Roswell Fanatics

TITLE: BEAT OF MY HEART
AUTHOR: Kara
DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything.
RATING: Mature?
PAIRING: M/L
SUMMARY: Max is rich and Liz isn't so much. Best friends forever and a day. Max's parents want him with Tess. (She's rich.) Max likes Tess but doesn't love her. Realizes he really loves Liz. Who has secretly loved Max all her life. Max and Tess break up. Max and Liz get together just to find out that Tess is pregnant. Max doing the so called right thing and going back to Tess. (Max freaks out. ) Just to find out it was all a lie. That Tess wasn't really pregnant. (Finding out too later.) Liz left town with his child that he didn't know about. What happens when she comes home? Tell you more but I don't want to give away too much. Oh, Maria became Liz's friend after she ran away.

By the way. I'm not a doctor. What is wrong with Liz and her condition. Some of the treatment will be fact and some will be made up.

Please let me know what you think.



CHAPTER 1

"So that's it. Your just going to go?" Maria taking the sweatshirt out of the suit case I just put it in.

Taking the sweatshirt from her and putting it back in. "Maria." Trying to reason with her.

"Weren't you the one that said you couldn't go home? That your father would never except Jamie. That he basically disowned you when he found out you where pregnant."

"Yes."

Which was true. My father never would except Jamie. I never would except him hitting Jamie or watch him hit me.

"And you said that Max..."

Shutting the suit case. "I know what I said Maria." Cutting her off.

"Then why are you going back?"

"Because it's time, Maria."

I don't have much time left.

"Don't talk like that." Maria's tone changing.

"Maria." Sitting down on the bed.

"We are going to beat this."

Nodding my head. Not even going to try to argue.

What was the point anyway. Positive attitude. That was the key. At least when Maria and Alec are concerned.

"It's just time to go home."

"To Max and that Tramp of a ...."

Cutting her off. "Jamie needs his father."

"He hasn't needed him the last four years." Maria throwing up her hands in frustration.

That's because he had me.

Getting off the bed and pulling out Jamie's small suit case. "He needs him now."

"Liz."

"No Maria. I'm doing this. Please don't make this harder then it has to be. Please." Pleading with her to understand.

"I'm not letting you give up." Tears in her eyes.

Quietly. "I'm not giving up." Not meeting Maria eyes. Feeling the tears start to sting her own eyes.

I'm just being realistic. The chances of me getting a new heart.... Pushing the thought away. "It's just time Maria. We both knew this day would come."

"But going home. To Max. He hurt you Liz. You were a mess when we first met."

"It's going to be fine."

It has to be. For Jamie sake.

"With your Father and Max. Everything. Your not suppose to have any stress. Stay here. Your family is here now. Let us take care of you and Jamie."

Feeling the tears slipping down her cheeks. "Maria, I love you. I appreciate everything you and Alec have done for me. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you and Alec. Your the best friends a person can ask for and more. But it's time. I have to do this now. While I still have the strength. Please don't make this any harder."

"Oh honey." Pulling her into her arms. "I just love you. I want what's best for you."

"I know. I love you too."

"Are you sure this is really what you want?"

What I want is to be health like I use to be. What I wanted was to be a doctor. What I want is Max's arms around me again. What I wanted was to be a family with Max. What I want is to be able to run around playing with Jamie all day long. What I wanted was Max to be here. What I want is Max to take one look at Jamie and fall in love with him. What I wanted was a loving Father, not someone that blamed me for my mothers death. What I want is to live to see Jamie grow up.

What I would settle for the moment is to get through the next several days.

Nodding. Not trust her own voice at the moment.

Pulling back. "Good. Because I'm going with you."

"Maria."

"End of discussion. It's decided. Besides, your going to need help with munchkin."

Wiping the tears off her cheeks. Knowing once Maria made her mind up, that was it. "Thank you." Couldn't help but feel relieved that Maria was going.

Hearing the front door slam and little feet pounding up the short hallway. A moment later.

"Mommy." Jamie comes running into her open arms. Nearly knocking her over. "Mommy. We going on trip?" Looking down at the suit cases.

Easily picking up Jamie. "Why, yes we are honey." Sitting down on the bed. Looking down into Max's eyes.

Jamie was beautiful and small for his age. He was born almost 10 weeks early. Spending the first 7 months of his life in the hospital. He was still small for his age but he is perfect. He was the perfect combination of her and Max. Her nose and lips with Max's eyes and ears. Jamie was a constant reminder of the one night of love that her and Max shared.

"We all are." Looking up to see Alec standing in the door way.

Alec my saver. "Alec."

Just like his sister.

"We're all going?" Jamie looking up at her questionably.

Once he made up his mind that was it.

Not even going to bother to protest. "I think so honey."

Feeling so grateful for my extended family. I don't know what I would do without them.

"YES!" Jamie throwing up his little arms.

Besides, I'm going to need all the help I can get. Having not been home for five years. Leaving shortly after I found out I was pregnant. My drunk of a father finding the home pregnancy test. I thought I hidden well in the garbage. Calling me a whore and hitting me. Started using that as a new excuse to hitting me when he wanted.

Max having basically a nervous break down about a baby and marriage that he didn't want. Not being able to bring myself to cause Max any more stress.

Feeling scared and all alone.

Taking a picture of me and Max together. A picture of my mother. The few clothes I had with every cent I ever earned. I was saving for the day I would leave for college and get away from my father. All $3637.89.

I decided to leave. Not being able to bare the thought of raising my child in a house with my father. I left. Buying a bus ticket to Colorado Springs. A place Max had gone vacationing at one time or another. Max always loved the place. I always imagine that they would live there together one day.

I found a nice small one bedroom apartment that I could afford. Where I met Maria and and her brother Alec who each had their own apartment there. All of us quickly becoming good friends. Alec got me a job at the local hospital where he worked at. Not even a week later as a nurses assistance.

The job was perfect. It had health benefits , a day care center and a paying nursing program.

The plan was to work until I had Jamie. Take off the six weeks after he was born. Then go back to work and start the nursing program the following year. It wasn't a doctor like I always dreamed of becoming, but it was do able.

My life was all set. That was until I collapsed one day a work. Coming to find out that I had cardiomyopathy. The doctors wanted me to have an abortion and start me on treatment right away. Going against medical advise I had Jamie and delayed treatment. Causing my heart to weaken further. Try everything they could. Drugs. Rest. A pace maker.

Things haven't turned out exactly as I planned.

And now.

Well now, I'm going home.

To Roswell.

To Max.

For Jamie.

Because that was one thing I have learned through all this. I would do and sacrificed everything for Jamie.



Should I keep going?

CHAPTER 2


Willing sleep that won't come.

Opening my eyes to the steady passing of blackening scenery. Having decided to leave in the late afternoon so Jamie could hopefully sleep most of the way.

The cool car window feeling good on my forehead but doing little to sooth my nerves. Willing my body to just relax.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Nice slow breathes.

If I feel this way now. What am I going to feel when I get there? Stress being the last thing needed but becoming more apparent each minute.

Who was I kidding? This was going to be nothing but stress.

That's why I had to do it now. While I was still strong enough. While I was still alive.

"Stop it. Positive thinking." Maria voice sounding in my head. "Your going to live. We are going to find a new heart and beat this. Live happily ever after."

Smiling. It's sad when I can hear Maria voice in my head.

They have been on the road for about 8 hours now. Maria and Jamie finally falling asleep in the back seat a little more than a hour ago.

I wish I could just sleep. Sleep would help. Maybe Maria was right. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Contemplating my decision once again.

This was just something I couldn't write in a letter or email. I at least owe Max more than that.

"You should try to get some sleep." Alec keeping his voice low.

"I know." Keeping her voice just as low.

Sleep has not came easy ever since I decided to go.

"No law saying we have to get there tomorrow." Alec giving her an out. "We could stop and see the scenery. Maybe even take in a few detours. Jamie would love it. One big adventure."

No. If I don't do it now. I'm not going to. Little by little feeling my nerve leave. "No. I'm alright. Besides, don't you need to be at Roswell Mercy by Monday?" If we don't do this now. I won't.

Alec just so happens to be consulting on a case at the hospital in the town we are going too.

How convenient. Why do I have the feeling that the case is going to turn out to be mine?

Not putting it past Alec at all. He was always looking out for me.

Alec nodding his head. "No one said I had to be there at a certain time in stone. I'll get there when I get there."

That defiantly proves it. He's going for me. "I'm fine." Trying to sound braver then I felt. I have to be.

Glancing back to Jamie. Seeing him suck his thumb. Something he has always done since he was little when he became worried or scared. Mostly when I was having a hard time. He was so in tuned to me.

Feeling guilty all over again.

So small for his age yet so caring and observant. Sometimes it was hard to believe that he was here. Almost losing both their lives when he was born. Coming almost 10 weeks early. Jamie spending the first 7 months of his life in the NIC unit until his lungs and kidney matured. Jamie was small for his age but completely healthy now. No heart defect at all. Thank god.

Thankful everyday that I have Alec and Maria. Also feeling the guilt of them putting their lives on hold once again.

"Stop it."

"What?" Looking once more at Alec.

"We wouldn't be here if we didn't want too. I personal can't wait to see alien capital of the world. Besides, I heard I haven't lived until I had an alien smoothie."

Alec referring to the strawberry shakes I used to get at the Crashdown that I could never seem to find one that tasted as good.

"You haven't. Just wait. You will see."

"Try to get some sleep."

"I've tried."

"Want a sleeping pill."

"No." Not that desperate yet.

"Want to talk about it?"

Talk about it? What? That I'm dying? That I was terrified? The fact that I'm going home for the first time in 5 years?. The fact that I haven't spoken to anyone or so much as looked back since I left? The fact that I was going to tell Max for the first time that I had his son? The fact that I left with out even saying good bye? The fact I think I might be making a really big mistake? The fact that I'm terrified that Max won't want Jamie? That Tess and their kid won't except Jamie? Then there was Max's father to deal with. The last time I saw him he offer me 100,000 dollars to leave town and never look back. Is that really the type of people I want Jamie growing up with? What if I'm making a mistake?

All the same questions I've been asking myself for the last 5 years.

"About what?" Focusing once more on Alec.

"Oh, I don't know. We can start with who was hitting you before you came to town."

"WHAT?!" Looking at Alec.

Hearing Jamie stir in the back seat.

Lowing my voice once again. "No one. I fell." Falling back into the habit of lying. Hiding it. "I told you that I had an accident..."

Cutting me off. Keeping his voice calm and even. "Was it Max or your father?"

"Max would never." Quickly coming to Max's defense.

Alec nodding his head. "I thought as much." Glancing at me before focusing on the road once more. "I don't see you taking Jamie to meet him if he did."

"Why are you bring this up now?"

They never questioned me about it before. Alec and Maria always dropped the subject of Roswell when I dodge their question. Never questioned that I fell down some steps. Giving me the bruised face and ribs that I showed up with. They never drilled me for answerers. One of the reason I love them so much.

"It wasn't an issue before. You where safe now. I Just want you to fully understand what you where getting yourself into."

Nodding my head. I know. At least I hope I do.

"So your father?"

"Had nothing to do with it. I fell." Keeping my voice steady. Feeling ashamed that once ruled her life once again.

"Liz" Alec giving her a quick knowing look. "You forget I worked triage? I've seen enough to know the different between a fall and a punch. Not to mention that your not a very good liar."

