Roswell Fanatics

I’m Liz Parker and I am going to prom. We are all going to prom. Zan is going to prom. I can’t really express how that makes me feel but every time I think about it, I feel a smile coming on. No matter what’s going on, I’ll have my senior prom.

Zan moved awkwardly. Mrs. Montgomery was so small, he was afraid he’d break her bones if he held on too tightly. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“We’ll take a break.” She nodded and let him sit down. “What’s on your mind, Zan?”

He rubbed his hands together for a moment, his eyes on the floor. “A couple things.” He took a deep breath before he looked up at her. “I got the application for my GED test but… I don’t have a last name. I don’t have a birth certificate or social security number or a driver’s license. Not even a worker’s permit.”

“You leave all that to me. Bring me your forms tomorrow.” Helen poured him a glass of juice and took a seat. “Was that all?”

“My friends are all going to the prom and Ava wants to go. I’ll take her. That’s why I’m learnin’ to dance… but I don’t know how to do all the stuff we have to do for the girls.”

“You ask your cousin, Max. He’ll tell you.” She knew he was stalling but she didn’t push him.

“Ava says… that she might be pregnant. I don’t know how I feel about it. We’re not sure and… it’s not the first time but… this is the first time we had lives to give up on. We were too young before to think about it…”

Helen nodded. “When will she know for sure?”

“I don’t know. She’s supposed to go to the clinic soon. She’s going to college… and… I want her to go. She should.”

“What was your first reaction?”

“I didn’t have one. She just said she took a test and that it came up wrong. It didn’t say… so she couldn’t say. I didn’t panic… and… It would probably be better if she wasn’t but… I think we feel the same way.”

“And what way is that?”

--

Liz sat down with Sheriff Valenti in the park. It was a nice day and it didn’t look like anyone cared why they were seated together at a picnic table on a Monday afternoon. “I guess you’re wondering why I asked you to meet me.”

“I can’t say that I didn’t for a few moments.” He took off his hat and placed it on the table between them.

“I guess I need to get a few things off of my chest and I know you need some answers but… I have to tell you that you won’t like it and you won’t want to understand it but I need you to understand me when I say that it’s most likely over and I am safe and so are your people in this town. It’s taken me a long time to come forward on this.”

“If it’s over, why tell me anything, Miss Parker?”

“I’m not going away to school, Sheriff. I’m staying in Roswell and things have happened here… I need to be able to live my life without the FBI looking into my case again.” She drew in a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it out, nice and slow. “I… am going through some changes… changes that began with the first abduction.” She picked at her fingernails but stopped immediately. She had visited the websites Kelen had sent her. She knew what self-injury was and how it started and how bad it could get if she gave in, even once. Meticulous measures ensured her healthy state of mind. “I… haven’t told my parents. They can barely handle the surface details… I can’t burden them with everything else just now.”

“What’s beneath the surface?”

“If I tell you everything, do you promise to trust my judgement?”

“Miss Parker, I believe you are very entrenched in something huge and as you keep coming to me, and trusting me with parts of that… I’m willing to extend you the same.”

--

“What do you want me to do about it?” Michael blurted out as he rang up a customer and glared at them until they went away. “Look. I have one thing good in my life. That’s your sister. What keeps her happy is me being open and charming and all that other crap which includes the flirting thing even though we’re already together and the non-verbal crap, which you do with Liz yourself…”

“Michael…”

“Look.” Michael jabbed Max in the shoulder. “I’m sorry that I remind her of the dickhead that did that to her. I can’t change my face or my genetics or my mannerisms. I know you’re concerned because if someone did that to Isabel and it was some fucker who looked like you, I might be asking you not to have moon-eyes or whatever… it is irrational to think I can change for her.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You can’t do anything for her.”

“But…”

“Max, I get that you want to be the guy that solves all her problems but that’s not one you can solve. That is something that’s in her head.” Michael tapped his skull. “It’s called a trigger.”

“How do you know that?” Max dropped a buck on the counter and opened a chocolate bar from a rack in front of him.

“Look who you’re talking to.” He glared at his friend and realized he had to spell it out. He glanced around the empty store. “Look, I can’t smell beer without tensing up. Okay? If I hear a door slam, I want to hide under the bed. It’s all in my head. It’s all psychological. I can’t help it. If I see a raised fist, I’m going to duck and not because it’s human nature but because I’m scared that it’s coming for me. It’s irrational but it happens just like Liz.”

“What do I do?” Max sagged against the counter, splashing in some Tabasco before taking a huge bite of chocolate. Not even that made him feel better.

“With me, you just leave me alone. I’m fine. With her… leave her alone. Let her deal with it and if she wants to talk, you listen. If you tell anyone what I said, I’ll tell them you said it to me because you’ve got a personal subscription to Cosmo.” Michael grabbed a box to restock a shelf.

“Is that where you got it?” Max lifted an eyebrow at his friend.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll tell them you write poetry.” He pointed to the rack. “It’s right there and I get bored.” He shrugged. “You can only read Metallica magazine so many times before you memorize it and there’s still three weeks before the new one comes out…”

“Do you read Martha and Family Circle, too?” Max snickered.

