Re: Under Pressure [SPN XO, UC, AU, Mature] Part 10, 06/07/10
Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 7:10 am
Hi everyone,
I'm really sorry it took me so long to get my butt back here to update. However, real life decided to be a bitch and was really annoying in the last couple of weeks. Hopefully, that's over now and I'll be able to update regularly again =)
Queen Fee - Now that's a relief *lol* I really thought I was the only one who found Bela's accent annoying ^^ I hope you'll like the new part
lizandzackfan - Thanks for the feedback =)
garcia88 - I just had to put that in there, I mean ... Liz >>>>>>> Bela, right? Glad you liked the last part =)
barbara87413 - Thank you for the feedback =)
And as always, last but not least I'd like to thank my beta ZansLove =)
The lyrics used in this part are from Oasis' - Wonderwall
Part 11: Wonderwall
“Dean, do you really think that she's gonna be there?” The doubt on Sam's face couldn't be any more visible.
“She's not gonna go back to Bobby. That’s my guess. If she's not there, I'm gonna turn the whole frickin' country upside down until I've found her.” Dean growled. He didn't want to discuss this. After Liz had left, he wanted to follow her immediately, but Sam had stopped him. Said she needed time to cool off and that she'd come back. Come back his ass. When she wasn't back the next morning, Dean had more or less dragged Sam out of the motel and into the car. They were going to Roswell. It was his only guess where she would go, but he had to give it a shot. He had to find her.
“Why are you so hell-bent on finding her, anyway?” Sam finally voiced the question that had been bugging him the entire time but that he hadn't dared to ask yet. “I've never seen you act like this because of a woman.”
“Because no woman was worth it before.” came Dean's reply while he kept his eyes on the road.
Sam looked at his brother for a while, studying him. He'd never seen him like this. Determined. Nothing could possibly keep him from searching and in the end finding Liz. While a part of him found this side of his brother scary as hell, another part was grateful that this side of Dean existed. “You're serious about her, aren't you?”
“As a heart attack. Always have been. I was never able to get her out of my head ... not for good.”
This was new, Sam noted. Dean never talked about something like this. Emotions. Normally he'd only tell him to shove it and call him Samantha. Liz, however, seemed to bring out something that Dean had been hiding for years.
“You wanna know why it’s so important that I find her? Because ... I'm gonna die, Sam. And ... I don't wanna die without having been in a relationship. The real deal. The no secrets kind of thing. The only time I really had that was with her and that was only for a few weeks eleven years ago.”
“That's not fair to her, Dean.” Sam said. He meant it. Although he wanted his brother to be happy, he knew that at the same time, it wasn't fair to Liz. She'd be the one left behind if they didn't find a way to get Dean out of his deal. She'd be the one heartbroken, as she had put it before storming out of the motel room the other night.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how
Dean slightly nodded. “I know it's not. And you heard her, she doesn't want it, she's afraid. But I have to try. I have to talk to her. Because I know that she still has some feelings for me. Otherwise she wouldn't have run off like that.” He only had to pray that he was right about that and that Liz really still felt something for him.
A sad smile crossed his face. “You know ... if we had been a few years older when we were passing through Roswell ... I would've asked her to come with me. Run away. Marry me in one of those crappy chapels and spend the rest of her life with me. I would've stopped hunting. Bought a house, the whole white picket fence deal with the two point five kids and the dog. I was in so damn deep that it scared me sometimes. But when she looked at me? All the doubt out the window.”
Sam looked at him, surprised at this revelation. Dean would've stopped hunting, rebelled against John? Because what he just said would have been a rebellion. It would have been similar to what going to college had been for Sam. “Let's find your girl.” Sam just said and looked out the window.
A day later – Crashdown Café, late evening
“Maria ... do we really have to do this? I'm not moping. I don't need ice cream and Oasis. I might start moping because of Oasis.” Liz complained.
“No, chica. You come here looking like hell and tell me that you've met Dean. You definitely need ice cream.” Maria answered while she sat down opposite of Liz.
