Roswell Fanatics

Author: terri25

Title: The Parker Curse

Category: M/L, AU w/o aliens

Rating: Teen for now

Disclaimer: The characters of Roswell are not mine. The concept is my own idea.

Summary: Liz's family has a problem finding good men. Will she find a keeper? Will she let her fear of making a mistake keep her from finding true love?

Chapter One:

Liz POV

You know, the women in my family have never been lucky when it comes to love-- or even just men really. My great-great-grandmother did get to marry the love of her life; unfortunately, the marriage lasted a grand total of three months. He was robbed and murdered on his way back from town. Their marriage did not last long enough to build a lifetime of memories, but it was long enough for her to become pregnant with my great-grandmother.

In an age when single-parenthood was not all the rage, that meant that she had to remarry and remarry relatively quickly. For some women that might have worked out, unfortunately for her, she chose a wastrel who, unbeknownst to her, had a "special" fondness for little children. He met with a tragic "accident" when my great-grandmother was six years-old. After that, my great-great-grandmother refused to remarry (not that I blame her) and brought her daughter up on her own.

She did the best she could, I suppose, but my great-grandmother grew to become a bit of a romantic-- ridiculously so, think Kitty in Pride and Prejudice. This, I guess, propensity towards romance, adventure and excitement landed her married at the age of fourteen to a young man of questionable background who ran through her fortune whoring and gambling. Unlike her mother, however, she did not have, what in this case I would have called, the good fortune of becoming a widow. He lived to be ninety-two years old, outliving my great-grandmother by three years.

They had two children: my grandmother and her older brother. He went off to war-- World War II-- and never came back. The grief in the house became suffocating, so much so that at sixteen my grandmother jumped at the chance to escape and got married. He was fine at first; he was well-mannered, charming and cheerful. As the years got on, they had two girls, but he wanted a son. They tried and tried but my grandmother could no longer get pregnant. We learned years later that her last pregnancy-- my mother--had been difficult and it damaged her inside in such a way that she could no longer conceive.

My grandfather became angry and bitter-- and abusive. When I asked my mom what she remembered the most from living at home, she said fear. Her father would get drunk and come home mean and angry and take it out on whoever was there. My grandmother would intervene if it was one of the girls, so she would end up being beaten at least four times a week. My grandfather eventually drove himself into a tree. No one mourned him.

I never met my aunt Josie, mom's older sister. She was raped her first year of college by her RA. She brought charges against him, but he was found not guilty. She was so traumatized by the experience and later so drowned by guilt and shame when he was not convicted that she commited suicide. She was eighteen years-old.

My mom, on the other hand, married her high school sweetheart shortly after graduation. Their marriage lasted six months. She met my father three years later while working as a secretary in a law firm. They had a whirlwind romance and were married four months later. Unfortunately, it seems whirlwind romances were his style. He had numerous affairs, none of which he felt compelled to even try to hide from his wife. He humiliated her. He hurt her, and he liked it. They split up when I was seven years old. He traded her in for a "newer model" as he put it. I have not seen him since I was ten years old.

I took on my mom's last name when I was thirteen. That is when I decided that, given my family's history, men are more trouble than they are worth. I decided that I would never date, I would never marry. Heck, I'd become a lesbian if I was the least bit attracted to women. When I was in middle school, my therapist said I would grow out of that. "Just wait until you get to high school and you find some interesting young man," she said. When I was in high school, she said, "just wait until you get to college, there's a lot of fish in the sea." Now I am in college, my sophomore year, and I stand by my decision.

Four generations of women in my family have already suffered. I decided to do what none of them did, learn from their experiences. I will be happy and the only way women in my family seem to get any happiness is when there are no men around. I will avoid the curse-- the Parker curse.

TBC...

Chapter Two:

Liz POV

Everyday I get up, take a shower, go to class, go to work, come home. I have a routine; nothing ever changes. I feel safe in my routine, protected from the world and its miseries. Well, today something changed: I got a new co-worker.

