Re: Between The Covers (AU, M/L, MATURE) Part 48, pg 5, 3/10
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:53 am
Part Forty-Nine
“Liz!” I hear a frantic shout as the taxi pulls up outside of the halls and Maria and I step out.
I look up to see Isabel running towards us, an anxious expression on her face as she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.
“Are you okay?” she asks worriedly as she pulls back and looks down at me with concern. “We were so worried about you.”
“I’m fine, Iz,” I give a small smile as she links her arm in mine and we begin walking towards the building where James, Alex and Mike are waiting for us. “The whole night is just kind of a blur… I don’t remember all that much about it.”
“You should totally report that fucker to the police, Liz,” insists Michael, as we reach him and the others. “Who knows what he would have done to you if we hadn’t been there?”
“I don’t know if I can, Mike,” I shake my head sadly. “All I know is that his name is Dave… I bet there are tons of men named Dave in this city. I don’t even know if he’s a student or not.”
“I still think you should try,” he replies. “What if he tries it on someone else?”
“I know,” I murmur. “I just don’t know how I would go about finding out who he is.”
“Maybe you wouldn’t even need to do that,” suggests Maria. “Even if you don’t know his surname, we all got a good enough look at him to give the police a description… and I bet Max would be happy to give them evidence too – after all, he did give him a black eye over it.”
My head snaps to her in surprise, “He did?”
“Yeah,” Maria nods, “When you collapsed in the club, Max was there in a heartbeat. He punched the guy and had him pinned against the bar… but then he let go when he realised you needed help, and the bastard got away.”
“I didn’t know that,” I murmur softly, my head spinning with this new information.
“Look,” says Isabel then, “I think we should go down to the police station and tell them what we know anyway… maybe the police will be able to find him.”
“Okay,” I agree with a nod and although I’m not entirely sure I’m up to it, I allow Maria and Isabel to slide their arms in mine as the six of us walk down to the nearest police station to report what happened to me.
It’s a long, nerve-wracking experience, talking to the police, but afterwards I feel much better for it, especially when the police officer taking my statement assures me that they have had several similar reports over the last few months and are on the verge of catching the offender, and as we head back to the halls an hour later, my friends do the best they can to distract me.
“Hey, are you okay?” says James softly, reaching out to touch my arm comfortingly as we walk. “You did great in there just now.”
“Thanks, James,” I smile gratefully. “I’m okay, I think… I’m just tired and glad it’s over.”
“Don’t worry, Liz,” encourages Maria, as she grabs my arm. “We’re gonna cheer you up, okay? We’re gonna have some fun today and get your mind off things, alright?”
“Sounds good to me,” I nod, stopping for a moment to look around at everyone’s kind expressions. “Thanks, guys.”
“Right,” announces Isabel as we reach the halls. “First on the menu for today is a pamper session in your room and then this afternoon we’re having a barbecue.”
As Maria and Isabel drag me inside the building and up the stairs, I can’t help but smile at how wonderful they’re both being to me today.
***
“Okay, who wants a burger?” asks Mike from in front of the barbecue later that afternoon, as he holds up a plate of freshly cooked beef burgers.
“Ooh, me, please!” calls Maria, from her position on the blanket we’ve laid out on the ground for sunbathing and general lounging around.
“And me,” adds Alex.
“Me three,” says Isabel.
“What about you, Liz?” wonders Michael, holding the plate out me in invitation.
I shake my head, “No, I’m okay, thanks, Mike. I’ll wait for a hot dog.”
“James?” he asks then.
Beside me, James shakes his head, “Hot dog for me too, mate.”
He shrugs, moving back towards the barbecue, “Suit yourselves.”
“So, Jamie-boy,” starts Maria then, propping herself up on one elbow to take a look at James, “who is this Helen girl, then? You two seemed pretty cosy in the club last night.”
Ducking his head slightly, as he sends a sheepish smile in my direction, James shrugs, “She’s just a girl.”
Maria rolls her eyes at that, “Yeah, right, ‘just a girl’! At one point I thought the two of you were gonna suck each other’s faces off.”
I make a face, “Thanks for the mental image, Maria.”
“Okay, fine,” sighs James slightly reluctantly. “If you must know, she’s my girlfriend. We’ve been going out for about three weeks now.”
