Thank you Dreaming in Purple for the great banner!!!!
Title: She’s Mine
Author: mmcherron AKA Lissalou72
Rating: MATURE
Couples: M/L
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended I own nothing of Roswell or any of the characters. I will be borrowing the idea on the Destiny Epi and the first season. I will taking some of those ideas and twisting it my way.
Summary: What happens with Max finally stand up for himself and won’t let Liz just run away?
Authors Notes: This is a very old Fic that I had on my computer. I found it and re-wrote some of it and decided to see what all of you thought of it. If it is crap, I apologize for it now. It’s a little bit on the dark side I think I know its not Fluffy so it you are looking for Fluff this isn’t the Fic. I wrote this Fic like 3 years ago. Please be kind in your Feedback if you really don’t like it PM me your feelings. I want to thank Dreaming in Purple for my wonderful banner. I also want to thank Lazza for read it and letting me know how she felt about it and giving it the first look over. Cam my beta for this Fic still has it so when I get it back from her I will repost it. But Lazza my beta for my other fic’s helped me with the flow and gave it the ok thank you girl I would be lost without you. I want to thank all my friends who are always pushing me in my writing even when I think I’m not that great. (Mary, Selena, Cam and Carla are just the few of them love ya all)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Max POV
She is mine…… That’s all I can think about right now. I wish I could get her to realize that we belong together. I understand that she has reservations, I have them too, but I never ran away from her. I’ve always been there for her.
Here she is walking away from me after my mother dropped a bombshell on me. I just found out that I was married in a life time that I don’t remember and the one person that I’m married to is standing here with us, the root to all my trouble with Liz to begin with….Tess.
I thought we had something special. I know I’ve always had a weakness for Liz Parker. I did from the moment I stepped off the bus in third grade. I knew from that second she was someone special to me. Before I even knew what that really meant. I saw her with Maria and Alex, and I was jealous that they got to be her friends. I wanted that, I wanted her. I felt like I should have been able to be that for her.
All through grade school I watched her from afar. I always knew what she was doing, even what her favorite outfit was. I would have done anything to see her smile. The smile that always brightens my day, I love her smile. I hated to see her cry. I remember this one time where Liz fell off the swings and she was crying because she skinned her knee and I wanted to go over there and take all her pain away, to make her smile. But even as a 8 year old I knew I couldn’t do that.
Isabel and Michael hated the fact that I was infatuated with Liz. I really couldn’t describe what I was feeling for her. They were always drilling it into my head about how careful we had to be. We made a pact not to tell anyone about our powers or about us not being completely human. I wanted to tell her almost everyday but I knew that I couldn’t. We never told a soul. It was our huge secret.
I remember that day, that faithful day I had to choose between my secret, or the love of my life. It’s burnt into my memory, and I wish I could forget it. I was sitting in the Crash Down, like always. We were in our booth waiting for our food, and I was watching her, like always. Hoping to get her attention some how.
I really wanted to ask her out, but I knew she was dating the sheriff’s son, Kyle. I still watched her though, because I never trusted him. It almost broke my heart when I found out that she started dating Kyle. So I watched to protect her, from what I really don’t know.
I remember hearing the guys yelling at each other, but everything after that is a blur. I think it happened in slow motion, like in cartoons. I was sitting there looking at her, when I heard the gun go off. Then I heard Maria call out her name. “LIZ!” My whole world stopped in that moment, it felt like the world had stopped and all I could see was a bullet flying thought the air towards her.
My heart was beating so hard I could feel it banging against my ribcage. I jumped out of the booth, pushing past Michael, and ran to her. I knew Michael wanted to stop me but I couldn’t let him. “It’s Liz.”
Michael and Isabel were furious that I saved her, and even more so when I told her about us. They told me that I broke our sacred pact. We were so young when we made that pact. And why was it ok for Isabel to date? I couldn’t even help out the only girl I ever loved? They never even bothered to try to understand my feelings for her. I just couldn’t let her die. I knew our secret was safe with her. I just knew she wouldn’t do anything to hurt us or tell anyone about us.
That was until she told her two best friends about us. She was hiding a secret from the two most important people in her life. I understood her need to tell her friends, and in the end Alex actually saved my life. I used his blood when we got into that car accident. Liz had to tell him. So now that makes it 3 aliens and 3 humans that know about us.
