ll be here for everyone. Anyone who wants to talk to her is more than welcome to do so whenever they would like. I’m sure you can guess, that she would like to speak with those of you who were –,“ he stopped for a moment, considering his words. “She’d like to speak with you, Maria, and Liz especially, Michael.”

Michael was silent for a moment, and when he spoke his voice had the harsh, mean tone he had been trying to control. “While I appreciate the offer, Mr. Sanders, I’m going to have to pass. The last thing I need or want to do right now is talk to some lady who knows absolutely nothing about me, and who definitely knows nothing about Kyle. I’m dealing with my “grief” in my own way, so if this lady thinks she and I are going to have some heart-to-heart and get all touchy feely while we cry over my fond memories of my dead best friend, she’s got another thing coming.”

Mr. Sanders was stunned, so much so that Michael had the chance to turn and walk away, hands clenched into fists at his sides as he tried to force down the feelings that were threatening to erupt inside of him.

Michael couldn’t understand how they thought talking was going to help anything. He couldn’t understand how they thought bringing up memories of Kyle was going to make anything better. None of that was going to change what had happened. It wasn’t going to make it go away. It wasn’t going to make it easier, and everyone needed to stop pretending it would.

****

Liz walked into the counselor’s office, her eyes already trained on the clock. She was clutching a binder in her arms that looked so full it was almost threatening to spill its contents right then and there. She set it on one of the unoccupied chairs that sat facing the counselor’s desk. She swung her bag off her shoulder, and set it on the floor before taking a seat in the remaining chair.

Liz looked at the woman they called the “grief counselor”. Her brown hair was loose, which Liz took to mean she was “approachable”, not “cold”. This wasn’t a principal’s office; this was an office with a friend. That was the message they were trying to send. It was written all over the lady’s face, from the slight raise of her eyebrows to the friendly, but not overly friendly smile gracing her lips.

“You must be Liz Parker,” she greeted, stretching a manicured hand across the desk as she rose from her seat.

Liz followed in suit, eyes trailing each of the counselor’s movements with apt interest. “Nice to meet you, Mrs.–?“

“Ms. Donnelly,” she finished. “You can call me Anna.”

Liz smiled politely, retaking her seat. She did not move to speak. She waited for the questions to begin. She waited for this “dissection” of her psyche to begin. All of Anna Donnelly’s cards were in place. Liz felt welcomed, she felt comfortable, and she felt like Anna’s equal. There was nothing to stop her from spilling all of her feelings to this complete stranger right that very moment.

Except, of course, for the fact that Liz had absolutely no intention of talking about what she assumed this lady wanted to talk about.

“How are you feeling?” Anna asked first. It was a neutral question, one that expected an easy answer. Liz was alive, after all. She had bumps and bruises that paled in comparison to a possible alternative she could have endured. Liz would never complain about a little shoulder pain when her boyfriend was dead, but the question would open up the possibility for more, and even deeper, questions.

But Liz did not say she was fine. In fact, she said much more than that.

“I’m not going to lie, Anna. Things are a little bit crazy right now.” Liz folded her hands in her lap, looking down at her knees for a moment, before all her manic energy that seemed to be pushing her through the last days burst forward. “I’ve got all these new projects, fundraisers, events, clubs, school-supported groups, just a million different things to organize and keep track of. We’re hosting a bake sale on Tuesday next week to raise money for the Science club. Josie Baker is trying to raise money for the cheerleading squad, but if that girl honestly thinks the school’s going to approve of a car wash she’s lost it.”

Liz leaned forward in her chair. “Just between us though, I’m starting to think she has.”

Anna blinked, but remained calm, opening her mouth to interject and possibly steer the conversation in another direction, mainly because the entire stream of Liz’s reply had come at once and Ms. Donnelly couldn’t be sure the young girl had even taken a breath. Liz pressed on quickly, despite Anna’s attempts to say anything. Her hands gestured wildly as she fidgeted in her chair, rambling off a list of a million things that were keeping her completely occupied.

“I mean, seriously? We’re from Calabasas, not the ghetto. What kind of message is it going to send if our school has to have scantily clad cheerleaders prance around in their bikinis just to make a few extra dollars? Do you see what I mean, Anna?”

Liz sat back, pushing up the sleeves on her pale pink cardigan. “I tell you, they certainly don’t let everyone know what a responsibility it is to be the Student Body President. All I can say, is that this school is lucky I’ve been doing things like this all my life, or our poor little orphans at the children’s home certainly wouldn’t be having their annual Christmas pageant this year. That is for sure.”

Anna surveyed Liz carefully. It was obvious that the young girl was using distraction as a coping mechanism for the tragedy she had just survived. There are some cases where children are reluctant to do anything at all, and where getting them to talk about anything is the biggest struggle they will face in counseling. But while Liz was staying active in her life, and definitely not at a loss, Anna was certain that she was doing all of it in an attempt to refuse to let her mind register the reality she currently faced.

There was definitely a debate among her collegues, as they studied grief and it’s affects and manifestations in its victims’ lives. It would be hard to tell which reaction was indeed worse. Eventually, Liz would be unable to keep up with herself, with all the distractions, and something would cause that carefully constructed wall she had built around herself to crumble. At the same time, those who feel the full extent of their pain and loss from the moment it happens often don’t know how to recover and can live as a shell of their former selves.

It was a precarious situation, because Anna’s main goal right now was to have Liz come to terms with things in as gently a manner as possible, so the fallout did not completely destroy her.

Liz continued to sit in the chair, no longer moving now that she had stopped speaking. She was waiting for the counselor’s reaction, waiting for this “sharing of feelings” to be over so she could get back to her life.

Did this woman not understand how busy she was? She did not have time to sit here and be analyzed. She had things to do.

“You must miss him,” Anna said finally, her voice soft. She looked up from her desk, sad eyes meeting Liz’s, as her hand reflectively reached out to touch a picture frame that was sitting close to her side of the desk.

“It’s a terrible thing, Liz, to lose someone you love, someone who has been so much a part of your life for such a long time. It’s hard to know the best way to move on from something like that, most of the time, you just go with whatever hurts the least. Sometimes, like your friend Maria, we fall into our sadness and need the strength of others to pull ourselves out of it.”

