Informed consent (M/L ADULT) [COMPLETE]

[greywolf]

It was twelve days later – and just starting to turn dark – when the jeep drove up in front of the Whitman residence and Alex got in. Five days ago they'd done this – driving up to Royer Park to watch the stars come out – just to reinforce their cover story of being a real couple. They had scheduled an instant replay for two nights from now but Isabel had called and moved the time up. Alex didn't know why – nor did it matter. She was - Alex assured himself – a good friend, even if he did wish somehow she could be more than that while knowing it was never going to happen. But he certainly enjoyed her company, so there was no hesitation answering her call.

What he didn't really realize was that Isabel was frightened and depressed and she was using him – not that he would have minded being used in any event – to try to provide an anchor – something comfortable in a life that had suddenly become very frightening. They were starting to lose Liz and it was breaking Isabel's heart – both seeing her start to fade, and seeing the effect that had on her brother.

In the past twelve days, Isabel had managed to dreamwalk Liz only twice – and those briefly. Liz's dream-orb – the abyss – had never been normal, but it was now so abnormal that had she not seen it's abnormality evolving, she would have never known it was a dream-orb at all. She would have never even tried to enter it. Even knowing what it was, entering it hadn't been easy, and Liz only sustained it for a handful of minutes on both occasions.

Isabel had – by napping during the day – managed to dreamwalk Max twice as well. His dream-orb was normal, but the person in it was obviously tired – frightened – almost at his wits end. He had managed to dreamwalk Liz only twice himself – and for similarly brief periods.

Whatever injury to her reticular activating system had put Liz in the coma, it was obvious that the damaged cells were continuing to die and the few surviving neurons had nearly reached the point where she would be unable to be self-aware at all. It was obvious from what Max said that Liz's life expectancy once that happened would not be great.

The prospect of losing Liz was terrifying on two levels. Despite not knowing her that well before the accident, Liz was now her friend – and her sister-in-law. What this was already doing to Max was almost as painful, and what she had felt from him inside his dream-orb was shaking her to the core. If Liz lost the abyss Max intended to work on – try to discover the secret to the stasis units and freeze them both in time until Liz could be cured, but if he couldn't solve that riddle – and it was obvious that he was beginning to doubt he ever would – he still wanted to be with her. At one time she would have never believed her brother could ever contemplate suicide and she still couldn't quite believe it. But she could see him just losing the will to live. In a sense, Liz had been the only thing that had ever made Roswell home to Max. Without her – Isabel wasn't sure. She could picture him sort of giving up and just dwindling away – that she could easily believe. Which was why she was seeking comfort and reassurance in the person who seemed to make her most comfortable right now.

“Thanks for doing this, Alex,”

“You sounded upset. What's the matter?”

“I'll tell you when we get to the park, OK?”

Alex could tell she was nervous but it was worse than that – she was almost in tears.

“Sure Isabel. We can talk then,” he said, putting his left hand on her right one and squeezing it gently before releasing it.

Isabel felt the reassurance flow from the gentle squeeze and took a deep breath. Somehow he always did that to her – made things seem better. Unfortunately this situation was particularly bad.

Twilight was fading as she pulled in to the parking lot and shut off the engine – watching the last light fade in the west as the sun went down. The first stars were just appearing and she saw one down near the horizon – a reddish looking one. She took a deep breath.

• ”Star light, star bright,
  The first bright star I see tonight;
  I wish I may, I wish I might,
  Have the wish I wish tonight.”

'Please – please let Max find some way to keep Liz going until she can be cured..., she thought.

Alex looked at her – and the distant star – and smiled.

“That constellation is Scorpius. That reddish star is a red super-giant called Antares A. It is one of the brightest stars in the sky – also one of the largest. It's about 800 times the size of our own sun. It's got a binary partner – a hot blue star called Antares B – that is still four times larger than our sun but you can't usually see it because Antares A is too bright. You have to wait for the moon to occlude Antares A – then it really can be seen. So what was your wish?”

“I can't tell you, Alex. If I do it won't come true.”

“So can you tell me what you are worried about? I probably can't fix it, but I'm a good listener. Sometimes talking helps.”

“Worried about? Liz and Max – take your pick...” 'Not to mention you finally finding out the truth – and then wanting nothing to do with me...' she thought.

“I take it Liz isn't doing well... and Mr. Responsibility is beating himself up about it?”

“Well, you got the second part right. The first part – well I communicated with Max and Liz is in no immediate danger – it's just that she certainly isn't any better yet, and – well Max did the research too and knows that while some people are in comas a long time, most of them don't last very long. Serious traumatic head injuries like Liz have last for only two to four years – and she's been in almost a year and a half now.”

“Isabel, are you sure that Max caring for her is best ? Best for either of them?”

Alex saw Isabel look at him with sort of a resigned expression. “Yes, I think it's best for her. It's probably even best for Max, I can't imagine him NOT taking care of her. I promise you, Alex, if Max can't help her, there is no one who can. It may not work, but I think it's best for both of them...”

When she spoke like that – looking straight into his eyes – Alex felt like he was looking in to Isabel Evans' soul. Somehow he couldn't begin to doubt her. He nodded his head.

“Well then, we'll just have to hope that Max can pull this out somehow... or maybe that your wish that you don't want to tell me about comes true – although Antares wouldn't have been my choice to wish to, I doubt that there's anybody there to hear you.”

“You don't believe in extraterrestrials?”

“Oh, I didn't say that. It's just that a binary with a super giant red and a hot blue – any planets it would have would have to be in weird orbits – exposed to all sorts of climatic hell, radiation, who knows what else. Of course if any life ever did evolve somewhere like that they'd be damn tough hombres – probably bend steel in their bare hands – or tentacles.”

She knew he was just joking with her to lighten her mood. Surprisingly, it was working. She put her head on his shoulder and pointed to another group of stars.

“What constellation is that – the little one?”

“The constellation is Taurus, the bull. What you are pointing at is the Pleiades. The 'seven sisters'. In reality there are over eight hundred of them, but only about a dozen can be seen with the naked eye.”

“Why do they call it 'seven' then?”

“The original Pleiades were nymphs who kept having affairs with Greek gods and fathering half-human children.”

“You sound like you don't approve of humans playing around with gods...?”

That wasn't really true, Alex knew. There was a goddess right beside him that he'd love to have feel that way about him - not that THAT was ever going to happen....

“Just call me old fashioned, I guess. I think they should have gotten married and been faithful to each other. Those old Greek gods seemed to go chasing after anything that moved – like Zeus turning himself into a swan to seduce Leda. Yeah, maybe I'm too traditional, but I'd prefer a more committed relationship than they had back then.”

