Roswell Fanatics

*MAX*

She wants to get to know me a little better. I try to puzzle that out, hoping it doesn't show on my face. Why does she suddenly want to get to know me better? Because I'm a friend of Liz's and she's a longtime friend of the family, too? Yeah, maybe. It might be nothing, but somehow I'm sure there's something more to it. I just wish I knew what.

She says something to Liz that I can't quite make out although her tone seems friendly, even encouraging. Then she quickly gets up and starts on her lecture.

I turn to Liz with a questioning look, wondering if she's going to give me any hints about this earlier conversation she'd been having with Ms. Brennan. "Any clue what this is all about?" I whisper to her.

~Liz~

It takes mere moments after I’ve agreed for Max’s hesitation to vanish. He’s still curious as to what this is all about I can tell even before he asks, but he agrees non-the less. “What’s it about…?”

He’s looking alternately from me to Ainsling and I know that he’s both wanting, and expecting an answer from one of us. How can I answer though, when I don’t know for certain myself… I have ideas sure, but after everything that Ainsling said this lunchtime, I can hardly imagine that they’re going to be right… I mean she’d be doing a complete U-turn and besides that, going against everything we’ve all ever been told. As soon as my powers emerged I was told of the importance to keep it secret… Dad knows of course, and I think Nancy has some clue that there’s something not quite normal, but I don’t think she’s every been told what. Even dad can’t really understand what we do…although he understands the risks of course…he understands that he lost his wife because of it. That’s the reason he’s always tried to keep me and Serena away from it…when Ainsling arrived in our lives he was so reluctant to allow her to get close to us because he knew she was going to draw us in all the more. If nothing else he wanted us to have a normal childhood, which I can understand… The thing is that it’s not possible though…to have done that would have put us in even more danger now. The demons and warlocks aren’t going to hold off because we’re not ready…they’ll come after us whatever state of preparation we’re in and that’s why Ainsling took on the task of making sure we were ready. She’s always so insistant though, I just can’t believe that she’s going to give up on trying to change my mind like that. Part of me is beginning to worry. What if she’s going to tell him something else…something that will make him turn away from me in order to keep me quiet. My thoughts are interrupted by the bell and Ainsling answers Max quickly.

“It may be nothing, but I think you and I should get to know each other a little better Max…”

I’m torn…part of me sees this as a good thing, and part bad…I don’t know what to think. Then suddenly I’m aware that Ainsling is talking to me again, softly so that no one else hears as she bends down in front of me. “I understand when things seem really difficult, but you know I’m on your side… Please come back after class so I can help you…”

I’m still worried as to what she might be meaning by that, but her tone makes me nod despite the fact that she’s already turned away from me. “I’ll be there…” I whisper, unsure whether or not she’s heard me or not.

As Ainsling slips back into her role of Physics teacher and begins her lecture, I continue to run our previous conversation through my head. Did I honestly manage to change her mind…?

“Any clue what all this is about?”

I jolt slightly in my seat, my through process interrupted as Max asks the one question I’m really not ready to answer. There’s the fact that I don’t know for certain myself, and also the fact that I’m worried about it…but then if I don’t tell him, maybe he’ll change his mind. Which could be a good or bad thing… I try to calm my thoughts, knowing that I’m getting as bad as Maria at the moment. Never outloud of course, but my mind is a busy place. I buy myself a little time, pretending to be concentrating on something Ms Brennan has said and copying something down from the board. Finally it won’t wait any longer though and I turn towards him, still unsure about what I’m going to say until I actually open my mouth. “There are some things we need to talk about…things you need to know about me…” I finally tell him softly. And in that moment, I know that whatever Ainsling intends, whatever she ends up saying or doing, tonight Max will get the whole truth from me…

*MAX*

I frown as Liz turns away, seeming to ignore me as she starts on the classwork Ms. Brennan has put on the board. Eventually, she turns back, but her answer isn't one that clears anything up for me. Things I need to know about her... While I'm sure that's true, I don't understand why Ms. Brennan would be the one involved in telling me. Why not her parents? Or better, just Liz herself?

It's clear this isn't a good time to talk, so I busy myself on the schoolwork, too, waiting for the end of class. I thought I knew Liz better than anyone. I've connected with her in healing and had flashes when we are together. I've seen her memories. I've felt her feelings. And yet, lately there have been things that haven't made a lot of sense.

This is Liz. I feel so complete with her, and I need to eliminate these questions. Will this meeting do that? I wish I knew. I do know that I'll have to put off my plan to talk to Ms. Brennan privately since she's already set up this other meeting. It's bound to be interesting.

Finally the bell rings and I pile my books together. Turning to Liz, I lean over take her hand, wanting so badly to hold her close and kiss her. "Wanna maybe find someplace to, um, ... talk?" My voice drops to a whisper as I add, "The eraser room?"

