Roswell Fanatics

Part 34


Liz gave a small wave as Langley’s black Mercedes crested the hill and vanished out of sight. Her shoulders fell forward, a heavy sigh passing though her lips. Her days with Langley had succeeded in nothing other than adding more questions to her already troubled mind. As much as she wanted to convince Sarina to follow Langley, Liz knew that Max would not encourage her to actively pursue Langley again, no matter what truths he knew about Max’s past life. She turned toward Sarina’s car, both driver’s side doors open; Sarina sitting behind the wheel, Alex’s carrier in the backseat.

“He kidnapped you,” Sarina questioned and Liz nodded slightly. “And you’re sad to see him go?”

“Langley is the only link we have.”

“We?”

“The five of us. He was Max’s protector and once we found out about Isabel’s pregnancy and just how changed I am, we went to look for him.”

“And he kidnapped you.”

“Yes,” Liz admitted, “but then he helped me find Isabel once I realized she was in danger. It’s complicated,” she reflected after a moment’s pause.

“I’ll say,” Sarina replied and the two women found themselves in an awkward silence. She opened her mouth to ask Liz another question but was interrupted by the sound of screeching tires. Sarina watched Liz’s eyes widen as a pale blue Volkswagen van pulled into the parking lot, blocking Sarina’s car from behind. Before the van had properly come to a halt, a dark-haired man ran at Liz and pulled her into his arms. He wound his hands around Liz’s waist, clutching her to him. Sarina turned away as his lips hungrily sought out Liz’s, deducing that the man was Liz’s husband Max.

“Liz,” Max sighed, framing his hands on either side of her face. “God, I was so scared.” He wrapped his arms around Liz’s neck and pulled her to him again, his lips taut with emotion.

“I’m okay,” Liz replied and Max felt her smile against his neck. “I’m fine.”

“He didn’t hurt you, did he,” Max asked as he placed his hands forcefully on her shoulders. “That bastard -”

“I’m fine, Max. I swear. Langley didn’t do anything to me.”

“I...I got a flash,” Max admitted, his fingers creating a silver shimmer up and down Liz’s upper arms. “I got a flash about you in Sedona. Liz, I think you’re -”

“Lizzie,” Maria screamed and wrapped her arms around Liz’s neck, pushing Max out of the way so she could get to Liz. “Oh, God. I was so scared, especially after Isabel ran away. We’d just lost you and then we go back to the hotel and find Isabel gone too. God.” Maria hugged Liz again for good measure.

“I’m fine, Maria, and I knew about Isabel. That’s why I’m here.”

“Where’s Langley,” Max questioned as Michael and Kyle joined the small circle, each of them hugging Liz.

“He’s gone,” Liz replied as Kyle released her, his arm lingering across Liz’s shoulders. Max grabbed Liz’s wrist and pulled her toward him, and for the first time noticed Sarina on the fringes of their conversation.

“Who’s that,” Max questioned, possessively pushing Liz behind him, placing himself between Liz and the unknown woman, Kyle and Michael instinctively flanking him.

“Sarina Zachary,” Liz said, pushing her way out from behind the wall of protectors and stepping toward Sarina. “She was here with Isabel.”

“Where is Isabel,” Kyle asked.

“Did Langley take Isabel? What’s going on, Liz?”

Liz glanced at Sarina then lowered her head to the ground. Her lips quivered and she sighed as she raised her head to tell Max the truth about Isabel. A stream of tears slipped down her cheeks, Max immediately stepping to her side when she couldn’t speak. “Liz? Where’s Isabel? Did Langley take her? Tell me and I’ll hunt the son of a bitch down and kill him for everything he’s done.”

“Isabel’s...gone,” Liz whispered just as Alex’s cries echoed from the backseat of Sarina’s Buick. Liz spun quickly to go to him, Max, Michael, Maria and Kyle following her with confused looks on their faces.

“What do you mean Isabel’s gone,” Michael asked. “Where the hell did she go this time? Whose baby is that?”

“This is Alex,” Liz said, a slight smile lighting her face. She placed her hand on his stomach, gently shaking him and his cries stopped. “And Langley is gone back to L. A., without Isabel.”

“Where is she,” Kyle asked. “Is she in Boston?”

“Isabel is,” Liz began but her voice broke and a flood of tears streamed down her face. Max reached for her but Liz shook off his grasp to wipe her face with the back of her hands. “Sarina brought Isabel here from New Orleans. Isabel’s...gone. She -” Liz glanced heavenward and sighed heavily. “Isabel’s…dead. She…died after giving birth to Alex.” Liz ignored Maria’s gasp and Kyle’s uncharacteristic display of emotion, knowing that she too would soon join them in their mourning. She reached past Alex and retrieved the small red box from the back seat, presenting it to Max with tears brimming in her eyes.

“This is...her,” Max questioned and Liz mutely nodded. “Isabel’s...dead? She...she’s really dead?”

“I couldn’t save her, Max. I…I tried,” Liz admitted. “She called Jesse and wanted to meet him. Sarina went to New Orleans instead and brought her to Knoxville. I...I’d been getting flashes or dreams...something from her and Cal...Langley agreed to help me find her. I’m sorry, Max.”

Max stepped past Liz and stared at the tiny infant in the back seat of Sarina’s car. “Th...this is her baby? Alex? The one you had the nightmare about?” He turned to Liz for confirmation and she again nodded. “Does...did she know about him?”

“She knew,” Sarina said, speaking for the first time as she stepped from the front of her car toward Max. “She knew he would be a boy and she knew Liz would come for him. I’m very sorry for your loss. I wish I could have done more.”

“We have to tell Jesse,” Liz whispered to Max while Max continued to watch Alex sleep. “I don’t think Jesse knew Isabel was pregnant. He’ll want Alex.”

“We’ll go to Boston,” Max said, nodding his head in agreement. “We’ll take Alex to his father.”

“I’m not going with you,” Kyle said and the entire group turned toward him, his face flushed and his eyes red. “I...I can’t.”

“Kyle,” Liz said, stepping past Michael and Maria to get to him. “You don’t mean that. We need you. Isabel would want you -”

“Don’t,” Kyle interrupted, lowering his head to the ground as he shook it from side to side. “Please. I…I can’t do this anymore. I can’t lose anyone else, and if I go to Boston, I’ll get attached to him,” he said, pointing at Alex. “I...I’m going to go back home, to Roswell.”

Part 35

“Kyle -”

"My mind is made up, Liz. Don’t try to change it.”

“It’s not safe for you in Roswell. There are agents -”

“No one knows I left with you except my dad,” Kyle amended, looking Liz directly in the eye. She backed away from him slightly, lowering her head as she tried to come up with another argument against his leaving.

“All of our parents know by now,” Maria replied, stepping to Liz’s side. “Any of the agents could be looking for us. The entire town could know we’re not coming back. We don’t know anything, Kyle.”

“I...I just can’t do this. I’m sorry.” He glanced at Liz and Maria again, truly sorry that he could not continue this journey with them. He turned to Sarina, his hands resting in the back pockets of his blue jeans. “Do you know where the nearest Greyhound station is? You seem pretty like you’re pretty familiar with this area.”

“I think there’s one close, maybe three or four blocks away.”

“Kyle,” Liz began again but Kyle held up his hand to silence her.

“You have to take Alex to Jesse. It’s not safe for you to go back to Roswell, but I can. Maybe I can go back and live a normal life, maybe not, but I owe it to myself to find out.” He paused to take a heavy breath. “Live your life, Liz, and let me live mine.”

Liz’s lower lip trembled as she threw herself into Kyle’s arms. The two friends held each other tight for several seconds before Liz hesitantly released him. “Here,” she said, offering a small wad of money she had pulled from her front pocket. “Take it.”

“No, I can’t do that,” Kyle responded, waving away her outstretched hand. “You keep it, for Alex. You’ll need it more than I will.”

“Take it, Kyle,” Liz continued, stuffing the money into his hand. “Use it to buy a ticket back home.” She smiled, despite the tears streaming down her face, and Kyle smiled with her.

“Okay. Thanks.” He pocketed the money, walking to the back of the van to retrieve his small duffle bag of clothes. He patted Michael on the shoulder as he placed his bag in the truck of Sarina’s Buick.

“I can’t believe this is good-bye,” Maria choked, throwing her arms around Kyle’s neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly to him.

“It’s not good-bye,” he said, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. “It’s see you later.” Maria playfully slapped his shoulder and Kyle laughed at the jab.

“Okay. See you later.” Maria gave him one more quick hug before passing him off to Liz.

“It shouldn’t be this way,” Liz whispered as Kyle pulled her into his arms again. “I never imagined things would end like this.” She rested her chin on his shoulder, their bodies entwined in a friendly yet loving hug.

“The prize is worth the rocky ride,” Kyle whispered in her ear, his face lost beneath her dark tresses. “I love you, Liz. If you need anything -”

“Take care of yourself, Kyle,” Liz said, squeezing Kyle tightly one final time. She smiled and patted his face, her vision marred by tears, as Kyle sat in the passenger seat of Sarina’s Buick and closed the door.

“I think you should get a hotel room,” Sarina suggested as Liz stepped away from her car. “There’s a Holiday Inn about a block south of here,” she pointed underneath the bridge toward Knoxville’s downtown. “We have a lot to discuss, especially if you’re serious about going to Boston.”

Liz nodded her head and for the second time that day watched as someone she cared about drove out of the parking lot, headed north on Broadway.

* * *

“That was a brave thing you did,” Sarina admitted shyly to Kyle as they sat side by side in the Greyhound station.

