Roswell Fanatics

Shall we skip to later in the day, then?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*MAX*

I smile at Liz's teasing. After all, I'd started it. I wrap my arm around her waist and walk towards the building with her. It feels so nice to have her close to me like this. Natural. Wonderful. And for a moment, I forget the secret between us. The secret she wouldn't share with me last night. And my plans to try to discover it later today. I know it's a betrayal of her trust, but I need to know.

I wonder if it was related to her odd reaction as we got to school today. I don't see the connection there, although the Physics teacher was there, and she had been in her memories, too. I doubt she'll tell me anything, but maybe I can get a clue.

"Come on. I'll walk you to your locker," I tell her with a grin.

"What a surprise," she teases. "You do that every morning."

I give her a squeeze and a bigger grin. "All the better to spend an extra two minutes with you."

OOC: Skipping to later in the day is fine with me, I'm gonna place this somewhere around lunchtime if that works for you Isabelle


~Liz~

This morning has dragged so much… Usually it seems like no time at all between getting to school and having lunch…especially when the lessons I’ve had have been in the most part ones that I share with Max… The thing is that I’ve been thinking all morning about the conversation that I’m wanting to have with Ainsling… Well no, maybe want is too strong a word, I NEED to have it, I’d happily not do, but I know that I need to do this. Hiding things from Max is getting more and more difficult… It’s one of the reasons that Serena has given for why I should break up with Max, but if I know one thing, it’s that I’m not going to do that…I couldn’t bare to lose him… Then again I might not get a choice in it…there’s a definite possibility that when I tell Max, I’ll lose him anyway…I can hardly blame him for being angry when he’s opened up and told me about his secret… He has a right to expect me to do the same and I haven’t…even if I do so now, I’ve still kept it from him for months…I’ve covered up why I miss school, and where I go sometimes… Finally the bell rings to signal the end of the morning. I know that Max might think it a little strange if I just up and leave, but the fact is that if I don’t, I’m going to lose my nerve and chicken out. Quickly, I pack away my pens and shove my file into my bag, getting up as soon as the teacher says that we can. I don’t look back and hurry out of the room, making a beeline for the physics laboratory where I know I’m likely to find Ainsling. The bell’s gone of course, but there’s always the possibility that she might still have a class in with her so I have to be careful to keep up appearances, knocking on the door pushing open the door. In truth I don’t know what excuse I’ll give if she is with a class, but I’m hoping she’ll have finished and will be on her own. “Miss Brennan…?”

*MAX*

The morning has gone slowly as I keep trying to figure out what to do. Liz seems to be her normal self, but I know there's something going on. I tried once to intercept Ms. Brennan, but she was talking to another teacher and I really wasn't sure what I would ask her. It'll be easier to stop her after class and talk to her then. She should be more available then.

Finally it comes to be time for lunch. I glance over to give Liz a smile, but she's not even looking in my direction. She's packing up her stuff and practically flies from the room. Does this mean we're not having lunch together?

Well, I guess that solves one question. I had been toying with the B&E idea all morning. Somehow sneaking into Liz's room when she wasn't there to see if I could figure out this odd box and book that I saw in the flash. I know it wasn't her journal, although that, too, might be a good place to look. She never did let me read it to see what dangerous things she'd already written about me. It never occurred to me that it might also contain secrets she hadn't shared about herself.

Still, if she's ditching me for lunch, then maybe I should take advantage of the opportunity. The Crashdown is less than a mile and a half from the school. Close enough to walk if you wanted to, but I don't want to take the time that I might need for my search. I walk outside and get into my jeep.

Of course, Michael suddenly appears and I nearly jump. "Where you going, Maxwell?" he asks.

"I gotta check something out. I'll be back before the end of lunch," I tell him.

"I'm coming with," he says, hopping in.

"Michael, I don't have time for this," I tell him.

"Then you better get moving," he says.

I can tell he's not leaving, so I do as he says and pull out. Michael's eyebrows shoot up as I pull into the alley way besides the Crashdown. "I hate to tell you, but Liz isn't working right now," he says.

I glare at him. "I know. I'm here to check on something while she's gone. Stay here," I tell him. I know he won't, but it's worth a try. I go up the fire escape and let myself into the bedrooms he shares with Serena. Sure enough, Michael is right behind me.

"What are you looking for?" he asks.

"A box," I tell him heading for the closet. "A box and a book."

~*Aisling*~

As the bell rings to finish my last class before lunch I smile and wave them out 'Go on, I know your friends are much more interesting then I am'
As they rush pell-mell to the door I gather my books up and place them tidely on my desk. I get out the lesson plan for the next period and I'm about to head out when there is a tentative knock on the door, and a voice asking for me. It's Liz. A proper student wouldn't waste valuable socialising time and Serena is always slightly more brash in her entrances.

'Come in Liz' I invite.

