Persistence of Memory (CC ALL,TEEN) (Complete)

[cardinalgirl]

Part 11

Kyle had been having a good day. First there had been his genius moments with Isabel that morning, and then his interview had gone really well—he’d be working as a photographer and graphic consultant in a new magazine company starting Monday—it really wasn‘t as glamorous as it sounded, as he was really being hired as a gopher, but he‘d gotten used to playing this game. With the right attitude he’d be promoted in no time.

To celebrate he’d gone exploring the streets around their apartment building. He’d gotten himself lunch from one of those a la carte deals that spotted the streets, and had just finished his hot dog when out of the corner of his eye, he caught the image of a petite blonde woman holding hands with a kid and walking into the McDonald’s a little down the street.

Kyle suddenly felt sick. Looking back, he shook his head at himself as the two disappeared into the building. That had almost looked like Tess. But that was ridiculous. Tess was dead.

Kyle threw the remnants of his soda in a nearby trashcan, annoyed. If there was one subject Kyle avoided talking, hearing, or even thinking about, that subject was Tess Harding. Her name alone was enough to kill a good mood.

Because the name came with all the memories. The memories of those blue eyes. Of the first time the Valenti fridge had been organized since his mom had left. Of losing to Max Evans. Again.

The memories of the weeks that summer after she’d left, when he’d find himself sitting for hours wondering how he could have been so stupid. Because he’d fallen in love with her for a while there. What kind of person falls in love with a killer?

But Kyle pulled himself back to reality. Liz had seen Tess walk into that army base. There was no way that Tess had made it out of that alive. Was there?

He debated for a few moments, but he didn‘t really have a choice about it, did he? Feeling like a stalker, he headed towards the McDonald’s. If there was any possible way that that was Tess, he had to find out. He had to tell the others.

By the time he got there the two were already sitting down with their food. It took a few moments for him to get a clear view, but when he did he felt like he’d been sucker punched. It hadn’t been a trick of the eye. The woman inside was definitely the one he’d known before. In another life. The sick feeling in his stomach increased. What the hell did that mean?

He knew what it meant. It meant she had tricked them again. Once the disbelief passed, Kyle could feel his blood beginning to boil. Their lives had been going good. They hadn’t had any problems, hadn’t had anybody to worry about, and here their worst nightmare was walking straight back into their lives.

What the hell are you doing here?

He saw her tense, and suddenly realized that he’d sent her the thought. Kyle growled in frustration. Usually somebody only got a thought from him if he intentionally sent it to them, but when he was really upset or angry, his thoughts tended to jump without his consent. It was really annoying.

He couldn’t help liking that she was suddenly nervous, though. She went back talking to the kid, though. Wait a second—kid?

Kyle stared at the little boy. He wasn’t too sure about kids and ages and all, but that kid could definitely pass as ten or so. Which meant that that had to be Max’s son. What did she think she was doing with Max’s son? How did she find him? And did she what, just nab him from his adoptive parents, or what?

She was glancing around the room, nervously, and he realized she was probably ready to bolt. But he needed more information. And he needed back-up. Which meant that he’d have to stall her. Maybe if he made it clear to her that she was being watched she’d stay put.

We thought you were dead. Or was that just a mindwarp too?

She seemed to shrink a little, as she looked around the room once more, and he thought he saw her inch closer to the little boy—Zan. It had to be.

Something in the back of his mind was telling him it wasn’t right for him to be doing this, toying with her. But she’d done so many things that weren’t right in her time that he just didn’t care.

He was actually kind of liking it.

We fell for your act last time, but don’t even think about trying to pull something. We won‘t underestimate you again.

Finally she turned her head directly towards him. He couldn’t help one side of his mouth turning up in a smile when her eyes widened in shock. She hadn’t been expecting him to be the one to find her, he supposed.

Surprise, Tess. Yep, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve too, now. You’re lucky we’re in public.

He was surprised when she didn’t react to that, just continued staring at him. The little boy was pulling at her arm, asking her something, but she didn’t seem to hear.

The way she was looking at him now was odd. Like she was almost judging him. Like she was waiting for him to give something away.

I think it’s time we went, don’t you? You’ve got some old friends to catch up with. I’ve got to say, Max isn’t going to be happy when he finds out you’ve got his son, though.

To his surprise, she took the boys hand, said something to him, and got up, heading to the door.

As soon as she was through the door, he grabbed onto her arm. He saw her flinch, and he loosened his grip slightly.

“Is this really necessary? I was going to come willingly.”

He didn’t even hear, her, though. Instead he was being attacked by a rush of images that hit him so hard he stumbled.

He saw her seeing the boy for the first time, a home in the sewers, staring at her acceptance letter to Yale, wishing she had someone to tell about it, carefully removing the four-square tattoo on her arm—

He pulled himself out of the connection and glared down at the woman next to him, as a memory flared into life in the back of his head. Something about a punk set of aliens in New York—somehow he’d never given it enough thought to realize that it had meant there had been a carbon copy of the murderous alien witch wandering around somewhere. “You’re not Tess,” he said, almost accusingly.

“No, I’m not, and you’re hurting me,” she said, shrugging him off.

Kyle stared at her. “I…” but he gave up. He didn’t have anything to say to her.

“Are you really going to take us to meet Max?” the little boy suddenly asked.

Kyle was surprised at the question. He’d almost forgotten the kid was there. Instead of answering him, though, he glanced at the Tess-double. “Is this Max’s son? How long have you had him? What did you do to his parents?”

Her bravado seemed to be crumbling under his questions, and rightfully too, he thought. “I didn’t do anything to his parents. They were killed in a car accident.”

“Yeah, that tends to be your convenient cover-up, doesn’t it?”

“Excuse me? What are you talking about?” He could feel her incredulity, and the fear that it was covering.

“Just something your dear twin taught us,” he said, his voice acid.

“Listen… I don’t know what Tess was like,” she said, thinking back to the one time she’d met the girl. “But I swear to you, I’m not your enemy.”

Kyle had been pulling the two along at a quick pace, so that she had to walk quickly to keep up with him, and the little boy had to almost run, but now he stopped, and finally looked the kid in the eye. It was the first good look he’d had of the boy, and he was amazed at the resemblance. He had Max’s eyes, just like little Alex, only his hair was a much lighter, almost a dirty-blonde, and a little curly. There was no mistaking that this was Max and Tess’ child.

Now he looked at him solemnly. “Has this lady hurt you, done anything to you?” he asked, seriously. “Don’t be afraid, you can tell me.”

The boy looked at him like he was crazy, and as he had previously been only holding onto Tess’ double’s hand, he now pulled himself under her arm, wrapping his one arm around her. “Ava didn’t do anything wrong. She didn’t do anything to me, she didn’t even make me do anything. She asked me if I wanted her to be my mom, and I told her I did.”

Kyle was at a loss. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said, talking to the little boy, but speaking to both of them. “We just… Tess wasn’t a good person.” It was all he would say in front of Zan. If he’d had… Ava alone, though…

They were pretty close to the apartment by now, and as they started walking again, Kyle pulled out his cell phone. “Hey, Liz? Tell Max we need a family conference. Now.”

[cardinalgirl]

Part 12

“And that’s all he said? Family conference?” Maria demanded. She was the last person to get over to the Evans’ apartment, and it was the fourth time some variation of that question had been asked.

“Yes,” Liz replied wearily. “That’s all he said.”

“Well why don’t you call him back, ask him?”

“Maria, he’ll be here any minute,” Isabel replied, who’d been the first over from the other apartment, and could feel both her nerves and her annoyance-level rising. Over the years they’d been lucky enough to get out of the habit of fearing for their lives on a daily basis, but there had always been a caution in the back of their heads, and they all knew that one mistake, one wrong move and they would be thrown straight back into that world.

So a random call from Kyle demanding a family conference… this couldn’t be good.

“Maybe…” Maria was biting her lip. “Maybe he’s doing one of those things where somebody sets you up for really bad news and then it’s good… Maybe he’s just pulling our leg so he can come in and announce that he got the job or something.”

Isabel shook her head. “He did get the job. He was in here earlier when you and Michael went out for lunch.”

Maria sat down on the arm of the couch, disappointed. “Oh… okay.”

Michael ran a hand through his hair. “That’s it. Liz, call him ba—” He was cut off by the sound of a knock, and five pairs of eyes turned to stare as the door opened.

Kyle raised an amused eyebrow at the expectant crowd. “Well… we almost have enough for a party. He met each person’s eyes, as if evaluating what their reactions might be. “I brought some friends.”

The last word was said with so much sarcasm that the rest of the group found themselves glancing at each other in confusion.

Kyle glanced back to the opened doorway, which still stood empty. “C’mon, c’mon, your adoring crowd awaits.”

Liz flinched at his tone. She’d been on the receiving end of Kyle’s angry sarcasm, and it was not a good memory. “Kyle, I don’t understand. What’s going on…”

Liz’s voice faded out as two people stepped into the apartment. An incredibly familiar blonde woman was standing nervously, with a mostly unfamiliar little boy holding tightly to her hand.

Liz felt faint. Tess. Tess had come back and now she had Zan and she was going to take Max away from her again. It was a stupid, irrational thought, but she couldn’t stop it from running through her mind. As if he’d sensed her sudden weakness, Max made his way to her side quickly, wrapping an arm around her waist. His touch sent warm tendrils of comfort throughout her body, but she couldn’t stop staring at the pair that had walked in the door. She heard Michael swear loudly, while Maria started a barrage of questions. She knew that Isabel and Max were both staring at her horrified expression, wondering what to say, but she locked eyes with the blonde in front of her.

The woman looked like she was barely keeping up a brave front, and Liz could see that she was scared to death… Liz swallowed, tried to speak, but the blonde beat her to it.

“Hey, cornball.”

It was the last thing Liz heard before blacking out.

*************

“Liz. Liz, sweeting, wake up.”

Max watched as Liz blinked herself back to consciousness. Meanwhile, Michael was yelling in the background. “What the hell? Tess, what did you do?”

“Are you okay?” Max asked her, touching her face and kissing her temple tenderly. For a moment Max allowed himself to concentrate entirely on her, but he knew he had to step up as leader for the moment. It still wasn’t a role he enjoyed or sought after, but it did seem to naturally fall to him most of the time. Once Liz assured him she was alright, Max was all business.

First he turned on Michael, giving him an open, honest look. “She didn’t do anything, Michael. Liz just fainted. And she’s not Tess.”

“Wait. What do you mean she’s not Tess? Max, how do you know?” Maria demanded, as she took over his station at Liz’s side.

“Because Tess is dead,” he said, announcing it to everyone in his best the-king-has-spoken voice. Not that he’d ever really considered himself a king. “I know she’s dead because I felt her die. Through the four-square.”

“But Max, if you felt her die, why didn’t we?” Isabel asked.

Max shrugged. “You probably did but you weren’t paying attention. It was more clear to me because I was the most connected to her.” He gave an apologetic glance at Liz, but she didn’t seem to be incredibly concerned about what they were talking about.

Max realized she was staring at the little boy. Max had resisted looking at the boy up to this point, but now he couldn’t help turning his own eyes to look at him.

Alex Evans was in his room drawing, and it didn’t take more than one look for Max to be certain that he was staring at Alex’s half-brother.

“So what, Max, you’re just okay with this?” Kyle asked, infuriated. It snapped Max out of his shock.

“Okay with it?” Instead of responding to Kyle, Max turned on Ava. “What are you doing with my son?”

Ava blinked at his suddenly harsh voice. “I… Max…”

“This is my son, isn’t it?” he questioned.

“Yes, it is. If you’ll let me explain…”

“Try it,” Max ordered. He felt guilty immediately when the boy flinched at his harsh tone, but he couldn’t back down just yet. He had to see what this Ava was about.

“Max, Zachary—that’s his name, Zac—his adoptive parents were killed in a car accident three years ago. I’ve been working at the Museum of Modern Art, and he was in one of the tours to the museum. Max, he remembered me. Or, Tess, rather.”

