Lonely (M/L ADULT AU) - 1/1; 30/9 COMPLETE
Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 8:40 am
Title: Lonely
Author: Emma
Disclaimer: I don’t own Roswell or its characters. I also don’t own any of the songs used in this fic.
Category: M/L
Rating: ADULT.
Summery: Max only knows one way to communicate with the woman he loves.
1.
“It’s 12.01 am and you’re listening to KROZ and I have a special treat for all you late night listeners out there. A new single off Evans new album, Lonely. Remember you heard it first at KROZ”
Sittin in a hotel miles from nowhere
Thought that this would be my happiness
I look at the phone and pick it up
For the millionth time I put It down again
Liz closed her eyes as he heard his husky voice through the speakers. Her first instinct was to reach over and turn the radio off but something about his words stopped her and she found herself listening intently.
I know I let you go
And I’ve got no right to know
Do you ever get lonely, baby
Don’t you ever get tired of living that way
Don’t you ever wonder whether there’s a better life out there
Do you ever think about what we had
and how you'd give anything to get it back
do you ever think you'll never love that way again
Wondering if only
do you ever get lonely
Liz felt tears sting her eyes. Did he realise that he was touching her soul with his words? Did he mean to?
He never used his own name when he released his songs and Liz wondered why.
I look around the room and wonder
When it was and how my life has changed
I’m surrounded by a million so - called friends
and I don’t even know their names, oh no
Liz laughed bitterly and loudly at the words. Wasn’t it those so called friends, and the lift of a rock star that he had left her for? Did he really expect people to believe that he wasn’t happy?
When all of your love is gone
and you feel like you don’t belong
Oh tell me
Liz wondered if that was how Max felt now. That now that all his dreams were in his reach that he felt like he would never belong.
Do you ever get lonely, baby
Don’t you ever get tired of living that way
Don’t you ever wonder whether there a better life out there
Do you ever think about what we had
And how you'd give anything to get it back
Do you ever think you'll never love that way again
Wondering if only
Do you ever get lonely
So caught up in the words to his song Liz didn’t notice the person standing in her bedroom watching her tears fall as she sat on her balcony.
I know that this world has changed us
now we're nothing more than strangers
But do you think about me ever
Do you think we belong together
“Yes I think about you every hour of every day,” Liz whispered unbeknownst to her though her words were heard.
Do you ever get lonely, baby
Don’t you ever get tired of living that way
Don’t you ever wonder whether there’s a better
life out there, yeah
Do you ever think about what we had
and how you’d give everything to get it back
Do you ever think you’ll never love that way
again
Do you ever miss me
Wishing you could kiss me
If only you could hold me
Do you ever get lonely like me
As the final strands of the song fade away Liz allows her sobs to escape her. Tonight hadn’t been a good night for her; it was the second anniversary of their separation. She had told herself there would be no tears today but she should have known better than that. Max was destined to haunt her and he would do it in the most powerful way. Through his words.
Liz Parker had been in love with Max Evans for most of her life. Max had always been a quiet guy, hiding behind his guitar and his long shaggy hair. But he had the most soulful eyes that Liz had ever seen.
Liz knew he was destined to be someone, which was why she was so surprised when he had paid attention to her out of all the other girls in Roswell who wanted his attention. But after their first date, they were inseparable. For some reason he had picked her and she had truly believed they were soul mates.
Liz thought they were in love, she dreamed of a happily ever after. She didn’t anticipate being left behind when Max left to follow his dream. It had crushed her. It had been a year after he left that she had heard his first song. He didn’t use his name but she knew his voice, his powerful words. His music was beautiful and she heard every word. It was also then that she realised that he was truly lost to her.
She hadn’t been prepared for his latest song though.
“So that was Evan’s latest single, I think he’s got another hit on his hands” she heard the DJ comment. “It also comes with a special message, so Liz if you’re out there and you’re listening Max wanted to tell you hey”
Liz felt laughter spill from her mouth as the message filtered through.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she cried out staring at the heavens.
Was he really doing this to her, torturing her with her own feelings?
Unable to listen for a second longer Liz reached over and flicked the radio off before rising to her feet and heading into the safe haven of her bedroom.
There were too many memories in Roswell. Why did she think that she should be here tonight? With a shake of her head she closed the window behind her and locked it feeling better about the fact that this time tomorrow she would be safe from the memories.
***
Liz sighed as she looked at her ringing cell.
“Hi Maria” she replied.
“Where are you?” Maria asked, “And before you contemplate lying to me I’m standing outside your dorm room with a coffee and you’re not answering”
Liz smiled. “Who said I was going to lie? I’m in Roswell”
“What! Why?” Maria demanded.
“I just decided yesterday morning that I wanted to come for a visit” she shrugged.
“You should have told me I would have come with you” Maria replied.
“I know but I needed sometime to myself”
“Is everything ok?” Maria asked.