“I’m not brave,” Kyle replied with a snort. “I’m taking the chicken’s way out and running back home.”

“Well, I’m sure your dad will be glad to see you.”

He stretched his legs across the aisle, linking his fingers behind his neck, and stared upward at the creamy brown ceiling. “They’ll have a lot of questions.”

“Who?”

“My dad. Everyone in Roswell.” He sighed and adjusted his position, his elbows resting on his knees while he stared at the tile floor. “Maybe I should go somewhere else, like Florida or Europe.”

“You can’t Greyhound it to Europe,” Sarina replied, the tone in her voice completely serious. Kyle rolled his eyes at her, and Sarina covered her mouth to hide her smile at his mistake. “I think you’re making the right decision, if that counts for anything considering the short time I’ve known you.”

“What if there are agents in Roswell? What if I’m putting everyone I love in danger by going back?”

“Maybe you’ll have to run again or stay and defend your home,” Sarina said after a moment’s pause to find the right answer. “You can’t go through something like this without being forever changed.”

“I already know I’m going to be a little green around the gills within a year,” Kyle added with a laugh. “I think we’re talking about you now.”

“Maybe we are,” Sarina admitted, a tiny laugh escaping from her lips. She rolled her shoulders, straightening her posture, and stared at Kyle.

“Thank you for helping her. Isabel...meant a lot to me.”

“It was my pleasure,” Sarina replied truthfully as Kyle’s bus number was announced over the loud speaker throughout the bus terminal. Kyle stood slowly, Sarina matching his pace inch for inch while both of them stood up from the blue plastic chairs. “If I’m ever in Roswell again, I’ll stop in for a visit.”

“That would be nice,” Kyle offered. “It would be nice to see you again, just as long as you’re not chasing aliens.”

Sarina laughed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t think you have to worry.” She opened her mouth to speak but was overcome with emotion and had to clear her throat. When she regained her composure, the moment - whatever connection she had felt between them - was gone. “Have a safe trip.”

“You too,” Kyle added with a nod, the second announcement for his bus echoing through the almost empty terminal. Sarina offered him a smile and with that, he turned around and walked out of the sliding glass door into the loading zone, gone from her life as quickly as he had appeared.

Part 36

Liz climbed into the back of the van, Alex’s carrier beside her and Max flanking her, while Michael and Maria sat in the front seat. The moment she sat down, an imaginary weight crashed onto her, and she struggled to hold back the tears that had threatened to spill all morning. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she turned to look at Max. It has only be seven days since they had last seen each other, but Liz thought it felt more like years, especially given the emotional roller coaster she had just been on. Max smiled at her, his eyes misting with tears and he reached for her hand across the foot of Alex’s carrier. Liz smiled in return and exhaled slowly when their palms touched as Michael drove into the parking lot of the Holiday Inn.

* * *

“How long have I been asleep,” Liz asked in a drowsy voice as she rolled toward the lone chair in their hotel room. Max held Alex carefully against his chest, his eyes trained on Liz’s form.

“Couple of hours at the most,” Max whispered as he placed Alex into the carrier on the floor beside the night stand and joined Liz underneath the sheets. “You looked really tired,” he said, hugging Liz close to him, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Oh, I am, Max. I’m so tired. I...I just can’t believe what’s happened.”

“Me neither,” Max admitted and Liz felt his arms flex around her shoulders. She raised her eyes upward, resting her chin on his chest.

“I have so much to tell you, Max. I...I don’t know if it will change things or not.”

“I don’t care about that right now,” Max replied, framing Liz’s face with his palms. “I don’t care about anything but you.” He pressed his lips to hers, images and voices immediately flashing through Liz’s mind as the kiss deepened.

The hybrids were supposed...designed to mate with humans.

She won’t be able to control her powers. Just another of the high parts of alien hormones.

Hybrid pregnancies are unpredictable, Liz.

You’ll have to take care of them. Alex and Max and your little girl.

I here, Mommy, but I Hope. Isabew Hope.

Liz was pregnant.

“What,” Liz exclaimed, pushing away from Max while she tried to process the flashes she had just seen. “I’m pregnant? We’re...going to have a...baby?”

“I got a flash in Sedona,” Max said as he pressed kisses down Liz’s neck. “We’re going to have a baby, Liz.”

“Isabel Hope,” Liz whispered, tears instantly pooling in her eyes as she remembered the entrance of the dark-haired little girl in her final vision of Isabel. Hope had wanted her to find Alex.

“Who?”

“It’s a girl, Max,” Liz said as tears streamed down her cheeks, Max immediately wiping them away with his thumbs. “We’re going to have a little girl and her name is Isabel Hope.”

“She’ll be beautiful,” Max said as he pressed his hand gently over Liz’s stomach, his palm caressing the bare flesh just below her belly button. “Just like her mother.” Liz nodded wordlessly as their lips met once again.

* * *

“Michael? Michael, you have to talk about it. It’s not good for you to keep your feelings bottled up inside.”

“You don’t understand, Maria,” Michael admitted as he paced at the foot of the bed, running his hands through his hair. “I thought it was stupid for her to marry Jesse. I thought it was stupid for her to get pregnant in the first place. I never talked to her about it. I never told her I was sorry.”

“Michael, she knows,” Maria said, standing up from the edge of the bed and blocking Michael’s pathway. “Isabel knows you didn’t mean any of the things you said. She knows you were just scared. We were all scared.”

“But I didn’t tell her,” Michael argued, "and she died thinking I was angry at her.”

Maria placed her hands on Michael’s cheeks, a smile forming on her lips despite the tears in her eyes. “It’s okay to regret. It’s okay to be sorry, but don’t assume you knew everything Isabel was thinking. She loved us, Michael, all of us, no matter what. That’s what it means to be a family.”

“I’m going to miss her,” Michael whispered as he buried his face onto Maria’s neck, his cheeks wet. “I’m going to miss her so much.”

“I know,” Maria admitted. “I’m going to miss her too.”

* * *

June 29, 2003


For the first time in weeks, I slept without dreams. There were no dreams of impending doom, no dreams of alien hunting FBI agents, no dreams at all - simply an uneventful evening. So when I awoke to the sounds of muffled cries, I immediately felt my heart stop for a split second. Leaning over the edge of the bed, I looked into Alex’s carrier, his shadow outlined by the light from the closet. Isabel’s tiny boy slept soundly and I swore that he’d grown in his one day of life. The muffled cries continued and I raised my head toward the window, the sheer curtain panel wafting as the June breeze hit it. I recognized Max’s outline, my heart breaking as I watched his shoulders heave. The finality of Isabel’s death, and what that would mean to the rest of his life, our lives, had hit him.


“Max,” Liz whispered, stepping around Alex’s carrier on her way to Max. He sat in the chair closest to the window, clad in his boxers, the sheer curtain floating around him like a halo.

“She’s dead. Isabel’s really dead.”

“I’m sorry,” Liz replied as she climbed onto Max’s lap, cradling his head against her shoulder, his tears soaking through the thin cotton t-shirt she wore.

“I should have been there. I should have saved her. I could have saved her. What’s the use of having these powers if I can’t save the people I love?”

“Isabel had already cheated death, Max. We all have. Maybe she was ready.”

“How can anyone be ready to die,” Max argued, raising his face to stare at Liz. “Why would anyone want to die?”

“I didn’t say want,” Liz amended while gently wiping Max’s face with her hands. “I said ready. Maybe Isabel was ready to let go and move on.”

“Move on to where?”

“I don’t know, heaven,” Liz whispered as Max’s arms wrapped possessively around her waist, his head returning to her tear-soaked shoulder. Liz herself had to blink back tears when her mind conjured images of the last time she had seen Alex Whitman alive, his fingers strumming his acoustic guitar, the phone attached to his ear as he talked to Isabel. A calm surrounded her and she smiled slightly at the memory. “What if she’s finally at peace? Don’t you want her to be at peace?”

“I want her here. I want her alive.”

“But nothing can hurt her now, Max. She’ll never be in pain or hurt or cry or suffer ever again.”

“I’m being selfish,” Max cried, burying his head against Liz’s shoulder again.

“No,” Liz amended as she placed a feather-light kiss on the crown of his head. “You’re just hurting like any normal person would. It’s difficult to understand and even more difficult to accept it when someone you love dies.”

“There’s only two of us now,” Max mumbled. “I...I never thought Michael and I would be the last ones standing.”

“That’s not true, Max. There are four of us left; you, me, Michael and Kyle.”

“But Kyle went back to Roswell.” Max paused and Liz felt his body shudder. “What if something happens? What if our enemies invade? And we don’t know what will happen with Alex...or Hope? What if you -”

“I’m not going to die.”

“Isabel died,” Max countered, and Liz felt the fear in his heart as his arms tightened around her.

“Isabel knew she was going to die. She told me and I didn’t believe her. I didn’t want to believe her. I’m not going to die, Max. Langley wouldn’t have left if he thought I was in danger.”

“Langley doesn’t know anything about hybrid pregnancies. None of us do.”

Liz started to respond to Max’s accusation but decided against defending Langley to Max. Her association with Langley was long over, and she had a fairly good impression that Max would believe whatever he wanted to believe about Cal Langley. “Langley told me Tess was never pregnant,” Liz whispered, her head lowered toward her lap. “He said you could have never gotten Tess pregnant.”

“Why would he say that? Was he trying to play some kind of game with you?”

“I...I think it’s the truth. I don’t think he would lie to me.”