Liz is everything to me. I need to be by her at all times. I could breathe, sleep, eat Liz all day and never get tired of it. You might think that I’m crazy or even a stalker, but she is my soulmate, the only one for me. I know Liz feels the same way. When I healed her, I connected with her. Now I can tell when she is around. I get this tingle on the back of my neck every time she’s around or near me. I love it….I love that feeling she gives me.
I once tried to step away from Liz, it broke my heart to do that to her. At the time, I knew she wanted more but I couldn’t give it to her. I wanted to be what she wanted with all my heart, but I felt that I had to protect her from me. I was scared of what might happen if there were others like us here. What would happen to her? I didn’t know what could happen if we were together.
To see her hurting is the worst for me. I can’t stand to see her cry. I remember the night that her grandmother died. I went to the hospital just to see her. I needed to know that she was ok. I think that was the first time that I realized I couldn’t ever let her go. Being there with her, it made me realize that I had to give us a chance, that she deserved it as much as I did.
Everything was going great until the nightmare came into our lives. Tess… just saying her name gives me the shivers. She is like a rash you can’t scratch. Tess almost destroyed my relationship with Liz. That one night in the rain when I when I kissed Tess, it was like a pull that I couldn’t fight, no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to just die while I was kissing her because my heart and soul wanted Liz and I couldn’t figure out why I was kissing Tess. I wanted to rip my lips off after because when I looked up and saw the way Tess was looking at me like I was supposed know what was going to happen next. All I really wanted to do is take a long and very hot disinfecting shower and scrub every part of me that Tess touched and even then I would still feel dirty.
Then we found out that Tess was like us, that Tess was the fourth alien. We found out that her powers are to mind warp. She made me believe that I had feelings for her. I still can’t grasp what she was thinking by doing that? Did Tess think that I would just stop feeling for Liz just like that? She must not be very bright, because Liz is my true soul mate. I will fight with everything I have to keep her with me.
My worst nightmare happened. I was caught by the FBI, Liz was kidnapped by Nesado, someone who was supposed to be on our side, and all I could think of was how to protect her and the others. Nesado raised Tess. That should have been my first clue. I should have never trusted Tess or Nesado. But in my blindness I thought that we could trust some of our own kind and it nearly got me killed. They helped me get captured by the FBI because I wouldn’t leave Liz, and all of our worst fears came true that night.
I really can’t remember how long I was in there for, but it was pure torture. They did things to me that I can’t even explain, things I don’t want to remember. I just want to forget that I was ever in there. The worst part was when they showed me pictures of everyone that I love dead. I still can’t get that image of Liz dead lying in a pool of her own blood out of my mind. I hope I never have to see her like that. I don’t think I could live through it.
When I saw her that night I wanted to scream at her. She shouldn’t have come there to get me out. She could have gotten hurt. When we jumped off that bridge together it was like sealing the bond that we shared. She would stop at nothing to protect me. We stayed in that little van all night together holding each other, in a way that night she healed me too. I knew that she would keep all the craziness out of my dreams. I never had a nightmare. It was the best rest I’ve had in months.
Here we are standing at the cave. All of us are here to see what’s going to happen with the orbs we found. I wave my hand on the rock and place it on the glowing hand, and the door opens.
Here I am looking at my real mother in this hologram, and I’m in shock. I don’t think I’m hearing all of this correctly. I thought I just heard my mom tell me that I’m a king… a dead king… Isabel is a princess… Michael is my second in command… so that’s were his attitude comes from. Tess is my bride… What?! No way… I don’t love Tess, I love Liz… I stopped listening after that. I look over at Liz and I see the sadness in her eyes. It almost like she has given up on me.
I see Liz starting to walk out of the cave… “Liz wait! Please, I need to talk to you.”
“No, Max. You heard your Mom. You have a destiny. I can’t get in the way of that. Max you have a… a wife… It’s… It’s… T… T… Tess. How am I suppose to compete with that?” she asks?
“Liz it’s always been you. You know that I can never love Tess. I love you, only you. I will never let you go. I can’t… You’re my other half. You’re my soul mate… I can’t be me with out you… Please, don’t go!”