Liz could hear the worry in her voice and she realised that Maria had no idea the significance of yesterday. No one did except her and probably Max. Her thoughts returned to the night before then, and the message from Max to Liz, and she wondered how he knew she would be in Roswell. She supposed it was possible that there was another Liz and Max in Roswell, possible but unlikely.
“I’m ok” Liz replied.
“When will you be home?”
“Tonight” she replied.
“Ok well call me when you get in and I’ll come over with a bottle of wine, ok?”
“Ok” Liz smiled.
Liz hung up her phone and slid into an empty booth of her parent’s restaurant. She had only been sitting their for a few minutes when a plate with stacked pancakes was slid in front of her. Looking up she came face to face with Michael Guerin.
“Your favourite if I remember correctly” he smiled shyly.
Michael was a cook at her parent’s restaurant and had been since a teenager, he also used to be Max’s best friend.
“Thanks” Liz smiled.
Michael didn’t wait for an invitation and slid in the booth across from her.
“How’ve you been?” he asked.
“Ok, you?” Liz replied.
Michael studied her, “you’re a bad liar,” he told her. “Always were,” he added.
Liz smiled. “Honestly I’m ok,” she said again.
“How long you in town?” he asked.
“Leaving this afternoon,” Liz answered before shovelling a forkful of pancakes into her mouth.
She closed her eyes savouring the taste, Michael always made great pancakes.
“Come with me somewhere tonight,” he requested quietly.
“What?”
“Come with me somewhere tonight, there’s somewhere I want to take you,” he told her seriously.
“I’m leaving” Liz replied.
“Stay” He said simply.
Liz studied the serious man in front of her. It was unusual for Michael to sit and talk to her; he was a quiet guy by nature and always had been. She had suspected that was where his bond with Max had come from through the years.
“Ok” she found herself nodding.
“You wont regret it” He smiled slightly before he stood up and headed back to the kitchen.
Liz knew though that she most likely would.
***
After a vague text message to Maria explaining she wouldn’t be home that night, Liz had left her parents apartment with Michael for an unknown destination.
When they arrived almost an hour later, it was a small out of the way café that Liz had never heard of before.
She turned to Michael with a questioning gaze.
“Come on” he said and got out of his old car and waited for her.
Reluctantly Liz followed him inside and was surprised by what she found. There were maybe 20 or so people inside and they were all sitting around listening to someone singing.
“What is this place?” Liz asked.
Michael looked at his watch. He knew he had timed this perfectly, he had after all concocted this entire plan with Isabel’s help, and her plans never failed.
Before Michel could answer the song playing ended and the singer thanked everyone before vacating the seat.
“Open mic night?” Liz questioned confused. She had been to enough of these to listen to Max over the years.
Michael nodded towards the stage and Liz turned her attention back towards it just in time to see a new person taking their seat.
This time it was a man, short dark hair and he looked uncomfortable in front of everyone.
From the angle of her seat Liz couldn’t see his face very well but when he spoke, she froze.
“Hi everyone” he said quietly.
“This is a new song I’ve written recently, I wanted to play it for you guys,” he said simply before he turned his attention to his guitar and started strumming.
Watched my life pass me by -- in the rear-view mirror
Pictures frozen in time -- are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day -- stuck in the shadow of my mistakes -- yeah
Liz looked to Michael in disbelief but Michael just gave her a lopsided smile and turned his attention back to Max.
Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burning -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.
Max looked from his guitar then and his eyes scanned the crowd. He knew that Isabel and Michael would be there somewhere but he was always careful to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze head on in case they recognised him.
He caught sight of Isabel, standing in the corner of the room watching him with a smile on her face.
Max’s eyes drifted again then and he spotted Michael, but it was the person sitting next to Michael, staring openly at him that surprised him.
And then their eyes met.
I've been dying inside -- little by little
Nowhere to go -- I'm going outta my mind
An endless circle -- runnin from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still
Max didn’t waver from meeting her beautiful eyes head on. He used his eyes to convey the way he was feeling, and that it was only her that made him feel that way.
When he left her almost 2 years ago, he had left his heart behind with her too. It had literally broken him to end things between them but he had places to go and he didn’t want to ruin Liz’s life by dragging her with him.
At the time he had no idea if he would succeed but he promised himself that if he did the first thing he would do was come for her.
Liz hadn’t been waiting.
And I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burning -- to find the place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.
Liz fought the urge to look away from him. His eyes were exactly how she remembered but everything else was different. It was like staring at a stranger but seeing someone you knew better than yourself.
Falling' faster -- barely breathing
Give me something to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head
Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again
Liz felt her heart beat faster as he sung the song with so much raw emotion and his words rung loud like a challenge, and she wondered if that’s what his song was about, and if he truly believed that she would take it.
Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burning -- to find the place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
You can have, all that's left, (yeah, yeah, yeah) what's left of me
Liz turned to Michael then, “Why did you bring me here?” she whispered.
Michael smiled before he reached over and rubbed her hand gently. “I came up to see your parents last night but they were asleep on the couch. I heard music coming from your room and so I… “
“You heard,” she guessed.
Michael nodded.
“Did he know I was home?” Liz asked.