[greywolf]

They only stargazed for about an hour – and by the standards of most teenagers it was pretty tame. Nobody even got to first base. And it wasn't that neither was tempted – or wouldn't have been entirely willing to go there – or even farther – had the other one taken the initiative. It was a strange situation. In a very real sense neither one was experienced at all with the opposite sex – excepting years spent with the other in the dream-orb. Unfortunately, since Alex didn't believe that to be real – and Isabel was afraid that she'd disappoint him if she proved not capable of being the mother of his children as his dream of wanting her to be his wife had indicated – this romance was for all practical purposes the fumbling steps of two naïve youngsters. That is not to say that it wasn't meaningful, however. For Alex – it was an extremely pleasant way to spend an hour with someone who was becoming a good friend – even if he couldn't believe she could ever be like her dream-persona. But for Isabel, it was much more than that. Being with Alex, it seemed, had restored her soul or – at a minimum – brought some measure of peace and comfort to a very distressed and worried young lady.

It, was, in fact, highly serendipitous – both that her time with Alex soothed her troubles and that it had not turned in to an all night make-out session which – had they truly seen into each others souls – it well might have done. Had Isabel not had that hour stargazing with Alex, she probably would have remained plagued with doubts, depression, and worry - wouldn't have been able to sleep and dreamwalk Liz three hours later. Had Isabel and Alex truly known the feelings of the other, Isabel almost certainly wouldn't have been home in her own bed asleep three hours later trying to dreamwalk Liz – she'd have been with Alex and wide awake – likely regardless of whether she was in bed or not.

And had that happened, she'd have missed being there when Liz's failing reticular activating system struggled to bring her to self-awareness – struggled to reform the abyss – and had that been the case it is altogether likely that Isabel would have never been able to dreamwalk Liz for one last time before the comatose girls dying reticular activating system failed altogether.


As Isabel entered the dream plane she looked at once for Liz's orb. It wasn't there which didn't surprise her – Liz was self-aware infrequently anymore, and only for brief periods – but she hung out in the dream plane nonetheless. Tenacity was a virtue with which alien-human hybrids were well supplied. In about an hour she thought she sensed the abyss start to form. She drove her consciousness toward it. Liz's dream-orb had not been normal since the accident, but this was just barely recognizable as a dream-orb at all, and seemed to be pulsating unsteadily – like a fluorescent bulb flickering and nearly burnt out. It took virtually all of Isabel's dreamwalking ability just to enter it and inside she found chaos.

Liz wasn't sure for a moment if she existed or not – who she was or where she was – as the abyss seemed to struggle to form. Finally it coalesced around her and she recalled who she was and what her circumstances were. The abyss was close – almost like a cocoon around her she thought, 'Or a coffin...' as it seemed smaller than ever. But almost immediately she sensed a presence and the abyss seemed to widen to accept the visitor although it continued to pulse as if threating to dissolve at any moment. She could tell it was Isabel – she'd learned to recognize the difference between the 'feel' of Max and Isabel in her mind – reasonable enough, she thought, since they were just figments of her imagination in any event.

“Oh Liz...” Isabel said, her eyes tearing up as she saw the small; and tenuous state of the abyss. She felt Isabel grasp her right hand between hers and hold it. “Liz, you've got to fight – you've got to hang on. You just have to....”

Liz looked at the sad limits of her universe – with her free hand felt beyond them into the nothingness. Even so, it was hardly un expected. Liz was a good observational scientist and she hadn't missed the changes of the last several dozen sessions in the abyss. The deterioration had been progressive and she'd extrapolated it as best she could. This might be her last time in the abyss and even if it weren't that time would come very soon.

It isn't easy dealing with the prospect of ceasing to be when you are not yet eighteen. Indeed, she had really only enjoyed sixteen years of life before the accident. The first several months – before her mind had created dream-Isabel and dream-Max, had been lonely and terrifying. The times since then – short though they had been – she'd at least hallucinated companionship and finally a dream of the love and bliss that she might have actually experienced had she not had the accident. But the human mind is an amazing thing. Just as she'd created dream-Isabel and dream-Max to save herself from insanity in the abyss, her mind had gradually been able to adjust to the reality that she was fading away. Since she had no power to stop it she might as well be philosophical – embrace the experience – consider it the great scientific experiment that everyone wondered about and no one alive knew – was there actually life after death.

“It's OK, Izzy,” she said to the dream-girl her tortured mind had created - a dream she'd actually become pretty fond of over all these visits. “It's going to happen … and I guess I;m OK with it,” she said, trying to convince herself as much as to comfort this figment of her imagination.

“It is NOT OK, Liz. You have to fight this. Your my friend and … Oh God Liz, I don't have that many friends – I can't afford to lose any of them...”

Even now the contrast between her dream-Isabel and the real Ice Princess amused her. The real Isabel Evans likely wouldn't have cared if Liz lived or died – as long as she kept away from her brother. But this one had been a lot of companionship for much of her time in the abyss. Liz looked at her affectionately.

“Don't worry – all the fear and the pain and the loneliness will be over quickly – it was bound to happen.”

"It is NOT bound to happen. You've got to fight, Liz. Max is working his butt off - every day - you've just got to give him time...", said Isabel, her eyes watering with tears. Never had she looked less like an Ice Princess.

Liz still didn't believe that Isabel was real - or Max either for that matter, but something deep inside her other than her brain - her heart perhaps - acknowledged the debt that she owed them. Like a fondly remembered imaginary friend in childhood or a favored stuffed animal - one of which even now sat beside her bed in her room above the Crashdown - they had provided comfort when she urtgently needed it. Even her brain had to admit that dream-Izzy and dream-Max were the reason she could go to wherever she was about to go still sane and with dignity. Maybe dream-Isabel coming apart at the seams like this was the way her own subconscious mind was protecting her from the insanity of despair that had almost engulfed her when she was at first alone in the abyss. Somehow - even knowing she wasn't real - Izzy had endeared herself to Liz and compassion overcame logic.

"It'll be OK, Izzy..." said Liz, holding the sobbing girl close. "I can handle it....thanks to you and Max."

"But what about me? All those years I could have been your friend - should have been your friend - all the years that I wasted? And my God.... what about Max? I think that you were probably the only reason he ever made this world his own and without you...? Oh God Liz, Max won't even want to go on...."

It was an interesting philosophical point her mind thought, even as she comforted her imaginary friend. 'When the dreamer dies, what happens to the dream?'

She was still thinking that as the abyss evaporated into the dream plane, and Isabel found herself sobbing in nothingness. Her mind started to return to her body but halfway back changed course.

Alex had just put the music on when Izzy materialized in the orb. She looked devastated. He went to her at once and enveloped her in his arms protectively. Tonight there would be no dancing. He'd just hold her - rock her softly - run his fingers through her hair and let his shoulder absorb her shed tears...

Between her sobs Izzy knew that this was helping her. She somehow drew strength from being near Alex - and right now she badly needed that strength.