“There's no reason to mope. So what, I've met him. We had sex, which was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.”
“And how was this a mistake? As far as I can remember, the guy is sex on legs.”
“It was a mistake because I was stupid enough to think that it would give me some kind of closure. It didn't. It ripped open these old wounds and dragged those stupid feelings back to the surface that my sixteen year old self had of him. But this is now and not 1996 and I have to get over it already.” Frustrated, Liz put her spoon inside the ice cream carton that Maria had placed in the middle of the table.
“I still don't see the mistake, Liz. You still love the guy. Don't even try to deny it. You always did. Damn, you dated Kyle and Max to get over Dean and it didn't work.”
“But I'm not going to sit around and watch him get dragged off by hellhounds in about a year! I can't do that, Maria. I just can't.” Liz objected.
She had broken the oath she had made to herself. She had told Maria what had killed Nancy and Jeff. She had told her that all the monsters weren't just the result of movie makers and writers. They were real. Along with the thing in her closet and the monster under her bed. Maria had taken it surprisingly well. She had only screamed her head off for about ten minutes. Liz had her bet on at least twenty.
“And what if this year could be the happiest of your life? Do you really want to throw that possibility away because your time is limited? Chica, I still remember how happy the two of you were back then. You could have that again.” Maria tried again.
“If you remember that, then you also remember the mess I was when they left. I knew that they were going to leave but still this selfish, stupid part of me hoped that they'd stay ... that he would stay. It didn't happen then and it won't happen now. Why would I want to experience that again?”
“Because you love him. You haven't been able to use Dean's name even once in this conversation because it would hurt you too much to actually say it. You're afraid that you're going to get your heart broken if you let this happen. Granted, you will get your heart broken, but then again, even if there wasn't this deadline hanging over his head, there could always be something happening to him. You don't exactly work regular 9 to 5 jobs where your biggest risk is getting a paper cut. But this is life, Liz. You have to take a risk. And even if you would work normal jobs, there are always risks of losing your loved ones. Accidents, sickness ... take your pick. Most people don't know when their time is up, but Dean does. And by telling you, he let you in. Because he wants you to be there.” Maria looked at Liz and felt bad as she saw the tears rolling down her best friend's cheeks. But she was right and Liz knew it. Sure, it was hard to say and even harder to accept, but it was the truth.
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
By now, you should've somehow realized what you gotta do
“I really hate you sometimes”, Liz sniffed and wiped her eyes to get rid of the tears, only to have them replaced a moment later.
“For being right?” A small smile appeared on Maria's face. She stood up, rounded the table and slid into the booth next to Liz. The last few days had been tough on her best friend and she wanted to help her, but Liz had to come to terms with everything on her own. She had to make up her mind how she wanted to deal with all of this. And no matter how much Maria wanted to, she couldn't intervene.
“And for knowing me too damn well. You know just what to say to make me doubt my decisions. Thanks, 'Ria” Liz added. She put her head on Maria's shoulder as the blond girl wrapped her arm around Liz’s shoulders. She felt like she was sixteen all over again, moping after the Winchesters left town. The girls sat in a similar position on one of the booths of the Crashdown with ice cream in front of them and Oasis playing in the background.
“What can I say? It's a gift.” Maria answered, causing a small smile to appear on Liz's face. It was a start. “So ... now that we've gotten over the whole me talking sense into you part ... tell me about Dean. Is he still as hot as he was back then?”
Liz couldn't help but laugh. This was ... 100% Maria. And she only now realized how much she missed it. “Hotter. However, he knows it and is about a million times as cocky as he was back then. That's why I decided to put him in his place when we met in a bar. He didn't recognize me. Huge advantage.”
“He didn't recognize you?! Did he go blind or something?”
“He later claimed that I had changed so much ... well, he's partly right. The Liz he knew didn't exactly wear over-knee boots and skirts that would've caused Jeff to pop a vein.” Liz had to give it to Dean, she really did change.
“Whatever. What did you do to him?” Maria wanted to get the details on how Liz had taken Dean Winchester's ego down a notch.