“Liz -”

“He could have done anything to me, Max. He could have killed me because he hates you so much, but he didn’t. He helped me. He protected me.” Liz took Max’s left hand into hers, placing it gently against the slight swell of her stomach. “He protected us.”

“I’m sorry,” Max said, wrapping his arm around Liz’s shoulders, pulling her close to him again. His broken sobs echoed through the empty room and for a split second, Liz worried about waking Alex. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I...she tricked me, Liz. She used me and I let her. I let her break me. I let her destroy my faith in you, in everything that we meant to each other. I...I’m so sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Liz replied, her voice low and calm, despite the flurry of emotions building within her. “She’s dead. Tess can’t hurt us anymore. Besides,” Liz replied with a smile as she placed a chaste kiss on the corner of Max’s mouth, “we have more important things to live for.”

Part 37

“How are you,” Liz asked Maria as they met in the corner of the hotel lobby, Alex in Liz’s arms, a bottle attached to his mouth.

Maria lowered the black cat-eye sunglasses to the rim of her nose with her index finger and Liz inhaled sharply at Maria’s swollen and bloodshot eyes. “Yeah, rough night,” Maria said as she plopped onto one of the large green armchairs, bouncing once on the cushion as her weight shifted. Liz, in contrast, carefully lowered herself onto the cushion and placed Alex carefully on her lap.

“Us too,” Liz replied once Alex was settled with the bottle in his mouth.

“With Alex,” Maria questioned, leaning over Liz’s lap, Alex’s brown eyes glancing up at her the instant her shadow came into view.

“No. Max.”

“Nothing bad, right?”

“Oh no,” Liz replied as she brought Alex over her shoulder to burp him. “Isabel’s death...caught up with him.”

“Michael too,” Maria sighed. “I’m glad he shows an emotion other than anger but it just broke my heart to seek him like that.”

“So you had to cry too,” Liz continued and Maria shook her head in agreement.

“How are you holding up? It had to be pretty horrible for you.”

“Some of the dreams were scary. I could feel her pain, you know.” Liz paused to adjust Alex in her lap again, his tiny fists clamping tightly onto her index fingers. “But I’m glad she’s at peace now.”

“Me too.”

‘There’s something else,” Liz began, a hint of trepidation in her tone which caused Maria to sit up and give Liz her full attention. “I’m not sure how to say it.”

“God, Liz, just say it. Is it about Langley? Did he do something to you? Max was furious when we got to Sedona. I...I’ve never seen him so angry.”

“I think I know why.” Liz leaned close to Maria, her voice a low whisper. “Max and I are going to have a baby.”

“Oh my God! Liz,” Maria squealed, jerking her body forward, startling Alex from his semi-slumber. “How did you find out? Did you form a connection?”

“Langley knew while we were in Sedona. Max got a flash of Langley’s thoughts.”

“How did Langley know you were pregnant?”

“I couldn’t control my powers. I mean, I was setting things on fire, passing out. Isabel couldn’t control hers either and Langley said it was a side effect of alien pregnancies. I just never put the pieces together about my own powers because I was so focused on Isabel and Alex.”

“You do put those blinders on once you set your mind to something,” Maria said and Liz playfully stuck out her tongue in response. “But I’m so happy for you,” Maria continued, her voice light with laughter, “and Max too, of course.” Maria leaned over the chairs and hugged Liz’s shoulders tightly, both women careful not to disturb Alex.

“What’s going on,” Michael questioned as he and Max stepped into their corner of the lobby. “Why are you crying?”

“Liz and Max are going to have a baby.”

“That’s great, Maxwell,” Michael said, patting Max squarely on the back. “Good for you.” He took two steps and gave Liz a quick hug.

“You’re serious,” Max questioned, unable to hide his shock to Michael’s uncharacteristic reaction there would be a baby traveling with them.

“Yes,” Michael replied, the sarcastic sigh evident in his tone as he looped his arm around Maria’s shoulder. “Hell, Maria and I’ll even babysit.”

“Speak for yourself, Space Boy,” Maria said as Sarina stepped off the elevator and walked toward them. “I don’t do dirty diapers.”

* * *

June 30, 2002

Despite Maria’s declaration of not wanting to babysit, she and Michael naturally took to Alex once we left Knoxville, just like I’m sure everyone will. He’s such a wonderful baby, so loving and so well-behaved. He whimpers a little bit but he’s never truly unleashed the power of his lungs (yet). Maybe he can sense that as long as he’s in my care, my attention will be focused totally on him.

Sarina told us that Jesse’s law firm was located in the Prudential Building in Boston. She also gave us explicit instructions to watch our backs during the trip; I wanted to tell her that we’ve been on edge for almost 4 years but I didn’t think it was a good time. She was helpful - she helped Isabel and Alex - and that’s enough to inspire my loyalty. She must be a great FBI agent, so detailed, so meticulous in her instruction; she has plans upon plans upon plans, just in case something goes wrong. I still wonder if she is the mythical Sarina Future Max told me about. Part of me doesn’t want to know. I mean, I could have openly pursued it, confessed the entire sordid tale to her but it’s not worth it. Just like I told Max, our past is in the past. What’s behind us can’t hurt us anymore and we have too much to focus on in the future.

I really can’t believe I’m going to be a mother, that Max and I are having a baby. Part of me is scared and if I let myself really think about it, I want my mother. What expectant mother doesn’t want their own mother at their side? Did Isabel want Diane with her or was Sarina enough? I don’t know. I can’t think about that.

If I concentrate really hard, I can feel her - Hope - the tiniest of notions in my mind. Will she be like the little girl in my dream? Such spunk and determination in such a small package! That little girl knew Alex; she wanted me to find Alex, which leads me to another fear I’ve discovered since leaving Knoxville - the fear of giving him up.

Alex is Jesse’s son, I know that. I understand and accept that. But he’s also Isabel’s son and Isabel called out to me for help. Maybe Kyle was right. Maybe I’m too attached to him; I’ve become dependent on his presence in my life. Can I just give him up? Can I turn him over to his father when I love him this much already and he’s not yet 3 days old? The question of Alex’s alienness also remains. Can Jesse handle whatever abilities Alex may possess? Would Jesse want to? So many questions, I just wish I could answer one of them. Of course, everyone in this van has questions, especially now that Hope is definitely on her way. Do I really want my baby born at some rest stop in Small Town, USA? Do I want to live the remainder of my days in this van? Do I want my child without a real place to call home? Do I want her to grow up in fear?

If only I didn’t feel so afraid myself...

Part 38

“Good morning, Langtree, Watson and Sullivan. How may I direct your call?”

“Jesse Ramirez, please,” Max said, Michael, Maria and Liz with Alex in her arms beside him as he used a pay phone to call Jesse’s office. Sarina had given them Jesse’s phone numbers and a number where they could reach her at all times in case of emergencies before they left Knoxville. Liz smiled at Max as she tucked a blanket over Alex’s head to shade him from the morning sun.

“Jesse Ramirez’s office. This is Rachel. How may I help you?”

“Yes,” Max began, slightly clearing his throat in an attempt to disguise his voice. AI would like to make an appointment with Mr. Ramirez concerning an adoption.”

“I’m sorry. Mr. Ramirez doesn’t handle adoption matters. He is primarily a criminal attorney. I believe there may be another attorney in our firm that can help you -”

“I was referred to Mr. Ramirez by Philip Evans. Mr. Evans said Mr. Ramirez could help me.” He shrugged his shoulders at the three eager faces and lowered his eyes to the toes of his tennis shoes.

“Would that be Philip Evans from New Mexico?”

“Yes, that’s right. Maybe Mr. Evans was mistaken -”

“Mr. Ramirez has an appointment block available at 2:00 this afternoon. Is that convenient for you?”

“2:00,” Max questioned and Liz nodded her head in response. He glanced at his watch; it was almost 11:00 a. m. “That will be fine. My name is Maxwell, Parker Maxwell.” Liz stifled a laugh as did Maria while Michael heavily rolling his eyes.

“I have you on Mr. Ramirez’s calendar, Mr. Maxwell. Our offices are located on the eighteenth floor of the Prudential Building, and we’ll see you at 2:00.”

“Thank you,” Max replied and hung up the phone. “We’ll see Jesse at 2:00. Let’s get something to eat and go over the plan one more time.”

* * *

July 1, 2002


The plan was for Maria and Michael to keep Alex while Max and I explained things to Jesse. Once Maria learned the fine art of changing a dirty diaper, she was good to go. Showing Maria how to change a diaper wasn’t the only hardship I’d have to go through; I was going to have tell Jesse about Isabel’s death, Alex’s birth and watch as Jesse took his son away from me.


Liz adjusted the cream-colored sweater over her shoulders, the new twinset courtesy of Alex and the formula he had spit up on her black tank top after their lunch. Because of the slight delay, she and Max were running late to their appointment with Jesse. She clutched her purse in her right hand, Max’s firmly in her left as they rode the elevator to Jesse's office.

“You look wonderful,” Max whispered as the elevator’s mechanical voice chimed eighteen. He planted a delicate kiss on her cheek. “But you smell like baby throw-up.”

“Better get used to that smell,” she cautioned with a knowing glance, the elevator doors opening and together, they stepped through them to the offices of Langtree, Watson and Sullivan. “We’re the Maxwells, here for a 2:00 appointment with Jesse Ramirez.”

“If you’d like to have a seat,” the receptionist said with a smile, indicating the seating area to her left. Liz nodded and she and Max walked to the brown leather couch while the receptionist paged Rachel, Jesse’s assistant.