“Really?!” I sit up straight at his blunt confession. “James, that’s great! I’m so glad you finally got together.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” wonders Isabel, looking at James in confusion.
He shrugs, “Well, I didn’t want to jinx anything by announcing it too soon. She’s a postgrad, you see, and it took a bit of persuading for her to see me as more than just a fresher, so I wanted to keep things quiet until we had worked things out properly.”
“Good for you, James,” I smile, before adding silently, at least things are going well for one of us.
“Thanks, guys,” he smiles.
“Right then, here we go,” announces Mike a moment later. “Burgers for Maria, Alex and Iz…,” he hands them each a burger. “And hot dogs will be ready in a few.”
“Thanks, hun, you’re the best,” grins Maria as she takes her burger from him.
As Mike returns to the barbecue again, Isabel pipes up, “Hey, is it just me, or is something missing here?”
“It’s not just you, I was thinking that too,” agrees Maria, looking puzzled for a moment, before snapping her fingers in realisation. “Music! That’s what’s missing… we need music.”
“We could use the radio from our room again,” I suggest, climbing to my feet. “I’ll go and get it.”
“Thanks, Liz,” grins Maria.
“Back in a sec.”
I make my way around the side of the building, heading for the door, but just as I reach for me key to open it, a movement from the path catches my eye and I turn in surprise.
There he is, standing just a few feet away, hands in his pockets and an anxious expression on his face.
“Max?”
“Hi,” he says softly, as he takes a few steps towards me. “I just wanted to…” he trails off uncertainly, before asking, “How are you?”
I nod, “I’m okay.”
“Good. That’s good,” he says with a nod, his voice holding a hint of relief.
“So, um, how did your exam go this morning?”
“Okay,” he shrugs, obviously not that bothered about it.
I nod, unsure of what to say now. We stand there in uncomfortable silence for several moments, before I find myself awkwardly blurting out, “Thanks for last night. For saving me, I mean.”
“You were in trouble,” he shrugs self-consciously. “I couldn’t not help.”
“So does this mean you’re talking to me again now?” I query, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my tone. “That you’ve deemed me worthy of your presence?”
His eyes snap to mine as a fretful expression appears on his face and he takes another step towards me.
“Liz,” he murmurs, with a shake of his head. “I meant what I said last night. I’m sorry. For everything.”
“Is that so?” I raise an eyebrow. “Didn’t seem that way when you were deliberately ignoring me and refusing to answer my calls.”
Although half of me is tempted to give into the sincere, almost pleading expression on his face, the other half is still pretty pissed off with him.
“Please,” he says, lifting a hand to touch my arm. “Just let me explain.”
I watch him carefully for a moment, my heart torn between wanting to let him explain and feeling like I should be punishing him for hurting me, before I let out a sigh.
“Okay, fine. Explain.”
“Not here,” he mutters, looking around at our exposed position where anyone could walk past.
“Fine,” I sigh, moving away from the building entrance and round to a small, isolated corner, as I indicate for him to follow me.
My eyes involuntarily rake over his body, taking in his well-fitting T-shirt and snug jeans, as he comes to a stop in front of me and I feel my stomach clench in response. Apart from last night, when I was too out of it to realise what was going on, I haven’t been this close to him since that morning in the laundry room the other week… and his nearness now is wreaking havoc on my senses.
“So…?” I ask, self-consciously crossing my arms.
“So,” he says softly. There’s a tension-filled pause, before he speaks again, “God, Liz, you scared the life out of me last night. Seeing you collapse like that and realising what could have happened if I hadn’t been there…God…”
I nod in understanding, “Well, I’m glad you were there. Thank you.”
He looks at me, concern in his eyes, “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you.”
Despite his soft tone, I can’t help feeling a little angry at his words, “Really? The way you’ve been acting the last few weeks, I wouldn’t have thought I mattered to you one bit.”
“Liz, that’s not…” he trails off, seemingly searching for the right words.
“You’ve spent the last four weeks pretending that I don’t even exist. You’ve been ignoring my calls, refusing to come to the door when I try to talk to you and deliberately avoiding me,” I argue. “I don’t see how I can mean anything to you at all when you completely cut me out of your life like that.”
“Well, I’m fucking sorry, okay?” he retorts, stepping closer to me. “Excuse me if I’m having some issues at the moment.”
