Roswell Fanatics

*Max*

As soon as Liz and I get into the hallway, I speed up my steps. We pass the place where we'd left Michael and Isabel, but they're not there anymore. No matter. I'll get them later.

"Here," I say as I push open the door to the Eraser room again. "I really need to tell you something."

She looks at me, tilting her head to one side. "What is it?" she asks, uncertainly as she takes a seat.

I bite my lip, a bit scared of what this conversation is going to be. How she's going to react. How mad will she be? Will she still be talking to me at all? And if she is, will she be able to help me figure out what to tell Michael and Isabel or will she just be sorry she even told me what she was? Although, this did happen before that, and wouldn't have happened at all if she had told me sooner....

No, I stop myself. It's not in any way her fault. She had very good reasons to keep it a secret for as long as she did.

"Liz, I have to tell you something. I did something today. Something... I'm really sorry that I did." I frown hard, bracing myself. This is going to be so very hard.... "Okay, I told you earlier about the flash I got - about the box. You told me what it was a little while ago, the book inside, but I'm afraid I already-" I grimmace, drawing in a sharp breath through my teeth. "At lunch time, I went to your room and tried to figure out what it was - why it seemed to be so important, in the flashes..."

I stop myself then, turning my face down and my eyes up to look at her appologetically, waiting for her reaction.

OOC: I'll format tomorrow, for now it's late, I'm tired and I'm off to bed

~Liz~

Ainsling and Serena don’t raise any objections…or at least not at first, so we take it that they’ve agreed and max stands up, pulling me up beside him. My hand remains firmly held in his as he thanks them quickly and then leads me out of the room, saying that we’ll see them shortly.

As soon as we get outside the door, Max’s pace quickens and I look over at him curiously. This definitely isn’t the way to the parking lot…and I know that Isabel’s getting a lift with Alex, or she usually does anyway, so there’s definitely something more behind all this than a worry of leaving her without a lift. Of course earlier he told me that he needed to talk to me, and that never happened…but what could this all be about…?

Walking down the corridor, there’s no secret made of the fact that he’s in a hurry and I wonder briefly, as we pass the spot we saw Isabel and Michael in earlier, what people must be thinking… I know that my questions are definitely mounting… Max is usually so careful not to draw attention, but now…it’s as though he’s forgotten all of that…

“Here...” A few moments later we’re back where we started, stood in front of the door to the Eraser room and Max pushes it open quickly. “I really need to tell you something…” He tells me softly, motioning for me to enter.

Wondering what this is all about, I nod and walk in before him, taking a seat and looking up at him quizzically. “What is it…?” I ask softly.

Max’s expression does nothing to calm me, and neither does the way that he’s biting his lip. He’s nervous about something, that’s for sure… I just can’t imagine what that would be though… I look at him. “Max…what is it…?” I repeat my earlier question, unable to keep my voice from shaking a little. This scene could come almost exactly from one of my nightmares…when I dream about what might have happened had he not been so understanding earlier when I told Max about myself…

He was understanding though, he did say he would be there for me, and I believe him, so I don’t need to be worried about that do I…?

I shake my head. Honestly, I don’t know what to think. I just know that Max obviously has something on his mind…

“Liz, I have to tell you something…I did something today. Something…I’m really sorry that I did…”

He did something…? This still tells me very little, but I can hear my heart pounding. What could he have done…and why…? I just can’t imagine Max doing anything that would warrant this response…

Swallowing, I nod softly. “Go on…”

He frowns and takes a breath. “Okay… I told you earlier about the flash I got – about the box. You told me what to was a little while ago, the book inside, but I’m afraid I already-“

Max grimaces, and I just don’t understand… What’s he trying to say…?

Before I have chance to ask again, Max continues on. “At Lunch time, I went to your room and tried to figure out what it was – why it seemed to be so important, in the flashes…”

I can’t help inhaling sharply as he finally admits what he did. I must be misunderstanding…Max just wouldn’t do that… He wouldn’t violate my privacy like that… I want so much for there to be another explanation, but as he looks up at me, the expression in his eyes does away with any thought of that being the case.

Breathing deeply, once, twice, I try to collect my thoughts. My first reaction is ‘how could he do something like that…?’ My second…’why…?’

