Author: JaqueDark
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Roswell belongs to Fox.
Summary: Yeah I know it's another baby Zan story. But it's one I couldn't get out of my head. Zan Edison is having trouble sleeping; he can't quite figure out what's keeping him up at night. He's living a happy life with his wife Marie and their two twin boys Alex and Charlie. He knows he's adopted, Marie points out that that might be the reason he's having trouble sleeping. So the young couple investigate and find more than they ever bargained for...
Pairings: CC of course. M/L, M/M, I/J and Zan with an original character Marie.
***
After my mom left I went into the house and everyone was having breakfast, they were all quiet as they sat around the table. Max was cooking and Alex and Charlie had made a space for themselves “Morning...” he began holding out a mug of coffee, I took it and noticed that my arms and sleeves were still covered in her dried blood
“Thanks, Max” I replied and I sat down next to Charlie
“Whose that?” whispered Sara. She was roughly the same age as my boys and she had reddish hair and big green eyes
“It's our big brother Zan” Adam told her “And Alex and Charlie are his little boys, our nephews. You're an Auntie”
“Like Auntie Maria and Auntie Isabel?” she asked, she was a cute kid. Adam nodded and she turned to look at me “You look like my daddy”
“Zan... do you want to get a shower later on?” asked Max carefully, he spoke with such trepidation, like he was afraid of me.
“Yeah... I probably should” I replied as I sipped my coffee
“So are you staying?” asked Liz, she was as pretty as I expected her to be
“Yeah. I am. Mom took the car, I don't think she's coming back” I explained and she just nodded then sat down to the table and began eating breakfast.
***
It took me a while to clear the blood off my hands and arms. I threw away the shirt I had been wearing and borrowed some of Max's clothes. He still walked on eggshells around me.
I stared at myself in the mirror and didn't recognise the person staring back, how many times did Max do the same? I brushed my hair back and dried myself off, I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed out. I went to the guest room I had slept in last night and found the clothes waiting for me on my bed, I got dressed quickly and sat on the bed. I could hear children laughing and playing in the garden.
“Knock, knock. Can I come in?” I looked and saw Liz standing there. I could see why Max loved her, from the few pictures I saw of her she was pretty when she was younger... she'd aged beautifully and had a wonderful glow about her. Would Marie have had such a wonderful glow if she got to Liz's age?
“Sure” I said quickly, I didn't feel much like talking yet I knew that's why she was here. She sat down next to me on the end of the bed
“You were a big surprise” she stated with a warm smile “From the minute Tess told Max that she was pregnant to you right up until last night. I was there when Tess died, I never told Max what she said on the night she died. She gave herself up to protect you... you were with us for a week before Max made the decision to give you up”
“Why did he? I've always wondered why since my parents told me I was adopted”
“Because he loved you... he still loves you now. There hasn't been a day gone by that he hasn't wondered about you” she confessed “He gave you up because it wasn't safe for you, you were human, so he wanted you to have a normal life. It destroyed him a little inside when he gave you up. For a year, the year you were on Antar, he spent every minute trying to find a way to rescue you” she chuckled “You scared the hell out of him a few days ago when Jim contacted Isabel through the Dream Plain saying you'd coming looking. He didn't know what to do, it's not really like him to be so clueless. When you got here and Marie... he was heartbroken. You're his son, I know you've had different parents, but he was half expecting you to greet him with open arms”
“I know I shouldn't really blame him but all I've got left now is my boys. I don't know how I'm living... Marie was my other half... no she was the whole of me. I existed because she did”
“I'm sorry we couldn't save her” she put her arm around my shoulders “And I'm sorry that you have to suffer such a loss. All of us have known such pain and sorrow along the way, it's what we have to accept. We are a very unlucky bunch of people... we're hunted by the FBI and we can't go home. We haven't seen our friends and family in years but I'm still happy”
“How? Why? How can you be happy?”
“Because I chose this life. When I think of where I could have been, where I could of ended up I don't have any regrets. Yes I miss my family, I miss my friends and I wish I could see them again but I take each day as it comes. Sometimes I get little surprises”
“Like what?”
“Like you” she laughed again “When I first found out about you I hated you. I hated the very fact that you existed but when Tess went away and died... and you were left behind I saw how cute and brilliant you were. When Max gave you up, I felt a little crushed, that week that you were with us I was make-believing that you were mine as well as Max's. I couldn't hate you even though you are her son. Now that you're here and I can see you all grown up I feel proud... you act and look so much like your father. You had a good life and you've grown up so well that when I look at you I can see him and I know that you were raised right”
“I did have a good life. I had really nice parents who adored me, I moved through high school so quickly and then there was Marie. I loved her from the second I laid eyes on her and before I knew it I had Alex and Charlie. I wish though that I didn't look like him, like Max, I don't want to look like him”
“Why not?”
“Because everyone has said that I look like him, how great it is... I don't know Max... he wasn't my father. I want to be loved for being my own person, I want to look like my dad. Who was killed for being a good guy. I want to be like him”
“Heh, you are like him. You may look like Max but how you were raised and how you behave that's down to your mom and dad and they should be very proud because you turned out okay”
“Thank you” I said finally and she smiled again
“What are you going to do now?”
