Roswell Fanatics

Ok so i'm starting another one and i am going to update "Just Call Me" tres tres soon!

so umm i hope you enjoy

PS: If anyone knows how to make banners and would want to make one for me?? pm please

Title: Understanding Love
Author: Me, or you can call me Jess
Rating: it’s going to get a little hot at times, so to be safe ADULT
Summary: Max loves Liz, Liz loves Max… But Max doesn’t believe in love and loves sex. What happens when Liz says enough is enough…

Disclaimer: I thought of this myself, if the title is already used i'll change it, characters aren’t mine credit goes to those who need it.

Part 1
*Breaking her heart*

[i]He we are, nothing but honestly
I’ve had enough; I’m not going to stay[/i]

The song filled my head as I drove towards my soon to be boyfriends house, see the story is that my soon to be ex Max is blinded. I mean I love him more than he will ever know, and when we first started dating he told me that no matter what he would never love me back. Max believes that there is no such thing as love, that love is just a misread emotion that is actually lust. So here lies my problem, I love the never loving man and I have decided for the sake of my future life I’m not going to keep trying to make this high school romance work. Yes, I’m a senior as of tomorrow… the first day of school, I know this is the worse timing for a break up but I mean it took me all summer to convince myself I needed this. Michael, my best friend told me today that by staying with Max would just be setting myself up for disappointment, he brought up the whole Pam, Tiffany, Sophia, Abigail, Tessa, Amber, Joy, Jessica, Megan, Noelle memories. Those are the girls I know of that he has slept with in the time we have been together, now I see the looks on your face but really I did it to myself. It hurt knowing he was fucking women left and right, but as long as he was my Max with me I couldn’t force him to change, or whatever you might think I’m acting passive or something but I’m taking a stand now…does that count?

[i]Boy you called me Cinderella, boy all you’d have to do is yell
And I’d be there for you
I’m sorry for running away like this
I’m sorry I’ve already made my wish
Cinderella has got to go[/i]

I pulled into the long driveway, up to a white mansion; pulling around the fountain I parked my car. I saw barely any lights in the house but that didn’t phase the Evan’s have the biggest house in all of New Mexico, they are beyond loaded. My knee length white flowing skirt blows in the wind lightly; it’s a warm air though it still sends shivers down my back. I hug my ¾ length sleeve jean jacket around my body tighter, looking at the house once more before my eyes fall to the ground, I walk to the door. I can feel the tears already begin to sting my eyes, the door swings open softly and I look up at James, the gardener’s son he helps the Evans around the house for pocket change sometimes. He looks scared for a second then recovers himself, “Ms. Liz? How are you today?” He asks honestly pulling the door open letting me past into the house.

I laugh lightly, letting a couple tears slip, “I’ve been better James” I reply honestly, James is 20 and almost as gorgeous as Max. His family is very rich as well; they weren’t always though till James’s father started his flower business that went worldwide that’s why James is so grounded. His dad is 55 now and is going to leave the business to James, the only reason his father works here is because the families are friends and John loves to garden.

“You look sad, Ms. Liz” He says closing the door, I wipe my face and stand tall.
“Ms. Liz eh? I like it, so James have you seen Max tonight?” I see James face drop, he looks towards the stairs then back to me.
“Yes, actually I think he is in the shower though, how bout you go to the living room and I go check” Before I can answer James is off.
Jokingly I yell to his back, “You just want to see Max NAKED!”
I laugh to myself and walk into the joining room and take a seat on the red leather couch. As quickly as he left, James is back

“Well Max is out but he’ll be down in a minute, so yeah”
“You’re acting weird James” I state. Crossing my hands over my chest, pretending to be upset.

“What are you talking about? Me weird, never…you weird, yeah well always”
“HEY!” I say playfully, James takes a seat next to me watching the stairs he asks, “What brings you here this late”
“I’m breaking up with Max”
Silence
“James? You alright?” James looks a little pale
“Yeah sure sure” He says shaking his head quickly.
“Well I guess this is a personal conversation I wouldn’t want to intrude…” James stands to leave. I reach for his arm, and grab it.
“Even if Max doesn’t want to be friends or whatever, I want us to be friends still, please?”
“Sure Ms. Liz” he says with a wink before leaving.
I wait for another second, I hear Max as he comes down the stairs. He has a towel around his waist, just like you would when you just get out of the shower. But then I realize something, his hairs not wet, he’s sweaty and slightly panting….

“ASSHOLE” I say before I can control myself, Max looks shock I am never anything but nice and innocent to him.
“What? Liz, what’s the matter, did we have a date, I thought you were working till 11?” He says looking at me, his eyes look sad but I don’t care.
“Max, no we didn’t have a date tonight, and I didn’t work, I was with Michael”
“Ok, well then why am I an asshole again” Max says coming over to me, he reaches his arms out to pull me in but I pull away as if his hands are fire.
“Liz?” his voice pleads for an answer to why I’m acting so strange.
“Max I’ve thought a lot -----“
“Maxie Bear!!! When are you going to stop talking to James and come back and fuck me?” Yells a voice from the top of the stairs. I stand in shock, and so does Max he looks at me before yelling.
“I’ll be there in a second” ASSHOLE must remain calm must remain calm…
I can’t help but cry, I love him… “Max it’s over, for real this time”
“What Liz?”
“You heard me”
“Is this because of her” He says pointing upstairs, I shake my head no.
“Then what, Liz you said you didn’t care that I once in a while might sleep with someone else, I mean it’s not like we were”-SLAP- that’s me, I just slapped Max across the face and in this house it really echoes.
“No Max, I don’t give a shit what little slut you have in your bed, but my heart does for some strange reason I fell in love with you! I couldn’t help it, and time after time I let you trample me because I loved you, but NOOOOOO not this time! Michael and Maria both tried to tell my over an over again that I was digging my hole deeper. I finally told myself I wasn’t going to let myself be hurt like this anymore …it’s fucking over” I walk around Max, and towards the door. Max is just standing there in shock, or not I don’t really know he walks to the bottom of the stairs and watches me leave. I reach for the doorknob, and another hand gets it first.
“Let me, Ms. Liz” James says pulling the door open, he smiles at me with pitty, and I walk outside and break down. I hear Max run up the stairs, and begin to cry harder, then I hear James step onto the porch.
“Hey Liz, you shouldn’t drive I’ll take you to my house or Michael’s and we can come get your car tomorrow”, not caring anymore I nod yes. James leads me to his car opening the door for me; I slide into the passenger seat. I look up and see Max’s light is now on, I see the figure of a woman in the curtain and then I see another figure grab the woman and fling her towards what I suppose to be the bed. I cant fucking believe it..


---

TBC?? so ya be honest, good bad suck?

so i decided not to do homework thats way late and instead write this part hahaha!

Chapter 2
*Making it real*


I went back to James house he borrowed some clothes from his sister for me to wear to bed; he leads me into a guest room. Neither of us spoke to each other, I could tell he was dying to know something, I felt guilty for putting him out like this so I did, I told him everything.
“Wow”, that’s all he had to say, he stood up from the bed and said goodnight.

I don’t really feel like sleeping but at the same time I do, I don’t know. God I can’t even pick whether or not to sleep? How pathetic can I get, SHIT I forgot to call Maria. Reaching for my cell I pressed in her number, it was 12:30 she probably wouldn’t be up.

“Liz where are you!!” Maria’s voice booms through the tiny ear piece, oops guess she didn’t go to bed yet.
“I’m at James Mac’s” I say quickly, pulling the covers around me I lay back on the bed.
“Why? What, James? Liz did you go see Max, how’d you get there”
“Maria breathe”
“Sorry, so please I’m a little confused...”
“Well I went to Max’s like you told me and I was ready to break it off…” I told her about the other girl and James offering to take me to get my car tomorrow.
“Ok, well you are safe right?”
“Of course”
“Well Liz I’ll drop off some clothes for you to wear to school tomorrow, and we can drive to Max’s and get your car and go to school, or would you want to get your car after school”
“After, Max probably has football something to do then, so it’ll be less likely to run into him”
“Good thinking there captain” I felt like laughing but my body disagrees...
“Well Maria, bring something half decent…please!”
“Sheesh, who do you think I am? I’m Maria here not Michael so girl please I got you covered!” That’s a very good point.
“Ok well I better get some sleep, so night Ria”
“Night chica”

I flipped my phone closed; I threw it to the floor, lying there in the bed my eyes got heavier. I started to think about Max and suddenly everything was so complicated and I began to panic. I mean all my friends were Max’s friends, what kind of position had I put my friends in; I had been so selfish…breathe, I told myself it’s already 1:45.
I finally closed my eyes and tried to sleep but then I heard the sounds of Britney Spears ‘Born to make you happy’ fill the room, and a little green light filled the room. Damn cell phone… flipping it open without looking I answered it
“What? Do you want now Maria, I’m safe I swear!”
“Liz?” hey wait I know that voice, and it’s not Maria’s
“James?”
“Yeah sorry to call so late but I was thinking, don’t you have school tomorrow?”
“James you woke me up at almost 2 am because you think I have school”
“Oh, I’m sorry…”
“It’s ok, but yeah I have school, Maria’s bringing me clothes in the morning and she’ll take me to school, so no worries about me”
“Ok good… that works”
“Anything else James?” his voice if quite comforting actually but I’m just cranky cause I haven’t slept much.
“No, that’s it”
“Night James”
“Night Liz”

This time I put the phone next to me because getting out of the bed was not happening till 7 this time.