“I shot him down because he was bragging about how he was going to do me that night ... to his brother. And loud enough for me to hear him, no less. That earned Sam twenty bucks, by the way. Doesn't matter. I walked away after that and told them my name was Beth. I played pool and caught Dean staring at me the entire evening ... I might have put an extra swing in my hips when I walked around the pool table ... just to rile him up a bit more. He cracked and came over to me to try again ... and I pretended that I had already forgotten his name.” Liz recounted and couldn't help but laugh as she remembered the dumbfounded expression on Dean's face when she called him Ben.
Maria was in tears from laughing so hard. If only she could have seen it. “You are bad, Lizzie!” she finally pressed out in between laughs.
“Hey, he deserved it. I mean, like I said, he told Sam that he knew what he was going to do that night while staring at my ass, loud enough for not just me but everyone within 10 feet to hear.” Liz defended her actions.
“He didn't!”
“Oh, he did.”
“He really deserved it. You shouldn't have left with him that night, girl. Or you should’ve at least let him suffer a bit more.”
“Does leaving early in the morning count in your books? I mean, the only thing I left behind was a note saying how we should have a repeat of that night if we ever crossed paths again ... signed with Beth instead of Liz.” the brunette finished her tale, a smug grin on her lips.
Maria stared at her, open-mouthed. “That must have been a huge blow to his ego. I mean, from what you told me, it's the size of the entire state of New Mexico.”
“Are you kidding me? It's the size of the entire frickin' country!” Liz laughed.
Neither of the two noticed the door opening and closing or the two guys that had entered the café. Not until the slightly shorter one spoke up, at least.
“I'm hurt, Liz. I mean, really. My ego's not that big. Thanks to you, at least.” Dean said, his gaze fixed on the petite brunette that had stopped mid-laugh and was now staring at him.
“What ... when ... how?” Liz stuttered, unable to form a complete sentence. “How much did you hear?” She finally asked the least important question.
“Enough to know that I was right when I told Sammy that night that you were taunting me. Anyway ... I think we need to talk.”
I'm really sorry it took me so long to get my butt back here to update. However, real life decided to be a bitch and was really annoying in the last couple of weeks. Hopefully, that's over now and I'll be able to update regularly again =)
Queen Fee - Now that's a relief *lol* I really thought I was the only one who found Bela's accent annoying ^^ I hope you'll like the new part
lizandzackfan - Thanks for the feedback =)
garcia88 - I just had to put that in there, I mean ... Liz >>>>>>> Bela, right? Glad you liked the last part =)
barbara87413 - Thank you for the feedback =)
And as always, last but not least I'd like to thank my beta ZansLove =)
The lyrics used in this part are from Oasis' - Wonderwall
Part 11: Wonderwall
“Dean, do you really think that she's gonna be there?” The doubt on Sam's face couldn't be any more visible.
“She's not gonna go back to Bobby. That’s my guess. If she's not there, I'm gonna turn the whole frickin' country upside down until I've found her.” Dean growled. He didn't want to discuss this. After Liz had left, he wanted to follow her immediately, but Sam had stopped him. Said she needed time to cool off and that she'd come back. Come back his ass. When she wasn't back the next morning, Dean had more or less dragged Sam out of the motel and into the car. They were going to Roswell. It was his only guess where she would go, but he had to give it a shot. He had to find her.
“Why are you so hell-bent on finding her, anyway?” Sam finally voiced the question that had been bugging him the entire time but that he hadn't dared to ask yet. “I've never seen you act like this because of a woman.”
“Because no woman was worth it before.” came Dean's reply while he kept his eyes on the road.
Sam looked at his brother for a while, studying him. He'd never seen him like this. Determined. Nothing could possibly keep him from searching and in the end finding Liz. While a part of him found this side of his brother scary as hell, another part was grateful that this side of Dean existed. “You're serious about her, aren't you?”
“As a heart attack. Always have been. I was never able to get her out of my head ... not for good.”