Liz blinked at the mention of Maria, and though her mouth parted slightly, she did not speak. So, Anna continued. “Other times, we try so hard to push away the truth that when it finally hits us, the impact is so devastating and so unexpected that it is even harder to survive it.”

Liz’s forehead furrowed slightly, her lower lip disappearing as she bit down slightly. The flash of emotion came so quickly, but vanished even more suddenly. Liz stood up, pulling her bag back across her shoulder and reaching for her binder.

“I’m just trying to live my life, Ms. Donnelly,” Liz said shortly. Her tone showing no emotion, her features completely collected. “This school needs me. I’m just trying to keep everyone together.”

Liz stepped around the chairs and turned for the door. Anna stood as well, meeting Liz at the door.

“It’s okay to fall apart sometimes, Liz,” she said gently.

“No,” Liz said, the sorrow behind her determination flickering across her eyes for only a moment. “Not for me.”

****

Michael was already gripping the handle of his car door when the last bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Before he could climb in and speed away, pretend this day had never actually happened, a voice called out, and his name rang across the parking lot.

It came from a female, one he didn’t recognize.

Judging from her appearance, he could guess who she was, and was regretting the fact that he had stopped to see who it was that had called for him.

It wasn’t enough that the principal had decided to announce the school’s Friday night football game that was coming up. His day hadn’t already been bad enough, dealing with the reminder that life was continuing around them all, without Kyle. He didn’t care that people had stared. The announcement for the game had been one thing; the following announcement about a tribute for Kyle taking place on Friday had been way too much.

Michael had been out of his seat before his teacher could even argue. He had rushed out into the parking lot, craving the open air since everything else felt like it was threatening to suffocate him.

And now he had to deal with this.

“Let me guess,” he said as she approached him. He shut the door to his car, his parents’ black SUV that he was now driving to and from school. They had given it to him to drive when he needed it, but Michael had yet to pull it from the driveway until today when he had to go to school. “You’re the grief counselor I’ve heard so much about.”

She stopped a few feet away from him, not wanting to make him feel trapped into a conversation. She stood on the sidewalk, near the hood of his car, as he turned to face her, leaning his body against the driver’s side.

Handsome, popular, and best friends with Kyle Valenti; Michael Guerin was exactly what she had pictured he would be after speaking with the principal that morning. He had informed her of the conservation he had shared with the younger man, giving her the heads-up on his reluctance to speak with her.

Reluctance had apparently put things kindly. “I know you don’t want to talk to me, Michael. I know you think I want to talk about your feelings and your memories and bring up things that you feel should stay buried.”

“You’re right,” he said quickly. His eyes flashed with anger, and she watched as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “Nothing you can say or do will suddenly change what happened. Nothing any of you say or do is going to make a difference.” He stared at her, hard, before forcing his attention to the car door, which he opened to signal he was done with their conversation. “It’d be great if everyone could stop pretending Kyle –“

“I don’t want to pretend anything,” she said quickly, jumping in as he cut himself off at the sound of his best friend’s name. “I’m not here to try and talk to you about Kyle, Michael.”

“Oh yeah?” he threw back at her. “Then what the hell do you want?”

She took a deep breath, taking a slight step forward. “I just want to make sure you know that what happened that night,” she continued as he looked away and made a move to get in his car. “Kyle’s death, Michael. It was not your fault.”

He looked up sharply, a storm of emotion brewing behind his green eyes. “Are we done here?”

She nodded reluctantly. She couldn’t push him; she knew that. But it didn’t make her want to stop trying. Without another word, he closed the door to his parents’ car and drove off.

****

The beach was quiet.

It hadn’t been at first. Michael had driven around for an hour. He got to the beach as the day was coming to an end. All the people who had come by after school or work to catch last minute waves and some sun had filled the beach for about two hours while he sat on the hood of his car, just watching.

He watched them all, running, laughing, enjoying their last bit of the heat before fall and winter came full force and everything got too cold. A week ago, he’d been on the beach. He’d been in the water, surfing for a couple hours with Kyle while the girls lay out on the sand. A week ago, he’d been happy.

Now all that existed inside him was anger. All he could feel was guilt.

Hands clutching tightly to a small brown paper bag, he took a deep swig and felt those feelings burn down his throat along with the harsh taste of the alcohol.

Jim Beam. It had been his and Kyle’s liquor of choice.

They had bought the bottle from a hole-in-the-wall liquor store that was extremely lax when it came to carding kids who were obviously underage. Things like that hadn’t ever mattered much when your parents were the Davenports. Or when your father owned a company that employed a good majority of the town.

They had bought the bottle on the night of the accident.

”So, what will it be tonight my friend?” Michael asked as they roamed the store. “A little Jack? Some tequila?” he picked up a bottle of Jose Cuervo. “You know how much Liz enjoys tequila.”

Kyle laughed. “I’d prefer my girlfriend standing on her own free will tonight, Michael. As much fun as carrying her around sounds, you know that stuff gets her way too drunk.”

Smirking, he set the bottle back on the shelf. “And here I was thinking that was the point.”

Kyle punched his best friend’s arm, before turning down the next aisle out of his reach. “It is. For those of you who need girls to be drunk so they’ll tolerate you.” He picked up a bottle of Jim, showing it to Michael. Both boys shared an eager nod, their decision clearly reached.

“Speaking of girls tolerating you, do me a favor and try to lay off Maria tonight. If I’m going to be sober, driving your drunk ass around town I refuse to listen to you two bitch at each other the whole time.”

“She starts it.”

Kyle shot him a look. “What are you, five years old?”

Michael laughed, “yes.” He took the bottle from his friend, “You don’t have to worry about that anyway,” he said as he paid the cashier.

“Why’s that?” Kyle took the bottle, tucked away in a brown paper bag, and the boys walked to the car.

“Because I plan on driving your drunk ass around tonight,” he said, snatching the keys from his best friend and hopping in the front seat before Kyle could argue. “You’ve been in a shitty mood all week. Tonight, you have the fun.”

Kyle didn’t argue, but after a moment of silence he said, grinning, “Definitely should’ve bought the tequila.”

The sun had set, leaving Michael shrouded in darkness. The sand picked up slightly around him. He took another painful swig.

They had gone back to Kyle’s house, and before leaving Kyle had asked him one last time if Michael wanted him to drive instead.

That night, in that moment, his refusal had meant nothing. Now, it meant everything. Michael had not been supposed to drive that night, and he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Kyle had been the one with the keys.