Waiting is the most horrible feeling in the world. Whether you’re waiting for a good thing or impending doom, waiting can make a person crazy. I tried to keep my mind occupied by flipping through the pages of the month old People magazine but I couldn’t seem to care about the lives of celebrities when my life was about to change so drastically in a matter of moments. If only I’d picked up the Time instead. Time had the tendency to cover actual news-worthy events, which made the trials I faced in my life seem petty and minute.


A petite strawberry blonde approached them several minutes later, her chin-length hair held off her face by a pair of glasses that had been pushed back onto her head. “Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell?” She smiled at them, her face anxious.

“Yes,” Liz replied, standing up from the leather couch as she offered her hand for the woman to shake. “I’m Mrs. Maxwell and this is my husband.”

“I’m Rachel,” the woman said, her smile bright and cheery A flash overtook Liz before she respond and she felt Max’s hand on her lower back to steady her. She slowly raised her head to look at Rachel, and saw the secret desire Rachel held in her heart for Jesse. “Are you okay?”

“I...I’ll be fine,” Liz said once she was able to right herself. “I would like some water though.”

“Certainly,” Rachel continued, leading Liz and Max to a conference room down the hall and to the right from the reception area. “Jesse will be with you shortly and I’ll be right back with that water. Would you like anything, Mr. Maxwell?”

“Water, please.” Once Rachel was out of the room and the conference door closed behind her, Max turned his attention to Liz. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I...I had a flash. I...I think Rachel has feelings for Jesse.”

“What? He’s married to Isabel,” Max began, his voice growing louder. Liz touched his hand and he quieted, realizing that Jesse was no longer married to Isabel. “Are they involved?”

“I...I don’t think so but I can’t be sure.”

“Here’s some water,” Rachel said, carrying a glass pitcher full of ice water and three glasses on a tray into the room. She proceeded to pour a glass for both Max and Liz then quietly slipped out of the room as Jesse entered, his back to Liz and Max.

“I don’t know what Philip Evans told you, but it’s not true,” he said with a laugh, the shock on his face undeniable as he turned and saw Liz and Max sitting across the table. “Max? Liz? What are you doing here?” He placed his legal pad and pencil on the corner of the table and rushed to claim a seat across from them. “Is something wrong? You wouldn’t come here unless something was wrong. What’s going on? Did Sarina find Isabel?”

“Sarina found Isabel,” Liz admitted and Jesse visibly relaxed. “But there’s something we need to talk to you about.”

“Okay. Is it about Isabel?”

“It is,” Liz continued. “It’s about Isabel and your son.”

Part 39

“My son? What is she talking about, Max? Isabel and I don’t have -” He broke off and slumped back against the chair, staring straight ahead but not looking at either Max or Liz.

“I...I don’t know how to tell you this, Jesse, other than to just say it,” Liz said, Jesse making eye contact with her after several seconds of silence. “Isabel was pregnant when she called you from Las Vegas. She had a baby, a little boy named Alex. Sarina took her to Knoxville, Tennessee and that’s where Alex was born and...where Isabel died.”

“She died? Isabel’s...dead?”

“I...I’m sorry,” Liz replied as she reached across the table to take Jesse’s hands into hers. “I tried to get to her to save her but I couldn’t. Sarina was with her so she wasn’t alone.”

“Have you told your parents?”

“No,” Max stiffly responded as Jesse glanced from Liz to him. “It...it just happened. I...I’m not even...okay with the idea yet. I wouldn’t begin to know how to tell Mom and Dad.”

“Write them a letter,” Jesse suggested as he passed the legal pad and pencil to Max. “I’ll mail it.”

Liz watched as Max took the pencil into his hand as if it were a foreign object, like he had never seen a pencil or paper before. She placed her hand on his right shoulder and Max slowly bent over the paper and began to write to his parents, telling them about Isabel’s death and their grandson’s birth.

“Tell me how it happened,” Jesse commanded, turning back to Liz, and Liz noticed the strange timbre of his voice. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. She smiled weakly then drank a large gulp of water.

“Okay,” Liz whispered, glancing at Max a final time, his nose inches away from the paper. “I’ll tell you everything I know.”


* * *

Jesse stood up from the table and walked to the telephone on the credenza in the corner of the conference room. He placed the receiver against his ear and dialed the phone, waiting several seconds before speaking. “Rachel? Yes, please cancel my appointments for the rest of today and all of tomorrow. Right. Call the judge and tell him it was a family emergency. No, I’m fine. I’ll be in to get my coat in a minute. Thanks.” He lowered the phone to its base then wordlessly turned and walked out the door. He reappeared several minutes later, wearing his suit coat. “Let’s go.”

“Do you want to see him,” Liz questioned as she and Max stood up. Jesse grabbed the legal pad and tucked it under his arm as they left the conference room, never answering Liz’s question.

It wasn’t until they reached the lobby of the building that Jesse spoke again. “He’s here?”

“He’s with Michael and Maria.”

“Where’s Kyle?”

“He went back to Roswell,” Liz admitted, Max’s arm around her shoulders as a slight breeze swept over the plaza. “He didn’t want to get too attached to Alex because we might never see him again.”

Jesse spun toward Liz, a mixture of horror and shock etched on his face. “You’re leaving him with me? I...I can’t.”

“He’s your son, Isabel’s son,” Liz argued as they picked up their pace toward their meeting place with Michael and Maria. “He deserves to be with his father, especially now that Isabel is gone.”

“What about his...abilities? I’m fully human, Liz. He’s probably not.”

“You...you don’t want your son,” Liz questioned, tears pooling in her eyes. She felt a surge of power boiling within her stomach and tried to quash it before anything happened.

“I...I don’t know,” Jesse replied, opening the door of the restaurant for Max and Liz. “I’ll have to think about it.”


We ate dinner in an uncomfortable silence. It was a nice dinner and Alex was very well-behaved; it was just tense. I spent most of the meal watching Jesse watch Alex, my heart torn by what I knew to be right and what I actually wanted.


It’s right for Alex to grow up with his father, to know his father, but I want him to remain with me, no matter where the van happens to take us. Is that a fair judgment to make for a newborn (or unborn) child? To choose a life path for them because it’s what you want. It makes me think of my father and his desire for me to attend Yale. I, of course, wanted to go to Harvard, simply for the fact that it wasn’t his choice. Can I, in good faith, act on Alex’s (or Hope’s) best interests when I’m so conflicted? I don’t want to lose Alex but I don’t want him to be harmed by the unknown dangers of our lives. Maybe a good night’s sleep will shed some clarity on the situation.

* * *

ROSWELL

Kyle stepped off the bus onto the asphalt, dust marring the definite line where the pavement began and the desert ended. He languidly stretched, raising his small duffle bag over his head, his shirt rising slightly to expose his stomach to the sun for a split second. He had been away from Roswell a little over a month but he felt years older because of his travels and the changes he had endured along the way.

He thought about hailing a cab then thought better of it. The day was clear, almost no foot traffic visible from the bus depot to the police station less than five blocks away so Kyle decided he would walk. It would do his legs good to stretch them a little and remember just how walking felt after being trapped on a Greyhound bus for an entire day. He allowed his mind to blank out as he walked north, concentrating on taking one step at a time. There would be plenty of questions when he saw the parents again, questions he knew he didn’t have answers for. He took several hesitant steps then sat down on one of the benches lining the street. He couldn’t face them, he told himself, not yet, and he buried his face in his hands as he cried.


---------------

Part 40

WASHINGTON, D. C.

“Zachary, the director wants to see you.”

Sarina raised her head from her paperwork, simple notes and scribbles that made no progress in any of the cases she’d neglected since Reno. She programmed her cell phone to vibrate if she received a call then placed it in the front pocket of her black linen capri pants before she threw the khaki linen jacket across her shoulders and walked down the hallway to the director’s office.

When she had arrived at headquarters, she had immediately been questioned about her missing time. The fabricated lie she had been working in her mind the entire drive from Knoxville to Washington - she had feared for her life after being suspected as an FBI agent in Las Vegas, then proceeded to run and hide until she felt safe enough to reenter her old life - had seemingly worked. She had at least convinced the three agents who had questioned her. The fear was always in the back of her mind that someone would find her out and she would have to lie again to cover her ass and to protect Liz.

She knocked on the director’s door and after being instructed to enter, she methodically closed the door behind her. She had never been called into the director’s office during her entire career with the agency so her palms began to sweat as she sat in the solitary chair facing the director’s desk. The highback leather chair spun slowly toward her, a puff of smoke visible from over the back as the chair turned. She unconsciously held her breath and straightened her posture, hoping to show no signs of the fear that quaked within her.

The director, a paunch middle-aged man named Nathaniel Jackson, threw a manilla folder onto the desk in front of her, causing Sarina to jump. He stared at her for a moment then laughed as he stuck the cigar between his lips and stood up from the chair, walking around the corner of his desk toward her. “Open it,” he commanded and Sarina rushed to complete his order. She fumbled with the clasp on the envelope but once she was able to open it, she pulled out several 8x10 black and white photos. “Know those guys?”

Sarina carefully inspected the photographs, turning them at different angles, pursuing through her memories for an identifying moment. It didn’t take her long to realize that two of the photographs were of the agents that had questioned her in Reno. The other three men she did not know or recognize. “I know two of them.”

“These two,” he questioned and pulled from the set the photos of the two agents Sarina recognized. She nodded wordlessly, her eyes drawn upward to the director, her mind wondering how he knew which men she recognized. “What about the others?”

“I...I’ve never seen them before.”