“Laugh now but when I’m giving you pointers on diaper changes and all that crap, you’ll thank me for having this crappy job.” They got quiet for a moment. “Did you hear about… Ava and Zan?”

“Yeah. Liz told me.”

“What do you think is gonna happen?” Michael watched Max shrug and had to keep talking. “A couple of years ago… man, I’d… panic. Since I had those dreams… it doesn’t seem so bad… I mean… it made me realize that I’d like that someday. Not soon, mind you… but later… you know… after I figure out what the hell I’m doing.”

“I haven’t talked to Zan since Ava told him.” Max hopped up on the counter and stared at that aisle with the condoms. “It has me thinking, though. Yeah, I think I want kids but not for like… ten years or something. I just… I’m not ready and Liz isn’t ready and I’d like to do things, right.”

“Um… you already screwed that pooch, Maxwell. Isn’t part of doing things right waiting for the church and the white dress and all that?”

“Like you did?”

“I had a biological urge and I followed it.”

“Please don’t say things like that.” Max groaned and hopped down. “It’s never going to stop being gross.”

--

Zan held his suit bag over his shoulder. He hadn’t wanted a tuxedo but Helen had already arranged him for a measurement. He had a tuxedo for Ava’s senior prom… and he was standing outside of the baby store, staring at all the little baby things. Jumpsuits and stuffed bears, tiny shoes and little socks. Spit rags and diapers. Strollers and bottles. Rattles and walkers. Before he knew it, he was inside, inspecting. A salesperson glanced at him but didn’t say anything. “What’s that for?”

“To extract mucus from their noses.”

Gross. “And that?”

“It’s a breast pump. Will your wife be breastfeeding?”

“Don’t know yet.” He fiddled with a baby toy. “What’s the point in all this stuff?”

“Maybe you should bring your wife back here and have her explain it to you.”

“Right. Probably have to marry her first.” Zan felt slightly sick to his stomach.

“Okay. I know that look. Sir, you need to go outside, take a deep breath and then go home. Can you do that or do I need to call someone for you?”

“I think I can do it.” He hurried to do as told. Once he was outside, he could breathe and he could move. What were they going to do if she was pregnant?

There is so much going on. Telling the Sheriff the truth about me was a huge step but I had to tell someone and I had to keep my channels open. Keep my resources fresh and I need to know that my friends and I are safe in Roswell. Hiding in plain sight and living normal lives as best as we can.

Isabel rapped her fingers on the counter. “Liz, how is she?”

“Okay. I talked to Kelen and he’s not on shift at the clinic until next week. I’m going to take her then.” Liz shrugged and peered over her shoulder at Ava who was busy with a large table. “She said Zan is taking it okay. She was afraid he’d get overwhelmed and backtrack over all the progress he’s made since he’s been back.”

“Liz…” Ava sank down onto a stool. “You’ve got to help me out. Those guys are jerks.”

“Yeah. I’ll be right there.” Liz nodded and got busy with the drink orders Ava handed her. “So… Zan is still okay?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t flip out but… I don’t think I can expect a reaction until I know something for certain. Before when it happened, we’d do it one thing at a time. Get a test and figure it out. It never really occurred to us that it could actually happen. We were just biding time until the minus sign popped up.” Ava arranged the glasses of soda on two trays. “This time just… feels different. I think Zan feels it, too.”

“Has he said…” Isabel motioned quickly.

“Nothing one way or the other. He’s just doin’ what he’s always done… waiting for the sign.”

Following one moment into the next, there’s just so little time between one thing and the next.

Liz showed off the dress. She had worked so hard on it. Her mother had her hand over her mouth as she looked it over. “Isn’t it a little low in the back?”

“Mom.” Liz sighed and picked up a magazine off the table. “This is what Maggie Jamison is wearing. I think my back is the least of your worries.”

“I worry about everything.” Nancy shook her head and stared at the dress. “It is nice. You did a great job.” She stared at that dress. “Maybe another strap across the back. Mostly decorative but it’d make me feel a whole lot better.”

“Mom.”

“Jeff!”

“Mom.” Liz groaned but did her best to stand up straight and turn for her father’s inspection.

“This is the dress she’s wearing at her twentieth wedding anniversary, right?” Jeff shook his head at the dress.

“Dad.” She held up the pattern. “It’s okay.” Then she held up the magazine. “Other girls wearing that. Me wearing this. You could still buy me one but it’ll cost you six times what it cost me to make this one.”

“You know, it doesn’t look that bad. She could wear a jacket.” Jeff suggested to his wife. “Or one of those drapey thingies.”

Liz crossed her arms as she squared off with them. “I’m eighteen. I can wear this dress. It’s not going to fall off or show too much. It’s fine.” They glanced at each other. “If I do the decorative strap? Half an inch?”

“One inch and we’re sold.” Nancy leapt in before Jeff could mess it up further.

“Fine.” Liz pulled out the pattern to study it. “Bottom of the ribcage.”

“That’s fine.”

“A tie, maybe?”

“Great.”

“Nancy.” Jeff started to protest.

“She’s on top of it. We’ll look at it once it’s done.” Nancy pushed him toward the door. “Just let us see it and I’ll trust your judgement on the fix.”