OOC: sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this, haven't been too well and just about coming round (sinus trouble sucks big time lol). Hope that this is ok for everyone though

~Liz~

The lesson seems to go on for an age… Usually I’d enjoy Physics, but today all I want is for school to be over…I want to know what Ainsling wants to tell Max and, if it’s not the truth, I want to take him aside after and do away with all the secrets I’m keeping from him. If I know one thing, it is that I would trust Max with my life, just as he did me with his. My secret is just as dangerous as his, perhaps even more so… I have demons and warlocks coming after me all the time while he’s simply trying to keep a low profile. Yeah, I’m really going to help that effort aren’t I? I sigh. There are so many reasons why things between us shouldn’t work out…so many reasons I should tell him I can’t be with him…yet when I’m with him, I know that none of that matters. What matters is that I love him more than life itself… Before I met him, I didn’t know what love was, but now, I don’t know what I’d do without him. I need to know that he’s safe though…and that means he has to know the truth…he has to know to protect himself… All these thoughts are running through my head and it’s a really good job I’m good at science, because I don’t think even a quarter of what Ainsling has been talking about has actually gone into my head. There’s just too much going on…

Finally, the bell rings to signify the end of the period and I begin to gather my books, shoving them quickly back into my bag and making ready to head off to my next lesson. Max is doing the same but when he’s finished, he surprises me, leaning over and taking my hand. "Wanna maybe find someplace to, um, ... talk?…The eraser room?"

He adds the last bit hesitantly and I’m not sure if he thinks he’s giving me the wrong impression. I don’t suppose it matters really…Max is right, we do need to talk…although there are a few other things I might prefer to do… Okay, where did that come from…? I swallow, hoping that it’s not obvious what I’m thinking and try to concentrate on the problem at hand. “Uh…sure…talking would be good…” I respond after a moment. I smile at him, hoping that it’s not obvious that I’m nervous and trying to act normal. Depending on what he wants to talk about, I don’t know if there’s going to be anything left to tell this afternoon when we meet Ainsling…because I know one thing, I don’t think I can lie to Max again. If he asks me about the flashes, or anything like that, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to keep my silence any longer. I wonder what Max will think when he discovers that what he believes are a side effect of his healing are in fact nothing to do with him, or his abilities… I’m not exactly your typical small town girl…

*MAX*

I'm glad, but a bit nervous when Liz agrees to come to the Eraser room with me. We'll end up missing our next class, but I'm sure we'll be able to make it up. As long as it doesn't get back to our parents that we've been cutting.

I take Liz's hand as we walk, because it just feels so natural, but there are no flashes from that contact. Sometimes there are, sometimes not. Right now, I'm feeling kinda confused and I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

I don't know what to say. How to start. So we walk in silence. I smile at her, because seeing her does make me incredibly happy, even if I am confused about what's going on. I just have to beleive it's going to work out. I need it to. I need her.

As we get to the door, I glance around, slowly, to see who's around. Mostly making sure there are no teachers in sight. The kids, I'm not worried about. "All clear," I whisper to her, and we slide through the door together.

~Liz~

As Max slips his hand into mine I smile. It’s such a small gesture, but it means so much… For so long we pretended that nothing was going on and even things like hand-holding were out of the question… Max’s argument was that he would be putting me in danger…if only he had known the truth… So many times I wanted to tell him that wasn’t a problem, but I forced myself to keep quiet and eventually he came round on his own. I just hope my silence is not going to destroy what we have though…I can feel the connection between us just hovering beneath the surface…not active, yet not dormant either… It’s almost as though we’re each putting up a slight block, confusion and nerves creating an obstical which it’s struggling to overcome…

Neither of us says anything as we walk along the corridor…I don’t think either of us know how to start in all honestly… I mean how do I do this…? I’ve thought about it so many times but the fact is there’s no easy way to say what I need to…there’s no easy way to tell Max I’ve been lying to him…that despite the fact he took the risk of telling me the truth about himself, I didn’t feel able to do the same…

I look up and see him smile, but it’s not carried through to his eyes…looking into them I see worry and confusion…maybe even a little hurt because, although he doesn’t know what it is, I think he already knows that I’m keeping a secret from him. Please just let this be alright though…don’t let me lose him because of this…I don’t knaw what I’d do if I did… I’d have to continue…not for myself, but for Serena… I can’t let her down… Inside though I know I would be empty…I would feel incomplete and I know without a doubt that without Max I would never be able to feel whole again. I love you Max Evans…I just pray that you believe that when the truth comes out…

As we reach the end of the corridor, Max looks around. The corridor is full of students, but that’s not who he’s looking for…it’s teachers that we’re bothered about, the students – well they’ve seen plenty of people go in here, we’re not the first and we won’t be the last…it might be a hot topic for a few hours, Max Evans and Liz Parker alone in the eraser room, but it’ll soon lose it’s appeal when someone else is seen doing exactly the same thing.

“All clear…”

He whispers in my ear and I not, slipping in through the door with him. Once inside, I see Max reaching out to push it to, but I beat him to it, whispering a quick spell to make sure we’re not disturbed at the same time. Cutting our next class will be one thing, but if we’re caught in here by a teacher that really would not be good…a little insurance against that won’t go amiss. As I finish, I turn around to face Max again. “So…what do you want to talk about…?” I ask him softly.