“But these were the two that questioned you in Reno,” he continued, “about that Parker kid.”

“How did you -”

“I know lots of things,” he said with a smirk on his face and before her eyes, Nathaniel Jackson melded into Cal Langley. “I pay attention.”

“You.”

“Yep,” Langley said as he walked behind the desk. He threw a stapled stack of papers down in front of Sarina, papers she recognized as written reports from the three agents that had questioned her upon her return from Knoxville. “You do nice work. I like you, kid.”

“What are you doing here,” Sarina asked in an excited whisper as she rose from her chair. She glanced over both shoulders before continuing. “Anyone could find out you’re not the director.”

“But they won’t.”

“Where is Director Jackson? You have to have clearance to get into this wing of the building.”

“Did you know Agent Burns?”

“Not personally,” Sarina replied, relaxing her stance somewhat. “I know he’s been missing in the field for a couple of months.”

“Director Jackson didn’t believe that I was Agent Burns.”

“You’re not Agent Burns.”

“We’re arguing semantics here,” Langley purred, the cigar firmly between his teeth as he smiled at Sarina. “Burns is dead and Jackson is going to meet with an unfortunate fate later this afternoon.”

“You can’t just kill federal agents. There are laws to uphold. You’ll be prosecuted and your actions risk exposing Liz and Max.”

“I have my own laws and rules to uphold,” Langley countered, his demeanor changed in an instant. “And I’ll kill any agent that even thinks about threatening Liz’s life. I could kill you right now and no one would even know you were gone.”

Sarina gasped, falling backwards into the chair. Her momentum caused the chair to flip over and she quickly rolled to her feet, facing Langley once again.

“But,” Langley continued as Sarina met his eyes, “Liz likes ya so I think I’ll keep you around. A word of advice though.” He paused to make sure Sarina was paying attention to him. “Get out of the FBI. Quit, say you’re mentally busted, whatever. Just leave.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“I’m just doing what I was trained to do and there will be fireworks all over this building before I’m through. I would tell you to ask these guys,” he waved his hands across the stack of photographs, revealing their true appearance to Sarina’s horrified eyes, “but they’re toast.”

“You...you’re a monster.”

“Nope. Just an alien on a mission. Now get outta here. Go to Roswell. No one can hurt you there. But I’ll warn you again,” he seethed, grabbing Sarina’s arm before she had an opportunity to react. “Tell anyone what you’ve seen or what you know and you’ll beg for mercy before I’m finished with you. Got it?” Sarina nodded her understanding. “Good. Later, alligator,” he said as he escorted Sarina to the office door and after shoving her into the hall, he closed the door behind her.

* * *

ROSWELL

Kyle stood on the threshold of the police station, the smell of coffee and strawberries lingering in the air. He dropped his duffle bag to the ground and absently scratched his ear, a grimace forming on his face. Taking several deep breaths, his eyes closed as he tried to find his center, he scooped the duffle bag off the ground and barged into the police station. He could see Owen’s confused expression as he stepped to the front desk, his own lips taut in trepidation. “Hey, Owen. Dad around?”

“Well, hey, Kyle. Yeah, yeah, he’s in the back. Today’s when Amy brings her strawberry pound cake for breakfast. Let me go get him.”

“Thanks,” Kyle replied, a smile cresting on his face as he leaned his elbows against the front desk, Owen abandoning him in search of his father. He didn’t have very long in peace before both Jim and Amy peered their heads around the door frame. Kyle straightened his posture, giving his father a little wave, and Jim all but hurdled the front desk to get to his son.

“My God,” Jim said as his arms went around Kyle’s shoulders and neck, his voice quaking with emotion. “It’s really you. My God.” Jim surprised Kyle, as well as Owen and Amy, by kissing his son’s cheek. He paused and pressed his hands to Kyle’s face, staring into his son’s eyes. “My God,” he exclaimed again, hugging Kyle once more. “Where’s Max and Liz and everyone else?”

“They’re not here, Dad,” Kyle admitted as he stepped out of his father’s embrace, nodding to Amy as Jim threw his arm over Kyle’s shoulders. “It’s just me.”

“Did something happen? What’s going on, Kyle?”

“Yeah, Dad. Something happened,” Kyle replied, grabbing his duffle bag off the counter. “I’m going to go home, okay. I want to sleep in my own bed. When is your shift over?”

“I’ll be finished in two hours. Amy and I were going to go out but we can cancel. I’m sure the Parkers and the Evans will want to talk to you.”

“I...I don’t want to talk about it, Dad. I’ll see you when you get home.”

Part 41

“Do you think Kyle’s in Roswell by now,” Maria questioned as she and Liz sat in view of the harbor, Jesse playing with Alex several yards away. Max and Michael had wanted to walk around the city to give Jesse a private moment with Alex but Liz had adamantly refused. She would stop being Alex’s pseudo-parent only when Jesse pried him from her hands, when there was no room left for her to hope that he could remain with she and Max.

“I’m sure he is.”

“God, my mom is probably freaking out, especially if Kyle tells them about Isabel. Can you imagine how the Evans will feel? They may never see their only daughter’s child, and all that remains of their daughter are her ashes.”

“All of our parents are in that situation, Maria,” Liz reminded her, momentarily turning her face toward her oldest friend. Maria nodded in agreement and the two friends quickly joined hands, their attention drawn back to Jesse and Alex.


July 2, 2002

I don’t know how much longer I stand this. We’ve been in Boston almost 2 days, Jesse paid for our hotel rooms so we were able to sleep in comfortable beds instead of being wedged in the van. Alex has been staying with us the majority of the time with Jesse only visiting him at night. Maybe it’s just the onslaught of alien and pregnancy hormones rushing through my body but I can’t take any more of this limbo. Jesse plays with Alex, they respond well to each other. I just feel like there is something lingering in the air, something that Jesse is not saying. I feel like I’m holding my breath underwater, just waiting until I run out of air and float away.


Max and Liz sat in the conference room of Jesse’s law office in the same seats they’d occupied almost two days earlier. Jesse had called their hotel room several hours earlier asking that they meet him in his office to discuss Alex. Liz rolled the silver bracelet around her wrist, the beads occasionally clinking against the table as the bracelet moved. She could feel Max’s eyes on her but didn’t dare look at him. Her eyes were swollen from crying because she knew that this was the moment Jesse would take Alex from her.

“Hey,” Jesse said as he stepped into the room, a legal-size manila folder with several documents tucked safely underneath his arm. “Let’s go over some of this, okay.”

Liz drew in several shallow breaths, her shoulders heaving involuntarily as Jesse spread the documents across the table. She pulled her hands to her mouth in a vain attempt to keep her emotions under control but it was unsuccessful. “I’m sorry,” she exhaled, tears streaming down her face.

Jesse spun away from her toward the credenza, returning with a box of tissues in his hand as he faced Liz once again. “I never meant for this to be difficult for you, Liz,” Jesse admitted as Liz blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes. He glanced at Max, a helpless look on his face, a similar expression mirrored on Max’s.

“I know,” she sobbed, Jesse’s words reigniting and fueling her tears. “Alex is your son. He needs to be with you. You’re his father. I....I just became...too attached to him.”

“That’s why I want you and Max to keep him,” Jesse replied and Liz’s tears immediately stopped, just as Rachel entered the conference room, an unopened Fed Ex package in her hand.

* * *

ROSWELL

“Is Kyle here,” Diane questioned, almost before Jim had fully opened the door. Jim saw Philip and Jeff and Nancy Parker on his front stoop, their heads wedged tightly together so all four of their faces would be visible.

“He is,” Jim admitted as he opened the door wider, the four parents charging into his living room. “He’s said he doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”

“Then something must have happened,” Philip deduced as he and Diane sat on the sofa, Nancy claiming the chair closest to Diane when Amy appeared from the kitchen.

“I don’t know,” Jim admitted, Amy placing her hand on his shoulder as she sat in the other chair. “He’s been in his room since I got home.”

“We need to talk to him,” Diane continued. “He’s the only one that can tell us how are children are doing. Your child is here, Jim, and ours are still out there somewhere.”

“They’re fine,” Kyle said from behind them, standing in the doorway of his bedroom, and the six parents all turned toward him, their faces eager for information. “Max and Liz and Michael and Maria are all fine.”

“What about Isabel,” Diane questioned as Kyle walked into the kitchen. “Wasn’t Isabel with you? Didn’t Jesse’s FBI friend - what was her name, Philip?”

“Sarina Zachary.”

“Didn’t Sarina Zachary find Isabel?”

Kyle drained the glass of water and calmly placed the empty glass into the sink. He lowered his head slightly, gripping the edge of the sink until his knuckles turned white. He knew he owed them some kind of explanation, especially now that he’d not included Isabel in the list. He turned around slowly, his eyes sought out his father first. Jim looked anxious and curious about Kyle’s next comments but not nearly as anxious as Isabel’s parents. He opened his mouth, unsure exactly what would come out, when the doorbell rang.

“Wait, Kyle,” Jim cautioned. “Let me get rid of whoever this is.”

Kyle exhaled, stepping into the living room to see who was at the door and who had interrupted him at such a crucial moment. Jim signed the clipboard and closed the door behind him, presenting Kyle with a Fed Ex package from Boston. “Who do you know in Boston?”

“It’s from Isabel, isn’t it,” Diane asked, a wide smile on her face, as Kyle took the package from his father. “She’s with Jesse in Boston.” He stared around the room, six sets of eyes upon him. Closing his eyes and inhaling deeply to find his center, he opened the package.