She didn't know what would help Max when the time came to tell Liz good-bye. She wondered if either she or Max would ever even see Liz again in the abyss. She snuggled tighter against Alex and quietly wept for both Liz and Max. She was - she was certain - going to lose them both.

[greywolf]

It was 11AM two days later and Isabel sat alone in the small conference room of the Roswell Public Library, waiting for Maria and Michael to join her.

She'd already dreamwalked Max - he hadn't been able to dreamwalk Liz either - he'd found no trace of her on the dream plane when he was there. Isabel had gotten the impression that Max was working himself to exhaustion with Liz's nursing care and his studies - and that was the only thing allowing her worried brother to sleep at all. Isabel was unsure if Liz would ever be able to re-establish the abyss but she was praying that she could do it one more time. She wasn't sure her brother would survive being unable to at least tell her goodbye - tell her that whether she was self-aware or not, he'd still keep trying to solve the mystery of those stasis chambers as long as she lived.

'As long as she lives...,' Isabel thought to herself.

Max had implied that the end could come fairly quickly after the REM sleep stopped – maybe in as little as six months. But Isabel couldn't help that, she realized. She shuddered and tried to concentrate on things she could do. As she saw Maria and Michael come through the door, she looked up and gave them a sad smile - welcome for the distraction from her dark thoughts. At least their romance seemed to be going well she noted, as Michael held the door open for Maria and looked at her with a loving smile. That was something, anyway.

The meeting was a quick one – intentionally so since they needed to avoid attracting suspicion – and the limited agenda was handled in just a few minutes. The next supply run would be a massive one. The heaviest item supplied had always been the water – but now the supply seemed ample at last. Water already in the podchamber should last nearly three months. The object of the next supply run would be to get the bulkier items – the disposable underpads, the disposable underwear, and the heavy and bulky nutritional supplement that went in Liz's feeding tube up to a similar supply. After that they could take at least a few months off during which time – hopefully – there'd be less pressure from Sheriff Valenti and the Feds. The planning – and pooling of money – went quickly. In the end there was just one more item of business.

“Here is the list of places I checked out and the map that shows all of the locations,” said Michael. “These first ten are all places that the jeep can go that any higher or wider vehicle just won't be able to get to – or any vehicle with less ground clearance for that matter. The last five places are places that – if you are lucky – you can force someone following you to make a mistake. If they do that you can get away – most likely. At least you ought to be able to put some distance between you and your pursuit. That' the best I can do right now.... we were out on the desert all day yesterday checking those places out and measuring them,” he finished.

“Thanks Michael.... Maria …. If you can start assembling that stuff we'll be looking at the next supply in eight days. Michael, where did you want to make the drop-off point this time?”

“It's on the map – out along the old Clovis highway – very near one of your places for scraping off any 4x4 pursuit.”

“OK,” said Isabel. Why don't you get out of here. I'll dreamwalk one of you if there are any changes.”

That, she knew, would be easier said than done. All too often they were together when she dreamwalked one of them – not necessarily bad she realized. She always gave them ample warning before coming in to their dreams. It wasn't that they were even doing anything in the dreams – she simply couldn't avoid thinking when she saw them together in the dream-orb that Michael's skills at dreamwalking were even less than Max's. Max could dreamwalk Liz by simply holding her hand. Michael needed to get considerably closer to Maria than that before they could share a dream together – the lucky devils.

After waiting around the library stacks for ten minutes after Michael and Maria left, Isabel left the library, her mind -as usual – worrying about her brother and sister-in-law.


Six days later-

Isabel's worries were not unfounded. Ever since she had dreamwalked him he had lost himself in work and study, unable – or at least unwilling – to give himself the time to even try to mentally cope with the prospect of losing Liz. He redoubled his efforts – caring for her comatose body lovingly – doubling up on her physical therapy as if that would somehow ward off what he knew deep inside was coming – but was unable to face. He studied arcane astrophysics texts not only to try to unloc k the workings of the stasis chambers, but to put his own mind in a state where the bewildering theory and mathematics of unified field theory virtually crowded all other thoughts from his mind until he simply collapsed into sleep from sheer exhaustion. But that did have one compensation at least. He was at least able to sleep. Had he not been, he would have missed what was to turn out to be his most brief visit in the abyss. A visit that would be the last time in the abyss for either of them. A visit that would not be pleasant for him – that would cause him loss and pain and sorrow – and a visit that would fundamentally change his life forever.

As he hovered in the dream plane – Max saw the mis-shapen small blob that was all that remained of Liz's dream-orb start to materialize. He propelled himself toward it and tried to enter. It was so deformed and damaged he had to struggle with his mind – but sensing her presence he finally managed to enter – feeling as well as seeing the black mists swirl around him. The abyss seemed to be little larger than Liz herself and he quickly found himself looking at her face.

“Hi, Max...,” Liz said with a sad smile.

[greywolf]

Liz struggled to keep the abyss open for these last few seconds. She realized that some time must have passed since her last time in the abyss - her time with dream-Isabel - and the difficulty she'd experienced this time - both getting the abyss to completely form and now trying to keep it open - told her that her brain had deteriorated to the point that it was unlikely she could do this again. That's why she smiled when she looked at dream-Max.

She loved dream-Max. Not dream-Max himself necessarily, for of course dream-Max wasn't real, but she loved the idea of dream-Max and how that idea had meant so much to her since her accident. The concept of dream-Max – even the personification of that concept that her subconscious had created – the young man before her – that had been been a precious thing that had restored her sanity and possibly restored her soul enough to undergo what was coming while still remaining ... well, human. Yes, the concept of dream-Max was beautiful, even if dream-Max himself wasn't real.

Exactly why her brain was certain that dream-Max wasn't real had to do with science. More specifically, the process of science - that and something called Occam's razor.

In general scientists try to test hypotheses - that's what an experiment is. You get some crazy idea - like that dream-Max is actually sort of an astral projection of the real Max Evans in the real world - and you form an experiment based upon the null-hypothesis. The null hypothesis would be that dream-Max WAS NOT connected to the real world. You would perform your experiments and compare them to statistical tables and - if the experiment demonstrated that there was a less than 5% probability that dream-Max and Max Evans really were not the same individual, you'd reject the null hypothesis. 95% certainty is - after all - plenty good enough in the world of scientific hypotheses. Unfortunately, the abyss had not really permitted any sort of experimentation since it had no access - unless of course the null hypothesis really was false - of any access to the real world.

That sort of forced Liz to fall back on observational research and inductive reasoning. That's where Occam's razor came in.

Occam's razor - or the law of parsimony - said that if alternate hypotheses were present the one most likely to be correct was the simplest one that explained all the observations. In this case these were the hypotheses available to Liz:

Option 1.Dream-Max was a creation of a damaged brain - hers - and had no existence in the real world. He was the product of the wishes, dreams, hopes, and aspirations of a 16 and a half year old brain that had been damaged in an automobile accident and now had to cope with the knowledge that it was never going to live to see anything like that occur in the real world. To Liz's knowledge, brain injured people having weird hallucinations happened every day in the real world. The hypothesis totally explained the existence of dream-Max, was highly uncomplicated, and highly likely to be true.