He says that he saw it in a flash, yet he never mentioned it last night when he told me what he had seen…

I shake my head. “You broke into my room…” I murmur, still not quite believeing what I’m hearing… It’s not a question, but a statement… The room was locked, from the balcony and from the rest of the house… Not that locked doors provide much of a challenge for Max I guess… My spells would, but I never thought that would be necessary… I swallow and look at him. “Why…?”

*Max*

Why?

Simple enough question. Not so simple to answer. I guess I should be glad that she's not freaking out yet. I am glad, but that doesn't make the next part easy...

I take a deep breath and sit down on a box of copier paper so I'm facing her. She's watching me, still waiting and I clasp my hands together on my knees, staring at them for moment as I whisper. "I was afraid."

"Afraid?" she echoes.

I nod and somehow manage to raise my face to meet her eyes. "Yes. Last night, something was happening. Your flashes were drawing us closer together. You saw the whirlwind galaxy and our ship. But at the same time, I was seeing things that you wouldn't explain. I saw Ms. Brennan and Serena and you lied about it."

Liz moves slightly as if about to interupt, but I raise a hand to stop her. "I know. I know now why and I understand, but I didn't then. I only knew you had a secret and you wouldn't trust me with it. It scared me because I'd shared everything about myself with you. I didn't want it to come between us."

I pause then, tilting my head and giving a small brief smile. "I even went to Isabel. I was going to ask her, but I didn't. I told her about your flashes about the ship, but not about that terrible feeling - that you were keeping a secret - that you didn't trust me." I shake my head, again, dropping my gaze. If I had told Isabel, it would only have scared her, too. She'd think it was something that threatened us because we're aliens, that Liz was FBI or something. Not that it hadn't crossed my mind, too, but mostly I was just afraid she would stop loving me...

"I know it doesn't make any sense to respond to your lack of trust by doing something that actually violated the trust you already had - that violated your privacy. I just didn't know what else to do. I just thought I had to know. I'm sorry."

.

OOC: formating will be done when I get back from work. Hope this works for you Isabelle, tell me if you want me to change anything.

~Liz~

The question sounds simple, but it’s obvious it’s not from Max’s posture and position. He takes a deep breath, the conlict in his eyes clear to see and I wait in silence for him to be ready to answer. Finally, he doesn’t look up as he whispers the answer I’m waiting for… “I was afraid…”

“Afraid…?” I know That I’m echoing what he’s just said, but I can’t help it. Max was afraid…I made him feel afraid…

This is one of the things I have always feared before finding out about Max and the others…that to find out who I was would scare him… He might be different, but it’s in a completely different way, and although I might have hoped, I really had no idea how he would react…

In the end though, keeping my secret from him apparently did the same, as Max nods and begins to explain. “Yes. Last night, something was happening. Your flashes were drawing us closer together. You saw the whirlwind galaxy and out ship…” He looks at me. “But at the same time, I was seeing things that you wouldn’t explain. I saw Ms. Brennana and Serena and you lied about it…”

He’s right…I did lie to him. I hated every moment of it, and would never have done it from choice, but the fact remains that I did do it… I don’t know that he will ever understand how sorry I am for that. I wanted to open up and tell him everything, but I needed to speak to Ainsling first… I needed to give her a warning, even if my mind was already made up about what I was going to do. I wish it could have been different though…I didn’t want to scare him… I swallow and open my mouth, about to apologise, but Max raises his hand to make me wait.

“I know. I know now why and I understand, but I didn’t then. I only knew you had a secret and you wouldn’t trust me with it. It scared me because I’d shared everything about myself with you. I didn’t want it to come between us…”

He felt it too… Last night I knew, if I didn’t tell Max today, that was exactly what it was going to do…it was going to drive a wedge between us, and I was going to lose him…

Max looks at me. “I even went to Isabel. I was going to ask her, but I didn’t. I told he about your flashes about the ship, but not that terrible feeing – that you were keeping a secret – that you didn’t trust me…” He shake his head and looks down once more.