“I was born to make you happy…”
Not again, picking up the phone I answer it much against my will…
“James I thought we decided I need to sleep because of school?”
“Where are you Liz?!” Comes a half angry half upset voice…
“Leave me alone Max, we can still be friends but don’t try to say we should get back together”
“Why would I say that?” ASSHOLE
“Fuck you Max Fuck you” Click

I got out of my bed, I was angry Max didn’t want me back. That was how it’s supposed to happen right!! Guy loves girl but doesn’t know it, girl breaks up with said guy and guy realizes he loved said girl?! Was that NOT how it was supposed to happen? Feeling more upset I walked quietly through the halls and found the room I guessed to be James’s. Opening the door I can barely see anything, but I make out what seems to be a bed, and yes, a body. So I poke it...
“Psssst, James, are you awake? James, are you sleeping!” He finally stirs, he rubs his eyes obviously can’t see anything because well it’s dark.
“Liz?” I nod my head, wait what!
“Yeah, it’s me” yeah that works much better, I watch as James moves back so that I can have some room. I slide in next to him, don’t get me wrong I’m not planning on jumping his bones or anything, he’s just a friend.
“I hate Max”, I hate him for never loving me, I hate him for letting me fall in love with him, and Max sucks. James slides one arm under my head and lays one across my waist; I tuck into him and cry. I feel James rub my back, it’s comforting and before I know I’m asleep…


“Liz…it’s time to get up” A soft voice wakes me, James?
“James?” I look around to find I’m in an unknown bed, with no one in the room.
Maybe I’m going crazy because I swear to god I heard something say my name.
“Liz…” There it is again
“Liz??” The voice sounds like it’s behind me, I look over my shoulder towards the voice and I find a little white box with names on it. One says answer so I press it...
“James?” BEEP
“Hey your awake, good I was beginning to think you were dead”
“So what’s this crazy box of magic called” I say playing with some of the other buttons, before I have a chance to press the button that says M/D, James answers.
“It’s a intercom system, its connects all the rooms in the house”
“What’s M/D?”
“My mom and dad” AHH, I almost called his parent’s freeeeaky.
“Well Liz, its 6:30 so If you want head to the door on the left side of the room, that’s the shower, when you get out I’ll have breakfast ready for you”
“Sounds great...”
“Ok talk to you later”
“Bye”


The shower felt great, now I felt cleaned and refreshed and ready to face anything, except well Max. In the shower I shaved my legs with an extra razor James had and now my legs are like wicked smooth, just feel! Well to bad you cant cause let me tell you, I am buying some of these babies for myself later. Pulling on the TV and shorts I walked out into the hall and ran into Isabel, “Oh hey sorry I wasn’t paying attention”.
“Oh no problem Liz, sorry about the whole Max thing…” Isabel is James sister she’s one of my friends. I pull her into a hug and tell her I’m fine it’s just something that’s going to make me stronger. She smiles and tells me she has to get ready for school and walks down the other way towards her bathroom. I walk downstairs to the kitchen and I see James sitting at a long wooden table reading a newspaper. The table is covered with waffles and pancakes, eggs and bacon, sausages and strawberries, and juices of all kinds.
“Wow, you really out did yourself” I say sitting down in front of James and the giant breakfast.
“Well I had a little help from, Linda and Marcella the cooks” James blushed and put his paper down. In this light James looked good, his brown hair ruffled from sleep and his green eyes soft and gentle. He grabbed two plates and passed one to me, “Eat up, it’s going to be a long day”, when he says that I sigh.

“I decided that, even if I loved Max I can’t let this bring me down, for my friends. It would make them all feel awkward and I don’t want that, then to have us all hate hanging out because they don’t want Max and I to start fighting or some shit like that”

James nods,”I see what you mean, but Liz you can’t throw away your feelings”
“I’m going to try, I’m going to erase the part of me that loved him, and I’m going to pretend it never happened…”
“Ok”
We both ate our breakfast in silence, neither of us had anything to say to the other, but none of us were upset either.
DING- the doorbell made me jump, James laughed as he went to get it.
“James MY MAN!” Yelled Kyle as he walked into the house, when he saw me his eyes widened.
“Evans will so kill you if he knew his girl was cheating on him with you”
“Evans wouldn’t cause Evans and I are done, and don’t think I don’t know about the other girls…Kyle” Kyle blushed and hit my shoulder.
“I knew I liked you Parker” he said laughing, “Nice breakfast dude!” taking a seat at the table Kyle helped himself to the food. James started to shut the door when a hand stopped him…
“James” in walked Max, ok so this is my heart –beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep- yeah, is it too late to run?
“Hey Max, what are you doing here?” James tries to sound nice but I can hear the anger in his voice, I hope Max did too. But however Max ignores James and walks straight to me, “We need to talk…” I don’t move, “Now please?”
“I’m having breakfast” I say waving my hand over the food, “see”, Max looks pissed but I can’t help but smile. I’m such a bitch 

“Liz does not be like this” He says and there is something in his voice that I can’t quite recognize.
“Like what Max? Care to enlighten me” I say curtly, I can take whatever he has to bring, cause you know what I don’t care.
“Liz...” he sounds angry now, ha good. Max reaches to grab for my arm but I pull out of his reach, I don’t think so.

“Doesn’t fucking touch me” I say with pure fear and disgust in my voice, I see some hurt in Max’s face but it goes away quick. Just about as quick as it takes for him to reach for me and actually get my arm. He holds it tightly and I try to wiggle form his grasp.

“Let go, dude” says Kyle, “SHUT THE HELL UP” Max yells at Kyle, Kyle sits back quietly, thanks a lot Kyle!
Max is much stronger than I, so pulling me to my feet is nothing to him but to me it’s nothing but pain.
“Ouch, god Max stop” I plead, his hands tighten around my other arm and I feel my heart beats quicker. I am really scared now, why won’t anyone help…
“Max fucking let go of her, now!” I hear James say into Max’s face; James is right next to him holding his arm. I feel the pressure release on one arm and I see James fall backwards, holding his nose.
“Max! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” I scream, tears began to pour from my eyes as a feel his hands grip harder.
“Liz your coming with me..” before I can say no, I feel myself being dragged by him. We get about as far as the door then something happens and I can’t breathe, my chest starts getting really heavy. I hear Max yelling to stop fighting, and then I hear him panic, why is he panicking? Someone please help.. I can’t seem to find the air right…Max why did you have to go and make me panic…


---

OK OK I know this seems bad but trust me there more to it..

TBC??

Part 3
*Trusting Yourself*

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is white panels, I glance around the room and realize I’m in a hospital.
“What the hell” I say out loud as I sit up in the bed; -ouch- I wince at the small pain in my chest. Pulling the heart monitor off, I listen as it slowly beeps down into a long continuing beep. Then BAM nurses and doctors flood into the room panic gracing their features, most stand in shock and relief to see me staring at them.
“Ms. Parker your awake now” One doctor says coming to my bed side, he looks new or well younger than the average doctor. He’s actually very cute...
“Why am I here?” I ask softly, I watch as most the nurses and others leave and it’s just me and this doctor and a nurse who plays with my hanging I.V bag.
“You don’t remember?” He asks raising an eyebrow, I shake my head and I can feel tears starting to form, why can’t I remember. I remember taking off the day to talk with Michael and Maria about…. Max! That’s right, because you see Max is my boyfriend and he says he won’t ever love anyone. It’s not his thing, and well it is my thing because I love him actually, even though he has cheated on me numerous times, I can’t hold something against him he told me would happen. I can tell you about that later though; first off I got to find out what’s wrong with me.

“Can you tell me what the last thing you remember is?” the doctor asks while taking his stethoscope out and placing it on my chest.

“I remember taking today off to see some friends…and then its all kind of fuzzy” I flinch at the coldness of the stethoscope as the doc places it on my skin.