I sigh, “I know you’re having issues, okay? That’s not the problem here.”
“Then what the hell is the problem?” he returns, his voice sounding distressed now.
“Max,” I say gently. “The problem is that you seem to think that dealing with your issues means shutting me out of your life and refusing to talk to me.” I shake my head sadly, “Sophie was right; you’re being a stubborn idiot about all this.”
“God, she got to you too?” he raises an eyebrow incredulously. “Why can’t that girl just butt out of my life for once?”
“Because she’s worried about you, Max.”
“I’m fine,” he mutters.
I sigh, “You’re not fine. That much is obvious.”
As if I’ve said something he doesn’t want to hear, he stiffens suddenly and takes a step back, “I, uh, I’d better be off now. Just came to make sure you were okay…”
“Max…”
“… And to tell you I was sorry about before… but I guess that idea was kinda pointless, huh?”
“No, Max, wait,” I protest, breathing a sigh of relief when he stays where he is. “Look, I know I was wrong to say anything to Isabel and I also know that you have a lot to deal with right now. I understand that none of this is easy for you, but you shouldn’t have shut me out like that. You should have talked to me and let me explain.”
He lets out a sigh, raising his eyes to the heavens.
“I know that now… and I really am sorry,” he tells me, his expression anxious. “It was just that… everything got so overwhelming and… I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling, so I guess I took my frustrations out on you.”
“Yeah, I really appreciated that. Thanks,” I mutter, unable to prevent the feeling of hurt that his words invoke.
“Liz, please…”
“Sorry, Max,” I shake my head. “It’s just that you can’t make everything better just by saying you’re sorry… or by saving me from that lunatic last night. It’s gonna take a bit of time, and a lot of you making things up to me, to make it all right again.”
“Liz,” he murmurs, fixing me with a pleading expression that causes my insides to begin to melt, but I have to stay strong.
He’s been acting like a bastard for the last few weeks and he can’t expect me to take him back just like that.
“I need some time, okay, Max,” I tell him.
“Hey, Liz, have you got that radio yet?!” Maria’s shout from round the corner interrupts the tension-filled atmosphere between us and I sigh, realising that this isn’t the time or place for serious conversation. “We’re all waiting.”
“You should go,” I say softly.
“But…?” he frowns in confusion.
“Look, they’re starting to wonder where I am,” I explain. “I need to get back.”
“Right, okay,” he nods reluctantly. I start to move in the direction of the hall entrance again, but his fingers catch my elbow, “Wait a sec… can we meet later?”
I close my eyes briefly, “Max, I don’t know if–”
“Please?”
He’s giving me puppy-dog eyes again and with a sigh, I nod, “Okay, but I can’t today… how about tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah, tomorrow’s good,” he gives a small, relieved smile. “I’ll buy you breakfast… or brunch?”
“Sure,” I murmur softly. “I’ll meet you at that little café on Eastbury Street at nine-thirty tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
As I look up at him, my heart begins to race in response to his intense gaze and I feel my resolve crumbling. Despite everything that’s happened recently, he still has the power to make my knees go weak with just one look and right now I’m finding it hard to resist the call of his perfect lips. But it is with great difficulty that I take a step back from him and give a firm nod.
“Bye, Max.”
With steely determination I extract my elbow from his grip and walk towards the A block door to fetch the radio. Once inside, I lean my head back against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. Everything is so confusing right now; I just hope I’m doing the right thing here.
***
The next morning, I turn up at the café a few minutes early with the hope of securing a table and maybe consuming some much-needed caffeine before Max arrives. Unfortunately though, my plan flies out of the window as soon as I spot a familiar face standing just outside the small café… looks like he got here first instead. I just stand there, several feet away, as I observe him for several long seconds, before exhaling heavily and making my way towards him.
“Still smoking, huh?” I say with a small smile.
“What?” he looks over at me, slightly startled, before glancing down at the lit cigarette in his hand. “Oh… yeah.”
“So, I know I’m here early, but you wanna go in now?” I ask.
“Okay, sure,” he replies. “Let me just…”
He nods towards the cigarette, and I wait patiently as he lifts it to his lips and takes a long drag before dropping it to the floor and putting it out with his shoe.
“Okay, let’s go.”