Part 42

ROSWELL

Kyle pulled a single piece of paper from the package, the brick red script boldly drawing his eye to the top of the letterhead, and he noticed it was a short note from Jesse’s law firm. He scanned it quickly, then dug into the Fed Ex package again, pulling out a sealed envelope addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

“Is it from Isabel,” Diane asked, sitting on the edge of the couch, her hands entwined with Philip’s. “I’m sure it’s from Isabel.

Kyle raised his eyes at her for a second then shifted his focus to his father still standing by the front door. “It’s from Jesse.”

“What does it say, son?”

Exhaling slowly, Kyle raised the single piece of paper and read aloud. “This is a letter that should make things easier to explain. Please call when you get the chance. Jesse.” He walked to the Evans and presented them with the sealed envelope, a pensive smile on his face. “It’s addressed to you.”

Diane took the envelope, she opened it as Kyle stepped away from her and toward Jim. “It’s from Max,” Diane whispered, her eyes misting with tears as she lowered the page to her lap. “Dear Mom and Dad,” she began again after several seconds. The parents hung on her every word, and Kyle wished he didn’t have to go through this again. He had already lost too many people and was too tired to continue mourning, the thought of Isabel’s death still fresh in his mind.

“This is the hardest letter I’ll probably ever write. Before I begin, I want you to know that I love you very much. I’m sorry that who and what I am has disrupted our lives like this. There is no place I’d rather be right now that in Roswell but I can’t. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to come back home. Just know, and please let Liz’s parents know, that we love you and miss you.” Diane crumbled at the admission and Philip gently took the letter from her hands as Nancy and Amy moved to comfort her.

“On June 30th, your grandson was born. His name is Alex, and he is Isabel’s son. There are things that you should know, things I can’t tell you – can’t write down in a letter - so I’ll just have to wait and hope that maybe I’ll see you again so you can hear the entire story. Sarina Zachary found Isabel in New Orleans and took her to Knoxville, Tennessee, where Alex was born. Knoxville is also where Isabel died.”

“What,” Diane questioned, glancing from Philip to Kyle, who shrank away from her harsh stare.

“I’m not sure exactly what happened,” Philip continued, his left hand clutching Diane’s shoulder. “Liz got to Isabel before I did. She and Sarina were the last people to see Isabel alive. I can’t even begin to imagine how I’ll live the rest of my life without my sister, or how you’re reacting to the thought of never seeing your daughter again. Part of me realizes that she’s gone but there’s part of me that hasn’t totally accepted it yet. I may never accept it. I don’t think she suffered and she left behind a healthy baby boy that Liz refuses to let out of her sight.

“We came to Boston to give Alex to Jesse, and to tell Jesse about Isabel’s death. Liz is explaining it to him now as I write this letter. I’m sorry you had to learn about it like this. This isn’t the kind of news that should be told in a letter and I’m sorry I have to deliver it like this. I, all of us, should be there to grieve with you. I’m sorry that we had to leave home. And I’m very, very sorry I couldn’t save Isabel’s life.” Philip stopped reading, lowering the letter to his lap.

“That’s it,” Jeff questioned and Philip handed the letter to him for his inspection. Jeff glanced at the page then wordlessly returned the letter to Philip. Nancy, Diane and Amy huddled together in between them.

“I’m sorry,” Kyle whispered, his voice cracking so he quickly cleared his throat. “I...I wouldn’t have known what to tell you.”

“But you knew,” Diane asked as she wiped her face with the back of her hands. Kyle hesitantly nodded.

“Isabel and I had grown really close over the last year. I considered her a very good friend. I...I couldn’t have been the one to tell you that she was gone. I have a hard time admitting it to myself.”

“Is that why you left them?”

“Liz wanted to take Alex to Boston to give him to Jesse. If I went with them, I knew I’d get attached to him and I couldn’t do that to myself knowing I might never see him again. It was just better for me to come home.”

“And I’m glad you did, son,” Jim said, pulling Kyle into a hug, a somber mood overshadowing all other emotions in the Valenti living room. “I’m so glad you did.”

* * *

BOSTON

“Excuse me,” Liz questioned, glancing from Jesse to Max then back to Jesse again as Rachel entered and exited the room, depositing a Fed Ex package on the corner of the conference room table.

“I want you and Max to keep him,” Jesse said again, making eye contact with Liz for several seconds before he pulled the first document toward him. “Now this is a power of attorney -”

“Does this, is it because of Rachel?”

“Rachel,” Jesse questioned, his voice breaking as he lay the pen down on top of the document he had begun to show to Liz. “What does Rachel have to do with this?”

“Do you have feelings for her,” Max asked leaning his elbows on the table, an accusatory glare on his face.

“What’s this about,” Jesse continued, his voice growing louder. “Rachel has nothing to do with this.”

“Liz got a flash,” Max countered.

“What?”

“I think Rachel has feelings for you,” Liz admitted as both Jesse and Max turned their attention to her. “I felt it when I touched her the first time we met.”

“Rachel and I are co-workers. We work long hours together -”

“You’re not answering the question,” Max interrupted. “Do you have feelings for her?”

“We’re friends but even if I did have feelings for her, I don’t see how that would be any business of yours.”

“You’re married to Isabel,” Max roared, jumping up from his seat at the table. Jesse stood up in response, Liz quickly following suit, her hands on Max’s arms to try and calm him down.

“I’m not married to Isabel any longer,” Jesse replied, the vein in his neck bulging wildly as he and Max glared at each other.

“This isn’t about Isabel,” Liz forcefully reprimanded both men, nudging Max back into his chair. Max lowered himself, his eyes never leaving Jesse’s face. After watching Max begin his downward descent, Jesse returned to his chair also. “This is about Alex.”

“You’re right, Liz,” Jesse said, picking up the pen once again. “This is about Alex and what’s best for him. That’s why I think you should keep him. A son magically appearing in my life wouldn’t be beneficial, especially because of the hours and nature of my work. I want Alex to be well-cared for, and I’m prepared to do what I can, financially speaking, because he is my son.”

He pushed the documents forward into Liz’s view once again, nervously tapping the tip of the pen on the tabletop. “These documents establish a trust in Alex’s name. I’ll deposit a percentage of my yearly salary into the trust which will be made available to him when he turns eighteen. I can also provide a monthly stipend to you and Max for his daily care. We can go over the specific amount later.”

“Are you sure about this,” Liz questioned while Max looked over the documents. “He is your son, Jesse. This...this is a big decision.”

“This is a voluntary waiver of rights I’ve drawn up,” Jesse continued. “As you can see, I’ve already signed it.” Jesse handed the document to Liz, who held it loosely in her hands

“What does this mean?”

“It means I’m giving up my rights to Alex. That once it’s filed with the court, I can’t get him back.” Jesse paused, bowing his head for a moment. “I want to know him, Liz, but I can’t take him. I can’t raise him. He needs to be with people that will accept him and nurture him and love him unconditionally. You and Max can help him so much more than I can.”

“Oh,” Liz said, a feeling of disbelief rushing through her brain where stringent happiness should have been. She glanced at the waiver once more, the realization finally hitting her that Alex was hers to keep forever and, unable to hold back her emotions any longer, she cried.


I guess I can understand Jesse’s hesitation to take Alex. Not only did the small boy look exactly like Isabel, he was half alien. Combine the unknown alien abilities of his child and the fact that he would constantly be looking over his shoulder as he tried to raise the boy in a safe environment, why would anyone want to deal with that risk when they didn’t have to? Besides, Isabel had given Alex to me, and I intended to raise him as Isabel would have wanted. I owe her that much. I already have plans to send Alex to Harvard, with Jesse’s money, of course, and I don’t think Jesse would have it any other way. I’ll tell Alex the entire story one day...one day when he’s old enough to understand.

It’s different now, really; not only do Max and I have Alex but we also have our own child on the way, our little Isabel Hope. I suppose that’s one of life’s great ironies - we lose one only to gain another. The cycle of life never really ends, no matter how much we grieve the death of a loved one or relish the coming of another. Everything, I suppose, has its season, and we must continue to live, to push through the trying times, and endure. As one wise Valenti once told me (quoting the Indigo Girls, no less) the prize is worth the rocky ride. What a prize this life will be if my own rocky road is any indication.

Part 43


Liz held tightly to Max’s right hand as they walked out of the front doors of the Prudential Building, her legs shaky, Max’s left arm securely around her shoulders. She saw Maria and Michael before they saw her, Michael holding a sleeping Alex. She pitched forward but Max’s arm kept her in his grasp. The two couples walked toward each other, Liz greedily taking Alex from Michael.

“Where’s Jesse,” Maria questioned, looking past Liz and Max. “Is he coming to get Alex?”

“Alex is staying with us,” Liz whispered as she placed a slight kiss on Alex’s head. “Jesse gave him up.”

“What? Really?”

“He’s ours,” Liz remarked, rocking her upper torso back and forth, Alex fitting naturally against her chest.

Maria carefully hugged her, not wanting to wake Alex, and she wiped away Liz’s tears. “God, I can’t believe this. It’s...it’s a miracle.”

“Wait!”

The group turned toward the building as Jesse’s voice echoed across the plaza. He was running toward them, carrying something in his left hand and Liz unconsciously tightened her grip on Alex.

“Remember the Fed Ex package,” Jesse questioned, raising his left arm for their inspection. Liz sighed inwardly; she had forgotten all about the package Rachel brought into Jesse during their meeting. “There’s something you should see.”