Michael smiled a little more then,
I've been dying inside you see
I'm goin outta my mind (outta my mind)
I'm just runnin' in circles all the time
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left? of me
I'm just runnin' in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left? -- of me
Take what's left of me
The song finished then and Liz rose to her feet intending on fleeing.
Max also saw this and was about to remove his guitar off his lap to flee after her.
“Don’t” Michael rose to his feet and whispered.
“Please just stay a few more songs,” Michael requested.
“Why?” Liz cried.
“Because regardless of what either of you feel or don’t you both need this. You need closure and Max… “
“What does Max need Michael?” Liz whispered.
“You” he said simply before sitting back down leaving Liz to make her mind about whether she should stay or go.
Max waited with bated breath for what Liz was going to do. He had no idea what Michael had said to her but it obviously affected her because after a few seconds she also sat back down.
“This was one of the first songs I ever wrote” he spoke quietly into the mic. “It was for a girl,” he added then before looking up and meeting Liz’s eyes head on, “the girl actually” he chuckled and the audience joined him.
“It’s called Someday,” he said then before he begun to strum his guitar.
So we’ve already established the fact
That things are going to be different in the future babe
And you’ve reiterated the fact
That you don’t want to get into something
That’s just gonna have to end later
Liz smiled as she remembered the song. It was the first song that Max had ever sung for her.
It was too bad that Max hadn’t lived up to the words he used to sing with so much passion.
I know our lives are changing
And I seen it coming for a while too
Don’t get me wrong
I’ve been going out of town
Baby and it’s gonna happen more
We’ve gotta be strong
Liz had often wondered after Max had gotten a contract why he had never released this song. It was a definite hit. But at the same time, she was glad because it was so personal and she would have hated to have heard it on the radio every five minutes like some of his other songs.
While I’m gone
Just be a fly on the wall
You know,
I’m thinking about you
Just wait and see
You gotta hear what I say
I’m in love with you
I’m not so far away
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, some day
I will be here babe
Someday, some day
I will be the one
Max knew it was selfish but as he sung the words, he couldn’t help but wish that Liz had done exactly what the song said. Waited for him until he could come back to her. The truth was Liz wanted to go with him and he knew he should have let her. If he had, he wouldn’t be away from the only woman he knew he could ever love.
Liz was his inspiration for every song.
He hadn’t known she would be in Roswell the other night when he had rung the radio station, but he had hoped. It was the anniversary of the day he had left her and it was why he had come to Roswell. He had hoped she would be there too.
I know you’ve gotta go to university
And I’m just trying to make some cash
To follow my dreams
But please don’t say we’re too busy
To give each other time and support we needs
Liz felt tears come to her eyes at his words.
He had been too busy
He had left her and despite how hard she had tried to get over it, it still hurt like hell.
I know we’ve gotta work our jobs
To make some money
To get by in this expensive world
But don’t let that over take the fact
That before all that
You’re still my girl
As Max sung the words he looked up, his eyes met with Liz’s, and he smiled his trademark smile.
It was a smile that had millions of girls and women all over the world screaming about now
While I’m gone
Just be a fly on the wall
You know I’m talking about you
Just wait and see
You’ve gotta hear what I say
I’m in love with you
I’m not so far away
Max never took his eyes of Liz for the rest of the song and as much as it unnerved Liz, she couldn’t take her eyes off him either.
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one baby
Someday, Someday
I know that you love me
Someday, Someday
Sorry that you’re leaving
Someday, Someday
I will be there
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
I’m in love with you
I’m so far away
Michael smiled as he looked over at Liz.
He leaned towards her then until he had her attention. “Sometimes you forget how good he is,” he whispered.
“Yeah” Liz replied absently. She had always remembered how good he was. Had always believed he would make it.
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
I know that you love me
Someday, Someday
I just need you here with me
Max noticed Liz’s attention waver from his as she reached for her pocket and pulled out her cell. He wondered who it was calling. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach as he thought that it might have been her boyfriend.
Liz glanced at the phone and back to Max who was still staring at her intently. It was only Maria on the phone so she pushed it back into her pocket.
Don’t have to try
Love will take us there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
Look towards the sky babe
Someday, Someday
There’s no need to cry babe
Someday, Someday
I know that you’re always what I wanted
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday
I just need you here
The room erupted with applause at the conclusion of the song, and everyone in the audience rose to their feet.
Looking around Liz saw her opportunity escape without notice and so she did.
She slipped out the side door and walked towards Michael’s car where she would wait.
***
Max looked around frantically as the crowd began to sit back down and he noticed that Liz’s seat was empty.
He exchanged a look with Michael who shrugged his shoulders.
“Thank you everyone,” he said into the mic.
“That’s me for tonight but I’ll see you all again soon” he stood before anyone could object and with his guitar in hand he fled the room.
Michael met him at the exit. “Did you see where she went?” he asked.
“She couldn’t have gotten too far. I drove” Michel informed him but Max was scared that she could have gotten far enough away that would never get to see or touch her again.
