Sara: I have started my FB so many times....I have nothing. I have absolutely no idea what happens now.
Oh, trust me, lots of things are going to happen. LOTS.
I do think Maria needs to be honest with Max though. I will say that. It will be a hell of a lot worse coming from someone else should Max find out. Oy.
Definitely. Max is not going to react well to this, no matter who he hears it from. But it'd be best if he hears it directly from her.
Thanks for reading!
Part 61
Michael spent the day at work, counting down the hours until he could leave and then
really go get something done. Not something he wanted to do, but something he felt like he had to do. Because despite how much he would have loved for Maria to just tell Max herself and get this whole thing out in the open . . . she didn’t want that. She wanted to keep her family intact more than she wanted to be with him. It wasn’t exactly a happy thought.
He drove over to Tess and Kyle’s place, dreading the conversation that awaited him. He knew he had no right to ask Sarah to have his back on this. He knew it would anger her even further. But what choice did he have? If either Sarah or Tess told Max what they knew, then Maria might never forgive him.
Kyle came outside as he was getting out of the car, immediately cautioning, “I don’t know if you wanna go in there right now. They’re venting. There’s ice cream involved.”
“I need to see Sarah.”
Kyle exhaled heavily. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
From the moment he stepped inside, he heard Sarah and Tess gabbing. Laughing, even, the way girls did when they were trying to turn their backs on mankind altogether. The laughter stopped abruptly, though, when he stepped into the living room. Sarah fell completely silent, and Tess erupted. “What the hell, Kyle?” she blared. “I thought I told you not to let him come over here! He’s not welcome anymore.”
“Tess . . .” Michael said softly. As protective as she was over her best friend, at the end of the day, this wasn’t about her.
“No, don’t talk to me!” she yelled. “
You are an intolerable jackass who doesn’t deserve the time of day. You’re not our friend anymore. We don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Good thing I’m not here for you then.”
She marched right up into his face and kept on fighting him. “Well, I’m not gonna let you traumatize my best friend anymore! Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”
Thankfully, Sarah finally got up from the couch and said, “Tess, it’s okay. I can handle this. You should just relax.”
“Don’t worry about me,” Tess told her.
“I do, though. You’re pregnant. You don’t need to get all worked up.”
“I’m fine,” Tess insisted.
“I’ll be fine, too.” Sarah gave her an appreciative hug, then cast an uncertain glance at Michael. She picked up an afghan off the back of the recliner, wrapped it around her shoulders, and sulked down the hallway towards the back door. Michael followed her, feeling the heat of Tess’s death glare boring into the back of his head as he went.
Once they were outside and it was just the two of them, it felt like they could actually have a conversation. Maybe not a pleasant one, but they could at least talk without being interrupted. And if Kyle managed to keep Tess away from the window, the could even talk without being spied on.
“I promise I won’t keep doin’ this,” Michael began, knowing it couldn’t be easy on her to see him. It was hard even for him to see her, to see that look of pain and hurt in her eyes. “I’ll give you space.”
“Good,” she said, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders as the wind whipped past. “Because seeing you every day . . . it just makes it really hard to feel even the slightest bit better.”
“Sorry.” He honestly wouldn’t have even been there right now if he hadn’t . . . if he hadn’t promised Maria. It always came back to Maria for him.
“This better not be another forgiveness attempt,” Sarah warned.
“It’s not.” If she ever found it in that beautiful heart of hers to forgive him, he’d be forever grateful for it. But if she didn’t, he’d understand. Cringing, he said, “Don’t hate me, alright?”
“Too late.” Her expression didn’t change as she stared at him. “I already do.”
“Then don’t hate me even more.” His stomach twisted into knots as he got to the point. “I need to ask you a favor.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. Then her whole body shook as she laughed at the ridiculousness of that. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh. Well, this oughta be good. What is it?”
“I need you . . .” He paused, groaning as he forced himself to say things he really didn’t want to. “I need you to not tell Max. About any of this.”
“
You need that?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow. Smart girl that she was, she saw through him right away. “Don’t lie to me, Michael. Lord knows you’ve done that enough. This isn’t a favor for you; it’s for Maria. You’re only here because of her.”
Well, there was no point in denying it then, not if she already knew, so he didn’t even try. “She doesn’t want him to know,” he mumbled quietly.
“Oh, of course not. Affairs are so much more fun.”
“We’re not . . . we’re not having an affair,” he informed her. “She’s stayin’ with him.”
“And lying to him.” She shook her head sadly. “Poor guy.”