This was new, Sam noted. Dean never talked about something like this. Emotions. Normally he'd only tell him to shove it and call him Samantha. Liz, however, seemed to bring out something that Dean had been hiding for years.
“You wanna know why it’s so important that I find her? Because ... I'm gonna die, Sam. And ... I don't wanna die without having been in a relationship. The real deal. The no secrets kind of thing. The only time I really had that was with her and that was only for a few weeks eleven years ago.”
“That's not fair to her, Dean.” Sam said. He meant it. Although he wanted his brother to be happy, he knew that at the same time, it wasn't fair to Liz. She'd be the one left behind if they didn't find a way to get Dean out of his deal. She'd be the one heartbroken, as she had put it before storming out of the motel room the other night.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how
Dean slightly nodded. “I know it's not. And you heard her, she doesn't want it, she's afraid. But I have to try. I have to talk to her. Because I know that she still has some feelings for me. Otherwise she wouldn't have run off like that.” He only had to pray that he was right about that and that Liz really still felt something for him.
A sad smile crossed his face. “You know ... if we had been a few years older when we were passing through Roswell ... I would've asked her to come with me. Run away. Marry me in one of those crappy chapels and spend the rest of her life with me. I would've stopped hunting. Bought a house, the whole white picket fence deal with the two point five kids and the dog. I was in so damn deep that it scared me sometimes. But when she looked at me? All the doubt out the window.”
Sam looked at him, surprised at this revelation. Dean would've stopped hunting, rebelled against John? Because what he just said would have been a rebellion. It would have been similar to what going to college had been for Sam. “Let's find your girl.” Sam just said and looked out the window.
A day later – Crashdown Café, late evening
“Maria ... do we really have to do this? I'm not moping. I don't need ice cream and Oasis. I might start moping because of Oasis.” Liz complained.
“No, chica. You come here looking like hell and tell me that you've met Dean. You definitely need ice cream.” Maria answered while she sat down opposite of Liz.
“There's no reason to mope. So what, I've met him. We had sex, which was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.”
“And how was this a mistake? As far as I can remember, the guy is sex on legs.”
“It was a mistake because I was stupid enough to think that it would give me some kind of closure. It didn't. It ripped open these old wounds and dragged those stupid feelings back to the surface that my sixteen year old self had of him. But this is now and not 1996 and I have to get over it already.” Frustrated, Liz put her spoon inside the ice cream carton that Maria had placed in the middle of the table.
“I still don't see the mistake, Liz. You still love the guy. Don't even try to deny it. You always did. Damn, you dated Kyle and Max to get over Dean and it didn't work.”
“But I'm not going to sit around and watch him get dragged off by hellhounds in about a year! I can't do that, Maria. I just can't.” Liz objected.
She had broken the oath she had made to herself. She had told Maria what had killed Nancy and Jeff. She had told her that all the monsters weren't just the result of movie makers and writers. They were real. Along with the thing in her closet and the monster under her bed. Maria had taken it surprisingly well. She had only screamed her head off for about ten minutes. Liz had her bet on at least twenty.
“And what if this year could be the happiest of your life? Do you really want to throw that possibility away because your time is limited? Chica, I still remember how happy the two of you were back then. You could have that again.” Maria tried again.
“If you remember that, then you also remember the mess I was when they left. I knew that they were going to leave but still this selfish, stupid part of me hoped that they'd stay ... that he would stay. It didn't happen then and it won't happen now. Why would I want to experience that again?”
“Because you love him. You haven't been able to use Dean's name even once in this conversation because it would hurt you too much to actually say it. You're afraid that you're going to get your heart broken if you let this happen. Granted, you will get your heart broken, but then again, even if there wasn't this deadline hanging over his head, there could always be something happening to him. You don't exactly work regular 9 to 5 jobs where your biggest risk is getting a paper cut. But this is life, Liz. You have to take a risk. And even if you would work normal jobs, there are always risks of losing your loved ones. Accidents, sickness ... take your pick. Most people don't know when their time is up, but Dean does. And by telling you, he let you in. Because he wants you to be there.” Maria looked at Liz and felt bad as she saw the tears rolling down her best friend's cheeks. But she was right and Liz knew it. Sure, it was hard to say and even harder to accept, but it was the truth.