I chose to work at Lila's Cafe because all their employees are women-- as are 90% of their clientele. It's a great place with a nice, comfortable, Bohemian look. Everyone there is always laid back and I hardly even feel like I'm at work while on shift.

Lila Reynolds owns the place. She is a wonderful person, quirky, understanding. She must be pushing ninety and is yet still very active. She says it's all those great-grandchildren if hers; they keep her young.

Today she comes in and introduces one of those great-grandchildren: Max Evans. Apparently, he is finishing up his degree in business, but he has never had a job. His paternal grandfather started Evans Investments and his father is the current CEO, but they want him to get some work experience before they start him in the company. He came to Nana Reynolds, she gave him a job, and there goes my all-women workforce.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I can handle this. I mean, I go to class with men all the time-- molecular biology is not exactly a popular field for women. I don't know, there is just something about Max Evans that makes me... uncomfortable. It might be that he shook up my routine. It might be that he invaded my haven. Or it might be that he is tempting.

I have never been tempted, and yet, the moment I saw him it was as if something in me recognized him. It was deep, it was primitive, it was... terrifying. I bolted. I ran all the way home. When I got there, I called Lila and told her I had suddenly felt very sick.

She told me to get better. I can't help thinking that I'll never be better. I'm no good at confronting problems. I'm good at avoiding or sneaking past them. I will start looking for a new job in the morning. For now, I just lay on my bed, and I don't know why, but I cry.

Max POV

I went over to talk to Nana Reynolds today. Dad has been wanting me to get a job for, well, years now. He thinks it will help me become more responsible. I think I already am responsible. I didn't see how neglecting my studies to get a low-paying, entry-level job would make me more so. Last week he told me that if I did not get a job before graduation, he would not give me a job in the company.

Nana Reynolds has a nice cafe. I hadn't been there since I was twelve years old and mom brought us over to see her grandmother's business. "See, business runs in your family," she had told me.

After giving me the job, Nana began introducing me to the staff, and, for one paralyzing second, I locked eyes with a beautiful petite brunette. I did not care that I had a girlfriend, something deep inside screamed 'MINE.' It was as if she could hear my thoughts because she got a panicked look on her face and ran out.

But it wasn't fast enough because the one thing I am is determined, and I am determined to have her.

You see, the men in my family are always blessed-- or cursed as the case may be-- to meet their soulmates. What they do once they meet them determines the course their life will take. They can embrace it-- as my grandfather and his father-- and be blissfully happy, or they can fight it-- as my father-- marry someone else and be miserable. I will not fight it.

'And I will not let it escape me,' I thought as she ran out the door.

Chapter Three:

Liz POV:

When I woke up the next morning, I felt a lot better—though a little ashamed of how cowardly I had been the day before. One would think that I had never been around men before.

After a refreshing night’s rest, I see things a lot more clearly. I can’t let this Max Evans person beat me.

I am planning on going into molecular biology—a field that if any of my classes are any indication—is dominated by men. I can’t let something as small as a minor attraction to someone—who twenty bucks says will prove to be nothing more than spoiled rich kid—have me running.

I am better than this. I am stronger than this. This will be good for me; it will show me that I can deal with this. I mean, how can I say that I stand by my beliefs if I have never been tested?

Well I say I am ready and I will win.

I walked into Lila’s Café all pumped up for my shift. I see him working the counter. No butterflies, no weak sensation, no slow motion, no violins in the background; I can feel my confidence boosting up.

“I am ready, I will win; I am ready, I will win; I am ready…,” I chant to myself.

And then he smiled. His whole face lit up almost as if it was glowing from the inside and his eyes twinkled with amusement.

In that moment, I fell in love, and nothing could have scared me more.

Max POV:

I broke up with Tess last night. I did not think that it was fair of me to keep stringing her along—not when I know that we are not going to have the fairytale ending she is hoping for.

Our parents—Tess’s and mine—have had our wedding planned for ages. When we were young, they were always pushing us together hoping to spark something.

I went along with it because it seemed harmless at the time and Tess really is a nice girl. She was an understanding girlfriend, and she always gave me plenty of space.