We enter the small café and choose a small, isolated table in the corner so we can talk relatively undisturbed. Max orders two full English breakfasts and a pot of tea, but as we wait for the food, the atmosphere between us is awkward and tense.
“So, um, how are you?” asks Max eventually, as he fiddles with the small container of sugar packets in the middle of the table.
I shrug, “I’m okay. You?”
“Yeah…”
There’s another pause, the uncomfortable silence stretching between us once more as the pause gets longer and longer until eventually I can’t take it anymore.
“So, uh… how are things going with Isabel?”
“Yeah,” he nods, his eyes still fixed on the sugar packets. “They’re going well.”
“That’s good,” I smile. “It’s good that you two are talking again.”
“Yeah?” he looks up and raises an eyebrow at me. “I bet you’re loving this, aren’t you? After all, you are the one who ‘got the ball rolling’.”
I close my eyes briefly at his slightly sarcastic words, before shaking my head, “Max, you have to understand… I never meant to deliberately go behind your back, but Isabel was so upset and confused, and you wouldn’t talk to her… I just thought maybe if I gave her a small hint, it would be enough to get things in motion. And it was, right? I mean, you guys are doing pretty well now.”
“That’s not the point, though,” he murmurs, his attention on the sugar packets once again. “You promised you wouldn’t say anything… and you did.”
“I know… and I can’t apologise enough for that,” I tell him, leaning forward in my seat. “But you wouldn’t even let me explain, Max. You just totally shut me out of your life. What happened to communicating and working things out?”
With a heavy sigh, he lets go of the packets and lowers his head, pinching the top of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.
“I don’t know,” he mutters to himself, before looking up at me again, his expression anguished. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Max…” I murmur softly as I reach across and lay my hand on his arm.
“It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” he admits. “But it all happened so fast – the shock of finding out that you’d said something; the whole story coming out; finally talking to Isabel again – I was all over the place and you ended up being the one who got caught in the fallout. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay–” I start, but he cuts me off.
“No, it’s not okay,” he bites out harshly. “What the fuck was I thinking? I’ve been going around directing all this anger towards you and you were only trying to help. Shit.”
“Max,” I try again. “Look, you’re dealing with so much stuff right now, and it’s obvious that you’re not handling things very well…” I hesitate for a moment, debating whether I should voice my thoughts or not. In the end, I decide to just go for it, “Do you think maybe you should talk to someone about it? Get some help?”
Straightening up, he shrugs my hand off his arm and shakes his head, offering me a small smile, “No, no, I’m fine. I can deal with it myself. I don’t need to talk to anyone.”
“Are you sure?” I question, a slight frown of concern on my face. “It might do you some good.”
I don’t want to push him into anything he’s not comfortable with, but at the same time, it’s pretty obvious that he’s struggling to deal with his emotions right now.
“I’m sure,” he smiles again, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m okay. Honest.”
“Max…” I murmur gently, looking up at him worriedly.
“Liz,” he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” I agree reluctantly, although it’s kind of obvious that he’s more troubled than he wants to let on.
We sit there in another awkward silence for a few moments, before the waitress returns to the table with our pot of tea and food. I smile and thank her, grateful for the distraction, and as she leaves I begin tucking into the large plate of bacon and eggs.
“Liz?”
“Yeah?” I lift me head to find Max looking at me searchingly.
“I miss you.”
The declaration is so blunt and emotion-filled that it tugs at my heart and for a moment, all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I’ve missed him too, but then the memory of how difficult and lonely the last few weeks have been flits through my mind and I find myself shaking my head.
“Max…” I murmur sadly.
“I know you said you needed some time,” he acknowledges, “and I know that I’ve hurt you, but I just miss you.”
As I look into his sad eyes, I find myself admitting, “I miss you too.”
A small smile appears on his face as he reaches across the table and covers my hand with his, “You do?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “But, Max, I really do need some time.”
His face falls and he quickly removes his hand, “Yeah… right. Okay.”
I sigh, “Look, I know you’re sorry, Max and I understand that this is a hard time for you, but it’s not as simple as all that. Like I said before, you’ve got some making up to do.”
“Okay, I get it,” he sighs, looking down at his plate. “Well, I’m buying you breakfast this morning… surely that counts for something?”
I can’t help but smile as I say softly, “It’s a start.”