Your wrong Alec. I can be a great liar if I had to be. Thinking of the constant excuses used to hide the damage that couldn't be hidden by cloths or make up. Not voicing the protest out loud. Then again. People tend to only see what they want.

Looking once more out the window. He right. Alec is far from stupid. Working as a 4th year doctor in the emergency room when they first met. Majoring in cardiology for the last 4 years now. Taking an interest ever since we found out about my heart. Alec was on his way to becoming a high national rank doctor. He would have accomplished more by now if it wasn't for the time off he took for me and Jamie.

Thankful once again for her friends.

"You don't have to give me any details. I just want to know what we are going to be dealing with."

"Isn't going to be an issue."

He was not the reason I was coming back.

"So your not going to see him?"

"Not unless we happen to run into him by chance."

Alec glancing at me once more. "And if we do?"

"I'll be fine. It's been 5 years. I'm not a kid anymore."

Taking my hand into his and bring it to his lips. Kissing it. "I know, love. Your not alone anymore either. I'm going to be here for you every step of the way."

Bring a smile to my face.

"You know I will never let anyone hurt you or Jamie."

"Yes."

Alec. My savor.

Lowing his voice further. "You know you can always count on me when you and Jamie are concerned." Squeezing her hand.

"I know." Whispering.

"You know you don't ever have to worry about Jamie. No matter what. Ever." Leaving the meaning understood.

Tears stinging her eyes. "Thank you."

The understanding was always there but Alec has never came right out and said it before.

"Now on a lighter note. Max."

Laughing. Wiping the tears in her eyes. "Max is a lighter note?"

"At least I am hoping."

"What do you want to know?" Alec never asking about Max before. Always being careful with me.

"I want to know why you didn't tell him."

"He was marrying Tess. Having his own baby with her. I'm sure Maria told you."

"A little." Glancing at her guilty. "But you loved him."

"Yes."

"And he loved you?"

"I thought so."

"Then why not tell him?"

"Because he was confused. Max was scared already. He didn't want kids. He wasn't ready to be a father."

"But he was having one with Tess."

"Yes. He was marrying her."

"Because she was pregnant."

"Because it was the right thing to do." Sighing "Max always does the right thing."

That was Max. The only out of character thing about Max. Was me.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Asking the question again.

"I didn't want to make things harder on him. Besides there was other issues. I was the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. His parents didn't even approve of us being friends. Much less anything else."

But Max choose you anyway."

"Yes, the friends part. They always made it clear that they wanted Max with Tess. When him and Tess broke up and we started dating. Max got into a huge fight with his father."

"Because he choose you."

"Yes. But as soon as he found out Tess was pregnant he want back to her."

"Because she was pregnant."

"Yes."

"But did he love her?"

"No. I mean yes. I'm sure he did. He wouldn't have been with her if he hadn't had some kind of feelings for her. Max wasn't the kind of person to get involved unless he did."

"And his family didn't like you."

"No. I mean his mother and sister were polite enough to me. His father on the other hand tried to pay me 100.000 dollars to go away and not ever come back."

"Excuse me?" Looking at her with a look of disbelief.

Nodding yes. "Road."

"100,000 dollars!"

"Road Alec." The car starting to drift across the yellow lines.

Alec focusing once more on the road. "Sorry." Straitening out the car. "He tried to bribe you?"

"Yes. He didn't want me influencing Max's life."

"Before or after you found out you were pregnant?"

"After."

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing. He didn't Really give me a chance to. I think I was in shock. I always knew he didn't approve of me but I never thought he would pay me to leave."

"Did you tell Max?"

"No, I left that same day."

Alec nodding his head.

"Your not going to ask if I kept the money?"

"I know you didn't."

"Just like that?"

"Your not like that."

"You think you know me so well."

"Mmmmm. Yes."

"Your horrible." Pushing him.

Alec barely moving. "Sometimes." Nodding his head in agreement. "So what is the real reason you didn't tell Max?"

"I told you."

"You didn't think you were good enough for him did you?"

Alec. He knew her so well. "No."

Pulling into a gas station. Turning off the car before looking at her. Lowering his voice once more. Gently "You didn't think he would pick you." Alec stating her biggest fear out loud.

The one thing she never wanted to admit to her self.

Whispering. "No."

Don't really care with this part. But I can't play with it any longer. Sorry.


behralicious87- LOL, here you go. Thanks!



CHAPTER 3

MAX POV

"I'm telling you Max. The kid looked just like you. He has your eyes and ears. You know how your ears stuck out when you were little. I never thought you would grow into them. I swear if I didn't know better I would say he could have been yours and Liz's kid."

Feeling the sharp pain in the heart of the mention of Liz's name.

Michael has been talking about this kid and his mom non stop since I picked him up a half hour ago. Having seen them coming out of the alien museum yesterday.

"Can we let this go please. Max explain to me again why we always eating here?" Isabel sitting down in there usual booth.

"Because the food is good and it's my turn to choose." Having come here almost every Sunday for the last 5 years. Isabel asking the same question each time.

It has became a routine for the three of them to get together on Sundays for brunch each week. Being the only time he really had available between finishing the last year of law degree and working at fathers firm.

God, this place reminds me of Liz. Recalling once again the hours I used to spend watching her work.

It's been over five years and Dad's private detective still haven't found anything yet. It's like you just vanished. Where are you? Maybe I should hire someone else.

Will I always miss you?

Feeling that familiar tug of the heart.

Having dated and had girlfriends if you can call them that. Someone basically to satisfy the need for the night. Never something more or lasting. No one that measured up to you.

"More like heart attach waiting to happen. " Isabel's voice bring me out of my thoughts. "You always choose this place."

"I for one like the food." Michael sitting down in the booth opposite of Isabel.

"Michael you don't count. You will eat anything." - Isabel

"Never pass on a free meal. Did I tell you about the kids mom."

"Yes." Me and Isabel answering at the same time.

"Jamie, Jamie don't run. Wait up."

Turning towards the voice just in time to catch the small body that barreled into his legs. Steadying him before he fell backwards. "Whoa there buddy. Not so fast. " Seating down on the edge of the booth seat before letting the kid go.

"Not your buddy. I don't know you." Small boy looking up.

"Yeah I know....." Faltering as he looked down at the boy.

Impossible...

"Mommy said strangers are not buddy that...." Jamie trailing off as he finally looked at me. Eyes getting bigger.

My eyes.

Looking at almost an identical version of myself growing up.

No. It's not possible. What was the kid three?

"Jamie." The women finally catching up to him. "I told you to stay with me." Picking him up. "I'm so sorry. Sometimes he gets a little...." Voice trailing off too.

"That's alright." Still not taking my eyes off the boy.

Jamie

His eyes and ears. Liz's nose. No. I haven't seen Liz in over five years.

Watching the petite blond start to maneuver Jamie away from me.

Finally focusing on the women. No defiantly not Liz. Just a fluke.

"That's them." Michael whispering loudly.

"Aunty Maria! Guess what." Jamie whispering just as loudly

She is not his mother. Talks to good for three. He has to be older.

"He looks like my picture of my..."

"I know Jamie." Maria cutting Jamie off before he could finish the sentence. "Alec, We have to go now!" Starting to make her way backwards towards the door. Keeping herself between me and Jamie.

Could it really be? He is so small. Young.

"Wait." Finding his voice.

"I'm just wait on Liz's alien smoothie thingy.." Male voice behind him.

LIZ!

"ALEC!" Cutting the guy off. "We... need... to.. go...now." Drawing the words out through clench teeth. Tilting her head towards me."

Watching the Alec guy scan our table. Eyes finally resting on me. "Oh."

"Wait a minute" Standing up. "Did you say Liz?" Looking from the Alec to Maria.

"I'm sorry about Jamie bumping into you." Maria apologizing again before backing out the door with Jamie.

Turning towards Alec. "Do you mean Liz Parker?.."

Alec looking guilty at the door and back to me. "I'm sorry. I can't help you." Before heading out the door.

Liz was here? With the Alec guy and the girl Maria? And a kid. Jamie. His name was Jamie? My middle name. Well James but Jamie.

"Max?" Hearing the concern in Isabel's voice.

We were only together once.

"Didn't that kid look like you? Isn't that crazy?" - Michael

Mine? Liz? Was it possible? How old was the kid? 4? It's been over five years since I saw her. Is it possible? No. Wasn't the kid too young? Maybe just small for his age. Liz is tiny herself. I need to find out.

Finally moving. Rushing towards the door. Just to see a silver 2005 corsica pull out of the parking lot.

Plate number.

"License plate THW 252 Colorado springs."

"What?"

"THW 252 Colorado Springs."

"Max? Tell me that wasn't your kid." Isabel standing up next to him. "Because I could have sworn. If it wasn't for the fact I know you haven't seen Liz Parker in over five years....."

Cutting Isabel off. "Get the Sheriff on the phone. I want to know who they are. Where they are going. If they are staying here. Everything about them. Everything."

Michael pulling out his cell phone. Making the call.

"God Max, you sound just like Dad." Seeing Isabel physically shiver.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIZ'S POV


Hearing the door vaguely open and close in her subconscious. The soft pounding of small feet on carpet before feeling the dip at the end of the bed.

Physically willing my eyes too open.

Was it possible to still feel this tired? Not believing how much the car ride has taken out of me.

"Jamie. Let your mom sleep." Alec's whispers. "Come finish your sandwich and we will go to the park.

Blinking a few times before my eyes focused to Alec holding Jamie. "No I'm awake."

Jamie wiggling out of Alec's arms. Crawling up to me. Helping him crawl under the covers to lie next to me.

Something felt off.

"What happen?" Looking from Alec's guilty face down to Jamie's. Watching Jamie play with something in his hands. "What do you got there sweetheart?"

Jamie slowly holding out his hand to reveal the pocket size picture of Max she made for him.

At the age of 3 Jamie started questioning about his father and the picture of the two of us together, that lived on my night stand. Telling Jamie that his father would love him very much. Would be so proud of him. That Max would be with him if he could. That Max just had a different destiny to follow than the one that we were going.

Jamie seemed to except that answerer. Being three and all. Bright for his age. Already attending preschool he knew that all Daddies did not always live with their kids. It also helped to have Alec around.

Always stressing to him that his Daddy would love him very much. Telling Jamie stories of me and Max growing up.

Making him a copy of the picture of me and Max for the side of his bed and a wallet size picture of just Max to have and carry around with him if he choose to.

Jamie went every where with the picture of Max in his pocket.

Feeling my heart restrict at the sight of the picture.

Please Max. Love your son. Want him please.

"This is my daddy." Quietly looking at the picture.

"Yes it is baby." Looking up at Alec. Seeing the guilt in his eyes.

"Mommy, daddy loves me right?"

Jamie had no clue that we were here to see his father. Wanting to talk to Max and see how he felt and gave him time to adjust to the news before subjecting Jamie to him.

Where was this come from? Oh no. Please tell me they didn't run into Max while I was sleeping.

Looking up questionably at Alec.

"We ran into Max at the Crashdown."

"What?" Closing my eyes and slowly opening them again. Looking down at Jamie once more. There was no way Max couldn't know that Jamie was his son. No no no no. This is not how it was suppose to be. I was suppose to talk to Max first. Prepare him.

Planning on going down to his Father law firm on Monday. Finding out last night that he did indeed work for his father. It was always the plan ever since he was little that one day Max was to take over the multi million dollar business. Making it easy for her to find him.

