Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 4:31 pm
7:35 AM Monday, Monterrey Elementary School, Roswell NM
Ms. Umbrage was a little irritated as she prepared the paperwork. It was all that damn Evans kid's fault. He SHOULD have been in a special needs class, and if that obnoxious mother of his had just signed the paperwork, none of this would now be necessary. What was especially galling was that now Monterrey Elementary would be losing Elizabeth Parker as well. How each school did on the yearly standardized tests was important not just for bragging rights, but for career progression for the principals of each school, and "the perfect Miss Parker" certainly dragged the overall average up considerably.
But Mary Umbrage's belief was that if you were going to get ahead in education, you could never EVER admit you were wrong. So Liz Parker would have to be sent to another school, '...all because those damn students witnessed the scorpions..,' and if it had even JUST been Kyle Valenti again...well, even that she might have been able to cover up as just another student sticking up for his classmates...but two students? ....and an actual fossil...surrounded by dead scorpions...? No, it was just too bad about losing the girl's brainpower for the annual tests...but both students had to go...Evans to special education...Parker to somewhere that she wouldn't run across Mr. Raff...or anyone else that could verify her story.
Fortunately...none of this was very hard. Principals had considerable discretion on how to hide their mistakes and in Ms. Umbrage's case, a fair amount of prior experience. She could, if Mrs. Parker balked, caution her on what a reputation for lying might do to her daughter's future academic success, and as for Mrs. Evans....she could almost hear it now...'Why Mrs Evans...I believe it's critical young Maxwell get special education...perhaps if he's successful there we can lose his prior records of assaulting and molesting his classmates...' She'd cave...parents always did.
But as she was hard at work at the computer, filling in the narrative for the transfers, Mary Umbrage gazed out the window at motion in the parking lot. The two cars had arrived almost simultaneously and there they were...Mrs. Evans and Mrs. Parker....leading their children toward the entrance nearest Miss Graham's class. Umbrage jumped from her seat and hurried out to cut them off. Sooner or later Miss Graham would likely know there had been scorpions found. She needed to keep either of the mother's from talking to her...otherwise the cat was going to be out of the bag....
Diane had figured that casually bringing the two kids back to class would get things going pretty quickly, and she wasn't disappointed when Mary Umbrage came hurryong out of the building to meet them, even before they had cleared the parking lot.
"Mrs. Evans...Mrs. Parker.....I thought I made myself clear...that your children were NOT to be returned to school until you had written instructions on where and when to return them.."
"I'm terribly sorry..." said Diane. "...but the children do need to get an education. We thought perhaps they could go back...just until the paperwork is ready." Nancy nodded her head in agreement.
"Well....no that wouldn't do...but come back to my office...I have the paperwork almost completed."
The two mothers shepherded their children to the office, following the principal and were soon seated with Max and Isabel in the conference room. It was less than five minutes before Mary Umbrage came back in to the room...signed the paperwork..and handed copies to both women. Diane Evans looked over the paperwork, smiling as she saw the cause for the suspensions.
"So Max is being suspended and then will be transferred after being cleared by the school district psychologist for molesting another student and Liz is being suspended and transferred for lying about inappropriate touching and lying for the purpose of concealing an assault upon herself...it that correct, Mrs. Umbrage?"
"That is entirely correct, Mrs. Evans. Here is the telephone number to call for an appointment with the district psychologist....I have already fax'ed him copies of the forms detailing your son's actions. Do you have any questions?"
"Well....yes," said Diane, "...would you care to hear about the charges against you?"
"Charges against ME?" asked Umbrage.
"Yes...first of all...making false official statements. These are state government forms...making a false official statement is a violation of the New Mexico Administrative code. You have put information in these forms that you know to be untrue. The penalty for that misdemeanor is up to $1000 per occurence. Then we have slander against both of our children....Deputy Valenti asked that we include Kyle in this too...that would be three more misdemeanor counts...with damages to be determined by the jury. Slandering three young innocent children could potentially blight their academic careers...perhaps their whole lives. I'm going to really enjoy making THAT case to the jury...and then of course.., said Diane, brandishing the forms, "...you put it in WRITING.
That makes it LIBEL. That too would be a misdemeanor....What is that now, Nancy...nine counts?"
"I believe it's eight, Diane. Kyle wasn't mentioned on these forms...."
"Oh well, we're just getting started anyway. Now where were we? Oh yes...then you directed the school nurse to perform a physical exam upon Liz...without parental permission. That constitutes assault and battery of a child...a class three felony I believe. Since you did it in coordination with the school nurse, that would likely add another charge to the mix....conspiracy."