He had spent months trying to find out where she was but no one had been willing to give up the information to him. Her parents had told him to leave her alone and no one in Roswell seemed to know where to find her.
Max handed Michael his guitar and took off in a jog towards the car park. He stopped suddenly when he caught sight of her long flowing hair as she leaned against Michael’s car.
As though she felt him, Liz turned as he approached.
Max saw her stiffen and his heart sank.
“Hi” he whispered.
“Hi” she replied her eyes focused on the millions of stars lighting up the sky.
“You look good,” he said for lack of anything else to say.
Liz turned and laughed at him then. “After two years that’s the first thing you have to say to me” she said, bitterness creeping into her voice.
“There are a million things I want to say to you I just don’t know where to start,” he admitted.
“How have you been?” he asked then.
“Not as busy as you” Liz replied.
“I’ve tried to get in contact with you” Max admitted then. “But no one would tell me where to find you”
“Why?” Liz asked.
“Because I miss you,” Max whispered, “I miss you with every fibre of my body,” he added.
Liz smiled a little then as she looked away, “then why did you leave me?” she asked then, “why did you leave me heart broken and lonely?”
Max looked away guiltily, “I thought it was best for you”
“Right…”
“I did” Max cried, “You had all these dreams to go to school and make something of your life. I couldn’t ask you to give that up when I had no idea if I would succeed or not” he tried to explain.
“The only dream I ever had that mattered to me was being with you,” Liz whispered then finally turning and looking at Max.
“Liz…” he whispered.
“I’m getting married,” she blurted out then.
Max’s mouth fell open in shock and devastation.
“When?” he asked.
“I don’t know that yet, he asked the other night I said I’d think about it,” she explained.
Max sighed in relief. If she hadn’t said yes yet that meant it wasn’t too late.
“Don’t say yes,” he said as he took a step forward.
“Why would I do that?” Liz asked.
“Because I love you, and I know you love me. You belong with me…”
“I belong with you when it suits you,” Liz snapped angrily.
Max’s hand covered his heart then, “leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life and I know I’ll never be able to make up for that. But I’m here, I love you so much more then that young foolish idiot ever did, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you”
Liz felt tears spring to her eyes.
“Doug’s a good man,” she told him.
“I’m sure he is if you chose him” Max agreed as he took another step forward.
“He’s taken care of me,” she added weakening with every step Max took.
“But your heart doesn’t beat for him the way it does for me” Max whispered as he finally stood in front of her.
“Damn you max Evans” she cried as she hit his chest with her closed fists.
“I love you Liz” Max whispered as he pulled her crying body towards him. “God I love you,” he said.
Liz knew he did.
It had been 2 long years of listening to his songs, songs that were about her, or so she had hoped and prayed. They sung of their history and hopes for a future.
He had hoped she would wait. He had broken her heart though.
“I have a life in Las Cruses,” she admitted then.
“Then we’ll live in Las Cruses” Max smiled down at her.
“But what about New York…”
“The most important thing I’ve leant these past 2 years without you is that dreams mean nothing if the person you love isn’t there to share it with you”
“I don’t want you to give up your dreams. I love hearing your music,” Liz admitted.
“I’ll always sing for you, but your more important to me so where you are, that’s where I’ll be”
Liz looked away feeling guilty. Is this what it would have been like had she followed him to New York? He hadn’t wanted her to give up her dreams but now he was doing exactly that.
Liz was still going to university. She had met Doug 12 months ago he was her RA. She had been accepted at some wonderful schools but she hadn’t had the heart to go after Max had left so in the end she had followed Maria to school.
“NYU as a pretty good biology program” she admitted.
Max eyed Liz, his love shining in his eyes.
“Whatever you want” Max promised. “Just as long as you’re by my side”
Liz almost couldn’t believe what was happening. She was in the arms of the love of her life again, and he was pleading for forgiveness, telling her he loved her.
“I love you,” he told her again and this time she looked up and smiled.
“I love you too”
Her words lit up Max’s face and he wasted no time crushing her body against his.
***
1 Year Later
Liz smiled as the final notes of Max’s last song faded out.
“That was Evans brand new single 'You’re the One'. It was requested by Max Evans who has a message for Liz Parker.
Liz, if you’re listening to this you shouldn’t be, get your ass dressed and come and marry me” Max’s voice sounded over the radio.
Liz burst out laughing at the message, it was so typical Max.
“You ready chica?” Maria asked as she poke her head in Liz’s doorway.
Liz cast a final glance at her reflection in the mirror. Her white dress fit her to perfection and her smile radiated the happiness she was felling. Today was the day she had dreamed about all her life. Today she was marrying the love of her life Max Evans.
“I was born ready Maria,” she whispered.
“Then lets go marry your soul mate” Maria smiled.
And that was what she did.
There would be no more anniversaries by herself.
There would be no more sad songs, only years of happiness and love to come.
The End
Songs used:
Lonely - Shannon Nole
What’s Left Of Me - Nick Lachey
Someday, Someday – Thirsty Merk
Author: Emma
Disclaimer: I don’t own Roswell or its characters. I also don’t own any of the songs used in this fic.