Liz rolled her eyes and flopped down on the bed when they were gone. The whole appeal of the dress could be ruined. She’d have to work around it. Max had taken to stroking her lower back in greeting her. It made all the blood rush to her face and she loved that feeling. When her phone rang, she knew who it was immediately. “Hi.”

“Hey… sorry, I didn’t stop by today.”

“Yeah, I missed you.”

“I talked to Michael…”

“Max… don’t… you’re just going to make him uncomfortable. It’s not like they do it on purpose. Please don’t say anything to Isabel.”

“It’s hard knowing they can make you feel that way.”

“Max…” Liz sighed and glanced at her computer where she had the screens up. “It’s not just them or the faces they make or the things they do. It’s a lot of stuff and it’s not all the time, it’s just sometimes.”

“Like what?”

“Max, no… you’re just gonna focus on it and that doesn’t help me.”

“What can I do?”

“Just… be there.” Liz sat up and sighed heavily into the phone. “I don’t need you to police everyone around me. I just need you.” She sniffed and found some anger to take out on him. “Are you going to carpet any cement floor before I get there? Are you going to take unnecessary cars to places to keep me out of sharing the backseat with someone in a small car? Are you going to stop every person on the planet from using the word ‘play’?”

“Liz… I…”

“Don’t say anything, Max. I don’t need you to say anything. Just be there for me. I feel just horrible that I even have to have this conversation.”

“There’s nothing to feel bad about.”

“But it doesn’t stop me from feeling that way.”

“What can I do?”

“Just love me.”

“That, I can definitely do.”

The closer I get to the end of school, the more agitated I get. I don’t quite understand it but sometimes I feel like I’m relapsing. Like I skipped too many steps in getting to where I am and they’re catching up to me. Maybe it’s just something I won’t ever get over… in fact, I probably won’t.

Liz stepped out onto her balcony and swallowed down the bile that threatened to enter her throat. The lounge chair was folded up and leaning against the wall where it had been since the fence had gone up. She knew he was down there. She didn’t know how she knew but she knew. Max was in the alley, kicking himself and wanting to climb up but afraid to scare her. Those little abilities were bugging the hell out of her.

After a deep breath, she started the trek across the balcony. The grill had been pushed aside after her father’s birthday. She hadn’t been out since then and that had been during the day. Before she knew it, she had the cool bars in her hands. Her hands tracing the ornate curls and twists before bringing herself to look over the edge where Max was sitting on a garbage can, his head in his hands. Taking off her hair clip, she threw it down at him. It was strangely satisfying to see him leap off the can like someone had just fired a shot into the alley. It took him a moment to figure out what had happened.

They met in the diner and sat at a table. Liz just stared at him a moment. “I knew you were down there.”

“How?”

“I just knew.” She glanced at the booth behind them. “You can’t sit there, can you?”

His eyes shot immediately to the booth they had shared late one night last August. In the light of day, it was okay to sit there. At night while they were alone in the Crashdown, he couldn’t step towards it. “No.”

“And you already told me that the pie makes you sick.” She reached for his hand. “Max… I know all that and I don’t try to fix it. I can’t… make you feel better about getting shot… and I can’t believe I let myself forget that you were.”

“Sometimes I wake up, feeling it burning me.” Max nodded to the table.

“Sometimes I wake up, feeling like there’s someone on top of me. You can’t stop that. I can’t stop you from feeling ill at the thought of Asteroid pie. Or from hearing the gunshot that I know haunts me from time to time when I think of that night. I can try to get over them on my own. I went out on my balcony tonight… because I knew you were down there. I nearly threw up twice and I never turned my back on the ledge for a minute but I did it.”

“I didn’t mean for you to…”

“I know. What did Michael say when you told him to cut it out?”

“Pretty much what you told me. He has his own triggers, he says. His… um… foster father was… tough.”

“And then some, I’m guessing.” They sat in silence for a while. “I talked to the Sheriff today.” His eyes went wide. “That’s a trigger. A big one, I’m guessing. I didn’t talk much about you. I talked about me and what’s going on with me. He’s a good guy. He even wears the white…. Um… beige hat. He agreed to help me before and he’s going to help us now. He trusts me and my judgement. I’m asking the same of you.”

“I do. I trust you. If you say he’s okay… I’ll trust you.” Max reached forward and took her hand, raising to his lips softly. “I’m sorry if I make you crazy.”

“It’s endearing that you worry so much but… let me worry about my… um… triggers. I will tell you if you can help. I can’t live everyday focusing on that stuff. I have to wake up and feel like it’s a normal day, every day.”

“You want me to sneak up? Give you some sweet dreams?” He pressed her hand against his face, just needing to feel her skin against his.

“Only if you can manage it without coming in across the balcony.”

“So that’s a no?”

“Yeah, that’s a no.” Liz shook her head at him as he kept kissing her hand. The back, then the palm and then the wrist. “I’m going to need that back when I go up stairs.”

“Going to do anything interesting with it?”

“Max!” She smacked him with her other hand. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He murmured into her palm. “Mind if I dream about you tonight?”

“Mind?”

“If I practice pleasuring you in my dreams?”

“I don’t think you need practice. You do just fine on natural talent.”