“What day was that?” What kind of question is that?
“Today… like I said” umm, this guy needs to go back to med school…
“What day is today” the doc takes a step back and crosses his arms politely over his chest.
“Today, Sunday”
“Liz, today is Wednesday you’ve been unconscious for 3 days”
“WHAT!” he can’t be serious, what the hell happened?
“Ms. Parker, calm down-“
“NO, I WILL NOT! I want to know what the hell happen” the doctor looks to the nurse and she gives him a knowing look before leaving.
“Well Ms.-“
“Call me Liz please?”
“Liz, well it seems you had a very bad panic attack that caused your body to go into overdrive” Panic attack? From what I mean I didn’t do anything, Michael and Maria must have been there. I bet they are the ones who brought me in; I must have freaked out about the whole Max thing, see! I knew he was bad for my health-
“Liz?”
“Oh, yeah sorry, I have one question though”
“Yes?”
“Who brought me in; I mean the hospital you know…” I sound cool, the doctor picks up a folder and flips to a page and reads off, “A James Mac and Kyle Valenti”.
“That makes no sense!” I yell in frustration, slamming my hands into the bed I yell to the doctor. “I WANT THEM HERE NOW!”
“Sure thing, James comes everyday around noon and leaves before he’s off for school, he’s a great boyfriend”
“He’s not my boyfriend”
“Oh, I’m sorry it’s just-“
“I get it” I cut him off quickly, I wonder why Isabel’s brother would be bringing me to a hospital, why would I be there I remember getting ready to go to Max’s but Isabel’s?
“Well Liz, it’s 11:45, James will be here very soon you can talk to him then” the doc turns to leave but I stop him.
“Doc?”
“You can call be Ben” he says with a small smile, he turns towards the bed.
“Well Doctor Ben, what did they say when they brought me in, I mean why did a have the panic attack”
“You saw a spider…” Ben leaves before I can say anything.

That’s crazy though, I mean I don’t like spiders but I’d never freak out over one. I must look like a total freak, crossing my arms over my chest I see the stupid I.V needle, -shiver- now needles is one thing I hate. Wrapping my fingers around it, I grit my teeth as I pull the needle out and fling it to the floor, a little blood comes out but not much so I just use my hand to stop it for now.

Ok let’s think, so Michael and Maria yep I can remember that, dressing at my house check, driving to Max’s house check, but then I ----- I----- I um…
“DAMNIT” I grunted angrily at myself, why can’t I remember, I hear voices outside my door and I see the figure of two men outside the door. I watch in silence as Ben opens the door and James walks in, his eyes widen when he sees me, “Liz!” he says quietly. In an instant he’s at my side, he grabs for my hand but I pull away, Bens already left…
“What the hell happened? James?” in this light I can see some bruising around James nose and eye. James doesn’t answer but looks at the bed, “I’m sorry Liz, I couldn’t do anything”.
“James, I can’t remember shit, your going to have to fill me in here!” He looks up shocked, his mouth hangs open slightly.
“What do you mean, like what can you remember?”
“Driving to Max’s is the last thing I remember, I was going to break up with him…” I say, it’s funny that it doesn’t faze James he doesn’t change but then his face looks angry.
“You don’t remember [i]anything[/i] after that? Nothing at all, what happened there, where you went after, the next morning?” I can tell he’s holding back, his the calmness in his voice sounds forced.
“No I can’t, so stop fucking around what happened!” James winces when I yell, I quickly say sorry.
“I didn’t mean to yell it’s just, this is really maddening, I mean I can’t remember anything and you all make it seem like I should but I can’t!” I can feel some tears rolling down my cheeks; James softly wipes them with the pad of his thumb.
“Liz, well you broke up with Max… I was there, and he was with another girl and so I took you back to my house and I guess he called or something because you came into my room-“
“Did we??-“ I ask, I can’t believe I’d sleep with another-
“No, we didn’t” Ok ok, good that helps…
“Well the next morning Maria was going to come and drop off some clothes and get you for school, and during breakfast Kyle came over, and then Max did” He stops and looks at me, i can’t read his face, he looks sad but angry.
“But that doesn’t explain how I went into a panic attack; I know it wasn’t a spider!” I say a little hurt that he seems to be holding back when it’s MY LIFE!
“Liz, when Max got there he was mad and upset and wanted to talk to you privately and you refused, that made him very mad so he grabbed you…then Kyle told him to let go and he wouldn’t, so when I saw you crying I told him to let go and he hit me…”
“Oh my god”
“Then he started to pull you towards the door and you collapsed, Mac started crying and flipping out and left, so Kyle and I brought you here” I watch as the tears fall from his eyes, I take his face in my hands, “It wasn’t your fault, you don’t have to worry you did what you could, I appreciate that”.
“Thanks Liz, I was scared that something would be wrong with you and it would be my fault I couldn’t get him off you”, taking a deep breath I push away my own tears.
“James, let’s not talk about this right now…I’m tired” He looks away and wipes at his tears, “Sure Liz, I’ll come back for dinner-“
“No”
“What?”
“No, don’t leave will you stay with me?” James nods, I move over and James climbs in the bed with me. I lay my head against his chest and try to sleep, but I mean I just slept for 3 days. I feel James wrap his arms around and sigh, I listen as his breath becomes more rhythmic and I know he is asleep. Pushing away all my thoughts, I try and focus on his breathing and in the warmth of his body I feel myself slowly drift back to sleep.

---

UM yeah TBC???

OOPS SRRY ON THE MAIN PAGE IT SAYS Part 4 But its really 3

Part 4

*Welcome to the Jungle*

It’s Friday today, my parents had me stay home Thursday even though the doctors said I was fine and dandy, Ben even said Dandy. However they are crazy and I was under house rest, now I mean rest because if they walked in my room and I wasn’t lying in bed I was shot…not literally. They wouldn’t even let anyone come over they even talked about cutting down the ladder from my balcony!! They thought that everything on the earth would send me into another attack, but it also worked to my advantage my mother bought me this pretty new silver chain bracelet that has a silver heart hanging from it. Right now, though I’m driving to school so I can get to all my friends before Max to make sure things are going to be ok with them and see how things are. I decided since my first day as a senior I’m going for some change, so instead of baggy pants and tee-shirts I’m wearing a dark purple polo, and a short denim skirt with purple flip flops. My hair is down and I am wearing make-up only though eyeliner and some mascara and lip gloss, but still Maria would be proud!
Another thing I’m not letting this whole Max thing take up all my time, I broke up with him I guess and I had good reason. Even if I don’t remember the breaking up, or all the stupid shit he did after, I think it’s better because it’s just less hurt for me. So I’m going to make this as easy as possible for my friends so I’m going to be friendly to Max I mean people have been able to pull the just friends thing off before.

I pulled into the West Roswell High School parking lot and found an open spot next to Maria’s jetta. It wasn’t that hard seeing as most students were taking more than enough time to get here, but we weren’t I could see everyone’s car except Max’s, just perfect. Walking into the school I put away my back pack and heading out towards the courtyard. The first person I see is Maria she’s the only one facing the door, there’s about 3 other people than my friends…
Maria’s talking about something and waving her arms about wildly but stops when she sees my enter. “Liz!” she yells loudly causing all of the people here to turn, everyone looks happy and scared at the same time. I start to walk over but Maria beats me to her and has me wrapped up in her arms before I can talk 3 steps. Everyone is short behind her, “Oh my god we were so scared Liz”, Maria says muffled a little by my shoulder.
“It’s ok I’m fine, no big deal just a little lost”, I answer pulling back a little from Maria who lets me go and steps back.
“Liz, I was so scared when I heard the screaming, when I came downstairs James and Kyle were carrying you to the car” Isabel said with tears in her eyes, most of the guys stood quiet.
“You guys, its ok I can’t even remember anything after Sunday Morning…”
“WHAT!!!” they all consecutively yell, I blush a little from embarrassment.
“Hasn’t James talked to you?” I ask, everyone’s eyes go to Isabel.
“WHAT?! I haven’t he’s either been at the hospital or in locked in his room” She saying quietly, “No worries Iz” I say pointing towards the table I finish, “Guys lets sit and I’ll tell you what you want to know”.