Option 2. Dream Max was actually the dream manifestation of Dream-Max. For that to be true Max Evans would have to be an alien - or at least partly so - which meant over half a century ago some chain of events from the 1947 crash had been started that ended up in three alien-human hybrid kids - the only three in the whole world - being in her high school class in her city (of 45,000 people out of the 2 million in New Mexico) where one of the three had fallen head over heels in love with her out of the nearly seven billion people in the world after coming uncountable trillions of miles from whatever star where they had been created. And that person had loved her enough to give up his own life for her - to devote all of his time to her care - to risk everything he was for her.

Obviously, Occam's razor made mincemeat of option 2 pretty quickly. The inherent odds against that option were quite literally astronomical. No, worse than that - they were cosmic.

So OK, why was she looking at dream-Max with such love? Because the concept of Dream-Max warmed her heart, that was why. He wasn't real - hell, neither was world peace - but the concept of dream-Max was a thoroughly wonderful concept, even if it wasn't ever going to happen. That someone would love Liz Parker so much - that they would put their own lives on hold - maybe for an eternity - just to take care of her... now that was an awe inspiring concept. Max Evans, perhaps, was Mr. Responsibility. Dream Max was Mr. Responsibility raised to the nth power. Even as a dream it wasn't something to be taken lightly. Besides that, Liz knew she owed dream-Max.

She had been a sixteen and a half year old girl when the accident had damaged her brain. She had been on the cusp of so many wonderful things - things that after the accident it had been apparent she never would see. But because of dream-Max she had seen those things - felt them in her dreams with a reality she would not have believed possible. She had been his friend, his bride, his lover, and his wife, known passion she had never known in her real life, known love and devotion like most people never find - even in the real world. Just knowing such a feeling could exist was amazing and - even as she resigned herself to her fate - she hoped that wherever she went and whatever she became the memory of the love she had known - imaginary or not - would somehow stay with her.

As horrible as the thought of passing without ever seeing her family or friends again was, the memory of the love she'd shared in her imagination with dream-Max was considerable solace. And that was why - even knowing he was imaginary - the good-bye was so hard.

"Oh God, Liz, ... don't go..." he cried, burying his head in her chest like a child seeking comfort from its mother, "Hang on.... please. I'll figure it out..."

Liz softly caressed his hair, just trying to comfort him. Which she knew made no more sense than trying to comfort a toy stuffed animal - not that she could help herself. He wasn't going to figure the problem out. She'd talked over every book - every article with him. Even if there really had been stasis chambers, Earth science was decades away from understanding them - perhaps even centuries. Dream-Max wasn't going to find any great breakthroughs in astrophysics in any length of time it would have done any good, even if he had been real - which he wasn't. All she really wanted to do was soothe him - enjoy these last few seconds of feeling loved.

"Shhh, Max. It'll be OK - really it will."

His head looked up - his face a mask of sadness - and their eyes met. They seemed to reach into her soul.

"I'll keep trying. I'll keep trying until I get it right. When I find out how to make them work - I'll be in the stasis chamber right beside you."

"It's OK, Max," she said. "You did your best, even if it doesn't work I'll still know you did your very best."

"No!" he shouted, looking almost panicked through his tears. "I will do it. If it can be done I will do it...," his eyes looked at her and she could feel the love welling up from them, "...and even if I can't, Liz, I promise you - we'll still be together. I don't want to live on without you."

"Max, no..." she said instinctively. Of course, that was stupid. Isabel had hinted that Max might not want to survive her - but even that was silly.

'When the dreamer dies, what of the dream?' she asked herself. It wasn't like dream-Max even could survive her. And he was only a figment of her imagination.

'But what if he isn't?' something asked inside her.

Of course, that was insane. Besides, there was nothing she could do - even if it was true. If dream-Max were indeed the astral projection of an alien-human hybrid Max Evans - well there was nothing she could do about it one way or another. If dream-Max's sense of responsibility said that he needed to join her in death, how could she stop him? Besides, the whole idea was impossible. Even banged up as it was, her brain told her that.

'Then how could it hurt to pretend? To do what you can to stop him from throwing his own life away?,' asked the voice.

Not the voice of her brain she decided, but the voice of her heart.

'If you are truly worthy of the love he has given you, you'll do what you can to stop him. You won't take any chance that somewhere there's someone that really loves you - sacrificing himself for you'

Max had again pressed his head into her chest. She felt the shaking sobs going through him. She pulled up on his chin and she forced his eyes to meet hers.

"Max, look at me. You need to promise me something. Promise me by the love we have for each other - by the marriage vows we took - that you'll do what I ask you."

Max nodded - unable to speak. She was barely able to tell him - to make sure he understood - before she and the abyss faded away.

Max fled the dream plane and found his body. He awakened holding her hand. He grabbed her in his arms and held her - sobbing quietly - for the next three hours. He didn't want to think of what she'd asked him to do - didn't want to stay on Earth if she wasn't going to be here with him - but he'd promised.

Max tucked Liz quietly back into bed and made sure her feeding tube was working properly - then started reading the next astrophysics book. He prayed that somehow it would give him the answer to the stasis chambers. Promise or not, he didn't want Liz to go alone to wherever she would go when her brain finally quit working. There had to be an answer somewhere and he wouldn't stop looking - not while there was any chance at all...

[greywolf]

It was sixty hours later and 2:30 AM and Isabel was heading northeast out of town. The trailing patrol car had already called Jim Valenti was even now in the Search and Rescue Jeep, just picking up Jaime Sanchez at his hotel. In the living quarters above the Crashdown, the beeper went off - but this time it wasn't just Jeff Parker who noticed it.

'beep'

The tiny sound wasn't much but it interrupted a nightmare that Jeff was having - a dream of Liz being in an auto accident - but as he awoke he remembered - remembered with a brief flash of shock and horror - that his dream was very real. He quickly got up out of bed - careful not to wake Nancy - and hurried upstairs.

Jeff went in to The Room- that is the room he'd made for himself from the old storage area across the hall from Liz's room - and quickly logged on to the GPS tracking site, hesitating only long enough to confirm that the Evans Jeep had indeed started to leave town to the northeast. He dressed hurriedly in the military surplus camouflaged clothes and boots, then picked up the night vision goggles and the shotgun and turned to leave. He went downstairs and out the back door - closing it softly so as to not awaken Nancy. What he didn't need right now was for her to awaken - then to be explaining to her where he was going and what he was doing.

Despite that, Nancy heard the 'click' of the closing door. She had been having nightmares of her own and had been awake on and off throughout the night. Many of her nights were like that these days. She grabbed her robe and slippers from the closet and hurriedly went out of the master bedroom to the living area and peeked out a window that looked out on the alleyway - just in time to see Jeff put the shotgun and strange looking binoculars into the car and quickly drive off.