“Do I? Am I up to your standards?”

“You are my new standard.”

“You’re sucking up.”

“We don’t have time for that.”

“Now, who’s being naughty?”

TBC

just a couple more parts to go, folks.

Part 71
I’m Liz Parker and… well… Prom.

Ava fidgeted on the table. “Why do they have these paper thingies?”

“Sanitary reasons. You lay on it, you leave, they rip it off and roll some more out for the next person.” Liz explained from the chair.

“When is he comin’? I ain’t peed since yesterday and I gotta go.”

“He’ll be here soon.” Liz tried to reassure her panicking friend. She was never gladder to see Kelen and his little cup. “See, here he is.”

“We’re gonna try this manually so we’re sure to get a high concentration of hormones. So, here’s your cup. Go to it.”

“Finally.” Ava hopped off the table and ran out the door to the bathroom down the hall.

“So… it was a friend.” Kelen managed a smirk as he sat down to make some marks on the chart.

“I told you.” Liz wagged a finger at him. “I’m being responsible.”

“I’m glad… that you’re… that you’ve reached a comfortable point.” Kelen held the chart in his hands and tapped his pen against it.

“Are you officially Dr. Najera, yet?”

“Yes, I am. Mom and Dad are indifferent but I think that if they pulled their heads out of the clouds long enough, they’d be proud.”

“I’m proud.”

“Thank you.”

The door swung open admitting a relieved Ava. “Okay, hot stuff. You got my goods. Give me some good news.”

--

Zan handed over the I.D. and social security card Helen had procured for him and waited to be arrested but he was handed an answer sheet and asked to take a seat. He looked over the sheet and began filling in the necessary items, just memorized that morning.

Name: Montgomery, Zan. Birthday: 07/05/1983 …

--

“Is she okay?” Isabel hissed as she pulled her hair up into rollers.

“I think so.” Liz winced as she towel-dried her hair. “He took a sample to the lab to be sure but he did the test in the room with her. She asked me to leave. I don’t know what happened in there.”

Ava meticulously straightened her hair, fixing the color as she went. She had been nearly silent since emerging from the clinic and she hadn’t said a thing one way or the other about her predicament.

“I’m here!” Maria called in as she swung her dress onto the back of the door. “And I brought Debra. She’s joining us.”

“Hope you don’t mind.” Debra edged her way into the room. “Do we have enough room?”

“Plenty. I’ve got a mirror over the sink in the bathroom. There’s another in the bathroom down the hall and we turned the long mirror sideways.” Liz tapped the mirror she and Isabel were sharing. “Hang up your dress and pull up a piece of bed.”

--

Max tied Zan’s bow tie and straightened the lines of his tux. “How’d the test go?”

“Good, I think. I probably passed and all that. It was weird, man. I had to write my name down and I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.” He squinted at his reflection and the picture he made.

“What last name did you use?”

“Montgomery. I don’t know how she did it but she got me the stuff.” He took a breath. "I kept thinkin' they was gonna come in and tell me I had to leave because all my stuff was fake."

“Her father was a senator. I’m sure she has some ties some place high.” Max cleared his throat and turned to the mirror to tie his own tie. They looked strange. In tuxes with serious expressions on their cloned faces, Max clean-shaven and Zan with a small goatee and his piercings. “I don’t mean to bring you down or anything but… what are you going to do about Ava?”

“I don’t know. I gotta… do something. We’ll be okay for a while on that cash she got from the other one but… it ain’t gonna last forever. I gotta get a job and… make sure it’s gonna be okay, no matter what.”

“What if she’s pregnant?”

“I’m gonna take care of her.”

“Knock-knock!” Mrs. Evans pushed the door open and stood to look them over. “I know two young ladies who are going to get weak in the knees looking at the two of you.”

“Hey, you guys?” Michael called in over Mrs. Evans’ head. “Isabel said I’m supposed to use this stuff but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with it.”

“What do you have there?” She looked him over in his tux, minus a tie of any sort. “Hair gel?”

“I don’t use this stuff. I don’t know what she wants me to do.”

“She left me a diagram.” Diane tapped his shoulder and led him to the bathroom to fix his hair. “Come with me. We’ll see what we can do.”

“Should I?” Zan pointed to his hair, while not in his spikes, it wasn’t as tidy as Max’s either. It was getting pretty long and fell just shy of his eyes in front.

“Nah. Ava probably wouldn’t like it.” Max shook his head. “Are you ready? Alex and Freddy are going to be here with the limo soon.”

“Yeah.” Zan nodded. “Why am I nervous? It’s just a stupid party that I never woulda gone to in a million years before.”

“So why are you going?”

“Cause she wants to. She likes the whole school thing and… she wants to.”

--

Max felt his throat close up when he saw Liz walk through that door with her hair in long waves down her… bare back. She bit her lip and his mouth went completely dry. He fumbled with the corsage until it was safely pinned to the strap of her dress. “You look beautiful.”

“And you are very handsome.” She shivered when she felt his fingers slide along the skin of her back.

“Um… I like the way your dress feels.”

“That’s not my dress.”

“Michael, I like your hair.” Isabel kissed his cheek.