Maybe they would have made it home. Maybe they would have been fine. And even still, maybe the accident would have happened anyway. The point was it would have been different, and at least then maybe his best friend would still be alive.

<center>To Be Continued...</center>

Hi Everyone!

So, my week of hell is finally over, and I'm looking forward to getting back to writing. Not sure if NaNo is going to work out, but I'm definitely going to keep writing this story.

Thanks so much for all the feedback! You guys are amazing, seriously. And I'm sorry if I make you cry!

Raychelxluscious - Thanks for finally replying! You horrible friend of mine, leaving me fb-less for two whole parts! Though I must say that FB was worth the wait. ILU!


RhondaAnn - I'm so sorry to hear that. Thank you so much for reading, hopefully I don't disappoint.

<center>Part Three</center>

Liz was up early on Tuesday morning. Sitting on her back porch, nursing a cup of hot coffee as she looked over the notes and to-do lists that filled her Student Government binder. Her mind already preoccupied with the events of the day, she didn’t notice her father standing at the back of her lawn chair until he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

“Morning, daddy.” She smiled as she looked up at him. He was already dressed in his suit for the day, another Parker off to an early start that morning.

“Morning, baby.” He peered down at the papers in her lap. “Looks like someone’s a busy girl.”

“It’s going to be a crazy week,” she said brightly, before her voice seemed to lose some of its energy. “Homecoming and all.”

Jeff picked up on the tone in his daughter’s voice; try as she might to hide it. “Are you getting through everything okay?” he prodded gently, coming around to take a seat at the edge of her chair.

Liz curled her legs inward, and the smile was back on her face. “Of course.”

Gesturing at his attire, she raised an eyebrow. “I see I’m not the only one who is busy today.”

“I have a conference in New York this week.”

Liz was not surprised. Her father always seemed to be on one business trip or another. Work was a priority. Liz had grown up knowing that.

“I’m sorry I have to leave so soon. I tried to get this pushed back, but you know this business.”

“It waits for no man,” she returned with another smile. “Its fine, dad,” she told him quickly. “I’m fine.”

He looked at her for a moment, before rising from the seat and giving her another kiss. This time his arms wrapped around her shoulders for a hug. “I know, baby. You keep saying that,” his tone was not accusatory, but Liz couldn’t help but hear it in his voice, no matter how gently the words were put.

“I’m just glad you’ve got your friends with you. I know you and Maria will pull through this together.”

Liz nodded, looking back down at her notes. Her father gave her one last squeeze, “I’ll be home soon.”

“Have a safe trip, dad,” she replied as he walked back inside.

Liz closed her binder, lost in her thoughts for a moment before she went inside, packed up her things and left the house. She had a stop to make before school.

****

She had not been to the Valenti’s since the day of the funeral.

Other than times they’d been on family vacations, Liz could not remember a time before freshman year when she’d gone this long without seeing Maria. After that summer, she and Kyle had officially become a couple, and Liz had become a permanent fixture in the Valenti home.

Only slightly more permanent than she had been before, since their families had grown up together. Liz and Maria had been best friends since childhood. Their mothers, both born and raised in Calabasas, had been best friends before them. Maria had always been family. Kyle had been too, though it was different due to their mothers’ constant talk of how cute it would be if Kyle and Liz would end up together.

Everyone had been overjoyed after Maria’s summer away. Without her best friend, Liz had spent time with Kyle that had been different than any time they had shared before. Despite their constant efforts to discourage their meddling mothers, the friendship they formed had opened their eyes to the possibility.

Everyone had been convinced it would happen sooner or later; no one expected it would end the way it had.

Liz knocked on the door, the sharp sound effectively clearing her thoughts.

Amy Valenti was a sight. She had always been an eccentric woman, always so loud and full of energy. In the days since Liz had last seen her, the wide grin that usually graced Amy’s features had been replaced with a sad, almost hidden smile. It was a smile Liz knew was there just for show. It was a smile that took everything the older woman had to produce it.

She had lost her boy. Despite his age, despite his life away from home, despite how he had slowly grown up and naturally apart from his parents, Kyle had always been her boy. On any given day in the Valenti home, whether he and Liz were studying at the kitchen counter, or he and Michael had been playing video games on the couch, Amy was always there; she ruffled his hair, she touched his arm briefly as she passed by. She loved him in the most amazing way, every single day of his life.

Liz could hardly look at her, could hardly bear to return the grasping hug she was pulled into.

She pulled back, watching as Amy wiped her eyes and ushered her into the house. “Has Maria left for school yet?” Liz asked, and the small smile that had been on Amy Valenti’s face completely disappeared, her face filled with sadness that not even the smallest amount of happiness could be forced through.

“Is Maria okay, Mrs. Valenti?”

Amy’s eyes looked toward the second floor, and then back at Liz. Hand at Liz’s back, Amy walked towards the foot of the stairs, “She hasn’t gotten out of bed since the funeral.”

Liz looked up the stairs. She hadn’t seen her best friend since the funeral, but she had assumed Maria was doing okay; really, as well as could be expected given what happened. Liz could only imagine how her best friend was feeling right now.

“Can I go see her?” Liz asked, and Amy’s face seemed to shine with a small amount of hope.

“Of course you can, sweetie,” she said, pulling Liz into another hug. “Maybe seeing you will…Well, you just go on up there and see her. I’ll make you kids some breakfast to take with you to school.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Valenti.” Liz meant those words for more than just the breakfast. Mrs. Valenti had always been a second parent to Liz, had always loved her like a daughter instead of liked her as her son’s girlfriend. Liz was continually grateful for all the things Amy had done for her over the years, but had never found a way to say it. From the time they were in seventh grade and Liz had gotten her first experience of what it meant to be a woman. Her own parents had been out of town, and Amy Valenti had been caring and helpful throughout the entire thing, putting Liz’s mind at ease in ways she knew even her own mother might not have been able to do.

It hurt Liz to see Amy hurting so much, but she could not dwell on it. Climbing the stairs, Liz found Maria in her room, the curtains closed, leaving the entire room dark. She could see the outline of her friend’s sleeping form beneath the covers, and Liz felt a pang of sadness deep in her heart. She inched forward into the room, stuck between wanting to wake her best friend or wanting to run in the other direction.