Somewhere along the line, though, my father seemed to have mistaken my cooperation with a willingness to go along with his plans.

He started to plan my marriage to Tess, which really would end up being more of a merger than anything else. We would make one big, happy investment conglomerate.

I was okay with it. I might even have gone through with it if I hadn’t met her.

My grandma Claudia has spoken to me enough times about soulmates that I can recognize it when I see it.

I was not sure if I would ever meet mine, and, if I hadn’t, I would have been willing to commit myself to a safe, loveless marriage.

But I will not do so now.

I will not be as unhappy as my parents have been. I will not do that to myself or Tess.

I see her walk into the café. I still don’t know her name, but I will find out today.

A customer walked up the counter. We joked around for a bit and he bought a pastry. When I looked back, she was gone. But in this case, out of sight was definitely not out of mind.

Tbc…

Chapter Four:

Liz POV:

I change into my uniform in the back and—reluctantly—go out front.

I am still very shaken by my epiphany. I am in love. I am in love. I am in love. And not just in love, I am in love with a guy, a guy who I don’t know. Given my family’s track record, this can only end in misery.

I grab a couple of menus and make my way to the front. There a couple of costumers waiting to be seated. They are regulars; I guide them over to the corner and bring them their herbal tea.

What to do? What to do?

You know what the bad thing about working the afternoon shift is? It is slow. I mean, it is really slow, which means you have too much time to think.

And I can’t help but think about him. I know he is running the counter. I feel awkward because I can’t even look in his direction. I can just picture him there, smiling, looking absolutely gorgeous.

I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts. Do you ever notice how the more you try not to think about a topic, the more it sticks to your mind? Kind of like the more you try to avoid looking at a particular spot, the more obvious it is that you are aware of it.

I think I am going crazy. Maybe I already am crazy.

Another customer comes through the door. I don’t recognize her. She does not look like the type to frequent 70s themed cafes.

“Hi, welcome to Lila’s Café. Can I show you to a table?” I ask with what I hope is a cheerful smile on my face.

“No thanks, I am here to see my boyfriend,” she responds looking around.

“Well, if you want to wait—”Her eyes fix on a spot—the very spot I have been trying to avoid all afternoon.

“Never mind, I see him,” she says.

I watch as she makes her way to the counter.

Max POV:

I keep trying to make eye contact, but she won’t even look at me. I begin to think that she is deliberately avoiding me.

I watch her as she attends to the few customers in the café. She moves with a natural grace. She has an easy smile. She has the most beautiful mahogany-colored eyes—though they have yet to be aimed in my direction.

She seems preoccupied. When she is not seeing to her customers, she has a slight flown and her eyes cloud as if weighed down by heavy matters.

I wonder what is bothering her.

I wonder if there is anything I can do to help.

The bell chimes, and she prepares herself to greet the new customer. She smiles cheerfully. I look at the newcomer and freeze.

Tess.

What is she doing here?

She spots me, and starts to make her way over.

“Hi Max,” she says perkily.

“Tess,” I say confused about her presence, “what are you doing here?”

“What is wrong with a girl coming to see her boyfriend at work?” she smiles flirtatiously. “Maybe you can take a break?”

“I don’t want to hurt you, but we broke up, Tess. Remember?”

“I figured that you were just tense, baby. I just know that with a little time, you will come to your senses. And don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you.”

“Tess, we are not going to be getting back together.”

A hurt look flashes across her face. “But we have been together for years, Max. I have made plans. Our parents have made plans. You can’t mean to just forget all that we have been to each other. You can’t mean that you’ll neglect your responsibilities to your family.”

“I’m sorry, Tess,” I say, honestly meaning it. “You deserve to be happy and we would not have been. Maybe before…” I stop myself before I mention her; somehow I know that is not a good idea.

She blinks back some tears and looks around. “This is not the time or the place to discuss this. We’ll talk later,” she says. “Bye, Max.”

She walks about halfway to the door and she looks back. She smiles tremulously and blows me a kiss.

And I know that things are not going to be as easy as I had thought this morning.