“Max please,” she pleaded. “I love you, but you need to follow your destiny. You were sent here for a reason. It’s not me Max… I can’t… can’t… do this right now.” She started to walk away from me into the desert.
I stop her from leaving me. “Liz… Liz, I will never let you go. I love you. You are my soul mate. I won’t let you give up on us. Don’t run from me.”
Liz POV
“Maria, please take me home now, before Max makes it down here.” I plead with tears in my eyes.
“Ok…..Chica are you alright?” Maria asked.
“No……I don’t think I will ever be alright again.” Will I ever be alright again. Maria starts the car and I look out the window with sorrow.
Why do I have to give him up? How am I supposed to just turn away from him? It’s not fair. I can’t live without him. I wouldn’t be alive. I’d just be a body going through the motions, because I would have no soul. My life wouldn’t be worth living.
I remember when he first connected with me in the Crash Down. I could feel all his love pouring out of him. I know that I shared part of my soul that night. I was so scared because I had all these feelings that I couldn’t explain. I remember showing him the mark that he left on my stomach and the look on his face was surprising. It’s like he couldn’t believe he did that to me.
I remember him telling me that he was different, little did I know how different he really was. But I still wasn’t scared that he was from another place…that he was a alien. He knew things about me that no one knew. When Max tried to show me a part of him I knew that I was a gone. I never knew that Max was always watching me and keeping an eye out for me. You would think that I would be screaming STALKER but he was always worried about me and my happiness.
When Max showed me his inner self I knew that I have to be with him. I knew that my heart belonged to him. We had this special connection that goes beyond words. When we finally got together there was nothing that could get in our way. I knew that night we kissed for the first time that he was the one for me. He was the only man I could love, the only one I would ever love or be with.
I remember when I had to tell Maria about them, she went running out of the house screaming her head off. But in the end she has always been by my side no matter what. She may have bitched and complained the whole time but she’s in it for the long run. I also know that her heart belongs to a certain alien she like to call “Space boy”.
Alex he’s my other best friend and I hated having to lie to him. I remember asking him for his blood for Max after we got into an accident the doctors took his blood and I knew that it was different. I remember him telling me I had to choose and it was the hardest thing for me to do not telling him but it wasn’t my secret to tell. The night I told Alex was the night we went to jail and I knew he’d had enough and just wanted the truth and I knew in my heart that Alex won’t do or say anything. That is how we got to be 3 aliens and 3 humans. That is until the other came here…Tess Harding….the 4th alien.
I’m sitting here looking out the window wishing that I could disappear. I don’t think I could face him again without wanting to hold and kiss him. How can I just hand him over to Tess without wanting to kill her? Why did she ever have to come to town? We were doing just fine without her.
I know I should be happy for him. I hate saying that because I’m breaking my heart, it feels like I’m stabbing 100 knives into my heart. I should be happy for all of them, right? I really want to say that about us. I know we are not aliens but we’re part of this too. I mean come on I jumped off a bridge for him. I loved him and if I had to do it again I would in a heart beat. Does that make me stupid? Is it stupid to love him that much?
Max makes me feel things I never knew I would. How can I love him so much and hate him all at the same time? I know I’m only a teenager but my heart tells me that Max is it. Maybe I should run away? I know for a fact that I would die if I see them together.
Max POV
“No!” I screamed and took off running after Liz. By the time I got to the bottom of the hill I was crazy with anger. How the hell could she leave me?! After all we have been through. She must be out of her mind to think that I would just let her leave me.
When I get to the road, she's already gone. I go to the Jeep and yell at everyone to hop in now or get left behind. All I could think was, I have to reach her. Why would she give up on me, on us so easily? It hurt so much to see her leave.
I’m sitting here looking up into the sky hoping that I’ll find some knowledge on what to do. How could I let her walk away like this? That will never happen again, I don’t care what she said. I need her. Liz put a spell on me, and my heart belongs to her.
I look in the mirror and see Tess staring at me. “Michael here I need you to drive,” I say pulling over.
“Isabel you sit in the front please. I need to talk to Tess.” I say not really giving them a choice.
