Divine Intervention (VM, ADULT, 1/1) COMPLETE

[Applebylicious]

Title: Divine Intervention
Author: Lindsay
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica
Rating: ADULT
Summary: Logan and Veronica receive a bit of help from an ethereal matchmaker. Oh, and Veronica’s going straight to Hell.
Spoilers/Warnings: Everything up to Rashard And Wallace Go To Whitecastle. Begins in the confessional scene and goes completely, irrevocably AU from there.
Author’s Note: Thanks to Lady Disdain, mutinousmuse, and fickledame for offering to beta this piece when it probably should have been dragged out into the street and shot. Also, thanks to my premiere beta, taken_with_you for all things.
Written for the “Cupid Challenge” challenge over at loveathons.
X-posted to My Fic Journal
Comments are yummy candy.


Dear God, she was going straight to hell.

“I’m sorry about this, I really am,” she muttered, quickly tacking the bugging device to the underside of the confessional panel as every insignificant noise within the church seemed to precede a bolt of lightening from the heavens.

For close to the millionth time since entering St. Mary’s, she cursed Logan and Weevil and the part of her that simply couldn’t sit back and let the people she cared about down. Even if her relationship with said people as of late was lukewarm at best.

“This’ll be so quick,” she promised to no one in particular. “I mean, you’ll hardly even know I was here.” She fiddled with the bug, grimacing as her fingertip caught on a slice of unfinished wood. “Great. You’re already punishing me, aren’t You?”

With no answer forthcoming, she blew out a breath and returned to her work with thoughts of escape – and vengeance - in mind. She was already drawing up plans for the future favors she would entail from Logan and Weevil when a slight scuffling sounded outside of the booth. She froze, fingers wrapped around the video equipment as she stared at the door that led to the inner sanctuary with wide eyes.

A moment passed, and then another. No one came storming inside, demanding to know the reason for her presence, nor did she receive a sign from God that she was doomed to the fiery pits of Hell for bugging a confessional.

“Suspicion always haunts a guilty mind,” she quoted in a low murmur, shaking her head at her own guilty conscience. “I suppose I’m already beyond redemption though, right? So be it.”

“Talking to yourself again, Veronica Mars?”

Every muscle in her body went tight with shock, her fingers fumbling with the camera as it fell to the floor with a soft thud. Her pulse pounded, lips trembling as she looked through the window at the shadowy figure on the other side. “L-Lilly?”

She’d never been one to believe in ghosts. It wasn’t practical. After Lilly had been murdered, her world and the way she viewed it was turned upside down and practicality took a backseat to the fantastic and oftentimes horrifying truths she’d spent a lifetime ridiculing.

Soft laughter sprinkled the air, sending every hair on the back of Veronica’s neck on end. She watched in stunned disbelief as her dead best friend turned toward her and flashed the dazzling smile that was Lilly Kane’s signature. “So, bugging a church confessional? How deliciously naughty of you, Veronica. I’m impressed.”

“It’s only video feed, no sound,” Veronica replied inanely, unsure of how to react to Lilly’s sudden reappearance. She hadn’t experienced visions of Lilly since the day of the bus crash, and something told her that her friend’s presence now wasn’t to bring her exciting tales of the life beyond.

“I should have known,” Lilly sighed, resting her head in her hand. “But really, Veronica, that’s not why I’m here. So don’t try to distract me with talk of your criminal tendencies, okay? It won’t work.”

Veronica bit back hysterical laughter at the typical response, shaking her head as she struggled to regain her wits. “Lilly, what are you…?”

“Valentine’s Day is coming up. The time for lovers. Do you have a Valentine, Veronica?”

“No,” Veronica answered slowly, eyes wide as Lilly pushed the window open so they could come face to face. “Duncan left.”

“I’m not talking about my brother,” Lilly tsked, waving her hand as if the matter was inconsequential. “Between you and me, girl, that’s been over for awhile, has it not?” At her blank expression, Lilly groaned and added, “You get so attached! You need to start shaking things up once in awhile.”

“I hope you’re not suggesting I run off with a Chippendale dancer,” Veronica replied in a wry tone, referring to one of the many fantasies Lilly had entertained her with during their girlish youth.