"Does he mommy? Does my daddy love me."

"Baby." Pulling Jamie close to me. "Jamie you are the best little boy in the whole world. Anyone couldn't help but love you."

Jamie squeezing her tight. "But will Daddy?"

"Yes baby. Remember when I told you that you will be a surprise that Daddy didn't know he wanted?"

"Yes."

"You are going to be the best and biggest surprise ever."

Please Max. Don't break your sons heart.

Feeling Jamie nod his head.

"Your daddy is going to love you very much."

Jamie looking up suddenly. Huge smile on his face. "He called me buddy."

"He did?" Looking from Jamie to Alec back to Jamie again.

Jamie nodding his head eagerly. "Yes. I can be his buddy because he my daddy right." Looking at me hopefully.

Feeling her heart restrict once more. "Yes baby."

"Because Daddy not a stranger right."

Nodding my head. "No baby.." Tears stinging my eyes.

You missed out on so much Max. Feeling the guilt go through me.

Did I really make the right decision all theses years? The question I have asked myself every day since I left. Sometimes I had an answerer. Most days I didn't.

"Come on buddy. Go finish your lunch and we will go to the park."

"With Mommy?"

"We'll see." Seeing the concern in Alec's face.

"Yes with me." Reaching out and tickling Jamie. "Now go finish your lunch before I eat it all."

Jamie giggling. "Stop Mommy." Wiggling away from her. "Will Daddy be there?"

"Not this time baby."

"Oh." Jamie looking down on his hands.

"Tell you what Jamie. You finish your sandwich all gone and I'll push you on the swings."

Smile on Jamie's face. "And Mommy too."

"Yes Mommy too."

"But not as high as me. She might fall."

"No, not as high as you."

Jamie suddenly throwing himself into her arms. Knocking her back. "I love you mommy."

"I love you too baby."

"Guess what?"

"What baby."

"Now I'm going to have a Daddy too."

Feeling the tears slip down my cheeks. "Yes, Baby."

Please Max.

Hope you liked......


CHAPTER 4

MAX POV

This can not be happening. Can not. I would know if I had a son. I would know. Wouldn't I? Liz would have told me. She would have. What we had was special. Liz would have told me.

Pacing back and forth in front of the Crashdown.

Why would she tell me? I was with Tess. She thought I was marrying Tess. Liz thought I was having my own kid with her.

Laughing out loud.

Sounding cynical to my own ears.

What a joke. Tess was a joke. Lying about the baby. Thank god I found out before it was too late.

But it was to late. Liz was already gone.

Gone with our child?

I still can't believe that Liz left with out saying goodbye. Much less with my child. But she did.

Feeling the hurt and anger go through me.

Did I really give her another choice? Last time I saw her I walked away with her in tears. Telling her that I didn't want a baby. That it was destroying my life. That it would hurt too much to see her ever again and not be able to hold and kiss her.

But that was because I was with Tess....

No. No. No. No. No. Pushing the image out of my head.

"Max would you please stop pacing!" Isabel standing in front of me. "We don't know anything yet."

"Don't know? Don't know what Isabel. You saw that kid. Jamie. You saw Jamie."

Jamie. My son's name is Jamie.

"So he has your middle name. That doesn't mean that he is yours Max."

"Can you honest stand there and tell me that Jamie does not look exactly like me?"

Can she really be serious?

"Not exactly....." Hearing the uncertainty in her voice.

"Your right Iz. He has Liz's nose."

"Max. That kid is too young to be yours." Isabel trying to be rational. "You haven't seen Liz Parker in over five years. That kid can be no older than three. Just turned four at the very most."

"Is he?"

I'm not so sure. Sure Jamie is small. But Liz was small too.

Where is the sheriff?

As if on cue Michael's phone rings.

"Michael Guerin." Pause. "Yes sheriff." Pause.

Taking a step towards Michael. Reaching for the phone.

Michael holding up his hand. Stopping me. Begins to repeat everything the sheriff said. "Alec Deluca. Maria Deluca." Hesitating a moment. Looking him straight in the eyes. Nodding his head. "Elizabeth Parker."

Liz. She was here.

"And the kid? Anything on him?" Watching Michael open and close his eyes. Taking a beep breathe. Softer. "James Evans."

"My god." Isabel covering her mouth with her hands.

Feeling the wind get knock out of me. James Evans. Evans.. It's true. Liz gave him my last name. Jamie.

"Staying at the Holiday Inn next to the park on Crescent. Two adjoining rooms . Ground level. Room 102 and 103. Paid through for the next two weeks on Alec Deluca's credit card. Permanent address 3562 Pueblo Drive. Colorado Springs. Colorado."

They have lived in Colorado all this time. How could my Father's private detective not know? Jamie has my last name. With public records Liz would have been easy to find having a son. My son...

"No one has any priors." Pause. "Yes." Pause. "Birthday November 11, 1999. Maxwell Evans is listed as the father on the birth certificate."

I have a son. Jamie is my son.

"Do what you can. Thanks Sheriff." Michael hanging up.

"Max you have a son. What are you going to do? How is this even possible?"

"I think the better question would be what are they doing here now after all these years." Michael placing his hand on my shoulder. "You alright?"

"Max what are you going to do? What are you going to tell Mom and Dad? How is it that Father didn't know?"

Father.

How could his Private detective not find Liz? Incompetent? No. We have used him in other cases and have he has always came through. Even in the toughest of circumstances.

But not be able to find Liz?

He had to know about Liz. It's not like Liz was trying to hide from me. Sheriff wouldn't have been able to put together all this information so quickly if she was. Maybe she just wanted to be found now? There is only one way to know for sure.

Father.

Would he have really have kept that information from me? He knew how much Liz meant to me. How much I wanted to find her. It was his idea to hire the detective.

His idea....

Recalling past conversation.

When Father found out we were dating.

'I love her.'

'Elizabeth Parker is not the sort of girl I want you to end up with. Never marry. Sure she is good enough for a little tryst but not the big picture Maxwell. It is time you get with the program. Stop doing charity. Time you started taking responsibility for your family. I let you indulge in this little fantasy too long. Stay away from Elizabeth Parker. She has no place in your or our world.'


After I found out Liz was gone.

'I'll tell you what Maxwell. I'll have my best private detective on the case. He will find Elizabeth Parker. You don't worry about it any longer. Concentrate on your work and studies. I'll find her for you.'


Checking in a year later.

'No son. Nothing. I promise if she is out there we will find her.'


Talking to the Private Detective.

'Your Father said I was suppose to report to him to on the matter of Elizabeth Parker.'

'Liz is my ex girlfriend. You are doing it for me.'

Hesitating a moment. 'Sorry we haven't found any new leads.'


'Liz is not the type of girl you marry.'


Closing my eyes.

Please tell me that I haven't been this stupid. Father, please tell me that you haven't lied me. Please tell me you didn't know about Jamie.

Something in my heart telling me that he did. Father seemed to always know everything.

How stupid can I be?

Why didn't I just look for her myself instead of throwing myself into school and work?

Oh that's right. Everytime I meantion finding Liz on my own. Father would add more work load. More responsability with the company.

How can I be so stupid?!

"MAX!" Isabel pulling me out of my thoughts.

"You need to talk to her. Find out what is going on."

"I need to think." Walking to my car.

"MAX! MAX! Where are you going?" - Isabel

"Let him go Isabel. He needs to do this himself." - Michael


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIZ"S POV

"Are we all set?" Alec coming into the room.

"Have to finish tying my shoe." Jamie concentrating on finishing the knot.

"Liz?" Clearly hearing the concern in his voice.

"I'm fine Alec." Looking up from where I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Maybe you should try to take a nap."

"I'm fine."

"Hungry? I could go get you something else."

"Alec." Giving him a warning look.

Watching him hold up his in surrender. Coming to sit next to me on the bed.

"Done." Jamie looking up proudly from is work.

"Beautiful. I think it's your best one yet."

"Mommy, you always say that."

Maybe because they all are."

Jamie giggling. "Your silly Mommy. They can't all be the best."

"Fine. I guess I'll just settle for you being the best."

"Mommy!" Jamie rolling his eyes at me.

"Come here and give me a hug munchkin."

Not even a heart beat later Jamie was in her arms. Holding him close. "I love you."

"I love you to the door and back." Giggling.

"That far hun? Well I love you to the window and back."

Jamie giggling once more. "No you don't. You love me to the moon and back and more."

"Yes, I do Jamie. I love you yesterday, and today and more tomorrow."

"Always." Saying the last word together.

"And even when you can't see me you love me all the more. You whisper to me in the wind and warm me with the sun like a hug."

"And if it rains?"

"Your tears telling me how much you love and miss me when your not with me."

Squeezing him once more before pulling back. "That's right baby. Why don't you go see if Aunt Maria is ready to go? She's in the bathroom next door."

"Oh, she takes forever."

"Forever?"

"Forever and ever." Jamie making his way out the door. "Aunt Maria!"

"So what is on your mind?" Alec turning towards me as soon as Jamie was out of sight. Reading me so well.

"I think I need to get a hold of Max sooner. I'm sure he has questions and wants answerers."

"Are you sure you are ready to give him the answerers?"

"Have to be. Times up. I just need some time to collect my thoughts first"

"I'll take Munchkin to the park. Maybe catch a movie. I can't believe almost everything is in walking distance around here." Wonder in his voice. "So small compared to the Springs."

"Yes it is smaller." Seemed so big to me when I was growing up though. In some ways it still does.

"You stay here. Rest."

"You don't mind?"

"Not at all." Standing up and kissing her forehead. "Relax. Rest."

"I think I'm going to go out for a while. Get my thoughts in order."

"Liz." Hearing the concern once more.

"I'll take the car and I have my cell. This place isn't that big remember."

"The town isn't. The desert we drove through was." Still seeing the uncertainty in his eyes.

"I'm fine Alec. I'm not that far gone yet and I won't go that far."

"I know. It's just the trip has taken a lot out of you."

"I've rested."

"Not enough."

"I'll call even if I'm even a little bit winded."

Alec looking at her pointedly.

"I promise." This time holding up my own hands in surrender.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MAX'S POV

"Father."

"Maxwell. Thank god that you called. I need you to go to San Diego for me right away."

"Father I need to talk to you."

"That can wait. Look I need you to take care of this for me.. Just go straight to the airport. Don't even bother going home first. I have your bags packed for you all ready. The private jet is ready to go."

What the hell?

"Father."

"It's really important that you go now."

Revelation hitting me. He know's Liz is here. He wants me gone.

"Father."

"Maxwell, there is no time for chit chat. Its imperative that you go now."

"Did you know Liz had my son? That she is here in Roswell?"

Silence on the other end of the line.

"You did know?" Gripping the phone tighter.

How could I have been so stupid?

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Trying to deny it.

"You knew all this time and you didn't tell me. What else have you known? Have done?"

"Look Maxwell, I have no idea what that trailer trash told you."

Clinching his teeth. "Don't you ever call her that again. Good bye Father."

"MAXWELL!"

Hanging up the phone.

How could I be so stupid!

CHAPTER 5

LIZ'S POV


Pulling the car into the reservoir and getting out slowly.

Why was it that I always ended up here?

When I was younger I used to come here all the time. Always coming here when I needed to think, clear my head or just get away from my father.

My safe place. Well, besides being in Max's arm.