She returned to the master bedroom and got back in bed – trying to force herself to sleep. But sleep wouldn't come – just tears. She had, she feared, already lost her daughter. More than likely she would now lose her husband as well since he appeared to bbe seeking some sort of stupid vengeance against Max Evans. Oh, it wasn't that Nancy approved of what Max had done – far be it from that – but the boy had done everything he could to help Liz before the insanity of the kidnapping. After the accident her own grief for her daughter had almost driven Nancy herself insane. Perhaps she could one day forgive Max for what his insanity had led him to do because of that. Somehow she doubted that Jeff ever would. Briefly she considered calling 911 – telling Kim Valenti that Jeff was out there – armed – and likely hunting for Max Evans. 'But to what purpose?' she asked herself. She had no idea where Jeff had gone. If Jim Valenti had had the resources to find one person lost in all of Chaves county, he would have no doubt found Max Evans – or Liz Parker – weeks ago. No, all Nancy could do was to lay there – crying in to her pillow – and hoping that Jeff Parker wouldn't do anything real stupid with that shotgun. She'd talk to him when he got back.

He patrol car managed to keep Isabel Evans under long range surveillance until they saw her pull off the road. As soon as they were certain she had loaded packages into the back and passenger seat of the jeep, the patrol car raced to intercept it heading northeast up the old Clovis Highway, even as Jim Valenti and Jaime Sanchez – in the Search and Rescue Jeep – headed in from north of there coming southeast.

The interception itself could not have been much more of an anticlimax. The guardrail had been damaged several months ago when a semi had locked its brakes and skidded off onto the shoulder when the driver was startled by a deer bolting across the road in front of him. Fortunately no one had been injured – even the deer had bounded safely away. Unfortunately the right front tire of the semi had done a real job on the guardrail – and vice-versa. In the grand scheme of things the broken support poll and ten feet of crumpled guard rail hadn't been a high priority for the county road department in a county that was bigger than several states. It was one of dozens of repair jobe that needed doing – and had been amalgamated with many of the others into one big project to be paid for – in part – with federal matching funds. And if the US Congress ever got off their fat butts and actually passed this years highway bill, the Chaves County contracting office would no doubt actually open that contract for bid and – in six months or so – that guardrail would get fixed. Tonight thugh, there was still a six foot gap in the guardrail into which the black jeep barely fit. As the patrol car behind her and the SAR jeep in front of her converged on Isabel's jeep she quickly turned the jeep into that narrow gap and shot down the gentle slope onto the desert below, the patrol car not capable of following her because of inadequate ground clearance and the SAR jeep's oversize wheels and rims just too damn wide to fit through the opening made by the damaged guard rail.

“Dammit...,” swore Jim Valenti as he saw that the wheels wouldn't fit in the opening. Jaime Sanchez merely shook his head.

“Obviously she's got this figured out, but next time.... I have a friend in the DEA. They've got just the thing for this.”

[greywolf]

They ended up at Royer Park again. The night had been clear and - in the high desert that meant icy cold. Of course, there was nothing particularly cold about being cuddled up with Alex. Somehow that warmed Isabel to her soul - even if they'd done no more than stargaze - which was all they they had.

It wasn't that she would have objected to anything more than that - of course - but Isabel was herself in a trap not unlike that Max and Liz had been in. Alex, Izzy knew, didn't believe this was real any more than Liz had. It was no one's fault but her own. She should have just told him - showed him - and not just in his dream-orb but in the real world as well. As it was she knew he was assuming that all this was about was giving her an alibi and - of course - it did do that. But that had long since ceased being the primary reason for getting together like this - at least for her. She needed him - it was a simple as that.

An Ice Princess doesn't make many real friends. For years she had really been close to only Max and Michael - although even then she depended on Alex's dream-orb for any strictly human companionship. In the past year she had gotten to know - and care for - both Liz and Maria. But she'd lost her brother to the podchamber and Liz, lost Michael and Maria to each other, and now she'd lost Liz as well.....

While the concept of a needy Ice Princess might seem a little bizarre, the truth was she'd never really been an Ice Princess or at least that was never what she'd wanted to be. Her dreams with Alex had sustained her for years - just as his physical presence sustained her now. She would have cared for him, of course, even if there had been other friends to share her time with. Without them though, she needed this time with him all the more.

'Except you've created a trap for yourself, she admitted to herself again. '...if you tell him now - in the real world - he'll know it's not a dream, but he'll think you are just using him.'

Of course, she thought, clinging to his shoulder, she was using him - using his nearness to keep life worth living as her whole life seemed to be collapsing around her. She sighed deeply.

If only she knew - knew for sure if she could actually give him those future children he seemed to want so badly. If she could she'd have done anything to win him over - anything at all. But she couldn't - wouldn't - in good conscience trick him into a relationship that - Alex being Alex - he would feel compelled to continue once he found out the truth. '....and you just don't know what the truth is...' she told herself again.

On the other side of that shoulder that she was thinking on, Alex was doing some thinking of his own. He was - to be truthful - more than a little bit frightened at how much he was enjoying these sessions. He was struggling mightily to keep from fantasizing about this being real - telling himself over and over again that Agent Phillips had to be at least partly right. Oh not that Isabel was using him - he was more than happy to do this to help whatever chance Max had of helping Liz - but rather that Isabel was way out of his league despite humoring him when he'd been overcome by her charms and kissed her.

In fact, his mind kept going back to that strange dream he'd had - the one where Izzy had acted so frightened and told him she was really Isabel Evans and was part alien and had hatched out of a pod from the 1947 saucer and was deeply in love with him and was only holding back because she wasn't sure that she could bear him the children he wanted. Even THAT was scary to think about. Not scary because of a partially alien Isabel Evans - but scary that his mind could even conceive - no pun intended - of the idea that Isabel Evans might actually desire to bear his children which sort of implied she was willing to do things that he'd probably best not even think about in the presence of the real Isabel. Of course that was easier said than done.

As he felt her head on his shoulder - smelled the fragrance of her shampoo - felt the warmth of her against him, Alex allowed himself the luxury of just pretending it was real for a moment - pretending Isabel - the REAL Isabel Evans - were some sort of female alien-human hybrid that cared for her that much. Would it make any difference to him if they couldn't have children? The fact of the matter was he would have been humbled at the notion that she would have even been willing to try.

'Besides,' he thought, hearing her breathing and feeling the gentle movements that accompanied it, ' ....we could always adopt. Bet she'd make some lucky kids a great mom.'

It was strange that of all the male students at West Roswell High excepting her brother and Michael, Alex was the only one to ever have that thought. Perhaps that was why Isabel had fallen so deeply in love with him.

Without actually moving his head he shook it mentally. He'd better stop these thoughts, he told himself. No sense getting his hopes up - she really was out of his league.