Max shook his head. “That’s impossible.”

“Max, I know that you wanted your son to have a normal life, but it’s not possible. He’s not normal, Max.”

Max looked at her disbelievingly. “How is that even possible? Tess told me that he was completely human. That’s why they wouldn’t accept him as an heir.”

Ava shrugged. “They had faulty logic then. He is completely human. But then so are Liz and Kyle. Any son of yours would be completely human, Max. The only thing that separates us from the changed humans is essences of our former selves written into human DNA.

“But an advanced human DNA,” Michael suddenly commented from across the room. “She’s right. Remember Maxwell? Something Nasedo said. Our powers are completely human. He’s human Max, but he’s advanced like the rest of us.”

“Exactly,” Ava agreed.

Max let that information sink in, and then he finally allowed himself to focus on his son.

He looked down at the boy, knowing Zac had been staring at him for some time now. “Zachary… it’s nice to meet you.”

Zachary was watching him steadily. He didn’t say anything for a moment, and when he spoke it was only three words. “I remember you.”

Max was shocked. “How? How do you remember me?”

Zac frowned at him. “Don’t you know? You made me remember you.”

And then Max remembered. Almost timidly, Max reached a hand out towards Zac, brushing his fingers over the boy’s forehead, touching his light brown curls. Suddenly the mark Max had left on baby Zan’s brain glowed in the air. He’d gotten the idea from the meeting with the emissary he’d had when he’d been stupid enough to follow Rath and Lannie to New York in the first place.

Max was staring at his son, amazed. His son… for all that he’d said to Liz, he’d never truly believed that they’d find him, or that he’d have any chance at really being part of his life if they did.

“Max…?”

He turned to look at Isabel. “Yeah?”

“I hate to ruin your reunion, but maybe Zac should go meet Alexander. I think the adults need to talk. You wanna come with me, Zac?”

Zac looked a little wary, and he looked up at Ava, who nodded, smiling her encouragement. Finally, Zac nodded too, and followed Isabel.

*************

The room was silent until Max’s sister, Isabel, came back into the room. Ava swallowed, moving from one foot to the other for a moment as the whole of the Roswell gang stared back at her. She realized that there was someone missing. That wiry guy. She turned her eyes to Isabel. “So what happened to Opie?”

Isabel looked confused, but her expression quickly turned cold. “His name was Alex.”

“Yeah, and you’re sweet, sweet double killed him,” Kyle cut in. She was surprised his eyes weren’t actually cutting her, that she wasn’t actually bleeding from how he was looking at her.

Ava felt the bottom of her world drop out when she’d processed what he’d said. No wonder he’d been so hostile to her. She felt like she was going to be sick. Tess had actually killed someone? Did that mean she was capable of killing someone?

“I’m… I’m so sorry,” Ava whispered, still directing her words to Isabel. She blinked the sudden tears out of her eyes. “I can’t believe…”

“Yeah, well it happened, so believe it.”

“Kyle! Give her a break, all right?” The sudden outburst was from Liz, and everyone turned, surprised at what she’d said.

“Liz, this woman has the exact same DNA of a woman who murdered your best friend. If you want to take it easy on her, go ahead, but I’m not going to.”

Liz looked like she was about to respond, but Max cut her off, again addressing Ava. “How long have you had my son?”

Ava saw Liz flinch slightly at that. She realized it must have been the biggest betrayal Liz had ever felt, knowing that Max had a child with the woman who was presumably her worst enemy.

“I’ve known him for about three months now… I adopted him about a month ago.”

Max looked surprised at that. “Adopted him?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t know if I would ever find you, and I knew that he couldn’t grow up on his own. It was hard enough for me growing up and I had Zan, Rath and Lannie.”

Max nodded, and she could tell that he knew exactly what she was talking about. From all she could remember, his group had known even less about their past lives than she and the others had.

Ava glanced around the room then, unable to meet Max’s gaze as she prepared herself for what she had to say. “Max, I just have to say one thing, first… I know that he’s not my son. I know that I’m not technically his mother… but he is Avillia’s son.”

“Avillia?”

Ava nodded. “That’s what her name was… My… predecessor. Villandra, Sedrath, Zanathan and Avillia… Anyhow… he is Avillia’s son, like I said. And so I can’t help but feel… And I of course wouldn’t ever stop you from—” Ava shook her head. “What I mean is… I know that now you’ve found him, you’ll probably want Zac with you. I don’t have any real claim to him now that he’s found you. I just…” she trailed off, not sure she could even say it.

“Ava, we’re not going to take your son away from you.” Again everyone looked in surprise at Liz. Until she had spoken no one had any idea where Ava had been going with her little speech.

Ava’s eyes met Liz’s in a grateful, but unsure look. “Thank you for saying that, Liz, but I’m not so sure everyone thinks that.”

“Ava, you adopted him. He’s legally yours. I don’t think Max would want to draw any unnecessary attention to us by trying to sue you for his son.” Liz looked at Max, as if daring him to argue with her.

“Liz is right,” Max said. “I obviously can’t just take him from you. But I would like to know him. I want us all to know him.”

“We should all know you, too, Ava,” Liz continued for him.

“Wait a second, that’s up for debate,” Maria said, gaining an “Amen” from Kyle and a nod from Isabel, which outraged Liz. Pulling away from Maria, Liz went to stand by Ava.

“Am I the only person in this room who remembers the first time we met Ava? She’s not on trial here. She proved to us a long time ago that she was on our side. I mean, she betrayed her family for us.”

When Isabel spoke it was not in a confrontational voice, simply a sad one. “Liz, it’s just… we did trust Tess.”

Liz sighed, knowing that this was in no way going to be easy. After all, out of all of them, she should be the one fighting this the hardest. Tess had been her worst enemy, if nothing else. To everyone else she had been a nightmare, but to Liz she had been the embodiment of her deepest emotional wounds and fears. And here Liz was defending her double, a woman who was technically and biologically the same person. But Liz knew in her heart that Ava was worth it.

“Well, I’m going to ask you to trust me, then,” Liz said, looking around the room slowly and meeting every person’s eyes. “Trust me when I say that Ava is a good person.”

The room was silent for a moment, but no one disagreed with her. By unspoken agreement, or maybe just a lack of knowing what to say, the conference was adjourned, and people started to leave, until Ava and Liz were left in the room alone.

Finally Ava spoke. “Liz… why do you do that? Why did you stand up for me?”

Liz just looked at her old friend and shrugged. “Ava, I have to admit, seeing you like this… looking exactly like her… it’s hard. But I know you. I know that you’re not like her.”

Ava shook her head. “How do you know that?”

Liz took a deep breath. “Because you made a choice. When you left Rath and Lannie and started a new life… that was a choice that Tess never would have made. She didn’t have anything other than her ‘destiny.’ But you’re different. You’re stronger than that.”

Ava wasn’t sure if Liz was right. After all, she’d only left Rath and Lannie after Zan, her “destiny” had been killed. “I hope I can prove you right, Liz. To all of them.”

Liz smiled at her. “You will.”

[cardinalgirl]

Part 13

“Alexander?” Little Alex looked up from where he was hard at work creating his newest masterpiece for his mom’s collection.

“Hi Aunt Izzy!” Alex smiled at his aunt and the boy who was with her. He was older, but he looked nice.

“Alexander, this is Zachary…”

“Spencer,” Zac supplied, looking up at Isabel. “My name’s Zachary Spencer now ‘cause that’s Mom’s name.”

Isabel couldn’t help but smile. She was starting to absorb the fact that this little boy, Tess’ son… was also her nephew. And she had to admit he was an absolutely adorable one.

Isabel turned her attention back to Alexander, knowing that he liked being treated seriously, like an adult. “Is it okay if Zac stays in here with you while the grown-ups talk?”

Alexander agreed cheerfully and Isabel made her way back to the meeting, closing the door behind her. Alex knew the boy across the room from him was nervous, and so he stood up and walked over to the boy, offering his hand like he’d seen adults do when they met.

“Hi. I’m Alex. Aunt Izzy always calls me Alexander because it makes her sad to call me Alex, but you can.”

Zac frowned as he shook the smaller boy’s hand. “It makes her sad?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. Mommy told me once there was another Alex before I was born, and he was everybody’s best friend, and Aunt Izzy loved him, but he died, and Aunt Izzy can’t call me Alex ‘cause it reminds her.” He paused for a moment, but smiled. “She still loves me lots and lots, though, so it’s okay.”

Zac couldn’t help but smile. “Well, you can call me Zac. Or Zachary, doesn’t matter. And we’re gonna be friends, Alex. You know how I can tell?” Alex gave him a questioning look, and Zac smiled. “Because I’m special, like you.”

Alex stared at him for a moment. He’d never met any kids special like him before. And then understanding hit him. “It’s you!” he said, happily.

Zac looked confused. “What’s me?”

Alex was happy to explain. “Daddy’s been missing you for a long time. I don’t think I’m supposed to know, but it makes him really sad, especially at night. Are you gonna stay with us? That way he doesn’t have to be sad anymore!”

Zac beamed, knowing Max had missed him so long. But then he remembered his promise to Ava. Zac shrugged. “I dunno. I’m with my mom, and your dad might not want her around.”

Alex frowned. “That doesn’t sound like my daddy.”

Zac shrugged, really not sure what to say anymore.

“You know how I know we’re gonna be friends?” Alex asked.

Zac shook his head. “How?”

Alex smiled. “Because you’ve got Daddy’s eyes, just like me.”

*************

Ava and Zac didn’t stay long that day, as Ava didn’t want to be too much of an intrusion, but Ava and Liz went over a few things first. After finding out exactly how close Ava and Zac lived, it didn’t come as much of a surprise when they found out that Zac was going to the same school Alex would be enrolled in. It was decided that Liz—whose book deal allowed her to work at home—would take the kids to and from school, and that Zac would stay with them while Ava was at work, so he wouldn’t have to be all alone in their apartment.

When the two women went in to check on the boys, and tell Zac it was time to go, they were surprised to find papers scattering the floor and the two boys deep in play, Alex having abandoned his drawing in order to join Zac in adventuring.

“Watch out, Mom!” Alex cried from the bed when she opened the door. “You can only walk on the papers, ‘cause everything else is lava and you’ll die!”

Liz’s laughed softly. “So you and Zac are having a good time, huh?” she asked, glancing at Zac who was carefully making his way to the bed.

“Yeah, it’s been great,” Alex said.

Liz smiled. “That’s good, honey, but I’m afraid Zac’s got to go home now.”

“Aw, really?”

“Yep, sorry. Wanna say hi to Ava? This is Zac’s mom.”

“Hi Ava!”

Ava smiled back at the boy. He was so adorable. “Hi, Alex. Now come on, Zac, we’ve still got some errands to run, okay?”

Liz and Alex saw Ava and Zac out. Max, who had stayed out of the way while Liz and Ava had talked, now took the opportunity to emerge. “Liz, this won’t be easy,” he said, without preamble.

Liz sighed. “Max, we can’t just turn her away. She’s been alone for the past ten years, Max. I mean, the other night, when you were thanking me for being here with you because you always thought you’d grow up alone on the road. Max, that’s what she’s been doing.”

Max looked hesitant. “I know that, Liz. I do. But I mean, Kyle’s got a point, too. She and Tess are genetically the same person.”

Liz sighed again, frustrated. “She saved your life, Max.”

He touched her cheek. “You saved my life, Liz.”

But Liz shook her head. “I never could have done it without Ava. I never even would have thought of it, and we barely made it as it was.” When he didn’t have a comeback to that, Liz continued. “And did you hear what she’s been doing? She’s really made something of herself. She went to college… I mean, she’s working at one of the most famous museums in the world, and they asked her there.”

Max sighed, leaning into his wife so that they touched foreheads. “I’m not saying I’m not going to try, Liz. I am really, really going to try. I mean… I know that you trust her, and I trust you. I know that you’re following your heart here. I’m just saying that it’s not going to be easy.”