I climb in the back with Tess. Making sure to keep my distance. “I really need to talk to you, Tess. I just want you to understand where I stand here. OK? I need you to not freak out before I finish what I need to tell you.”
“You deserve someone that is in love with you. I can’t give you that kind of love. Before you say anything you are still our family but you have to understand that I gave away my heart long before you came here. I gave it away before I even knew I could. It’s always been Liz. You will always have all of us here for you, but I can’t say to you that I will ever love you.
“Tess, I’m not saying all of this to be mean to you. I think you are very pretty and smart. And I know that one day someone out there is going to love you the way I love Liz.”
“Remember you are part of our group. In our group there are humans too. Everyone has a special place here. No one is better, we’re all equal. I found out a long time ago that as a team we’re better and now you are part of that team.”
“I will not have you or anyone else in this team be disrespectful towards each other. I know we’ve all have said things that we didn’t mean, and we all need to stick together now.”
"Max, why can't you love me the way you love her?” she says after looking at me for a long time. “I'm willing to try and change for you. But all I’ve ever known was that you were supposed to be with me. It’s going to be hard to let go of that, but I'm willing to try, for you.”
The rest of the drive home was done in silence, thank god. This little talk with Tess wasn’t so bad. I’m angry with Liz right now. I still can’t believe that she would just walk away, I need her in my life. She is going to talk to me tomorrow even if I have to camp out in front of her house to do it. She is not going to know what hit her.
I need a shower and some sleep, maybe then I can figure out a way to get her back. But I really don’t know if I can sleep right now.
After dropping everyone off, I jump in the shower. I think I took the longest shower in history. I don’t think I scrubbed hard enough. I can still feel Agent Pierce’s hands on my skin. I don’t think I will ever get that feeling off me, out of my mind.
After the shower I jump into bed. I don’t think I can sleep even though my whole body is screaming to go to sleep. I’m afraid of what might meet me in my dreams. I just don’t want to dream of that place. I want to be with Liz, I know that’s what my heart is telling me.
I roll over to look at the clock on my table and see that its 4:30am. Ok that’s enough time for her to sleep. I jump up and pull up my jeans and put on a shirt. I’m out the window in a flash. All my mind can think of is Liz and how did she sleep. I couldn’t sleep, and I know that I gave her some flashes of what they did to me. I hope she’s ok…
Liz POV
Why can’t I get him out of my mind? I need to think of something, anything else. What I really need is a long hot bath. Maybe a long soak will make it easier to forget all of this pain that I’m feeling right now.
I jump in the bathtub filled up with all kinds of aromas therapies that Maria would be proud of. I need to escape from all of my feelings. I feel like I’m suffocating, that I’m trying to get a hold of all of my emotions but I can’t. I start thinking about everything we have been through. I now know that he belongs to another woman and it’s killing me slowly.
I can feel all the pain that Max went through in that horrible place. I know he didn’t mean for me to see and feel all of that stuff but when we kissed in the van after jumping off that bridge we must have done something because it was never this strong before. I think our connection is getting stronger and that scares me because what am I supposed to do without him now?
I could feel all the pain that Agent Pierce put him through. He even told him that he would kill me if he didn’t tell him how to work the orbs. He showed him a picture of me lying in a pool of me own blood, Agent Pierce is a monster. I hope to be able to kill that asshole for doing that to Max. I always knew I would be Max’s weak spot. I hope he can forgive me for getting him stuck with Agent Pierce. I really didn’t know that Max was really Nesado. I kissed him; I actually touched his tongue with mine. Ewwww, gross I think I’m going to be sick…
Can I please get a new tongue and lips…I’m trying to fight back the sobs now as I realize that this was entirely my fault. I kissed another man that wasn’t Max too. How am I supposed to tell him that another Max kissed me? I feel so guilty over something that I have no control over.
I know I should feel no remorse but now I even feel guiltier because I left him there up on that cliff. I hope I did the right thing. Max needs to be with Tess his mother said so, that she’s his bride.
No…I am supposed to be his wife I know it, I can feel it deep down in my soul. I just wish I could even do something about it. I hate this hopeless feeling that I have about Tess. I hate thinking that Max will forget about me and love Tess. It just makes my whole body hurt right down into my soul. Soaking in the tub has helped a bit with the sore muscles I just wish there was something to do about all the pain in my heart because that is where it hurts the most. I wonder what he’s doing now.
