<3 ERICA aka POM <3
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Chapter 13: That sinking feeling
[Maria POV]
“Alex, I really think we should go over exactly which songs we are going to be singing. I don’t want to sing anything cheesy or cliché.” I know that this is technically not my thing and they just asked me to be apart of this, but I just have put my two cents in here; the songs have to be decent.
“’Ria, we’ve all been going over the song selection all night. I think we are all tired right now.” I look around the room at all the guys, and they all have the same blank stare on their faces. I mean, I know that I’m pushing all them a little, but if I didn’t know any better I’d almost think they’re not in the mood for this. Well, I like things to be perfect.
“I know, I know, but I’m starting to change my mind.” Everyone groans and grunts at my comment. No, they’re definitely not in the mood.
“Maria, we aren’t changing the song choice. We just spent nearly three hours deciding on these. I’m not going to spent an additional three hours deciding on new ones. I’m sorry, but Isabel has this whole dinner planned and if I miss it, it’s not going to be pretty.”
“But I…“ I start off in my own defense.
“No buts missy!” I can’t believe he cut me off! I huff and fold my arms, act like I’m mad, and pout my bottom lip. That usually works.
“Not going to work Maria; I really have to go, but hey why don’t you stop by the Evans house. I’m guessing mrs. E is gonna to make a big dinner and I’m sure Mikey won’t mind. He never turns down a home cooked meal.” He laughs and playfully punches my arm.
“No, it’s okay. Go have your big family meal. Tell Isabel I said hi.” He nods his head in agreement. Then stops, and turns back to me in a rapid motion.
“Do you need a ride home?” I smile warmly at him. He always worries about me and Liz getting home alright. He hasn’t changed a bit.
“No, It’s fine. Michael’s suppose to pick me up.” I watch as he stands there for a moment longer and stares at me to see if I’m really telling the truth. “Okay, I’ll see you later.” He told me goodbye once more, and gave me a short hug with a kiss on the cheek in the usual Alex fashion. I missed that over the years; it’s comforting.
It’s not that long before I’m the only one in the otherwise empty bar, and I’m getting that eerie feeling. I just know deep down inside that something isn’t right. Oh well, it’s probably nothing.
“DeLuca! Maria DeLuca!” a voice echoes through the bar. I know that voice. Oh, you have got to be kidding me; you have got to be fucking kidding me! This cannot be happening.
“All these years in this small town, right where I found you last time and I thought you’d never pick up a microphone ever again. I could’ve betted my life on that fact; ten years without that happening, and now this. Well, it’s very unexpected to tell you the truth.” the voice says. I shake my head and continue to think of that voice that still haunts my dreams. This is just a dream; it’s just a figment of my ever-growing imagination. I mean, he can’t be here... God, please tell me that he isn’t here.
I finally find my voice to address him, trying desperately not sound weak or have my voice crack to have him notice that he’d affected me. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“My my, you’re still a feisty one, aren’t you?” I can feel him stepping closer to me; almost five steps, until I feel his body heat. I feel a bile rising in my throat, but I force it back.
As he reaches out for my arm, I make sure to step out of his reach, which just makes him smile with satisfaction.
“Are you still scared of me after all these years?” I’m not scared of him… okay maybe I am, but I can’t believe that bastard is still using it against me.
“Why don’t you leave me the hell alone?!” I shout at him as he continues to circle me like a vulture circles his prey.
“DeLuca, you are one hard woman to find.” he smirks as I continue to step out of his reach when he tries to take my arm again.
“I don’t belong to you; I never did. It was a mistake; when are you going to get that? Are you that dense—do you need me to spell it out for you?”
He nods at my words, I know they sting but they don’t wound him; not in the slightest. “That’s what you say now, but soon enough you’ll remember that by this contract you still belong to me.”
“I don’t belong to anyone!” I snarl through my teeth, disgusted with the low life scum bastard in front of me.
“Little Maria… I see that you’re still thinking like the naïve eighteen year old I came in contact with all those years ago.” This time I could see the determination in his eyes, and before I know what happened, he grabs a hold of both of my arms, and starts to shake me.
“Get your fucking hands off me!! Get off!!” I screamed and kicked him in the crotch. When he wails in pain, I try my best to get away and almost managed to do so before he grabs a hold of my ankle and pulls me on the floor in one solid motion.
“Calm down Barbie, calm down you know you want some more of this—you’ve missed it, just admit it.” He coaxes my hair as his body slides on top of mine in one sudden motion.