Liz gave him a sad smile. “I know. But thank you for trying.”

*************

Kyle lay in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling. He’d gone to bed early, around ten, but he’d spent more than an hour trying to fall asleep.

He hated logic. Despised it. Because logic told him that he should trust Liz. That he should trust the woman he’d basically kidnapped off of the streets earlier that morning.

But he couldn’t. He could barely even attribute that woman with the name Ava. She was Tess. She was simply another incarnation of Tess.

But then what about that connection? He could feel it, there were still bits of impressions of Ava Spencer touching the edge of his consciousness. And she seemed sorry that Tess had hurt everyone. She seemed sorry that she was forced to remind them of everything Tess had done. It was stupid, he couldn’t explain it, but it really pissed him off that she was sorry. She wasn’t supposed to be sorry. She wasn’t supposed to feel anything. She was supposed to be just like Tess. He remembered something he’d said to Tess once. “Of all the aliens I’ve met… you’re the only one who has no soul.”

There was this part in the back of his mind that was arguing that Ava did have a soul. He’d felt all those things she’d felt in those flashes…

But he clamped down on the dissenting voice. He couldn’t put his guard down. Because that’s what happened with Tess. She’d been the only one of the four that he hadn’t mistrusted at the beginning. Of the four, he had definitely been the closest to Tess at the beginning. Great judge of character, wasn’t he? He smirked at himself at the thought, then let out a low growl of frustration.

Why’d you have to be here? Why’d you have to look like her?

And suddenly he could feel her. It was just a slight stirring at first, and then there was a timid voice. I’m sorry…

Kyle sat up and threw his pillow against the wall. His powers were going crazy and that pissed him off, too. He didn’t want her to be sorry, he wanted her to leave him and his thoughts alone.

Get out! Get out of my head, he warned, and he could feel her retreating, stricken.

Kyle’s hands balled into fists and he wanted to hit something, but he was thrown off when there was a slight knock at his door, and it was opening, spilling a rectangle of light into his room.

Maria stood in the doorway, looking slightly worried. “Kyle, I’m so sorry, I know you’ve been trying to sleep, but have do you have any idea where Isabel is?”

Kyle frowned, not liking the way Maria nervously pulled at her necklace. “Isn’t she in her room?”

Maria shook her head. “She went for a walk after the conference to get some air, probably clear her head, and she hasn’t been back in.”

Kyle tried to let Maria’s words sink in. “Why don’t you call her on her cell?”

Maria shook her head. “It’s sitting on her bed... Kyle, she’s missing.”

[cardinalgirl]

Part 14

Isabel flicked away the tear that had slipped down her cheek, impatiently. She shivered. It was getting cold, but she didn’t want to go down just yet. Manhattan was an impressive view at night, to be sure, but Isabel could hardly appreciate it. There were lights of every color surrounding her, but she wished against wish that somehow they would all just turn off.

A sudden noise startled the silence around her, and she turned to see her brother emerging from the stairwell. She could feel his relief the moment he saw her, and it was nice. She didn’t remember the last time Max had felt anything towards her that strong.

Seeing that she had her arms wrapped around herself, Max pulled his jacket off and set it around her shoulders. “You had us scared to death, Iz.”

She knew he was about to reprobate her, but he relented when he saw the tears in her eyes. He pulled out his cell phone and called Liz, explaining that they were on the roof and she was fine, and then he gave his full attention to his sister, realizing he hadn’t done it in a long time. “What’s up?” he asked, gently, searching her eyes for some clue.

Isabel sniffed, and turned back to the landscape, glancing at the city and then the sky. “Do you ever think back to those trips out to the desert when we were kids, Max? We’d toast marshmallows and tell stories and it seemed like we could see every single star in the sky…”

She trailed off, and Max followed her gaze to the darkness above them, where only a handful of stars could be seen that had outshone the city and the haze. Not knowing what to say, he rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. The stars had always represented hope to them as children. Phillip and Diane Evans gave them a home, but the stars were always what made them feel safe in those first years.

After a few moments of silence, Max studied his sister. “What brought this up, Iz?”

Isabel bit her lip, not sure exactly what to tell him. She didn’t want to tell him the real reason, that it was the anniversary of the Father’s Campout in Frazier Woods. When they were children, the stars had represented safety to Isabel, which was something she shared with Max, but since that night, the stars had always reminded her of Alex, and she’d wanted to somehow be closer to him tonight.

“I just… wanted to see if I could find our constellation, was all,” she finally mumbled. Isabel had never really cared all that much about the V-constellation, though, really. Earth had always been her home, and Max knew that.

He let it slide, though, and Isabel was grateful. Max continued to watch his sister for several moments, not knowing what to say to her, until an idea occurred to him. “This thing with Jesse…” He saw her stiffen, and assumed that he’d guessed correctly on what was upsetting her. “I mean, you’ll probably end up running into him at some point, and I know you’ll have to deal with that alone… But Iz, I just want you to know that I’ll be here to support you no matter what happens. We all will.”

Tears came to Isabel’s eyes once more, but this time they were tears of gratitude. Jesse had not been what had been upsetting her, but of course that thought was there, in the background. It was always there. “Thank you. Thank you for saying that, Max,” she smiled at him gratefully.

He looked at her sincerely. “Izzy, I know that life gets in the way sometimes. With work and Liz and a six-year-old and everything… not to mention unexpected surprises like we got today. But I want you to know that you can always come to me about things. We’ve been drifting apart for a long time, Iz, and I don’t want that to happen. But I get so wrapped up in things sometimes…” He shook his head, not sure how to go on at first. He took a breath. “And I know that life’s been hard on you… I just… I want to see you happy again, Isabel. I miss that. I mean… you’re my sister. I love you.”

Isabel smiled mistily at her brother. It wasn’t exactly the type of comfort she was looking for tonight, but it was definitely welcomed. “I love you too, Max,” she said, hugging him tightly.

Max quirked a smile at her. “Love me enough to come inside with me?” he teased, and she nodded, laughing as they went inside.

*************

When Isabel was back in her room, after calming everyone’s worries about her, she got ready for bed quickly, and was just about to snuggle into bed when a voice behind her interrupted the silence in her room.

“So I guess Max earned some nice brother brownie points there, huh?”

Isabel’s heart caught in her throat for a moment before she turned around, but when she did, her heart sunk again. He was back to the long-sleeved blue shirt and black jeans.

“Alex… how did you know that?” she asked, trying not to let her disappointment sound in her voice. There had been a part of her that had been holding onto the hope that dream had meant something, that it had been real somehow.

Alex pointed to himself and grinned. “Part of your subconscious, remember? I see pretty much everything you see.”

Isabel sighed. “About that. I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask you about it or anything, but… I have to. Alex, that dream. I don’t understand why you could give me a dream like that only to not have it mean anything. I mean… I guess I’m just confused. Could you help me here?” Isabel sat down on her bed, staring at the image of her long lost friend who seemed to be leaning against her dresser.

Alex sighed, then, looking almost indecisive. That was new. Usually she asked a question and he gave her an answer. Even if it was an “I can’t tell you,” or “I don’t really know,” answer, it was immediate and objective. Now he seemed to be stalling, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Alex, what is it?” she asked, suddenly nervous.

Alex shrugged. “I don’t really know what to say…”

“Don’t know what to say? Alex you played me that song and asked me to wait for you. How could you not know what that would do to me?” she demanded, tears springing to her eyes again at the thought.

“Hey, hey…” he said, soothingly, moving towards her and touching her face. “I’m sorry, Izzy, I am. But I can’t tell you the reasoning behind that dream.”

“Why not?” she asked, disbelievingly.

He sighed. “Because it wasn’t me.”

She pulled back, giving him a look. “What do you mean it wasn’t you, Alex? I saw you. I was there.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I saw me too. But it wasn’t me. You saw Alex Whitman playing the guitar for you, not me.”

Hearing that Isabel stood up and began to pace. “What exactly is that supposed to mean?” she asked, glancing at him.

He shrugged. “I don’t really know what it means. All I know is that that wasn’t me that gave you that dream.”

“What does that mean? Did it come from me? Or… or are you saying…”

“I don’t know where it came from, Isabel.”

She stopped pacing and faced him, arms folded across her chest. “That’s not good enough.” Alex just laughed at her, lightly, and she realized she was being a little ridiculous. She sighed, a slightly embarrassed smile tugging at her own lips. She sat down next to him again. “Can you help me at all?”

He shrugged, looking at her sorrowfully. “I really don’t know, Isabel. I mean, I know it didn’t come from me, but I’m only part of your subconscious. And I can’t really answer for the rest of it because it’s subconscious. They don’t let me know everything that goes on in there. Or rather, you don’t,” he grinned at her.

“Wait,” she said, frowning. “Does that mean there’s more than one of you running around in my brain?”

Alex chuckled, but when he answered her it was serious. “It’s possible, Iz. I mean, there’s of course your memory of Alex, and everything you knew him to be,” he said, counting on his fingers, “and then there’s everything you imagine and expect Alex to be, and then there’s the hopes that you had for Alex. And then there’s me, a part of your subconscious that you pretend is Alex because you’re still not ready to let him go in some ways.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “So there’s four Alex’s in my head?”

He grinned. “Hey, don’t blame me. I’m just a figment of your imagination.”

“And there’s still a chance that it could be real. I mean, from Alex, not from me at all. Right?”

Alex’s grin faded. “Honestly, I have no idea, Iz. I don’t want to tell you something just to get your hopes up.”

Isabel laid back on the bed, keeping her feet on the floor, and sighed. “I’m confused,” she said, flatly.

Alex laughed softly as he looked down at her. It didn’t sound quite right, somehow. She was afraid that she was beginning to forget what he sounded like.

“Maybe you should just wait it out,” he suggested.

She rolled her eyes. “Wait it out? Wait what out? I don’t even know if it was real or not!”

He shrugged. “So give it some time. Try not to worry about it.”

“Easier said than done.”

“So what do you think about Ava?” he asked.

She frowned. “Don’t change the subject.”

“Isabel, usually when I show up there’s some sort of reason, right?”

She nodded, not sure where this was going.

“Well this time my whole point for being here is to change the subject. You’ve been obsessing about this dream for weeks, Iz, and it’s getting you nowhere. You need to take a step back and let whatever is going to happen happen.” She absorbed that for a moment, and when she didn’t respond, he went on. “What did you think of Ava?” he repeated, gently.

From where she lay she shrugged slightly. “She seems nice… but…” she sighed. “What did you think of Ava?” she returned.

Alex laughed again. “I think she seems nice, too. What was your ‘but’ for?”

Isabel sighed and sat up to face him. “Alex, Tess killed you.”

One side of his mouth went up in a smile. “This may come as a surprise to you, but I know that, Isabel. We’re talking about Ava.”

“Well excuse me if I’m having trouble separating the two,” she said, annoyed. “I mean, they’re the same, aren’t they?”

“No, they’re not.”

Isabel frowned at Alex’s calm voice. “What do you mean they’re not?”

“What do you mean they are?” he challenged, but he didn’t give her the chance to answer. Instead he asked her another question. “Were you and Lannie the same?”

She shrugged, slightly annoyed. “Weren’t we?”

He gave her an incredulous look. “No, Isabel, you weren’t. I mean, she was a killer.”

Isabel gave a short bark of a laugh. “Well, I was too,” she said harshly, thinking back to Whittaker and suddenly feeling dirty somehow.

Alex frowned at her, and seemed almost disappointed. “Don’t you dare even equate the two, Isabel,” he said slowly. “What you did was in self-defense against an evil conspiracy-filled alien. Lannie killed her own brother and tried to kill yours too. It’s a little different.”

Isabel bit her lip. “So you’re saying I should give Ava a chance.”

He nodded. “Could you please? For me?”

She smiled, soflty. “Yeah, I think I can do that. Kyle might kill me, but I think I can do that.”