Category: M/L
Rating: ADULT.
Summery: Max only knows one way to communicate with the woman he loves.
1.
“It’s 12.01 am and you’re listening to KROZ and I have a special treat for all you late night listeners out there. A new single off Evans new album, Lonely. Remember you heard it first at KROZ”
Sittin in a hotel miles from nowhere
Thought that this would be my happiness
I look at the phone and pick it up
For the millionth time I put It down again
Liz closed her eyes as he heard his husky voice through the speakers. Her first instinct was to reach over and turn the radio off but something about his words stopped her and she found herself listening intently.
I know I let you go
And I’ve got no right to know
Do you ever get lonely, baby
Don’t you ever get tired of living that way
Don’t you ever wonder whether there’s a better life out there
Do you ever think about what we had
and how you'd give anything to get it back
do you ever think you'll never love that way again
Wondering if only
do you ever get lonely
Liz felt tears sting her eyes. Did he realise that he was touching her soul with his words? Did he mean to?
He never used his own name when he released his songs and Liz wondered why.
I look around the room and wonder
When it was and how my life has changed
I’m surrounded by a million so - called friends
and I don’t even know their names, oh no
Liz laughed bitterly and loudly at the words. Wasn’t it those so called friends, and the lift of a rock star that he had left her for? Did he really expect people to believe that he wasn’t happy?
When all of your love is gone
and you feel like you don’t belong
Oh tell me
Liz wondered if that was how Max felt now. That now that all his dreams were in his reach that he felt like he would never belong.
Do you ever get lonely, baby
Don’t you ever get tired of living that way
Don’t you ever wonder whether there a better life out there
Do you ever think about what we had
And how you'd give anything to get it back
Do you ever think you'll never love that way again
Wondering if only
Do you ever get lonely
So caught up in the words to his song Liz didn’t notice the person standing in her bedroom watching her tears fall as she sat on her balcony.
I know that this world has changed us
now we're nothing more than strangers
But do you think about me ever
Do you think we belong together
“Yes I think about you every hour of every day,” Liz whispered unbeknownst to her though her words were heard.
Do you ever get lonely, baby
Don’t you ever get tired of living that way
Don’t you ever wonder whether there’s a better
life out there, yeah
Do you ever think about what we had
and how you’d give everything to get it back
Do you ever think you’ll never love that way
again
Do you ever miss me
Wishing you could kiss me
If only you could hold me
Do you ever get lonely like me
As the final strands of the song fade away Liz allows her sobs to escape her. Tonight hadn’t been a good night for her; it was the second anniversary of their separation. She had told herself there would be no tears today but she should have known better than that. Max was destined to haunt her and he would do it in the most powerful way. Through his words.
Liz Parker had been in love with Max Evans for most of her life. Max had always been a quiet guy, hiding behind his guitar and his long shaggy hair. But he had the most soulful eyes that Liz had ever seen.
Liz knew he was destined to be someone, which was why she was so surprised when he had paid attention to her out of all the other girls in Roswell who wanted his attention. But after their first date, they were inseparable. For some reason he had picked her and she had truly believed they were soul mates.
Liz thought they were in love, she dreamed of a happily ever after. She didn’t anticipate being left behind when Max left to follow his dream. It had crushed her. It had been a year after he left that she had heard his first song. He didn’t use his name but she knew his voice, his powerful words. His music was beautiful and she heard every word. It was also then that she realised that he was truly lost to her.
She hadn’t been prepared for his latest song though.
“So that was Evan’s latest single, I think he’s got another hit on his hands” she heard the DJ comment. “It also comes with a special message, so Liz if you’re out there and you’re listening Max wanted to tell you hey”
Liz felt laughter spill from her mouth as the message filtered through.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she cried out staring at the heavens.
Was he really doing this to her, torturing her with her own feelings?
Unable to listen for a second longer Liz reached over and flicked the radio off before rising to her feet and heading into the safe haven of her bedroom.
There were too many memories in Roswell. Why did she think that she should be here tonight? With a shake of her head she closed the window behind her and locked it feeling better about the fact that this time tomorrow she would be safe from the memories.
***
Liz sighed as she looked at her ringing cell.
“Hi Maria” she replied.
“Where are you?” Maria asked, “And before you contemplate lying to me I’m standing outside your dorm room with a coffee and you’re not answering”
Liz smiled. “Who said I was going to lie? I’m in Roswell”
“What! Why?” Maria demanded.
“I just decided yesterday morning that I wanted to come for a visit” she shrugged.
“You should have told me I would have come with you” Maria replied.
“I know but I needed sometime to myself”
“Is everything ok?” Maria asked.
Liz could hear the worry in her voice and she realised that Maria had no idea the significance of yesterday. No one did except her and probably Max. Her thoughts returned to the night before then, and the message from Max to Liz, and she wondered how he knew she would be in Roswell. She supposed it was possible that there was another Liz and Max in Roswell, possible but unlikely.