Zan and Max burst out laughing. Mrs. Evans had opted to go another direction with Michael’s hair. Zan sobered when he saw his Ava. Her pink and black hair fell softly on her shoulders and she shifted uncomfortably in a dress she never would have worn a year ago… but on her feet were her favorite pair of boots to match the ones he wore with his tux. “You clean up nice.”

“You look… like I ain’t never seen you.” He breathed out.

“That better be a good thing.”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s get the party started, guys.” Alex called out, in charge of the prom festivities. “The Parkers have requested a photography session here before we leave. Line up!”

All ten of them crammed as close together as they could while the Parkers and Mrs. DeLuca took pictures. Then they crammed into the limo and laughed their way to the gym for the prom where they stood in line for yet more pictures before announcements and the prom could really get started.

Liz laughed when Max got into the dancing and cut loose, egged on by Zan who was making fun of everyone else and the lame music. Maria and Freddy were asked more than once to put some space between them by chaperones. Alex and Debra disappeared on everyone before popping up again looking slightly disheveled. Michael and Isabel slow danced to every song.

The girls all covered their guys’ eyes when Pam Troy spilled out of her dress while fighting with Tuck Malamud. Everyone tried not to laugh too hard when Pauley got caught spiking the punch and ended up with the punch bowl on his head and a huge bump when he slipped trying to get up. The school nurse had to take him to be checked out.

Liz lay her head on Max’s shoulder and just let him guide her into the music. When her eyes found Zan and Ava, they were watching everyone else. Ava leaning back into him, their hands clasped over her stomach. “How scary is it going to be if she is pregnant?”

“I don’t know.”

“Nine months growth in a month… does that mean that… you and I could never possibly hope that one day in the… future to have children… because we’re not compatible that way?”

“It’s a little soon to be thinking about that.” Max rubbed her back with one hand and squeezed her other hand against his chest. “We’re graduating soon and then there’s college and finding a job and getting married and then… then we ask the question.”

“So, you think about it, too?”

“Yeah, I think about you and me and a white picket fence and the careers and the kids and… maybe a gerbil.”

“I want that.”

“I’ll make sure you get it.”

--

Liz bounced lightly on the bed when Max gently tossed her onto it. He shucked his jacket and pulled off her shoes. She reached back and pulled the tie that prevented her dress from being too scandalous for her parents. He climbed onto the bed behind her and ran his fingers down the bumps on her spine before reaching up to sweep her hair over her shoulder. “I’ve been wanting to do this all night.” His lips brushed against her shoulders, down the blades, down to the apex of fabric just covering her backside. His hands slipping inside the dress to slide it down her arms allowing him to caress her breasts, then her stomach and then… “You weren’t wearing underwear?”

“Surprise.” She turned to look at him over her shoulder. “Catch up… or I’ll start getting dressed again.”

"Well, I can't allow that." He murmured and sat up to remove his constricting tie, and his white shirt and that undershirt. Liz was busy ridding him of his shoes and socks. Together, they removed his pants and boxers… Then it was just the two of them, skin on skin. Max had to slow down to revel in the sensation. "I've missed touching you like this."

"Me too."

There was a burst of laughter and music when the room across the hall opened their door but Max and Liz forced it away. They had precious little time together and they had to make the most of it. Needing to brand each other with promises of love and happiness before their time was up.

It wasn’t great. It wasn’t exactly the best night of my life but it was fun and I spent it with my friends, whom I adore. And my boyfriend, whom I love.

Max bent his head to kiss Liz’s lips softly. They had an hour before she had to be home and most of that would be spent on cleaning up and getting dressed and travel time. He could stare at her for hours, the way her hair fanned out on the pillow, the rosy glow in her skin, her body beneath his. “Pinch me.”

Liz obliged and was welcomed with a sharp yelp and stern gaze. She lovingly rubbed the sore spot on his butt. “Don’t ask me to do these things if you don’t mean it.”

“I just feel like I’m dreaming sometimes.”

“Then I don’t ever want to wake up. I’ll stay here forever.”

“I love you, Liz Parker.”

“I love you, Max Evans.”

“Always?”

“And forever.”

--

Zan rubbed Ava’s stomach as they lay together, just existing. Every so often, he felt a tingling under his hand. Even though she had yet to say, they both knew. This time was different from all the other times. That this time there was a baby inside her. Zan looked up into her face when her hand stilled his. “You gonna marry me?”

“What?” Her eyes popped open to see if he was serious.

“So that he’s got my name.”

“You had that name all of one day and you already gotta have it on your kid?” She turned her head to look at him.

“Yeah.” He met her eyes. “I want it on you, too.”

“The shapeshifter said it was only gonna take a month.”

“Maybe he lied.”

“Maybe he didn’t. How are we gonna hide it?”

“It’s nobody’s business. School’s almost over and then what’s anybody gonna say?” Subconsciously he puffed up his chest, daring these fictitious people to question what was natural and right with his woman and baby.

"I'm scared." She admitted, her hands cradling her flat stomach that would somehow stretch to accommodate a baby in eight months less than it took humans. Those eight months were beginning to sound like a comfort.

His face softened as he attempted to reassure her that he had it all under control. "Don't be. I ain't gon let anything happen to you."