I wanna scream but I feel like I can’t breath. No, this can’t be happening again. I can feel hot tears starting to stream down my face. He starts to tear at my clothes and that’s when I finally find my voice start to scream. I try to kick him again but he holds down my arms and my legs with his body weight.
“HELP!! SOMEONE HELP!” I scream at the top of my lungs. Where’s the owner of the bar when you needed him? I’m still trying to keep the situation light in my mind so I won’t freak out completely.
“Shut up... shut up!” He shouts in my ear as he gets up and pulls my hair so I would follow him, but my legs are like Jell-O and don’t want to move.
“I said get up bitch! Get up now!” He shouts at me...now far beyond the point of furious.
“Please Billy, leave me alone. Billy please!” I cry uncontrollably, but he’s clearly determined to get what he wants. He still has a fist full of my hair in his hand, and pulls me outside to the parking lot.
“Don’t Billy me; you had your chance. Now you’re going to give me what I want.” He sneers as he slams me against the car that’s parked not that far from the building he just dragged me out of.
I try to get up, but my legs still don’t want to function. I need to get out of here; I need to get out of here now, but how?
[Michael’s POV]
**On the phone, driving in the car**
“Come on Maxwell, how should I know where Liz is? I’m not exactly the first person she contacts in situations like this. I’m like, way at the bottom of the friend list. Now, I’m already ten minutes late picking up Maria.” And if I don’t hurry up, she’s really going to stick it to me; not only for being late but for also talking on the phone.
“She doesn’t even have my cell phone number; I just got this phone today, remember.” He has it so bad for her that it’s almost funny. If you really think about it, he likes her and she obviously likes him too and yet, look at how they’re acting. Ironic, don’t you think?
“Maxwell, do you what to know what I think?” What does he mean no?
“Okay, well I’m going to tell you anyway. Why don’t you go back to the place she was, which was at work, and ask Sean where she is. I know you don’t get along with him, but I don’t see what other choice you have. I’m sure if anyone knows where she is, it’s him.”
“Maxwell, I can’t talk about this now, just go talk to Sean. I’m sure she knows where she’s at. Look I’m late already and if I’m late anymore it’s not going to be pretty.” Why is he laughing?
“Wait, why are you laughing?” I know, stupid question but I couldn’t help it... the question slipped.
“I am NOT whipped; we aren’t even together.” What? We aren’t; we’re friends.
“We aren’t... yeah, well what about you and Liz?” Yeah, that shut him up really quick. What’s that… nothing to say Maxie boy?
“Yeah, yeah... I’ll tell Isabel... Okay bye.” I hang up the phone only to see some guy drag Maria out of the bar and into an empty parking lot behind the building. What the hell? Who is he? Oh God... Maria.
I jump out of the car before I can even put the emergency break on.
“Get off her!” I shout and roughly shove the guy out of the way as I try to wake Maria out of her unconscious state. “Maria, baby can you hear me? Maria?” I try my best not to shout so I won’t startle her, because I just know that once she regains consciousness, she will freak out.
Out of the corner of my eye I see the guy run to his car and speed away. A huge part of me wants to run after him and beat the crap out of him, but I quickly push that thought aside; I have to worry about Maria right now. But there will be a time when I see him again and when I do, he’s not gonna get away so easily.
I carefully pick her up from the asphalt parking lot, wondering if I should take her to the hospital or just take her home.
[Max POV]
If there’s one guy that I really didn’t want to ask for a favor, that guy would be Sean. Seriously, me and him have never gotten along in the past, we don’t get along now and I don’t see us getting along anywhere in the near future. But he’s Liz’ only family, other than her mom and her aunt, so I suppose I’ll have to be able to at least talk to Sean if I ever want a shot with Liz, no matter how much of an ass he can be at times.
Right as I pull up to the restaurant, I notice Sean locking the doors behind him. It’s only seven o’clock, why is he closing now?
I suppose now is as good a time as any to question him. I now notice that he has noticed me and just stands there with his arms folded in front of him while I’m still sitting in my car. He looks surprisingly eager to find out what I have to say. Well, I’m not good at small talk with him, so when I get out of the car, I get straight to the point.
“Where is she?”
He smirks at me. “Why should I tell you? If Liz wanted you to know where she was, she would have called you. ”Well, I can’t dispute that logic. Problem is, when Liz doesn’t want to be found it’s nearly impossible to find her. It’s like a hidden talent of hers. But I need to know if she’s alright, I have this feeling deep down inside that something just isn’t right.