As her head peeps around the door, cautiously checking the contents of the room I laugh.

'I'm the only one here' I reassure her.

I hop up on my desk so I'm sitting facing her as she makes her way to the front of the room.

'What can I do for you?' I say with a smile, glad she came to find me.

~Liz~

“What can I do for you…?”

Ainsling smiles at me and I take a seat on the edge of the table directly in front of her desk, mirroring her position. Before answering her question, I mutter a quick spell to make sure that any evesdroppers won’t hear what I’m going to say. This done, I look up at Ainsling. Part of me wants to tell her that it doesn’t matter, that I just wanted to say hi, but she knows me well and would probably be able to tell that I’m lying. Besides, I’m only going to be putting off something which has to be discussed anyway… I need to tell Max, I need to be able to be honest with him. I take a deep breath. “I need to talk to you about some stuff…” I trail off, not really sure how to start. I chew my lip for a moment and look down before finally voicing my thoughts. “I want to tell Max the truth…”

~*Aisling*~

I want to tell Max the truth

My heart breaks for Liz sitting there in front of me. She is so innocent and so world weary at the same time. She makes me remember my own struggles at her age with my destiny. I still hate the word, even though I have come to accept it.

My breath comes out in a rush as I search for the words that will make everything ok.

'Oh Liz. I really don't know what to say. What do you want to tell him the truth about exactly? The incident at the Crashdown? You're destiny? All of it?

And how will you protect him afterwards? How will you protect yourself? Or Serena?

You know the rules Liz, I don't need to repeat them for you. I'm sorry, you can't. It isn't safe for you, and even more importantly it isn't safe for him. If you love him you want to protect him, don't you?'

She nods mutely, the tears already shining in her eyes.

She has cried so rarely since I've known her, even about her mother, that I want to give her a chance, or to let her feel she has one at least. She won't accept it otherwise. Like I did, she will fight it, and it will be harder because of that.

'What do you want to do? How could it work Liz? Find a solution and maybe we'll talk about it'

Secretly I pray that she can find an answer where I couldn't.

*MAX*

"A box and a book," I tell Michael when he asks what I'm looking for.

"She hid her journal, Max. Nobody's going to find it. Not even Serena, she said," Michael tells me. I don't know why he seems to be so certain, but I really can't think about that right now.

"Not her journal. At least, I don't think it is," I whisper to Michael. "I saw it in a flash and she refused to explain it. It was - weird." I say. I don't know how to explain seeing the same book in the kitchen with the Physics teacher, or in this room while someperson vanished in a flash of light on the balcony.

I head for the closet but there's a sound at the hall door and doorknob starts to move. I pull Michael back, hiding by the wall behind bathroom door. Mrs. Parker comes in and sets a basket of laundry on Serena's bed. She pulls out one folded stack and lays it on Liz's and leaves the other half on Serena's before taking the empty basket away. She shuts the door behind her and I take a second to remember how to breathe again. That was close.

"I'll get the door," Michael says. I know he's going to try to jam the mechanism so nobody can get in again.

"No," I warn him. "That'll be suspicious. I don't think she'll be back." Michael shrugs and stays with me. Only after I speak do I remember that Liz had said something about sealing the door last night. Maybe her parents have found the door 'locked' before, although there's no lock there.

Shaking my head, I open the closet door. I turn to the left as I saw Liz do in the flash. There are some shelves there, with shoes and various stuff. Right below shoulder hieght is the box. A very old looking wooden box. This is it. It's just like what I saw.

I reach over to grab it and I'm besieged by flashes the instant I touch the box. A hundred images of Liz or Serena pulling this box off the shelf, or simply opening it to remove the book. And each time is filled with strong emotion. Worry, fear, excitement. I know it's important.

I take a breath, realizing that I haven't moved. Michael puts a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say quickly and I pull the box off the shelf, wincing at the small scraping sound it makes. It's a little heavier than I expected it to be, but not too much. I set it on the bed, running my hands over it, just looking for a moment. there are no markings on the box, but it just feels old. "Maybe you better go seal the door," I say slowly.

"But you said - " Michael begins and then shrugs. "whatever." He steps over and does it.

I'm still touching every surface as he returns. I'm not quite sure why. I don't expect another flash, but it's just so strange. There's a leather strap around the box, with a buckle at the front but no sign of any lock.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Michael asks. "I mean, sneaking in and looking through her stuff? She'll be pissed if she finds out."

I shoot him a look of annoyance. Since when is he the voice of rules and reason? "I'm sure," I tell him. This is very important.

OOC: Hope this is ok, I did it over lunch at work when I was rather stressed and needed to calm down and what better way than a bit of writing, right?

~Liz~

“Oh Liz. I really don’t know what to say. What do you want to tell him the truth about exactly? The incident at the Crashodwn? Your destiny? All of it?”