“Don’t--” He still couldn’t tolerate any sympathy for Max, no matter how nice these girls thought he was these days. “He’s a bad guy. Don’t feel sorry for him. He doesn’t deserve it.”
“Doesn’t deserve a girlfriend who cheats on him, either,” Sarah quickly pointed out. “And for the record, Michael . . .” She narrowed her eyes at him and suggested, “You might wanna look in the mirror the next time you say Max is a bad guy.”
I’m not like him, Michael told himself. Sure, he’d done some pretty unspeakable things lately, but still . . . it didn’t compare to what Max had done to Dylan. It didn’t compare to almost killing the kid.
The last thing he wanted to do was fight with Sarah about the merits or demerits of Max fucking Evans, so Michael decided to just let it go. “Are you gonna tell him or not?” he asked, cutting back to the chase.
She shrugged. “I hadn’t even thought about it. I assumed Maria would.”
Yeah, he thought sadly.
Me, too. Saturday night, when he’d woken up in that destroyed bed and found Maria frantically searching for her clothes, he’d figured that she would be upset about it all, but that she’d tell him the truth. Because Maria didn’t like to lead people on. If something needed to end, she would just end it. Just like she’d ended things with him once.
But apparently this was different.
“Don’t you
want me to say something?” Sarah asked pointedly. “Deep down inside? Don’t you wanna have her all to yourself?”
Of course he did, and of course she already knew that. “I’m thinkin’ about Dylan here,” he said, knowing that Maria had outright manipulated him today. By bringing up that little boy, she made him second-guess himself, his own decisions. But he’d still go along with it. For now, at least. And maybe eventually she wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret any longer, and she’d have to tell him herself.
“Max is gonna find out we broke up,” Sarah pointed out. “He’s gonna wonder why. He’s gonna be suspicious, even if I don’t say anything.”
“It’s none of his business,” Michael said. “We broke up. That’s it. That’s all he needs to know. That’s all anyone needs to know.”
“Unbelievable,” she grumbled, shaking her head in dismay. “You cheat on me, break up with me, and now you wanna pull me into this whole cover-up?”
“I just wanna spare Dylan the heartache.”
“No, you don’t. You want him to be your son,” she said almost accusatorily. “It’s all so clear to me now. I don’t know how I never figured it out before. I’m
so stupid.”
“You’re not--”
“This is obviously what Maria wants,” she cut back in. “And you just wanna stay on her good side.”
She definitely wasn’t wrong, not in anything she was saying. But her knowing that and him owning up to it right in front of her were two completely different things. He just wanted this whole conversation to be done. “Are you gonna say anything or not?” he asked again. If she intended to tell Max, he had to give Maria some warning so that she could do it herself.
For what felt like a long time, Sarah stood out in that back yard with him, contemplating it. He could see the conflict in her eyes. She was a good person, so on an honest, human level, of course she wanted to tell him. But she was logical, too, so she had to understand the reasons not to. At last, she relented, “Fine, I won’t say anything. Not because of Maria, not because of you. I’ll keep my mouth shut because there’s a child involved. A sweet, innocent child who doesn’t deserve to have his family torn apart over this. A child who already has a father and doesn’t need you.”
He winced, absorbing that shot.
“But that’s the only reason,” she growled, making it clear that this had nothing to do with any residual loyalty towards him.
“Thank you,” he said.
“What about Tess, though? She might say something.”
“Not if her best friend tells her not to.” As pissed as Tess was, if Sarah talked to her and calmed her down, she’d stay quiet, too. And as a mother-to-be, surely it wouldn’t be very hard for her to agree to spare Dylan all this drama.
“Fine,” Sarah grunted. “But I’m
not lying to my family, Michael. I’m telling them everything.”
Everything? He dreaded the thought of Sarah’s parents and her brother, the brother who practically idolized him, finding out what he was
really like. “They’re gonna hate me,” he said, wishing she’d reconsider.
“Good.”
He sighed, nodding reluctantly. There was nothing he could do. If Sarah wanted to tell her family, if she wanted to tell
anyone, then she had that right. Hopefully her parents wouldn’t say anything to his mom. Hopefully they’d just keep it quiet, and then his own family never had to know.
He started to head back inside, but he thought better of it when he remembered that Hurricane Tess was still in there. So he decided to just walk around the side of the house and bypass her altogether. When he was just about in the front yard again, Sarah came scampering up behind him and called his name. “Michael?”
Hands in his pockets, he turned back around.
Her hair flew about her face wildly as the wind picked up. “If I ever find out you and Maria hook up again . . .” She glared at him, unblinking, unflinching. “Then I’ll tell Max everything.”