There’s the beginning of a few tears forming in the corner of my eyes as I reach out for his hand causing him to look back at me. “I know, I’ve wanted to tell you everything for so long, for the exact same reason… It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you Max, I’d trust you with my life, but I was scared…scared that by keeping this secret, it would destroy us, yet also scared that if I told you, you might walk away…” I shake my head. “I’m sorry…I didn’t want to lie to you, I promise…” The fact that he went to Isabel barely surprises me, the fact he was going to tell her about the flashes from me does, but in the end he didn’t, and to me that proves my believe in him was well placed. I don’t ever want to keep anything from him again…

"I know it doesn’t make any sense to respond to your lack of trust by doing something that actually violated the trust you already had – that violated your privacy. I just didn’t know what else to do. I thought I had to know. I’m sorry…”

However much this might have shocked me, I know one thing, and that is that Max would only do this if, as he is saying, he was desperate. He was desperate for answers, and I can’t say I don’t understand that… After the shooting, I needed to know what had happened, how he had saved me… I knew it wasn’t the healing magic witches sometimes use… It’s what Ainsling and Serena believed I used of course, but I knew better…

Since the moment he took me into his confidence, I have wanted to do the same…

I’m still struggling with what he did, but I know that he wouldn’t do it lightly, and I nod silently for a moment before responding. “I’m sorry you felt that way Max… I can’t say that telling me this hasn’t shaken me somewhat, but the important thing is that you didn’t hide it from me…” I look at him. “If I had gone into my room and found that the box had been tampered with…” Because the box does have a kind of alarm which will tell Serena or I if it has been handled by someone other than ourselves. “…I would have been more than worried… As it was, I know who and why, and that will be something of a reassurance…” I reach for his other hand and then lean towards him, my lips closing on his. “Thank you…”

*Max*

I nod as Liz offers me sympathy for what I was feeling. But I can see the moisture in the corner of her eyes and I know I've upset her. She says she's glad I told her, and I am, too. Keeping this a secret would have been worse in terms of coming between us than her secret was. She's disappointed in me, I can tell, but I think she understands.

"If I had gone into my room and found that the box had been tampered with, I would have been more than worried. As it was, I know who and why, and that will be something of a reassurance…” she says.

I nod again, swallowing hard. Somehow, she would know that the box was moved when she got back to her room, although she wouldn't know exactly who, if I hadn't just told her. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if she didn't know. But even that is only half true. There's more I have to tell her. What am I going to say? She has to know before she gets some kind of flash about it. That would be the worst Before I can figure it out, she reaches for my other hand and then leans towards me. “Thank you…” she says, closing in for a kiss.

I close my eyes, taking it so soft and gentle. The feel of her lips on mine is like a bit of heaven, especially after what I just told her. She still loves me. She's not happy about what I did, but it hasn't changed her feelings.

I pull back slowly, giving her another smile. One filled with love but still a bit crooked because I'm still a bit uncertain. I'm not yet done with what I have to tell her. I hope my luck holds. After all this, I'm pretty sure she'll still love me, but I'm not so sure she'll still be this accepting. She'll have to be scared and angry. She'll have a right.

"Liz, there's more," I tell her, biting my lip. "When I was on my way over there - to your room to find the box - I was intercepted. I - I mean. It was Michael. He stopped me and came along. If I'd known, I never would have let him... I'm sorry. He was with me when I found the box and tried to open it. A heck of a box, really. Our powers couldn't do anything to it. .... How am I going to explain that to him?"

~Liz~


The kiss is soft and gentle…perfect… I understand why Max did this…I’m not saying I like this, but the important thing is that he hasn’t tried to hide it from me…he’s been open about it… No more secrets…

After a few moments, I feel Max pulling away and open my eyes to look at him. He smiles again, a smile full of intense feeling, but there’s something behind it as well… I look at him. “Max…?”

He bites his lip as he looks into my eyes “Liz, there’s more…”

More… I take a breath. After everything he’s told me, how can there be more…? What has he done, what has happened…? “Tell me…?”

He nods silently before continuing. “When I was on my way over there – to your room to find the box – I was intercepted…”

Intercepted…? I shake my head. “I-I don’t understand…” My forhead wrinkles in puzzlement and I look at him, waiting as he continues.

“I-I mean. It was Michael…He stopped me and came along… If I’d known, I would never have…”

Max continues talking, but I barely hear the words. Michael was there… I feel my chest tightening and I take one breath after another just trying to keep calm. This is really not good… Eventually, maybe yes I intended to tell the others…but right at this moment in time no… Maria and Alex don’t know, and they’ve been friends with me for years… I’ve kept this from them because I had to… I’ve kept it from Max for so long too… Today was the right time to tell Max, I couldn’t wait any longer, but the others…this isn’t the right time…not now…

“…tried to open it. A heck of a box really. Our powers couldn’t do anything to it…How am I going to explain that to him?”