Tbc…

Chapter Five:

Liz POV:

He has a girlfriend.

Funny how that works, huh? Here I have been worrying that I will compromise my decisions because of this insane attraction—okay, love—I have for him, and he has a girlfriend.

He does not seem happy to see her, though. Maybe she came to give him some bad news.

They talk for a few minutes while I refill the salt shakers pretending I am not looking at them. She blows him a kiss and leaves. He looks worried—I guess it really was bad news.

He looks up and straight at me. My eyes widen in surprise as I feel the pull.

I start to walk up to the counter.

I extend my hand and say, “Liz Parker. I guess we will be working together.”

“Max Evans.”

“I know,” I say before I can stop myself, “I mean, uh, you are, uh, Lila’s great-grandson, one of them at least.”

Great I completely lost my ability to speak. What happened to me? I used to be eloquent.

He smiles, and I can almost literally feel my brain going to mush. Thankfully, the bell chimes at that moment and I still have the presence of mind to note that some customers came in.

“I have to get back to work,” I say and almost run to the front.

I survived my first encounter with him almost intact. I knew I could do this.

Maybe this will be easier than I thought it would this morning.

Max POV:

I smile as I close the door to my apartment coming in from my first day at work. My first day at work, imagine that.

It feels good. Maybe dad had a point when he said something about work being satisfying and teaching responsibility.

Or maybe not. Maybe I am just happy because I got to see her: Liz.

She was so beautiful and so grateful, and maybe a little shy. Of course, she might think the same thing about me. After all, all I managed to do is introduce myself.

It was… interesting. When she was speaking, she just seemed to go into slow motion. I could not stop myself from watching the movement of her lips and wishing that they were moving—beneath mine.

At least I managed to pull myself out of it enough to say my name.

I can’t wait to have a more lengthy conversation with her… and ask her out and marry her.

If I propose, say, a month after we start dating is that too soon? How do you measure?

Grandpa always said that I would know when the right one came along, but does that mean that she will too? What if she is not as… open to the idea of a serious relationship at this point of her life?

I ponder this thought for a while. Maybe I will visit Grandpa Jim in the morning, spend the weekend with him. He will be able to give me some guidance.

My answering machine is flashing so I play my messages; there were seventeen of them, all of them from Tess.

Maybe Grandpa can give me some guidance on what to do about her too.

Tbc…

Thanks for all of the wonderful feedback.

Chapter Six:

Max POV:

I had an awful nightmare last night. Liz told me we could not be together and I ended up married to Tess. I tried to fight it, but it was as if I had no willpower and everyone kept on saying that it was my destiny.

It was disturbing.

So when I woke up, I decided that I will definitely make the trip up to Grandpa Jim’s, and here I am.

I ring the doorbell. Edna answers. Edna is grandpa’s live-in nurse. His health has not been so good since grandma passed on last year. He says it is because they were bound at the soul, and his wants to follow hers.

She leads me into the den where I spot grandpa reading something in the corner.

“Hi, grandpa.”

“Max! How are you?” He says tucking the notebook he’d been reading in the corner of his chair.

“I’m okay. What’s that?” I ask pointing at the notebook.

“This?” He picks up the notebook. I nod. “This is one of your grandmother’s journals. This one is from when we had just met. I like to read them; they make me feel closer to her.”

I don’t know what to say. He seems to sense my unease. “But I’m being maudlin. So, what brings you out to my neck of the woods?”

“Actually, grandpa, I need advice.”

“On dealing with your father. Well, I told you: don’t let him manipulate you, stand your—”

“No, it is not about dad. Grandpa, I found her.”

“Her who? Oh, her. Congratulations! I knew you were bound to eventually. We all were. So, what’s the problem? She feels she is not ready for commitment? Because you know you can work around that. Heck, your grandmother felt the same—”

“No! No, uh, see I, uh. We are not… dating.”