He gazed at her intently, sensing the seriousness of that threat.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shango was probably the only creature in the world that would greet Michael as happily and eagerly as he did when he got home that night. He came up to him and tried to jump on him, yipping and yapping and trying to lick his hands.
“Hey, buddy,” Michael said, scratching him behind the ears. This was why dogs were awesome. Unconditional love and all that. It didn’t matter to them whether you made mistakes or not. The best part of their day was
always the part when you came home.
Michael stopped to turn on the TV, then trudged over to the bed and flopped down on his back. Today had been long. Today had been stressful. Today had been hard.
What if all the days were like this from now on? And what if all the nights were like this? Lonely, isolated. Just him and his dog. His loveable dog.
Shango must have been gaining too much weight, because he struggled to climb up onto the bed with Michael, and Michael actually ended up having to lift him up. Once he was up there, though, Shango settled in right beside him and started nuzzling him, and for some reason, that made him feel a little better.
He shut his eyes, feeling like he could just fall asleep. TV still on, clothes and shoes still on. He didn’t even have his head on the pillow, but he didn’t care, because sleep sounded like the perfect escape right now from the horrible reality that was his life.
Unfortunately, just as he was feeling that he could nod right off, his cell phone rang. He reached into his pocket and took it out, glancing at the caller.
Mom.
His immediate thought was,
Oh, shit. Sarah had probably called her parents and told them everything. And they’d called Krista. And now she was calling him, and she was going to be
so upset with him.
Part of him contemplated not answering, but then he knew she’d only call back. So he took the call. “Hello?”
“Michael,” she said, a sense of urgency to her tone. “Come quick.”
He sat up, immediately concerned. “What is it?” he asked.
Her next words chilled him to the bone. “It’s your sister.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Usually it took Michael about an hour and fifteen minutes to get from Carlsbad to Roswell—a flat hour if he sped. But when the whole point of going to Roswell was to get to the hospital and be there for the birth of his nephew, the drive only took fifty minutes. He was lucky he didn’t get pulled over.
It faintly registered with him as he raced through the hallways, trying to find his sister’s room, that he hadn’t been at that hospital in years. Not since Dylan had fallen off the bridge.
“Mom!” he called as he finally turned down the correct hallway.
“Oh, Michael.” She hugged him when he came up to her, breathing a sigh of relief. “Thank God you’re here.”
“Is she doin’ okay?” he asked. When his mom had called him, she’d sounded pretty damn freaked out that this was all happening so soon, and it made him worry that maybe there was something abnormal happening.
“Yeah, she’s alright,” his mother replied. “The contractions are starting up already, though.”
“Yeah?” He’d didn’t envy his little sister for having to deal with those. He didn’t envy her at all right now. These next few hours would be the most demanding, exhausting of her young life. “You know, you really scared me,” he told his mom. “I thought something was wrong.”
“Well, this isn’t supposed to be happening yet,” she pointed out. “She’s supposed to have four more weeks. I’m a little nervous.”
“Yeah, but babies are born premature all the time, and they’re fine,” he assured her.
“I know. It just worries me,” she fretted.
“Wasn’t I born a month early?”
“Yes.”
“And see? I turned out alright.”
She touched his cheek lovingly. “You turned out perfect.”
Perfect? Not by a long shot, he thought, turning away from her touch. “Can I go see her?” he asked.
“Yeah.” His mother pointed out the room and patted him on the shoulder. “It was good of you to come. She’ll be happy to have you here.”
I hope so. If Tina was happy to see him, that would make her one of the
only people in the world who wanted anything to do with him right now.
He slipped into her hospital room, flashing her a grin. “Hey, you.”
“Hey.” She was sitting up in the adjustable bed, both hands on her enlarged stomach. Her hair was all fixed up, and she had makeup on. If it hadn’t been for the hospital gown, she would have looked like a girl going to homecoming. “Well, this was unexpected, huh?” she said. “I bet you didn’t picture yourself here tonight.”
“No, but that’s alright.” He stepped up to the side of her bed, wondering why there wasn’t another male figure in here with her right now. “If this baby wants out, let him out.”
She groaned as if she were dreading it. “I wish it was that easy. But I think this is gonna suck.”
“Yeah, well, they call it
labor for a reason.”
“I guess.” She grunted, shaking her head. “God, you
guys have it so easy. Why do girls have to do this part?”
“Maybe ‘cause you’re tougher than us?” he guessed.
“Yeah, that must be it.” She laughed a little, but soon enough, her amused expression turned into an agonized one, and she started to squirm in pain.
“Contraction?” he asked.
“Yeah, it hurts.”