"What if it don't like me?"

"Tough luck. He's stuck with us." Zan kissed her shoulder, caressing her belly lightly. "I'll make it all okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise you anythin' I ain't done yet?"

"No."

"Okay then… so… what we gonna name him?"

"You seem pretty sure that it's gonna be a boy. What if it's a girl?"

"Then she's gonna need a name. A good one. Just so's she's got two. A first name and a last name."

--

Liz kissed Max goodnight and didn’t want to let him go so she could make the trek upstairs to her lonely little room. Finally, she did let him go and it was just in time. Max was backing away already when her father turned on the porch light. She kissed her dad goodnight as she passed him and made her way upstairs to her room, waving to her mother as she hummed to herself, genuinely happy.

Changing out of her dress and into some comfy clothes, Liz felt every sore muscle with a blush before sitting with her journal on the bed. Her fingers moved slowly at first, the magic of the night starting to wane as reality set in. Her eyes gazed on the final page as she opened herself up and wrote what she felt.

Whatever life decides to send our way, we’ll get through it. If Ava is pregnant, we’ll all help. If Zan flips out, we’ll help him out. If everything goes well, we’ll always know we’ll be there for each other. This secret binds us together. Who and What we are keeps us inextricably linked forever… and that's a comfort. A powerful comfort.

I’m Liz Parker and this is the last entry in my journal. I still have hopes and dreams. I don’t know where life will take me next but that’s an adventure I’m not afraid to try. Maybe I’ll leave Roswell eventually and maybe I’ll stay here but wherever I end up, I know that it will be with Max by my side. I may never tell Maria and Alex about what’s really been going on but I know they’ll be there for me for however long I need them. I’ll be there for them. A lot can change in an instant and I’ll be ready. I’m ready to see how I can press forward and be me without crutches and excuses and all the other band-aids that just look pretty when everything underneath is still a mess.

Tonight was my prom night and I made it through without incident. No one died. No one ran away. No one fought. It could have been an awkward evening for several of us but it wasn’t. We all had fun. We all got to have our night and I will remember that long after these pages have turned yellow and the ink has faded.

I’m Liz Parker and I am a survivor and an active participant in this crazy alien life of mine. That in itself is an amazing thing.

Liz closed her journal and wrapped it with two large rubberbands. Silently and carefully, she eased out onto the balcony and to the loose brick she’d discovered. She slid out the brick and slid the book in. She put the brick back and stared at it for a while. Kissing her fingers, she brushed them over the brick, wondering if she’d always remember where she hid it.

TBC

I decided to go ahead and post early and possibly post the last part on Friday because it is finished. '-) I haven't felt this good ending a fic since I finished Twister. '-)

Epilogue

Liz paced behind the counter and looked up when Max entered. "Did you find her?" She teared up for the thousandth time when he shook his head that no he hadn't found their daughter. "Where could she be?"

"I'm sure she'll turn up, Liz." Her father hugged her tightly.

"I've told her and told her that she has to keep her phone on. She has to let me know where she's going." Liz grabbed a bunch of napkins to wipe at her eyes and nose. "It was such a stupid fight. I hate when I get like that."

"Liz…" Max sat down at the counter. "It's gonna be okay. She's just… 16."

"What was the fight about?" Jeff guided Liz into a seat and got her a glass of water.

"Liz and I decided that she's too young to date alone. Double dates were the compromise." Max explained, his eyes on his wife who was picking at her fingernails. He folded her hands in his to stop her from picking at them until they bled. "Toni blew up that we were being too restrictive and she… accused Liz of never knowing what it was like to have fun in her entirely too long and boring life. She stormed out. That was last night. Sheriff Valenti says we have to wait until tonight to declare her missing because she ran out on her own."

"Am I so wrong for wanting her protected?" Liz looked from her husband to her father. "Am I?"

"I know what you're worried about and it's not wrong." Jeff leaned on the counter to look over his grown daughter. "I'm also given to understand that Toni has some powers at her disposal to keep her out of trouble."

"I know. I know but I still worry." Liz leaned on her husband. "I just… I've been triggering for days. Random things have set me off and I was supposed to see the doctor last night and I didn't because of the fight. I saw her talking to that boy and the way he looked at her… I… just… went off."

"Dad, I'm here. I'll call you later." Helen burst in, clapping shut her cellphone. She slid into the seat next to Max and began scribbling things down. "Dad says he's still looking. Grandpa says to call him on this number in half an hour when he gets out of court."

"Thanks, Hel." Max took the piece of paper. "Has she called you?"

"No." Helen shook her head. "It's still early. She could still turn up."

"This confirms it. You're my favorite child." Liz joked lamely.

"Until Dad signs those adoption papers, I think I'm still his." Helen got up to kiss Liz's cheek. "Hey, give Mom a call and tell her that pink and black hair was so early Millennium and she should go blonde."

"Your mother hasn't changed her hair color since high school." Liz needed the small smile. "Get out of here. Don't you have clients to defend?"

"Grandpa won't let me practice until I observe a few more. He's being overprotective. He thinks these crusty old men are going to pull one over on me." She smiled brightly in true lawyer fashion. "He forgets. I'm a Montgomery. You don't pull one over on a Montgomery."