“Oh, so you are on the outs. What’d you do? Well, you know, it doesn’t matter; whatever it is apologize profusely. Get her some flowers, candy. I heard there is a really good mariachi band over by the university, maybe you could serenade—”

“No, we are not fighting. We are just not dating. I just met her, and I don’t know how to approach her. I mean, grandpa, what do you say to the woman who you hope will one day be your wife?”

“Well you don’t say that.” He tells me.

“Say what?” I ask frustrated and confused.

“Say that you hope she will one day be your wife. See, women say that they want a man that can commit, but if he commits too quickly, they think that there is something wrong with him or that he is being insincere.”

“Oh,” I’m even more confused now.

“But you do have to initiate the relationship like yesterday. See, our women don’t always feel the same pull. You do not want to lose her to another guy. That’s what happened to your father.” He tells me solemnly.

I knew, of course, that my dad had not married his soulmate. My parents can barely tolerate each other, but I have never heard what happened between him and his soulmate. “What happened to my father?”

“Her name was Rosie. She was the gardener’s daughter. He was in love with her, and we all think that she was attracted him. She might have loved him if she had let herself, but she did not trust herself or him.”

“You see,” he continues, “Her older sister loved a boy from a wealthy family, but he was just using her. She would not stand it and she killed herself. Rosie was just a little girl then, but she swore the same would not happen to her. Your father never stood a chance.”

“What happened to Rosie?”

“Your father went off to college. He figured that if he gave her some time, she might reconsider. When he came back, she was married to someone else. He was extremely jealous and abusive. She died.”

“That’s why your father thinks of it as a curse,” he tells me, “and that’s why your parents could never be happy because he does not have half of his soul. This is why you must understand that when it comes to your soulmate, failure is not an option. You cannot let it be an option.”

He starts to get tired. I call Edna in and ask her to put him to bed. I tell her I will be staying the rest of the weekend.

I am still shocked by all grandpa told me today, but he is right.

Failure is not an option. I will not let it be one.

Tbc…

Chapter Seven:

Liz POV:

It’s Monday. I haven’t seen Max Evans in three days, but that doesn’t mean I have not thought of him. I am always thinking of him; it’s like I can’t stop.

I am so weak.

I remember thinking how stupid all the women in my family were in getting involved with all these idiots that did not deserve them.

I remember thinking why could they just not be strong enough to be okay on their own. I was doing it.

I was so naïve. Look at me now: mooning over a guy, my boss’s great-grandson, a man in a committed relationship.

I am so pathetic. I am worse than my ancestors. I am considering the possibility of being the other woman.

I, who swore to live my life sans the complications of men, am willing to entertain the possibility of getting involved with someone who is already involved.

When I walk into the café, he is already there. He is wiping down the counter. His arms working in steady, long, strong, strokes. He looks so good, so yummy.

I must stop my thoughts from going in that direction. I am starting to have impure thoughts and all he has done is wipe down a counter.

I must be strong. I must be strong.

I have to remember that women in my family are damned to suffer because of the men in their lives. I must remember that all men do is bring complications and pain into our lives. I must remember my promise and no matter what happens I must keep it.

I will not allow myself to forget it. Failure is not an option. I will not allow myself to become another victim to the Parker Curse.

Max POV:

It is almost the end of my shift and I have yet to speak to Liz.

If I was a little more paranoid, I would almost believe that she is again avoiding me, but I cannot imagine why.

I cannot think of a single thing that I must have done that might have put her off last time we spoke. I mean, for goodness’s sake, all I did was introduce myself.

Maybe she can sense my thoughts. Maybe when she comes near, she can see that in my mind I am already picturing us married and her belly swollen with my child growing inside.

But that’s crazy. There is no way she could know.

But wouldn’t that be something? Being able to see into someone else’s soul just by looking into their eyes. No words being necessary.

I make up my mind.

There is no one here anyway. Well, no one but that lady by the window nursing what must be her seventh cup of coffee. I don’t know how she can just sit still and look at the window. If I had that much caffeine in my system, I would be about ready to fly off the roof by now.

Now, back to Liz. I stride over to her. I am going to do this. I am strong. I am a man. I can handle this. I can.