He gives a small smile in return and he nods, “Okay, then. It’s a start.”
TBC…
“Liz!” I hear a frantic shout as the taxi pulls up outside of the halls and Maria and I step out.
I look up to see Isabel running towards us, an anxious expression on her face as she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.
“Are you okay?” she asks worriedly as she pulls back and looks down at me with concern. “We were so worried about you.”
“I’m fine, Iz,” I give a small smile as she links her arm in mine and we begin walking towards the building where James, Alex and Mike are waiting for us. “The whole night is just kind of a blur… I don’t remember all that much about it.”
“You should totally report that fucker to the police, Liz,” insists Michael, as we reach him and the others. “Who knows what he would have done to you if we hadn’t been there?”
“I don’t know if I can, Mike,” I shake my head sadly. “All I know is that his name is Dave… I bet there are tons of men named Dave in this city. I don’t even know if he’s a student or not.”
“I still think you should try,” he replies. “What if he tries it on someone else?”
“I know,” I murmur. “I just don’t know how I would go about finding out who he is.”
“Maybe you wouldn’t even need to do that,” suggests Maria. “Even if you don’t know his surname, we all got a good enough look at him to give the police a description… and I bet Max would be happy to give them evidence too – after all, he did give him a black eye over it.”
My head snaps to her in surprise, “He did?”
“Yeah,” Maria nods, “When you collapsed in the club, Max was there in a heartbeat. He punched the guy and had him pinned against the bar… but then he let go when he realised you needed help, and the bastard got away.”
“I didn’t know that,” I murmur softly, my head spinning with this new information.
“Look,” says Isabel then, “I think we should go down to the police station and tell them what we know anyway… maybe the police will be able to find him.”
“Okay,” I agree with a nod and although I’m not entirely sure I’m up to it, I allow Maria and Isabel to slide their arms in mine as the six of us walk down to the nearest police station to report what happened to me.
It’s a long, nerve-wracking experience, talking to the police, but afterwards I feel much better for it, especially when the police officer taking my statement assures me that they have had several similar reports over the last few months and are on the verge of catching the offender, and as we head back to the halls an hour later, my friends do the best they can to distract me.
“Hey, are you okay?” says James softly, reaching out to touch my arm comfortingly as we walk. “You did great in there just now.”
“Thanks, James,” I smile gratefully. “I’m okay, I think… I’m just tired and glad it’s over.”
“Don’t worry, Liz,” encourages Maria, as she grabs my arm. “We’re gonna cheer you up, okay? We’re gonna have some fun today and get your mind off things, alright?”
“Sounds good to me,” I nod, stopping for a moment to look around at everyone’s kind expressions. “Thanks, guys.”
“Right,” announces Isabel as we reach the halls. “First on the menu for today is a pamper session in your room and then this afternoon we’re having a barbecue.”
As Maria and Isabel drag me inside the building and up the stairs, I can’t help but smile at how wonderful they’re both being to me today.
***
“Okay, who wants a burger?” asks Mike from in front of the barbecue later that afternoon, as he holds up a plate of freshly cooked beef burgers.
“Ooh, me, please!” calls Maria, from her position on the blanket we’ve laid out on the ground for sunbathing and general lounging around.
“And me,” adds Alex.
“Me three,” says Isabel.
“What about you, Liz?” wonders Michael, holding the plate out me in invitation.
I shake my head, “No, I’m okay, thanks, Mike. I’ll wait for a hot dog.”
“James?” he asks then.
Beside me, James shakes his head, “Hot dog for me too, mate.”
He shrugs, moving back towards the barbecue, “Suit yourselves.”
“So, Jamie-boy,” starts Maria then, propping herself up on one elbow to take a look at James, “who is this Helen girl, then? You two seemed pretty cosy in the club last night.”
Ducking his head slightly, as he sends a sheepish smile in my direction, James shrugs, “She’s just a girl.”
Maria rolls her eyes at that, “Yeah, right, ‘just a girl’! At one point I thought the two of you were gonna suck each other’s faces off.”
I make a face, “Thanks for the mental image, Maria.”
“Okay, fine,” sighs James slightly reluctantly. “If you must know, she’s my girlfriend. We’ve been going out for about three weeks now.”
“Really?!” I sit up straight at his blunt confession. “James, that’s great! I’m so glad you finally got together.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” wonders Isabel, looking at James in confusion.