“Here.” He grabbed her hand, and she squeezed it tightly, so tightly that it actually caused
him some pain, too. Not that he was about to complain. For about thirty seconds, she rode it out, and then, as if someone had just released their death grip on her, her whole body relaxed, and it was over.
“So where’s Nicholas?” he couldn’t help but ask. Hell, if there was anyone’s hand she should’ve been squeezing, shouldn’t it have been the baby’s damn father?
“He went to a concert with his friends tonight,” she explained. “I called him, texted him.”
And he still wasn’t there? That seemed strange. “You hear back yet?”
“No,” she admitted. “But he’ll be here. He promised he’d be here.”
Michael didn’t like the sound of this. He remembered Maria telling him about Dylan’s birth, how Max had promised he’d be there, but instead, he’d never shown. He didn’t want that for Tina, but he feared it would happen. “You want me to call him?” he offered.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, smiling gratefully. “Thanks.”
He let go of her hand and grabbed her phone off the bedside table. “Hang in there,” he said encouragingly as he left the room. His mom was down the hall at one of the vending machines now, so he felt free to speak candidly when he got a hold of the little twerp.
Unfortunately, he only got voicemail.
‘Hey, it’s Nicholas. Leave me a message.’
Michael swore inwardly when it beeped. “Hey, Nick, guess what?” he said faux-cheerfully. “Your girlfriend’s havin’ your baby. Leave that fucking concert and get your ass to the hospital
now.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Even though Maria had her eyes closed, Max must have known she wasn’t really asleep. He crawled in behind her on the bed and left the light on, opting to wrap his arms around her and move in close rather than lie down and go to sleep.
“Sneaky, sneaky,” she said as his arms encircled her midsection.
“Mmm,” he moaned, moving her damp hair aside so he could kiss the back of her neck. “You smell good.”
“Well, I just showered,” she pointed out.
“You always smell good,” he murmured, his breath warm against her skin. He started to touch and kiss her shoulder, and she had to make sure her body didn’t tense up.
“Oh, I think this is gonna be a long week. I’m already exhausted,” she said, hoping he would get the hint that she wasn’t in the mood for sex tonight. But he didn’t. He just kept pressing gentle, adoring kisses to her skin, giving her a few hints about his
own desires.
Thankfully, her phone vibrated on the nightstand as she received a text message, a much-needed distraction. “I should check that,” she said.
“I got it.” He reached over her, picked up her phone and slid his thumb across the screen to unlock it. “It’s from Michael,” he said.
“What?” She flipped over onto her back, immediately on edge.
“He said Tina’s havin’ her baby,” Max revealed as he read the text. “That’s his sister, right?”
“Yeah.” She relaxed a bit, thanking her lucky stars that there
wasn’t anything incriminating in that text. She was going to have to be careful about that, though, maybe put a passcode lock on her phone.
“Want me to text him back for you?” Max offered.
“Sure. Just say . . .” She pictured Tina, young little Tina, in the hospital, about to become a mom, and it was surreal. Had she had that phone in her own hands, she would have sent him back a more substantial message. But with Max as the one sending it, she figured it best to keep it simple. “Just say ‘I hope it all goes well,’” she told him.
He grinned and quickly typed out the message with one thumb. “Should I add ‘From Max’?”
“No.”
“He’d hate that.” He sent the message for her and then tossed her phone down to the foot of the bed. “There you go.” He scooted in close to her again, rubbing his legs against hers beneath the covers, smoothing his hands up and down her sides.
“Now I’m thinking about her,” she said, still making no move to let her hands explore any part of him. If she just seemed distracted enough, or tired enough, or just plain disinterested enough, he wouldn’t put any pressure on her. He’d slip into the bathroom and take care of it on his own, and she’d be spared a night of inevitably comparing sex with Michael to sex with him.
“She’s really young, huh?” Max remarked.
“Yeah.” Eighth grade was . . . well, it made tenth grade sound old in comparison. Maria knew the poor girl’s fear level must have been through the roof. In the months leading up to it, you let yourself become confident, maybe even feel like you were prepared. But once that baby was on its way, then and only then did you realize how screwed you really were. “She must be so scared.”
“Like you were?” Max asked quietly.
“Yeah.” Maybe if he’d been there, she wouldn’t have been so scared. Maybe if she’d had his hand to hold, or if he’d been the one to cut the umbilical cord . . . maybe that would have helped.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized as if he were reading her mind.