He smiled. “Thank you, Isabel,” he said, leaning in and kissing her on the forehead. “Goodnight, now.” And then he was gone again.

[cardinalgirl]

AN: Mood music for this part... Vertical Horizon - Finding Me


Part 15

It was decided that Isabel would try for Alex, Max and Maria would try for Liz, and Michael, by turn, would try for Maria. Of course, Michael was not incredibly bothered about it either way. To Michael Ava, like anyone else, would be trusted as far as she deserved. At first it would be not at all, but if she could show herself worthy of trust, she would be trusted.

Isabel tried for Alex and found that not only did Ava have the same culinary tastes that she’d had in common with Tess, but they also had similar tastes in books and movies. For the first time in a long time Isabel allowed herself to remember just how excited she’d been when she’d first met Tess. It had been her first and last real shot at a real, normal friendship with a girl. Of course, she loved Liz and Maria like sisters, but the two of them had had a bond long before they’d gotten to know Isabel, and there were times when she just didn’t fit into the mix. As their interests continued to coincide, she couldn’t help but admit that she was beginning to hope that Ava could be the friend Isabel had wanted in Tess.

Max tried for Liz, but it wasn’t quite so easy for him at first. In looking like Tess, Ava represented the embodiment of all the worst mistakes Max had ever made, all the faults he had been trying to overcome for the past ten years. Max’s redemption for the things he did to Liz especially, and to Michael and Isabel to a lesser degree, would never be completely fulfilled, and Ava was a reminder of that. Still, this woman had virtually saved his son, and he had to be grateful for that. And like Liz repeatedly reminded him, Ava was the main reason that he himself had survived an attempt at fratricide by Lannie and Rath.

It took him a few weeks to even trust himself to be in the same room with Ava, but after he assured himself that she would not attempt to inveigle him like Tess, that she actually was not Tess, he was able to force himself past his naturally shy persona and talk to her. He was surprised and delighted to find that she was a stunning conversationalist. Tess had always been so focused on one thing, “destiny,” and while he’d been interested in a while, it became mind-numbingly boring after a while. Ava was able to pull from a wide variety of interests for conversation, and Max found that she was better-read than anyone he’d ever met.

The final stroke, and what ultimately drew Max out of his shell with her, was that Ava, like Max, was a lover of debate. Max had always been either too shy or too busy for the debate team back in high school, and the closest he’d gotten to it since was arguing with Michael, but in Ava he found a worthy adversary, and eventually they were quibbling good-naturedly about everything from politics to the weather, usually agreeing to disagree. While he was still cautious of their budding friendship, it was indeed becoming a friendship, of which Liz was especially grateful.

Maria tried for Liz, too, or at least she said she did. She couldn’t help it, though. The DeLuca memory was long, and while she didn’t exactly blame Ava for the problems and heartache Tess had caused, she couldn’t help but resent the reminder the smaller blonde kindled. But she had promised Liz, so she bit her tongue a lot, at least.

Kyle gave no illusions. He would not try for anyone, despite the fact that Liz and later Isabel had begged him to. Kyle was emphatic. He would attempt to be civil, to treat her well, but he would in no way attempt to like her.

Despite the varied receptions given to his mother, Zachary was welcomed into their small community with open arms, if not only because he showed promise as a friend to Alex. The younger boy had been very loved throughout his life, but he had never had much of a chance to interact with other kids, and Zachary was stepping into the role of older brother wonderfully.

It amazed Liz how easily the two boys accepted their complex relationship. They somehow understood, without being told, that they were brothers, but that they did not share the same mother, and in a lot of ways did not share Max, either. Still, the boys seemed to understand that they were not competing for anyone’s attentions, but they were rather sharing the love given to them.

Liz herself had some difficulty when it came to Zac. Her inner demons were constantly poking at her, telling her that this was Her son, the product of Max’s betrayal. She couldn’t dislike the boy, either, though. He was nothing if not polite, and he was simply a beautiful child. She felt endlessly guilty about her resentment towards Zachary, and she’d get over it soon, she was sure, but in the meantime she made sure she was more than nice to him in order to make up for what she felt towards him inside. After all, she had asked her family to accept Tess’ double, the least she could do was straighten out her feelings towards a ten-year-old boy.

It broke her heart to watch Max with Zachary. If anything, Max was awkward around his older son. He seemed to enjoy watching the boy, but was unsure as to how he should talk to him, or what exactly his role in the child’s life would be. Zac was confused by the situation as well, and seemed to treat Max like any of the other adults. Liz knew that it hurt Max somewhat, but that he would never push the point, as it would only serve to confuse and hurt Zachary. Her husband would be grateful that he would be able to see his son grow up, as he hadn’t thought he would, and that would be enough for him, eventually, but for now he would hurt.

The only thing worse than Max with Zachary was Kyle’s hostility towards Ava. His actions confused the majority of the group to the point of surrender, and even Ava seemed resigned to the way he treated her, but Liz refused to give up. If there was anything she’d had more than enough of in her life, it was strife among her friends, and she would do all she could to see that it was resolved once and for all.

It was one night the whole group was gathered for a nice dinner, where Ava and Zachary had of course been invited, when Liz’s last bits of patience with Kyle finally evaporated. Kyle had been strategically placed next to Ava, in hopes that they would have a chance to talk, but it was to no avail, as he barely paid her any attention, and instead spent the night concentrating on frustrating Maria, who was on his other side.

“Kyle, this is getting ridiculous,” she snapped, having finally cornered him in the kitchen. “She’s not Tess. She didn’t do anything to you, and you won’t even give her a chance. It’s like you barely acknowledge her existence and it’s not fair.”

“Liz, what happens if she turns out exactly like Tess? What if you’re all just working yourselves up to be betrayed again? She’s got the blood of a killer, Liz. A manipulative, mindwarping killer.”

Liz took a deep breath. “Kyle, you know just as well as I do that your feelings towards Ava have nothing to do with her. This is about Tess.”

He gave her an incredulous look. “Wow, Detective Evans, that was amazing,” he said sarcastically. “Of course this is about Tess. And if you haven’t noticed, they’re the same person.”

Liz tried another tactic. “Kyle, I hate to tell you this, but you of all people should know that Tess had some good to her.”

Kyle shook his head, almost laughing. “The only thing good about Tess Harding was her sex appeal, and even that had its limits.”

Liz frowned at that. She’d never understood why Kyle had switched sides on that one. Kyle had been incredibly attracted to Tess when she first came to town, everyone knew it, and she had never fully bought the story that he had suddenly changed to regarding her as a sister. There had been more to it, but she’d let it go, and now she was curious once again.

“Well then treat her like you did treat Tess. When you first met her. Pretend that none of the bad stuff happened.”

He gave her a sharp look, as if she were insane. “Somehow ignoring the fact that she killed your best friend in front of my eyes makes that a little difficult, Liz.”

Liz bit her lip in defeat for a moment as his words rolled over her, bringing that dull pain to her heart that came whenever she thought of Alex.

“But she made you so happy then, Kyle…” suddenly she looked up, meeting him in the eyes. “That’s what it is, isn’t it? You’re really afraid that you’ll like her, aren’t you?”

Kyle ran a hand through his hair. “Can we not talk about this, Liz?” Without waiting for an answer he pushed past her and out the door.

And right into the object of his aggression.

He meant to apologize, but all he could do was glare at her and then make his way past her.

Unluckily for Kyle, though, Ava’s patience had worn thin also, and she followed him out of the Evans apartment into the adjoining one.

“Kyle.”

“What do you want?” It came out harsher than he’d wanted, but he couldn’t say he was sorry. What was this? Gang-up-on-Kyle day?

“I think we need to talk.”

“About what?” he asked, not bothering to look at her.

“Gee, I don’t know,” she said sarcastically. “How about the fact that you can’t seem to stand being in the same room with me?”

“That’s ridiculous.” He was lying, of course. He wondered if his voice sounded odd to her, too. He sighed and turned slightly towards her, without raising his eyes to hers. “Listen, I’m sure you’re a nice girl and all, but I just can’t… look at you. It’s nothing personal.” He headed towards his room.

“Actually, it is, Kyle.” Her words stopped him in his tracks, but he still couldn’t turn around. “You’ve never met me before and you’re assuming because someone who looks like me—”

“And shares your DNA,” he cut in, pointedly.

“Because someone who looks like me,” she went on, ignoring him, “was a murderer, I must be too, right? Or at least I’m okay with the idea of murder and all that. Right? Forgive me if I take that as personal.”

“I’m not assuming anything,” Kyle countered, defensively. “You just—You don’t know what she did to me.”

“Actually, I’ve heard,” Ava argued, not backing down. Liz had told her everything.

That was what hurt, too. No matter how long it had been, he still remembered that, too. That was Tess’ stubborn streak.

He half turned towards her, a menacing look in his eye as he stared at the ground somewhere in between the two of them. “Hearing about it and knowing what it feels like are two different things,” he bit out.

He saw her chin rise slightly in defiance. “Oh, so because I look like this evil, insane woman you don’t think I can understand what it feels like to lose someone who’s beginning to be one of your best friends because of someone you’re beginning to love as a sibling.”

“Nobody can understand that.”

“Your friends all understand it,” she said, gesturing towards the other apartment. “But they can all see me for who I am, too. Or at least they‘re trying.”

Kyle tossed his head. “They weren’t there!” he snapped. “They didn’t see it. I saw it.” His voice dropped from a yell to a whisper. “There are still nights when it’s all I can see.”

“Oh Kyle…” she said quietly, a soft sob in her voice.

He sighed, saying flatly, “I don’t need your sympathy.”

He heard her take a deep breath, and when she spoke again her voice was much less emotional. “I know you really don’t want to believe this,” she started, “but I really do understand what you’ve been through.”

“Bull,” he shot out, automatically.

From his peripheral vision he could see her nod slowly, accepting his refusal to accept. And yet she spoke again, her comment this time seeming somewhat out-of-the-blue. “Did they ever tell you anything about my story?”

He knew she was watching him intently for an answer—how could he not know? Since he’d connected to her that first day, he could sense every little thing she felt when she was around, and sometimes when she wasn‘t. He’d told himself that his powers had been going off the handle, but it wasn’t that, it was her, he knew it. He could practically reach out and touch the waves of her emotions as they collided with him. He didn’t understand the connection between them and it scared him.

She was still waiting. Kyle thought back to what she’d asked and nodded. “Liz told me once. There were two groups of royals. One in Roswell and the other in the Big Apple, and you guys came to Roswell to trick Max into going to some conference with all of his enemies and—oh yeah, try and kill him. So what? You’re trying to tell me that you’re not a murderer but that was all up to shotty luck? Liz messed up your plan?”

“How did Liz mess up the plan?” Ava questioned, no longer sounding offended at all. She wanted him to figure this out on his own. He needed that in order to trust her.

“Liz did something,” Kyle tossed off, starting to get annoyed, but no longer angry. So long as he didn’t have to look at her. He didn’t want to look at her.

“Liz did something like?” she prompted.

Kyle shrugged, starting to pace around the room, then stopping behind a desk chair. “She… I don’t know, she called him somehow.”

“And she did this alone?”

Kyle sighed again, not getting where she was going with this, but knowing she had a purpose. Feeling she had a purpose. “No. Of course she didn’t do it alone. She didn’t have any of her snap-crackle-pop yet. Isabel helped her.”

“That’s right. And how did they know that Max was in danger?”

He gripped the back of the chair in his hands. “How do you think they knew he was in danger?” he growled in frustration.

“I already know how they knew. I want you to tell me,” she said calmly.

“They knew he was in danger because he was surrounded by murderers. Heck, he even had Tess with him then,” he spat out. “They knew he was in danger because Liz is connected to Max. They can feel things about each other.”

“They weren’t together then. The connection was all but broken. Max was with Tess.”