She reached the edge of the bed, watching the slow rise and fall of the covers with trepidation. Liz reached out her hand, her palm hovering centimeters from the bed. She wanted to touch her, wanted to wake her best friend and pull her from this darkness she seemed to have fallen into, but Liz couldn’t help but be scared.

Finally, after a few moments of watching in the dark, Liz took one step backwards.

Maria shifted in bed.

Liz froze, breath catching in her chest. And then, without thinking, Liz moved forward in one fluid motion, climbing into the bed beside her friend before she could talk herself out of it.

She pulled the covers around her, as Maria woke beside her, eyes fastening on the dark form of her best friend. It was as if seeing Liz had caused something to snap inside of Maria. Tears began to fall hard and fast down her cheeks. Liz could do nothing but stare at her, finally reaching her arm around Maria’s shaking form and pulling her friend’s head into her chest.

They lay like that for a few minutes, huddled beneath the covers, Maria letting out her tears, and Liz doing her best to keep her emotions in check. She could feel her grip on them slipping, and finally pulled her arm back to her side.

Maria lifted her head, wiping her eyes and biting her lip as she looked at Liz. “I missed you.”

Liz felt like she couldn’t breathe. “I missed you, too.”

Liz reached up, pulling the covers down from over their heads and taking a deep breath. She sat up, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed and walking to the windows.

“What are you doing?” Maria asked, still under the covers.

“We need to get you out of this bed, Maria.” Liz said as she threw open the curtains, the bright light like an overwhelming force of reality that Maria was not ready to handle. “We’ve got things to talk about! Homecoming is coming up, and you and I don’t even have dresses for it!”

“Liz, stop it!” Maria said quickly, shutting her eyes to block out the brightness as it flooded the entire room.

Liz walked back over the bed, sitting next to her friend, who had thrown the covers back over her head. “Maria, you can’t do this.”

“Look, Liz, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I can’t do this yet. I’m not ready.”

“So, you’re just going to stay in bed for the rest of your life? Sooner or later you’re going to have to get out of this bed, and when you do you’re going to have to deal with the life you’ve been putting on hold.”

Maria flung the covers down, sitting up, her blonde hair flying around her face. “Is that what you’ve been doing, Liz? Accepting reality?”

Liz’s back straightened, her eyes narrowing as she looked out the window. “I’ve been living my life. I’ve been focusing on what’s in front of me.”

“You’ve been ignoring the fact that he’s gone!” Maria said furiously, swiping at her cheeks as tears fell. “I saw you at the funeral, Liz. I watched you that night in the hospital. And on top of that, I’m your best friend. I know you.”

“Oh yeah? And just what do you think you know, Maria? What could you possibly know? You’ve been locked up in this dark room since it happened.”

Maria got up, going to her desk and pulling out a small photo album. Thrusting the book in Liz’s hands, she stood before her friend, arms crossed and jaw set. “Sophomore year. You and Kyle got in your first fight. Pam Troy had been being a slut, like usual, and she had tried to kiss Kyle at a party. You spent a week with me, refusing to talk to him, acting like it hadn’t happened, like Kyle and your whole relationship had never existed.”

Liz looked at all the pictures in the book. Her and Maria had spent the week dressing up, taking pictures, going out for coffee, shopping, doing girl things, anything to keep Liz’s mind off what had happened.

“It was different when you guys were in a stupid fight. I was there for you and took your side and did what I could to help you forget it for a while,” Maria said, refusing to back down even as Liz stood from the bed and met her face-to-face. “I won’t help you do it this time, Liz. I won’t talk to you about Homecoming and our dresses and how you’re going to do your hair. I won’t smile for pictures with you while you try and pretend that this isn’t happening.”

Maria didn’t take her eyes off Liz, watching her carefully as she placed the photo album on the bed.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” Liz said finally, grabbing her bag and pulling it over her shoulder. Maria and Liz stood there for one long moment, eyes locked, the tension filling the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. They were obviously at odds, and Liz could tell that staying there was not going to accomplish anything.

“Bye, Maria.”

“Yeah,” Maria shook her head sadly as Liz walked out of the room. “Bye, Liz.”

****

For the second time in two weeks, Michael woke up not knowing where he was. The feeling was so familiar that he rose with a start, eyes scanning his surroundings and adjusting to the bright light of the sun as it shown over everything. The beach was calm.

He loved this time of morning. He and Kyle had always loved to come out to the beach in the early morning hours. They loved taking in a few waves before school. The beach was different in the morning; it was calming, and just what they needed to start the day.

He watched as a couple of surfers ran out into the surf, wishing he could find that comfort again, but knowing it would be a long time before he ever did.

He rubbed his head, the effects of the empty bottle at his feet pounding in reminder of the night before. He had been on a mission the night before, and he had succeeded, but now that feelings that had been drowned out the night before came back with full force, accompanied by a fierce hangover.

He looked at the time on his cell phone. It was still early; there was still an hour before he had to be at school, but Michael didn’t know if he could make it today. The reasons he found himself on the beach this morning, wrapped in a single blanket as he woke in the sand, were still going to be there. Homecoming was still going to happen this weekend. He was still going to have to face the reality of his best friend’s death, and while he had thought he was prepared for it, he couldn’t find the strength to go back, not today.

Instead, there seemed to be something inside of him, pulling him in another direction. It was a place he had been sure he could not go, but this morning was already proving to be unexpected.

He stood, taking in one last look at the beach before walking to his car. He dialed his house number on his cell, leaving a brief message on the answering machine for his parents. With that, he set off in the direction he had gone so many times before, but had been unable to go towards in the past week, hoping to find the calm that seemed to elude him that morning on the sand.

****

Maria had been unable to go back to sleep after her confrontation with Liz that morning. Before that morning, it was as if her mind wanted nothing more than to escape the memories and feelings and so she found herself unable to do anything except sleep. Now, it was as if Liz’s reaction, not only to Kyle’s death, but also to Maria’s words, had stolen that comfort from her. She could not seem to shut down her thoughts.

She could not help but think that while Liz was not dealing with the situation at all, her best friend had been right in that Maria could not hide in her room forever.

For the first time since the funeral, Maria climbed down the stairs, and walked towards the kitchen, stopping at the sound of voices. Her parents were awake. Her father was probably getting ready to leave for work, and her mom had always been an early riser. Maria was used to coming downstairs in the morning, ready for school, and finding her father nursing his second cup of coffee while her mother bustled around the kitchen, making breakfast for the family.