TBC SRRY IT’S SHORT BUT I’M UNDER SOME MAJOR PROJECTS BUT I’M GONNA POST AGAIN MAJOR MAJORLY SOON

Hey guys here's a new part

Part 4, really this time…

*Oh no no no don’t phunk with MY heart*

After telling them all I knew, they all just stared with open jaws. Michael was the first to say anything, “Liz if I knew that was going to happen I would have come with you”.
“Thanks Mike, but even I didn’t know I mean I guess I gave Max to much trust that he could change and he proved me wrong” I look at Maria who’s eyes are teary.
“Maria?” She looks up at me and wipes her eyes, “Sorry Liz, it’s just that I’m your best friend and I couldn’t do anything to stop this”.
“Maria I did it to myself, Max was never anything but honest with me and I was selfish to think he would change”. No one wants to say anything so I continue, “Guys, another thing though I’m not bitter towards Max, I’m hurt obviously but I don’t want all of our friendships to be ruined because of this break up, ok?”
“Of course not, but I can still be mad right?” Alex says, I smile to him and he nods, “Well I’ll try and be nice…”
“Yeah I guess, I mean he is still the same Max”
“Are you guys kidding me?” Isabel finally speaks, “He fucking went back to FUCKING another girl, then only to come and PHYSICALLY hurt Liz and almost kill her!!! YOUR JUST GONNA ALL FORGIVE HIM!” she is seething, I can tell she’s hurt but I don’t know what to do.
“Iz, I just don’t want this to ruin the group” I say trying to sound happy and calm when really I just want to cry some more.
“This is the last time we are going to talk about it, ok, please for me let’s try and move on and forget Max and I ever happened-“
“So is that how it’s going to be from now on?” a deep voice says behind me, of course I recognize it I’ve heard it so many times.
Turning around I come face to face with the man who single handily broke me.
“Max, hey…” I don’t know what to say, ‘hey yah about you and that other girl, or almost killing me’. Those don’t seem like the best angle… haha see I can still be funny.
“Liz, we need to talk…please” His voice comes out honest and pleading I go to stand but I feel Maria pull me back down.
“Max we’ve been told under strict circumstances not to be mad, but don’t think that we aren’t you’ve done enough here so if you want to talk to Liz you can do it here” Maria says her voice filled with rage and power. I want to hug her and kiss her, but I control myself, Max and I do need to talk there’s so many unanswered questions.
“It’s ok Maria, him and I do need to talk” I look at everyone and they all try and smile reassuringly, except Iz who just looks away.

“Let’s get this over with” I say standing up walking away from the table, I leave Max to follow me. I can feel his eyes boring into my body and it makes me shiver, I’m going to have to not let him get to me like this, I don’t know how he does it…
Once in the school Max comes next to me, “You look different” is all he says not even looking at me.
“Yeah, I guess I needed change” I say curtly, I can see him turn and look at me before taking my hand in his. Protesting I pull away from him, “Max don’t…”
“Liz...” I hold my hand up to stop him; I can feel tears already threatening to spill from my eyes.
“No Max, I was serious when I came Sunday…we are over, I don’t want to do this anymore with you, your never going to love me back Max your wasting my time and I’m wasting yours…”
“Listen to me Liz, you never do-“
“Should I have to? Max because I don’t think I do, you hurt me and it’s always going to be there, don’t you know what you are to me what you’ll always be? You’re my first love everyone else will just be second best, and the worst part is that I know you never loved me back” I start to cry, but I wipe my eyes and stand strong, “Max I may not actually remember that day but I know what you did, how could you! Max I could have died all because of you!” I poke his chest hard; he looks at me with such emotion I have to bite my tongue not to cry.
“Liz, you have to let me tell you” He puts his hands on my arms, “Please Liz let me tell you”.
“Fine Max”, I look at him as I cross my arms over my chest waiting for answer, “Liz, let’s go for a drive…”

I follow Max out to his jeep and we pull out of the parking lot, the silence is thick and suffocating.
“Are you going to take all day?” I finally ask, he doesn’t look at me but nods, well that’s helpful.
“Max things happen I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of this! I mean you didn’t love me Max, I was just your girlfriend you and I had some good times together and I went too deep and got hurt” I try and talk to him I want to know what he’s thinking, why’d he sleep with that other girl, why is he so heartless, why he ran and never visited me I want to know everything-
“Liz just shut up”, he doesn’t say it cruelly or angry he just says it. The shock causes me to not say anything I just sit there wondering what the hell will happen next.

About an hour later of watching desert scenery fly by, I see a sign and it reads:

THANKS FOR VISITING ALL US ALIENS!
You’re now leaving
Roswell, New Mexico

“Max! We just crossed the Roswell city line! WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING?!” I yell as loud as I can, suddenly I’m swung into the window by the jerk of the wheel because I had scared Max when I yelled.
“Oops sorry I guess” I say as Max pulls over to the side of the road, I watch him as he looks over and sighs.
“I’m sorry Liz… for everything, I’ve said some things-“
“A lot more like it” I bite out sarcastically, he frowns at me, and then looked out and into the desert.
“Sorry keep going…” I say gesturing for him to continue, he takes a deep breath before starting again.
“Well I’ve said some things I regret Liz like when you came to me that night to break up with me… I had been at an early party and I did some things that led me to do something other things leading all to the fucking of Missy” I can’t help but feel crushed by his words. I feel like a sumo wrestler has taken a seat on my chest.
“Max I mean that’s great and all, but I don’t care you’ve slept with other girls before, as long as you could still be the sweet honest guy I knew I didn’t care you were Max to me” I say pushing my tears away, he will never see me cry especially over him not any more.

“Liz you don’t get it, I don’t get it!” Slamming his fists hard into the steering wheel I feel my stomach flip and my nerves build. I’ve never seen Max so angry, but he was with me so I’m told and I’m no where near anyone to save me.

“Max, calm down…why are you getting so upset over this? I thought this would be the best thing, I can’t love you and know that you won’t ever love me back-“
“How do you know that!” he yells, shortly after he quickly apologizes and wipes at invisible tears.
“YOU TOLD ME THAT! The day I had the nerve to ask you to be my boyfriend! I didn’t care about the rumors, I’d known you for as long as time and I thought that maybe just MAYBE with me you’d see that love is possible…I guess not” I cross my arms over my chest, all the questions I want to ask itch at my mouth.
“Max, why did you call me that night? I mean I watched you in your window I saw you go back to bed with her…”

TBC THANKX EVERYONE
I know things are a bit confusing but please stick with me and leave tons of FB

Ok Any one know how to make banners or what I need to do it? I would really like one so jw

Anyway.. I hope your dying to know whats going on

Part 5
* I didn't Mean it*

Previously:

"..I saw you go back to bed with her"

--

Once the words left my mouth I cringed, I didn't want to hear it anymore. He did it all the time, I just don't get how a guy can be so ... I can't even think of a good word for it. I see Max's eyes widen before he looks away, avoiding looking at me, and it hurts to know he must feel some guilt.

"Liz it wasn't like what you saw'll" Max said without having to look me, his hands gripped the steering wheel, his hands wrapped around the leather and twisted it under his palms. Nervous habit he had, Max always needed to keep his hands busy. I run my hand under my eyes and wipe away the tears and push my hand through my hair and gaining some courage i speak up my voice coming out stronger than i had expected.
"Then what the hell is it Max? You have done nothing but raise question after question, I really shouldn't give a flying FUCK, but I want answers and I want them NOW!" I say, Max looks at me shocked obviously not expecting me to be so forward.