He couldn’t help but turn to her in his irritation. “Liz could still—” but then he remembered. He sighed, turning from her again. Grudgingly, he spoke again. “They knew he was in danger because Tess’ double warned them.”

“What did she tell them?” Ava continued, taking one step closer to him.

Kyle was starting to see her point to all this, but that didn’t stop it from being obnoxious. “She told them that Max… they might kill Max.”

“And why did she know that?”

He shot her an incredulous look, before looking away from her again. If Ava was any indication—which she was—Tess would have aged well. Incredibly well. He tried to focus on the question but was losing interest fast. “I really don’t care how she knew. Why don’t you just speed this up and tell me?”

Ava sighed. “Because you know. Somewhere in there you know that you can trust me. You know that I’ve been where you’ve been—”

“You haven’t,” he said, before she could quite finish the word.

“What did Rath and Lannie take from me?”

“These questions are going nowhere.”

“Why did they need Max?”

“Because of the whole alien seminar thing!”

“But didn’t they have their own Max? Didn’t they have a copy of him too?” Her voice was urgent now.

“No, they killed him!” Kyle yelled, as if triumphant that he found a point that he knew she couldn’t argue. And then he realized what she meant by knowing how he’d felt.

Kyle hated it when women were right.

He sighed deeply, deflated, and he could feel the guilt starting to creep in. “So they, uh… they killed your Max.”

“Yeah,” she breathed, and suddenly all the fight was gone out of her. “His name was Zan. Short for Zanathan, not that you…”

Kyle shook his head. “Still, that’s not…”

“And you couldn’t have known that Sedrath was my brother. I never told Liz that… I’ve been, well I’ve been looking for the right time to tell Michael, but he can be a bit…”

“Intimidating?” Kyle asked when she didn’t finish.

She gave a soft smile. “Well yeah, but not because he scares me or anything, I just…” she sighed. “How do you greet a brother who doesn’t remember you?”

“So your four was set up the same way these guys were supposedly ‘destined,’ huh?” Kyle asked. “I mean, Rath and Lannie and you and Zan. That’s why you said that you knew how I felt.”

“Yeah,” she said, at a loss again.

He stared at the desk in front of him, and picked up a framed picture of his alien trio, then he turned to her. “They killed him in front of you.”

“Yeah.”

“So you were kind of losing…”

Ava nodded. “The only man I’d ever loved.”

He held the picture up and pointed at Michael and Isabel. “Then how can you even look at them?”

She took a deep breath and shrugged. “I know them for what they are. They are good, kind, loving people. They are what Vilandra and Sedrath should have been.”

Kyle closed his eyes tightly for a moment, almost wishing that he’d open them and she wouldn’t be there, that he’d been imagining this whole thing. But she was still there when he opened them, and she was watching him.

“Ava…” But he stopped, suddenly feeling foolish. That was the first time he’d even said her name out loud.

“Kyle, I don’t expect this to change things. I mean, not right at first, at least…” she sighed, shaking her head as she searched for words. “I just… I guess I just wanted you to understand…”

Kyle nodded mutely. Of course, it did change things. Somehow, it changed everything. He watched as she gave him a cautious smile and made her way out of the apartment, heading back to the dinner party. She’d be gone by the time he’d collected himself enough to go back in, he knew. Maybe he just wouldn’t go back in.

What she’d said changed everything about what he felt, but it didn’t change how he’d treated her the past few weeks. He’d said things to her, implied things… he felt like he was going to be sick just thinking about it. He could never make it up to her, never.

Kyle headed into his darkened bedroom and closed the door, locking it. Maria or someone would come in to check on him later, but he didn’t want to be disturbed.

[cardinalgirl]

Part 16

Ava had been lying to Kyle, really. She did expect what she’d said to change things. And it did, but not the way she would have liked.

Kyle’s hostility towards her changed, but it did not disappear. In fact it hardly lessened at all. Kyle no longer resented her for Tess’ wrongdoings, that she knew, and so she was confused when Kyle continued to be gruff with her, and seemed to be avoiding her in earnest.

Ava and Zac were spending as much time as possible with the Roswell group, and met with Isabel and Liz for lunch often, but she only ever saw Kyle at the “family dinners” that Max and Liz put on every Friday night, and he made it clear enough that he didn’t want to speak to her there. Every time he even saw her approaching him from across the room he would all but run.

Ava asked herself why she even spent the energy worrying about it. The majority of the group were accepting her into the group slowly but surely. It shouldn’t matter so much if one person wasn’t welcoming her with open arms.

But it did. And though she didn’t want to admit it, she knew the reason, too.

The first time Kyle had touched her she’d connected to him, and she wasn’t born yesterday. She knew that meant something. Occasionally she got flashes off of people or things in intense situations, but flashes and a connection were different. Most of the time, flashes were just images, to be interpreted however you saw them, but in a true connection you get much more than images. There are emotions, understandings and even thoughts conveyed. That didn’t happen with just anybody.

She’d gotten images and memories of the wonderful person he was, they loyalty and protective feelings he felt towards his friends. The loneliness he felt so much of the time… It had made her want to hold onto him and never let him go.

And then she’d felt his absolute fury that had coursed through him when he’d thought Tess had again deceived them all, and it was all directed at her. It had been like a slap in the face, and the effects were only just beginning to wear off. She’d been determined to redeem herself in his eyes, but now that she had it didn’t seem to have made any difference. He still didn’t want anything to do with her.

It was ridiculous, maybe, but it hurt. Especially as she knew that he must have gotten flashes from her, too. Knowing that someone had seen into her soul and just not liked what they’d seen… it was really getting to her.

She didn’t think she had the energy to confront him about it, though. Their last conversation had taken a lot out of her. She’d laid herself on the line for him, and it had taken almost every ounce of faith she’d had. And she had failed. And she was going to have to learn how to live with that.

Because Kyle Valenti was going to be a part of her life now whether she wanted it or not. He was a part of the very close-knit family she and Zachary were entering into, and so she was going to have to get used to being around him.

Unfortunately, as he seemed bent on childishly ignoring her, that was going to be difficult.

*************

That Friday, Maria watched as Kyle and Isabel fought for the remote and Ava came and sat with them. She shook her head, as Liz came by her. “You’ve got to help me get those two together.”

Liz had meant to simply pass by, but when she heard Maria’s comment, she stopped by her friend and glanced over at the scene as well. “Oh my gosh, I know,” she said, equally excited. “I’m so glad you said something, I thought I was the only one who saw it.”

“Are you kidding, with the way they act around each other?”

Liz nodded. “All the little arguments and everything.”

“Foreplay,” Maria nodded, gravely.

“And they’re always staring at each other.”

“Her even more than him, I know. And they’d work really well together.”

“They’ve both had a really hard time at love, though.”

Maria shrugged. “If you and I can both see it, that must mean something.”

Liz nodded again, sighing. “I just hope Kyle and Ava can trust themselves enough to fall in love again.”

Maria gave her friend an odd look. “Kyle and Isabel.”

Liz turned away from the three she was watching. “Huh?”

“Kyle and Isabel. You said Kyle and Ava.”

Liz laughed. “Kyle and Isabel? Oh come on, Maria.”

“Come on Maria? What about come on Liz? Kyle and Ava? Kyle and the genetic clone of the psycho mass-murderer alien queen?”

Liz frowned at her friend. “Maria, Ava is nothing like Tess. All she’s ever wanted was to be loved. She’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met in my life.”

Maria didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead she changed tactics. “What about Isabel? Don’t you think she deserves to be happy?”

Liz sighed. “Maria, of course I think Isabel deserves to be happy. And she’s been so lonely for so long that, yeah, there were times when I really wished it could be Kyle and Isabel. But they’ve had ten years, Maria. Ten years of close quarters and getting stuck together. And they’re really good friends. They may have the strongest friendship out of all of us now, but they’ve never fallen in love, Maria. I mean, Isabel… I think she still has a lot of healing to do.”

Maria rolled her eyes. “I don’t get how it takes her ten years to get over Mr. Latino Lawyer when it took her all of three months to get over Alex.”

Liz looked at her friend, almost disbelieving what she was hearing. “Maria, do you really think that Isabel ever got over Alex?”

Maria frowned. “What, you’re saying she didn’t?”

Liz sighed and bit her lip. She didn’t know if she had any right telling Maria these things, but she couldn’t stand to see Maria holding this grudge against Isabel for getting over Alex. She glanced over at her sister-in-law, and then Maria. Finally her gaze fell to the floor and stayed there. “She still talks to him sometimes.”

Maria frowned. “What, Jesse? I thought that was against the rules.”

Liz shook her head. “Alex. She still talks to Alex. I’m not supposed to know, but I accidentally heard her one time.” Liz looked across the room at her sister-in-law. “I heard her talking to someone and I didn’t know who it was, I thought it was Kyle, or something… but then she said his name… Maria, she was telling him her problems, asking him advice… It almost made me cry.”

Maria was giving her a strange look. “Wait… you don’t mean that she was… talking to him? I mean… she wasn’t actually…” She was trying to wrap her mind around the idea of an alien-induced séance… that worked.

“No Maria—don’t be ridiculous. She wasn’t actually talking to him, she was just… talking to him.”

Maria frowned again. “So you’re telling me that Isabel is insane.”

Liz rolled her eyes, but laughed softly. “No, Maria. She just misses him. I mean… I talked to Grandma Claudia for a year or two after she died. Usually it wasn’t out loud or anything, but sometimes… It’s not that uncommon, actually.”

Maria’s eyebrows raised as she processed the information, and then she looked back over at the scene in the living room, which had switched to Isabel and Ava talking while Kyle seemed almost withdrawn. She sighed. “Well, I don’t believe you about Ava and Kyle,” she admitted. “And I still think he and Isabel would be cute together... But I guess I won’t push things.”

Liz gave her friend an impromptu hug. She knew Maria just wanted to see Kyle and Isabel happy, after all. “You’re the best Maria.”

Maria rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, Parker. You’re not so bad yourself.”

[cardinalgirl]

Part 17

Kyle was going to start asking his supervisor about late-work on Friday. He couldn’t just not go to Liz’s family dinners, they were too important to her. But if he was working, maybe…

And if he couldn’t get late-work on Friday… well he’d figure something out. He’d say he had work and… do something. This was New York City, after all.

He just couldn’t be around her. He couldn’t. Even once a week was too much. He would go about his life for the whole week and almost forget about her, but then those dinners would roll around and there she’d be again.

And no matter how hard he tried to push her away, she never seemed to take the bait. She kept looking at him, kept trying to talk to him. Was the girl masochistic, or what? He felt like shaking her and yelling. “I’m not worth it! Just stay away from me!” She had to understand.

He was low. He was lower than low and he hated himself for it. But he couldn’t help it. He barely deserved to breathe the same air as her after all he’d put her through. The best thing he could do for her now was stay out of her way. Maybe if he stayed away from her he wouldn’t hurt her again. He just didn’t want to hurt her anymore. She didn’t deserve that.

But he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her presence every passing Friday. He was doing nothing but hurting her.

And she was trying so hard to be nice to him. It was driving him crazy, and it only proved that he should stay away from her. Because he would never go to such lengths to befriend someone who had treated him the way he had treated her. He just wasn’t that strong. He didn’t understand how she didn’t see that.

But she wasn’t letting him push her away. Didn’t she understand it was for her own good?! And every time he saw her his resistance weakened. He couldn’t help the way he was drawn to her, and that, added to the sad blue eyes… those eyes should never be that sad. With Tess—

No. He would not compare her to Tess. Not anymore. She’d more than proven to him that he knew nothing about her, and comparing her to Tess was like some sort of blasphemy. Useless and offensive. That would stop now.

The worst part is that he should have known it from the beginning. Everything he’d felt in that connection to her the first day… that had been real. You can’t fake things like that. He’d known right then that she was a good person, somebody who needed to be taken care of… but he’d ignored all of that. Buried it under his anger.

And she was giving him a second chance. Why? He didn’t deserve it. He had to refuse it. He had to. Even if it killed him.