“It’s okay,” she assured him, able to look back with forgiveness now. They’d both done horrible things to each other over the years. He’d made mistakes, but she’d made some, too. The only difference was that his were public knowledge, whereas hers would hopefully always remain a secret.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Michael fiddled with the adjustable bed, wishing there was room for him on there. If you got it going fast enough, it was almost like a ride. It looked awesome. But Tina wasn’t in the best condition to appreciate the fun of it right now.
“How you holding up, sweetie?” their mother asked.
“It hurts,” Tina groaned leaning forward in the bed.
“I know, but just remember, it’ll all be worth it in the end.”
Tina rubbed at the tears in her eyes, smearing her makeup. “How did you do this
twice?” she asked in astonishment as the bed rose up and down. “Wasn’t once bad enough?”
“Oh, when you finally get to hold your beautiful little baby,” their mother said, smiling at the both of them, “you just forget all the pain.”
“All of it?” Michael asked, pressing a button on the side of the bed to make it go lower. Tina finally just reached out and whacked his hand away.
“Well, most of it,” his mother amended.
Tina adjusted the bed back to her liking and leaned back. “Can I talk to Michael for a minute?” she asked.
“Sure.” Krista bent down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be right outside.”
Michael reached out for the bed controls once again as she left, but Tina quickly swatted his hand away. “What do you need?” he asked when it was just the two of them.
“Drugs,” she grumbled.
“They already gave you drugs. What else?”
She sighed, looking down at her lap languidly. “Nicholas,” she whispered.
Michael shifted uncomfortably. He had a damn good feeling that little bastard wasn’t going to show, but he didn’t want to tell her that.
“Where is he, Michael?” she cried. “He should’ve been here by now.”
“I can keep calling,” he offered. At this point, he’d already left about six voicemails, each one slightly more infuriated than the last.
“What if he doesn’t come?” she worried.
“Then I’m here. Mom’s here,” he pointed out. “Don’t worry, you’re not alone.”
“But I want Nicholas.”
He sighed, wishing his presence was enough. But he was only this kid’s uncle, and even though that was meaningful in its own right . . . having the father there was more important. “Maybe he’s on his way right now,” he said, trying to lift her spirits up.
“Hopefully,” she said as tears slid out the corners of her eyes. She just sat there with him for a moment, silent, almost . . . calm, if that was possible. Then she looked at him curiously and squeaked out, “Hey, Michael?”
“Hmm?”
Frowning, she asked, “Where’s Sarah?”
His heart sped up, and his stomach clenched.
Sarah? What was he supposed to tell her? This wasn’t exactly the time or place for
that conversation. But clearly she sensed that something was wrong.
Thankfully for him—and unfortunately for her—a contraction hit, giving him a reason to not have to answer that question. She yelled and screamed as it twisted her up inside, and her hand clasped onto his with a strength he’d never known her to have. This one lasted a little longer this time, and the next one was sure to come a little sooner. This baby was on its way. It wouldn’t be one of those marathon deliveries. No, he’d probably be there in a few hours. And hopefully Nicholas would be there, too.
Michael left the room after the contraction had passed, and he tapped his mom on the shoulder in the hallway. “Swap out?” he suggested.
She smiled at him and gave his arm a gentle squeeze as she went back in. Tina was crying now, so she shut the door.
Michael sighed, raking one hand through his hair, wishing the timing of all of this was different. He knew Tina couldn’t control when this baby came out, but part of him wished it was happening a month from now, the way it was supposed to. That way he would have had time to talk to both her and his mom about his split from Sarah. They wouldn’t have been wondering why she wasn’t there. He wouldn’t have had to avoid answering. They just would have known.
Now
what they would know was still up in the air. As much as he didn’t want to lie to either of them about what all had gone down, he didn’t exactly want to own up to the truth, either.
Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed a certain scrawny, pathetic teenage boy roaming down the hall, hood over his head, hands in his pockets. Once he caught sight of him, though, he immediately wanted to throttle him. “Hey!” he roared, stomping towards him. He tore the hood off his head and yelled, “What the hell, man? What’re you doin’ out here?”
“I just got here,” Nicholas mumbled.
“You
just got here?” He glanced down the hall at the clock. “How late did that concert go, huh?”
Nicholas shifted his weight from side to side, all nervous-looking. “I just needed a little time,” he said.
“Time to what?”
“To think.”
“Yeah, well, you should’ve done that before you had sex in the first place.” Michael was well aware that he was being a hypocrite, but in that moment, he didn’t really care.
“I’m pretty freaked out,” Nicholas admitted, hanging his head as if he were ashamed.
“Don’t you think Tina is, too?” Michael pointed out. “You don’t get to be freaked out right now. She’s the one havin’ the baby, which means
she gets to be scared.