He shrugs, “Well, I didn’t want to jinx anything by announcing it too soon. She’s a postgrad, you see, and it took a bit of persuading for her to see me as more than just a fresher, so I wanted to keep things quiet until we had worked things out properly.”
“Good for you, James,” I smile, before adding silently, at least things are going well for one of us.
“Thanks, guys,” he smiles.
“Right then, here we go,” announces Mike a moment later. “Burgers for Maria, Alex and Iz…,” he hands them each a burger. “And hot dogs will be ready in a few.”
“Thanks, hun, you’re the best,” grins Maria as she takes her burger from him.
As Mike returns to the barbecue again, Isabel pipes up, “Hey, is it just me, or is something missing here?”
“It’s not just you, I was thinking that too,” agrees Maria, looking puzzled for a moment, before snapping her fingers in realisation. “Music! That’s what’s missing… we need music.”
“We could use the radio from our room again,” I suggest, climbing to my feet. “I’ll go and get it.”
“Thanks, Liz,” grins Maria.
“Back in a sec.”
I make my way around the side of the building, heading for the door, but just as I reach for me key to open it, a movement from the path catches my eye and I turn in surprise.
There he is, standing just a few feet away, hands in his pockets and an anxious expression on his face.
“Max?”
“Hi,” he says softly, as he takes a few steps towards me. “I just wanted to…” he trails off uncertainly, before asking, “How are you?”
I nod, “I’m okay.”
“Good. That’s good,” he says with a nod, his voice holding a hint of relief.
“So, um, how did your exam go this morning?”
“Okay,” he shrugs, obviously not that bothered about it.
I nod, unsure of what to say now. We stand there in uncomfortable silence for several moments, before I find myself awkwardly blurting out, “Thanks for last night. For saving me, I mean.”
“You were in trouble,” he shrugs self-consciously. “I couldn’t not help.”
“So does this mean you’re talking to me again now?” I query, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my tone. “That you’ve deemed me worthy of your presence?”
His eyes snap to mine as a fretful expression appears on his face and he takes another step towards me.
“Liz,” he murmurs, with a shake of his head. “I meant what I said last night. I’m sorry. For everything.”
“Is that so?” I raise an eyebrow. “Didn’t seem that way when you were deliberately ignoring me and refusing to answer my calls.”
Although half of me is tempted to give into the sincere, almost pleading expression on his face, the other half is still pretty pissed off with him.
“Please,” he says, lifting a hand to touch my arm. “Just let me explain.”
I watch him carefully for a moment, my heart torn between wanting to let him explain and feeling like I should be punishing him for hurting me, before I let out a sigh.
“Okay, fine. Explain.”
“Not here,” he mutters, looking around at our exposed position where anyone could walk past.
“Fine,” I sigh, moving away from the building entrance and round to a small, isolated corner, as I indicate for him to follow me.
My eyes involuntarily rake over his body, taking in his well-fitting T-shirt and snug jeans, as he comes to a stop in front of me and I feel my stomach clench in response. Apart from last night, when I was too out of it to realise what was going on, I haven’t been this close to him since that morning in the laundry room the other week… and his nearness now is wreaking havoc on my senses.
“So…?” I ask, self-consciously crossing my arms.
“So,” he says softly. There’s a tension-filled pause, before he speaks again, “God, Liz, you scared the life out of me last night. Seeing you collapse like that and realising what could have happened if I hadn’t been there…God…”
I nod in understanding, “Well, I’m glad you were there. Thank you.”
He looks at me, concern in his eyes, “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you.”
Despite his soft tone, I can’t help feeling a little angry at his words, “Really? The way you’ve been acting the last few weeks, I wouldn’t have thought I mattered to you one bit.”
“Liz, that’s not…” he trails off, seemingly searching for the right words.
“You’ve spent the last four weeks pretending that I don’t even exist. You’ve been ignoring my calls, refusing to come to the door when I try to talk to you and deliberately avoiding me,” I argue. “I don’t see how I can mean anything to you at all when you completely cut me out of your life like that.”
“Well, I’m fucking sorry, okay?” he retorts, stepping closer to me. “Excuse me if I’m having some issues at the moment.”
I sigh, “I know you’re having issues, okay? That’s not the problem here.”