This morning was different. There was no breakfast. Her father, usually quiet at the counter as he watched her mother with love in his eyes, sounded frustrated and heartbreakingly sad. Her mother’s voice sounded broken.

Maria assumed they were talking about Kyle, but as she inched closer, she realized the conversation was different than what she expected. They were talking about her.

“We have to do something, Jim. We can’t just sit here and allow this to continue. She’s been up in that room for days. She hasn’t touched any of the food I’ve brought her. I just –“ Amy’s voice broke. “I can’t lose another child.”

Maria felt her heart constrict painfully at her mother’s words.

She had been so caught up in her grief that she had never considered the affect it was having on her parents. She continued to listen, hidden by the wall separating the kitchen from the foyer. She could hear movement, and could imagine her father coming to wrap his arms around her mother.

“We’ll figure out something,” he told her, his voice conveying his worry though his words offered reassurance.

Maria wanted to walk into the kitchen. She wanted to wrap her arms around her parents and tell them she was okay, but she couldn’t find it in her to do so. She couldn’t seem to face them. The thought of their pain was too much for her to bear on top of everything else.

She retreated silently, finding her way back up the stairs, but she did not return to her room. Instead, she stood in the hall that separated her room from Kyle’s. Staring at the door, she felt her body begin to shake just slightly. She stepped forward, each step closer to his door felt like a mile. Even as she neared the room, she couldn’t help but feel farther and farther away.

How could she feel so far, so disconnected from someone she had once shared everything with?

”You’re hiding something from me.”

Maria’s hand hovered above the handle of the door, and she froze as the sound of her words echoed in her head.

”I’m not hiding anything from you.”

Maria took a step back. She could hear him in her head. The conversation they had so long ago feeling like it was taking place around her.

They had been fourteen years old. Maria had just returned from a summer away at sleep away camp. It had been her first summer without her brother since they had been born. They had always been so together, always connected, and when Maria had decided to go away that summer, she had known what a big step it was for her. She wasn’t even going to be with Liz.

The time away had been amazing, though she had missed them both terribly. She had expected to come back and find everything exactly the way she had left it. She had assumed that life would be waiting for her when she returned, just as it had been. She had changed over the summer; she knew that. She just hadn’t expected everything else to.

She had felt that something was different the minute she had come home. She had known her brother was hiding something by the way he wouldn’t meet her eyes when she asked how his summer at home had been.

“Kyle, who do you think you’re talking to here? Remember me? I was born three minutes before you; I’ve been your twin since birth? I know when you’re lying to me, stupid. Now, spill it.”

Kyle had evaded her questions as long as he could, but Maria would not be deterred. She was relentless in her pursuit, using every classic “annoying little sister” trick she could to wrangle it out of him.

But eventually she had let it go, somehow knowing by the way he was dodging her questions for so long that this was a big deal, something he was scared, for some reason, to tell her. Maria finally decided that her brother had never lied to her or kept anything from her without good reason, and if he was doing it right now, it probably was because he thought he was protecting her.

As much as it killed her not to know, she had finally stopped asking, secretly hoping that her silence would bring her brother, and the truth about his summer, to her.

They had been watching a movie, both curled up on opposite sides of the couch in the downstairs living room, when he finally told her.

It had been at least a week since she had come home and first asked him what was different, and Maria couldn’t believe that she still didn’t know, but a part of her was starting to accept that they were going into high school now, and pretty soon her brother would stop sharing a lot more than just what he did over the summer with her. Pretty soon, Maria knew their lives would be totally separate.

It came out of nowhere. One second their watching the T.V. screen silently, and the next minute he’s blurting out three words that would change everything.

“I like Liz.”

Maria blinked, looking over at him knowing she couldn’t have heard him correctly. “What?”

Kyle took a deep breath, turning from the T.V. to look her straight in the eye. “I like Liz.”

Realizing she definitely had heard him right the first time, Maria found herself at a loss for words, something that rarely happened to her. “You,” she said slowly, looking at him like he’d just told her he was an alien, “like Liz? As in, my best friend, Liz Parker?”

Kyle nodded, his eyes never leaving her face.

Maria turned towards the T.V., still remarkably quiet. She turned back to him, “and does she like you?”

Kyle nodded again, and Maria made a small “oh” sound before turning back to the T.V. for a second time.

She could feel Kyle’s eyes on her, gauging her reaction. She could understand his silence before. She could understand his hesitation to tell her something like this. Of course he would be worried about how she would take it. This wasn’t some stupid thing, like he’d snuck a look at one of those naked magazines with Michael in the back of the gas station. This was big.

Kyle and Liz.

“Promise she’ll still be my best friend?”

Kyle shot her a look. “I would never take your best friend, Maria.”

His answer seemed to appease her, but then he could see something else in her eyes, hear another question on her lips.

“Promise you’ll still be my brother?”

She was scared that things would change, scared that she would be left alone. While Kyle knew that there were certain things that would never change between them, Maria was uncertain.

“I promise,” he told her, reaching across the couch and pulling her into his side.

Maria blinked, not even aware that she’d been crying as her mind took her back to such a long time ago.

Kyle had been right, as always. While he and Liz had eventually started dating, Maria had never been left out. Sure, things had changed, as they were naturally expected to, but Maria was lucky. Her friendship with Liz had been so strong, and her bond with Kyle so unbreakable, that even as things changed, they stayed the same. She never said it enough, but she loved them more than any other people in the world.

Now, she wished she had said it more. She wished she had told Kyle every day how much it meant to her to have him in her life, how she could not have asked for a better brother.

Maria stood at the door to his room, hand now resting on the cold handle. Though it was probably normal, Maria couldn’t help but think that the room had grown cold in Kyle’s absence. With his life, and warmth missing, everything about it would be lacking. She didn’t think her mom or dad had even been in there yet. She couldn’t believe she was actually going to go inside.

Drawing in a staggering breath, she pushed open the door to his room. She let it swing open in front of her before she took a step inside, never expecting to come across the person who now sat before her. His head in his hands as he sat quietly on the very edge of Kyle’s bed, Maria thought that she had never seen anyone look so sad.

“Michael?”