All of it… I don’t actually reply to her question but there’s no doubt in my mind as to what I want to do. Max means too much to me to hide things from him like this. I love him and he’s trusted me with his secret, I want to do the same with mine. I want to say something to this effect to Ainsling but she hasn’t finished yet.

“And how will you protect him afterwards? How will you protect yourself? Or Serena?”

Protect Max…protect Serena… The bit about myself doesn’t really bother me. Ainsling is meaning if Max betrayed my secret and I know he’d never do that. He might be angry, I might lose him because I’ve already kept it from him for so long, but he would never put me in danger by telling people… But at the same time she’s right. Max is already in danger because of who he is, but if I tell him the truth about me, that means that he’s going to be exposed to even more danger. There’s the thing about Serena too…if this were just my secret that would be one thing, but like Max that day when he told me everything, the secret that I’m hiding from him isn’t just mine… “Max would never put me or Serena in danger Ainsling! He’d never do anything that could put us in danger…” I try to convince her. This would be so much simpler if I could tell her the truth about Max…being able to show that he has as much to lose as us might just bring Ainsling round to my way of thinking, to accepting what I want to do… But then, that’s not my secret to give…Telling Maria was one thing, because it was either that or her go to Valenti which I know would have caused way more trouble, but telling Ainsling, that would be betraying Max’s trust, and just as I know he would never do that to me, I’ll never do that to him, however much I might want to…

“You know the rules Liz, I don’t need to repeat them for you. I’m sorry but you can’t. It isn’t safe for you, and even more importantly it isn’t safe for him. If you love him you want to protect him don’t you…”

I nod stiffly without saying anything. I know full well what all the arguments are, I know why I’m not supposed to tell anyone, why I have to keep what I am a secret… And at one time, I would have agreed, but that was before Max… I need to be able to look at him and know that I don’t have to hide the real me from him…I need to show him that I trust him in the way that he trusted me…

Suddenly I feel something wet sliding down my cheek and with a start, I realise that I’m crying. I’m crying…I don’t cry… Well I don’t in public anyway… I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve cried about mom, but I never do it with other people there… Not even with Serena, because I’m the strong one right…? I might also be the younger of the two of us, even if only be a half an hour, but I’ve always been the dependable one, the one who people could rely on… So when Serena’s around, no matter how down I’m feeling, I always try to remain strong, I’m there to give her support when she needs it…

I swallow hard, trying to stop the flow before it fully starts.

“What do you want to do? How could it work Liz? Find a solution and maybe we’ll talk about it…”

I look up at her. “I know that you’re going to say that I’m being silly, but I know that what I’m about to say is true… I love Max… And when I say love, I don’t mean some teenage crush or anything like that…I mean that he is ‘the one’ for me…” I pause a moment, unsure how to continue. “Saying that I want to tell him, it’s not just a whim, or something that I’m rushing into, I’ve kept this from him for months now and it’s eating me up…to know that I’m keeping such a secret, to know that he doesn’t really know who I am truly…” I know that I’m not convincing her, but that doesn’t make me stop. “My dad knew about my mom didn’t he…? Why is this do different…” I shake my head. “I understand that we can’t go round telling everyone that we’re witches, that we have a duty to ‘protect the innocent’…but the people we love, don’t they have a right to know…?” I know that I’m pleading now, but I can’t help it…

~*AISLING*~

“I understand that we can’t go round telling everyone that we’re witches, that we have a duty to ‘protect the innocent’…but the people we love, don’t they have a right to know…?”

I move until I'm sitting beside her so I can see into her eyes more easily and I reach for her hand.

'Liz I have just one question for you: if you tell him, and he doesn't want to be with you anymore, will you still be glad you told him?'

~Liz~

Ainsling reaches for my hand. “Liz, I have just one more question for you: If you tell him, and he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, will you still be glad you told him…”

Wow she’s good…she’s just asked the question that’s been preying on my mind for so long, the question that prevented me from telling him right at the start… Yes, I know that I said I hadn’t because of the danger, and the fact that it wasn’t just my secret, but if I’m honest I know that the biggest thing was that I was worried that I’d lose Max… Even then, I’d already fallen under his spell… I take a deep breath. “I can’t say for certain…” I finally reply after a moment. My voice is a little shakey as I continue. “…but I know that even if he breaks up with me, he’ll keep our secret, and I’m scared that if I continue to hide this from him, he’s going to find out one day and hate me for having kept it a secret for so long…” I take a breath. “You said before that if I loved him, I’d want to keep him safe, well I do…and you know as well as I do, him being with me without knowing…he’s already in danger because he’s with me… Anyone that wants to hurt me, or harm someone I love, it doesn’t take much to find out who he is…” I bite my lower lip and look down at the floor. “I just don’t want to have to lie to him anymore…I want to know that this secret isn’t going to come between us later…if he’s going to break up with me because of it, don’t you see that it would be so much harder for me the longer we’ve been together?”