"I-"Max starts but i interrupt, "No, I don't want to hear your speech... I want my answers, so i'm going to ask the question and your going to flat out answer it. There's no 'Well..' or if's and's or but's, got it?" Max actually looks as he will cry, his amber eyes are dark and sullen glazed with water, making his eyes shine with sadness.
"Got it?" I question again unfazed by him, he looks at me through the corner of his eyes before nodding.
"Good..." I stop and try and think of my first question....
"Ok, first off I guess is why did you call me at Jame's house, you didn't seem to care at all that we were through... Max I was like the part of a relationship you don't like"
"That's not true Liz, you were the person who knew me the best not even Michael... I knew that I was hurting you every time I slept with other girl" I feel my stomach flip when i hear him actually say it, " But the truth was I cared about you, when I was with you I could be honest, caring, I could see myself being happy, and if I could sleep with the others and have you there I was getting all i wanted. I was selfish, very very selfish, but I pushed it to the back of my mind because I liked being with you and what you made me when I was with you", He looks finally to me and I see the sadness in his eyes. I fight the urge to hold him to kiss him because it would only get me in the hole I put myself in.
Coldly I bite out," You didn't answer the question", Max stares at me a second before answering his voice shakes a bit before stopping.
"I called because I wan't you back, I wanted you to let me be the other Max the one you would smile at not the one that when I did something made you cross your arms over your chest and tap your foot the one that made you cry", I feel my self want to forgive him, but I wont.
"Max you sound like and idiot" I say my voice toneless, just the words. I can see the hurt across his face plain and simple, right there for me to see and now it makes me hurt.
"Liz?" His voice sounds like a young boys, I look at him and see a different emotion in his eyes one I had never seen before, regret.
"What Max? What do you want me to do? 'Oh i'm sorry Max lets get back together so you can use me, so you can fuck every girl in the entire state and with every girl make me feel like dying just a little bit more each time?!!' NO MAX, I told myself I wouldn't let you back in, you hurt me more than you will ever understand because you are broken you will never feel for anyone the way I feel about you because you are too ignorant to see it" I cross my arms angrily over my chest and huff as i sit back against the jeep door.
"Liz, I know i've been very selfish, and I know i hurt you..." Max's words seem to fall into the background and everything before my eyes is black and I see it all, I remember it all. I begin to cry, watching as all the memories flood into my brain the hurt and sorrow fill me.
"Shut up Max, You seem to have forgot what you said on the phone, but i remember!" I smile when I say that, because now I remember.
"What?" Max stares at me bewildered, but i continue.
"I said 'we can still be friends but don’t try to say we should get back together' and know what you said, and i quote 'Why would I say that', Max can you remember that?" I sit and wait for an answer I just stare into his amber eyes and feel nothing.
"How do you remember that? I thought you didn't remember anything from those-" How the hell would he know that...
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!" I yell I hit him on the shoulder and repeat the question again, and he remains silent.
"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!" I Say pushing him with my hands, trying to shake the answers out of him.
"I talk to Ben..."
"DOCTOR BEN?" I ask, seriously I am just floored...
"Yes, I came to see you everynight after visting hours... I would just sit there and watch you" He says staring out the windshield.
"But Ben never told me you came? He told me about James and never once did he mention YOU!" I point accusingly at him.
"I paid him not to tell you..."
"WHY?!"
When Max began to talk I was shocked as his voice came out louder than I had ever heard, " DON'T YOU GET IT LIZ? I MADE YOU PANIC! I PUT YOU IN THAT COMA! IT WAS MY FAULT I DID IT TO YOU!", Max began to cry, "I couldn't stand to think about it, it would hurt me Liz everytime I thought about you in the that bed just lying there in that bed all those tubes, I knew that when you woke up you wouldn't want to hear about me" I can't help but feel guilty by his words, because if I had woke up and remembered I probaly wouldn't wanted to hear his name.
"Max..." I start but Max interupts me this time, "Liz don't I don't want to hear it this time." I look away, knowing that he turned the tables on me.
"NO YOUR GOING TO LISTEN!" I yell, this makes Max whip his head in my direction.
"That doesn't make it excusable Max, for starters... Why didn't you let go! I told you over and over again! But NOOOOO you were blinded by anger Max, or was it Jealousy?"
"Jealous? Of what ?! Max asked deffensivly, I gave him a knowing look and it clicked.
"Oh my god, When you called and heard James's name you got angry and that's why you were asshole! Then when you came in the morning and saw that I was there and didn't give a shit about what you had to say, all you say was red!! WASN'T IT!" Before he can speak, I continue to tell the story again.
"You crossed a line and you knew it, you heard me pleading for you to let go and you dimissed it Max, then when I passed out you panicked and to save your ass you ran! Then overwhelmed with guilt you visited me, and when you heard I was awake you saw a chance to apologize and then the best news came, I didn't remember. But you knew that James would tell me cause I bet that Ben told you all about my "Great boyfriend", who came to see me everyday! You couldn't stand it, and I bet that night you came and you saw him laying in that bed with me and you knew that you lost me... that's why we are hear isn't it? You wanted me to feel bad for you to want to take you back so you could be both Maxes...You could onyl think about yourself...you will always be selfish..." He doesn't even bother to answer, I watch in silence as max starts the jeep and we head back into Roswell.

We pull up to the school and Max sighs, "There's so much more Liz, something YOU will never understand...".
I stare in confusion as Max gets out of the jeep and walks towads the school. I feel my self break down and I begin to sob harder than ever before, because for the first time since I met Max I can feel that it's over.


--
TBC?? So how do you like it so far?

A new part hopefully soon

*Waves white flag* I'm sorry it took 4 different verisions and a lot of editing i just dont know where this is going. But i hope you enjoy



Part 6
“Perfected Imperfection*

Previously:

We pull up to the school and Max sighs, "There's so much more Liz, something YOU will never understand...".
I stare in confusion as Max gets out of the jeep and walks towards the school. I feel my self break down and I begin to sob harder than ever before, because for the first time since I met Max I can feel that it's over.


Present:

I sat in his jeep till my tears had dried up and my chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. I thought that I would be able to control myself, but I’m not a fighter. Sitting here I can see the happy people chatting with their friends, there hearts weren’t ripped violently from their chest; they didn’t loose the love of their life. My life is chaos and it was my fault entirely.

“Liz?” Jumping a mile high I turn to the voice outside the window, I stare at them for a second then reach to roll the window down.

“Maria”, I can see the tears pricking at the back of her eyes as she looks at me. I feel myself beginning to loose the little grip I felt, I watched as Maria pulls the door open and pulls me into her arms.

“I’m so sorry Liz…” I hear her whisper into my ear the sadness and pity thick in her voice. I want to scream at her and tell her I’m fine that it was nothing to me, but I would be lying and I am sick of lying to her to anyone. I push her off me gently and force a laugh. “Maria, I’ve been better but honestly I just want to go home and be alone for a while”. I see hurt flash evidently across her face, but she smiles and looks towards the school, “Your parents are going to kill you…” She says in mock fear. We both laugh as we walk slowly to her red jetta.

The drive home is an awkward comfortable silence, when we pull up to the metal ringed ladder alongside my balcony I hear her sigh to her self.

“Thanks Maria” I say quietly as I reach for the door, my fingers just brush the door handle when I hear her speak.

“Don’t let this get out of hand, It’s going to be hard to get over but I know you Liz … please don’t think the world is over because you have all your friends and we still love you” I can hear the fear and worry in her speech, and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. I was doing it again to her and she knew it, I was going to push away.

I try and reassure her everything will be ok but I can’t all I can get out is, “He’s apart of me that I just lost and I’ll never be complete again, I love you too but I need time”. I feel guilty for lying, I just couldn’t control it I cant control anything these days.

I get out before she can say anymore, I know she will go back to school and ream Max out, she will share her worries for me with everyone else they will all call me repetitively all night, but no one will reach me. I’ll be in my own world….


----
9:00 am 6 days later

*RING -----RING-----RING*
I turn over in my bed and press the mute button on the remote; I flip over the phone and read the caller ID.

Evans, Phillip & Diane

Anger fills me just with the sight of his families’ name, with all my might I throw the phone across the room and smile proudly as it shatters into pieces. I knew it wasn’t Max, but Isabel. Kyle had called 2 hours prior and Maria has called 124 times since I left her. I haven’t talked to anyone but my mom to tell her I wouldn’t be coming to work for a couple days, she assumed it was because of my accident.

Trying to get back into the world of soap operas and kids education television, I couldn’t the anger coursed through me given me an energy I had been lacking. I hadn’t left my bed since Maria dropped me home, my parents were thankful for the bed rest and my friends were… well I didn’t know. My stomach ached for a second but the pain was only for a second, it was hunger I knew it. I hadn’t been able to eat or keep food down; if my mother tried to make me eat soup in my own stubbornness I refused. Not caring whether or not I ate or not, fading away into nothingness didn’t look like a bad idea…

Looking around my room I sigh angrily to myself as push to my feet, my legs crumble under me slightly. I walk into the bathroom, I avoid to mirror its seems to be my new thing I can’t look at myself I discovered if I do I become angry, depressed, scared and worst of all I feel pity. Pity for me for not having the strength not to act like a 3 year old after her boyfriend, whom she broke up with in the first place leaves her life. Turning on the faucet I watch as the icy water fills the tub slowly, I slowly slip off my shorts and tank and panties. I slip my foot in the water and my body trembles at the sheer shock of the temperature, slowly I slide my entire body into the numbing water. Once in my body begins to shut down, I lean my head back against the edge and tune into my body. I can feel the pure emptiness, I can hear the slowing of my heart my ears are filled with a soft hum like vibration sound and everything feels alright. For those twenty minutes I feel in control, I smile softly to myself running my cold pruned hand through my hair I let myself sink under the water. I watch as the water ripples my sight as I stare at my ceiling, thoughts of Max and my friends flash through my head and I begin to feel again my emotions begin to take over. Breaking through the surface, gasping for air I try and relax my body once more to feel the completeness again. I touch my lips and they feel cold, everything feels cold like death matching how I felt on the inside. I once again rest my head back and begin to relax; my eyes get heavy as I feel myself beginning to drift to sleep…


“OMIGOD!” A voice screams loudly piercing through my sleepy daze, in a panic I pull my knees to my chest in a small effort to conceal my body. I see my mother and Maria standing in the bathroom door way, my mother’s hands clasped over my mouth. Maria stands with her mouth gaping at me in shock, my mother turns around grabbing a towel drops next to me at the tub and tries to pull me out while covering my body. Maria tries to help and once they get me wrapped they sit me on the toilet each one sitting on their knee’s in front of me the faces filled with fear.

“What the hell were you doing Elizabeth Clara Parker!” at first I stare at her my arms tingling as they regain warmth. I roll my eyes; “I was taking a bath” my voice comes out shaky and my teeth chatter.

“In COLD water, you look positively blue! You could have killed yourself and froze to death!” My mother bites out angrily, but her face reveals hurt. I look to Maria who looks guilty for a second; I then realize she must have told my mother about the Max issue, shit was all I could think.