I know I should have stayed up there and fought for Max but I didn’t want him to regret being with me after a few years. I don’t want to hold him back. What would happen after he found out that he remembered Tess and that he loved her more then me. I can’t take that chance with my heart breaking watching him love her and not me. Look at Tess and she’s perfect. She has a body that you can only dream of, with beautiful crystal blue eyes. She even has the perfect blonde curly hair that never falls out of place. I’m nothing like that. I’m just as plain as day with a flat chest. I’m the type that would seem to be over looked. I blend in well.
He is probably kissing Tess goodnight. Oh shit now I did it. I can really feel the tears now. I just need to scream. I can’t do this.. “Ahhhhhh I hate you Max for taking my soul……”
Shit that didn’t help any. I’m so hopeless. I need to get out I’m starting to look like a prune. I get out and pick the most comfortable tank top and boxer bottoms I can find. I need to try and relax and maybe try and sleep.
I’m looking at the stars outside on my lounge chair that I have on my balcony. I feel a different feeling now looking up into the sky full of star and planets. I can’t look back now. He has a destiny that has someone else in his life that is not me. I hope I’m strong enough to leave to Florida tomorrow. I think it is going to be harder then I think. I’m leaving a part of me, a part of my soul, I will never be complete again which is why I have to leave because I know I can’t watch them together. I would want Max for myself and that isn’t right for him. Max needs to focus on his destiny.
I feel my eyes getting heavy. I’m trying my hardest to fight it. I don’t want to see all of my nightmares come to life in my sleep. My last thought was of Max’s lips on mine and then sleep took over me.
Oh yes this is great I thought as Max was kissing me. I hope he will never stop. “ Ummmm Liz..I…I …kinda need to tell you something.” Max stated between kisses.
“Yes what is it?”
“I have to go back to Antar tonight. I had to tell you that I decided to try things out with Tess after all. I hope you understand.” Max looked at me with these eyes of his begging me to understand him.
“Like hell you are Max are you crazy?” What about me and everyone here?” I asked.
“You are really a stupid human. Tess was right all along about all of you. I can’t wait to see where all of this goes with her. I feel so alive when she with me. It like we really were made for each other.” Max commented.
“You really are going to leave me aren’t you? I really thought we had something special but I guess I was wrong after all. If you feel like you need to be with a slutty whore then go right ahead and leave. I never really knew you like I thought I did. I hope you will be happy with your life back at home.” I say with venom in my voice.
I’m standing here with Maria and Michael watching them taking off in their space ship heading to Antar. I scream at the top of my lungs “Max, how can you do this to me?”
I can hear someone calling my name ….I wonder who is calling me?........I open my eyes to see Max leaning over me with his pretty eyes staring back at me.
“Max, what are you doing here?” I look around and noticed that I was still outside laying on my chair. Shit I must of fallen asleep out here. So I guess that was a dream and Max is still here. I jump into his arms and give him a big hug. Now I really couldn’t stop the tears even if I tried too. All I am thinking to myself is I love you please don’t leave me……
Max POV
All I can think of is how much I just want to see Liz as I claim up her ladder. As I swing my legs over, I see her right away. Her hair was spilled out onto the pillow. She looked just like an angel. My heart was skipping beats while I looked at her. I never want to leave her. I know she is for me.
As I move closer I hear her saying something put I really can’t make it out. I know I need to tell her how I really feel. I can’t let her leave me. I can’t let her believe that Tess is the one for me. I just hope that I can get through to her this time…….”Liz…….Liz” She opens her eyes and stares at me in confusion. All of a sudden she is jumping in my arms crying.
I can’t stand to see her crying like this. I am rubbing her back trying to clam her down but it’s not working. Please god, just make her stop it’s breaking my heart into a billion pieces to hear her so upset. Here I was mad that she walked away from me, I had a plan all ready to yell at her. I bet she planned this. To make me feel bad that my mother told me that I had a wife in another life time, like I knew she was going to say that. Please I don’t know Tess and I don’t want to know her or be with her like that.