“Sean please, I need to know where she is. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, believe me.” His thin smile turns into a chuckle, and that turns into a laugh. He never did take anything serious and, apparently, that hasn’t changed. Why I thought he would start now is beyond me.
“You know back when you two were in high school, I knew you liked my weird cousin, but I never thought it would last this long.” Was I that obvious? I mean he was only two years ahead of us. How much did the party animal read into this?
“But you know what, I can see that you really care for Liz, so I’m going to give you three words: ‘old school ground’.” He then gives me a knowing that says more than a thousand words, and I was glad that, for once, he’s able to see that Liz isn’t just another girl to me.
“Treat her good Maxwell.“ Okay, I can’t say that one didn’t come as a surprise, especially combined with the handshake he gave me.
“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sean?” I question him as he lets go of my hand and I put mine back in my pocket. For the next seconds, we’re both just standing there in awkward silence looking at each other.
“What? I’m in the military; I do have a mature side.” I’m surprised that it still exists without his commanding officer present.
As he starts to walk away, I stop him. “Sean wait... thanks man; it means a lot to me.” With a quick nod and smile he’s off to his car while I run back to my own car and started to head off to the old elementary school. Apparently, they closed it a few years back to make a new and better school, but have yet to close the old school.
[Sean POV]
After closing early with Serena, I can’t seem to get her smile out of my head. I’m accustomed with my hormones going into overdrive but not like this. Still, my thoughts are also with Liz and the way she ran out of the Crashdown this evening. That sadden look on her face concerned me enough to run upstairs and ask aunt Nancy what that was all about. After she told me what was going on with her, I understand why Liz ran out, but I also knew that she needed her space right now.
The Crashdown was nearly empty tonight and since we were short on staff, Nancy allowed us to close early, something I was thankful for after working all day. Before Serena left, I asked her out. Nothing fancy, just a casual dinner and a movie. After she gave me her number (yay me), I started to pack my things and head out the door. I was a bit surprised to see Max there, seemingly waiting for me. He probably wants to know where Liz is. I hope those two lovebirds finally hit it off. Took ‘em long enough.
After telling Max what he wants to hear, I go back to my place, intending to clean off the goo that formed on my entire body from working the grill. I honestly don’t know how Liz does this every single day. Just as I go into my room and pull the Crashdown shirt over my head, the doorbell rings, and again, and again.
“I’m coming! Hold on!” I shout as I quickly put another shirt on and start to make my way back into the living room. All this time, the doorbell keeps ringing. This person is really desperate to talk to me… who the hell could it be?
“Tess?” Well I guess that answers my question.
“Sean, I’ve been calling you all day. Where have you been?” She asks as she walks inside. I roll my eyes and groan inwardly.
“I was helping out my cousin. Why?” I don’t know when this happened but she’s really irritating right now. All those little things in my life… it’s none of her business. I look at her as I sit down on the couch. She still hasn’t said another word yet, but I know she’s going to. It’s in Tess’ nature to talk too much.
“I didn’t know you had a cousin.” Big wow there. Could it be… I don’t know… maybe because she never asked me?.
“Yeah, well there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” I roll my eyes and huff a bit, it very much doubt that it went unnoticed but I think she simply chooses to ignore it. And they say men can’t get a hint.
“We can’t all be perfect, Sean. Maybe someday I’ll get a chance to meet your family.” Okay, I’m at a loss here. Am I not being clear here or is she really that dense?
“Look Tess, why don’t you just go back to Kyle? I’m sure he’s wondering where you are right now.” I can’t be any clearer than this without physically kicking her out and shouting ‘I don’t love you anymore!’.
“But I love you; not Kyle.” She looks lost and for a second, I’m sorry to have to do this to her, but she really needs to hear what I’m about to say.
“Well, I guess you should’ve thought of that before you slept with him!” I shout a lot angrier that I intended to.
“That’s not fair!” She shouts back with as much anger and sadness. Okay, that one came as a surprise.
“What’s not fair? C’mon Tess tell me.” She doesn’t say anything.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, I’ve had a really long day. If there’s nothing else I suggest you leave.” I get up from where I’m sitting and open the door for her to leave.
“Leave?” The blank look on her face actually has me questioning if I speak English or some foreign language.
“Yes, as in, can you please leave my house!” This dumb blonde act really isn’t going to work on me, not anymore.
“But I thought we could work this out.” Her voice broke out in a sob. I look away and shut the door; there’s no need for the entire base to hear this.
“You’re wasting your time, Tess; there’s nothing left to work out.” What doesn’t this girl get? Do small words confuse her?