His head shot up at the sound of Maria’s voice at the door. Their eyes locked, and for a moment, Maria could see everything he was feeling. Michael could see the pain she was in, it was written all over her face, but shone through her eyes like an overwhelming presence that demanded attention and would not subside.

He could only imagine what it was like to live every moment with that.

The thing was, Maria could see the exact same thing as she looked at him. And when he blinked and looked away, severing the connection between them, she didn’t know how to respond. She stood frozen in the doorway; he sat silent on the bed.

She wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. How could she provide him comfort when they were suffering in the same way, when she couldn’t even comfort herself?

So, she said nothing. Instead, she walked slowly into the room, coming to the edge of the bed and sitting down wordlessly beside him.

<center>To Be Continued...</center>

Hi guys!

So, here it is...I hope you guys enjoy it. We finally get to meet Max Evans! (yay! even I'm excited lol) Feedback is very much appreciated it, since I am nervous about how this part turned out. I know this is just a taste of Max and Liz, but trust me there is plenty more to come!

Any fan artists out there? This fic needs a banner if anyone would like to make one. PM me if so, I would love you forever!

Again, Thanks for being so patient!

<center>Part Four</center>

Michael and Maria sat beside each other for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say, or even wanting to break the silence that hung between them. Both of them were so caught up in the emotions swirling around inside of them that words seemed insufficient. There didn’t seem to be anything they could say that would describe how they felt, or somehow make things better.

But after a long silence, Michael finally spoke. He didn’t even look at her, unable to meet her eyes again because he was afraid to see what he saw every time he looked at himself.

“You shouldn’t be here, Maria.”

She looked up at him, trying to catch his gaze, but unable to do so. She continued to stare, confused by his words.

“Please, Maria. Just get out of here.”

She didn’t move, just continued to watch him as his jaw set, his face strained with the effort of keeping his emotions in check. He was struggling with something, that much was obvious, but Maria couldn’t understand what it could be that would make him tell her to leave the room. This was her brother’s room. This was Kyle’s place. She wanted to be here, and for some reason she could not understand, she wanted to be here with Michael.

When she didn’t move, Michael seemed to lose it. He shot from the bed, pacing furiously in front of her, hands in his hair as he spoke out into the room, directing his words at her, but never looking in her direction.

“How can you be here? How can you even sit next to me after what I did?” he asked furiously, eyes blazing with self-loathing as he finally met her searching eyes.

“Michael, I—,”

“I’m a murderer, Maria,” he spat out, grabbing her arms and pulling her up from the bed. Despite his anger, his grip was gentle. His touch displayed none of the fury that continued to flame in his eyes and his words. She stood in front of him, voice caught in her throat. “I killed him,” he continued. “I killed your brother, and you…” he looked down at his hands, still holding onto her shoulders. He pulled them back as if he’d been burned by the touch. “You shouldn’t be sitting next to me. No one should be near me, because I’m just going to hurt them, too.”

There had been no force in his grip, not even the slightest bit of pain directed toward her, but Michael took a step away from her, as if his hold on her arms had been dangerous, as if his presence near her was going to cause her nothing but pain.

“Leave, Maria. Just stay away from me.”

He turned away from her, leaning onto the dresser as angry tears he couldn’t control forced their way into his eyes.

Maria did not consider leaving for a second. She watched the erratic rise and fall of his chest as his hands braced the wooden dresser in the corner of the room. And finally, she took three strides forward, crossing the room and standing behind him. She pulled his shoulder, turning him to her, before throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered into his shirt, tightening her hold as he tried to protest, as he tried to pull away. “It was a horrible accident, and it wasn’t your fault.”

He tried to fight her, tried to ignore the words spilling from her lips over and over into his chest, but finally, Michael couldn’t fight anymore.

He couldn’t be strong anymore. He couldn’t push her away. His arms wrapped around her small frame, and he buried his face in her soft blonde hair, finally letting go.

She could feel the tears he was trying so hard not to shed fall down his face and land softly on her shoulder. Each one a layer of the wall he had built around himself slowly falling away. Each staggering breath he drew in as he squeezed her tightly too him like a small bit of pain finally starting to heal.

Maria couldn’t let him go. For the first time, the one person she had constantly been at odds with was the only person she understood; and somehow she knew that he understood her, too. She knew that they were connected in their pain, fighting through the sadness built up inside them for everything that had happened over the last two weeks.

Maria cried for Kyle, for the loss of a brother, a twin, who had meant everything to her. She cried for her parents, for Michael, and she cried for Liz. She cried because she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that nothing would ever be the same.

****

Michael watched Maria carefully as she took bites of her sandwich and picked at the fries on her plate. For someone who hadn’t eaten much in the past week, she hardly had an appetite, but Michael had been adamant about taking her to lunch. They had left her house in silence, driven to the beach where Michael had been that morning, and walked along the sand. They hadn’t talked very much, both lost in their own thoughts about everything that had happened and their own confrontation in Kyle’s room.

When they had reached the pier, it took a lot of convincing on Michael’s part to get Maria to go into the small diner. She knew she needed to eat, but for some reason the thought of food had been making her feel more sick than the lack of nutrition her body was dealing with.

It took Michael, and the thought of her parents’ concern for her well being to get her to place her order. Each bite seemed harder to swallow then the last, but she ate in the hopes of putting their minds at ease.

She didn’t really know what to say to Michael after what had happened between them back at her house. Her mind couldn’t really process the guilt that was weighing on his shoulders. She still couldn’t believe that he felt so responsible for what had happened, that he thought of himself as dangerous.

When they had finally pulled apart, Michael didn’t even look at her until finally suggesting they go to the beach. A part of Maria had wanted to go back to her bed, so she could hide from the overwhelming emotions she was feeling. She thought that if she could just sleep for long enough, that she would wake up one morning and it wouldn’t hurt so much. It wouldn’t be so painful just to breathe, just to exist without her brother. She thought that if she would finally be able to feel something other than the hole in her heart.

But as much as she wanted to run away, the look on Michael’s face had changed her mind.

Walking downstairs, she found her parents still in the kitchen, but the conversation had changed to silence. Both of them looked up immediately from what they had been doing at the sound of Maria entering the room.

Her mother had come over to her and pulled her into a hug, the relief at seeing her out of bed written all over her face. Her father had come over as well, standing next to Michael and watching his wife and daughter embrace.