“Then what the hell is the problem?” he returns, his voice sounding distressed now.
“Max,” I say gently. “The problem is that you seem to think that dealing with your issues means shutting me out of your life and refusing to talk to me.” I shake my head sadly, “Sophie was right; you’re being a stubborn idiot about all this.”
“God, she got to you too?” he raises an eyebrow incredulously. “Why can’t that girl just butt out of my life for once?”
“Because she’s worried about you, Max.”
“I’m fine,” he mutters.
I sigh, “You’re not fine. That much is obvious.”
As if I’ve said something he doesn’t want to hear, he stiffens suddenly and takes a step back, “I, uh, I’d better be off now. Just came to make sure you were okay…”
“Max…”
“… And to tell you I was sorry about before… but I guess that idea was kinda pointless, huh?”
“No, Max, wait,” I protest, breathing a sigh of relief when he stays where he is. “Look, I know I was wrong to say anything to Isabel and I also know that you have a lot to deal with right now. I understand that none of this is easy for you, but you shouldn’t have shut me out like that. You should have talked to me and let me explain.”
He lets out a sigh, raising his eyes to the heavens.
“I know that now… and I really am sorry,” he tells me, his expression anxious. “It was just that… everything got so overwhelming and… I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling, so I guess I took my frustrations out on you.”
“Yeah, I really appreciated that. Thanks,” I mutter, unable to prevent the feeling of hurt that his words invoke.
“Liz, please…”
“Sorry, Max,” I shake my head. “It’s just that you can’t make everything better just by saying you’re sorry… or by saving me from that lunatic last night. It’s gonna take a bit of time, and a lot of you making things up to me, to make it all right again.”
“Liz,” he murmurs, fixing me with a pleading expression that causes my insides to begin to melt, but I have to stay strong.
He’s been acting like a bastard for the last few weeks and he can’t expect me to take him back just like that.
“I need some time, okay, Max,” I tell him.
“Hey, Liz, have you got that radio yet?!” Maria’s shout from round the corner interrupts the tension-filled atmosphere between us and I sigh, realising that this isn’t the time or place for serious conversation. “We’re all waiting.”
“You should go,” I say softly.
“But…?” he frowns in confusion.
“Look, they’re starting to wonder where I am,” I explain. “I need to get back.”
“Right, okay,” he nods reluctantly. I start to move in the direction of the hall entrance again, but his fingers catch my elbow, “Wait a sec… can we meet later?”
I close my eyes briefly, “Max, I don’t know if–”
“Please?”
He’s giving me puppy-dog eyes again and with a sigh, I nod, “Okay, but I can’t today… how about tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah, tomorrow’s good,” he gives a small, relieved smile. “I’ll buy you breakfast… or brunch?”
“Sure,” I murmur softly. “I’ll meet you at that little café on Eastbury Street at nine-thirty tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
As I look up at him, my heart begins to race in response to his intense gaze and I feel my resolve crumbling. Despite everything that’s happened recently, he still has the power to make my knees go weak with just one look and right now I’m finding it hard to resist the call of his perfect lips. But it is with great difficulty that I take a step back from him and give a firm nod.
“Bye, Max.”
With steely determination I extract my elbow from his grip and walk towards the A block door to fetch the radio. Once inside, I lean my head back against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. Everything is so confusing right now; I just hope I’m doing the right thing here.
***
The next morning, I turn up at the café a few minutes early with the hope of securing a table and maybe consuming some much-needed caffeine before Max arrives. Unfortunately though, my plan flies out of the window as soon as I spot a familiar face standing just outside the small café… looks like he got here first instead. I just stand there, several feet away, as I observe him for several long seconds, before exhaling heavily and making my way towards him.
“Still smoking, huh?” I say with a small smile.
“What?” he looks over at me, slightly startled, before glancing down at the lit cigarette in his hand. “Oh… yeah.”
“So, I know I’m here early, but you wanna go in now?” I ask.
“Okay, sure,” he replies. “Let me just…”
He nods towards the cigarette, and I wait patiently as he lifts it to his lips and takes a long drag before dropping it to the floor and putting it out with his shoe.
“Okay, let’s go.”
We enter the small café and choose a small, isolated table in the corner so we can talk relatively undisturbed. Max orders two full English breakfasts and a pot of tea, but as we wait for the food, the atmosphere between us is awkward and tense.