“You wouldn’t know how to handle a stripper,” Lilly returned teasingly. “No, I’m talking about someone much closer to home, Veronica. The same person you’re thinking about, although you wish you weren’t.”

Veronica froze, all remnants of a smile slipping from her features as she stared at her best friend. “What?” she asked hollowly.

Lilly let out a beleaguered sigh, studying her nails. “Come on, Veronica. This is me. If you can’t tell your own best friend you’re in love with her ex-boyfriend, who can you tell?”

Her flippant tone both baffled and challenged. Veronica closed her mouth with an audible click and clenched her fingers together at her sides. “Lilly, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Ugh, fine…be difficult and teen-angsty about it, why don’t you?” Lilly paused with dramatic flourish, then, “You. Logan. Together…ringing any bells? Really, I thought you were the smart one.”

“I never—” she cut herself off, unsure of how to proceed. She’d always seen her short-lived yet emotional relationship with Logan Echolls as a betrayal of the worst kind to both Lilly and Duncan. It had made it easier to leave him at the first available chance, to forget everything he made her feel. Things that frightened as well as fascinated.

“Veronica! It’s not like it bothers me,” Lilly rolled her eyes.

Veronica let out a strangled laugh. “Yeah? Tell that to Yolanda.”

“That was different. She wasn’t you, and there was this whole other issue about me being alive and all.” Lilly’s eyes turned reflecting. “I know you think I never cared about him, Veronica, but it’s not true. I just couldn’t care about him the way he needed me to. Hell, we all have our issues and I couldn’t deal with his on top of mine.”

“God, Lilly,” Veronica mumbled, shifting in discomfort.

“We were good for each other when it came to having fun, and the boy does know how to use his hands,” Lilly mused dreamily. “But it never would have worked. You know it, I know it. Logan probably knows it, too. But the two of you make some kind of weird sense that, like, goes beyond understanding.”

“You’re out of your mind.”

“Hey, I’m dead not dumb,” Lilly responded blithely. She shrugged before adding, “I know it bothers the hell out of you to see him with that skanky whore…as if that tan is real.” She studied the pale color of her own skin with mock disgust.

“Because he deserves better,” Veronica answered without thinking, then clapped a hand over her forehead. “That doesn’t mean me, Lilly. Trust me, Logan and I? We can’t stand each other. I’d go so far as to say he hates me now, and the feeling is mutual, okay?”

“Try that line on someone who didn’t see that kiss in the girls’ bathroom last year.” Lilly fanned her face in exaggeration. “You did me proud that day, Veronica Mars.”

Waves of embarrassment washed over her as she thought back to the day her friend was referring to. “Oh, God.”

“Stop being embarrassed!” Lilly laughed in delight. “You should do more things that make you blush like that. You can’t keep all that fun and frivolity bottled up inside forever, Veronica. One day the top is going to blow and you’ll erupt like Mount Vesuvius. It won’t be pretty.”

Her cell phone rang, interrupting whatever response she could have conjured up. Veronica stared at the caller ID in dumb shock. “It’s…”

“Logan?” Lilly sang. “Go talk to him, Veronica. Nobody needs somebody more than the two of you. Think about it, okay?”

*****&&&&&&


She returned that night, fresh with the success of a job well-executed and a pay-off well-earned. She’d waited for the final Mass to take place at St. Mary’s and then had quickly and methodically gone about removing the equipment. It was a blessing to be able to concentrate on something other than the argument she’d had with Logan prior to leaving for the church that night.

He hadn’t been happy with the fact that she’d gone alone that morning to set up. He was never happy with anything she did anymore and she steeled herself against his disappointment and ire, ignoring that sting even as she stung him back with her own words and temper. It had become all too clear what Logan wanted, and it wasn’t her. At least, it wasn’t her the way she was, the way she wanted to be. He wanted someone he could pamper and control. The kind of person Lilly let him believe she was when they’d been together. If Weevil hadn’t been there to mediate, she was almost certain one of them would have left with a black eye or two, and she couldn’t have promised it would have been him. Even as she thought it, she felt guilty. She knew Logan would never hit a woman, and yet…she had the distinct feeling he’d love nothing more than to strangle her silly. Hell, she knew quite a few people who could relate.