*************

“These look like some great references, Miss Evans,” smiled Adam Cartwright, of Cartwright and Associates Domestic Law, as he looked through her letters of recommendation. No matter what Isabel had told people growing up, she’d always seen herself following in her parent’s footsteps. She’d studied law in Seattle first, then finally gone back to it when they were in LA, and gotten her degree there and passing the Bar with flying colors, and now it was time for her to put it into use.

“Now we deal with some pretty heavy stuff in domestic law. You’re sure you’re up for it?”

Isabel nodded quickly. “I was adopted myself, and when I was younger one of my friends had an abusive foster father, so helping children especially has always been important to me. I do as much volunteer work as I can get my hands on, and I’ve seen some pretty bad situations. I know what it’s like to need someone to turn to, too. That’s why I’m here.”

Cartwright smiled again, the type of smile that lit up a room, and Isabel could feel herself wanting to smile also. She’d heard good things about Cartwright and Associates, how they had a heart behind them, and now she could see why.

“Well, we’re going to start you slowly, of course, as a more of a consultant than a courtroom lawyer, but once you’ve got some experience to back up your education I think you’ll be a wonderful addition to the firm.”

Isabel’s eyebrows raised in shock. That was it? She was hired? The interview hadn’t lasted more than ten minutes.

At her look of surprise, he laughed softly. “You see, we look for people like you, Miss Evans. People who really seem to care about the people, especially. So welcome to the firm.”

He reached a hand out and when she shook it she was not surprised at his strong, sure grip.

“Thank you, sir. Thank you very much,” she smiled.

And he laughed again. It was an infectious laugh. “Thank you, Miss Evans,” he said, as he made his way around the large oak desk and made his way towards her. “One more question, though.”

Standing across from him Isabel felt herself almost blush. He was quite a specimen of a man. Tall and handsome. And then there was that dazzling smile. “Anything,” she smiled.

Suddenly he looked a little shy. “Um… will you have lunch with me tomorrow?”

Isabel felt like she had been slapped. No wonder she’d been hired so quickly. But before she could loose her wrath, he shook his head at her. “It’s okay if you say no.” He smiled at her again, a well-meaning smile. “I already hired you. Don’t think this has anything to do with that. I just… I like your smile.”

Isabel froze, realizing that this was a true intention. He wasn’t some rich pig who expected to get what he wanted, he was just asking her for lunch.

She could hear Alex’s voice in her ear. “You have to promise to wait for me, Isabel. Can you do that?” But then Kyle’s voice followed it. “If there was some way it was even possible that he could contact you… it wouldn’t have taken ten years.”

And Alex again. “You’ve been obsessing about this dream for weeks, Iz, and it’s getting you nowhere. You need to take a step back and let whatever is going to happen happen.”

She wondered if this was the “whatever” he had been referring to. Was that what her conversation with Alex had been all about after all? She nervously pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and bit her lip.

“Listen, it’s totally okay for you to say no. It was just a question, Miss Evans, I promise.”

She didn’t want to do this. Because what if Alex was coming back to her someway? But she didn’t know if she could believe anymore. It had been so long…

“You won’t be alone forever, Isabel,” her memory whispered. He had promised her that. But was that really up to him, or was it up to her? Would she be failing him by saying no?

Isabel came to a decision and smiled at her new boss and admirer. “No, that sounds wonderful. And please. Call me Isabel.”

[cardinalgirl]

Author's Note: Thanks to Quint for reading over this part and pointing out glaring flaws!


Part 18

She had eaten her salad too quickly. It was the first thing that reminded Isabel that she hadn’t done this in a long time. She used to be a pro at dating. She could chew ‘em up, spit ‘em out, and be on to the next one in no time.

But those days were long, long gone.

Now she was a divorcee with an imaginary ex-boyfriend following her around… the closest she got to dealing with eligible bachelors was Kyle… and there was no end to the reasons that that didn’t count.

The conversation was normal, if not a little stilted on her side. The majority of it started out as Cartwright asking a question and Isabel answering. Where was she from? More like where wasn’t she from… How long had she been in New York? Around three months. Was she alone? No, she had “family”… And she’d been jobless that whole time? Pretty much… How had she spent her time? Exploring the city, spending time with her family, making a friend or two… Why law?

It was that question that finally drew her out, and Isabel was a bit surprised to hear herself go from, “Well, first of all my parents are lawyers,” to telling stories about sitting up when she couldn’t sleep and listening to her parents going over legal notes, or having their own mock trial where one of them pleaded for the other side, in order to see if their case had any holes.

“I just liked hearing their voices at first, you know, as a security thing. But eventually I just liked the thought process of working through a case. The strategy of it and everything…” As the waiter came to clear their dishes, and pour coffee, Isabel blushed. “Wow, I’ve been talking for quite some time now.”

“That’s all right, really. It’s wonderful.”

She smiled. “Okay, you’re turn.”

He raised an eyebrow. “My turn? For what?”

“Well, I’m assuming law was sort of a family legacy for you, too,” Isabel smiled, over her coffee.

Cartwright laughed. “What, you don’t think I founded Cartwright and Associates on my own?” She smiled at him, but waited for him to continue. “Okay. I’m a third-generation lawyer. My father opened a small law office around forty years ago, and it’s turned into… well, what it is now,” he smiled. “And I’ve been working there for twenty years. It’s all I know.”

Isabel raised an eyebrow at that. “Twenty years? You couldn’t be more than thirty-five.”

He laughed again. Every time Isabel heard that laugh, full and throated, she liked it more. “Yeah, but I started working as a mail boy when I was fifteen.”

Isabel smiled. “No perks for being the boss’ son.”

He shook his head, getting a faraway look in his eyes. “No, he worked me harder than anybody, and I’m thankful for it. My father’s recipe for success was simple. ‘A strong mind, a strong will, and a strong heart.’ I learned everything I know from him.”

“He sounds like he was an amazing man. You must have really admired him.”

“He was. He really was.”

Isabel let her gaze wander around the outside restaurant, finally beginning to relax at the very end of their lunch date. And then something she saw across the way made her freeze.

It was only a man in a business suit, which wasn’t uncommon by any means, but she kept staring at him. She couldn’t help herself. Suddenly her heart was pounding in her ears. It was only his back, but she knew it was him. She’d know him anywhere, after all. That height, that hair, those adorable ears… Her heart fluttered. She’d almost forgotten that hearts actually did that.

She heard Cartwright asking if she was okay, but she couldn’t answer him, her heart was caught in her throat. As she stared, the man she was watching settled his bill and got up.

In her mind’s eye she imagined him turning, almost walking past her to leave, and then seeing her, staring the way she was.

When he did turn around to pass her, all the breath left her body, and she felt empty inside. It wasn’t him.

And in the center of her being, the old, familiar ache woke up again. Alex…

“Isabel… Please, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Isabel took a deep breath and composed herself quickly. It was her best talent, after all. “I’m so sorry… I thought I saw someone I knew…”

Cartwright continued to look concerned, but he didn’t push the subject. She sat with him for a few moments more, but she barely heard anything he said after that. Her mind was playing one sentence on repeat. You have to promise to wait for me, Isabel.

She’d said she would. She’d said that if it were possible, she would wait for him. And then she hadn’t. At the last moment she had turned away from him.

And something inside of her was sure that if she had waited for him, he would have come for her. As her guilt set in, Isabel’s eyes began to burn, but she couldn’t cry in front of Adam… Mr. Cartwright.

Finally she cleared her throat and officially ended the lunch. “Thank you so much for this…” She felt bad for pushing things like this, but she needed to be alone, and soon.

Cartwright looked a little caught off-guard, but he smiled. “No, thank you, Isabel. It was wonderful... Maybe we could try it again sometime. As something more than lunch.”

She smiled at him, but couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t pursue this, even if she wanted to. It wouldn’t be fair to him.

She waited as he paid the bill, and he hailed a taxi for her, and it wasn’t until after she’d given her destination and the driver had stopped paying attention to her that she let the tears fall silently down her face.

When the cab pulled up in front of the Museum of Modern Arts, Isabel wondered if this was where she really wanted to be. Maybe she should have just gone home after all, but she paid the driver and went in search of her friend.

When she finally found Ava, she waited until the woman seemed to be free and walked up to her. “Do you have a minute?”

*************

Ava was surprised to see Isabel in the museum, and when she took in the other woman’s distraught disposition, she was glad she hadn’t taken her lunch break quite yet.

Ava had Isabel in the front booth of a nearby café before asking what had happened, and Isabel haltingly told of her lunch with Cartwright, and the man she’d seen. “I was so sure it was Alex… I’d never been so sure of anything in my life. I mean... I even thought I smelled his cologne when he walked by. I didn’t even know I remembered what his cologne smelled like…” Isabel stopped for a moment, unable to speak, and when she did manage it, her voice was broken by her tears. “And then it wasn’t him. I wanted to die.”

Ava’s heart hurt for Isabel, but at first she didn’t know what to say. “Isabel… are you sure you want to talk to me about this? I mean… I can call someone if you’d be more comfortable…”

But Isabel was shaking her head emphatically, swiping at her tears. “No, I needed to talk to you… Ava, I want us to be close. Also… I needed someone who would understand a little of what I was going through.”

Ava nodded sympathetically, and felt relief wash over her. She was grateful that Isabel was willing to trust her enough for this. She swallowed. It was her turn now. “I’ve seen Zan in crowds a hundred times,” she admitted softly. “It was the worst right after he died, of course, but sometimes every once in a while…”

Suddenly Isabel gasped, then, covering her mouth. “Oh my gosh… I just realized… I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to see Max… I can’t believe I never thought of that.”

Ava shook her head, smiling easily. “It’s not so bad. I mean, obviously he reminds me of Zan… but they’re different in so many ways… Zan was never as happy as Max is now. Max has his family, knows what he wants and what he has…” she shook her head sadly. “Zan never got a chance at any of that.”

The two women sat in silence for a moment, both remembering lost loves. Finally, Isabel, who had regained the majority of her composure, spoke again. “Ava I have to ask you something… about… my powers,” she said quietly, and her strained voice was the only hint that she had been anything like an inconsolable wreck less than an hour ago. “I was wondering… do you think it’s possible for me to dreamwalk myself?”

Ava frowned. “I don’t know, Isabel… you obviously know more about your power than I do… I don’t understand how you’d be able to, though… what brought that up?” she asked, genuinely interested and more than a little confused.

Isabel looked nervous, then, and began shredding the paper napkin in front of her, staring at her hands’ work. “I had this dream a couple months ago… Well, I was trying to dream walk my ex-husband…” Isabel proceeded to tell Ava about how she’d been pulled from the dreamwalk into another one, and the things that had happened there. “Kyle thought that maybe I was dreamwalking myself. There were so many coincidences, you see… but no one else could have known about that dream from high school… I’d never told anyone about it, and I know Alex never would have, either…”

Ava was watching her friend, but at first she didn’t even know what to make of what Isabel had been saying. “I don’t understand, Isabel… you’re saying it almost like you think it came from Alex himself.”

Isabel dropped the remnants of the napkin, and leaned back, sighing. “It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s been more than a decade since he died. But that dream has been in my mind for months now, and I keep wondering if somehow it was him. I mean… I don’t know… if maybe he’s out there somewhere. If maybe he’s alive…” She shook her head. “If today was a sign of that… And then I just felt so guilty. He asked me to wait for him. I mean, he told me he needed me to wait for him…”

Ava was staring at Isabel, profoundly confused. Isabel frowned at her. “What?”

Ava shrugged. “I just… Isabel… you were connected to Alex, weren’t you? I mean, I thought…”

Isabel smiled sadly. “We were… but only once. You know you have to open a connection with a human, right?” Ava nodded. “It took me a really long time to open it with Alex…” she frowned, remembering exactly how long she’d waited. “I didn’t open it until the night of our prom… The night before he died…” A single tear fell down her face at the memory. All the love she’d felt from him that night…

She’d never told anyone about the connection, hoping that she could forget what it felt like in time. Forget the fact that she would never have that again.