“Can you hear me? Elizabeth, don’t you act all stupid now talk to me, to us” She says gesturing to Maria.

“I was just taking a bath!” I bite out, standing up quickly I go to leave but quickly realize my mistake when everything around me turns black and the bathroom tile comes rushing towards my head.

“Liz…” It’s my mother
“Can you hear us?” Now it’s Maria, opening my eyes slowly I look around, I’m still cold but now I’m underneath a thick comforter in my bed. I force myself to sit up as I look at them.

“Liz, I’m not even going to ask if you’re alright, because I know your not” My mother says while trying not to cry, she bites her trembling lip and I force myself not to cry either. Maria places her hand over mine, she’s crying softly.

“Let us get over this together everyone is worried sick, please let us help” Her voice begs me, and for a second I want to I honestly want to. I feel the tears escape my eyes and slide down my cheeks, not wanting to feel out of control I nod my head.

“I’ll try” before I could say anything else both women have wrapped their arms around me and we become a blubbering mess.



---
1 hour later

“Maria I think it’s a little soon for that…” I say as Maria stands in front of me her arms crossed over her chest as she taps her foot.

“Liz, I’m sorry but you are coming downstairs and you are going to see your friends they miss you” Her voice leaves no room for questioning. I shake my head and go to my dresser; I pull out my favorite jeans and pull them on. I hear Maria gasp and I turn to her, only to have my pants fall from my hips and become a bundle on the floor.
“They were always big on me” I say defensively, Maria shakes her head and comes up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders.

“When was the last time you ate, don’t lie either I can tell you’ve lost weight” I stare at her for a second almost pleased that she said that.

“I ate this morning before I took a bath” I lied, I didn’t want her thinking I’ve become all anorexic and what not…. (A/N, please don’t take offense I do not mean this in a mean way to anyone suffering or recovered etc from an eating disorder)

“How much do you weigh?” That was a dumb question like I really weighed myself lately, I’m five foot seven and I normally weigh 125 I’m just an average girl.

“Maria I think you’re over reacting don’t worry about me so much your going to get wrinkles!” I say stepping back away from her, I go to my closet and pull out a pair of jeans I don’t wear anymore because they became to tight. This time I easily slip them on, then throwing on a regular white polo and some white flip-flops. I turn to Maria as she stares at me looking so closely at my body I become self conscious. I pull my hair from the pony tail and it falls loosely around my shoulders.

“Come on Maria…let’s get this done” I say walking up to her, it weird having Maria not talk she wasn’t called hurricane Deluca for nothing.

Once we get down stairs I let Maria go in front of me, I know it’s silly but I’m actually scared to see my friends. Will they think I’ve acted childish? Will they hate me for not talking to them? I don’t know what to expect.

Maria pushed through the swinging door and looks back at me holding the door open for me I walk in. Isabel sees me first, her eyes begin to tear up and she stands slowly. Everyone else catches on and turns to look, in a instant they all surround me their faces filled with relief anger sadness hurt, everything. Isabel and Tess look as they are about to let Niagara Falls loose, Kyle and Alex look in shock.

“Well hey guys” I say putting a hand up to wave, Tess lets out a teary laugh and the guys smile. They all pull me to the table and we all sit in silence for a second, Michael comes up to take our order, “Hey Liz” He says softly, then turns to joke “I guess I’ll be getting you 6 will smith burgers?” I laugh at his comment and everyone stares at me with an unreadable expression.
“Um… as good as that sounds I just want water and a cherry co--, diet coke please” Cherry coke was Max’s favorite.
“Liz that’s ALL you want?” Maria says eyeing me up, “Yes Maria I’m just not that hungry”.

“It looks like you haven’t eaten in days there Parker” Kyle spits out, it earns him a nudge in the arm from Tess.
“Ouch” he says looking over at her, Tess raises her eyebrows at him and he turns back around.
After Michael takes the order and leaves, everyone looks to me expectantly.
I couldn’t take their looks anymore I cracked, “What?” I asked annoyed.

They all exchange glances like they are know something that they don’t want to share with me.

“You don’t have to walk on egg shells around me, I’m still the same old Liz guys…see” I pat at my body, “Still human, so please lets pretend this never happened it over and done with”. They all seem to like and want to accept this answer, I smile at their ignorance and frown at my cruelty.

We all begin to joke and laugh like usual, I feel myself want to really be happy. When everyone leaves and it’s just me and Alex an Maria and Michael left, Michael flips the sign to the crashdown and locks the door.

“So Liz tomorrow we are all going to Michaels apartment and having a total movie and pizza day, you up for it?” Alex asks his face lights up as he smiles at me.

I ponder it for a second, Michael senses my hesistation and rests his arm over my shoulder and says “If your not up to it then its fine don’t worry we aren’t going to force you into doing anything yet”.

“NO!” I say quickly, “It’s really fine, -fine, it will be fun, right?”
“Right!” Maria answers, out of all my friends Alex, Maria and Michael have been the closest to me, and Michael has been like a brother to me I’ve known him the longest.

We sit there for a second, a question I had been dying to ask bites at me willing me to ask it. Giving in I do, “Guys what happened with Max, I mean that day?”.

I watch as Maria’s eyes widen and Alex chokes on his soda, I look at Michael he looks directly at me.
“He came back to class and sat down, at lunch he didn’t say anything just acted like usual…We remembered that you had said you didn’t want this affecting us so we kind of just you know went on with things…”- I didn’t say anything, but Maria continued.
“I think that after a couple days Max thought that you were avoiding all of us to avoid him… so he stopped hanging out with us as much as he did”

I really wish I didn’t feel guilty but I did, these were his friends to and I was being a bitch making them choose.

“Well is he invited for tomorrow night?”

“We didn’t think if you wanted to come that you’d want him there” Alex replied honestly, I smiled at him for his thoughtfulness.

“No guys but things are going back to normal; I’ll call him and invite him”

TBC
So how do you like??

Hey touched by an alien i listened to that song and LOVED it, i will deff use that soon!!
So everyone please forgive me, you'll understand when you read :)
Enjoy


Part 7

*Getting back to life as me*

Everyone was gone; I stood alone in the restaurant flipping up the chairs mentally kicking myself for offering to call Max. It was too soon, obviously I couldn’t do it but I couldn’t help myself I was upset that he was feeling he had to leave his own friends just so there wouldn’t be the awkwardness of it all.

“Gosh” I spoke out loud to myself as I flipped the last chair up, I wiped the back of my hand across my head. It was extremely hot even for a late summers night, it wasn’t quite time for fall weather but this heat was a scorcher.

Switching off the lights and heading back towards my room I passed the pantry, my stomach rumbled with fury causing me to stumble and grip the banister. I look back to the food in the little room and sigh, walking back down the stairs I frown at the labels everything and nothing appealing to me all at the same time. Maybe I wasn’t hungry after all? Sure, it could just be thirst this heat must just be taking loads of water from me…leaving the pantry with a satisfied grin I fill a large glass with water and go towards the stairs. ‘I’m not that tired’, I think to myself. I don’t feel like going upstairs and watching TV either…bored I head back out into the Crash and pull down a seat, sitting in the chair I just stare at the walls around me. Funny green men peek out from behind milkshake machines, aliens stand peacefully in front of their crashed ship. A big white board filled with the latest alien themed food and little flying saucers drawn onto it sits in the back. Smiling at the cheesiness of the things around her, I couldn’t help but feel at home in fact I grew up in this restaurant with my friends and we were all raised on the food and atmosphere. Finishing off her water Liz walked behind the counter and found a mop and bucket, as long as she was up maybe she should do something helpful, it was only 2 am.

About half and hour later and only ¾ of the floor cleaned, Liz felt tired and exhausted but compelled to finish. She picked the bucket up and poured the water into the sink, as she did she could hear the faint sound of knocking; shaking it away Liz figured she was just hearing things.

“Click Click”, once I realized that I was in fact NOT hearing things I look out through the pick up window and saw’ll no one.

I still walk unsurely to the door, I feel my stomach flip in nervousness and fear but I unlock the door and push it open. I step out and let the door fall shut behind me, “Hello?” I whisper out softly hoping there will be no answer, I take a step back towards the light and safety of the Crash.
“Liz??” Comes a deep voice I’ve known all my life, but this time instead of butterflies I feel an ache and pain at the sound I hadn’t heard in days.

“What do you want Max? It’s late…” I can barely see him his face is darken my the shadows around him, but as if reading my mind he steps forward and comes closer which in return I step back pushing myself against the door.

“I was just out for a run-“He says gesturing to the shorts and sneakers he wore, my eyes roamed over his tanned golden body my memory helps fill the dark and I can picture the toned body I know so well. “I saw you moping and well I don’t know just wanted to see how you were, I haven’t seen you since well, when- we … you know”

“Talked?” I added, he nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Max I’m not avoiding you”, I say bite out quickly his eyes widen before looking away.