You have to be strong. So go in there and be strong for her. Be a man.”
Nicholas nodded hurriedly and stepped past Michael, stopping in front of the closed door. He didn’t go in there. He just stood there like an idiot.
“What’s the hold-up?” Michael asked impatiently.
“It’s just . . .” Nicholas slowly turned around, his eyes wide with fear. “What if I’m no good at this?” he wondered.
“At what?”
He shrugged. “Bein’ a dad.”
Michael surveyed the kid—the
kid. Even though he was a freshman in high school, he still looked young enough to be in middle school. He was a kid who was having a kid, and that had to be head-spinning.
“How am I supposed to know if I’m ready?” he scraped out, his voice thick with emotion.
Gradually, Michael felt a bit of his anger fade, and he actually felt sort of sympathetic. “I think you just . . . know,” he replied.
“Did you know?” Nicholas inquired.
He thought of Dylan, thought of that absolute certainty he’d always felt with him. The same certainty he felt when he’d coached him out on the football field, ate lunch with him during Circle of Friends. “Yeah,” he answered, smiling fondly. “Yeah, I knew.”
Nicholas didn’t look particularly relieved to hear that, probably because he still
didn’t know if he was ready, didn’t have that feeling. So Michael felt the need to assure him that he’d still be alright. “Look, Nick . . . I know it
sounds overwhelming,” he empathized. “And sometimes it is. But when you have a son . . . that love you feel for him . . .” He remembered what it had felt like to hear Dylan call him Daddy for the first time, or to tuck him in at night when he wore his Guerin football jersey to bed. “It’s the best feeling in the world.” A bond like that, no matter how far or how long it was stretched apart . . . it never went away.
Nicholas gulped and nodded.
“Now go be a father,” Michael urged him. There was a girl in that room who needed him, a girl who, even though she was young, really did love him. He needed to be there for her.
Once Nicholas went into the room, he didn’t come out. More people started to go in, though, mostly nurses who were monitoring Tina’s dilation status. His mom came out into the waiting room about an hour later, sobbing hysterically, worrying that something was going to go wrong, and he had to console her and get her calm again so that she could go back in there and be by Tina’s side during the delivery. Mom on one side, boyfriend on the other. Tina would have plenty of hands to hold onto.
At 2:09 p.m., they moved Tina down the hall to one of the actual delivery rooms. Michael got to squeeze her hand one last time and tell her he loved her before she, Nicholas, Krista, and the doctors and nurses disappeared inside. And then it was all about waiting. And waiting some more. For over an hour, he waited, passing the time with stupid cartoons on TV and junk food from the vending machine. He could hear screaming coming from down the hall, and he wasn’t sure whether it was Tina or somebody else. But it sounded unpleasant.
At 3:31, a nurse in pink scrubs came out into the waiting room and tapped him on the shoulder as he was about to fall asleep. “Excuse me,” she said. “You’re Tina’s brother, right?”
“Yeah.” He sat up straighter, immediately on edge. Was it over? Was everything alright?
The nurse smiled at him. “Would you like to come meet your nephew?”
My nephew, he thought, breathing a sigh of relief.
I have a nephew. It was unreal.
When he went into the room, he was hit with this immediate sense of astonishment when he saw the baby in his little sister’s arms. He was bundled up in blue blankets and had a knit cap on his head. Tina had him cradled up against her chest, and Nicholas was sitting next to the bed, stroking his newborn son’s cheeks with his fingertips. Krista was taking a lot of pictures on her phone and crying happy tears.
“Look, Joe,” Tina cooed to her son, “look who it is. It’s Uncle Michael.”
Michael smiled and stood at the foot of the bed. “Joe?” he echoed.
“Yeah.” She shrugged. “Simple, I know, but we both like it.”
Joe, Michael thought.
I like it. He liked him.
“He’s so beautiful,” his mother marveled.
“I know.” Tina gazed at him adoringly, then looked up at her mom. “You were right,” she said. “It’s all worth it.”
This is crazy, Michael thought, his mind whirling. Tina was a mom now. She was only fourteen years old, but she was a mom. Which meant
their mother was now a grandma, and she still had a couple months until she turned forty.
Crazy.
“Congrats, Teenie,” he said, suddenly feeling like his nickname for her was too childish. She looked older now, instantly.
“Thanks,” she said, smiling up at him. “Do you wanna hold him?”
He inhaled sharply. For some reason, the thought of holding a baby always made him nervous. “Sure,” he said, not about to turn down his first chance to hold his own nephew, though. He moved up closer to the head of the bed, bent down, and held out his arms. Tina carefully handed little Joe over, and Michael held him close to his chest, rocking him back and forth a little.