--

Toni Evans climbed up the fire escape, leapt over the fence and scurried to the window to look in. Everyone was downstairs. She wasn't ready to face them yet. Sweeping her hand over the lounge chair, she cleansed it of webs and creepy critters so she could lounge in the sun and get an early start on her tan. She lay very still for a while and watched a bird chasing spiders on the balcony. Then a bird chased a spider up the wall and kept pecking at a little space until it got its prize and flew away, knocking a piece of brick onto the ground. It bugged her. She got up to fix it and that's when she noticed the space where the spider had hidden. It was deep. Sticking her finger in there, she felt the brick move. Using her powers, she pried it out to look inside. Lighting up a couple of fingers, she reached in and saw it. A long, flat book wrapped in rubberbands. Brushing aside dust and spiders, she pulled it out. "I wonder how long this was in there."

The rubberbands snapped when she tugged on them, solving that problem for her. Sitting on the lounge chair, she opened it up and was greeted with a musty, moldy smell. "Gross." The first line grabbed her attention: I'm Liz Parker and an amazing thing happened today. I survived. "Mom?"

There she sat, reading and absorbing page after page of her mother's life. The sun rising to its Zenith and back down toward the earth before she'd finished. Closing it, she held it against her chest and thanked whoever cared that she did not have her mother's gift for visions. Reading that was hard enough.

"Christine Anthony Evans!" Her father's voice boomed through the glass before he opened the window. "We have been worried sick and you've been here the whole time?" When he climbed out and moved around to face her, he found her with tears in her eyes. "We called the cops. We were about to file a missing persons report."

"I'm sorry." She clutched the journal to her chest. "How come Mom never told me about what happened?"

"What are you talking about?" He took the book when she handed it to him. He recognized it immediately. "Where did you get that?"

"I found it. I knew Mom never came out here but I didn't know why… why didn't she ever say?"

"It's not something she likes to talk about… to anyone." Max sighed and opened it up to a random page: I'm Liz Parker and I don't know why I bother to give Max advice, he never takes it. I know he's not completely serious... "I only know because I was there for her afterward."

"You lied. You said you and Mom had only ever been with each other." She argued but she had lost any of the fire she'd had the night before when she'd said those awful things about her mother not knowing what it was like to have adventures.

"I did not lie. I said Mom and I had only ever made love to each other. That is true. It's in the semantics."

"Mom named me after Dr. Najera's brother?"

"Yeah." Max nodded and sat on the black top to hold the journal between his hands. "She wanted a piece of him to live on forever. They had a connection… even if it was for a little while. Sometimes Mom just needs to do things to feel like the world is balanced." He looked up at his daughter. "She's not punishing you. She just wants to protect you. You read this stuff… I helped her live it. Come on. She's downstairs with Zan, Ava and Helen."

"I should go apologize, shouldn't I?"

"I would think so." Max nodded and just as they were about to go, Liz stepped into the bedroom and didn't even think. She stormed across the room and climbed out onto the balcony, the sunset coloring her with her angry red mood. "Liz… wait."

"You listen here, Christine Anthony. I did not raise you to speak to me that way and running away is never okay. Never!" Liz went off and immediately stopped when her daughter launched herself into her arms. Liz cooled off and held her daughter. "You can't do things like that. You scared me to death. I was imagining all sorts of bad things. There's a lot of desert out there… ditches and caves…" She ran her fingers through Toni's hair. "Strangers give drugs to teenagers."

"Liz." Max scoffed. "They don't hand it out like candy and I think we can trust Toni isn't on drugs."

Liz watched Max sitting there on the floor for a minute before clearing her throat. "Toni, I think you're grounded for a week, just for making us worry."

"I'll back that up." Max nodded.

"I… overreacted about the dating thing. Let's compromise on what Dad and I wanted." Liz stared up at the sky with its millions of stars. "New boys on double dates. Boys we know and have all their information, you can date alone."

"That's what you weren't listening to." Toni pulled back to look at her mother. "Pete asked me out. You know Pete."

"Peter Whitman?" Liz blinked at her daughter.

"Yes, Peter Whitman. You know all about him and his parents… since… you know… you were friends with them since birth."

"Oh… Well…"

"Then, it's fine." Max answered for his dumbfounded wife. "Next time… just… try harder to talk to us… and this date… comes after time served."

Helen poked her head out onto the balcony. "Heya, squirt. Daddy says you're gonna get it when he catches you."

"He's not laying a hand on my child." Max shook his head at her.

"Daddy says he's entitled for mental anguish. He was sincerely worried that she might be dead in a ditch somewhere."

"He'll have to pry her from my cold dead arms." Liz played along, squeezing her daughter tightly. She only had the one. She had to take care of her.

"Hel!" Xavier Montgomery charged into the room. "Mom says you gotta come home for dinner since yous not workin'."

"Yeah, yeah." Hel waved off her not-so little brother. "Quit talking like Dad. You're an adult now."

"Okay… let's move it inside." Max got up finally to help Toni through the window. He turned to find Liz rooted to the spot. "Liz?"

"What's today?"

"April 15th." He answered her.