“How are you doing, Michael?” he asked, looking at the boy who had been his son’s best friend for so long. Michael had always been like an added member of their family. He was always over for family dinners, always stopped by on holidays, and now he was the boy who was somehow responsible for getting his baby girl out of bed. Mr. Valenti’s gratitude for this boy’s presence in his children’s lives went unspoken, because he could not find the words to express it.

“I’m doing okay,” Michael told him, watching Maria and her mother as well. He could not meet Mr. Valenti’s eyes, his mind still on his thoughts he had just shared with Maria. He was worried for the same reasons he had been upstairs. He was still unsure of what Mr. and Mrs. Valenti thought when they looked at him, and Michael did not want to have his fears confirmed. He did not want to know if they blamed him for what happened. He didn’t think he could handle it.

Instead he opted for a way out. “I was wondering if I could take Maria out,” he asked her father. “I know we’re missing school, but I thought maybe it’d be good to at least get out of the house.”

Amy answered immediately, pulling back from Maria to plant a kiss on her forehead. “Of course you can,” she said as she smoothed the hair from Maria’s face, looking at her baby girl’s tired and sad eyes and feeling her heart break. She could not stand seeing her little girl in so much pain, and Amy was behind anything that would help.

She shared a look with her husband, who nodded, walking over to give Maria a hug and kiss. “I think that’s a great idea.”

Maria smiled at her parents, unable to say how grateful she was to have them in her life. She knew how worried they were about her, and somehow felt just a little bit better knowing this would make them happy.

“We won’t be gone too long,” she told them.

“That’s fine, baby,” her mother said, “You guys just have a good time, okay? Call us if you need anything.” She looked to Michael when she said that, and Michael met her eyes for the first time, surprised by what he saw.

There was no blame, no hatred or resentment, just overwhelming gratitude looking back at him. Michael smiled at her reassuringly, and had to look away. He turned to Maria, “want to run upstairs and get dressed? I’ll wait for you in the car.”

She nodded, gave her parents another hug before heading upstairs. Michael was left alone with Mr. and Mrs. Valenti, who walked with him to the front door. “Thank you so much, Michael,” Amy said as she pulled him into a hug. “You have no idea how much this means to us.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, returning the hug and then pulling away to shake Jim Valenti’s outstretched hand. “I’ll have her back in a couple of hours, if that’s okay with you?”

“Of course,” Jim said.

Michael hopped into the car, waiting for Maria before she finally came down and they left. Maria was hesitant about going back to the beach, because she had so many memories there with her brother, but Michael had suggested it for a reason. The beach was where Michael felt closest to Kyle, and if he thought that would help him feel better, if the memories he had of her brother brought Michael comfort, then she wanted to go with him for that reason.

Now, sitting in the diner, Maria let the noise of the customers drown out all of her thoughts. She and Michael had not said much since they had left her house. She stared at her plate, trying to find something to say to break the silence, but unsure of where to start.

Michael was surprised by how different he felt as he sat in their booth, compared to how he’d felt that morning. Hearing Maria’s reassurance that she didn’t blame him for Kyle’s death had lifted some of the crushing weight from his shoulders, but he knew it would never be completely relieved.

Finally, Maria looked up from her plate. “Why are you doing this?” she asked quietly.

She and Michael had never really gotten along. Every time they had been around each other, Maria had felt like a pest. While she and Kyle had gotten along, Michael had always looked at her as the annoying little sister he had to put up with because of his friends. Even though the four of them had always been together, Maria had always thought that her and Michael would kill each other if it weren’t for Liz and Kyle keeping them apart. She never thought they’d spend more than five minutes together without the other two around.

Michael looked at her, thinking hard about her question, his mind mirroring her own thoughts about the relationship they had up until this point. It had always been weird for him, hanging out with Kyle and having Maria tag along. He didn’t even know why he’d always looked at it like that, why she hadn’t just been one of his friends. She was a fun girl and she was usually up for whatever they wanted to do, but they had fallen into a pattern of bickering that Michael had never seen a reason to stop. They were friends because of their connection to Kyle, plain and simple. So now, the fact that they were sitting across from one another, without him, was a little strange.

But then, Michael thought, that maybe it wasn’t. “I don’t know,” he told her truthfully, but then he thought about the feeling he’d been having all morning while he was around her. “I guess it’s because of Kyle.” This time Michael looked down at his plate. “I think this is what he would’ve wanted.”

Maria felt her eyes fill at the thought of her brother. “How so?” she asked.

Michael thought about the times they had gone out, the four of them. Kyle had always been looking out for Maria, always concerned with what she was doing and if she was okay. It was never in a controlling way, and never stopped them from having fun, but Michael had always looked at Maria’s presence as a burden because she was always on her brother’s mind. For the first time, he understood why they had never really gotten along.

And as he realized it, he also knew that it was that same reason that had him sitting across from her in the diner. “No matter what was going on, no matter how much fun we were having or how much I wanted Kyle to focus on something else, there was always a part of him that was thinking about you.”

Michael knew why he felt so much better this afternoon, and it had nothing to do with what had happened in his friend’s bedroom. “He would’ve wanted someone to look out for you, if he couldn’t do it himself.” He looked up from his plate and met her eyes. “I know he’d be okay with what happened, as long as he knew you were taken care of.”

Maria couldn’t help it, and she hid her face as she started to cry. Michael hated that she was upset, but he continued, because it made sense now, and he needed her to understand. “He was my best friend, and I was annoyed the first time he asked me to look out for you if he ever couldn’t, but now all I want to do is protect you,” he told her honestly,” for him.”

Maria stayed silent for a moment, the heaviness of his confession pressing on her heart as she thought about his words. She thought about her brother, and all the things Michael had said, and she knew that he was right.

“Thank you,” she said finally, wiping her eyes. She didn’t know what to say, again so overpowered by what was going on between them. “Thank you, Michael.”

And as he smiled at her, before going back to his lunch, Maria felt something change. For the first time since the accident, she felt like things were going to be okay.

****

Max Evans was not excited for his first day at his new school, to say the very least. To be fair, Max had not been excited about much in the past few weeks, even the past few months of his life, but coming to a new school in the middle of his senior year ranked pretty high on his list of things he did not want to deal with.

It was supposed to be the time of his life, getting ready to graduate and go to college. He was supposed to be living it up with his friends, throwing parties, slacking off in class, and not worrying about anything of importance. He’d already applied to all of his college choices, and now was just waiting for his letters, but the time in his life when he was supposed to be the most carefree, was actually quite the opposite.