[greywolf]

As she let him off just around the corner from his house Isabel looked up at him.

'Thanks Alex,' she thought. 'You have no idea how much I needed that - being close to you - feeling like someone really cares about me....'

She only wished she had the courage to say that out loud. Instead what she did say was this.

"I really appreciate you doing this, Alex, and I really do enjoy the astronomy lessons. It's surprising how much I learn about outer space when I'm with you."

She winced internally. THAT last could have certainly been phrased better, truthful though it was. Even so, she felt better after an hour with Alex than she'd felt in the last week. If he'd been on her side of the jeep, chances are he would have gotten a kiss good-bye. And had that happened, odds would have been pretty good he'd have gotten a second kiss good-bye. And had THAT happened, the odds were excellent that the good-bye would have been delayed several hours - first by some deeper kissing, then by a long and scary - only for Isabel - talk about life that had once been in outer space and alien-human relations.

Oh, it would have likely been weeks or months before those alien-human relations were anything much more than just talk (although there was at least a small chance that a new era of alien-human relations would have occurred this very morning), but the fact was that Alex was over on the passenger side of the jeep and, much as he might have liked to initiate that whole process with a kiss good-bye, he hadn't completely convinced himself that the kiss would have been wanted rather than just tolerated and actually going around the jeep to her side obviously wouldn't have been spontaneous. For whatever reason, the opportunity came and went with nothing but friendly smiles.


Of course at least Alex got a friendly smile. That's more than Jeff got.

He had spent a long and fruitless morning freezing his tail off in the arroyo northeast of town. On this particular night, Isabel had completed her resupply mission without ever coming near the arroyo. Jeff was disappointed but somewhat philosophic as he scurried back home with every intention of running up the stairs to his secret room and verifying exactly where Isabel and her jeep HAD gone. But as he entered the back door he was hit by the aroma of coffee and sitting at the table - dressed in her robe and slippers - a tearful Nancy was waiting for him.

"Jeff, we need to talk," she said, her eyes taking in the camouflaged clothing and the 12 gauge shotgun.

He nodded. "I'll be right back," and hurriedly went up to the room and changed into less warlike garb, locking the shotgun away in the gun safe. Nancy's mood hadn't improved in the brief interval.

"I miss her too, Jeff. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her - that I don't cry until the tears fail to come - but as sad as I am about Liz's accident, as much as I fear for where she has gone and what's happening to her, I'm also worried about you. For all I know I have lost her and there may be nothing I can do about that - but I'm afraid now I'm losing you as well...."

"Nancy, that's nonsense. You know that I love you.... that I've always loved you..."

"What did you do this morning, Jeff? "

Jeff Parker sighed deeply. "I didn't DO anything. I went looking for our daughter..."

"With a shotgun?"

"She was kidnapped by that monster. Who knows what else he is capable of?"

"So what you mean is you went searching for Max Evans?"

"I don't think it's unreasonable for Max Evans to be made to pay for what he did in kidnapping Liz..."

Nancy closed her eyes and shook her head, then opened them and looked at Jeff again. "Are you saying that for Liz's sake? Or for your own?"

"For our daughter, " said Jeff, knowing that wasn't really the truth even as he said it, "...I was thinking about our daughter."

"I was thinking about Liz too while you were gone," said Nancy. "I was thinking about a talk I had with her just before she got out of third grade. I never told you about it back then - perhaps I should have. When it started I wasn't even sure that Liz was ready for the talk - I'm still not sure you are ready to hear about it. It was the first time I talked to Liz about the 'birds and the bees' and I had intended to just tell part of the story but - you know Liz - one question led to another. Pretty soon she knew the whole thing."

[greywolf]

Nancy continued her story. “It had,” she said, “started simply enough. One of the older girls – a fifth grader if I recall correctly – started having her first period one recess. The girl was frightened and Liz saw her go to the school nurses office then her mother came and picked her up. She heard some of the older girls talking and came home and asked me what a period was. I'd already read up on how to explain it – even bought her a booklet that explained the changes that girls bodies go through. I had – I thought – probably over prepared, but you know Liz. You always did need to be ready to explain more than you expected to. Well, one question led to another and pretty soon I was explaining to her that this was how her body prepared itself a place to nurture the eggs that would someday get fertilized and become babies. That was followed by THE question – how DO the eggs get fertilized.

Well, I'd read up on what to say about that and the parent guidance books recommended that – if your daughter asked – that you explain the process fully, and that's what I did. The guidance books said the next thing to expect was for your daughter to get wide eyes – start to stutter – and ask her mother if that's how she was made, if you and her daddy really did...THAT.”

“I guess I don't understand, Nancy. I'm not sure what this has to do with Max Evans...?”

“What it has to do with Max Evans is simply this; Liz didn't get wide eyes and start to stutter and ask me if her daddy and I had really done THAT. She got wide eyes and started to stutter and asked me if that meant that she and Max might someday do THAT?”

“I don't think you are going to convince me that our daughter wanted to have sex with Max when she was still in the third grade.”

“Of course not. Third grade girls don't want to have sex with anyone. Like most girls that age she was taken aback by the whole idea. Shocked, embarrassed, and somewhat offended. But I was as surprised as you. I asked her about why she'd said that - mentioned Max in particular.”

“Had he been pushing her – even then?”

“No, Jeff, nothing of the sort. She was still pretty embarrassed by the very thought of the process, but what it sounded like was that if I was telling her that becoming an adult actually necessitated doing things like THAT – if it HAD to happen someday, well Max Evans was the only one she could even bring herself to visualize it happening with – the only boy she knew that she trusted enough that she could even imagine being that exposed and vulnerable around. I actually think she was pretty revolted by the whole idea at the time – I know that I was when my mother explained it to me – it was more like if it ever were to happen she knew he wouldn't somehow hurt her when she left herself that vulnerable - like Max was the one guy she knew that cared for her more than he cared for himself.”

“That was one incident – a long time ago – when they were both very young. I'm not sure it means anything today.”

Nancy pulled out the small book from the pocket of her robe. “That's not really true, Jeff. I found Liz's diary – months ago actually – and I was reading through it all night – at least ever since you left. Max is mentioned quite a lot in it – more than any other guy except for our daughter's father – and for just the last few years before her accident, maybe even more than you. You know, Diane Evans told me that she and Philip were totally amazed that Max was so emotionally attached to Liz – that he went off to Albuquerque without a moment's hesitation when he heard about her car accident. Looking through Liz's diary, I'm amazed I didn't notice how emotionally attached Liz was to him – at least I didn't know until I read her diary.”

"Liz and Max?"