“Wow,” he whispered when the little guy opened his eyes and looked right up at him. He had brown eyes just like Tina and him. He looked like them.
“Let me get a picture,” his mom said, stepping back, holding up her camera.
Michael glanced at her for a moment, then looked right back down at the baby. His mom took a few pictures as Tina said, “He likes you, Michael.”
I hope so, he thought. For a guy who had a history of fatherly feelings, he’d never actually been around babies all that much. This would be a first.
As much as he already felt like he loved that little boy . . . he felt something else, too. Envy. Pangs of it. Was that weird to
envy two teenaged parents? Because even though he was an uncle now, he wanted this moment for himself someday. He didn’t
just want to be an uncle for the rest of his life; he wanted to be a father.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kyle yawned as he trudged out into the hall. He saw flashing lights from the television screen in the living room, and when he walked out there, he saw that Sarah was awake, sitting up on the couch, remote control in her hand.
“Already up, huh?” he remarked as he padded into the kitchen.
“I never went to sleep,” she said, turning down the volume.
He opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water for himself. “You want something to drink?” he asked.
“No, I’m good. Thanks,” she replied.
He shut the fridge, and instead of taking the water back to the bedroom like he’d intended, he shuffled into the living room and sat down next to her instead.
“So did you hear that Tina had her baby?” she asked.
“Yeah. Michael’s been texting me all night.” He still could hardly wrap his mind around it. He’d known that girl his whole life. It was hard to fathom her having a kid of her own now.
“Krista sent me a picture,” Sarah told him, “of Michael holding the baby.” She smiled sadly, lowering her head. “I guess she doesn’t know that . . . you know.”
“Yeah.” He unscrewed the lid of his water bottle and took a drink. He had no idea what Michael would end up telling his mom about the break-up. He hadn’t gotten to talk to him much since the whole thing had gone down.
“I’m sorry, Kyle,” Sarah apologized suddenly. “I know this must be really hard on you.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you and Tess have babies of your own on the way. You should be focusing on that, not on taking care of me.”
“No, it’s no problem having you here,” he assured her quickly.
“Maybe not for Tess. But it’s different for you,” she noted. “Michael’s still your best friend, even if he’s not my boyfriend.”
“True.” He was glad she understood that, that she was
level-headed enough to understand that and not resent him for it. “But look, Sarah, even though he’s my friend, it’s not like I approve of what he did to you.”
“I know,” she said. “But it must be hard for you to hear Tess saying she doesn’t want him to be a godparent anymore. And stuff like that.”
He sighed heavily. “Yeah,” he admitted. “You know, if anything ever happened to me or Tess, you and Michael are the people I’d trust my kids with. Isn’t that what a godparent’s supposed to be?”
“It is,” she agreed. “So if that’s what you want, don’t worry about me. It won’t offend me if you still ask both of us.”
“Good to know.”
“So talk to Tess,” she urged, “change her mind. You’ve got a few more months. I’ll be out of your hair well before then.”
“You’re not
in my hair,” he reminded her. His eyes drifted to the TV for a few seconds to see what she was watching—some cooking show that probably wasn’t
really holding her interest. “So what’s your plan?” he inquired.
She grunted. “Who knows? Just find a small apartment off campus, I guess. Finish out the semester. Go home and spend the summer with my family.”
“And then what? Come back?”
She thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought that far ahead. But I
could go to school in Las Cruces, close to home. Or I could transfer up to Albuquerque for my senior year. I mean, I’m gonna have to do four years of pharmacy school up there anyway.”
For someone who hadn’t thought that far ahead, it sure seemed to him that she had a lot of ideas. But nothing sounded set in stone. “So in other words, the future’s kind of a great unknown to you right now,” he summarized, wondering how Michael would feel if she left Carlsbad at the end of the semester and didn’t come back.
“Yeah. Ironic, huh?” She laughed a little. “Miss Prepared, Miss Organized, Miss Planned-Out . . . no idea what she’s doing.”
“Hmm.” He could relate to that. Sometimes the best laid plans just exploded. Maybe because of an unfaithful lover. Maybe because of a paralytic injury.
“Don’t tell Tess, though,” she implored. “I don’t want her to know I might not always be here.”
He nodded, silently making that promise. Tess had other things to focus on right now. When and if the day came that Sarah needed to leave, it would be hard on her. But he’d be there to help her through it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Am I ever gonna get to hold my son?”
Michael walked around the hospital room, holding a sleeping Joe in his arms. “Maybe,” he answered, grinning. He was getting pretty attached to the kid. They all were. Even though Joe had been a month early, he weighed a good amount and seemed perfectly healthy, so he didn’t have to be hooked up to machines or kept in an incubator.