He walked into the front office, walking up to the secretary. “I’m Max Evans,” he told her, “I’m supposed to start school here today.”

Whether it was because of how bored he sounded, or just how much work she had to do, the secretary looked up at him, slightly annoyed. “Sit and wait there,” she told him. “The head of Student Government will be in to show you around in a few minutes.”

Trying to keep some of the sarcasm from his voice, he thanked her and sat down to wait. This was it, his new start, and the first person he came into contact with was about as excited as he was.

He didn’t want to be so pessimistic, but the past few weeks had done little to instill any optimism. He found the idea of this “new start” to be completely ridiculous. It was all part of the plan. A new start to make everything better, to make the past disappear, but Max could hardly believe that coming to a new school would be the way to do that.

Sure, it seemed logical to his father, but Max and his dad had been at odds about everything lately.

Max continued to wait, until finally, the door to the office burst open and he was bombarded with a frenzy of energy. Max had never seen someone talk so fast, or move so much while standing still. The ball of energy talked a mile a minute to a small girl who was furiously trying to keep up as she wrote down notes in a small notebook.

He caught words like “committee” and “decorations”, but Max was doing his best to drown out what they were talking about. He was now preoccupied with the fact that this girl was obviously the head of the Student Government, and that she was going to be the one showing him around.

But any thoughts of annoyance that he had immediately vanished when she finally turned and he got a look at her face. He didn’t even have to try to drown out the words she was saying, because everything around him seemed to fade away. It was like the wind had been knocked out of him, and that was something that had never happened to him before, especially when it came to looking at a girl, but there was something about her.

Beauty, energy, light, all coming together to form the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, but it wasn’t even her looks that were affecting him. It was the fact that all of those things were doing their absolute best to overshadow the intense amount of pain that was hiding behind her eyes. It was something he saw every time he looked at his sister, and the sight of it in this stranger seemed to create an overwhelming pull inside of him towards her.

Max had become very good at looking past what people wanted you to see in order to find what was really there. Over the past few months, he’d been so caught up in a world where everyone was hiding what they felt that he had been forced to learn how to find it for himself.

And this girl was in more pain than anything he’d seen up until now. Suddenly, her wild energy made perfect sense. He knew that hiding what she was feeling from everyone around her was taking every bit of that energy she possessed.

Max was so caught up in staring at her, so wrapped up in wondering what she was hiding, that he was caught off guard when she finally turned her attention to him.

“You must be Max Evans. I’m Liz Parker, I’m going to be showing you around,” she introduced herself, reaching out to shake his hand before launching into the typical “Welcome to Your New School” speech that he assumed she had given many times before.

He had stood up when she had turned to him, which was a good thing because she started walking almost immediately. He followed her out of this office, listening to her talk about all the clubs and events and opportunities there were for him at this school. They walked around the halls, and he followed her as she stopped in different rooms and dropped things off or picked paperwork up.

She explained everything along the way, telling him about the lunch schedules and different places in the school.

“Can I have your schedule?” she asked, giving him a chance to speak for the first time.

“Sure,” he said as he handed it to her, opening his mouth to ask a question but closing it when she pressed on with her tour. He just stared at her in avid interest as she rambled on about where his classes were and what his teachers were like.

She reached into the huge binder she had been carrying and pulled out a manila folder, which contained all the information the school had about him. She pointed out the fields as they walked by, “I’m sure you might want to see the football field, but there really isn’t any time for that.”

It caught his attention that she not only avoided taking him to the football field, but also told him nothing about it as she talked about the other sports he had played at his old school. She told him everything there was to know about soccer, but never mentioned football again.

He couldn’t help but bring it up. “How’s your football team doing?”

Liz stopped abruptly, caught off guard by the question, but she regained her composure. “They’re doing fine. I wouldn’t worry about that though, it’s definitely too late for you to try out. Basketball is in the spring though, soccer too, so you should try out for that.” She changed the subject so fast he almost couldn’t stop her, but the fact that she was trying so hard not to talk about it made him want to bring it up even more.

“I was playing at my old school. Maybe I could talk to the coach, what’s his name?” he asked her, stopping in his tracks at the look in her eyes. She was clearly annoyed, “Coach Smith,” she said simply, before pressing on about the quad and a million other things.

He didn’t bring it up again. When she was finally done showing him everything, she handed him back his schedule. “Again, my name is Liz. I’m the President of the Student Government, and I’m here if you need any help at all. So, just let me know. You can usually find me in the front office when I’m not in class,” she explained with a smile. “Do you have any questions?”

Max waited for a second, to see if she was actually going to let him ask anything, but when she didn’t start talking again, he finally got a chance to speak. “Yeah, I do.”

She nodded, leafing through the pages in his file before putting the folder back into her binder.

“Why did you do that?” he asked. She shot him a confused look, unsure what he was referring to. “When I asked about football, you immediately changed the subject. What was that about?”

Something flashed in her eyes, and her slight annoyance quickly became full blown. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. If you don’t have any other questions, your class is just down the hall. Have a good day, Max.”

She turned to walk away, but Max immediately caught up with her, reaching out a hand to stop her. "Wait, Liz..."

The second he touched her arm; she spun around like the touch had burned her, ripping her arm away from him. She stared him down in a way that actually made him concerned. Not for him, but for her.

“Have a good day, Max,” she said fiercely, eyes flashing with anger before immediately snapping back to the bright false happiness she’d been showing to everyone else. “I’m sure you’ll really like it here.”

She walked away, and this time Max let her go. He stared after her, alone in the hall, his mind racing with curiosity. He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to her, what had hurt her so much that even the thought of a certain sport caused her to react so intensely. He couldn’t help but wonder what she’d gone through that would make the simplest amount of contact with another person feel like a burn.

She was beautiful, that much was obvious. She was clearly well liked, considering she was the President of her class. Max knew she had to have friends and people who cared about her, which is why he couldn’t understand what had happened to her that made her form a shell around herself that was so thick no one would even dare getting close to her.

She had made it clear that she didn’t want anyone to try and find out what was going on with her, but Max couldn’t help himself. As he walked to his first class, he made up his mind and decided right then and there to learn the truth about Liz Parker.

<center>To Be Continued...</center>