"No, actually more just Liz. It started innocently enough - well I guess it never did go beyond innocence - but when boys and girls started going on dates in junior high school - when they started pairing up in high school - it's obvious she wanted to be his girlfriend. At first it was just sort of an infatuation with her lab partner, but her feelings for him were pretty plain. She kept waiting - hoping he'd take the first step. Sometimes she thought he was just too shy - sometimes she was actually paranoid enough to think that Isabel was out to keep them apart."

"Yeah, well maybe she was. Maybe she knew what kind of of a pervert the boy was and was trying to keep both of them from getting hurt."

"Jeffery - you don't understand. Just like Diane and Philip never realized how deep the feelings Max had for Liz were, we never realized how deep Liz cared for Max. This boy that you went out this morning to shoot - if it hadn't been for Liz's accident - who knows what might have happened. Liz cared for Max and in time that could have grown into love. Maybe for Max it already had. It was the drunk that did this to her - and the judge that let him out - not Max Evans. The young man you are trying to kill might have been destined to be our son-in-law some day had that accident not happened. My God, what would Liz think if she knew what you were trying to do?" shouted Nancy, almost hysterically. "...and I've already lost my daughter, I don't want to lose you too..."

A man has responsibility for his wife as well as his daughter. It was obvious to Jeff than Nancy was distraught. She hadn't convinced him - but clearly Nancy was hurting too - hurting for her lost daughter just as badly as Jeff himself was - just not thinking as clearly. Now was not the time to argue with her. He took her in his arms and held her.

"I don't know, Nanc...., Maybe you are right," he said - not at all convinced. "I'll think about that. I won't do anything stupid - I promise you."

Of course he didn't think it would be stupid at all to put some double ought buckshot in the pervert and end this. It was just what the little bastard needed. At least then Max would never be let free to kidnap some other young girl by the same 'justice' system that let the drunk free to kill Liz.

[greywolf]

It was three days later when Jaime drove in to the Roswell Sheriff's Department's vehicle maintenance yard – the SAR Jeep now pulling a trailer with some sort of misshapen vehicle on it covered with a tarpaulin.

“What in the heck is THAT?” asked Jim Valenti.

“This...,”said Jaime, pulling off the tarpaulin, “...is a Baja Racer. This one actually won the Baja 1000 about seven years ago but it has since fallen on hard times. It and another one just like it were apparently bought by some Columbians a few years ago who installed some oversize mufflers to quiet them down that strangely enough make them street-legal.”

Valenti didn't actually say anything, but the arched eyebrow seemed to radiate doubt.

“Well, OK, if it had windshield wipers it would be street legal,” said Jaime.

“And a windshield....” said Jim.

Jaime smiled, “Well yeah, that too I guess. The drug gang used them to make quick cocaine deliveries across the desert between Mexico and Texas – scooting across and handing off the drugs to waiting confederates on the US side of the Rio Grande. They ran them at night using night vision scopes – the big running lights were replaced with infrared spotlights. They gave the DEA fits until they boxed them in one night with helicopters that had their own FLIR systems. They could see these guys coming miles away and were able to set traps for them. The DEA guys liked the vehicles so much that they had them confiscated by the court and kept them and licensed them for their own use.

The point is, Jim, that this thing is narrower than that girl's Jeep, lower than that girl's Jeep, has better suspension for off-road than the Jeep does and even with the oversize mufflers the engine turns out 520 horsepower so there is no way that young lady is going to be able to pull away from us – either on pavement or on the floor of the desert. We'll have to wear helmets, goggles, and coveralls of course – it gets more than just a little dusty in the driver and passenger's compartment – and onne of us will have to carry a hand-held radio because it has too much shock and vibration to vehicle mount one, but I guarantee you, we will definitely have the equipment edge next time.”

They say that you can tell the men from the boys by the price of their toys. It was obvious from Jim Valenti's grin that he was happy with his new one.

“Think we can take it out for a spin? Get a little daytime practice?” he asked.

Jaime pulled out a couple pair of helmets, goggles, and coveralls, and threw one of each to Jim.

“I don't see why not...” said the grinning FBI agent.


At the same time that Jaime Sanchez and Jim Valenti were preparing to raise vast clouds of dust over eastern New Mexico, Jeff Parker was about fifteen miles north of town – up one of the small little dead-end roads in the hills to the east of the Old Albuquerque road. He had been disappointed when Isabel hadn't shown up in the arroyo, but he had known it was a fifty-fifty chance. It was simply bad luck that he'd chosen to wait at the arroyo. But it was like the coin flip for a football game – you got another chance in the second half. He'd waited a day – until Nancy seemed appropriately mollified – to even check the coordinates on the GPS tracker. He'd found what he'd suspected – that Isabel Evans' jeep had again gone down the section of Old Albuquerque road that appeared below him.

He'd already driven the section once – trying to appear unobtrusive – and his suspicions had centered on the three deserted ranch houses to the west of the roadway. An hour of watching from this perch with binoculars had shown no sign of any activity in the buildings. But whatever else Max Evans was – and Jeff certainly had his opinion on that – he wasn't any dummy. Could be he didn't even move in to the area until Isabel was ready for a supply drop. No, the thing to do would be to come up here immediately when Isabel left town the next time – he'd have plenty opf time to do it while she was driving through the desert to lose her surveillance – and just sit here watching with his night vision goggles. Sooner or later she'd either come deliver the supplies to one of those ranch houses – or at least stash it somewhere along this stretch of road. When Max Evans showed up to get the supplies he would follow him to his hideout. God willing, Liz might still be alive even. That would be great if she was – although Jeff really didn't expect it. Jeff was pretty sure that – after he'd done whatever his obsession with her compelled him to do, and Jeff didn't want to think about that – Max would have let Liz die. It wasn't like he'd go to the sort of effort it would have taken to keep her alive this long.

'Well, at least she was comatose,' he told himself. 'That way she never knew what he did to her.... But Max was going to know what was happening to him when Jeff caught up with him. For what he'd done to Liz, for the pain he'd caused Nancy by stealing the last few weeks of her only child's life from her, and for the pain he'd caused a terrified and guilt-stricken father... Max Evans was going to pay.

[greywolf]

It was almost nine weeks later when Isabel next met with Michael and Maria in the the same conference room of the Roswell library - eight weeks and five days that seemed like they had been the longest and most stressful of her life. For eight long weeks she had tried every night to make contact with Liz - but even the pathetic dream-orb that was the abyss was no more. Max didn't appear to be in a whole lot better shape either.

Everyone requires a certain amount of sleep - usually about four hours a night - to maintain their own mental health. Without that period their own mental performance falls off alarmingly due to the effects of sleep deprivation. In the real world that is manifested by irritability and - in the extreme - by psychosis. In the dream-plane, it shows up as irritability and a defective dream-orb and Isabel's best guess was that Max was getting about three hours sleep a night.

Max was continuing his research on the stasis chambers. That and providing nursing care for Liz had apparently been his whole life for over 2 months now. The few hours of sleep he did get he searched incessantly for Liz's dream-orb. He hadn't found it either.