“I didn’t think you were…” He starts but I cut him off, “Don’t start lying again, they all told me your hanging out less and I don’t want it to be my fault”.

“It’s not your fault Liz” he says softly, I look at him and watch as he does his best not to make eye contact with me. A little frustrated I sigh and gesture towards the crash, “Would you like some water or something?” Max begins to shake his head but stops and nods. I hold the door open and he walks into the dimly lit Crash. As I watch him walk in his body coming into sight even more I feel the urge to reach out and run my hand down his muscular back.

“So Liz are you ok?” I see Max looking at me, his face is filled with concern and caring and I can’t help but stare at his beautiful features. I’m doing it again; I think to myself I’m letting him pull me back in! Trying to shake the thoughts from my head I reply, “That seems to be the question of the week”.

“Well I could understand that”, he says pulling out a chair and taking a seat.
“You’d think that I just watched my puppy die, not that I just broke up with my boyfriend”, I watch Max’s eyes snap to me then look away hurt evident across his face.

“Max, don’t do this we will get over this and we will be friends again like nothing ever happened.” I say standing next to him as he sits, he looks at me he looks lost then quickly it’s gone.

“After what we had being friends will be hard…”
“After what WE had, Max what we had wouldn’t constitute as a relationship, in a relationship one of the parties doesn’t sleep with anything that has 2 legs and a vagina!” I spit out curtly, and then quickly apologize. “Sorry Max I didn’t mean it”.

“Yes you did otherwise you wouldn’t have said it…Liz I know I hurt you, I was blind to think you didn’t care. It was selfish of me to want you always there even when I treated you like shit, sleeping with those girls” I cringed once again and feel my heart thump against my chest, “I can never begin to tell you how sorry I truly am”. When he finishes he softly grabs my hands in his, and kisses my knuckles.

I pull my hands away from him, trying to regain my control on the situation, “Max, tomorrow night oh wait, today we are getting together at Alex’s for a BBQ and movie night you up for coming?” In some ways I hope he says no…but no such luck.

“If you’re alright with it then, I guess there’s no harm in it right?” I nod, stepping back from him I walk to the kitchen to get my bucket of water still sitting in the sink. Realizing something I forgot to ask I quietly yell to Max in the other room, “Why were you out running so late??” I wait a second for his reply but it doesn’t come.

“Max?” I question leaning my head out the pick up window, he’s no where to be seen.
“Well that’s just great, just fucking great” I angrily flip the water on and watch as the steam from the heat rises and fills the bucket.

I go to pick up the bucket, “I had a lot on my mind, I couldn’t sleep” the sound startles me and I drop the bucket to the floor. I turn around and find a grinning Max standing there with his hands on his hips leaning against the doorway.

“I thought you left”, I say as I reach for a towel and drop it on the puddle.

“Nope”, that’s all he says annoyed I fall to my knees and begin to sop up the water. Max grabs another towel and begins to help neither of us speaks till we are finished.
We stand there in the kitchen in a very awkward silence, “Well thanks for helping me clean up the water” I say stupidly.

“Well it was my fault you dropped it so it was my duty to help, I’d be an asshole to make you do it”, he says smiling.

“You have a point” trying to walk past him I can’t, he steps in front of me blocking my path.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” He questions putting his hands on my arms; it doesn’t scare me because Max looks scared not angry.

“What do you mean?” I question innocently, really not knowing what he was talking about.

“Maria called me after she left here…” , I feel myself getting angry “She says she’s worried about you, your passing out, not eating, Liz are you trying to kill yourself?”.

“What does it matter?” I yell pulling out of his grasp, feeling plagued by guilt for ever showing weakness not being able to have the damn control I so desperately need now.

“It matters Liz, I hurt you enough I don’t want you to hurt even more!” I can see tears beginning to prick at the back of his eyes. It almost causes me to cry to but I bite my lip to keep from doing so.

“I’m fine, why can’t anyone get that!” I feel myself slipping over the edge, “I’m NOT trying to die, I AM eating and no one should have to worry about ME!” I dramatically point to myself as to make a serious effort to convince him.

“Liz you don’t look well-“
“It’s not YOUR place to say anything Max, I’m fine and that’s final!”, my chest heaves in anger I watch as Max comes to me and wraps one hand behind my head and one around my waist and pulls me flush against him, and in an instant his lips are fused with my own. My mind fights my heart trying to will myself to pull away, but the feeling of completeness I get like in the tub returns but this time its warmth.

My arms go around his neck and I pull him even closer, he moans as I deepen the kiss. Each of us pulling at each other like one of us might disappear in an instant, I run my hands roughly over his back my body crying out to him. I feel as his hands cup my butt and roughly pull me harder against his obvious arousal, I hiss as my center brushes against his and I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. Without breaking the kiss we roam each others mouth for an unknown answer, as we enter the employee lounge I unwrap my legs from his waist and break away from him. Both of us trying desperately to catch our breath, “Max we shouldn’t-“, before I can finished I feel myself pulled once again against him, his soft lips brush against my neck sending shivers down my spine.
“Max” I say as I pull his mouth to mine, once again we kiss I lower myself down onto the couch and smile as his weight comes down on top of me. He breaks from my lips and begins trailing kisses down my jaw line, I can feel his hardness poke against my center and I feel my body scream out for him to be inside me.
“Liz” Max moans, “I need you always and forever”
In a sexual daze I don’t register his words, I feel myself pull and tug at his shirt as he sucks softly at my sensitive spot on my neck. Once his shirt is gone, begins to catch on an slips one of his large hands under my shirt and gently grabs my breast in his hands and rubs it, my body aches for attention which he gladly gives it. Using his other hand he pulls the soft cotton over my head leaving exposed, he smiles as his lips attached to my harden peaks. He lightly sucks and licks at it sending my body into a pleasure shock, my hands pull at him wanting to feel him to feel him in me. Max kisses me between my breast and trails kisses down my stomach with each one closer I feel myself becoming wetter and wetter with anticipation. Once he reaches the rim of my shorts he looks to me for approval, I nod my head and put my hands into his hair. When his tongue flicks against my wet lips my hips buck at the new sensation, he slips a finger inside my wetness and begins slowly sliding it in and out. I can feel his tongue slip in and my body shivers and he begins licking and sucking pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I feel my walls contract as my body shudders in pleasure, Max licks his lips clean before returning to me.

“Max I need you inside me” I speak boldly, he stops kissing my next and looks at me.
“Liz are you sure, I ‘m mean we’ve never taken that step” He sounds unsure, but I know that we shouldn’t be doing this but my body is winning and it wants it now.

“Yes I’m sure”, to show that I am I pull him down to me and pull our lips together, my fingers drag across his back and down to the rim of his shorts. One hand slips in and my finger wrap around his hardened member, I hear him his as my hand glides up and down his length. Using my hand I push Max back trying to keep my other hand in motion, with Max leaning back I lean over and kiss the tip of his penis.
“Liz. god”, I hear him bite out taking as much as I could I begin to swirl and suck and pump what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. I continue this till his hot cum shoots in my mouth, I shallow it hungrily and smile as I lay back naked and what as his eyes darken as they rake over my body.
I curl my finger signaling for him to come back and he smiles, our lips lock again and we begin dwelling, now I can feel his penis brush against my core dead on and I whimper in pleasure.
“Max I need you NOW” I emphasize the now and he looks at me unsurely, wrapping my legs around his waist I brace my shoulders against the arm of the couch. He guides his penis slowly into my wetness, slowly pushing passed my barrier, I hiss in pain, “I’m sorry Liz” his whispers into my ear. I feel him begin to slowly pull out and push slowly back in each inch causing me to feel more pleasure and full then ever before.
“Harder…Harder” He complies to my whispers and begins to push harder in and out of me, my hips grind into his loving the feeling of him. With each pump I feel me reaching my edge more and more, “god, Max…oh mi god”.
“Liz, Liz , Liz “ he says with each moment, as my body tightens and my body is filled with warmth I feel myself go over the edge again, I scream his name in pleasure as he does the same. He collapses softly onto me, I feel tired like never before and I feel my eyes flutter shut as I fall asleep to the rapid thumping of his heart…


--
TBC!
OK OK DON’T BE MAD!! IT ISN’T LIKE IT SEEMS!

Ok hello everyone, i'm in a rut! I have no idea what i am doing or how this will develope, if any wants to fb or pm me with what you wanna see happen, it would be appreciated!

So here we go

Part 8

“I like to watch you sleep at night, to hear you breath by my side”

I woke up and quickly remember what had happened that night, tears pricked at my eyes. I was still on the couch, Max sleeping still his arm draped over my waist hugging me close to his own body. As softly as I could I pulled out of his grip getting off the couch I kneeled next to him, as I brushed the hair from his forehead I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just let him in my life, it hurts too much with or without him I was stuck no where to go from here. Standing up I dressed quickly and headed upstairs to shower, it was only 6 am hopefully he would wake up soon that would be something tricky to explain to my parents.