"But...but I only did it because she had been stung by scorpions..."
"But...it says right here that Liz LIED about being stung by scorpions."
"Well...that's right...she LIED about it...that's why we did that."
"So you believe that Janet Reynolds is going to back up what you said....that there was no real scorpion attack? Gee, that's not what she said in this deposition..."
"Well...if the school nurse made a mistake...I mean...if Mrs Reynolds is now changing her mind...saying that there might have been a scorpion attack...maybe we could somehow ...make this all go away. We could perhaps just forget about the whole thing...?"
"Like you forgot to tell us that the scorpion attack was real...?" asked Nancy, " ...that Mr. Raff let you know about it on the phone at the very same time we were in the room talking to you?" asked an increasingly angry Nancy Parker.
"Oh yes...we do have his deposition on that too, don't we...?" asked Diane rhetorically..taking a copy of the notarized document from her briefcase. "I believe we even have some dead scorpions to show the jury at trial...ones that Mr. Raff found on the floor of the arroyo when he found this beautiful trilobite specimen."
Nancy was suddenly holding Max very tightly against her...almost as tightly as she was holding Liz. "Do you have any idea what it must have been like for Max to crush scorpions to death with his bare hands, Ms. Umbrage? And his reward for saving my daughter? He gets called a liar...a child molester. Do you have any idea of the hell you've put us through? What you let us put these children through?"
"Oh, she will, Nancy," said Diane. "Before we get through with her...she'll know exactly what hell is like. And we haven't even gotten to the serious charges yet.....36 counts of practicing medicine without a license...and of course the class-action suit for damages for every one of those kids who was inappropriately diagnosed with ADD."
"I'm not saying another word until I speak to the school district's attorney." said Umbrage, trying her best to show bravado...but scared half to death.
The conference room door opened almost at once, and in stepped Bob Peterson.
"Sorry...I was outside listening...sounded like my cue. Diane...Nancy...good to see you again."
"Hello Mr. Peterson...," said Liz, shyly.
"Hi Liz,....Max. Uh...why don't the two of you go off to Miss Graham's class. I think you'll find the discussion here kind of...boring."
Liz really didn't think so, but she could tell all the conflict was making Max uneasy. She grabbed his hand and pulled... "Come on Max," she said, "...this is boring..." even though it really wasn't.
Ms. Umbrage was a little irritated as she prepared the paperwork. It was all that damn Evans kid's fault. He SHOULD have been in a special needs class, and if that obnoxious mother of his had just signed the paperwork, none of this would now be necessary. What was especially galling was that now Monterrey Elementary would be losing Elizabeth Parker as well. How each school did on the yearly standardized tests was important not just for bragging rights, but for career progression for the principals of each school, and "the perfect Miss Parker" certainly dragged the overall average up considerably.
But Mary Umbrage's belief was that if you were going to get ahead in education, you could never EVER admit you were wrong. So Liz Parker would have to be sent to another school, '...all because those damn students witnessed the scorpions..,' and if it had even JUST been Kyle Valenti again...well, even that she might have been able to cover up as just another student sticking up for his classmates...but two students? ....and an actual fossil...surrounded by dead scorpions...? No, it was just too bad about losing the girl's brainpower for the annual tests...but both students had to go...Evans to special education...Parker to somewhere that she wouldn't run across Mr. Raff...or anyone else that could verify her story.
Fortunately...none of this was very hard. Principals had considerable discretion on how to hide their mistakes and in Ms. Umbrage's case, a fair amount of prior experience. She could, if Mrs. Parker balked, caution her on what a reputation for lying might do to her daughter's future academic success, and as for Mrs. Evans....she could almost hear it now...'Why Mrs Evans...I believe it's critical young Maxwell get special education...perhaps if he's successful there we can lose his prior records of assaulting and molesting his classmates...' She'd cave...parents always did.
But as she was hard at work at the computer, filling in the narrative for the transfers, Mary Umbrage gazed out the window at motion in the parking lot. The two cars had arrived almost simultaneously and there they were...Mrs. Evans and Mrs. Parker....leading their children toward the entrance nearest Miss Graham's class. Umbrage jumped from her seat and hurried out to cut them off. Sooner or later Miss Graham would likely know there had been scorpions found. She needed to keep either of the mother's from talking to her...otherwise the cat was going to be out of the bag....
Diane had figured that casually bringing the two kids back to class would get things going pretty quickly, and she wasn't disappointed when Mary Umbrage came hurryong out of the building to meet them, even before they had cleared the parking lot.