“Liz please can we just talk. I know it’s really early but I had to see you. I couldn’t sleep. I need you to understand a few things. I wanted to tell you before you ran away again.”
“Max I don’t want to talk about this; you have a life, a destiny that doesn’t include me. You have a wife, someone else that you are supposed to be married to. How can I stand in your way?” Liz looked up at me with pleading eyes.
“I told you that I really don’t care about destiny. I don’t want Tess, cant you just listen to me for once.” I get up and starts to walk around. I can’t believe I have to talk to her about this shit. I can feel my anger build up.
“Now, just wait a fucken minute. I just told you that destiny and Tess doesn’t mean shit to me and you take off running. What the hell are you running from? Huh, please tell me because I really don’t understand what is happening. How can you leave me? I thought we meant something? Stop acting like you are the only one here who is hurting. We’ve all been through shit the last few days. We need to stick together with what ever happens now. I need you. And I thought you needed me too.” I look at her, is what I’m saying getting through to her?
“Do you love me Liz? Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me anymore. I will let you go. I won’t stop you from leaving. Go ahead and tell me that. We have a connection Liz you can’t lie to me. I know you. I know every feeling sad, happy…….love. You are fooling yourself if you think that you can walk away and stop feeling this.”
“Max…….Please…..I….I can’t tell you that.” Liz cried. She dropped to her knees crying. “I can’t take this any more.”
I now know in my heart that she doesn’t want me to leave. I know that she just trying to do the right thing, but she’s wrong this time. …
“Liz please just listen to me because I’m only telling you this once and if you tell me to leave then I will never bother you again ok….. I love you. Did you hear me, Liz? I love you. I have always loved you. I’ve already talked to Tess about this. We agreed to be friends. She knows that I love you and have always loved you. She is never going to stand in our way.”
I lean down and touch her lips with mine as I try to show her just how much she means to me…I think I might have gotten thru to her because I don’t feel her pulling away from me. I feel her pulling me closer to her. I can feel our connection opening up and getting stronger. I think she has finally let me in…….
I once again feel whole like maybe all of this has some sort of balance because I felt so off without Liz by my side. It was like something was missing and that something was called Elizabeth Parker. Now we just need to figure out where to go from here because we all need to work together. My life isn’t anything without Liz and I will be damned if I let her tell me different because I know how she feels about me and all of this. My soul feels whole for the first time since I healed Liz. Now I know that I did something to Liz that day I healed her. I hope that we can figure out how to get this all smoothed out because I will never leave her side again….
“Max, I’m scared, why is it that I can feel everything you can?” She looks at me with those eyes so full of trust.
“I’m not sure Liz but we can figure this out together. I know that we can all work together in this to figure it out but we have to be honest with each other and work on this. I know that maybe Tess can answer some of these questions.”
“Do you think we can trust her to tell us the truth after everything that she did? Because I might have a hard time doing that Max. She tricked you into kissing her. Don’t you think that is wrong?” I could here the pain in Liz’s voice as she said that I knew that Liz was still hurting about that and I really can’t blame her.
“I think I can at least give her a chance to explain more about everything. She’s been in touch with her alien side and was taught how to use her powers. She told me that all she ever knew was that we were supposed to be together and she just wanted that. She was jealous of you.”
“R..Right Max, Tess jealous of me? That’s funny because I’m more jealous of her and her perfect-ness. But I’ll give it a try because that doesn’t mean I have to like it. But I want to believe that she has a human side in her somehow.”
“Thank you Liz”
“Can you stay here tonight I can’t go to sleep without nightmares and I’m scared that this might all be a dream and I will wake up alone.” Could she be more heartbreaking, I hate seeing her like this.
“Yes as long as you promise to sleep.”
I watch her get up and grab my hand and lead me into her room through her window. I watch her as she locks the door and jumps into her bed patting the spot next to her. Like I could deny her anything, we quickly get comfortable. I feel her snuggling into me more. I wrap my arms around her trying to protect her from all those dreams as my eyes start to feel heavy. I feel like this will be the first time in a long time that I will be able to sleep without my demons following me. I could get used to this. Liz….She is my everything…..my life, my heart, my soul. For the first time in my life I finally feel complete.
The End…..