“So, we caught him. And I’ll have you know that it was all thanks to my criminal tendencies. You’d be so proud,” Veronica joked, well-aware that she was alone in the church. But somehow, she knew Lilly was listening. “And…I thought about what you said. I did. And I just…I can’t, Lilly. I can’t confront him about that.”

She took a deep breath, forcing herself to continue, even if it was only for her own benefit. “We’re just too…everything,” she continued lamely. “Too alike. Too different. We do nothing but argue and accuse and suspect. It’s too hard to be with Logan.”

She could practically hear Lilly’s scoffing in her mind, and knew exactly what she’d say to her friend if she there at that moment. “Relationships don’t work that way. Sometimes it’s better to take dull and predictable over hot-tempered and…”

What, Veronica? she mused wildly, searching for an appropriate word to describe her complicated relationship with Logan Echolls. “Passionate,” she choked out in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. “I don’t want that, Lilly. I’m not…I’m not like you. I don’t want the thrills, I want the stability.”

You can’t fool me, Veronica Mars. You’re scared to death of him, aren’t you? Of the way he makes you feel. She could hear Lilly retorting in her sly way, tossing her hair as she baited her like a hook. Geez, I’m the one who should be bitching, not you. Nobody ever made me feel that way. And believe me, I tried a lot of bodies.

“You don’t understand,” Veronica denied, shaking her head as she went about removing any evidence of the job she’d done on the confessional. “Logan felt that about you. He’s never really gotten over you, Lilly, and honestly? I’m selfish enough to want more than that. I love you, but I can’t be you. Not for him, not for anyone.”

But you were someone else for Duncan, Lilly challenged cleverly. "You were never as naïve as you pretended to be, Veronica…it was only because you were friends with me...well, anyone would seem pink in comparison." She laughed mischievously and Veronica was hard-pressed to hold back her own smile.

“I miss you, Lilly,” she whispered, fingers closing tightly around the tiny camera as she closed her eyes against the familiar loss. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore.”

Again there was laughter. Darling, that’s half the fun.

“And what’s the other half?” Veronica wondered sarcastically, tucking the camera into her backpack. She glanced at her watch, noting the time with a growing sense of urgency. Confession was over for the day, but there was always the chance of being discovered by an ardent patron looking for divine intervention.

A voice - a very real voice - answered her from across the shaded partition, the drawl as slow and sensual as warm molasses, "Cheap beer and fast women?"

She nearly fell through the door. There was no mistaking the owner of that voice. Twin spots of color burned in her cheeks and she could have sworn she heard the sound of faint laughter echoing in her mind. She grabbed her bag and contemplated making a run for it, wondering if there was any possible way she could avoid the conversation about to take place. All the while, her mind raced with one burning question.

How much had he heard? She didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“Don’t even think about leaving,” Logan hissed, moving his face close to the window as he caught her gaze and held it with narrowed eyes. The shadows obscured all but one half of his face, but it wasn’t hard to discern his anger.

Veronica did the only thing she could do in defense. She got angrier. “Don’t tell me what to do,” she snapped, reaching for the doorknob while calculating the distance from the booth to her car. She got about as far as the second pew before strong fingers closed around her wrist in a vise.

She found herself spun around, disoriented as she looked up to find him towering over her with clenched teeth. Fear mixed with a sudden jolt of anticipation while she gaped up at him. “Logan—”

He silenced her with a single look, dragging them both back into the confessional booth and locking the door. Veronica stared at his profile, obscured in the darkness as he rested his forehead against the wall. When he finally spoke, his voice was quivering with an unreadable emotion.

“What was all that about?”

She sucked in a breath, backing away as he slowly turned to face her. His eyes glittered, features taut with agitation. Her own body was wound tight with nerves. She hated the way he made her feel. She tried for nonchalance, crossing her arms and tossing her hair while inwardly screaming at the top of her lungs. “I-I don’t know what you think you heard—”

“I heard you talking to Lilly. About me.” The words were clipped and succinct, with an edge that Veronica hadn’t heard since, well, her last conversation with Logan Echolls. Abruptly she felt exhausted and disappointed. In both of them.