In the last eight weeks she'd only been able to dream-walk Max three times and each time he seemed more frightened that he wouldn't ever understand the stasis chamber. The last time - two nights ago - had been the scariest. She'd known that it would soon be time that he would need more supplies. She just hadn't known about the extra supplies he would ask for.

In truth, Isabel was as worried about Liz as Max was. Her mental health was considerably better though - thanks in large part to Alex. No, they still hadn't gotten past coffee dates in the real world, but every night she was dancing in his arms and those moments had been more important to Isabel than even she wanted to admit. They were, she knew, keeping her sane - if not totally unstressed. She needed those times - just as Max needed a Liz he no longer had.

At least she could approach what she feared was to come with some degree of support and not quite the desperation that Max seemed to feel. That didn't mean she was giving up, of course. That's why she was here with Maria and Michael. She intended to do everything she could to support her brother and sister-in-law and hope for the best. But it was clear that hope for Liz was dimming.

"I think we need to get this together within the next week or ten days. Max didn't exactly say he was running out of supplies, but he has to be getting pretty close now. I told him we'd do this Saturday after next so we need to be ready before then. Also, he has requested some stuff that's... not the usual."

"Not the usual?" asked Maria, "...in what way is it not the usual?"

Isabel looked at Maria's left hand - the one that Michael was holding. The one with the engagement ring on it. She mentally nodded approvingly. At least there was joy in the world for some people. She hated to ruin what ought to be a great time for the two of them by giving them this news but she needed their help. Besides, they at least had each other. It would help them get through - whatever hapened.

"Max is also for some medical items. Some Iv solutions. He says it doesn't matter if they are in date or not - he can use his powers to resterilize them. He is asking for several one liter bags of dextrose injection, sodium chloride solution, potassium chloride solution, and some Lactated Ringer's Solution."

"Those are like - crash cart items," said Maria, her face grim. "Is Liz...?"

"Max didn't indicate any real urgency to get them," said a somber-faced Isabel. "I think it's more like he wants to have them available because he fears he's going to need them in the future. You could almost feel his reluctance to consider using them - even in the dream-orb."

"Might it be better if Max brought Liz back to a hospital....?"" Maria started, Michael reached out and drew her into a hug, his cheek pressed against hers as if he was trying to draw some of her own pain away.

"Maria, they'd just send her back to the nursing home. I know it's hard but even if it were me or you involved - I still think our best chance would be with Max."

"I know," she said, her eyes seeming to reassure Michael. "This isn't about not trusting Max, and you are right - he already saw that she went to the best specialist there was for this - it's just that this is tearing me apart. And it's got to be killing Max as well - maybe one of us should go to the podchamber - help him out with Liz's care at least? That might give him more time to do the other things...?"

"Maybe," said Michael doubtfully, "...but if we were to lead somebody there - if the government were to find the podchamber it will be all over for Liz. They'd take the stasis chambers for their own study - certainly they wouldn't tie one up for Liz and certainly not one for Max until the research is done."

"I'll talk to Max - next time I get through," said Isabel, "...and see if he needs some more nursing help. My guess is that he'd rather just keep pressing on though."

"Well how will we get the medical stuff? Don't you need a prescription or something for stuff like that?"

"I'm not sure myself, Maria," said Isabel.

Michael shook his head.

"It won't be a problem. As it happens, I can get it fairly easily at my job."

"You can?" asked Maria.

Michael had moved out of Hank Guerin's trailer. It had been by mutual agreement. Hank Guerin had agreed that he wasn't going to make a fuss and Michael had agreed that if he didn't he would refrain from pounding the crap out of the drunk old lecher a second time. The first had occurred when Maria had come by to pick him up and the old drunk had groped her while Michael was getting his jacket on. In fact, there wouldn't have been a second beating in any event had Hank Guerin ever crossed Maria's path again. It would have been far worse than that. That fact had been absolutely clear to Hank - even through the haze of alcohol that always surrounded him - when he'd looked into Michael's face. In fact, Hank figured it was only Maria's intervention that had stopped Michael from killing him on the first occasion and he had no interest in tangling with his foster-son or his fiance ever again.

In any event, and unbeknownst to the department of child services, Michael had moved out. In six months it would be moot when he turned eighteen in any event. But he was supporting himself working part-time nights for a janitorial service for businesses. When they were closed at night, Michael and two other guys would rapidly vacuum, wash and wax floors, and have them ready and fresh for the next day's opening. The pay wasn't great but it was enough to keep Michael eating and pay the rent on a small studio apartment that he had rented over one of the businesses in the old part of town not too far from the Crashdown. Although Isabel hadn't really asked, she was pretty sure Maria spent a fair number of her nights there with him.

"Yeah," said Michael. "One of our client businesses is an ambulance service. They keep a lot of that stocked in the ambulances. When it goes out of date, the paramedics just mark it 'for training use' with a magic marker and toss it in a closet until they have an EMT or CPR class. They don't even inventory the stuff. If Max doesn't mind it being a little out of date, it'll be easy enough to get everything you want. We do the ambulance service every third night, and half the time they wind up going on a call when we are there. I'll just slip the stuff into a bucket when we leave and nobody will ever miss it."

"Well, OK then..." said Isabel. That had gone easier than she had expected. Of course, the worrisome thing was that Max feared it would be needed it all. "As for the drinking water ... the Depends... the Ensure..."

"Not a problem," said Maria. "I've already been gathering that stuff up - a little at a time so it wasn't that obvious - every time Mom sends me out to the surrounding towns to deliver pies and alien trinkets. I've got almost all we need, and can get the rest within a week."

Five minutes later Isabel watched Michael and Maria leave the library hand-in-hand. Maria, she had to admit, had done Michael a world of good. He was emotionally more stable than he'd ever been. He was worried about Max and Liz of course, but that aside, life was the best for Michael it had ever been. She completed him - like Liz somehow completed Max.

'So why don't you tell Alex?' she asked herself. 'Tell him in the real world?' She knew - deep in her heart - that she needed him - but still couldn't bring herself to do it. It wasn't even that she didn't trust him - not anymore. Alex was not going to panic and run away screaming from her - she was pretty sure of that at least. 'But what if he can't bring himself to love you if he knows what you are? And what if you can't give him the kids he really wants?'

In fact, Isabel wasn't any more paranoid about her chances of Alex loving her than either Micheal or Max had been about their chances with Maria or Liz. Max hadn't told Liz - not until she was in a coma and he'd had no choice. Michael hadn't really told Maria at all - they'd just shared the same dream-orb in a post-coital snuggling sleep and Isabel had actually blabbed the truth to her. That her paranoia was stopping her from getting emotional support that she desperately needed was unfortunate - but it didn't break down the final fears that were preventing her from just telling Alex. If it had been, what happened the Saturday after next would have been a lot easier on her. Unfortunately, she just couldn't bring herself to do it.