“What is it,” Max asked, flanking Liz’s left side, Maria and Michael to her right. “Why would we need to see it? Wasn’t it addressed to you?”

“It was,” Jesse said with a nod, “so I opened it. It’s really addressed to you, Liz.” He offered Liz a sealed manila envelope, her name written on the exterior in black ink. She passed Alex into Max’s waiting arms and slowly opened the envelope.

“What is it,” Maria whispered and Liz exhaled, realizing that she had been holding her breath as she opened the envelope, fearing the worst. Four sets of eyes peered over her shoulders as she pulled a folded piece of paper from the envelope. She unfolded it slowly and her eyes scanned the note.


Liz -

You and yours are safe. Don’t ask me to explain; just know that I’ve done my programmed duties. Enjoy your life and this parting gift. Should you need my services again, I’ll be there.

Cal


She passed the note to Michael, digging further into the envelope. The group huddled tighter together and she removed two more documents: a deed and a check. “What?”

Jesse took the deed from her, quickly scanning the document. He raised his head, a look of surprise on his face. “It...it’s legal and binding.”

“What is it,” Liz questioned and she felt Max’s body push against hers, Michael and Maria closed the intervals of the circle.

“It’s a deed to a piece of property in New Orleans. A Cal Langley owned it and he’s deeded it to you and Max. Wait,” Jesse cautioned, his eyes skimming the page. “Okay. Congratulations. You own a house.”

“In New Orleans?” Jesse nodded his head and Liz glanced at the check for the first time. “Oh my God.”

“Liz? What is it?”

“This check. It...it’s written for fifty thousand dollars,” she replied in an excited whisper. “Cal wrote a check for fifty thousand dollars.”

“We can buy a real car,” Maria shrieked. “Two even!”

“Who is this Cal Langley,” Jesse asked, and the two couples exchanged glances, forgetting that Jesse didn’t know anything about Cal Langley.

“He was our protector,” Max replied. “He’s the man I went to see in Los Angeles last fall, and we went to see him again when we left Roswell.”

“Why would he give you a house and so much money? What did he mean that you’re safe?”

“I don’t know,” Max said, Alex stirring in his arms and he shifted his hold on the tiny boy. “The only danger we were in was from the FBI.”

“My God,” Liz whispered. “Sarina. Langley wouldn’t hurt Sarina, would he?”

“You know him better than anyone, Liz,” Max replied and Liz began sifting through her purse for Sarina’s card. Jesse handed her his cell phone when she found it, and Liz frantically dialed the number.

“Hello?”

“Sarina? Oh, thank God.”

“Liz,” Sarina questioned, pulling off the side of highway 80 almost fifty miles outside of Lubbock, Texas. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is it Alex?”

“No, no. We’re fine. We just got a letter from Langley.”

“He was in D. C. I saw him earlier in the week.”

“Where are you,” Liz asked, Jesse’s cell phone signal breaking for a split second.

“On my way to Roswell.”

“Roswell,” Liz said as she exchanged glances with Max, Michael, Maria and Jesse. “Why are you going to Roswell?”

“That’s where Langley told me to go. He has a fierce devotion to you, Liz, and I’m thankful he does because I thought he might kill me.”

“Did he threaten you?”

“Yes, but I understand why. He’s protecting you. I guess he’s protecting me now too. I’ve got to go, Liz. I hope I’ll talk to you again soon.”

“Be careful, Sarina. Please tell our parents -”

“You know I will,” Sarina said. “Bye, Liz.”

“Bye.” Liz ended the call and returned the cell phone to Jesse. “Sarina’s fine. She saw Langley in D. C. She’s on her way to Roswell.”

“Why?”

“Langley told her to,” Liz replied with a shrug. “The FBI wouldn’t make a public announcement if agents were killed, would it? Would the agency make a press release?”

“It depends on a lot of things,” Jesse answered. “If the agents were imbedded or undercover...I can’t really give you a definite answer, Liz. Why?”

“I think Langley got rid of the Special Unit,” Liz admitted, dropping Sarina’s card back into her purse. “I think he killed the remaining agents.”

“So we’re really safe,” Maria questioned, linking her arms around Michael’s waist and resting her head onto his shoulder. “It’s really over?”

“It looks that way,” Max replied, wrapping his free arm around Liz’s shoulders, pulling her close to he and Alex.

“Then let me ask this,” Maria began, focusing her attention solely on Liz. “Langley gave you the money and a house but I can’t take charity.”

“It’s not charity, Maria.”

“I want to ask you for a loan, just a small one,” Maria continued, “so I can go to New York.”

“What,” Liz exclaimed, her shock registering on her face. “Maria -”

“You and Max have a family, Liz, a house,” Maria argued. “This is what I want. I want to see if I can make it in the big city.”

“You can,” Liz said, a tearful smile on her face. “I know you’ll make it, Maria.”

“Then you’ll loan me some money?”

“As much as you need,” Liz cried, and the two friends hugged each other tightly, Max, Michael and Jesse merely watching the scene. “What about Michael?” They released each other from the hug but kept their arms intertwined.

“I’m going with Maria,” he said with a shrug. “There’s no way I’m letting her go to New York by herself.”

“No one is letting me, Space Boy,” Maria amended, playfully punching Michael’s shoulder. “But I’d love for you to go with me.”

“Fine,” Michael replied with mock disgust, quickly pulling Maria away from Liz and into his arms. “We’ll go together.”

“I can wire transfer the money once everyone is settled, if you need my help,” Jesse offered. “I can set up the account at the firm’s bank then disburse the funds.”

“Thanks,” Liz said, a smile on her face as she endorsed the check and made it payable to Jesse. She exhaled slowly, turning around the face Michael and Maria. “So this is really good-bye,” Liz questioned as she chewed on her lower lip.

“No,” Maria said, pulling Liz into a fierce hug. “It’s see you later.”

Liz buried her head against Maria’s neck, her cheeks damp with tears. She and Maria, their arms still entwined, hugged Jesse quickly before Max gave Alex to Jesse for their good-bye. Michael gave the keys to Max, their hug brief. Jesse passed Alex to Maria, pulling out two business cards from his pocket, handing one to Liz and one to Maria.



Once the good-byes were exchanged, we each went in separate directions: Max and I to the van, Maria and Michael to the train station and Jesse to his office. I didn’t turn around to watch them leave. I kept my face focused on my steps toward the van, not how much distance was accumulating between us. The group once again splintered apart but I know our thoughts still linger on each other, those with us and those we’ve lost along the way, and that maybe one day, we’ll all be together again.

Part 44

ROSWELL

Sarina parked her white Honda Civic in the first available space outside the Roswell Sheriff’s Department. It just so happened that the space was beside Jim Valenti’s tan Ford Explorer, a vehicle she recognized instantly. She smiled to herself and stepped out of the car. The sun was high in the sky and so bright that Sarina immediately lowered her sunglasses from the top of her head onto the bridge of her nose to cover her eyes. When she reached the corner of the building, she paused and nervously ran her hands down her white linen capri pants and straightened her purple tank top. The last time she had been in Roswell, she had snuck into the lives of the concerned parents, begging for information about their children. A slight breeze dusted across the block and several loose tendrils of hair fell into her face. Inhaling sharply, she squared her shoulders and burst through the glass double doors. She marched straight toward the front desk counter, intent on asking for Deputy Jim Valenti when she stopped, uncertain what she felt as she watched Kyle busy himself behind the counter.

She pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, softly walking to the front desk. “Hello.” She rested her palms on the top of the high counter, Kyle having just disappeared behind the counter as she stepped forward. He slowly raised up, his blue eyes instantly meeting her brown ones, and she felt all the breath leave her lungs.

“What...what are you doing here?”

“You aren’t glad to see me,” she questioned, surprised to feel fear circulating within her stomach. In all the scenarios that had played out in her mind as she drove from Washington to Roswell, this was not like any she had envisioned. Granted, she and Kyle had only had one conversation in Knoxville, but she had felt a kinship with him, the spark of a relationship that could exist between them despite their difference in age. He had moved her in ways she had no longer thought possible and she had been more than happy to comply with Langley’s request to move to Roswell.

“No,” he said, snapping her back to the reality of the situation. “Just surprised, that’s all. I...I didn’t expect to see you.”

“You said I should stop by if I were ever in Roswell, so,” she replied with a smile, “I’m stopping by.”

“Are you headed to California?”

“Actually, I thought I might stay here.”

“Here,” Kyle questioned, his voice cracking at a high octave, his neck craning forward while his palms splayed onto the counter. Sarina backed away from him, confusion on her face. “Why would you want to stay here?”

“Langley told me to come here.”

“What?” Kyle looked left then right around the station. It was relatively empty but for the exception of Owen sitting behind him. Kyle motioned his head to the right, stepping from behind the counter, immediately grabbing Sarina’s arm the moment the partition no longer separated them. “What do you mean? When did you see Langley?”

“He was in D. C. last week. He...he showed me photographs of agents that he’d killed -”

“He’s dangerous, Sarina.”

“I know that,” she shot back, instantly sorry for her tone. “He told me to get out of the FBI. He told me to come to Roswell.”

“Did you know any of the agents?”

“No. I think they were with the Special Unit. He said something about having his own laws and rules to uphold. I didn’t understand what he meant but I...I was too scared to question him. I packed my stuff and hit the road.”

“God,” Kyle exhaled as he pulled her into his arms and Sarina instantly melded against him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, winding them up his back while he pressed his mouth to her neck. A chill swept over her and she unconsciously tightened her grip on him. “You’re safe,” Kyle whispered into her ear. “We’re all safe now.”