Ava didn’t want to cause Isabel any more pain, but she was still confused. “But Isabel… if you were connected to him, how could you wonder about his being alive?”

Isabel frowned. “What do you mean?”

Ava bit her lip. “It’s just… when Zan died… I felt it. I felt like half of my heart had been ripped out of me, but I still had enough to live somehow… I felt like I could never be whole again. Like part of my soul was dying, too.”

Isabel stared at her as if fascinated. Finding out Alex had died had been the worst thing she’d ever experienced in her life, but she hadn’t physically felt him die. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she admitted. But then she remembered hearing once that Liz had also felt it when Max had “died” in the Metachem disaster… “Do you think… maybe I didn’t feel it because we’d only been connected for such a short time?”

Ava shrugged, very confused now. “If you’d been connected at all you should have felt it. You should have felt… something…”

Isabel again slumped back in her chair, more confused than ever, but when she spoke again, it was in an almost hopeful voice. “So the fact that I didn’t feel it… what does that mean?”

But before Ava answered though, someone passing by the window caught Isabel’s eye. Her eyes widened perceptibly. Could her day get any worse? She grasped at her friend’s hand across the table, desperately. “Ava, can you do me a favor?” she asked, as she heard the chime above the door ring. Ava nodded, and Isabel rushed on. “The man who just came in? Can you hide us when he walks past? Just make us look like other people.”

Ava raised her eyebrows. “Um… I haven’t warped anybody in a long time, but… yeah… I guess, if it’s important.”

“Believe me, it is.”

Ava kept the mindwarp up until they had paid their bill and left, and when she let it go she looked at Isabel, concerned. “Isabel, who was that?”

Embarrassed, Isabel bit her lip nervously. “That was Jesse Ramirez. My ex-husband.”

[cardinalgirl]

Part 19

“Okay, kiddo, time to go to bed,” Kyle said, when the movie was over. The Ewok Adventure. Of course, Kyle would have preferred a real Star Wars movie, but for his nephew it was okay. Showed that the kid had potential.

Alex yawned. “I’m not sleepy.”

Kyle laughed, scooping him up and taking him into his bedroom. “I know that, but if your Mom and Dad come home and find out that I let you stay up again I’ll be in big trouble, and I won’t get to baby-sit you again. We don’t want that, now do we?”

“Uh-uh!” Alex said resolutely, as he found his pajamas and pulled them on with just a little of Kyle’s help.

When Kyle had him tucked in, he ruffled Alex’s hair. “Goodnight, kid.”

But Alex called for him before he was out the door.

“Uncle Kyle?”

He turned and looked at Alex. “Yeah, Alex?”

Alex was rubbing his eyes wearily and frowning. “Do you hate Zac’s mom?”

Kyle felt all the breath leave his body. He sat down softly on Alex’s bed. “No. No, I don’t hate Zac’s mom. Why would you think that?”

Alex wasn’t looking at him, he was staring at the wall instead, and Kyle found he had another reason to regret everything he’d done towards Ava. Alex had always looked up to him. Some role-model he was being.

“She thinks you do,” the boy finally said, though it was so quiet Kyle almost didn’t hear him. “It makes her sad.”

“How do you know that?” Kyle asked, and Alex shrugged, but Kyle thought he already knew the answer. It had become more and more apparent lately that Alex’s gift was empathy. He sensed people’s emotions strongly enough that he might as well be feeling them himself. He swallowed hard. “I don’t want to hurt her,” he said, hoping Alex would believe him.

Alex nodded. He knew. Of course he knew. “You should be nice to her, then.”

Kyle sighed heavily. “It’s not that easy, Alex.”

Alex finally looked at him in disbelief. “Why not? Ava’s nice!”

Kyle sighed again, and now it was he who couldn’t look at Alex. “I know. But I really messed things up with her. Now I’m just trying to stay out of her way.”

“I think she’d like an apology better,” was Alex’s mumbled reply. Kyle almost laughed. He couldn’t believe he was sitting here getting advice from a six-year-old.

But then it hit him. The kid was probably right. Of course he’d known that Ava had been trying to get his attention, trying to be friendly with him for a while now, but he’d been convinced that it would only make things worse if he let her get close.

But he doubted things could get much worse between them. And having things good between them could be nice. Really, really nice.

“You know, sport, I think you’re right. I should apologize to her.”

Alex smiled slightly, but Kyle could tell there was still something bothering him.

“What is it, Alex?”

Alex frowned. “You’re not mad at me, now, are you?”

Kyle smiled at him. “Mad? You’re my buddy, my pal. I could never be mad at you.” He ruffled Alex’s hair again, and finally the little boy gave a true smile. “Besides, I know you’re just looking out for me, huh?”

Alex nodded, and Kyle grinned. “Okay, now you’ve really got to go to bed, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Alex mumbled. He was practically asleep before Kyle got to the door, and Kyle smiled. He probably wouldn’t sleep tonight, but he didn’t really care.

Because if it was possible that Kyle could redeem himself, he owed it to both of them to try. He owed it to Alex, at least.

He didn’t know what he would do, or if he would be wasting his energy, but maybe… Maybe this really was how things were supposed to be. Maybe this would work.

*************

“So where’s Michael?” Kyle asked later, after Liz and Max got back and he was finally dismissed to his own apartment.

Maria glanced up from her work. “Oh, he’s in our room… It’s pretty late, Kyle. Did Max and Liz just get back?”

Kyle nodded, and then just plunged in, before he could talk himself out of it. “Hey, Maria? I need advice.” Kyle hated doing this. Especially with DeLuca. Because asking Maria DeLuca for advice was like giving in. Somehow it was like surrendering. But he needed to talk to somebody, and at the moment Maria was the choice available.

Of course, the fact that she was in the middle of folding laundry should have been a hint for him to ask what was up with her before dumping his problems on her, but he didn’t realize that until too late.

She only did laundry at night when she was upset about something. He’d asked her about it once, and she’d explained that it was what she’d do when she was a kid waiting for her mom to come home from one of her dates. She’d get nervous being in the house all alone at night, and so she’d do the laundry, make sure everything was folded perfectly and put away.

She seemed okay when she answered him, though. “What’s up, Valenti?”

“I need to apologize to somebody… and it’s got to be good. Any ideas?”

She frowned at him. “Kyle, we’ve been in New York for three months. How badly could you have screwed up a relationship already? I didn’t even know you were seeing anybody…”

“I… I’m not. It’s more complicated than that.”

“How complicated?”

Her calm voice was kind of weirding Kyle out. Maria had been almost watching him lately, trying to set him up, but now she seemed all but disinterested.

“Um… very complicated. Like I don’t deserve to kiss the feet of somebody who kisses her feet.”

She chuckled at that. “Kyle, I know I’m a bit biased, but you’re a really nice guy. I doubt you did anything as bad as all that…”

Kyle sighed. “I just… I just need something good.”

Maria shrugged, picking up another shirt to fold. “Well, the basics are the basics. Chocolate, flowers, etc. Humiliating yourself always adds nicely to an apology…” she looked over at him. “What happened, Kyle? Why is this so important? Who is this woman?”

Kyle didn’t know if he should tell her… Ava wasn’t exactly a favorable subject for Maria. Apparently his unsure expression was enough for Maria to figure it out, though, because suddenly she dropped the shirt she was holding, and she looked like she was about to cry.

“Not you too. I swear, Kyle, I thought if I had one ally in this it would be you.”

The look on her face made Kyle’s heart hurt. “Maria…” he made his way to pull an arm around her, but she pulled away.

“No. Stop it. Don’t comfort me, I don’t want it,” she snapped, a tear breaking out and slipping down her cheek. “I mean, she just came in here and put everything in our lives off-balance again… And not only do I have to be reminded of the worst thing that ever happened in my life—losing Alex—I’m just expected to fall all over Ava just like everybody else.”

Kyle frowned. He’d known Ava annoyed her, but she’d taken it farther than he’d thought. “Maria, you and I have been in the same boat pretty much since we found Ava, you know that… but I’ve got to try and right things with her, for me. You might want to try it, too,” he said, carefully, trying to smile at her.

Maria shook her head. “I want it back. I just want it back to how it was. Ava shows up and suddenly it’s like I’m competing with her for time to spend with my friends. And everybody’s trying so hard to make her feel comfortable, make her feel like she belongs… I mean, she had lunch with Isabel today, she had lunch with Liz yesterday…” she sighed. “I liked how it was. Everybody was settled, everything was good.”

“It can be good again, Maria. We’ve just got to try,” Kyle said, but he doubted he would get through to her. He’d made all those same arguments, after all. “Listen… you said our lives have been put off-balance. And you’re right. I’ve been off-balance since I met her. And the only way for me to get on-balance again is to make peace with her. I connected with her, Maria. I didn’t do it on purpose, I just did. And she’s a good person. I know it’s taken me too long to admit it, but she is.” He took a deep breath. “And you know it, too, but you won’t let yourself see it. But getting jealous and petty over it is ridiculous, Maria.”

Maria didn’t respond to that. She couldn’t. With almost half a load of laundry left unfolded, she left, slamming the door to her bedroom shut.

After a moment or two, the door opened again, and a tired and grumpy-looking Michael came out. “Hey, what did you do to her?”

Kyle sighed and picked up the shirt Maria had previously dropped, began folding it. “Nothing…”

“Yeah? Because she seemed pretty upset for nothing,” Michael grumbled.

“I told her I was going to try and smooth things out with Ava, is all.”

“And that got her all riled?” Michael asked, a little unbelieving.

Kyle shrugged. “And I suggested she do the same. That’s when she went crazy.”

Michael sighed. “Kyle, just leave it, okay? So she doesn’t really trust Ava. I don’t blame her. I mean, why should she?”

“What, now you’re anti-Ava, too?”

Michael shrugged. “Ava can shove off for all I care.”

Kyle frowned at that. “You know, you might want to get to know her better, yourself.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Kyle get off it, okay?”

But Kyle kept on. It wasn’t really his place to do this, but he felt like he had to. Like he owed it to her in a way. “Michael, trust me, you of all people should try to get to understand her.”

Michael frowned at his voice. “Me of all people? What are you talking about? Why?”

Kyle rubbed his face, wearily. He couldn’t believe she hadn’t told him yet, and he was beginning to think she never would. “Because… she’s your sister.”

[cardinalgirl]

Part 20

Ava was still in her bathrobe when there was a knock on their apartment door. She wondered who could possibly be coming to see them at seven in the morning on a Sunday. She checked on Zachary first, who was already up and watching cartoons, and then she went to answer the door.

Looking through the peephole, she was surprised to see a nervous-looking Kyle Valenti standing in the hall. She inched the door open. “Kyle. What are you doing here?”

He swallowed. “Um… can I… can I come in?”

Ava wrapped her arms around herself. Suddenly her silk bathrobe seemed much too thin. But she could feel his determination, his need to be there. And so she stepped back, not surprised when he barreled into the room.

She was, however, incredibly surprised when he thrust a bouquet of purple flowers at her from behind his back.

“I couldn’t sleep all night,” he said gruffly. “They’re hyacinths. The, uh, lady at the shop said they were good for apologies.”

Ava knew her mouth was hanging open slightly. She couldn’t even make herself reach for the flowers, all she could do was stare.

She knew he was waiting for her to say something, to thank him, to acknowledge that she’d accepted his apology, but she couldn’t even form words in her mind, much less get her mouth to work. Finally he sighed heavily, and the arm with the flowers dropped. She lifted her eyes and saw the resignation on his face. No!, her heart screamed out, willing him not to be discouraged, but she still couldn’t speak.

“Listen, I know it’s not enough. I mean, I’ve put you through hell, and a bouquet of flowers isn’t going to make up for that.”

“Kyle,” she finally made out, finally taking the flowers from him, but he shook his head.