“Look, I did what you wanted me to do, okay?” she tried for a conciliatory tone, shrugging on her backpack and steeling herself to push past him. “Let’s just leave it at that. We’re…even now.”

“Even?”

“For what you did for me…at the River Styx,” she explained, feeling foolish under his unsettling gaze. “I told you I’d find out who’s trying to frame you for Felix’s murder, and I think I have.”

“You think?”

“Stop repeating everything I say, goddamnit!” she exploded, throwing her bag to the ground as the atmosphere vibrated with tension.

A corner of his mouth lifted into a mocking smile. “Why Veronica, we’re in a church. You should be ashamed.”

She was. She was ashamed of the way she allowed him to penetrate her defenses to the point of making a complete fool out of herself. Now that Duncan was no longer around to act as buffer and security blanket, she felt as if she were a fresh wound, waiting for Logan to come by and pour salt all over her. Acting indifferent to him was an impossibility, and anger no longer seemed to have the desired effect.

“I’m not Catholic,” she blurted out, scowling when he began to chuckle. “What are you doing here, anyway? I thought we were meeting up with Weevil in an hour at Dog Beach.”

Immediately, his features closed off and became unreadable again. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he muttered, shoving a hand through his short ends with a heavy frown.

“Try me.”

He glanced back at her, and she sucked in a breath at the look in his eye. Neither of them spoke for a long moment, and she began to shift uneasily the longer the silence lasted. Finally, he began, “That’s a pretty neat trick. But I’m not going to forget that I asked you first.”

She had to smile at that. “Misdirection 101,” she replied easily. “You’d be surprised how often it works.”

“Not with someone who knows how you operate.”

Her smile faded at the censure in his tone. Somehow he’d moved closer without her realizing it, and she felt closed in and defenseless in the small space. Her back came up against the wall and she flushed at his triumphant expression. He liked the chase, and she was playing the perfect prey.

“Seriously, is this necessary?” she demanded, annoyed. “It was no big deal, all right, Logan? I was just talking to myself…working some things out in my head. It had nothing to do with you.” Maybe if she sounded like she believed it, he would too.

Judging by the incredulous look on his face, that was wishful thinking on her part.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he groused. “I was sitting right there, Veronica. I heard it all. It had everything to do with me, and all the reasons why I’m not good enough for you.” He spat out the last sentence with ill-disguised disgust and hurt.

Her eyes grew wide. “That’s not what—”

“Save it,” he cut her off. “Spare me all of your excuses about Duncan and your fucking true love.” He made sarcastic quotation marks in the air to punctuate his statement. Then, “Just explain one thing to me. How do you think I feel about Lilly?”

She didn’t miss the deliberate use of present tense, and everything inside of her snapped to attention. “I…I’m not sure I know what you mean,” she prevaricated, her heart beating a rapid tattoo against her breast.

“You know exactly what I mean,” he challenged softly. “You said I wasn’t over her. Do you think I want you to be like her?”

Veronica paled. “Oh, God,” she moaned, mortified at having her words thrown back at her, and pained by the almost vulnerable expression coloring his features. “Logan, I…I don’t know. I was just talking to myself, I never meant—”

“Tell me!” he demanded, dropping his hands on her shoulders and pulling her closer. “Look me in the eye while you speak for me.”

His anger sparked her own. “Fine! I think you’re still holding onto memories of Lilly, yes. You claimed to move on,” she mimicked his quoting motions as he simmered next to her, “but you’ve been on a path of self-destruction since she died, Logan. You blame me, you blame yourself. But mostly, you just blame Lilly, right? For not being there for you, for not loving you the way you wanted her to. So you used me to feel closer to her. Only, I can’t be Lilly, Logan. I won’t—”

“Shut up!” he fumed, eyes flashing as he hauled her up to the tips of her toes. “When did I ever ask you to be, Veronica?”

“When didn’t you?” she countered, tears of rage stinging her eyes. “How many times do you think I saw you looking at me while we were together, the way you always looked at her? Or you’d say something to me that you’d only say to her. You were only with me for a connection,” she managed shakily, allowing all of her doubts and fears to come rushing to the surface.

He made a sound of disgust. “Christ, there you go with your damn theories and accusations, when you never stop to think that maybe, just maybe, I was with you because I fucking love you!”