* * *

BOSTON

Jesse tapped his pencil against the yellow legal notepad as he stared out the window of his office, his mind wandering from the oral argument he was scheduled to give the following week to thoughts of Isabel and their son. He stood up from the desk after carefully placing his pencil on top of the empty notepad and continued to stare out the window onto the harbor.

“Jesse,” Rachel began as she flew into the office, her arms full of case law, briefs and notes she had made for his upcoming case. “Oh,” she replied when he did not move from his position against the window. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re fine,” he replied in a monotone, not looking at her. “Just drop that stuff in my chair and I’ll look over it later.” Rachel nodded and rounded the corner of Jesse’s desk, dropping the pile of materials into his chair. She stood straight as she worked up the courage to talk to him about his somber mood for the past several days but decided against it, choosing instead to organize the pile in his chair into crisscrossed piles. Several minutes elapsed with no conversation and once her task complete, Rachel had no reason to remain in Jesse’s office. She glanced at him then hastily stepped toward his office door. Instead of leaving as she had proposed to do, Rachel closed the door and spun around the face Jesse.

“Jesse, I would like to think we’re friends,” she began, hesitantly stepping toward the two leather chairs in front of his desk. “I know we’re co-workers, that you’re technically my boss and that as your employee, I shouldn’t be saying this but as your friend, I want you to know I’m worried about you. You’ve been...distant since meeting with the Parkers and that’s just...that’s not like you.”

“You’re right, Rachel,” Jesse said as he turned toward his chair, indicating that Rachel should sit down in front of his desk. He picked up the materials from his own chair and deposited them on one corner of his desk before sitting down. “I’ve been distant and I should have explained what was happening.”

“Is it...bad,” Rachel questioned.

“In a way,” Jesse began. “My wife died.”

Rachel inhaled in shock before she could control herself. “I...I didn’t know you were married.”

“No one does. I led Mr. Langtree to believe that I was divorced when he agreed to hire me. My wife was in a kind of witness protection program. I...I hadn’t spoken to her in several weeks.”

“Oh. I’m very sorry.”

“I didn’t know it,” he began, biting back tears. He paused for several seconds, trying to get his emotions under control. “I didn’t know it at the time but she was pregnant -”

“Jesse, my God.”

“And I’ve recently discovered that the Parkers adopted our son.”

“How did you find that out? Aren’t most adoptions supposed to be private, or at least isn’t specific information supposed to be private?”

“It doesn’t matter how I found out,” Jesse said, shaking his head. “I’m not going to openly pursue him.”

“He’s your son. He deserves to be with his father. He and the Parkers deserve to know the truth.”

Jesse nodded his head in agreement then quickly covered his face with his hands. A single sob racked his body and he pulled his hands down the length of his face. “You deserve the truth too, Rachel. It’s just that the truth is complicated and if I tell you the whole truth, everything that I know, it could place your life in danger.”

“I work for the criminal division of a high-profile law firm. There’s always a chance that someone’s relative who was unhappy with the outcome of a case could come after me. Do you remember that pregnant drug addict that came into the office a few weeks ago? There’s nothing you could tell me that can scare me more than that situation.”

“The woman that came here that day, she wasn’t a drug addict,” Jesse said with a sigh. “She was my wife.”

* * *

NEW YORK CITY

“So this is New York,” Michael questioned, his hair pulled off his neck in a neat ponytail as he and Maria walked toward Times Square. It was mid-morning, the city around them hurrying about their daily activities, their pace a crawl in comparison. “It’s big.”

“Do you like it,” Maria asked as they paused to stare at the big screen t. v. in the middle of the square. “Can you live here?”

“I’ll live anywhere as long as it’s with you,” Michael said, pulling her into a hug as the crowd on the sidewalk darted past them on either side. “You’re going to do great things, Maria. I don’t doubt it for a minute and I want to be here to witness them.”

“Thank you, Michael. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

LOS ANGELES

Cal Langley drudged through the front door of his home, his black-soled shoes making black marks on the white tile in the foyer. He blindly dropped his car keys and shrugged out of his smelly black jacket, a light covering of dust feathered out across the foyer as it fell off his wrists. He stumbled forward, his head narrowly missing the corner of the banister as he lost consciousness and fell onto the ground.

* * *

A nagging prod pushed against his chest and Langley swatted it away with his hands. The annoyance stopped for a few seconds but quickly returned full force, and at a faster tempo. He slapped again and connected with human flesh. “Senor Cal? Senor Cal?”

Sunlight seeped underneath his black sunglasses and he quickly pulled them over his eyes, sitting up on the bottom step. He felt feminine hands underneath his armpits and an aroma of aloe vera and Tilex filled his nostrils. “Rosita,” he choked, his mouth contorting into an ugly grimace. “What time is it?”

“It’s 3:00.”

“What day is it,” Langley questioned as he ran his right hand along the base of his neck. He strained from left to right, turning it as far as it would go. He didn’t care about Rosita’s shocked expressions at his dexterity; he simply cared about make sure everything was back in its original place. “What day is it,” he questioned again, snapping his fingers at Rosita. She jumped and pulled her arms toward her chest.

“It’s Friday. You know I come to clean on Fridays.”

“Oh,” Langley said as he attempted to stand, grabbing his head. He felt Rosita’s hands underneath his arms and felt thankful to have her help. “I need to call Brian. I’ve got a great idea for a movie.”

“If you don’t mind me saying, Senor Cal,” Rosita growled once Langley was solidly on his feet, “you look like shit.”

“And if you don’t mind me since we’re being honest, Rosita, I feel like shit.” He strained his neck again, reaching into his discarded jacket for his cell phone. “Could you make me some iced tea, lots of lemon?”

“It’s not in my job description to make you food, Senor Cal,” Rosita argued, her hands firmly on her hips. “I’m only supposed to clean the entire house from top to bottom each week on Friday and not -”

“Not ask any questions about what you see,” Langley continued for her. “I know the job description. I wrote the job description. It’s a favor, Rosita. If you can’t do it, I will do it myself when I’m finished talking to Brian.”

“Since you look so bad, I’ll do it for you,” Rosita said as she started to the kitchen. “Just this time, Senor Cal. I cook for no man.”

“Making a pitcher of iced tea is cooking,” Langley shot back, the sarcasm thick in his voice. Rosita stopped just before she disappeared down the hallway and looked over her shoulder at Langley. She glared for a second which caused Langley to laugh just as Brian answered his telephone. “Brian, it’s Cal. No, I had something to take care out of town. No. No. Listen, Brian, I need you to get over here. I’ve got a great idea for a movie. Pitch it to you,” Langley said as he lowered himself to the stairs. “Okay. It’s a movie about aliens. No, just listen. It’s a movie about an alien boy in love with a human girl. He saves her life and they have to go on the run from the FBI. Yes, they eventually have sex.”

Langley dropped his arms to his side, removing the cell phone from his ear as Brian’s voice continued through the receiver. He wiped his face with his free hand, hearing the vacuum cleaner echo from upstairs, and returned the cell phone to his ear. “I’ve even got a title for it. Miles to Go. This is my movie, Brian, we use my title. Well, who the hell do you think is going to produce it? Just get over here so we can write the damn thing.” He ended the call in the middle of Brian’s sentence but he knew Brian would be over within the hour. He rose to his feet and walked into the kitchen, trying to imagine what unknown brunette he could cast in the part of Beth Cannon, formerly played by Liz Parker.

* * *

NEW ORLEANS

“Look at this house, Max,” Liz exclaimed as she and Max exited the van in the gravel driveway of the house Langley had deeded to them. It was a small Greek Revival, four white columns adorning the front of the house attached to a large flat porch. Liz took Alex into her arms, her stomach bulging slightly as Hope continued to grow inside her, and she and Max walked to the front door hand in hand. A man looking to be their age sat in the wicker chair beside the front door.

“Are you the new owners,” the man asked, standing to his feet as Max and Liz appeared on the porch.

“Yes,” Max cautiously responded as he stepped in front of Liz. “Who are you?”

“I’m just the messenger,” the man responded and offered an envelope to Max. Max took the envelope with some trepidation but didn’t open it right away. “See ya.” The messenger stepped off the porch and walked through the front yard away from their house, heading toward the French Quarter.

“What is it,” Liz asked, Max clutching the envelope in his hand, both of them watching the man disappear out of their line of sight. Max ran his fingers along the outside of the envelope and Liz touched the corner of the envelope, unable to contain her curiosity any longer. “It’s a key,” Liz said with a smile, raising her face to meet Max’s. “It’s a key to our house.”

Max tore open the envelope and produced a single silver key. He smiled widely at Liz then carefully and cautiously put the key into the doorknob.


July 8, 2002

I never knew the unlocking of a door could make my heart swell with such joy. Max picked both Alex and I up, despite my protests that I would break his back, and carried us over the threshold into our new home. Sparse pieces of furniture littered the entire house, and Alex finally had an actual crib to sleep in. We placed him in his room complete with an outer space theme both Max and I had to laugh about. We made love in our new bed, then drank iced tea and toasted our future with the words of someone I love: Our future is what we make of it. To be determined.

I wish I could predict the future but I can’t. I can’t see that far down the road; I can only hope. I do have the distinct feeling that our paths will cross again, that we will be reunited with the Maria, Michael, Kyle and our parents, if only for a little while. For now though, Max and I have to make it alone, with Alex a permanent fixture in our lives and Hope on the way. I’m Liz Parker Evans and I’m not so scared anymore. I’m just doing the best I can - carrying on, enduring, living.