“So, um, how are you?” asks Max eventually, as he fiddles with the small container of sugar packets in the middle of the table.
I shrug, “I’m okay. You?”
“Yeah…”
There’s another pause, the uncomfortable silence stretching between us once more as the pause gets longer and longer until eventually I can’t take it anymore.
“So, uh… how are things going with Isabel?”
“Yeah,” he nods, his eyes still fixed on the sugar packets. “They’re going well.”
“That’s good,” I smile. “It’s good that you two are talking again.”
“Yeah?” he looks up and raises an eyebrow at me. “I bet you’re loving this, aren’t you? After all, you are the one who ‘got the ball rolling’.”
I close my eyes briefly at his slightly sarcastic words, before shaking my head, “Max, you have to understand… I never meant to deliberately go behind your back, but Isabel was so upset and confused, and you wouldn’t talk to her… I just thought maybe if I gave her a small hint, it would be enough to get things in motion. And it was, right? I mean, you guys are doing pretty well now.”
“That’s not the point, though,” he murmurs, his attention on the sugar packets once again. “You promised you wouldn’t say anything… and you did.”
“I know… and I can’t apologise enough for that,” I tell him, leaning forward in my seat. “But you wouldn’t even let me explain, Max. You just totally shut me out of your life. What happened to communicating and working things out?”
With a heavy sigh, he lets go of the packets and lowers his head, pinching the top of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.
“I don’t know,” he mutters to himself, before looking up at me again, his expression anguished. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Max…” I murmur softly as I reach across and lay my hand on his arm.
“It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” he admits. “But it all happened so fast – the shock of finding out that you’d said something; the whole story coming out; finally talking to Isabel again – I was all over the place and you ended up being the one who got caught in the fallout. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay–” I start, but he cuts me off.
“No, it’s not okay,” he bites out harshly. “What the fuck was I thinking? I’ve been going around directing all this anger towards you and you were only trying to help. Shit.”
“Max,” I try again. “Look, you’re dealing with so much stuff right now, and it’s obvious that you’re not handling things very well…” I hesitate for a moment, debating whether I should voice my thoughts or not. In the end, I decide to just go for it, “Do you think maybe you should talk to someone about it? Get some help?”
Straightening up, he shrugs my hand off his arm and shakes his head, offering me a small smile, “No, no, I’m fine. I can deal with it myself. I don’t need to talk to anyone.”
“Are you sure?” I question, a slight frown of concern on my face. “It might do you some good.”
I don’t want to push him into anything he’s not comfortable with, but at the same time, it’s pretty obvious that he’s struggling to deal with his emotions right now.
“I’m sure,” he smiles again, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m okay. Honest.”
“Max…” I murmur gently, looking up at him worriedly.
“Liz,” he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” I agree reluctantly, although it’s kind of obvious that he’s more troubled than he wants to let on.
We sit there in another awkward silence for a few moments, before the waitress returns to the table with our pot of tea and food. I smile and thank her, grateful for the distraction, and as she leaves I begin tucking into the large plate of bacon and eggs.
“Liz?”
“Yeah?” I lift me head to find Max looking at me searchingly.
“I miss you.”
The declaration is so blunt and emotion-filled that it tugs at my heart and for a moment, all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I’ve missed him too, but then the memory of how difficult and lonely the last few weeks have been flits through my mind and I find myself shaking my head.
“Max…” I murmur sadly.
“I know you said you needed some time,” he acknowledges, “and I know that I’ve hurt you, but I just miss you.”
As I look into his sad eyes, I find myself admitting, “I miss you too.”
A small smile appears on his face as he reaches across the table and covers my hand with his, “You do?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “But, Max, I really do need some time.”
His face falls and he quickly removes his hand, “Yeah… right. Okay.”
I sigh, “Look, I know you’re sorry, Max and I understand that this is a hard time for you, but it’s not as simple as all that. Like I said before, you’ve got some making up to do.”
“Okay, I get it,” he sighs, looking down at his plate. “Well, I’m buying you breakfast this morning… surely that counts for something?”
I can’t help but smile as I say softly, “It’s a start.”
He gives a small smile in return and he nods, “Okay, then. It’s a start.”
TBC…