She caught her breath at the frustrated desperation coloring his tone, going stiff in his arms while they stared at one another in silence. He looked as taken aback as she felt, a muscle in his jaw twitching in time with their mingled breathing.

Veronica. Say something, dorkus, a voice whispered in her ear. Tears sprang to life as the faint scent of lilies teased her senses and she choked back a sob as Logan’s eyes widened, his head cocking as if he’d heard something as well.

Determination darkened his eyes and before she knew what was happening, his mouth was on hers and they were both struggling to get closer. It was like having an out-of-body experience as she felt his teeth sink into her lip, his tongue caress her mouth, his hands slip inside her shirt to the curve of her naked back.

Dazedly, she responded in kind; tiny fingers fumbling with the collar of his shirt. She tilted her head, desperate for a better angle as he continued his assault on her mouth. The passion she was so afraid of consumed her in a burst of flame, heating from the inside out as he backed her into the wall and lifted her thighs to wrap around his middle.

The motion dragged forth a surprised moan as he rocked against her, giving evidence to the ardor that engulfed him, as well. She was immediately thrust back into reality, eyes snapping wide and mouth falling open on a labored gasp as his lips moved to her neck.

“I want to be close to you,” he murmured hotly, pressing against her as his tongue traced the sensitive area beneath her ear. “I want to be inside you. Right now, I can’t think of anything I’ve ever wanted besides you.”

His words acted as gasoline on an already raging fire. In the back of her mind, she knew something about the situation was wrong, but nimble fingers began to stroke between her thighs and she lost the ability to judge morality from sin. She panted softly beneath his ministrations, arching against him with reckless abandon.

“Christ, Veronica…”

It was like waking from a long slumber. Drinking that first sip after an extended drought. She felt greedy and alive, possessive to hold onto the only person who had ever brought such emotion from her. Just as eagerly as he, she yanked his shirt over his head, reveling in the mouthwatering sight before her.

Only when cool air hit her breasts did she realize he’d stripped her, as well. None of the initial timidity or uncertainty clouded her as it had with Duncan, only a ripe anticipation to please and be pleased. When his hot mouth latched onto a nipple, she threw her head back and hissed between clenched teeth.

He didn’t allow her to feel inadequate, showering her with devotion as his lips and tongue skimmed across her skin, dragging forth pleasure unlike any she’d ever felt. Anything she’d ever allowed herself to feel.

Denim was tugged down her legs, followed by silk and satin. “Look at me,” he murmured, brushing his palm against the apex of her thighs. When she finally did, he sank two fingers inside of her and they both groaned in acceptance. Logan dropped his head into the crook of her neck, breathing heavily as his thumb drew light circles around her clitoris, fingers working inside.

She came on a torrent of trembling sensation and muffled cries, wrapping her arms tightly around him as he whispered soothing words against her lips. She was shaking from head to toe, dazed by the force of her reaction.

“Veronica.”

“Logan?” she managed in a wondering tone. “What are we…?” All of a sudden, the haze of pleasure evaporated and she went ramrod straight as the repercussions of their actions came down over her like a lead weight. “Oh, my God. We…we just…in a church…”

“It’s okay, I’m not Catholic, either,” Logan whispered.

Her eyes snapped to his, and they stared at one another. “Are you freaking kidding me?” she demanded, voice shrill and mortified. “We practically just mauled one another in a confessional booth, Logan!”

“And if you think it’s the first or last time that’s happened, you’re more naïve than you let on,” he returned, amusement fading from his features as he watched her begin to panic. “Veronica, we need to talk.”

“We need to forget this ever happened,” she hissed, flushing darkly as she eyed her jeans and underwear in a haphazard heap at her feet. “Ohmygod.”

“You asked me why I was here,” he said huskily, disrupting the deafening roar in her head. “Do you really want to know?”

Did she? A part of her did, but another recognized that whatever he was about to say was going to change things for both of them, forever. And fear eclipsed anticipation as she started to shake her head in the negative.

“Lilly told me to come,” he continued, ignoring her protest as he let her slide to the floor. She was startled to realize that she’d forgotten his hold on her, her toes touching the ground again though she stayed rooted in place.