“No, let me say this… Ava, I know how I’ve treated you. From the beginning I’ve been cruel and unforgiving… and it’s been completely unjustifiable. I’ve been holding things against you that you had nothing to do with—”

“Kyle, that’s understandable,” she cut in.

“That’s not an excuse, Ava!” He was pacing by now, hands in the pockets of his jacket. “And I’ve… I know I’ve hurt you. And you don’t deserve that. I don’t know how to stop it, though! I thought maybe if I stayed away from you… but it’s impossible, you know? Because you’re in now. You and Zac, you’re in our family now, and I can’t just ignore that, because it’s not going to change.”

Ava could feel tears pricking her eyes. “Kyle, I… thank you. Thank you for saying that.”

He shrugged and went on, almost as if he hadn’t heard her. “And I know you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, but I’m hoping maybe someday you could.”

She wished he would stop moving and just look her in the eye, but it seemed impossible, so she finally reached out and steadied him by putting a hand on his arm. “Kyle, I don’t need to forgive you.” She saw his half-questioning, half-incredulous look, but rushed on before he could say anything. “I’ve never held anything against you, Kyle. I’ve just been waiting for this, waiting for you to be okay with me being here.” It was Kyle’s turn to stare at her agape. She smiled slightly. “The flowers are beautiful, by the way. Thank you so much.”

Ava watched as he swallowed carefully, and she could feel a faint blush come to her cheeks. He had this amazed look on his face. No one had ever looked at her that way before.

“Well, um… I should probably put these in water,” she said, once the silence was becoming awkward. His hand circled her wrist, though, as she turned, and she gasped lightly, amazed at his gentle touch. It was nothing like the rough hold he’d had on her the first time they’d met.

“There’s one more thing,” he said, and she realized he was looking even more nervous than before, if that were possible. He let go of her wrist and rubbed his face, and then those blue eyes of his were studying her carefully. “You see…” he started, as his gaze started to drift to the floor, “You see, at the beginning, when we found you… when I found you,” he corrected. “All I could see you as was this… this nightmare brought back to life.” She winced at that, and knew he saw it, but that didn’t stop him from going on. “But now… I mean ever since you gave me that talk and showed me what an idiot I was being… Now all I can see you as is this amazing second chance that I’ve already screwed up.”

He lifted his gaze to meet hers, hesitantly, almost shyly, and Ava swallowed, feeling her heart reacting in odd ways. Her mouth was dry, had never been more dry in her life. “Kyle, I… I guess I don’t understand.”

He sighed, heavily, and again refused to meet her eyes. “Tess was… Tess was really important to me. More important to me than anybody else, probably.” His eyes were worried when he looked back at her. “And I don’t want you to be Tess. I mean, she wasn’t a good person like you… but having you here… It’s kind of like having the good days with her back. I mean… I miss her. I hate her for everything she did to me, to my friends, but… I can’t help it. But with you here…” he shrugged. “I don’t have to miss her anymore.”

She frowned slightly. “If… if that’s what you want to see me as, Kyle. As a replacement for her…”

But he shook his head quickly. “No. No, that’s not what I meant. I meant I could completely let go of her now. She can’t hold me back anymore, I don’t need her.”

Ava smiled, then, nodding at him. “Yeah. I know what that can feel like.”

Kyle nodded, finally meeting her eyes and holding her gaze. His look finished the deal for them. His look acknowledged the connection between them, even if he wasn’t quite ready to do that, and in that one look he managed to say all the things he couldn’t say out loud. He would not forsake her after this. He would support her, and stand by her, no matter what.

Ava almost smiled. When Kyle Valenti changed his mind, he changed his mind.

Finally he cleared his throat. “Anyhow, I just wanted you to know that. I’m sorry I showed up so early like this, without calling or anything…”

She shook her head, smiling. “Don’t even worry about it, Kyle. Anytime.”

He nodded, beginning to smile. “All right. I’ll get out of your hair now,” he said, heading towards the door.

She laughed lightly, but looked at him seriously. “Thank you for the flowers, again, Kyle. And… everything. Thank you.”

He nodded again, and let himself out.

She stood watching the closed door for a moment and breathing in the scent of the Hyacinths, unable to stop the bewildered smile on her face. She half-expected to wake up at any moment, but she knew that this was real, that it was right, and she could feel the pain from Kyle’s previous treatment of her washing easily away. They weren’t starting over, but they were starting a new chapter, and this one was going to be good, she could tell.

*************

“Are you sure she wasn’t just telling Kyle that? I mean, she could have been lying to him.”

Michael shook his head. “Kyle’s like… connected to her. He’s sure she wasn’t lying.”

Maria shook her head. “But I don’t get it. If she’s your sister why didn’t Tess tell you about it?”

Michael ran a hand through his hair. “I think Ava remembers a lot more than Tess ever did. Tess only remembered what Nesado needed her to, and Nesado couldn’t have cared less about me. All he cared about was his deal with Khivar. He didn’t need Tess connected to any of the rest of us, he wanted her completely focused on Max.”

Maria rolled her eyes, “Well, mission accomplished.”

“Listen, can we just not talk about this?”

Maria raised an eyebrow at him. “Not talk about it? Michael this is like… your dream come true,” Maria said, not able to keep the resentment out of her voice. On some level she was happy for Michael. He’d finally found family, something he’d always been looking for. It wasn’t his fault that he’d found it in her.

But Michael was looking at her like she was insane. “Dream come true? Maria do you even realize what this means?”

She sighed. “Yeah. Now she’s got more of a claim to you than I do, too.”

Michael groaned in frustration. “Maria, can we focus here? I just told you that Ava… that Tess was my sister.” He looked up at her, shaking his head and running his hand through his hair again. “That means my sister killed Alex, killed your best friend.” He sighed heavily. “My sister killed one of the few people I’ve ever trusted in my life.”

Maria swallowed, stunned. She hadn’t even gotten so far as to thinking that. But it was his next sentence that really got to her.

“It’s like it runs in my family or something,” he said, staring at his hands, sounding disgusted with himself.

Something in Maria’s heart tore. “What does?” she asked quietly, dreading his answer, though she thought she already knew it.

His answer was barely more than a whisper, sounding like a sigh. “Murder.” He swallowed and then spoke louder. “There’s murder in my blood, Maria.”

Maria felt a chill go down her spine, but her immediate response was not fear. It was anger. Not at Michael, of course, but rather at what he was thinking. He’d stopped thinking about Ava entirely. Instead, he was thinking back to Pierce, the man he’d been forced to kill so long ago. He’d never gotten over that day, and he was looking at this like it was an affirmation that he was guilty of something.

“Michael, don’t be ridiculous. Tess was insane. That had nothing to do with DNA and it had nothing to do with you. It had to do with the fact that she was brought up by a psycho.”

“No, Maria, it’s more than that. I mean, think about it. Of the four of us, Rath, Tess, Ava and me, only one of us hasn’t killed someone. What does that say?”

Maria felt like shaking him. “It doesn’t say anything. And don’t you dare start up about Pierce again. You were saving the sheriff’s life.”

“By taking the life of another man.”

“And you’d do the same thing tomorrow if you had to,” she said, forcing him to look at her.

He glared at her mutinously for a moment, but then looked away. “Yeah. I would.”

She nodded, and took a deep breath. “Michael, I can’t even believe I’m saying this, but maybe… maybe Kyle was right. Maybe the only way we can get past Tess and everything she did is to accept Ava. I mean… she’s a good person, she has to be.”

He shook his head. “I can’t, Maria… I can’t…”

“Look at me,” she said, putting her hands on the two sides of his face, trying to send him as much love and support as she could in her gaze. “I won’t let you turn your back on this. If Ava is part of your family, you can’t turn away from it. You’ve wanted it too much for too long.”

He sighed, leaning in so that his forehead touched hers. “You’re my family, Maria. You and Isabel and Max and everybody. You’re the only family I need.”

But she was shaking her head, almost surprised that there were tears in her eyes. “Michael, I know you want this. Even if you don’t think you do.”

“I don’t, Maria.” But she could tell he was just trying to convince himself.

She sighed, and moved away from him. “We’re letting her win, you know. I didn’t get it before now, but we are.”

He shook his head. “What are you talking about? Letting who win?”

She rolled her eyes. “Tess. She’s been gone for more than a decade, Michael, and we’re still letting her mess with our lives.”

“And who’s to say Ava will be any different?”

Maria shrugged. “Everybody. They trust her, Michael.”

“They trusted Tess, too.”

“Not Liz. She never trusted her. But she trusts Ava.”

“Twenty-four hours ago you would wanted her out of our lives, Maria.”

She shrugged, stubbornly. “Twenty-four hours ago I didn’t know what I know now.”

“This doesn’t change things, Maria,” he said, not to be outdone.

“It changes enough. This is your chance, Michael. You know it. Don’t screw it up. Don’t let Tess screw it up, either.”

Michael sighed. “I don’t… I don’t know how to do this, Maria. I don’t know how to have a sister…”

She wrapped her arms around him, smiling for him. “Sure you do. Isabel is your sister. Liz might as well be your sister.”

He shrugged. “This is different.”

She nodded. “I know. And it’ll be tough. For both of us. But we’ll do it together.”

He swallowed. “You don’t have to, you know. You don’t have to try just because of me.”

Maria kissed him. “I know. I want to.”

Michael rested his chin on the top of her head, going over it again in his mind. He had a sister. One he’d never even known of. He stood there for a long moment, trying to allow himself to feel the wonder of it.

*************

Isabel was staring at herself in a full-length mirror. The dress was so perfect, she almost couldn’t believe her eyes. It was very different than her first wedding dress—the sleeves were short and the skirt was much fuller, and the dress had more of a lacy feel to it.

There was a knock on her door then, and she turned and watched as it opened slowly. Alex stepped into the room, dressed as he always was—and she realized it was a dream. She didn’t know why it had taken her so long, but didn’t let it bother her. People tend to just accept things in dreams, after all. He smiled at her. “You look amazing, Iz.”

“Alex… what’s going on?”

He laughed. “Not much time to ask questions, Isabel. We’ve got to get going.”

“Going… where?”

He smiled, and proffered his arm. “Down the aisle, my lady.”

She frowned at him, but took his arm. “What are you doing here, though?” she asked, looking at his shirt and jeans as he led her through what seemed to be a church.

“Isn’t that obvious,” he asked, as they got to the back of the aisle, but she just stared at him, and shook her head. He smiled softly at her, but there was a serious expression in his eyes. “I’m giving you away.”

Isabel’s mouth went dry. She didn’t want to be given away. Not by Alex. Alex was supposed to keep her forever. “Wait… given to whom?” she asked, but her voice was drowned out by the music. She clung to Alex’s arm as they began down the aisle, and he looked down at her reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Izzy. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

She stared ahead to where a man was waiting, back to them. It was an incredibly long aisle… and she had no idea who the groom was. It was too far away to even make a proper guess. “Alex… who is that? What’s going on? I don’t understand any of this.”

He smiled down at her. “Hey. You trust me, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then just have a little faith. It‘s time, Isabel.”

Isabel swallowed, and was about to ask Alex another question but he shook his head slightly, and she realized that somehow they were only about three feet away from the altar now. The groom was tall with dark hair, and she wanted him to turn around so she could see who he was. He seemed so familiar, but she couldn’t quite place him. At the last moment Alex leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Goodbye, Isabel.”

She felt him kiss her cheek, and then he was gone. Isabel turned from the altar, away from the groom, and scanned the entire church, but Alex was nowhere to be seen.

In a moment of panic, she forgot about the dress, she forgot about the mystery groom, she forgot all but one thing. “Alex?” she called. Where had he gone?

She started to look for him, but then the people in the audience—her family, friends, and a thousand other people she didn’t even know—were standing up, standing in her way. She struggled against them for a moment, but before she even had a hope of breaking through the crowd, she was torn from the dream.

But in that last moment before she awoke, she knew. Alex was gone forever.