"I haven't been up here in 22 years, Max." Her eyes swept the balcony bathed in shadows. Echoes in her mind from that night in the fall of 2001. Her eyes shot to the brick in the wall. "Where is it?"

"Right here." Max held the journal out to her. "Go on. It's okay to go inside first."

"I don't remember climbing out here."

"You never had a reason to climb out here before."

"I'm okay, right?"

"You're beautiful."

Liz stared out at the iron bars, rusted with age. Over the lounge chair, laid out and inviting. At the sky with its many possibilities. She turned her back on it all and moved purposefully to the window and climbed through without looking over her shoulder. Max climbed in after her and shut the window, locking it for her. "Max…"

"I know." He wrapped his arms around her, tossing the journal onto the desk.

"I have to reschedule the group so they know I didn't abandon them."

"They'll understand."

"No, they won't." Liz shook her head. "They have to know that I'm there. They won't understand that I had a personal crisis. They aren't that far removed from their own trauma."

Max held on to his wife, waiting for her to calm down. "You have your daughter where you can see her. You went out there, unafraid, tonight, Liz. You should have seen you. It was gorgeous. You missed your personal session last night. You missed group tonight but it's okay. They will understand… and if they don't, you will tell them what happened and they will understand. It will be okay."

"Yes. It will be okay." Liz nodded and leaned into him, her rock over all these years. Finally, she relaxed and his arms loosened a bit. "Do you think his stomach rumbles when he sees her?"

"I'll put money on it. She looks just like you did at that age and I know mine never quit doing somersaults when you walk into a room."

"It's Peter Whitman, Max."

"I know."

"He's a sweet boy, just like his dad."

"I know."

"Max! Liz! Mom and Dad said to get your butts downstairs." Helen called into the room. "Only they didn't ask as nicely as I did."

"Are Michael and Isabel here yet?" Max cleared his throat.

"Yes and the little brood too."

"Is your boyfriend here?" Liz called out.

"He's not my boyfriend. He wishes he was my boyfriend."

"Is he here?"

"That's beside the point."

"I have to meet this young man." Max moved them to the door finally.

"Max… no…" Helen whined. "Daddy is already flexing on him and you're gonna scare him off."

"It's my job." Max kissed her forehead.

Liz started to let him guide her out but turned back for the journal. She tucked it under her arm. "Did she read it?"

"I think so."

"I didn't want to tell her that way."

"It's okay." Max whispered as they descended the stairs to join everyone who had gathered. Sheriff Valenti had sat Toni down and lectured her on the importance of being responsible and sensitive to her poor parents' hearts. The Parkers were sitting in a booth while the Evans chatted and shared pictures from little Amanda's recital that morning. Michael and Isabel where trying to break up a fight between Amanda and Stephen. Zan had Ava on his lap next to Xavier and Helen's boyfriend, who looked more than nervous in his suit and tie.

After a bit of prodding, Max got Liz to take a seat across from Zan and Ava. She managed a smile for them all. Max slid in next to her, passed on the pie being offered, and got right into grilling this kid… Richard somebody who had just made associate at his firm and seemed to think he was good enough for Helen Montgomery. He wrapped his arm around Toni when she eventually joined them.

Liz stared at her journal for a long while, like she was remembering an old friend she hadn't seen in years. She looked up to watch Helen pull up a chair and greet her father with a grace deserving of her namesake. She made eyes at Richard over them all. Right, he wasn't her boyfriend.

Max kissed her temple and warned her that she'd better smile or she'd get questions all night about whether or not she was okay. They talked about the bank for two seconds and when their eyes started to glaze over, Max asked Zan about the historical district. He grunted a fuck off and nudged his wife. Ava shrugged and said that teaching a bunch of brats was trying, especially with Toni, Peter, Stephen and their friends all in her classes.

Zan kicked Toni's shoe. "What's this mess about runnin' away? You don't do that. We'll track you down."

"It won't happen again."

"It had better not or I'll take you over my knee." He patted his knee when Ava got up to get something to drink.

"If you spank my child, Helen gets back-spanks." Max warned.

"What for?" Helen protested.

"For taking my car when you were 15, for 'borrowing' money when you were a teen punk, for having boyfriends over when you were supposed to be babysitting. Shall I go on?" Max cleared his throat.

"Didn't I say I'd be your counsel free of charge, should you never need it?"

"Talk to me when you pass the bar." Max grunted. He hugged his ladies to him. "Time to go home, gals."

"Daddy."

"Don't Daddy, me. We're not going to let you sit here and have fun when you're supposed to be starting your sentence." Max got them out of the booth to make their rounds of goodbyes.

Liz climbed into the backseat with Toni for the ride home. Max kept silent as he navigated the streets of Roswell. Liz held the journal on her lap. "In one way, I'm upset because I didn't want you to find out this way… in another way, I'm relieved because I don't like telling the story. If I am overprotective, this is why. I don't mean to shelter you from life. Ours is just… sometimes scarier than most."

"I know that."

"I didn't describe in here some of the things that happened because they are forever burned on the inside of my eyelids. Daddy has some of the same things in his mind. When we get home tonight, we're going to tell you everything so you understand."

"I'm ready. Tell me everything."

The END