*MAX*

I find myself tilting my head to one side in confusion as Liz seems to be whispering to the door as she shuts it. Is she that nervous about talking to me? Or is actually something about the door?

"Are you okay, Liz?" I ask her. "You don't have to be here if you don't want to be..."

The last thing I want is for her to feel forced or pressured. I love her and I'd never want that.

~Liz~

“Are you ok Liz…? You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to be…”

I look round, shaking my head. “No, why would you think that I don’t want to be here, of course I want to be here Max…it’s an opportunity to be alone with you, what more could I want…?” As I finish, I suddenly realise exactly what I’ve said and blush. It just came out…I couldn’t help it… And it’s true, I do want to be with him… My body is aching to be with him in other ways too, but I’m not going to give in…I know that I’m not ready yet…am I…? I shake my head. My feelings are confused at the moment, there’s no denying that… Although there’s one thing I could never be confused about…the way Max makes me feel. I smile at him, trying to reassure him that I mean what I said, then suddenly I realise that his eyes are drifting to the door. In an instant I know that he’s heard me. Of course he heard me…I took the door out of his hands…he was right beside me, why wouldn’t he hear me… I sigh, knowing that this is likely going to get complicated…fast… Wait for the questions…or come straight out with it…? Either way, it’s coming up to the moment of truth…

*MAX*

Liz's answer seems genuine, but I still don't understand what she was saying at the door. Praying I wouldn't ask her about her lies? I don't know. But she did say that being alone with me is all that she wants. Those words warm my heart because they are so much my own thoughts. Sometimes, it seems that I need her more than food, water or even air.

"I feel the same way," I tell her, stepping even closer although we're already close in this small room. I brush my thumb down the side of her face, needlessly pushing her hair aside and watching it fall back into place. "I need you so badly."

I want so much to press my lips to hers. To forget everything except her touch. Her smell. Her taste. But Liz’s question still lingers in the air. What do I want to talk about? There are so many things I need to know, but at the moment, I can't even remember exactly what question I was going to ask.

I hover there, mere inches away, and finally I just have to give in. I cup my hand around the back of her neck and pull her closer. In a moment, we’re one again. I can feel her in ever cell of my body. She responds, melting in my arms as her hands wrap around my back and shoulders, pulling us closer. I try not to lose myself completely, because this isn’t why we came. I told her we had to talk, and that’s still true. Just as I'm about to try to break the kiss, I see them. The flashes. As always, they're fast, but full of emotion. As always, there are some that are clearer than others. And some that don't make immediate sense. I never worried much about them before, but now... I'm starting to think this is something I need to know.

With a nearly superhuman effort, I pull back. “I’m sorry Liz. I know I told you we were going to talk, not –"

OOC: hope this works for you Isabelle...if it doesn't just say

~Liz~

I have to admit that I’m surprised that Max doesn’t come straight out and ask me about what I was just doing…surprised, but I have to admit relieved…

“I feel the same way…”

He steps closer to me brushing my hair aside and sliding his thumb down over my cheek. His touch is electrifying…and for a moment I manage to forget everything about secrets and problems with them…all that’s important is the fact that Max is here with me…

“I need you so badly…”

I know what he means…standing like this, it’s all I can do to stop myself from taking one more step and closing the remaining distance between us. I just told myself I was sealing the door to make sure our conversation wasn’t interrupted…so why do I keep thinking about what else could happen…? Without meaning to, my thoughts keep drifting to what Maria said the first time Max asked me to meet in here. ‘The eraser room does two things…cleans erasers and takes our innocence…’ I shake my head. I wonder what Maria would think if she knew I was thinking like this…or if she knew how close we had come last night… Part of me knows this is a dangerous situation to be in given how we’ve been recently, but another part, the part which rules, doesn’t care and I don’t step back even as I know I should.

Max’s voice is soft and his tone sincere…there’s no doubt in my mind that he means what he’s saying… Suddenly his hand slips behind my head and I feel him pulling me closer before my lips meet his. That feels just so right…and yet at the same time I know it’s not the same as usual… There’s a hesitation in his movements…the same one I saw last night after I lied to him. For now though, at least, it appears that talking has been forgotten… Without thinking about it, I relax easily into his arms and feel the familiar connection between us come to life once more. My own arms slip behind his neck, running down to his back and burying myself deeper in his arms. Right now, nothing else matters, I want only one thing…to be with him… We kiss and as usual the connection sends me a multitude of emotions that I know he’s feeling. One is overwhelming though…confusion… Suddenly, before I realise what’s happened, I feel the connection sever as Max pulls away.

“I’m sorry Liz…I know that I told you we were going to talk…not-“

He breaks off awkwardly and I nod, trying not to show how much the way he withdrew from me just then hurt. For a few moments I have allowed myself to forget about the questions which come next but now I know there’s no more putting it off. “I understand…” I answer softly. “I’m sorry…what do you want to talk about then…?” I ask hesitantly, taking another step back and leaning against the shelves on one side of the room. Keeping my distance is the only way I can remain forcused on this…on what I need to say…