I tune back into what Max is saying and feel my heart sink further. I give a weak smile at his comment about the box and nod. “Yeah…there’s some pretty strong protection spells on it...plus a locking one too…” I comment although my mind isn’t really focused on this properly. “Serena and I are the only two who can just open it…anyone else has to say a spell…” I shrug and swallow. "No spell, no entry…not even with alien powers…” I look up at him with a wry smile.

This doesn’t answer his question though…how the heck do we explain to Michael something like that…He saw Max try and open it…he probably had a try himself… What possible reason can I give for having something that he can’t open with his alien powers…? The obvious would be that it was something alien, but then how would I explain the fact I’ve got it, and how would I explain the fact that I’m not about to hand it over to them… I shake my head, no that really won’t work.

Trying to rack my brains, I come up with a couple more ideas, but none of them is actually going to work, and each is discarded pretty quickly. There has to be something…but what…? I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, pulling back from Max and standing up, pacing the floor of the small room for a moment. I shake my head in response to Max’s earlier question. “I don’t know…I just don’t know…”

*Max*

I nod as Liz further explains about the box, confirming what she'd said earlier, or maybe I'd just inferred, that only she and Serena can open it because it's magic. Or that some others might but they'd still need magic to open it. It's pretty amazing. I'm still not sure what boundaries there might be on what magic can do. Just knowing that it's really real is still mind-boggling.

The other thing that's mind-boggling is that Liz hasn't blown up at me. Not that that would help anything but I know she has to be worried about this. I can only imagine how panicked I'd be if something happened to make someone new have questions about me or Isabel or Michael. She did look shocked and scared although she's trying to focus on the problem. A problem I caused so somehow I have to come up with a solution for her.

“I don’t know…I just don’t know…” Liz says, looking lost and a bit dazed.

I bite my lip, considering it all. Michael is definately thinking enemy alien, already. I haven't been able to come up with anything that would explain all of it, but maybe if I do half, Liz can come up with the other. "Well, this might be a really stupid idea. I don't know. It's the only thing I've come up with so far... What if I made another box that looked like yours? I could make it out of solid wood - which would explain why it couldn't open, right? Michael could even blow it up, even and see that there's nothing there...," I shrug, frowning. "I just don't know how to explain the strap that we couldn't open, or why you have it. Unless I was using my powers to prevent him from opening the strap... like a contest. But I don't know how to explain why you would have this trick box..."

"You could put the spell on the fake strap, too, and claim you'd found it. We could bring them the fake box and let Isabel try, too. But they'd be sure it was alien, some kind of clue and I don't want to give them false ideas about that..." I shake my head, really at a loss. Now I know what Liz must have been feeling when she'd lost her journal, unintentionally jeapoardizing our secret. It feels terrible and I don't know how to fix it. "I'm so sorry, Liz."

~*AINSLING*~

As Max and Liz walk out the door I turn to Serena, aware that she is still upset.
‘So kid, it’s just you and me. How about those milkshakes? We would go out to the taco stand on the way to Hondo, just you and me, have a little girl talk?’
She starts to shake her head, but I stop her ‘ Listen, Serena, I know you are still annoyed with me, and I accept that, but I’d much rather talk about it then let it fester. Besides, if we go out on the highway you can yell at me to your hearts content’ I wheedle shamelessly, really not wanting to be shut out.

~*Serena*~


I look over at Ainsling and sigh softly.


"As much as I love free food, don't you think people will find it a little weird for me to be going around with a teacher?", I question and shrug. "I most definantly need to find a guy. Maybe I need to get out of Roswell to find my soulmate, since it seems Liz has found hers...."

~*AINSLING*~

'Since when has what other people thought eveer stopped us before?' I tease. But discerning the real unhappiness on her face I sigh and move closer so I can sit next to her.
'You'll find someone, maybe here, and maybe not. It just takes time, that's all. Who knows, maybe we'll get a milkshake and at the bottom will be sitting Mr. Right? Just a little while, we'll have fun I promise. And if you run into anyone you know I'll be gone faster then you can think it.'

Without waiting for a reply I move to my desk and gather all my things together, ready to leave and try to cheer up my charge.