I haven't been there in years.

It still felt as calm and beautiful as ever.

Was it possible that it became more beautiful while I was gone?

I missed this place.

Walking slowly to the edge. Staring out at the water. Letting my thoughts go.

Was I doing the right thing? Would Max welcome Jamie into his life? How do I tell him that oh, sorry I just up and left all those years ago. Oh and by the way. I had your son. Not once did I try to call you.

That's not exactly true.

But I didn't talk to him.

No if I recall right I talked to his father.

Who said he was happy with Tess, vacation in Europe at the time.

And there was the two letters....

That both came back return to sender, unopened.

Does that really count?

What? Going to tell him in a couple of letters and a phone call. When I felt a few moments of weakness. Oh yeah, It's cool. Everything is all forgiven. Yeah, right. Just like that.

Sighing.

I really need to stop talking to myself.

Thoughts shifting. Recalling the last time I was ever here.

Knowing Max arrived. Without even looking. Feeling my body tingle before he even touched me. Before he even said my name.

How can the mere presence of Max make me feel like this? So special. Safe. Alive.

Feeling him behind me. "Max." Turning into his arms at once. "I missed you yesterday."

Feeling him pull me close to him. Hand through my hair as he pulled me tighter. Hurting my side from where I hit the wall earlier that day.

"Max." Trying to pull back, just to pull me even closer to him.

"Please." Desperation in his voice. Feeling his body shake in a sob.

Ignoring the pain immediately. "Max? What's wrong?"

Pulling me tighter.

"Baby?"

"Oh god." Another sob racking his body.

Making my heart race. "Max?"

"Just let me hold you please." Holding on to me like his life depended on it.

"It's OK. I'm here. I'm right here." Running my hand though his hair. Trying my best to comfort him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh god. What have I done?" Feeling another sob escape him. "I'm so sorry." Coming out a broken sob.

Done?

"Sorry? Max you have nothing to be sorry for."

What is going on?

"I'm sorry."

"Max your scaring me. Just tell me what is wrong?"

Shaking his head no.

"Is it your Dad?"

Did they get into another fight?

Shaking his head no. "I'm sorry Liz. I am so sorry." Another sob racking his body. Causing then both to fall to their knees.

"Max just tell me. Your scaring me. Tell me so I can help." Feeling myself becoming close to tears too.

"I'm sorry." Finally letting me go enough to pull back a little to see his face. The look of utterly devastation cause my heart to ache for him. "You can't help me. I am so sorry Liz."

"What happen?"

Nothing could be that bad.

"I'm marrying Tess. She's pregnant. She is having my baby. I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Coming all out in a hurried breathe.

I was so wrong.....

"What?" Feeling like the wind was knocked out of me.

He did not just say that. I heard wrong.

"I'm sorry baby. I am so sorry."

It's a mistake.

Pulling all the way out of his arms. Seeing the hurt in his eyes. "What?"

"Tess is pregnant." Holding onto my hands tightly.

"What? How?" Shaking my head. "I don't understand."

This is not happening. We are together finally. We are happy. Max loves me.

"Tess came to my house yesterday. And told me that she was three months pregnant."

"But?"

What? No this can't be happening. Max loves me.

"My father and Mother where there. It's decided. We are getting married in six weeks. I'm sorry."

"Just like that?"

What about me?

"She having a baby. My baby."

Feeling like he stabbed me in the heart. Taking my hands away.

No. This is some kind of sick joke.

The look on his face telling me that it was anything but.

Seeing him reach for me. Pulling myself back out of his reach. "Don't." Coming out harsher then I attended to.

How could he have done this to me?

Yelling. "DO YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT I WANT?! Standing up and starting to pace. "IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT IT! I DON'T WANT A KID! NEED A KID! DO YOU THINK THIS IS HOW I WANT MY LIFE?! MY LIFE IS OVER! ALL MY DREAMS ARE GONE! RUIN! ALL BECAUSE I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO KNOCK SOMEONE UP! I AM TRAPPED! MY LIFE IS ALL PLANNED OUT FOR ME! WHERE I AM GOING TO LIVE! WHERE I AM GOING TO WORK! WHO I AM GOING TO MARRY! MY GOD, THEY EVEN HAVE THE KID'S FRIGGEN NAME PICKED OUT! A BABY LIZ! I NEED A BABY LIKE I NEED A HOLE IN MY HEAD! DAMN IT! I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS! WANT THIS!"

"Don't do it." Coming out a small whisper.

You love me.

"What?" Stopping and staring down at me.

"Don't do it. Don't marry Tess."

Please.

"What?"

"You can still take care of the baby with out marrying her."

Hating myself for saying it. You love me. We are suppose to be together. Not you and Tess.

"I can't do that. She is having my baby." Signing. "It's the right thing to do." Seeing the defeat in his eyes.

Seeing him surrendering to the life planned out for him. The life without me.

Pain going though me again.

This can't be happening. You love me. ME!

"Say something please." Kneeling down in front of me. Pleading with me.

"Do you love her?"

"What?" Kneeling down in front of me. Touching my face. Wiping off my tears I didn't realize I was crying. "Liz, I love you."

Just not enough to stay with me.

"But you are going to marry Tess. You do love Tess." Not asking questions. Just stating the facts.

Tears streaming down his face.

"Not the same way I love you."

You chose Tess over me.

Hurt running deep.

This can't really be happening.

I slept with you. I gave myself to you. I waited my whole life for you. I never wanted anyone but you.

"But you slept with her."

"Yes. But it was before we got together. I didn't know...."

Taking his hands away from my face. Nodding my head numbly. "I know..."

What about us?

"I can't just abandon her. I'm sorry Liz."

No, you just can abandon me.

"I'm sorry too." Letting go of his hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Neither can I"

I can't believe this. I can't believe this.

Shaking my head. Clearing the painful memory of that day away. The day I thought my life ended. The day Max left me crying here alone. Never to see him again. Never to talk to him.

Finding out just three weeks later that I was pregnant with Jamie.

I've played the conversation over and over in my head. All the different scenarios of how I would tell him I left with his son. Always coming up with the same ending.

With Max hating me.

Nothing I ever say or do will let him forgive me. Why should he? Besides, Jamie is what is important. Max loving and wanting Jamie. That was all that mattered. Jamie.

Can Max get past hating me to give his son a chance? Will Tess? Their own child they had together?

Is this going to work?

Do I have a choice?

Sighing.

I just wish I had a chance to talked to Max before Jamie saw him. That way if Max didn't want him. Jamie would have never had to know.

I should have just told Max years ago. Before it got to this point.

Hearing the sound of a car pull up. Door open and close. Foot steps.

Great. Couldn't I have a few more moments of peace?

Not turning around.

Feeling the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Goose bumps up and down my arms. Tingle through out my body.

Only one person could ever make me feel that way.

Max.

He always did seem to know to find me here.

Is that why I came here? Because I subconsciously knew he would find me here?

Feeling his presence behind me. Still not turning around.

Feeling my heart start to pound. Ache.

No... No.

Breathe... Just Breathe...

Phone ringing in my pocket.

Feeling his hand touch my shoulder. Feeling the warmth spread through my body. "Liz?"

Heart pounding slower. Harder. Dull ache in my chest spreading.

"Max...."

Panic starting to rise.

Turning to face him. Simultaneously taking out my phone.

Alec cell. Flashing on the face of my cell. Hitting talk.

Not being able to bring the phone up to my ear. "Alec..." Coming out no more than a breathless whisper.

My hands start to tingle. Pain in my chest starts to intensify.

Dropping the phone.

"Liz... Liz are you there?" Alec voice on the phone.

No.... No.

"Liz?"

Looking up to see the panic in Max's eyes.

Causing my heart to restrict more.

Please not now.

Need a pill.

Blackening starting to creep around the edges of my vision.

Happening so fast.....

No. This is not happening now.

Just one pill.

Willing my body to cooperate.

"LIZ! LIZ! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Hearing the panic in Alec's voice from my cell.

"What's wrong?" Max taking a hold of me as my knees give away.

Trying to reach into my pocket to take out my pills I always carried.

"Liz?" Searching my eyes.

Barely feeling my fingers.

Not going to make it...

"LIZ! LIZ! ANSWERER ME PLEASE!" Alec yelling from the cell.

"Tell me what's wrong? Please." Max pleading with me.

Sorry Max....... Jamie... Trying to form the words that would not come.

"Liz look at me." Vaguely feeling his fingers on my face as the darkness takes over.

CHAPTER 6


MAX POV

Getting out of the car at the reservoir and there Liz was.

Just where I left her all those years ago.

Liz. Your here.

Hardly believing my own eyes.

Walking tentative to her. Almost afraid that she will disappear.

Liz's cell phone ringing. Watching her start to get it out.

Touching her shoulder. "Liz?"

"Max...." As she turned to face me.

It's really you.

Holding her phone up between them.

Seeing the fear and hurt in her eyes.

Am I the cause of it?

"Alec..." Coming out no more than a breathless whisper.

What? Alec. No.

Liz dropping the phone.

Why is she so pale?

Getting a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Liz... Liz are you there." Alec voice on the phone.

This isn't right.

"Liz?"

Something wrong. Watching her face pale more by the minute. Her bottom lip trembling.

Causing my heart to pound in my chest.

"LIZ! LIZ! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Hearing the panic in Alec's voice from the forgotten cell phone at our feet beginning to match my own.

Watching her start to sway.

"What's wrong?" Grabbing a hold of her to steady her.

Reaching into her pocket. Struggling to take something out.

"Liz?"

What is wrong?

"LIZ! LIZ! ANSWERER ME PLEASE!" - Alec.

"Tell me what's wrong. Please." Pleading with Liz.

Watching her eyes start to slide shut.

"Liz look at me."

Eyes closing.

No. No. No.

Sinking to the ground with her. Cradling her against my chest.

"What's wrong? I don't know what to do." Cupping her face. "Liz. Please. I don't know what to do."

Oh god.

"HELLO! HELLO IS ANYONE THERE?!" Alec yelling from the phone. "LIZ!"

Phone. Liz's cell.

Looking around me. Finding it to my right.

"HELLO! SOMEONE TELL ME THAT LIZ IS ALL RIGHT! DAMN IT!!!"

Grabbing it. Reading ALEC CELL on the front.

The tall blond guy that was with the Maria girl and Jamie.

"Alec?" Looking at Liz once more. "Come on and open your eyes. Liz look at me baby. Come on."

"Who's this?" Clearly hearing the panic in the guys voice matching my own.

Hearing a female voice asking what's going on in the background.

"It's Max."

"Max?"

"It's Liz. Something is wrong."

"What happened?"

"She with Max!" Female voice in the back ground.

"I don't know. I just got here and she collapsed."

"Is she breathing?"

"I don't know."

"Focus Max. Look at her chest. Is it rising and falling?"

"OH my god. Oh my god." Female in the back ground.

Watching her chest rise and fall slowly. "Yes but it seems too slow." Looking at her ghostly white face. Her blue turning lips. "It's really slow."

She's not getting enough air.

"Good. Where are you?"

"The reservoir but I don't think she is getting enough air."

"Maria call 911 tell them to send an ambulance to the reservoir."Alec talking to Maria in the back ground. "MARIA JUST DO IT!" Hearing Jamie faintly ask for his mother and Maria starting to call for help in the back ground. "Look Max I need you to check for a pulse. Do you know how to do that?" Alec talking to me once more.