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
By now, you should've somehow realized what you gotta do
“I really hate you sometimes”, Liz sniffed and wiped her eyes to get rid of the tears, only to have them replaced a moment later.
“For being right?” A small smile appeared on Maria's face. She stood up, rounded the table and slid into the booth next to Liz. The last few days had been tough on her best friend and she wanted to help her, but Liz had to come to terms with everything on her own. She had to make up her mind how she wanted to deal with all of this. And no matter how much Maria wanted to, she couldn't intervene.
“And for knowing me too damn well. You know just what to say to make me doubt my decisions. Thanks, 'Ria” Liz added. She put her head on Maria's shoulder as the blond girl wrapped her arm around Liz’s shoulders. She felt like she was sixteen all over again, moping after the Winchesters left town. The girls sat in a similar position on one of the booths of the Crashdown with ice cream in front of them and Oasis playing in the background.
“What can I say? It's a gift.” Maria answered, causing a small smile to appear on Liz's face. It was a start. “So ... now that we've gotten over the whole me talking sense into you part ... tell me about Dean. Is he still as hot as he was back then?”
Liz couldn't help but laugh. This was ... 100% Maria. And she only now realized how much she missed it. “Hotter. However, he knows it and is about a million times as cocky as he was back then. That's why I decided to put him in his place when we met in a bar. He didn't recognize me. Huge advantage.”
“He didn't recognize you?! Did he go blind or something?”
“He later claimed that I had changed so much ... well, he's partly right. The Liz he knew didn't exactly wear over-knee boots and skirts that would've caused Jeff to pop a vein.” Liz had to give it to Dean, she really did change.
“Whatever. What did you do to him?” Maria wanted to get the details on how Liz had taken Dean Winchester's ego down a notch.
“I shot him down because he was bragging about how he was going to do me that night ... to his brother. And loud enough for me to hear him, no less. That earned Sam twenty bucks, by the way. Doesn't matter. I walked away after that and told them my name was Beth. I played pool and caught Dean staring at me the entire evening ... I might have put an extra swing in my hips when I walked around the pool table ... just to rile him up a bit more. He cracked and came over to me to try again ... and I pretended that I had already forgotten his name.” Liz recounted and couldn't help but laugh as she remembered the dumbfounded expression on Dean's face when she called him Ben.
Maria was in tears from laughing so hard. If only she could have seen it. “You are bad, Lizzie!” she finally pressed out in between laughs.
“Hey, he deserved it. I mean, like I said, he told Sam that he knew what he was going to do that night while staring at my ass, loud enough for not just me but everyone within 10 feet to hear.” Liz defended her actions.
“He didn't!”
“Oh, he did.”
“He really deserved it. You shouldn't have left with him that night, girl. Or you should’ve at least let him suffer a bit more.”
“Does leaving early in the morning count in your books? I mean, the only thing I left behind was a note saying how we should have a repeat of that night if we ever crossed paths again ... signed with Beth instead of Liz.” the brunette finished her tale, a smug grin on her lips.
Maria stared at her, open-mouthed. “That must have been a huge blow to his ego. I mean, from what you told me, it's the size of the entire state of New Mexico.”
“Are you kidding me? It's the size of the entire frickin' country!” Liz laughed.
Neither of the two noticed the door opening and closing or the two guys that had entered the café. Not until the slightly shorter one spoke up, at least.
“I'm hurt, Liz. I mean, really. My ego's not that big. Thanks to you, at least.” Dean said, his gaze fixed on the petite brunette that had stopped mid-laugh and was now staring at him.
“What ... when ... how?” Liz stuttered, unable to form a complete sentence. “How much did you hear?” She finally asked the least important question.
“Enough to know that I was right when I told Sammy that night that you were taunting me. Anyway ... I think we need to talk.”