“I’m ok” Liz replied.
“When will you be home?”
“Tonight” she replied.
“Ok well call me when you get in and I’ll come over with a bottle of wine, ok?”
“Ok” Liz smiled.
Liz hung up her phone and slid into an empty booth of her parent’s restaurant. She had only been sitting their for a few minutes when a plate with stacked pancakes was slid in front of her. Looking up she came face to face with Michael Guerin.
“Your favourite if I remember correctly” he smiled shyly.
Michael was a cook at her parent’s restaurant and had been since a teenager, he also used to be Max’s best friend.
“Thanks” Liz smiled.
Michael didn’t wait for an invitation and slid in the booth across from her.
“How’ve you been?” he asked.
“Ok, you?” Liz replied.
Michael studied her, “you’re a bad liar,” he told her. “Always were,” he added.
Liz smiled. “Honestly I’m ok,” she said again.
“How long you in town?” he asked.
“Leaving this afternoon,” Liz answered before shovelling a forkful of pancakes into her mouth.
She closed her eyes savouring the taste, Michael always made great pancakes.
“Come with me somewhere tonight,” he requested quietly.
“What?”
“Come with me somewhere tonight, there’s somewhere I want to take you,” he told her seriously.
“I’m leaving” Liz replied.
“Stay” He said simply.
Liz studied the serious man in front of her. It was unusual for Michael to sit and talk to her; he was a quiet guy by nature and always had been. She had suspected that was where his bond with Max had come from through the years.
“Ok” she found herself nodding.
“You wont regret it” He smiled slightly before he stood up and headed back to the kitchen.
Liz knew though that she most likely would.
***
After a vague text message to Maria explaining she wouldn’t be home that night, Liz had left her parents apartment with Michael for an unknown destination.
When they arrived almost an hour later, it was a small out of the way café that Liz had never heard of before.
She turned to Michael with a questioning gaze.
“Come on” he said and got out of his old car and waited for her.
Reluctantly Liz followed him inside and was surprised by what she found. There were maybe 20 or so people inside and they were all sitting around listening to someone singing.
“What is this place?” Liz asked.
Michael looked at his watch. He knew he had timed this perfectly, he had after all concocted this entire plan with Isabel’s help, and her plans never failed.
Before Michel could answer the song playing ended and the singer thanked everyone before vacating the seat.
“Open mic night?” Liz questioned confused. She had been to enough of these to listen to Max over the years.
Michael nodded towards the stage and Liz turned her attention back towards it just in time to see a new person taking their seat.
This time it was a man, short dark hair and he looked uncomfortable in front of everyone.
From the angle of her seat Liz couldn’t see his face very well but when he spoke, she froze.
“Hi everyone” he said quietly.
“This is a new song I’ve written recently, I wanted to play it for you guys,” he said simply before he turned his attention to his guitar and started strumming.
Watched my life pass me by -- in the rear-view mirror
Pictures frozen in time -- are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day -- stuck in the shadow of my mistakes -- yeah
Liz looked to Michael in disbelief but Michael just gave her a lopsided smile and turned his attention back to Max.
Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burning -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.
Max looked from his guitar then and his eyes scanned the crowd. He knew that Isabel and Michael would be there somewhere but he was always careful to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze head on in case they recognised him.
He caught sight of Isabel, standing in the corner of the room watching him with a smile on her face.
Max’s eyes drifted again then and he spotted Michael, but it was the person sitting next to Michael, staring openly at him that surprised him.
And then their eyes met.
I've been dying inside -- little by little
Nowhere to go -- I'm going outta my mind
An endless circle -- runnin from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still
Max didn’t waver from meeting her beautiful eyes head on. He used his eyes to convey the way he was feeling, and that it was only her that made him feel that way.
When he left her almost 2 years ago, he had left his heart behind with her too. It had literally broken him to end things between them but he had places to go and he didn’t want to ruin Liz’s life by dragging her with him.
At the time he had no idea if he would succeed but he promised himself that if he did the first thing he would do was come for her.
Liz hadn’t been waiting.
And I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burning -- to find the place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.
Liz fought the urge to look away from him. His eyes were exactly how she remembered but everything else was different. It was like staring at a stranger but seeing someone you knew better than yourself.
Falling' faster -- barely breathing
Give me something to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head
Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again
Liz felt her heart beat faster as he sung the song with so much raw emotion and his words rung loud like a challenge, and she wondered if that’s what his song was about, and if he truly believed that she would take it.
Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burning -- to find the place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
You can have, all that's left, (yeah, yeah, yeah) what's left of me
Liz turned to Michael then, “Why did you bring me here?” she whispered.
Michael smiled before he reached over and rubbed her hand gently. “I came up to see your parents last night but they were asleep on the couch. I heard music coming from your room and so I… “
“You heard,” she guessed.
Michael nodded.
“Did he know I was home?” Liz asked.
Michael smiled a little more then,
I've been dying inside you see
I'm goin outta my mind (outta my mind)
I'm just runnin' in circles all the time
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left? of me
I'm just runnin' in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left?