"Yes. But her lips are turning blue."

"Damn it."

Feeling her neck for a pulse. Beating so faint and slow.

Is it uneven?

This can not be good.

"Max listen to me. Liz should have some small white pills in her pocked. In a small silver container."

"Her heartbeat is really faint and uneven."

"Pills Max. Find them and put one under her tongue."

Feeling her pockets. Feeling the small bulge in the right.

"Are you doing it?"

"Give me a sec."

"You don't have....."

Dropping the cell before he could finish the sentence. Pulling out a small silver case that had a L curved in it. Open it and taking one of the tiny pills out. Opening Liz's mouth. Placing the pill carefully under her tongue.

Come on Liz. Don't leave me now.

Watching her intensely for any response.

Please Liz.

"MAX! MAX! WHAT IS GOING ON? MAX!" Alec on the phone.

Liz please.

Is she getting paler?

Why is it taking forever for her chest to rise?

Feeling as if his own heart was going to beat out of his chest.

"MAX! MAX!" - Alec

Seeing her lips start to slowly turn pink once more. Her breathing start to even out.

Thank god.

Exhaling. Not even realizing that I was holding my breathe.

"GOD DAMN IT MAX TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON. I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!" Female voice yelling out the phone.

Picking up the phone.

"MAX!"

Pulling the phone away a little.

"She's better."

"What?"

"Her breathing evening out and her lips are no longer blue."

"Thank god. She better." Hearing Maria's sigh of relief. "Hold on Alec."

Hearing the fumbling of the phone. A moment later Alec on the phone. "Is she awake?"

"No."

"Pulse?"

Feeling for it once more. Feeling a very slow but uneven pulse.

Still slower then I would like.

"It seems to speed up a little but it still feels way too slow and uneven."

"Lips?"

"Getting pinker."

"Good. Good." Hearing Alec's own sigh of relief.

"What the hell just happened?"

"This isn't the time. The Ambulance should be there shortly. I need you to keep her in a sitting position. It will help her breathe. I'll meet you at the hospital."

"Alec."

"It's not my place to tell."

"Just tell me one thing."

Hesitating for a moment. "If I can."

Question going through my head.

What is wrong with Liz? Heart? Lungs? What did I just give her? Was it nitroglycerin? Is it the stuff you see heart patients take in the movies? Why did she leave? Have you been with her this whole time? Is Jamie alright? How long have you lived in Colorado? Are you with Liz? Does Jamie call you Daddy? What the hell happened here? Why didn't Liz tell me? What all did my father know? Did my father do anything to Liz? Did my mom know? Why are you here? Why did she decide to come back now? Are you and Liz together?

Only one seemed really important at the moment. "Is she going to be alright?" Staring at Liz's still pale face. Noting the circles under her eyes for the first time. How thin she felt. How the healthy glow that used to radiate off her was now gone.

She's sick. Liz is really sick.

Pausing for what seemed to be an eternity. "I hope so. See you soon."

Hanging up the cell.

"Don't you die on me now. You hear me?" Kissing her forehead.

Hearing the sirens in the distance.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIZ'S POV

Hearing the slow steady beep of my heart monitor and quiet whisper. The smell of disinfectant. The feel of the oxygen in my nose. Feeling of pads on my chest. The distinct pain in my chest.

Hospital.

Great.

Jamie.

Willing my heavy eyes to open.

Blinking a few times to clear the cob webs.

"Oh.." Feeling the dull ache of my chest intensify when I shifted a little. Stopping my movement.

"You ok?"

Turning to look at Alec. Sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Jamie?" Coming out a hoarse whisper.

Alec picking up the picture of water on the night stand. Pouring it into a cup of water. "He's fine." Handing me the cup.

Smiling gratefully at him before taking a sip.

The cold liquid soothing my dry throat.

"He's with Maria in the waiting room." Pausing a moment. "With Max."

Max! Max was at the reservoir. No. No. No. This was not good.

Pain increasing once more in my chest.

Heart monitoring sounding off.

"Easy." Taking the cup from me. "Relax Liz. Slow even breaths." Taking a hold of my hand as he studied the heart monitor. "Liz you need to relax. You can't take the stress right now."

"It's a little late for that don't you think?"

Willing my body to relax.

Lowering his voice. "You can't stand another attach right now." Taking a suring off the table. Checking it for air bubbles before picking my iv tube up.

"Alec."

"It's just a small sedative. Just enough to relax you a little. That's all." Pushing the fluid in. "We had to shock your heart back into rhythm already. I rather not have to do that again for a while."

Feeling the small rush of cold through my hand where the iv was attached.

Few moment later hearing the heat beat back to a slow steady beep.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired. What did Max say?"

"Wants to know what is wrong. He had to give you a pill when you were unconscious." Alec studying the heart monitor readouts once more.

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing, but he knows something is seriously wrong." Taking a quick glance at me.

Nodding my head. How could he not? One look of me would tell anyone lately that I was sick without me even passing out on them. Not the greatest first impression.

This is not how it was suppose to go.

Jamie.

"Did he ask about Jamie?"

"No." Alec looking at the door back to me. "I think he was a little distracted with you at the moment. Not that I've really had a chance to talk to him. I've been in here with you most of the time."

"How long have I've been here?"

"About 6 hours."

"Oh."

That's not good.

Taking me long and longer each time to recover from an attach.

"How did I get here?"

"We were lucky. Max picked up your cell after you passed out. He told me where you were. I had Maria call the hospital while I told Max what to do. We were really lucky that Max showed up when he did."

Nodding my head.

Rubbing my chest.

"Sore?"

"Lets just say I won't be running anytime soon."

Alec giving her a weak smile. "Sorry. Your going to be sore for a while."

Nodding my head.

I know. I know all to well.

Sitting on the edge of the bed once more. "Want to tell me what happened?"

"I don't know. I was thinking about the past and what to say to Max. Then Max showed up. The attack came on so suddenly. I'm sorry."

Watching Alec study my face.

Seeing the worry and concerned with out him saying the words.

"I had to come Alec. It was the right thing to do."

"Yeah, I know you believe that." Alec looking out the window.

"Alec."

"I'm just worried about you." Looking at me once more. Giving me a weak smile.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Speaking of worried."

"Jamie. Can I see him."

"I'll go get him." Starting to leave the room.

"Alec."

Stopping at the door. Turning back to look at me. "I'll tell Max to come back too." Clearly not liking the idea but not going to stand in my way nevertheless.

"Thanks."

Giving me a small smile. "At least this way I can monitor you and sedated you if I have to."

"Alec!"

"Hey, perks to being a doctor."

"Your horrible."

"You love me."

"Yes, very much so."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MAX'S POV

It's been over five hours now and the only information that I've got is that Liz was stable and still unconscious.

Stable. What the hell did that mean? Yeah, I know what stable was. It was better then critical. Better then touch and go. Much better then dying.

Just stable.

Come on. Can't anyone tell me something else? Like what exactly is wrong with Liz in the first place.

Not that I got much more information out of Maria. Refusing to answerer any of my questions.

Watching her sit across from me. Hands across her chest. Glaring at me. Where she has sat since arriving at the hospital and going off on me. Demanding to know what exactly did I do to Liz now. Yelling that Liz was not suppose to have any stress.

Thankfully, Alec was there to telling her to cool it before following an unconscious Liz through the double swinging doors.

Doors in which I was not allowed to follow. Apparently Alec was a doctor and he was.

Making me feel jealousy that I have never felt before.

Shifting the sleeping boy that held tightly my shirt. Careful not to wake him.

Jamie having thrown himself into me crying as soon as he saw me.

Maria trying to take him from me just to have Jamie get more upset. Screaming that he wanted his daddy.

He wanted me.

Maria finally giving up after realize that Jamie was not going to let me go and it was just upsetting him more.

Comforting my son as best I could. Making promise that his mother was going to be alright. That I was here now and would never leave him. Promises that I pray I could keep.

Surprising me how easy it was to calm Jamie down.

Jamie curled up on my lap sucking his thumb. Something that seemed to concern Maria a great deal.

After many failed attempts from me and Maria to get Jamie to eat, drink and talk. Only giving the occasional shake or nod of the head. Jamie finally falling asleep about two hours ago holding tightly to my shirt.

Despite the circumstances it felt amazing to hold Jamie in my arms.

My son. I have a son.

Not being able to get over that fact.

I have a son.

A beautiful little boy.

Liz obviously has told Jamie that I was his father. A fact that Jamie seemed to be happy about.

Not being able to resist the urge of how happy the fact made me also.

I have a son.

It helped to think about Jamie and not on what was happening with Liz.

"Isn't there some place you need to be?" Asking me the same question she asked me twice before.

"No." Giving my same response.

Having gotten used to Maria's short combative comments ever so often.

Having found out that she has lived with or next too Liz for the last five years. Not entirely sure which one or if it was both yet. Maria wasn't very clear and refused to divulge anymore on the subject or answering any other question that I have asked.

In fact the only thing that Maria has made perfectly clear was the fact that she was Liz's best friend and she will be damned if I even think about hurting Jamie or Liz.

"How can you sit there so calm?"

If it wasn't for Jamie I would be climbing the walls.

Maria does not seem to be the kind of person that takes things in strive.

How many times has she had to do this?

How really sick was Liz?

"Alec would come and tell me if something bad has happened. You should probably just go."

"I'm good here."

Does she really think I would leave without seeing Liz?

"Really? Won't Tess be wondering where you are?" Biting out the words.

Tess? What?

"Yeah remember your wife? The skank you have been playing house with for the last six years while my best friend was struggling to survive and raise HER son."

"Oh..." Groaning to myself. Closing and opening my eyes slowly.

Great. Liz thinks I married Tess. That I'm with Tess now.

Why wouldn't she? She left before I found out what a scheming little liar Tess is.

Left with my son. Four year old son.

Four years that I missed out on.

Running his hands through Jamie's hair.

Not helping but feel a little angry about that fact.

She took my son.

"What? Didn't think I knew about Tess?" Practically spitting out Tess's name.

"Look Maria. I don't know what Liz has told you....."

Leaning forward in her chair. "I'm her best friend. She told me everything." Cutting me off.

Winning Maria over was not going to be that easy.

Signing. Feeling tired. Too tired to try to defend myself and go into any kind of detail about Tess.

"Shouldn't you be running home to her?"

"Maria....."

"Look Max." Cutting me off once more. "I don't know what you are thinking or planning Max but I want to make something very clear right now. We don't need you. Liz does not need you."

"Maria."

"Wait." Standing up. "Let me say this. Liz has gone through hell the last five years. She almost died just to have Jamie. Refusing to have an abortion to save her own life just to keep a part of you with her. Just to end up deliver prematurely to almost lose Jamie too. Liz has sacrifice everything for Jamie and Jamie's happiness. I am not about to stand by and let you hurt that little boy or Liz. If you don't want him or you think Tess is not going to want or treat Jamie bad in the least little bit. You walk out that door now and you don't look back before you hurt Liz and Jamie more than you already have."

What the hell?

Risked her life to have Jamie?

"We don't need you. As I said before. We have survive the last five years without you. We will survive now without you too. Jamie will be fine without you." Stopping and looking at me once more. "Am I clear?"

Survive?

Is Liz dying? Is that why she is here now?

Hurt Liz and Jamie?

Thinks I'm still with Tess.