"Mrs. Evans...Mrs. Parker.....I thought I made myself clear...that your children were NOT to be returned to school until you had written instructions on where and when to return them.."
"I'm terribly sorry..." said Diane. "...but the children do need to get an education. We thought perhaps they could go back...just until the paperwork is ready." Nancy nodded her head in agreement.
"Well....no that wouldn't do...but come back to my office...I have the paperwork almost completed."
The two mothers shepherded their children to the office, following the principal and were soon seated with Max and Isabel in the conference room. It was less than five minutes before Mary Umbrage came back in to the room...signed the paperwork..and handed copies to both women. Diane Evans looked over the paperwork, smiling as she saw the cause for the suspensions.
"So Max is being suspended and then will be transferred after being cleared by the school district psychologist for molesting another student and Liz is being suspended and transferred for lying about inappropriate touching and lying for the purpose of concealing an assault upon herself...it that correct, Mrs. Umbrage?"
"That is entirely correct, Mrs. Evans. Here is the telephone number to call for an appointment with the district psychologist....I have already fax'ed him copies of the forms detailing your son's actions. Do you have any questions?"
"Well....yes," said Diane, "...would you care to hear about the charges against you?"
"Charges against ME?" asked Umbrage.
"Yes...first of all...making false official statements. These are state government forms...making a false official statement is a violation of the New Mexico Administrative code. You have put information in these forms that you know to be untrue. The penalty for that misdemeanor is up to $1000 per occurence. Then we have slander against both of our children....Deputy Valenti asked that we include Kyle in this too...that would be three more misdemeanor counts...with damages to be determined by the jury. Slandering three young innocent children could potentially blight their academic careers...perhaps their whole lives. I'm going to really enjoy making THAT case to the jury...and then of course.., said Diane, brandishing the forms, "...you put it in WRITING.
That makes it LIBEL. That too would be a misdemeanor....What is that now, Nancy...nine counts?"
"I believe it's eight, Diane. Kyle wasn't mentioned on these forms...."
"Oh well, we're just getting started anyway. Now where were we? Oh yes...then you directed the school nurse to perform a physical exam upon Liz...without parental permission. That constitutes assault and battery of a child...a class three felony I believe. Since you did it in coordination with the school nurse, that would likely add another charge to the mix....conspiracy."
"But...but I only did it because she had been stung by scorpions..."
"But...it says right here that Liz LIED about being stung by scorpions."
"Well...that's right...she LIED about it...that's why we did that."
"So you believe that Janet Reynolds is going to back up what you said....that there was no real scorpion attack? Gee, that's not what she said in this deposition..."
"Well...if the school nurse made a mistake...I mean...if Mrs Reynolds is now changing her mind...saying that there might have been a scorpion attack...maybe we could somehow ...make this all go away. We could perhaps just forget about the whole thing...?"
"Like you forgot to tell us that the scorpion attack was real...?" asked Nancy, " ...that Mr. Raff let you know about it on the phone at the very same time we were in the room talking to you?" asked an increasingly angry Nancy Parker.
"Oh yes...we do have his deposition on that too, don't we...?" asked Diane rhetorically..taking a copy of the notarized document from her briefcase. "I believe we even have some dead scorpions to show the jury at trial...ones that Mr. Raff found on the floor of the arroyo when he found this beautiful trilobite specimen."
Nancy was suddenly holding Max very tightly against her...almost as tightly as she was holding Liz. "Do you have any idea what it must have been like for Max to crush scorpions to death with his bare hands, Ms. Umbrage? And his reward for saving my daughter? He gets called a liar...a child molester. Do you have any idea of the hell you've put us through? What you let us put these children through?"
"Oh, she will, Nancy," said Diane. "Before we get through with her...she'll know exactly what hell is like. And we haven't even gotten to the serious charges yet.....36 counts of practicing medicine without a license...and of course the class-action suit for damages for every one of those kids who was inappropriately diagnosed with ADD."
"I'm not saying another word until I speak to the school district's attorney." said Umbrage, trying her best to show bravado...but scared half to death.
The conference room door opened almost at once, and in stepped Bob Peterson.
"Sorry...I was outside listening...sounded like my cue. Diane...Nancy...good to see you again."
"Hello Mr. Peterson...," said Liz, shyly.
"Hi Liz,....Max. Uh...why don't the two of you go off to Miss Graham's class. I think you'll find the discussion here kind of...boring."
Liz really didn't think so, but she could tell all the conflict was making Max uneasy. She grabbed his hand and pulled... "Come on Max," she said, "...this is boring..." even though it really wasn't.