Will you take what's left? -- of me
Take what's left of me
The song finished then and Liz rose to her feet intending on fleeing.
Max also saw this and was about to remove his guitar off his lap to flee after her.
“Don’t” Michael rose to his feet and whispered.
“Please just stay a few more songs,” Michael requested.
“Why?” Liz cried.
“Because regardless of what either of you feel or don’t you both need this. You need closure and Max… “
“What does Max need Michael?” Liz whispered.
“You” he said simply before sitting back down leaving Liz to make her mind about whether she should stay or go.
Max waited with bated breath for what Liz was going to do. He had no idea what Michael had said to her but it obviously affected her because after a few seconds she also sat back down.
“This was one of the first songs I ever wrote” he spoke quietly into the mic. “It was for a girl,” he added then before looking up and meeting Liz’s eyes head on, “the girl actually” he chuckled and the audience joined him.
“It’s called Someday,” he said then before he begun to strum his guitar.
So we’ve already established the fact
That things are going to be different in the future babe
And you’ve reiterated the fact
That you don’t want to get into something
That’s just gonna have to end later
Liz smiled as she remembered the song. It was the first song that Max had ever sung for her.
It was too bad that Max hadn’t lived up to the words he used to sing with so much passion.
I know our lives are changing
And I seen it coming for a while too
Don’t get me wrong
I’ve been going out of town
Baby and it’s gonna happen more
We’ve gotta be strong
Liz had often wondered after Max had gotten a contract why he had never released this song. It was a definite hit. But at the same time, she was glad because it was so personal and she would have hated to have heard it on the radio every five minutes like some of his other songs.
While I’m gone
Just be a fly on the wall
You know,
I’m thinking about you
Just wait and see
You gotta hear what I say
I’m in love with you
I’m not so far away
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, some day
I will be here babe
Someday, some day
I will be the one
Max knew it was selfish but as he sung the words, he couldn’t help but wish that Liz had done exactly what the song said. Waited for him until he could come back to her. The truth was Liz wanted to go with him and he knew he should have let her. If he had, he wouldn’t be away from the only woman he knew he could ever love.
Liz was his inspiration for every song.
He hadn’t known she would be in Roswell the other night when he had rung the radio station, but he had hoped. It was the anniversary of the day he had left her and it was why he had come to Roswell. He had hoped she would be there too.
I know you’ve gotta go to university
And I’m just trying to make some cash
To follow my dreams
But please don’t say we’re too busy
To give each other time and support we needs
Liz felt tears come to her eyes at his words.
He had been too busy
He had left her and despite how hard she had tried to get over it, it still hurt like hell.
I know we’ve gotta work our jobs
To make some money
To get by in this expensive world
But don’t let that over take the fact
That before all that
You’re still my girl
As Max sung the words he looked up, his eyes met with Liz’s, and he smiled his trademark smile.
It was a smile that had millions of girls and women all over the world screaming about now
While I’m gone
Just be a fly on the wall
You know I’m talking about you
Just wait and see
You’ve gotta hear what I say
I’m in love with you
I’m not so far away
Max never took his eyes of Liz for the rest of the song and as much as it unnerved Liz, she couldn’t take her eyes off him either.
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one baby
Someday, Someday
I know that you love me
Someday, Someday
Sorry that you’re leaving
Someday, Someday
I will be there
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
I’m in love with you
I’m so far away
Michael smiled as he looked over at Liz.
He leaned towards her then until he had her attention. “Sometimes you forget how good he is,” he whispered.
“Yeah” Liz replied absently. She had always remembered how good he was. Had always believed he would make it.
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one
Someday, Someday
I will be there babe
Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
I know that you love me
Someday, Someday
I just need you here with me
Max noticed Liz’s attention waver from his as she reached for her pocket and pulled out her cell. He wondered who it was calling. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach as he thought that it might have been her boyfriend.
Liz glanced at the phone and back to Max who was still staring at her intently. It was only Maria on the phone so she pushed it back into her pocket.
Don’t have to try
Love will take us there babe
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday, Someday
Look towards the sky babe
Someday, Someday
There’s no need to cry babe
Someday, Someday
I know that you’re always what I wanted
Someday, Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday
I will be the one babe
Someday
I just need you here
The room erupted with applause at the conclusion of the song, and everyone in the audience rose to their feet.
Looking around Liz saw her opportunity escape without notice and so she did.
She slipped out the side door and walked towards Michael’s car where she would wait.
***
Max looked around frantically as the crowd began to sit back down and he noticed that Liz’s seat was empty.
He exchanged a look with Michael who shrugged his shoulders.
“Thank you everyone,” he said into the mic.
“That’s me for tonight but I’ll see you all again soon” he stood before anyone could object and with his guitar in hand he fled the room.
Michael met him at the exit. “Did you see where she went?” he asked.
“She couldn’t have gotten too far. I drove” Michel informed him but Max was scared that she could have gotten far enough away that would never get to see or touch her again.