Standing up. Not even know where to start. What to really think. "I'm not with Tess. We never got married. She never was pregnant."

"What?" Looking at me in shock.

Seeing Alec heading towards them.

Taking two steps towards him.

Alec holding up his hand before I even had a chance to ask.

"She's awake. She wants to see the both of you." Indicating me and Jamie. "I'll take you two her."

Starting to follow Alec.

"Alec?" Maria standing up.

Alec stopping and turning back to Maria. Nodding his head. "We were lucky. She's alright. Tired. I'm going to want her to stay here a few days."

"Thank god." Smiling for the first time. "You know she is going to fight you on that."

Looking from me to Maria. "She doesn't have much of a choice at this point."

Getting the instinct impression that I was missing something.

Something important.

Starting to follow Alec out of the waiting area.

"Max?"

Turning to look at Maria.

Watching her search my face. Looking for something.

"I've been looking for Liz for the last five years. I'm not going to hurt them, Maria." Turning and walking in the direction I knew I would find Liz in with out Alec.

[As I said before, I'm sorry about the part. I don't like it but at last I give up. I think I made youi wait long enough. Once again. Sorry in advance.

Also the heart problem. I don't know if it is real or not. I just kind of through it together. If it is.... I don't own anything. As, I'm making up all cause and effects. If you have ? Let me know.



size=24][/size]CHAPTER 7


MAX'S POV

The nurse said the last door on the right.

Room 112.

Moving further down the hall.

"Max wait up." Turning to see Alec jogging up to me. "I wanted to talk to you a sec before you see Liz."

Nodding my head and waited.

Some how I knew this was too easy.

"Listen Liz has been through a lot."

"I gathered that much."

He's kidding right.

Room 112

Seeing the questioning look on Alec's face.

"Besides the fact that she almost died on me. Maria kind of filled me in on a few things."

"Yeah, I figured she wouldn't be able to stay silence long." Sighing. "Listen Max. I don't know what Maria said to you exactly. She has an attendance to talk out of turn."

"And you are going to tell me what exactly?" Looking at Liz's door.

Just let me see her already.

I just need to see with my own eyes that she is alive.

"As I said before. It's really not my place to tell you anything."

"Ok then." Taking a step towards the door.

"Wait." Feeling his hand on my arm. Stopping me.

Your killing me here!

"Alec, Look I really just need to talk Liz." Shifting Jamie a little.

"Max. I just want to tell you....."

Turning to look at him.

"What?"

"She weak. We really need her to as stay calm as possible. I have given her a sedative to help keep her calm. As I said before I'm going to want to keep her here a few days. That in itself going to cause her stress."

No stress. Right.

"And I'm assuming you are still not going to tell me what is wrong with her?"

"Sorry, not my place man."

Nodding my head. "Ok then."

Let me just see her then.

"Max, just let her tell you everything in her own way. This is every hard on her."

"I'm not here to cause trouble Alec. No pressure I promise."

Not that I didn't want some serious answerers.

"Alright then." Alec opening the door. Stepping back so I could walk in.

Liz sitting up in the bed. Wearing a hospital gown. Trying to straighten out her hair. Noting the IV in her hand, wires coming out the top of her gown and breathing tube in her nose. Looking so small in the bed being surrounded by machines.

Taking my breath away.

Still so beautiful.

Seemly unaware of their arrival.

Finding my voice. "Hey...." Taking a step further in.

Looking up at me. "Hi." Giving me a weak smile.

Vaguely aware of Alec going over to the machine next to the bed.

"Someone was anxious to see you." Glancing at the sleeping child in my arms back to Liz. Stopping at the end of her bed.

"I can see that." Smiling once more.

"He tired out about an hour ago."

"Yeah, the hospital can be a very tiring place for him." Lowing her voice. "I hope he wasn't too much trouble."

My son could never be any trouble.

"Jamie was no trouble at all." Keeping my voice equally low.

Watching her eyes fill up with tears.

Alec clearing his throat.

Not taking my eyes off of Liz.

Watching as Alec leans in whispers something to Liz. Nodding her head before Alec kissing her on the head. Still not taking her eyes off of me.

Feeling a stroke of jealously going though me.

What is this guy to you?

"Well ummm. Did you want me to take Jamie?" Alec looking at me.

"No." Me and Liz answering at the same time.

There was no way I was ready to let him go yet.

Feeling a little relieved that Liz wanted to keep Jamie here also.

"I'll just leave you three alone then." Alec starting to make his way towards the door.

Liz still not taking her eyes off of me.

"Remember what I said. Both of you."

"It's going to be alright, Alec." Liz.

"I won't" Me.

Still not looking away from one another.

"Ok then. I'll just check back in a little while." Shutting the door behind him.

"Sorry, Alec tends to be a little over protective at times."

Nodding my head.

Who was Alec to you? Boyfriend? Lover? Just a doctor? Friend? What was Alec to Jamie?

Not voicing any of my questions out loud.

God, you look so fragile.

The hospital bed looking so big compared to her.

This is going to be hard.

Liz was never one to just give up information. Always having to pry and poke to get an answerer out of her growing up. Especially when it came to her home life. Liz was a wiz at changing the subject or just not answering.

Yes, this is defiantly going to be harder then I thought.

"Um, would you like to sit down? I know how heavy Jamie can get." Wiping at her eyes.

She's kidding right? Jamie weighs what? Not even 40 pounds?

Then again look at her? Liz couldn't possible even weigh 100 pounds herself.

Noting the dark circles under her eyes.

She has to be tired.

Jamie must wear her out.

How long did Maria say she has been sick? 5 years. 5 years and she didn't tell me once.

Couldn't help but feel a little anger and hurt by the fact.

"Max?"

Pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, yeah." Going over and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Here." Liz moving over a little and turning on her side. Watching her wince.

Reaching for her hand. "Are you alright?"

Giving me a small smile. "I am fine. Just a little sore. Thank you. Here." Pulling back the covers. Patting the bed next to her.

Reluctantly lying Jamie down next to Liz.

Feeling the lack of warmth immediately. Having to resist the urge to pick the sleeping child back up.

Watching as the small boy automatically curled up against his mother. Liz stroking his hair lovingly before kissing the top of his head.

Jamie sighing in contentment. Still sucking his thumb.

Both so small they fit perfectly in the bed together.

Liz wincing once more as she moved to cover up Jamie a little more.

"Sure you are alright?" Moving to help her.

"Yeah, just a little sore. It will pass." Tucking a piece of hair behind Jamie's ear. "I'm sorry baby." Kissing him once more on the head. "He always suck his thumbs when he's scared. He always tries to be so brave."

Seeing the concern clearly in her eyes.

"Liz."

Looking once more at me.

"I'm sorry Max. This is not how I thought it would be. I wanted to tell you first. I'm sorry."

Nodding my head. Taking hold of her hand.

"What do you want to know?"

What happened? What's wrong with you? Jamie? Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me? Where you sick before you left? What exactly did you tell Jamie about me? How have you been dealing with everything all this time? And don't let me get started on Alec.

Did she just ask me what I wanted to know?

That's new.

"Everything."

Watching her nod her head.

"I know. I'm sorry. This must be all a little over whelming for you."

"You could say that." Offering a small smile.

"I'm sorry Max. To just show up after all this time and then..... I'm sorry." Her eyes filling with tears once more. "Um, I'm not really sure where to start. So why don't you just ask me questions and I'll answerer them the best I can. Is that alright?"

She's nerves.

Ok....

Wanting to start slow.

"What happened Liz? Why did you pass out at the reservoir?"

"I don't know. I guess it was just a little much after all this time. I was stupid to think..." Shaking her head. "I'm sorry." Looking away.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Pulmonary Congenital heart failure." Still not looking at me.

The heart.

"Big words I know. Just big fancy words saying that my heart doesn't work like it was suppose to." Looking at me again.

"And what are they doing to fix it?"

"They are doing everything can. Maybe if they caught it earlier or if....." Looking down at Jamie.

You didn't have Jamie.

Feeling my heart restrict at the thought.

Maria words ringing in his years. 'She just wanted to keep a part of you with her.'

Does that mean you still love me?

"Anyways, it doesn't matter." Looking at me once more.

"And your going to be ok?"

You did not come back here just to die on me.

Looking away from me. "I get winded and tired a lot but for the most part I'm fine... Everything is going to be alright."

Why don't I believe you?

"Liz?"

Looking at me once more. "What else do you want to know Max?" Changing the subject. Taking off her oxygen.

"Don't you need that?"

"I'm fine."

"Liz?"

"Max. I'm fine." Looking at me once more. "Next?"

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Colorado Springs."

"Why did you pick there?"

Whispering. "You said it was beautiful there."

"Liz."

Shifting a little. "Um. What else?"

"Liz, I need to hear you say it."

I know it. I just need her to say the words. Ending any doubt what's so ever.

Looking down at their hands. Biting her lower lip. Taking a deep breath. "I know."

"He's beautiful Liz."

Nodding her head. Looking up and meeting my eyes. "I know. He looks just like his father. You Max. Your Jamie's father."

"Yeah." Letting out a breathe I didn't know I was holding. "I knew it the first time I saw him."

I have a son.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you first. I was going to find you and tell you tomorrow. I didn't think you would run into each other. I know this must be a shock for you."

"You can say that." Looking at Jamie.

"I'm sorry Max."

"Why didn't you tell me Liz? I wouldn't have left you. I would have been there for you and Jamie."

"Left me? You had already left me Max." Tears streaking down her cheeks. "I didn't want to make things harder on you then they already were."

Feeling my heart restrict.

"Liz you could never do that."

"Really Max? Because you were already freaking out about Tess and your baby. You just got done telling me how your life was ruined. How could I add to it? How could I do that to you?"

"So you just left town?"

"There was nothing left for me here. I couldn't stay at home any longer. I just thought it would be better this way."

"Your father knew you were pregnant?"

"Yes." Looking away from me. "He found the test in the garbage or something. I'm not sure."

That explains why he just slammed the door in my face after telling me he didn't know where the whore has gone. That he doubt she was ever coming back since she took all her crap with her.

I always hated that man. Never liking the way he talked too or just ignored Liz. Not even mention the drinking.

Liz avoid home as much as possible.

I can't blame her for not wanting to raise our child there but to leave town with no word at all?

Father.

"And my father?"

"What?" Looking at me once more. "Your father didn't know about Jamie when he asked me to leave."

What?

"He asked you to leave?"

"OH." Bring her hands up to coverer her mouth. "I mean..." Eyes wide.

"He asked you to leave and you went." Standing up.

I never thought you would turn against me. I can't believe you listen to my father!

"NO it wasn't like that." Shaking her head. "I was deciding to leave when your father showed up."

"So you listen to him and went? What exactly did he say to you?"

"Max, it's really not important."

"What did he say exactly?" Lowering my voice further.

"Max.." Eyes pleading to let it go.

"I need to know Liz. You owe me this much. He is my father after all."

"Your father cares for you very much."

"Liz." Leaving no room for argument.

Looking away from me. "Your father just wants the best for you."

"Liz."

Sighing. "Just that your life didn't include me and I needed to leave."

"And?"

"That's about it." Still not looking at me.

"Liz. You need to tell me."

Closing and opening her eyes. Tears slipping down her cheeks. "Max just let it go. It's not important now. Your working for your Father. I assume that means you have a good relationship now. I didn't come back here to ruin that."

"Liz."

"Max." Weaker. Bring her hand to her chest.