“Why can’t you give me a chance to work things out with you?” She cries with tears rolling freely down her face, but they didn’t affect me one bit… okay, maybe they do, but in no way will it work in her favor.
“Because you’re not who I thought you were. What happened to the vibrant girl that loved life, and I could trust with anything?”
“She’s right here Sean. She’s right here!” This time I look at her. This is over; I just need to make her understand that.
“No, I see a scared shitless girl, that wants to make me believe that this is the Tessina Harding that I fell in love with. For all I know, that woman is gone. Now I’d appreciate it if you left.” I open the door once more, hoping that this time she’ll get the message and walk out the fucking door. But does she do that... no!
“But I love you, with all my heart. W-what if this child is in fact yours? Then what are you going to do? Ignore us both?” She sneers at me with more anger than sadness, now that I said what I needed to say.
“First off, I highly doubt that this child is mine, but by chance that it is mine, believe me, I will step up and be a man; take my responsibilities and make sure that this baby knows his or her father, but I want nothing to do with you.” She didn’t say anything in her defense to my surprise and didn’t say anything until after several moments.
“What am I suppose to do? Where am I suppose to go?” I think I already gave her that answer a minute ago.
“Go to your beloved Kyle.” She walk to the door but pauses in the doorway and turns around.
“I thought we were stronger than this, I thought you said we could get through anything?” I sigh heavily at those words because it was true; I had said that back when things were full of hope instead of sorrow. But it’s all shot to hell now.
“You’re right, but that’s all long gone Tess... long gone.” I manage to say with a straight face. She doesn’t reply and walks out of the door and I quickly close it behind her.
“Goodbye Tess Harding. Forever.” I mutter to myself as I get my things together to jump in the shower.
[Liz POV]
My mind races as I run as fast as I can to the spot where I can always think the clearest. This can’t be happening to me. Why me? Out of all the people in the world, why does God have to pick on me? What did I ever do to him? Or should I ask, did I do enough? What am I talking about? I have no clue but hey, I’m rambling. I think I deserve a right to after tonight.
All I can think over and over again is ‘this can’t be happening to me’. For some strange reason I just can’t get that one phrase out of my head. But I think a part of me wants myself to believe that this is just some bad nightmare that is just going to go away.
At least that’s what I want to believe. I find myself looking up at the stars; watching them sparkle, and a max of anger and sadness courses through my veins.
“Why did you have to leave me?! Why did you have to leave us?! If you were still alive, mom wouldn’t be sick and I wouldn’t be stuck in this sinkhole that is now my life! Why did you have to die?! WHY?!!” I find myself letting out every frustration, every worried thought, every emotion that I held in for the past eight years.
It’s amazing that I haven’t allowed myself to feel anything for that long. Instead, I’ve just grown numb and continued to go through life with a fake smile and a lame determination, and that is just low, even for me.
This disease; this cancer is what finally woke me up, even as I sit here sobbing my heart out and trying to catch my breath, it finally hits me: ‘I’m always going to be alone, and this time it’s forever.’
Getting up carefully and wiping away my tears, I make my way to the jungle gym, climb on top on the monkey bars and hold on as I continue to look at the stars with the same blank look on my face. But as I do, I can sense that someone is looking at me.
I don’t even have to look around to see who it is; I already know. It’s the same feeling I had in high school and I was sad every time Pam Troy picked on me for looking like a boy instead of a girl. He was always there to comfort me. But this time, I’m not in the mood. I want to be alone.
“Max... not now... please.” I plead in a low tone voice, but not once do I look at him.
It’s not that I really don’t want him here; a part of me want him to stay, but can’t get myself to actually voice it. I start to climb down from where I currently am, and I know his eyes are on me the entire time.
“Liz wait, please?” he pleads with me as he holds my arm, preventing me from leaving.
Again, I feel hot tears running down my cheeks. “Max, I can’t... I can’t…” But the words won’t even come out, instead I collapse in a fit of sobs against his chest. I feel secure as he wraps his strong arms around me and holds me. Even with everything that happened in the past hours; here in this moment, it’s the most secure I’ve felt in years.
“Max... don’t leave me...” I cry out in a desperate plea as I hold onto him tighter than before. When he replies it only makes me cry harder.
“Never Liz. I’ll never leave you...” As he soothes my hair and holds onto me, I know he’s speaking the truth and for once, I feel as if I were home; here, in his arms. I don’t want to leave; not now, not ever.
TBC.................