“Hey Liz,” I manage.

“Max,” she responds. She seems wary.

Why does she seem wary? And uncomfortable.

I suddenly realize that I have been looking at her without speaking for a while now. Longer than socially acceptable. Say something, anything. “Beautiful”

She looks even more uncomfortable now. Great going; that was just brilliant, Evans.

“I mean your hair looks beautiful. It is very shiny and your color is wonderful. It has great bounce and it seems to be full of life” Wonderful, now she probably thinks you are gay. Curse Isabel.

I look at the clock. We are officially closed. The lady by the window has already left. We can probably leave anytime. “Anyways, I was wondering if maybe you would like to do something with me now,” I say, “since we are off and all.”

“Something?”

“I don’t know. A late movie, maybe a bite to eat.”

She looks almost tempted for a second.

“I don’t think your girlfriend would like it,” she says.

And with that, she walks out.

I hesitate for one second, and then I go after her.

Tbc…

Chapter Eight

Liz POV:

I walked out of the café seemingly calm, but inside I was a wreck.

He asked me out. Well, at least I think he asked me out. What if he meant it as a let’s-just-be-friends thing? What if I just made a complete fool of myself?

But, what if he did ask me out? What a scumbag asking me out when he already has a girlfriend, a girlfriend that I have met when she visited him at work!

The worst part is that I was tempted.

I was really tempted.

He looked so adorable standing there talking to me. Adorable and nervous. I liked it. I could relate.

I am always nervous around him.

He looked so cute and I am weak.

If I had not remembered that he had a girlfriend, I might have even said yes, and that would have been catastrophic.

I don’t date. I just don’t. I don’t date anyone, but I especially will not date someone that I am (very) attracted to, someone that I might even like.

That is completely out of the question.

I mean, what if I fall in love with him? Okay, so it is too late for that. But what if he falls in love with me? What if he makes me forget all about my promises to myself about remaining single? Single and happy.

No. I have to remember my goals. I will not be another woman in my family ending up unhappy because of some man that did not deserve her. I just won’t.

“LIZ!” I hear from behind me.

I turn around and see Max. He is jogging trying to catch up to me.

I panic. I think about running, but then realize how ridiculous that would be.

I can’t run. What’s the point anyway? It’s not like I can avoid him forever. Besides, I probably just forgot something in the café.

Or maybe he is coming to tell me that I misunderstood. Maybe I was right and he really does want to be just friends. For some reason, I really don’t want to hear that.

“Liz,” he says as he comes to a stop beside me, “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Of all the things I was expecting him to say, that was not one of them. I can’t believe that he would lie to me. Lie to me shamelessly. He must remember that I was there when she visited him last week.

“Max,” I said in a tone that spells doom and a temper to come, “I met her last week.”

“Tess is not my girlfriend. She is my ex.”

I look at him doubtfully.

“She is. We just broke up, and she wants to get back together but I am not interested,” he clarifies. Then he looks at me meaningfully and adds, “I am interested in someone else.”

I don’t know what to say.

I scramble to find something, anything to keep me from saying yes to him. Because I know that if I say yes to a date it won’t stop there. I won’t be able to ever deny him anything.

And in the end, I will just end up unhappy. Just like everyone else in my family.

For a second, I wished I was normal. Because if I was just a normal girl, I would say yes to him. I would have never have even thought about saying no.

If I was normal, I would be able to have fun with him without worrying that I would only make me unhappy in the end. But I am not normal.

“I am not interested.” I say and start to walk away.

He stops me. “Why?”

“The idea of going out with a playboy that skips around from woman to woman when a new one catches his eye has never held any appeal for me. Go figure.”

“I am NOT a playboy. Heck, the only girl I have ever gone out with is Tess.”

“How long have the two of you been together?” I ask. I can’t help but be curious.

“We WERE together for years.” He tells me making sure to stress the fact that they are no longer a couple.

“And you were willing to give up that long a relationship for a potential relationship that might never even exist?”

“Tess knew that we would not be forever. Or at least, I thought she knew. She must have known that I was always waiting for something else.” He stops. “And you must know that now that I have found it, I will not give up.”