Heart monitor going off.

"Liz."

Watching Liz squeeze her eyes shut.

Feeling my panic start to rise. "Liz. Look at me."

"I'm alright." Still not opening her eyes. "It's all right." Coming out a whispered.

"Your not all right."

"Watching her take a shaky breathe in.

"Liz?"

"What happened?" Alec beside me. "Liz?"

"I'm ..... Fine....."

"You sound it." Alec placing an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose.

"Liz?" Taking hold of her hand.

"You should leave Max." Alec pulling out a vile and syringe.

"No...." Liz shaking her head.

"Mommy?" Jamie starting to stir.

Alarm sounding louder.

"Liz. I need you to take slow deep breathes." Alec filling the syringe. "Try to relax."

Seeing the concern and panic in her eyes.

"Mommy?" Jamie looking at her with concerned.

"Liz." Squeezing her hand. "It's alright baby. Just breathe."

Just breathe.

Watching her take another shaky breath.

"Mommy it's alright now." Jamie sitting up. "Daddy's here."

"Liz I need to give you a sedative." Putting the needle in the IV.

Liz eyes going wider. Shaking her head no. Feeling her squeezing my hand. "Jamie."

"Mommy?"

"It's alright. I'm not going any where."

Watching her eyes slide shut as the alarm stops.

Liz.

Watching her chest start to rise and fall regularly.

"Mommy?"

"She's just sleeping Jamie." Alec adjusting the machine. "Mommy just got a little excited." Glancing at me before focusing on the machine again.

"Daddy?"

Finally focusing on him. "It's alright." Letting go of Liz's hand. Holding out my arms. Jamie immediately going into them. "It's alright." Holding Jamie close.

It's going to be alright. Please. Please let it be.

"Alec?" Watching him listen to Liz's heart.

Nodding his head. "She going to be out for the night. I had to give her a strong sedative." Giving me a look that said he was anything but please with me.

Jamie pulling back a little. "Mommy going to be mad?"

"What? Why would mommy be mad?"

"She's always mad when Uncle Alec puts her to sleep. She said she sleeps to much already."

"I'm sure Alec is only doing what is best for mommy." Looking past Jamie to Alec.

Jamie nodding his head. "Uncle Alec loves mommy."

"He does?" Looking at Alec.

Feeling the firmly stroke of jealously go through me.

Staring at each other a moment.

Resisting the urge to reach across the bed and hit him.

Alec turning his attention to Jamie. "OK little man what do you say we have aunt Maria get you some dinner and take you back to the hotel."

"I want to stay with mommy."

"I know Jamie but you know mommy would want you to eat and sleep in a real bed tonight. I'll stay with mommy."

"Mommy isn't sleeping in a real bed?" Jamie tilting his head. Big smile on his face.

"Jamie you know what I mean. It's better if you go back to the hotel tonight. I'm sure Aunt Maria will let you watch a movie." Alec trying to reason with Jamie.

"What if mommy need me?" Jamie sucking his thumb once more.

'He always sucks his thumb when he's scared.' Liz's voice in my head.

"Hey, I tell you what buddy. I'll stay here with mommy all night."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

There was no way I was leaving you now.

CHAPTER 8

MAX'S POV

Jamie leaving after countless promises that I would be here in the morning. That I wouldn't leave Liz and that I promised that I call him at 8 o'clock to tell him good night. All with a tight hug. Kiss on the cheek and a hesitant whispered I love you in my ear that brought tears to my eyes. Before he scurried out the door with Maria.

Who by which manage not to glare at me this time. Just giving me a look I could only describe as curiosity.

Is it possible to love someone so much in just a short few hours?

Is it possible for Jamie just excepted and wants me without even knowing me?

Is it possible to feel this good?

Is it possible to feel so terrified and hopeful too?

"You don't have to stay here Max. I had to give Liz a really strong sedative. She is going to be out all night." Alec tone saying he was still far from happy about me and having to sedate Liz.

"I'm staying." Leaving no room for argument.

He is kidding right?

Wild horses couldn't drag me away.

Smiling.

Liz always loved that song.

Alec smirking and shaking his head.

Now what?

"What?"

"Liz says you can be stubborn."

Me stubborn?

"Only when I have to be." Crossing my arms.

"What did you say that upset her so bad?" Alec checking the monitor once more.

"We were talking about my father if you most know."

What business was it of yours?

"You can't be mad at Liz, Max." Glancing up at me. "She never cashed the check."

"Check?"

No way. He didn't.

Please tell me my father didn't pay her to leave.

Look on Alec's face saying that he was every bit serious.

"He paid her to leave?"

How stupid could I be?

"She didn't tell you?" Alec looking away. "Damn." Shaking his head.

"How much?"

I can't believe this.

How could my own father do this to me?

"Max."

"HOW MUCH?!" Raising my voice.

"I said more than I already should."

"Don't give me that crap Alec. I'm tired of hearing about what you can and can't say. It's my life we are talking about here. So tell me. How much am I worth?"

The cocky blond is really starting to piss me off.

"Maybe that is a question you should ask you father?"

I plan on it. That and a couple more things.

Like how long did you know where Liz and Jamie were? How could you have not told me about Jamie? What else did you keep from me?

I can't believe I trusted him.

He knew all this time and didn't say a word.

Why am I really surprise? Father never wanted me with Liz.

"Max, I know this is hard on you." Pulling me from my thoughts once more.

"Alec you don't know the first thing about me."

"Really, because Liz painted a pretty good picture of you." Crossing his arms.

"You really think Liz telling you a few things about me makes you know me?"

Yes, he is defiantly starting to piss me off.

"I think I have a pretty good idea. What's even better is that I know Liz."

Feeling a tug of jealousy once more.

"Oh, so that just gives you all the answerers then." Stepping up to him.

Who the hell does he think he is?

"Look Max. I don't want to fight with you. If it was up to me I would have you escorted out of here and never let you back in. But as we have it. Your the reason we are here in the first place. Plus Jamie and Liz obviously wants you here."

Nodding my head.

Yes, they do.

Couldn't help but smile at the fact.

That has to mean something doesn't it?

"Look, I just want what is best for Liz. You obviously still care about her."

Staring out him.

What business were my feelings about Liz to him?

What are you to Liz?

Sighing. "I think we can both agree we don't want Liz to get hurt."

I never wanted to hurt Liz.

Nodding my head this time.

"Good. So your staying?"

"Without a doubt."

"Fine. I'm moving Liz in a minute to a private room. I'll make sure it has a sofa bed in it for you."

"Thank you."

Nodding his head. "No problem. Besides, I'll be in and out all night." Staring at me a moment before turning to leave.

"Alec, how bad is she? She told me she has a heart condition."

Stopping his movement. Turning back towards me. "It's not good Max. We are running out of options. The more stress Liz has the worsted things are going to get. I'm not going to lie to you. Regardless of the fact that you are Jamie's father. I think coming here was the worst thing Liz could ever have done. Especially right now."

"So what are we talking about here? A heart transplant?"

That's not so bad. They do them every day. People live long happy lives with a new heart.

We can survive this.

"Liz is on the donors list but that doesn't offer much hope."

Much hope?

"I don't understand. Liz is young. She should be ideal."

Shouldn't she?

"That is true. The problem is Liz is AB negative. Only 1 percent of the worlds population has it. Making the chances of a transplant even harder. Not to mention the disease, stress and strain of her heart is starting to effect her lungs."

"So now what?"

Please tell me this is not happening.

"We wait. Pray. Be here for her. Keeping her as calm and happy as possible. Once again I can't emphasize no stress enough."

No stress. Got it.

Nodding my head. "That's all?"

That doesn't sound like much.

Where exactly do I fit into this equation?

"That's all we can do at the moment." Alec walking once more towards the door. Stopping right before he opened it. "Max, there is one more thing I need your help with though.

"Anything."

"Liz's father."

Her father? What could he possibly want with him?

"I want you to help me keep him the hell away from Liz and Jamie."

"Her father?"

I mean, I'm not his biggest fan but he was still her father.

Then again, Liz is not suppose to have stress. It's not like they had the greatest relationship.

"Liz had a black eye when she showed up in Colorado."

Black eye?

What?

How?

"What?"

"I just found out on the way here that he hit her. I don't want him anywhere near Liz or Jamie for that matter."

He hit her?

That son of a bitch.

How could he hit Liz?

"Because she was pregnant?"

"I got the idea it was more than that."

That son of a bitch.

How could anyone?

"I'll take care of it." Through clench teeth. "He won't come any where near her or Jamie."

How could anyone hit Liz?

How could I not know about it?

That son of a bitch.

Looking at Liz.

Why do I feel like I didn't really know you at all Liz Parker?

How could you keep something like that from me?

"I'm assuming you didn't know."

Shaking my head.

"No. I didn't think so. You don't exactly cross me as the type to let it go on."

"No." Looking at Alec once more. "There seems to have been a lot that I didn't know."

Jamie.

Her father.

My own father.

What else don't I know?

Why do I feel like I have spent my life in the dark?

Alec staring at me a moment. "Knowing Liz and the way she talked about you." Clearing his throat.

Seeing Alec was clearly uncomfortable with what he was about to say.

"She loved you very much. You were the world to her. I know Liz was doing what she thought was best for you. In the last five years that I have known Liz. She has always put everyone else in her life first. Doing everything possible to make sure everyone that she loves is safe and happy. She has the biggest heart of anyone that I know."

I know.

Looking at Liz sleeping peacefully.

I won't let anyone hurt you Liz. Some how. Some way. You are going to get better. We are going to work this out.

I am going to be here to protect you.

"Max."

"Yeah." Not bothering to look up.

How could I not know he was hitting you?

"Your father is an ass."

"Tell me about." Not bothering to look up.

Tell me about it.....

50 minutes later up on the second floor. Private room with a sofa bed for me. Liz still not stirring at all.

Picking up the phone and dialing a familiar number.

Answering on the first ring.

"Michael Guerin speaking."

"It's me."

"Max. Where the hell are you? Isabel is freaking. Your mother is worried. Your father has called. We have been trying to reach you all day."

"Sorry. I left my cell in the car."

In all the excitements I forgot to grab it.

Can you even use a cell phone in the hospital now a days?

"Did you talk to Liz?"

"A little."

"The kid?"

"He's all mine."

"Are you alright."

"Yeah. Yeah I am."

I have a beautiful son.

"Max where are you?"

"At the hospital"

"What? I thought you said you were alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm here with Liz."

"Oh.... Is she alright?"

"No."

But she is going to be. I hope.

"Max..."

Cutting him off. "Listen Michael I need you to do me a favor."

"What ever you need man."

"I need you to go to my house a pick me up a change of clothes. I'm staying here tonight."

"Change of clothes."

"Yeah, I also need you to find out everything you can on a heart condition called Congenital Pulmonary Heart disease."

"Heart.... Disease....."

Knowing Michael was writing it all down.

"I want to know everything. Including the best treatment, facilities and doctors. Everything you can."

"Got it."

"Thanks Michael."

"So I take it Liz....."

Running my hand over my face. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry man."

"Yeah. Just find out what you can. Please."

"No problem. Give me about hour."

"I'm in room 235 on the second floor." Looking out the window at the setting sun.

"235. Got it. Hungry? I can bring you both some real food."

Feeling anything but.

"No. I'm good and Liz should be out for the night."

"Max you haven't ate anything today have you?"