“Can't I stay here?” I asked a little surprised, it sounded like I was on my own
“Of course you can. But I mean the FBI is looking for you at the moment, it'll be a while before you can go out into town. Money is tight as it is, both Max and I work at the local school; if the FBI figure out that we're still around then we'll have to pack up and leave. We'd have to take to the road again and it's been a long time since we've done that”
“I'll wait until the heat blows over. I could help around the house... tidy up and stuff. But what about Alex and Charlie? What about school for them?”
“Online courses. That's what we did before we settled down, when Adam and Connie were little and we moved from city to city we'd enroll them on computer courses learning different things. They got a fair few grades before we settled down and I had Jeremy then Sara a few years later”
“Thank you Liz” I said finally and she patted my shoulder
“You're welcome. Thank you for brining Jim and Amy with you... what was it like in Roswell?”
“It was... strange. I met a lot of people, I never realised how many lives you touched in those three years. I met your parents and my grandparents, I met Ava and Brodie and Sydney...”
“Ava?” Liz whispered
“Yeah... she took your last name” I told her and she nodded slowly
“Oh” she said, then fell into silence
“Was she really much like my mother?” I asked after a few minutes of quiet
“No” she said quickly “She was nothing like your mother... I used to think that she got mixed up with her unit and Max's. I'm sure it would have been very different if she had been Tess... we might have even been friends”
“You really hated Tess didn't you?”
“Yes” Liz answered “I'm not going to lie about that. She caused trouble when she arrived and then there was so much pain and suffering, she killed our best friend Alex. He was a great guy, you would have liked him. He helped us out so many times... she killed him and made us believe that he'd killed himself. Then she went away to Antar, she was going to give you to Kivar”
“Kivar?” I stood up sharply as if I remembered something
“You know that name?”
“Yes... I do” I told her “I don't know why though. He's like a monster in a bad dream”
“She was going to hand you over to him. He killed Max, Michael, Isabel and Tess when they were aliens on Antar” I nodded like I'd heard it before. It sounded so familiar, as if I'd dreamt it “Do you remember that?”
“I... I think I do. I remember someone standing over my crib, he had blonde hair... and... I don't know”
“Can I see?” she asked holding out her hand palm up towards me
“See?” I repeated unsure of what she meant, how could she what I was thinking?
“A few months or so before we left Roswell my powers began to emerge. When I was healed it changed me”
“I know. I read your journal, my grandparents let me read it” I explained and she smiled as she thought of them
“Anyway at first I could see little bits of the future then a year or so when we were on the run... it changed, not only could I see but the bits of the future I saw I could actually feel the emotions of the people in my flashes. It grew stronger when I had Adam, I could connect to other people and see the images they thought of in their heads. I have complete control over it and I can even project what I receive so everyone else can see it”
“Well... okay. I suppose it might help if you know if it was him or not but there's something else. Something else I remember, it's a memory I've had for as long as I can remember but the weirdest thing is I know I wasn't there when it was happening” I took her hand and showed her the image of the blonde guy standing over my crib. She nodded her head that it was him then I changed what I thought of to the constant memory I had
“My God...” she gasped “That's us... it's Alex and Maria and our parents! We're all their... we're all happy and we're dancing together... It must be the memory Max gave you before his parents took you to be adopted” I let go of her hand and let it drop down to my side
“What do you mean gave me? You can't give a memory!” I pointed out
“No I know. The memory isn't real, but it's something that Max hoped for and kept him happy. He wanted you to have it so you'd know that being together... it's better than being on your own”
“Even Tess was there” I whispered and she nodded
“The happy times we could have had” she stated “I'm going to go down stairs now, everyone's taking down the booby traps”
“Booby traps?” I repeated surprised
“Something we learnt on the road... when Adam was just a little boy they came during the night. They caught up with us and broke into the house we were staying in at the time”
“What happened?” I whispered fearing the worst, Adam was still here but it could have been really bad.
“We had no idea. They probably would have killed us all if it hadn't been for Max, he'd gone to the bathroom during the night and blasted them and woke the rest of us up. It's not a happy time because we all survived but they took Adam. They set up a temporary White Room and they were going to interrogate him; he was only four years old. We got him back but he was quiet for a long time after that... ever since then he's been an adult. He's watched over his younger brothers and sisters and even his cousins and sometimes us too. When his powers came on he started training intensely so he could protect them from what happened to him. So... now we put little things up across the windows and on the floor near all the doors so we can be alerted earlier. We hang wind chimes and put ball bearings down, we have to pick them up in the morning and pack them away during the day but it's worth it. It has helped when they caught up with us in North Dakota”
“Oh... well then I might as well go help” I said as I turned to leave
“Zan...” she called just as I was about to head out the door
“Yeah?”
“Don't be so hard on Max, I know that I hate thinking about this but for a while he did love Tess and when you were born he loved you a great deal. He still does... always has. Adam has your name as his middle name”
“Oh” I mumbled... I didn't really know what to say to her I just smiled and left the room.
TBC...
so here's the next part and don't be too shocked by what Tess says. I did realise that it could look like she was setting up a trap but Zan really does have a sister and she really is on Antar. I've written Tess to be far more honest than she actually was. This is means to actually be rid of her once and for all. 
um... Adam I guess. But dealings with Antar are almost over. 