I am shocked.

He seems so sure. And suddenly, I am sure that he will not give up.

And, I get scared. Scared because I know that I will not be able to say no to him forever. Scared because I am not even sure if I want to keep saying no to him.

So, I do the only thing I can do. I run.

Max POV:

I watch her run away from me and I am disappointed. Disappointed but also hopeful.

She might not have stayed. She might not have said yes, but she will.

I know she will. I saw it in her eyes.

She is torn because a part of her doesn’t want me to give up.

But she is scared. I don’t know why. Maybe grandpa was right and women really are as scared of commitment as men are said to be, but I can’t be sorry.

Not when now I know that though she might be fighting it she is maybe just as attracted to me as I am to her.

Not when I know that there is hope.

I will reassure her. I will lay her fears to rest, and then we will be together.

And we will live happily ever after.

Tbc…

Chapter Nine:

Liz POV:

When I turned sixteen, my mom gave me my great-great-grandmother’s bracelet. It had been passed down from mother to eldest daughter until my Aunt Josie died and it went to my mother. With me being an only child, my mother gave it to me.

My mom gave told me how it is supposed to symbolize hope. My great-great-grandfather bought it for my great-great-grandmother and they are said to have been blissfully happy for the short time they were together.

The bracelet is then supposed to symbolize the beauty of love and the hope that we may find it, as she had.

For me, this bracelet is a symbol of pain and grief.

It is a bracelet worn by six women that had been hurt by the men in their lives.

I am wearing it as I walk into the café for my shift. It is the day after my… confrontation with Max, and I feel I need a tangible reminder of what I stand to lose.

I run my fingers through it as I see Max leaning against the counter, staring straight back at me.

He keeps looking at me throughout my shift intensely, insistently.

I do my best to avoid him.

I know I will not be able to avoid him forever.

Ruby did not come in today and Leah had to leave early, so Lila asked me if I could stay late and help close. I want to say no. I really want to say no, but I can’t

I know how difficult it is to close when yourself and Max is new. I just couldn’t do that to him, no matter how much I want to avoid him.

I flip the sign out front to CLOSED and start cleaning the tables on the other side of the café, as far away from Max as possible.

He starts wiping down the counters and puts on the radio.

Kelly Clarkson’s Because of You comes on.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

I want to cry.

I want to cry because I can relate. Instead, I scrub harder.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I look over to Max, and find that he has stopped working and is just looking at me.

I start to put the chairs up on the table.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I grab the mop and start running it across the floor.

I am almost done.

I can almost go home.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I don’t see Max coming up to me until he is right next to me.

He touches my arm, and I look up to him with tears in my eyes.

But I won’t cry.

I don’t even know why I want to.

Max POV:

I notice her working harder as the song progresses.

The chairs go down with a bang as she sets them down, and she wields that mop as a weapon.

I wonder why this song affects her so.

I wonder if her parents are divorced.

I wonder if that is why she won’t let me in.

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

I go up to her.

She does not see me; she is too engrossed in the song and what she is doing.

But I know she is suffering. I can feel it.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

I touch her arm and she looks at me.

I see the tears in her eyes and I pull her into my arms.

She breaks down.

She starts to cry, and I just hold her against me.

Because of you
Because of you

I run my fingers through her hair and try to soothe her.

The song ends and commercials come on.

She abruptly breaks away from me. She looks to be uncomfortable with her outburst.

I have questions about it: about her life, about what made her cry, about what made her so wary of me. But I won’t pressure her.

So, I just stand there and wait for her to say something.

“Thanks,” she says and leaves to put the mop away.

When she comes back, she looks at me embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she says gesturing at my shirt. “I got you all wet.”

I want to tell her not to be sorry, that I was happy that I was able to be there for her. I want to tell her that I will always be there for her. Instead I say, “no problem.”

She nods and goes back to the locker room to get her purse and jacket.

I wait for her by the door and we walk to campus together.