He had spent months trying to find out where she was but no one had been willing to give up the information to him. Her parents had told him to leave her alone and no one in Roswell seemed to know where to find her.
Max handed Michael his guitar and took off in a jog towards the car park. He stopped suddenly when he caught sight of her long flowing hair as she leaned against Michael’s car.
As though she felt him, Liz turned as he approached.
Max saw her stiffen and his heart sank.
“Hi” he whispered.
“Hi” she replied her eyes focused on the millions of stars lighting up the sky.
“You look good,” he said for lack of anything else to say.
Liz turned and laughed at him then. “After two years that’s the first thing you have to say to me” she said, bitterness creeping into her voice.
“There are a million things I want to say to you I just don’t know where to start,” he admitted.
“How have you been?” he asked then.
“Not as busy as you” Liz replied.
“I’ve tried to get in contact with you” Max admitted then. “But no one would tell me where to find you”
“Why?” Liz asked.
“Because I miss you,” Max whispered, “I miss you with every fibre of my body,” he added.
Liz smiled a little then as she looked away, “then why did you leave me?” she asked then, “why did you leave me heart broken and lonely?”
Max looked away guiltily, “I thought it was best for you”
“Right…”
“I did” Max cried, “You had all these dreams to go to school and make something of your life. I couldn’t ask you to give that up when I had no idea if I would succeed or not” he tried to explain.
“The only dream I ever had that mattered to me was being with you,” Liz whispered then finally turning and looking at Max.
“Liz…” he whispered.
“I’m getting married,” she blurted out then.
Max’s mouth fell open in shock and devastation.
“When?” he asked.
“I don’t know that yet, he asked the other night I said I’d think about it,” she explained.
Max sighed in relief. If she hadn’t said yes yet that meant it wasn’t too late.
“Don’t say yes,” he said as he took a step forward.
“Why would I do that?” Liz asked.
“Because I love you, and I know you love me. You belong with me…”
“I belong with you when it suits you,” Liz snapped angrily.
Max’s hand covered his heart then, “leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life and I know I’ll never be able to make up for that. But I’m here, I love you so much more then that young foolish idiot ever did, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you”
Liz felt tears spring to her eyes.
“Doug’s a good man,” she told him.
“I’m sure he is if you chose him” Max agreed as he took another step forward.
“He’s taken care of me,” she added weakening with every step Max took.
“But your heart doesn’t beat for him the way it does for me” Max whispered as he finally stood in front of her.
“Damn you max Evans” she cried as she hit his chest with her closed fists.
“I love you Liz” Max whispered as he pulled her crying body towards him. “God I love you,” he said.
Liz knew he did.
It had been 2 long years of listening to his songs, songs that were about her, or so she had hoped and prayed. They sung of their history and hopes for a future.
He had hoped she would wait. He had broken her heart though.
“I have a life in Las Cruses,” she admitted then.
“Then we’ll live in Las Cruses” Max smiled down at her.
“But what about New York…”
“The most important thing I’ve leant these past 2 years without you is that dreams mean nothing if the person you love isn’t there to share it with you”
“I don’t want you to give up your dreams. I love hearing your music,” Liz admitted.
“I’ll always sing for you, but your more important to me so where you are, that’s where I’ll be”
Liz looked away feeling guilty. Is this what it would have been like had she followed him to New York? He hadn’t wanted her to give up her dreams but now he was doing exactly that.
Liz was still going to university. She had met Doug 12 months ago he was her RA. She had been accepted at some wonderful schools but she hadn’t had the heart to go after Max had left so in the end she had followed Maria to school.
“NYU as a pretty good biology program” she admitted.
Max eyed Liz, his love shining in his eyes.
“Whatever you want” Max promised. “Just as long as you’re by my side”
Liz almost couldn’t believe what was happening. She was in the arms of the love of her life again, and he was pleading for forgiveness, telling her he loved her.
“I love you,” he told her again and this time she looked up and smiled.
“I love you too”
Her words lit up Max’s face and he wasted no time crushing her body against his.
***
1 Year Later
Liz smiled as the final notes of Max’s last song faded out.
“That was Evans brand new single 'You’re the One'. It was requested by Max Evans who has a message for Liz Parker.
Liz, if you’re listening to this you shouldn’t be, get your ass dressed and come and marry me” Max’s voice sounded over the radio.
Liz burst out laughing at the message, it was so typical Max.
“You ready chica?” Maria asked as she poke her head in Liz’s doorway.
Liz cast a final glance at her reflection in the mirror. Her white dress fit her to perfection and her smile radiated the happiness she was felling. Today was the day she had dreamed about all her life. Today she was marrying the love of her life Max Evans.
“I was born ready Maria,” she whispered.
“Then lets go marry your soul mate” Maria smiled.
And that was what she did.
There would be no more anniversaries by herself.
There would be no more sad songs, only years of happiness and love to come.
The End
Songs used:
Lonely - Shannon Nole
What’s Left Of Me - Nick Lachey
Someday, Someday – Thirsty Merk