In the corner of the room, they’d pulled out a cot, presumably for the father of the child to sleep on, but Nicholas had left a while ago and had yet to come back, so Michael took a seat there with Joe instead. “So where’s his dad?” he asked, a bit of bite to his words.
“He went home to shower and change,” Tina said. “But he’ll be back.”
“Huh.”
He’d better be, Michael thought. It was almost 5:30 in the morning now, and the kid had to be tired. But if he went home and fell asleep or something . . . there’d be hell to pay. “Did he ever tell you why it took him so long to get here in the first place?” he questioned, if only to know whether Nicholas had been honest with her.
“Yeah. They had car trouble on the way home from the concert,” Tina replied.
“Ah.” He wasn’t about to burst her bubble and let her know that was a lie, not today. But he’d file that information away and share it with her down the line if need be.
“But at least he got here in time,” Tina added. “That’s all that matters.”
Michael nodded skeptically, looking down at the sleeping baby in his arms. He had his little hands up by his mouth, his fingers curled. “So why Joe?” he asked.
Tina shrugged. “Why not? It’s a cute name.”
“His middle name should be Cool,” Michael suggested. “Then he’d be Joe Cool Guerin.”
Tina giggled. “I don’t think so. Besides, he’s already got a middle name.”
“Oh, yeah?” He’d been waiting to hear it.
She smiled at him. “It’s Michael.”
His eyebrows darted up in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Well . . . that was really flattering, and not at all something he had expected. “Joe Michael Guerin,” he said, testing out the full name.
“Crawford, though,” she corrected.
He gave her a look. “Really? You’re givin’ him Nick’s last name?”
“Yeah, of course,” she said softly.
He sighed, hating that. Maria had given Dylan Max’s last name at first, but then she’d had it changed once it became apparent that Max wouldn’t be in the picture. And hopefully now it never changed back.
“I should give you a break,” he said, getting to his feet. “You need sleep.” He brought Joe over to his little crib and set him down carefully, making sure he was swaddled up tightly. The nurses said they would bring him down to the nursery once Tina was asleep.
“Hey, Michael?” Tina said quietly.
“Yeah.” He spun around.
Cocking her head to the side, she once again asked the question he was dreading. “Why is Sarah not here?”
He froze up, literally and figuratively. His words just failed him completely, because he had no idea what to say. If he told her the truth, she’d be upset. If he didn’t, she’d be suspicious. “Don’t worry about it,” he finally mumbled, turning to leave the room.
“That’s not an answer,” she called after him.
He stopped in the doorway, contemplating just walking out. But what good would that do? Yeah, he’d buy himself some time, but she’d just ask him again the next chance she had. Tina knew him better than most people did, so naturally she knew that something was wrong.
“Look, Teenie, you just had a baby,” he said, turning back around. “Focus on that, alright?”
“Are you guys still together?” she inquired outright.
The question must have just been a formality, or one last shred of wishful thinking, because at this point, it had to be obvious. If he and Sarah had still been together, there was no way she
wouldn’t have been there. “No,” he told her quietly. “We broke up Sunday night.”
“What?” she gasped. “Why?”
“We just . . . thought it was for the best.” He cringed inwardly at the flimsy reasoning. There was no way she was going to buy that.
“But you were engaged,” she pointed out.
“And now we’re not.” He didn’t mean to sound flippant, but at the same time, he didn’t want her probing too deeply. If she asked more questions, then it would be harder and harder to lie. And she was one of the last people he wanted to lie to.
“Michael, what did you do?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously.
Shit. She knew, didn’t she? Still, he played dumb. “What do you mean?”
“Did you do something?” she asked sternly. “With Maria?”
He tried to have no reaction to that name . . . but his silence must have said it all.
“Oh god,” she groaned, shaking her head. “Did you guys, like, kiss or . . .” She trailed off, as though she didn’t
really want to ask the question. But she didn’t have to. When he looked away and kept his damn mouth shut, she understood. “Oh.”
Yeah. Oh, he thought. It wasn’t nice to know he was continuing to set such a horrible example for his younger sister. She’d given her son his name as a middle name, so clearly she looked up to him. And he just continued to let her down. “Don’t tell Mom, okay?” he pleaded. “I don’t want her to be disappointed in me.” He’d already dealt with plenty of parental disappointment for one lifetime.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even look at him. It was a weird thing, in that moment, because even though he knew she loved him . . . she seemed disappointed in him, too.
TBC . . .
-April