Slipping out of my clothes, I turned the shower on and waited for the water to heat. Looking in the mirror for the first time in a week, I see a girl who looked deathly pale. Eyes swollen and dark purple bags forming under her eyes from the lack of sleep, I knew this girl was me. Stepping back I could see my body in the mirror, my small frame seemed smaller, I could see some shading from where bones were beginning to shine through. Turning to the side I stared as my stomach seemed to poke out, I pinched at the disgusting fat that came out of nowhere. When did I become so…fat? The question came as a shock for a second I never thought as myself as a girl who ever really cared.
*No wonder Max slept with all those women, he only took your virginity after you practically starved for a week!* A voice of myself seethed, answering out loud I replied.
“Shut up, that’s not true…” Some part of me believed it was, and another thought it was because he loved me and truly did.
*He could never love you, you can’t even follow what you said ‘lets be friends’, what a load of shit you couldn’t control your life if you were a vegetable*
“THAT’S A LIE!” Slamming my fist into counter, the pain and relief flooded me and the voice stopped. Tears slide down my cheeks slowly, steam slowly began filling the room, so flipping the radio on I stepped under the hot spray.

“Seems just like yesterday you seemed like a part of me
Everything felt so right “

“I’m barely hanging on!”

Kelly Clarkson’s words filled the room as I stepped out of the shower, the words almost hit home. Walking into the room I began singing along while dressing, I felt a new sense of freedom and excitement and I couldn’t figure out why.

“Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
Swallowed me and spitted me out
For hating you I blame myself
Seeing you kills me now
Now I don’t cry on the outside, anymmmmmmmmmoooooore”

After throwing on a pair of jeans and a brown leather belt with a cowgirl clasp, I searched for a shirt. Dropping on all fours I crawled around looking for the damn t-shirt, “Where the hell are you?”

“Where’s who?” A voice replied from my doorway, my heart stopped.
“What are you doing here Michael? It’s not even 8 and your up?!” I questioned standing up in only my bra and pants. I watched as Michael’s eyes darkened and his eyes traveled over my body. Crossing my arms over my chest I snapped, “Enjoy what you’re seeing?” Michael quickly blushed.

“Well I had a visitor this morning, he was pretty broken up”, Michael walked into my room and sat on the edge of my bed. “Max told me about last night, he’s all confused Liz.”

“Like I’m not Michael? I mean I gave him my damn virginity! I don’t know what happened Michael, I lost control...” *Like you always do*, the voice spit out.

“I just don’t know, Michael… he hurt me and I love him, my heart wants to forgive and be with him but my head keeps telling me to quit being foolish because in the end he can never return the feelings I have for him. It just doesn’t seem like a win loose situation more like a loose loose one”, I sat on the other side of Michael and leaned my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and held me while I fought back tears.

“Everything just seems all complicated suddenly; it’s weird like out of no where all these feelings and problem came they aren’t leaving”.

“Liz, we’ll get through it, no worries but this whole Max thing I don’t know. You two are so annoying I mean you love him he’s a jack ass even if he’s one of my friends he’s treated you like shit in the past and present and I hate to see you take it” I look up and smile at my best friend.

“Thanks, you always have a way of making me smile”, I stared for a second at him and as he looked back something flashed across his face but was gone before I could figure out was it was.

“Well how bout you and I go gets some breakfast and it’ll be just the two of us?” Michael asks smiling down at me. I stand up and grab a random shirt from my dresser; it’s a black tank top.
“Yes, sounds like a plan to me!” holding my arm out for Michael to grab it, he smiles as he loops his arm through mine.
“You look like a frigging cow girl” He laughs, I flash a grin and stop grabbing my belt I tilt it towards him, “I know, see!”
Mike glances at the belt and laughs, “Only you Parker, only you…”

----
*Max*
~All you Want is right here in front of you~

Pacing Michaels apartment, I debate whether or not to go to her house and just beg and plead till she listens…but I can’t do that. There are so many things I want to tell her and I know it killing me not too, and killing her. She looks so sick, but she still is so beautiful and can still see her…

/ Flashback/

Running my hand through her soft hair, I stare at her as she sleeps. I feel guilty for letting things go so far, I knew she would regret it in the morning. It killed me to think that I could ever have a relationship with someone as great as her and not like her. When Liz asked me out I had been shocked, she was one of my best friends and she knew what was going to happen. I wasn’t exactly a “bad” boyfriend, I told her what would happen but you know where that all lead.

“Max” her voice startles me for a second as I’m pulled from my thoughts, brushing the hair from her face my heart flutters to hear my name grace her lips once again. She’s sleeping still, I lean down and softly kiss her temple pulling her closer to me I can feel her breath on my chest sending me into my own slumber.

---End of Flashback----

“Jesus!” kicking the couch, I run my shaking hands through my hair and let out a ragged breath.

“You love her don’t you?” a females voice asks, I turn around and see Maria grinning like an idiot in the doorway.

“No, I don’t love her , I just care about her love … ha love, is there even such a thing?!” I bite out angrily, dropping on the couch.

“Obviously if you didn’t LOVE her then you wouldn’t be all loopy about loosing her...” Maria says pointedly. She walks over and sits beside me, placing her hand on my knee she begins talking again.

“Max I know you don’t believe in love or what not, but really Max what do you think love is?”

“Love…well love isn’t love the whole cant sleep eat or breath without them thing, it’s your bodies way of telling you that you need something. We are primal animals we want sex, and its simple you think you love someone when really it’s your bodies’ hormones getting all crazy like making you act so over the moon.” I answered; Maria shook her head and laughed.

“Well Max you’ve accomplished it”, I raise an eyebrow in confusion and she continues on, “Well you must have wanted to sound like an idiot cause damn right you do right now, do you even hear yourself?!”

“Maria it could be true, who are you to say it isn’t?” God it isn’t hard enough, now I have Maria on back too.

“Max I’m just telling you now that you EVER I mean EVER want to have Liz back in your life, maybe even more than friends your going to have to figure out what you want because this whole no love bull shit is tired”, leaving no room for protest Maria left with a very effective slamming of the door.

“Shit”


--
----Liz----

After driving an hour we finally pulled off the road to a small retro diner. Giggling as I walked in at all the Elvis memorabilia, I couldn’t believe they had this much UN matching colors in one place. An older woman whose named tag read Maggie sat us in and booth and handed each of us a sticky blue menu.

“I’ll be bah-k for ya’lls order in a jiffy” she said before walking off, I simply looked at Michael before I lost all control and began laughing so hard it hurt.

“Well it’s good to see you smile, finally” Michael said in all earnestly, calming down a little I stopped realizing it had been awhile since I smiled…except last night.

“Yeah it feels good…” Honestly I felt good, maybe I was getting over Max after all.

“So you kiddies ready to order??” Maggie asked one hand poised with pen over the pad, she looked about 60 and she stood with her hips rolled out.

“Yeah I’ll have the hound-dog special, with a glass of OJ thanks” Michael said first giving Maggie a wink.

“I’ll have a –“*A what? Fat deep fried in fat?* “Um, I mean um –yeah I’ll have the side salad” I finished unsurely. Michael stared at me with a raised eyebrow, “Sure thingy kids your order will be out in a bit… oh wait darling want anything to drink?”.

“Um, sure water with lemon please.” Feeling a bit nervous like she would bring me the wrong order and I would be stuck eating something disgusting and dipped in grease, I kept looking over my shoulder to the kitchen.

“Looking for something?” Michael asked noticing the strangeness in behavior.

“No, I was just looking at the kitchen I guess”. Playing with my fork and spoon that was still wrapped in the napkin I avoided Michael’s eyes like he’d be able to see right through me.

“Liz are you SURE everything is ok?”, finally I look at him and he smiles softly and places his hands over mine.

“Of course Michael it’s been a week since all that stuff happened I’m just moving on getting over it” I lied, I can’t help it how could I tell him that every waking moment I still think about Max. That even though I hate what he did time after time, I still love him and want him to hold me and to wake up in his arms. I couldn’t, how could I tell him that his friend who barely missed a single day of school was suddenly a week behind and with no plans of catching up. That his best friend was spiraling down the rabbit hole, and that she was going to hit the bottom fast and she had no idea how to stop herself.


--
TBC??? Do you likey?

Hey Everyone, I'm soooo sorry for not getting a new part out in a long time. My b/f was in a car accident 3 weeks ago and in the hospital in ICU for 3 days before dying on August 10th 2005. I promise I'll get another part out...

And during my grieving i felt the need to write something new so if anyones interested i'll tell you when i get that posted