“I know it sounds crazy,” he added, drawing his lower lip between his teeth and staring at some unknown point over her head. “It was, like, a dream or something. I was lying in bed thinking about…” He trailed off pointedly, and Veronica blushed at his clear meaning.

“How nice for you,” she managed, trying to sound unaffected by the idea of him fantasizing about her best friend and the love of his life. God, she had no right to feel betrayed. So, why did she? Why had she always, ever since the feelings between them had gone from friends, to enemies, to something…more?

He studied her for a long moment, then shook his head. “It wasn’t nice, Veronica. It’s never been nice to try and pinpoint the exact reason why you hate me so much. The reason why I still have feelings for someone who thinks I’m barely one step above genital mutilation.”

Before she could even think of a reply, he hurried on. “I was feeling sorry for myself, something I’m sure you’d get a good laugh out of. And then…she was just…there.” His voice took on a faraway hint, his eyes misty with nostalgia. “God, she looked beautiful. Untouchable, until she smiles and you just know she’ll give you anything you want. And I…I felt nothing at all.”

His gaze came back to rest upon her as she waited with bated breath, baffled by the things he was saying. Logan had never been one to wax poetic about anyone or anything, and she was fascinated despite herself.

“I used to think it was impossible to love…to want,” he corrected, “anyone or anything the way I wanted Lilly Kane. I did love her, obsessively. The way every other guy who looks at her loves her. Nothing more, nothing less.”

He paused to lick his lips. “Even when we were together, I’d have moments where I’d wonder what the hell I was doing with her. I knew she didn’t take me seriously, and I knew I was only one of many. But she has a way of making you not care. And then…she was gone, and everything came into focus and I just…”

“Logan, don’t,” Veronica whispered, her heart breaking for the pain she could see him battling against. “You don’t have to explain, all right? Let’s just forget any of this ever happened and—”

“I don’t know what I expected when I saw her again, Veronica,” he admitted hoarsely. “Maybe I wanted an explanation. An excuse. Anything. But like always, Lilly gave me only what she wanted to. She told me...” he trailed off with a broken laugh, rubbing his forehead in consternation. “She told me to stop fucking up and pull my head out of my ass before I lost the one good thing that ever happened to me.”

Veronica surprised herself by giving a watery chuckle. “She told me the same thing.”

A small smile warmed his lips before his expression turned solemn again. “Veronica, listen. I’d never… I know how you feel about Duncan and I’m not trying to downplay that, okay?”

“Duncan’s gone,” she murmured absently, wondering why she’d forgotten how susceptible she was to one sorrowful look from Logan Echolls. As distance had separated them, she’d tried to cover her compassion with bitterness and apathy, but she’d never truly succeeded. He was watching her now as if he half-expected her to banish him from her sight. “If he hadn’t left, would we have stayed together? I don’t know, Logan. I don’t want to play What If anymore.”

He made a sound and she found herself in his arms again, meeting his kisses with enthusiasm, relishing the flavor of promise to come. She didn’t know what the future would bring, but she wouldn’t let the past haunt her. Not anymore.

Look at you, Veronica Mars, Lilly breathed in her ear, voice laced with affection and pride. Take what you want and enjoy it. And for God’s sake, be happy already.

Faint laughter drifted away as she broke from Logan, glancing around the confessional and expecting to find her friend watching them both. They were alone, and yet her scent remained. And then she saw the white flower decorating the mahogany bench.

“Maybe it wasn’t a dream after all,” Logan murmured, and she looked up to find him gazing at the lily. “Maybe it’s all as real as you want it to be.”

“And what do you want it to be?” she asked, suddenly shy and uncertain.

“I think you know,” he replied, brushing her hair back and tucking it gingerly behind both ears. “But I want to hear you say it first. That way you can’t change your mind later and pretend like this never happened and—”

She socked him in the arm, unable to keep from grinning as he broke out into a smile of his own. She opened her mouth to offer him a biting rhetoric, but there was only one thing to be said. “I love you, Logan.” When his attention snapped to her, she added, “I love you, but we’re both going straight to Hell.”

He followed her gaze to the pile of clothing on the floor, and the tension drained from his features as he began to laugh. Resting his forehead against hers, he nodded and repeated, “Yeah. Straight to Hell.”