We don’t say anything until we get to her dorm and then all we say is good-bye, but I feel that I have made some leeway.

At least, she isn’t avoiding me anymore.

Tbc…

The song Because of You does not belong to me.

Thanks everyone for all of your encouraging feedback

Chapter Ten:

Liz POV:

It’s Friday. It’s been two days since the whole song incident.

I thought about closing in, building my walls back up, but I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

Max was so wonderful, so understanding. He didn’t press me for information. He didn’t pressure me about anything. The only thing he has been determined about is being with me.

He is perfect.

No, he isn’t. No one is perfect, but, if I believed in happy endings, he would be perfect for me.

But I don’t believe in happy endings.

I don’t know what to do. I want to be Max’s friend. I really do, but I am also in love with him.

Assuming he agrees to only be friends, would I want to be in his life knowing that he will eventually move on? Would I be able to watch as he begins to date, falls in love and marries someone else?

What do I do?

It is almost as if he was especially designed to temp me.

A part of me, a large part of me, is saying the hell with the curse, go for it. Be happy with him for as long as possible, even if is not forever.

But how can I do that? How can I let go of the guiding relationship principle in my life? Not to have any.

How can I, for a moment, trust Max not to break my heart when I KNOW the he eventually will?

I know I can’t say no to our friendship, but I also know I can’t say yes to anything more than that.

No matter how wonderful he is. No matter how understanding, he can never be for me.

Max POV:

We are walking home after our shift.

It’s Friday and I want to ask Liz if she wants to catch a late movie, but I don’t want to scare her off.

I want to move our relationship forward, but I don’t want to risk the friendship we seem to have established.

Should I shoot for more or should I try to build a stronger foundation?

Isn’t the foundation of any good relationship a strong friendship?

Besides, I am patient guy. I can wait for her to be ready for more. After all, we are going to be together forever. It would be better if I did not screw up and jeopardize that now.

“Liz, do you think that you might want to catch a late movie with me?”

She gives me a look and I know that she is about to turn me down.

“As friends,” I add.

“I don’t really feel like going out,” she tells me, “but maybe you could come over and we can watch a movie in my dorm. I have a whole library of them. It is my secret addiction.”

“Well, we all have our vices,” I offer.

“Oh, really,” she looks at me archly, “what’s yours?”

“No, no, no. I am trying to get you to like me now. We can save the vices for later. Maybe you would like to hear a list of my virtues now. Huh?” I look at her jokingly, “I have a lot of them.”

“Arrogance,” she says decidedly.

We go into her dorm.

She really does have a lot of movies. I wonder what she’ll pick for us to watch.

“Guys like to watch action movies, right?” she looks at me.

“I keep mine here,” she says pointing at a section of her movie collection. “What do you want to watch?”

I look around. You know I think you can learn a lot about a person by seeing what movies they like.

I immediately spot the chick flicks. There are A LOT of them.

“Somehow I did not have you pegged as the chick flick type,” I tell her gesturing towards them.

I don’t believe in happy endings,” she says looking at them wistfully, “but I want to. Boy, do I want to.”

I want to ask why. I want to find out who scared her so much that she is afraid to be happy. I want to slay her demons. But I don’t want to pressure her.

She will come to me when she is ready. Hopefully.

I keep looking and I spot the original Star Wars trilogy.

She sees me looking at them and says, “Don’t you just hate how they completely set you up in those movies?”

“Come again?”

“In Star Wars, they completely set you up. You spend the whole first movie wanting Luke and Leah to get together only to find out that they are siblings. I swear it made me feel like a pervert.”

“Oh please. Luke was way too wimpy for her,” I say puffing out my chest.

She starts to laugh hysterically. I wonder if I should be offended.

“Anyway,” she says holding up a movie, “I know this is kind of heavy, but have you seen A Beautiful Mind?”

“No, I haven’t”

“Do you want to?” she asks.

I would watch anything with her. “Sure.”

We put it on, and get comfortable.

She leans her head on my shoulder.

I wrap my arms around her.

She doesn’t pull away, and I couldn’t be happier.

Tbc…
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