"No."

"I'll grab you something."

"Listen Michael there is something else I want you to do."

"You got it."

"I want you to find out where Liz's father is."

"Her Father?" Hearing the uncertainty in his voice.

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Michael?"

"I'm here. You want me to let him know Liz is in the hospital?" Voice lower than before.

"No. I don't want him anywhere near here and want to make sure he stays clear."

"Good. Yeah, I can do that." Michael voice sounding normal once more.

He knows.

"You knew didn't you."

I can not believe this.

"Knew what?"

"Don't play stupid with me Guerin. You knew he hit her."

"I'm sorry man. I suspected as much. Liz never came right out and said it. I'm surprise she told you."

"She didn't. Alec did. I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"I never knew for sure. I just suspected is all. The cloths Liz wore and the bruise she would get ever so often. I had a feeling. Plus Parker was just too much like Hank if you know what I mean."

Hank was a mean drunk that didn't mind taking a swing at Michael every now and again. At least until Michael got emancipated at the age of 16. Ever since then michael has had his own place, job, put himself through school and basically took care of himself. Despite everything. Michael has done quite well for his self.

How could I have not thought that. Parker was just like Hank in almost every way. A mean drunk.

I just never thought he would hit Liz. How could anyone ever hit her?

Liz was so sweet. So small. You just wanted to love and care for her. Protect her.

How could I have not known?

All those times she wear long sleeves and jeans claiming she was cold.

I just thought she didn't have enough meat on her bones to keep her warm. Liz was so small.

All the times she avoid home. Never wanting me to pick her up or take her home. All the time she spent at the reservoir.

I just always thought that she was embarrassed to live in the trailer park.

All the cuts and bruises I did see every once in a while.

Claiming to fall or bump into something. Always joking about how clumsy she was.

How could she hide this from me.

How could I not know....

How stupid could I be?

"Max. I'm sorry Man." Michael voice catching my attention once more. "I just gave her a place to crash when she need. Parker was an ass. I never liked the way he talked and treated Liz. The way he would look at her sometimes. Creep me out. I didn't want it to escalate into something worst. It was obvious Liz never wanted you to know. Anyone to know. Look at me the only reason you knew was because you walked in on it."

Escalate into something worst...

What?

He doesn't mean.

Looking at Liz sleeping helplessly.

No.

"You think he. That he tried to....."

Not being able to say the words.

Please don't say it....

"No. No Max. I don't think he ever touch her like that. I'm was just saying that Liz put up with and hid a lot. She loved you a lot."

"Yeah, me too."

"I know. Listen man, I'll pick up your clothes and find out what I can and get back to you. Give me an hour."

"You got it."

"Max."

"Yeah?"

"Everything is going to be alright."

"Yeah."

I hope your right.

I pray that you are.

CHAPTER 9

LIZ'S POV

Last of the drug losing it's hold on me. Letting me once more come to surface.

Soft steady beep of a heart monitor.

The strong smell of disinfected.

Rough sheets against my skin.

Hospital.

Blinking a few times to shake away the last of the drugs. Taking my eyes a moment to adjust to the dimly lit hospital room.

God, I hate hospitals.

Papers shuffling.

Looking over to find Max sitting on a couch looking through some papers.

Max.

Watching him frown at the papers before him.

He's here.

He had changed his cloths from a blue button up and slacks to a black t-shirt and jeans. His feet was bare except for socks.

Relaxed.

My Max.

He looked the same but older. His hair was shorter. His shoulders seemed broader. Eyes still intense as ever. Always having a way to draw me in. Time has treated him well.

Is it possible that he looks even more handsome now?

There was something different about him now though. Lost was the carefree nature about him. He was no longer boy but a man. With adult responsibilities and worries. How much has life and time changed him?

Just look what it has done to me.

How quickly we both had to grow up.

Having a kids have a way of doing that to you.

Noting the clock behind him. 4:23.

Night.

Please let me have only lost a couple of hours. Not a whole day. Please.

Why didn't I just stay calm?

Who was I kidding?

This whole situation is nothing but stressful.

Stress is something I can't afford right now.

Maybe this was all a mistake....

Max seems to be taking it all well though.

Considering the circumstances that is.

Isn't it a good sign that he is here?

Yes.

No.

He should be home with his family.

I didn't come here to cause him trouble with Tess and being here at 4 in the morning will defiantly cause tension between the two.

Tess is not going to like that he is here so late. No wife would. Especially Tess.

The girl never liked me.

It didn't help that she most likely picked up on my feelings for Max, long before we ever thought of getting together.

Not that I ever over stepped my bounds when he was with someone else.

No matter how much it hurt or how much I loved him. How much I wanted to be the one that he looked at and held in his arms.

That he loved.

He gave me a hope and desire to keep on living even in the darkest hours.

Max was my best friend.

My love.

My life.

Max was my everything.

Watching him frown once more.

Eyes that still held so much emotion. So easy for me to read. Pain. Fear. Anger. Seeing it all the last time we talked.

"It would be easier to read if you turned on a decent light."

Looking up at me with surprise. "Hey."

Putting down the papers and coming to sit next to me.

"Hey." Giving him a small smile back.

"How do you feel?" Taking my hand into his.

"I'm alright."

Seeing the disbelief on his face.

"I really am."

"Liz......"

For this to work I can't cause any ripples between you and Tess.

Looking away from him. "You shouldn't be here Max."

God, I want you to stay so bad.

"What?" Shock in his voice.

This is not the time for me to start being selfish.

"You should be home with your family."

How right it looked to see Jamie in his arms.

It's all I ever wanted.

"Liz..."

Not at the expense of his own family.

Cutting him off. "I didn't come here to cause you trouble Max. At least not anymore then telling you about Jamie. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before and I'm sorry that I just left. But I really thought what I was doing what was the best for you."

"Liz..."

Cutting him off once more. "I just didn't want to hurt you or stress you out anymore then you already were. I didn't want to be the cause of that. I'm sorry to just show up here after all this time."

"Liz...."

Holding up my hand.

I just need to say this.

Feeling the tears start to sting. "I don't want to mess with you and your family. To cause trouble with you and your father. Especially with Tess. I know things won't be easy and I'm sorry for that. I just really wanted you to get to know Jamie. That is if you want to. For maybe he can a have a small place in your life too. He's a wonderful kid Max. He really is amazing. He so kind and smart. He is so smart. I know this is a lot to take. Showing up after all this time."

Taking a breath.

"Liz." Squeezing my hand. "Relax please."

Concern and sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Feeling the tears slip down my cheeks.

"Oh baby." Pulling me into his arms. "It's alright. Everything is going to be alright. Just relax."

Nodding my head.

I pray so.

It felt so good to be in his arms again.

Almost like I never left.

How easy it would be to stay here?

"Do you realize I have been searching for you ever since I found out you were gone? There was not a day that went by that I didn't think of you."

"What?" Pulling back from him so I could see his face.

"I even thought my father hired a private detective to find you. I guess he knew all about you all this time." Looking away from me.

His father?

There was no way he would have tried to find me.

He told Max he was looking for me.

Oh Max...

"Max, your father loves you very much." Wiping my cheeks.

"Liz, I don't want to talk about my Father. I'm sorry that I upset you so bad before."

"No, I'm sorry. Your Father just wants the best for you."

I never was that...

"Liz please don't ever apologize for my father. I've always known what kind of man that my father was. How controlling. Especially when it came to my life. My career. I just never thought he would go as far as he did." Giving a cynical laugh. "No, that's not true. I know how ruthless he could be." Touching my face. "More than once he tried to control my life. Make me see things his way. All in the name of what was best for me. I just never thought he would go so far to keep us apart. Knowing how bad I wanted to be with you."

"He just wants what's best for you."

Voice soften. "I always thought you were." Watching his eyes trail to my lips.

Eyes filled with desire.

Subconsciously licking mine.

Whispers. "Liz." Leaning towards me.

Kiss me.

No.

Pulling back. "Max, you should go home." Looking away from him.

"I'm exactly where I need to be." Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I'm sure Tess is wondering where you are."

Hurt going through me of the thought of him with her.

Sighing. "Liz, there is something that I need to tell you. I'm not with Tess. I never married her."

Facing Max once more. "What?"

Did he just say that he's not with Tess?

"I'm not with her. I haven't been with her for the last five years."

"What? That's not possible." Shaking my head. "No."

No.

"No, it's true. I broke off the engagement."

No, I don't believe it.

"No, your father told me just last year that you both where vacationing in Europe. Together."

Your father.

Closing my eyes.

God I am so stupid.

"What? You talked to my father?"

Opening my eyes to see the anger flash once more through his eyes.

"Max." Taking his hand.

"He called you?"

"No." Shaking my head. "I called for you. Your father answered the phone. He said..."

Cutting me off. "He said I was happily vacationing in Europe with Tess." Seeing the hurt clearly in his eyes. Shaking his head sadly.

What am I doing?

Looking away from him. "I'm sorry."

I cause this.

Max was better off not knowing.

He is working for his father for goodness sake. They had to be getting along on some level. Max wouldn't have anything to do with him if they weren't.

I'm ruining thst.

"No. Don't be." Squeezing our linked hands. "Pease do not apologize for my father. I'm the one that needs to apologize to you. I'm sorry Liz."

Looking at him once more. "Max."

"No, Liz. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so stupid. For believe......"

Cutting him off. "Max, he is your father. He just wanted what is best for you."

Shaking his head no. "He's not anymore."

"I didn't want this.... I didn't come here to....."

This is not what I intended to do.

Tears slipping down my cheeks.

Feeling my chest tighten.

Monitor beat in warning.

"Shhhhhh...." Squeezing my hand once more. "Relax. It's alright. Relax please. I don't want you getting all upset about him. Alright." Touching my cheek with his other hand once more. "No more talking about my father." Using his thumb to wipe away a tear. "No more. Just rest now. Please."

Taking a shaky breath.

"But."

"No. You need to just relax. Stay calm. If you don't want to sleep we can just talk about something else."

Nodding my head. Taking a couple more slow breaths.

He's right.

"Just relax. Please." Fear and concerned over powering his eyes.

Closing my eyes. Taking a couple slow easy breaths.

Feeling the tightening start to lose it's hold.

Monitor once more beating normal.

"That's better."

Opening my eyes to find Max smiling at me reassuring.

His child.

"Do you share custody with Tess?"

"Custody? What no. No Liz. Tess lied. She was never pregnant."

"She wasn't?"

No... Shaking my head no.

I don't understand that.

"How? Why would she say. How could she do that to you?"

This is unbelievable.

"She knew it was the only way that I would leave you. How I could have ever left you." Squeezing my hand.

"Max. I am so sorry."

Laughing. "Would you quit apologizing for everyone? I told you. You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing.."

If only that was true.....

"I left you."

"I left you first if you recall."

I know all too well.

Nodding my head. "But still. I should have told you about Jamie."

Nodding his head. Sadly. "Yeah, you probably should have. Then again. I was a mess back then and I just left you after telling you that I was marrying someone else. I believe I told you that I thought my life was ruined because I got someone pregnant. I don't think I left you with much of a choice. I should have know. I should have known a lot of things. For that. All of that, I'm sorry..."

"Max..."

"Don't Liz. If I were you I would have left too."

"Max..."

Leaning forward and kissing my forehead before resting his head against mine. Love so clearly in his eyes. "Tell me about Jamie."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything, of course."